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Alice’s proposal to Jen had been long in the works.
She first picked out the ring: a delicate gold band with a pink sapphire that caught the light ever so beautifully. Then she had booked a fancy restaurant, which she had done a month in advance, making sure the date was stuck in Jen’s calendar. Agatha was then tasked with taking Jen dress shopping, under the guise that Rio was taking her somewhere nice and successfully persuaded her to buy one for the meal.
Everything was in place, and Agatha and Rio waited patiently in their apartment for the (hopefully) good news to arrive.
“What if she says no?” Rio asked, but Agatha shook her head.
“She won’t say no.”
“How do you know?”
“Jen has had a wedding board on Pinterest since her and Alice’s second date. It’ll all be fine.”
Rio relaxed after that, but when they both got the notification for a group chat video call, they answered without hesitation. Billy and Lilia’s faces appeared onscreen, both waiting in anticipation before Alice and Jen came into view.
“WE’RE ENGAGED!” they both shouted while Jen showed off her new ring. Agatha cheered while Rio jumped around in excitement. Billy whooped loudly while Lilia clapped her hands in celebration.
“We need to celebrate!” Billy insisted. “Where are you guys?”
“Heading to Pink Pony Club! Meet us there?”
They all got ready and headed down to their favourite gay bar. Jen and Alice were sat at their usual booth and waved them all over. Before they even had change to sit down, Jen was showing off her ring.
“Doesn’t my fiancée have the best taste?” She bragged. “Look how perfect it is!”
Agatha rolled her eyes, but Rio was relieved she didn’t say anything. For one night, she wanted her friends to have their moment.
“So, tell us all about it?” Billy encouraged. “How did it start?”
“Well, I waited until dessert,” Alice said. “Jen had wanted to just get ice cream on the way home, but for once I put my foot down. Then when the dessert came, I stopped Jen before she began eating. I started by saying how much I have loved our time together, and how I treasure the memories we’ve made together, but I said I wanted a change. I didn’t want a girlfriend anymore.”
“And at that point I thought I was getting dumbed,” Jen admitted, making them all chuckle.
“I could see she was worried,” Alice continued. “So I quickly got down on one knee and told her she’s the love of my life and asked her to marry me.”
“And I said yes!” Jen showed the ring off again. “And the whole place cheered!”
“Oh, I wish I had been there,” Lilia sighed. “What a lovely memory for you both.”
“It really was.” Jen took Alice’s hand and smiled. “She did good.”
Alice wanted to buy a round of drinks and Rio offered to go help carry. They walked up to the bar and recited the list of cocktails off to the bartender (it was the tattooed woman from the last time there were there, during her blonde era that had ended a week ago when both she and Agatha got bored of the novelty. This time she offered her a wink before a look of relation crossed her face and she quickly retreated).
Rio patted her best friend on the back. “So how does it feel being engaged?”
“Amazing.” Alice smiled brightly. “Knowing I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with Jen. Making a home. Maybe building a family. It’s so exciting.”
“It definitely sounds it.”
Alice stole a glance back to her table. “Have you considered it?”
“Considered what?”
“Asking Agatha to marry you.”
Rio frowned. “W-why would I do that?”
“Because you love each other, you’ve been dating almost as long as me and Jen, and you already live together…”
“That last one was an accident,” Rio insisted. Well, if you counted your girlfriend suddenly moving all her stuff in without warning because your apartment was closer to her favourite coffee spot an accident.
“Whatever. I don’t understand your relationship, anyway. Like how is Agatha somehow the bottom in this dynamic?”
Rio grinned deviously. “Oh you have no idea how much of a bottom…”
“Nonononono.” Alice covered her ears. “Not on the happiest night of my life please!”
Rio cackled but did as Alice asked. One their drinks were ready, they carried them back over to the table.
“Thanks Alice,” Billy said once they gave him his ‘pretty in pink’ cocktail. “How much do we owe you?”
Alice waved him off. “It’s on me.”
“But it’s your engagement,” Lilia argued. “WE should be buying you two drinks.”
“It’s okay, Lilia,” Jen insisted. “Alice has money to spare.”
Rio frowned. “What do you mean?”
Alice chuckled. “You know I saved up for months to fit the bill at the restaurant? Well, they turned round and said we didn’t have to pay a thing.”
Rio saw Agatha’s eyes widen. “Wait, so you got a Michelin Star meal for free?”
“Yes, and it made our night all the more special.” Jen leaned in and kissed Alice on the cheek. “Absolutely perfect.”
Rio watched a look of contemplation appear on Agatha’s face. It seemed her girlfriend was once again up to something.
Agatha liked getting things for free. She had no reservations against theft and had great respect for tax evasion and con-artistry.
What she loved most of all, however, was free food. And so, when she found out two of their, she guessed, friends had gotten free Michelin Star food just for getting engaged, she was a little jealous.
But mostly intrigued.
The people in the restaurant had no proof beyond a ring, a fancy speech, and Jen’s likely over dramatic reaction, yet still they got the bill paid. It would be so easy to fake, especially by someone as skilled at lying as herself. And luckily, she had the perfect partner in crime…
It was two nights later, as she sat with Rio on the couch watching trash TV, that she decided to voice her thoughts.
“I want to you propose to me.”
Rio’s head snapped round to look at her. “What?”
“I want you to propose to me.”
“What? Now?”
“No, at that restaurant Alice took Jen to. Now you need to make it convincing. Get a good ring, come up with a whole speech, and I’ll pretend to be shocked and elated.”
“Oh.” Rio’s shoulders lowered. “So it’s a fake proposal?”
Agatha nodded. “For free food.”
“Okay.” Rio looked back to the TV. Agatha smiled. Rio always did as she asked.
“I’ll help pick out the ring,” Agatha said, but Rio shook her head.
“No, I’ll do it all.”
“Rio…”
“It needs to look convincing,” Rio argued. “Anyway, it may be the only time I ever get to propose to someone. I want it to be special.”
Agatha frowned. “So you won’t propose to me for real?”
Rio laughed. “You always tell me you never ever want to get married.”
That was true. “Okay, well then you better knock my socks off, Vidal.”
“Oh I plan to, Harkness.”
Rio looked in yet another jewellery case in yet another jewellers. Her third of the day. Yet still, no ring seemed right.
“So let me get this straight,” Alice said again. “You’re proposing for free food?”
“Yep,” Rio said, grinning as she continued to study each ring in the cabinet. “Isn’t it perfect?”
“Perfect? Rio, it’s ridiculous even for you two!”
Rio shrugged. She knew no one understood what she and Agatha had, but it made sense to them.
“Then why are you making a big deal out of it? Why not get some convincing cubic zirconia instead of spending half your savings on an actual ring?”
“Because I want to propose,” Rio admitted. “I really do, but Agatha doesn’t want to get married. So I figured this is the closest I’ll get to that.”
“So even though it’s not a real proposal, you’re going to propose like it actually is?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, this is worse than I thought.”
Rio ignored her, her eyes instead focusing on a vintage cluster ring with a purple amethyst at the centre. That was it. That was the ring.
She waved over the shop assistant and asked to get a closer look.
“A fine piece,” the shop assistant said. “For someone special?”
Rio nodded. “The most special person in the world.”
“Well, the sales price is $2,000, but if you pay in full today it is $1,799.”
Rio grinned. “Thanks, I’ll take it.”
“Rio,” Alice cut in. “That’s a lot of money.”
“But it’s the ring,” Rio insisted. “I know it.”
Alice sighed and held up her hands. “Fine, you do what you want.”
Rio grinned at the sales assistant once more. “You’ve got yourself a sale.”
Agatha had to admit she was excited, not just for what was set to be a delicious (free) meal but for what Rio had planned for the ‘proposal’. She knew Rio would have fun with it, full of jokes only they would understand, likely a parody of Alice’s proposal that they could laugh about later. She smiled to herself as she studied her dress in the mirror of their bedroom. It would certainly be a night to remember.
There was a knock on the bedroom door and Rio stepped in. Agatha had expected a suit, but instead her girlfriend had outdone herself. In a long black dress with her hair styled in shoulder-length waves.
“Holy shit,” Rio gasped. “You look amazing!”
Agatha looked down at her own red dress and smiled. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
Rio got out one of her suit-jackets and shrugged it on. “You ready, m’lady?”
Agatha grabbed her own coat and smirked. “Let’s go, beautiful.”
They made it to the restaurant, and Rio confidently told the host that she had a reservation under ‘Vidal’. They were soon led to an intimate table for two, and Agatha made a point of asking for their best bottle of wine.
“Let’s hope your proposal is convincing,” Agatha said with a chuckle. “Otherwise, we’ll have quite the bill on our hands.”
“It will be,” Rio assured, pouring them both a glass of wine before holding up her own in a toast. “To us.”
Agatha smiled and clinked their glasses together. “To us.”
They made sure to order the most expensive things on the menu: Agatha went for the costliest steak, while Rio chose a vegetarian option of barbecued mushroom dish with puffed rice. It was certainly worth the effort of their little charade.
The waiter took their plates away before returning with two new menus. “Can I tempt either of you with dessert?”
She and Rio shared knowing looks.
“We’d love to.” Rio accepted a menu. “Right, sweetheart?”
Agatha accepted the other with a smile and glanced it over, already knowing full well what she was having. “Can I have the crème brûlée?”
“Me too.” Rio handed her menu back. “Thank you.”
The waiter nodded and walked off, leaving them alone once more.
Agatha looked to her girlfriend expectantly. Rio seemed nervous, and she glanced around before finally speaking.
“Agatha?”
She smirked. “Yes?”
“I have thought over and over about how I’m going to do this, so here it goes.”
Agatha sat up, ready to put on her best performance yet. Rio gave her a small smile before continuing.
“The first time I met you, I was terrified. I had only come along because Alice begged me, and then suddenly I was faced with this gorgeous force of nature that for some reason had fixed her sights on me. Then after we got together, I was terrified you’d change your mind. That you wouldn’t want me when the novelty wore off, and I’d be alone again. That never bothered me before, but the thought of living without you was unbearable. Still is, and that’s why I’m terrified now, but I have to do this. I have to ask you because if I don’t, I’ll regret it forever.”
Rio got up and knelt before Agatha, revealing a purple velvet box. People gasped around them, but Agatha didn’t care. Instead, she watched in awe as Rio opened the box, revealing her dream ring.
“Agatha Harkness, will you marry me?”
Agatha wiped a tear from her cheek and nodded. Yes. A thousand times yes.
Rio leaned slid the ring on her finger, before leaning up to kiss her.
Agatha kissed her back, caught in a whirlwind of emotions. When she pulled away, she cupped Rio’s cheeks and smiled.
Rio had done so well. It was lovely, it was emotional, it was perfect…
It wasn’t real.
People applauded around them, and a waiter rushed over with a bottle of champagne. “On the house,” he declared. “Along with the rest of your meal.”
Rio, still kneeling, smiled up at her victoriously. Agatha managed a smile back, but suddenly she didn’t care about the free food anymore.
Rio was buzzing with adrenaline. She’d done it. She’d proposed to Agatha.
Sure, it wasn’t real, but it had been so exciting. The speech, the getting down in one knee, the kiss, the applause…and the free food of course. All in all, it was one of the best dates they’d ever had.
Agatha, however, had been quiet all the way home and had excused herself to their bedroom as soon as they got in. Rio wasn’t sure what was going on, but it seemed her girlfriend wanted some space. So she respected that…for a while.
After replying to Alice’s messages asking how it went, and making sure Scratchy and Victoria were behaving themselves, she crept towards the bedroom door and cautiously pushed it open.
Her girlfriend was curled up on the bed, her cheeks stained with tears. Rio instantly rushed to her side, climbing across the bed so she could cup her face in her hands.
“My love, what’s wrong?”
Agatha pulled away from her. “I’m stupid.”
“No, you’re not,” Rio insisted. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Agatha turned to bury her face in the pillow. “I wish we’d never done this.”
Dread filled Rio from head to toe. “Never done what?”
“That stupid proposal,” Agatha huffed. “And you’re a fucking asshole. Why did you propose like that?”
“Why? Did I do it wrong?”
“No, you were fucking perfect. That’s the problem.”
Rio’s frowned. “I don’t understand.”
Agatha grumbled and sat up, her tear-reddened eyes meeting Rio’s. “It was too real, Rio. The speech, the ring. I got so caught up it that I thought…I thought it was real. Then I remembered it was all just a ploy for free food and I…I didn’t want it to be. I wanted it to be real.”
Rio’s heart thumped hard in her chest. “You want to marry me?”
Agatha nodded. “I do.”
Rio thought for a second, before she got an idea. “Give me the ring.”
“What?” Agatha clutched her left hand to her chest. “Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Agatha pulled the ring off carefully and placed it gently in her waiting palm. With a smirk, Rio used her magic to summon the ring box, the ring back in place within.
“I love you, Agatha Harkness.” Rio opened the box. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes, Rio.” Agatha grinned and held out her hand expectantly. “Ring me up.”
Rio chuckled as she slid the ring back on her finger. “So, we’re engaged.”
“We are.” Agatha kissed her quick before picking up her phone. “We better inform the others.”
They called the group chat, and they answered one by one, Jen sharing Alice’s screen while Lilia and Billy appeared individually.
“What do you want, Harkness?” Jen demanded. “We’re watching Kitchen Nightmares.”
Agatha held up her left hand to show off her new ring. “We’re engaged!”
“We know,” Lilia said with disinterest. “I hope you’re both happy with yourselves for committing fraud.”
“No, we’re serious,” Rio insisted. “We’re actually engaged.”
“Yeah right,” Jen scoffed. “What, do you want us to buy you engagement gifts?”
“Rio wouldn’t lie to us,” Alice insisted. “Dude, is it true?”
Rio nodded with a grin. “The fake proposal turned into a real one.”
Billy gasped. “That is so romantic!”
Jen’s eyes narrowed. “Let me see that ring.”
Agatha proudly displayed it to the camera. “My fiancée has good taste.”
“That’s beautiful,” Lilia commented. “Good choice, Rio.”
“It better be,” Alice added. “She paid a ridiculous amount for it.”
“And every penny was worth it.” She leaned her head on Agatha’s shoulder. “So, celebrations at Pink Pony Club tomorrow?”
“Not tonight?” Billy questioned. “We all went out right after Jen and Alice’s?”
Rio and Agatha exchanged looks.
“We have other things we want to do tonight,” Agatha answered. “Our own celebration.”
Their friends made sounds of disgust and Rio couldn’t help but giggle.
“And don’t think you’re marrying before me,” Jen warned. “Our wedding will be first.”
“Oh, will it?” Agatha questioned. “Challenge accepted, Kale.”
Rio shook her head and placed a kiss to her girlf-no, fiancée’s cheek. Agatha was right. This really was perfect.