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“Are you religious?” Langdon asked, his voice keeping Robby from dozing off. Robby looked down at Langdon, his head on Robby’s chest, toying with Robby’s Magen David. He somehow looked younger like this, half asleep and wistful in the mid-morning light.
Robby shrugged under him. “Not really. I don’t go to temple or keep kosher or anything.”
“Do you pray?”
Robby thought for a minute. “Yeah, sometimes. But I don’t really know if anyone’s listening, you know?”
“Yeah,” Langdon said. He wrapped his arm around Robby’s middle, and Robby pulled him tight to his body. He tried telling himself that the intimacy of this conversation was because he was too exhausted to keep his defenses up, but he knew it was a lie.
“My grandmother was religious,” Robby said. “So I grew up with it. But being a doctor… well, it brings some people closer to god and pushes some people farther away.”
“I’ve always been ambivalent about it. I’m still waiting to feel strongly one way or the other,” Langdon replied.
“It’s sort of lucky that you don’t.” Robby wanted to say something funny about how Langdon had moaned Jesus’s name a lot in the past two hours for someone who didn’t believe in him, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew Langdon felt seriously about what they’d just done. And he did too.
Langdon hummed in agreement. Robby ran his fingertips up and down Langdon’s spine. He fought the urge to rush Langdon out of bed. He knew the only reason this worked for as long as it had was because they compartmentalized it. They kept their emotions in check, except for quick flashes where they let their guards down for a few hours. But then they went back to their regular lives. Part of that was physically separating soon after the flash was over. Robby felt it now, that urge to cut this off early, to remind both of them that this wasn’t real. But it was real. And he didn’t want Langdon to leave. He didn’t want to give Langdon back to his wife, to wait however long until Langdon was his again.
Last night had been an intense shift. Nothing really crazy came through the doors, but the sheer volume of patients was overwhelming from hour one. Robby didn’t stop moving for twelve hours, and neither did Langdon or any of the other residents. Robby and Langdon were both buzzing at 7 am, and they’d found themselves alone by the lockers. Langdon looked exhausted and inviting, and it wasn’t hard for Robby to lean in and whisper an invitation to come over.
Langdon had shown up at Robby’s door a minute after Robby’d gotten home, and they wasted no time. Robby pressed Langdon against the wall and licked into his mouth. Six months had been too long. Langdon was an anchor, and the longer they went without being together the more lost at sea Robby felt.
They’d tripped up the stairs, barely letting go of each other, and Langdon had climbed on top of him the second they fell onto the bed. He’d been eager and whiny, his hands all over Robby, surrounding him in a way only Langdon could. Robby had laid him on the bed, trying as usual to take his time while Langdon pouted impatiently, and moved to the nightstand to get lube.
“What the fuck is that?” Langdon had asked as soon as Robby opened the drawer. He sat up on his elbows to stare at the box of condoms taking up most of the drawer space. Robby’s heart stopped, although he knew he had nothing to be sorry for.
“What does it look like?” Robby had replied, defensive.
“Are you seeing someone else?” Langdon had pressed, and Robby couldn’t look at him, at the hurt spreading across his face.
He’d told the truth. “Not, uh,
someone
else.”
“Multiple people.” It wasn’t a question.
“It’s all casual. What am I supposed to do, become a monk?” Robby was surprised at his own anger. He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to: that he was trying to find a way to live without Langdon, without needing him so much, because this thing that they were doing was temporary and too important to him. That none of the people he brought back here mattered, because Robby spent the entire time wishing they were someone else.
“You’re supposed to tell me!”
“Why, so you can throw a fit about it? Come on, you go home to your
wife
. We’re adults. I thought you knew this was part of the deal.”
“The
deal
,” Langdon had spat. “I guess that’s what this is, then.” He’d pushed himself out of bed and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Now, Langdon ran his hand down Robby’s side, slowly dragging his palm across Robby’s ribs and torso, finally landing on his pelvic bone. “How many hours have you been awake?” he asked.
Robby looked at the clock. It was 9:53. “Fuck, maybe 17 hours?” he replied.
“Same. Maybe a little longer. I haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Your major injury?” Robby asked, pressing a palm lightly to the small of Langdon’s back.
“Fuck off,” Langdon laughed. “It was actually pretty serious.”
“Yeah, I know lifting couches can be a very high-risk task.”
Langdon nipped at Robby’s neck. “If you must know, yeah, it’s because of my back.”
“Poor baby,” Robby replied, smirking down at Langdon. Langdon looked up and smiled at Robby, warm and innocent. For some reason, it made Robby recall the image of Langdon’s face when he’d finally come out of the bathroom a few hours ago, red and tear-stained and broken.
“If I’m just a fuck,” he’d said, his voice breaking, “you have to tell me. You have to tell me if this doesn’t mean anything to you. Because it means something to me.”
Robby had gotten off the bed and wrapped Langdon tightly in his arms. “No,” he’d whispered. “Everyone else, they mean nothing to me. They fill the time. You’re not just a fuck, Frank. You mean so much more than that.” He’d promised himself after the first time in the call room that he would keep emotions out of this, and for over a year he’d really tried. But he couldn’t fight it anymore. They’d only been together twice, but Langdon never left Robby’s mind. This was fucked up and complicated and probably doomed, but when Langdon was in front of him, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Langdon had started crying in his arms, huge, full-body sobs that almost made him collapse. Robby had held him tighter and kissed him firmly. The salt of the tears had mingled with the usual taste of mint gum and Red Bull on Langdon’s lips, and he’d thrown his arms around Robby and kissed back frantically, and it’d felt like a kind of redemption.
“What are you thinking about?” Langdon asked now.
“You,” Robby replied truthfully.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m wondering what you think about when you can’t sleep. Other than regretting how cheap you are.”
“I wish I never told you about my back.”
“You couldn’t have hidden it. You acted like an invalid for the entire week after it happened. ‘Robby, can you please get me a coffee? I can’t walk too much, my back is so stiff.’”
“I don’t know why you’re making fun of me. You got me whatever I asked for.”
Robby laughed. “Yeah, I guess I just have a soft spot for you.”
Langdon kissed Robby’s chest. “I think about you when I can’t sleep. I guess I have a soft spot for you too.”
Robby hooked his finger under Langdon’s jaw and pulled him so that their faces were level. “Baby,” he murmured. He kissed Langdon deeply, slowly. This felt so right, Langdon’s naked body pressed against his in the morning light, both of them loose from exhaustion and bliss. As Langdon hummed into the kiss, tightening his hold on Robby’s hip, Robby’s brain flooded with images of Langdon underneath him, hips twitching as he pushed into him, begging. Robby had tried to take his time - he hadn’t wanted to ruin the moment by asking if Langdon had ever been fucked, but he assumed that Langdon hadn’t. The effort had made his thighs ache, and Langdon had pleaded to feel more , had promised that he was all Robby’s, that he would be so good. And it always short-circuited Robby’s brain when Langdon talked like that, and Langdon had looked so irresistible under him, and Robby had given up trying to be gentle. He’d fucked Langdon hard, unable to take his eyes off of his own cock inside of him until he came.
The memory of it, combined with the way Langdon was kissing him, soft and hot, was making Robby hard again. Langdon smiled against Robby’s mouth. “Robby,” he breathed.
“Does your back hurt right now?” Robby asked.
“A little.”
“Lay on your stomach.” Robby shifted to let Langdon roll fully onto his stomach and sat above him. He pulled some lotion from the nightstand drawer, which was now free of condoms - Langdon had begged Robby to throw them away, and Robby, of course, had obliged. Langdon loved to be told what to do, and Robby loved to be in control, but both of them knew that Robby couldn’t actually say no to Langdon.
“This is going to be cold,” Robby said as he pulled the sheets off of Langdon’s body. He squeezed the lotion onto Langdon’s back, making Langdon twitch a little. “Where did you actually get hurt?”
“L-1 to L-3,” Langdon replied. “Please don’t push too hard.”
“I know what I’m doing,” Robby said, rolling his eyes as he rubbed lotion into Langdon’s lower back. “A lumbar spine injury can actually be a big deal. Why didn’t you take time off of work?”
“What am I going to do for twelve hours at home? Watch Judge Judy all day -
motherfucker
,” Langdon hissed as Robby pressed his thumbs into the muscle on either side of Langdon’s first and second lumbar vertebrae.
“Sorry,” Robby said. “But actually, I’m not pushing hard at all. Maybe you should have watched Judge Judy for a couple of days.”
“And miss all the action? No way. Plus, I know you’d miss me.”
“I have other things to worry about when we’re at work.”
“Come on. If I wasn’t there, you’d be tearing your hair out wondering what was wrong with me.”
“Probably not, because cell phones exist, and I’d call and ask you what was up.”
“Sure, Robby, you’d be totally calm when I told you over the phone I hurt my back -
Jesus Christ
, can you
please
let up on the pressure?”
“It’s not going to help if I don’t put pressure!”
“
Fine
, but I’m pissed at you.”
“I can live with that.”
They were quiet for a minute, and Robby kept working at the muscles in Langdon’s lower back. Robby never took for granted any time that he got to have his hands on Langdon. You could tell, even when he was wearing scrubs, that he was fit. He was slim without being skinny, and the tone in his biceps was obvious. He was lithe and strong at the same time, and Robby loved to hold him, to feel his body. As he rubbed into Langdon’s back, he took in the perfection of his skin, pale and unblemished. He counted the vertebrae that stuck out against Langdon’s skin, watched the way his traps tensed when the pressure was too intense. It was insane that this body was this perfect. It made Robby want to scratch and suck marks all over it, just to remind Langdon that he could. To send him home to Abby with some reminder of him, of
them
. Maybe Abby would see it. Maybe Langdon would have to explain.
All Robby wanted, all the time, was to remind Langdon who he belonged to. Which was a crazy thought to have, except Robby knew that Langdon
wanted
to be reminded, wanted to belong to him. He saw it in the way Langdon looked at him, the way he shuddered when Robby told him he’d done a good job at work, the way he stared at Robby’s mouth when Robby laid into him about some mistake or another. He knew Langdon got off on it. And he did, too. Every little look, every moment where Langdon silently asked Robby to help him, to take control, drove him insane. There was no one on this earth Robby wanted to help more than Frank Langdon.
Langdon hissed as Robby tried pressing harder into the knots in his back.
“Does this feel good at all?” Robby asked.
“I’d say yes, but I don’t want to admit that you were right.”
Robby laughed quietly. “Glad you appreciate it. Breathe, baby.” Robby eased up on the pressure and Langdon exhaled under his hands.
“I’ll never get tired of you calling me that,” Langdon said into the pillow.
“Mm,” Robby hummed, relishing the ease of this morning, the quiet closeness between them. The urgency of their relationship had melted away, if only for a few hours, and uncovered an intimacy that felt routine and electric all at once. Why couldn’t they have this all the time? Robby tried not to think about Abby, especially when he and Langdon were in bed together, but sometimes he couldn’t avoid the jealousy that burned through him. Why did she get to be the person he went home to? She wanted a perfect husband, a provider, a strong man. She wanted to be taken care of. How could she not understand that Langdon didn’t want to be that person? How could she not see what he saw every day: a boy that wanted to be held, to be told it was okay to give up control sometimes?
Maybe, Robby thought as he continued to run his hands gently over the small of Langdon’s back, he was projecting. Maybe Langdon didn’t need that at all. Maybe Robby needed somewhere to put all of the shit that built up inside him, made him angry and hateful. Maybe he needed to know there was someone in his control when the world was spiraling. Maybe he needed to know someone saw the ugliness inside of him and wanted him in spite of - or because of - it. Maybe Langdon just happened to fit the bill, and Robby was taking advantage in some way he couldn’t see.
This was not the first time the thought had inserted itself into his brain. Langdon was a resident, really the star resident, and he was young, and outside of this thing Robby was still his mentor. There was a power dynamic that scared Robby sometimes. He couldn’t control himself around Langdon, and he was afraid something was going to go wrong, that he was going to take it too far. But then he remembered how Langdon acted around him, eyes wide and wanting, begging him for more whenever they found time to be together. This had all started because Langdon had asked Robby to
hit him
. This situation was fucked in so many ways, but Robby knew they were both in it 100%.
“That feels good,” Langdon admitted. “You ever think about ortho?”
“Nah,” Robby said. “I like to save my talents for special occasions.”
“Oh, I feel so important.”
“You are important.” Robby moved his hands to either side of Langdon and stretched over his back, kissing his shoulders, savoring the taste of Langdon’s skin against his lips. “You’re beautiful.”
He was hard, his cock pressing against Langdon’s ass, and he was suddenly consumed with want. He knew Langdon would have to go soon, and he knew it wasn’t up to them when they’d be together again. It was never enough.
“God, Robby,” Langdon whispered, barely audible. He pressed his hips up against Robby’s body. Robby smiled against Langdon’s shoulders. It was sort of incredible how fast he could get Langdon hard. It made him feel powerful and desirable. It reminded him that he was someone other than a doctor, that there were whole parts of him that had nothing to do with his job.
“You didn’t get what you needed earlier?” Robby asked.
“I always need more from you,” Langdon replied, his voice slightly strained.
“Yeah? What do you need from me?” Robby murmured, shifting his body just enough that he could run his hand along Langdon’s ass.
“Anything you can give me.”
Robby’s stomach flipped at Langdon’s words; his cock throbbed. He tried not to think about the gravity of that statement or what it meant that Robby had loved hearing it. “My baby,” he moaned.
“Yours,” Langdon breathed. “I can pretend I don’t, but I belong to you, Robby.”
“Fuck,” Robby grunted, embarrassed by how hard Langdon could make him just by talking. He patted around the bed until he found the bottle of lube that had been discarded earlier. He quickly squirted some onto his fingers and rubbed them together to warm it up. He pressed his index finger against Langdon, just barely, wanting so badly to take his time. “Had you ever been fucked before this morning?”
“No,” Langdon whispered.
Robby smiled and pushed his finger further into Langdon, feeling him clench and then relax against the pressure. “Did you like it?”
“I loved it,” Langdon said, a hint of a moan in his voice.
“When you touch yourself, I don’t want you to think about anything but how I feel inside you.”
“Give me something to think about, then,” Langdon said, his voice high and breathy. He pushed his hips slowly back against Robby’s hand. He was stretched out from earlier, but he still felt so tight around Robby’s finger. It made Robby’s mouth water. He added another finger and pushed in further, up to and past his knuckles, working Langdon slowly, teasing him just to watch his reaction.
Langdon got worked up so easily, coming apart at the slightest touch. Robby knew he spent half his life in his head, trying to be the funniest, smartest, best person in every room. He loved touching Langdon because he loved bringing him back into the moment. He could see it right now, the way Langdon was tensing around his fingers, the way his fingers gripped the pillow, the heaviness of his breath as he luxuriated in the way it felt. Langdon lived his life at 1000 miles an hour, and his and Robby’s relationship matched that intensity. But at least this morning, Robby wanted something a little different. He wanted to stretch this moment out, let them both live in it for as long as possible. With each other, they were okay. They took their masks off and took care of each other. It was getting harder and harder to put the mask back on.
“Robby, fuck.” Langdon was fully rocking his hips against Robby’s fingers now.
Robby smirked and used his free hand to take hold of Langdon’s hip, slowing him. “Don’t rush it,” he whispered. He kept working Langdon lazily, twisting his fingers to brush lightly against Langdon’s prostate, feeling it in his stomach when Langdon moaned.
“I need you,” Langdon whined, breathing hard as Robby dragged his fingers in and out of him.
“You have me, baby. You’re mine, remember? No one else can have you.”
“What about you?” Langdon asked between breaths. “Who else has you?”
Robby leaned over Langdon and bit into his shoulder. Langdon’s moan was loud and dirty, and Robby bucked his hips against Langdon’s side involuntarily at the sound.
“Frank. It’s just you. No one else can have me like you.”
Langdon sighed in response. Robby was so hard, his cock pulsing. He pulled his fingers out and lined his hips up with Langdon. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes,” Langdon exhaled.
“Say please.”
“
Please,
Robby, please fuck me,” Langdon begged, his voice tight. He always got like this when Robby made him wait, crazed and impatient and needy. When Robby touched himself, when he was up at night alone, this was the way he thought about Langdon, whiny and wild, all for him.
Robby couldn’t wait anymore. He squirted lube on his cock and pushed into Langdon, trying to go slowly despite every muscle in his body literally aching to let go, to tear Langdon apart. God, Langdon felt good, tight and hot, the pressure insane.
Langdon moaned when Robby was about halfway inside him, from pleasure or pain Robby couldn’t tell. He stopped for half a second and Langdon rolled his hips back toward Robby, which Robby took as a sign to keep going. He dug his fingers into Langdon’s hips and pushed hard the rest of the way, feeling Langdon clench against him even as he arched his back for a better angle. Robby was still for a few seconds, feeling Langdon tremble under his hands, taking in the feeling of being completely inside of him, trying to calm himself down so he didn’t immediately come. Then he slowly pulled away from Langdon before pushing into him again, fast, drawing a yelp from the younger man.
“You okay?” Robby asked, practically through his teeth, unsure if he would be able to stop at this point.
“Don’t stop,” Langdon murmured. “Do whatever you want to me, but don’t stop.”
“Even if it hurts?”
“Especially if it hurts.”
“
Fuck
,” Robby groaned, and he gave himself up to how good this felt, slamming his hips against Langdon’s ass over and over again, unable to pull his eyes from the image of himself buried to the hilt in this man that was an answer to every prayer he never said. Langdon alternated between grinding his hips against Robby and jerking against the bed, trying to relieve his own erection.
Robby leaned over Langdon so that his mouth was on Langdon’s ear. He didn’t slow down as he growled, “Don’t come unless I’m touching you.”
“Oh fuck, Robby, I’m so fucking close.”
“Wait. Be good, Frank.”
“
Shit
. Say it again, Robby, please.”
“Be good. You’re my good boy, my baby.”
“Robby, oh my god,” Langdon moaned, pushing back hard against Robby. Robby felt like he was going insane, like he only existed as this feeling, this want. All the rest of him was stripped away. He fucked Langdon desperately, because he
was
desperate, for Langdon, for this part of himself, for what they had to be real. He groaned when he hit Langdon’s prostate, getting pleasure from Langdon’s pleasure, drunk on the power he had to make Langdon whine like this.
“Tell me,” Robby rasped, “Tell me no one else will fuck you like this.”
“No one else.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m yours.
Fuck
, please don’t stop.” Langdon gasped as he shifted his hips so that Robby could hit his prostate head-on, and Robby knew it made Langdon feel good, and it felt so good to make him feel good, and Robby was so far gone, thrusting recklessly into Langdon with everything he had, doing everything he could to keep Langdon just like this, tight and eager and begging.
“I love how you take it,” he growled. “So cocky out there and so needy in here.” Langdon just moaned in response, clutching the sheets, grinding into Robby with no real rhythm, clearly searching for any sensation he could get. Robby knew he’d never look at Langdon without remembering him like this.
He lasted just a minute or two more before he came, holding Langdon still while he sank into him through the aftershocks. He pulled out, eyes fixed on his come dripping out of Langdon. Langdon whined at his absence. Robby responded by laying next to him and kissing his cheek, then rolling him over so he was on his back. Langdon’s face was red, his pupils blown.
“Did you like that?” Robby asked, cupping Langdon’s face in his hand.
Langdon nodded, then swallowed before asking, “Was I good for you?”
“Yes,” Robby purred. “You were so good for me.” He leaned in to kiss Langdon as he ran his hand down Langdon’s neck and torso until he found his cock. He wrapped his hand around the base, just this side of too tight. He could feel the throb of it. He knew Langdon wouldn’t last more than a minute. He smirked at the thought.
“Oh,” Langdon breathed, breaking the kiss to throw his head back against the pillow. “Oh shit.”
“You’ve been so patient,” Robby whispered as he worked Langdon, rough but slow. “You’ve been so good. Do you want to come?”
Langdon made a tight noise in his throat and nodded, his eyes squeezed shut.
“You can come, baby. Come for me.”
“
Robby
,” Langdon choked out, bucking his hips into Robby’s hand. He came hard, shaking and groaning through it, his hand finding Robby’s wrist and gripping it until his knuckles were white. Robby watched Langdon pour across his fist, and when he was finished, Robby licked the come from his hand, craving the taste of him.
“Fuck, that’s hot,” Langdon said, watching Robby with half-lidded eyes.
Robby smiled and nudged Langdon. “Let me get these sheets up,” he said. He knew it was obnoxious, but he couldn’t feel settled in dirty sheets, and he knew that Langdon understood.
He worked quickly, wasting no time in getting the bed set up so he could fall next to Langdon and let him curl into his side.
“How are you?” Robby asked, kissing the top of Langdon’s head.
“Exhausted. I don’t think I’ve had sex twice in two hours since high school.”
Robby exhaled a laugh. “Well, now maybe you can sleep through your debilitating back pain.”
Langdon was silent for an uncomfortably long moment.
“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I’m laying it on thick about your back,” Robby said.
“No, it’s not that, it’s just - my back isn’t the only reason I’m not sleeping.”
“Yeah? Is something up?”
“I just feel so… off. Like I’m living someone else’s life. I’m stuck in it, and I can’t get out, it’s relentless.” He looked up at Robby then, the blue of his eyes piercing and intense as they filled with tears. “Robby. What do you do when you have everything you’ve ever wanted, and the only thing that makes you happy is the thought of burning it all down?”
“Frank,” Robby whispered. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything else, just wrapped his arms tightly around Langdon’s body, holding him to his chest as he cried. He didn’t know who he needed to be in this moment: a mentor, a doctor, a friend, a lover. There were too many competing roles, and he wished that he could just be all of them at once. More than anything, he wished that he could take this pain away.
“I feel like this is the only place I can be myself,” Langdon said when he stopped crying. “Here, with you. I feel like you’re the only person that really knows me.”
“I know,” Robby said. “I feel that way too.” He meant it. He felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into this thing. Even now, he started to daydream about comforting Langdon until he felt better, taking a shower together, maybe going to lunch in the neighborhood. Calling out of work tonight to order delivery and stay up, talking for hours, learning everything about each other, committing to their feelings for each other.
But that wasn’t going to happen. Langdon was going to go home to his family. Robby was going to try to get some sleep before tonight’s shift. And they would go on with their lives, orbiting around each other until they could collide again, create a world where they got the things they wanted. It made Robby suddenly feel sick.
“I should go,” Langdon whispered.
Robby really,
really
did not want Langdon to go. And that scared the shit out of him. “Okay,” he said. “You sure you’re alright?”
“I’ll be fine. My back feels better, at least.”
Langdon’s ability to feel things so intensely so quickly, and then recover just as fast, always threw Robby for a loop. He was momentarily dumbfounded as Langdon kissed his cheek and shifted out of bed, finding his clothes on the floor. Robby followed suit after a second, pulling some sweats on. He walked with Langdon to his front door.
“I… really had a good time today,” Robby said, hoping that Langdon understood why he wasn’t saying what he wanted to say.
“Me too,” Langdon said. He stepped toward Robby and kissed him quickly on the mouth, then rested his head on Robby’s shoulder. “You know,” he whispered, “I’m yours all the time. Not just when I’m here.”
Robby exhaled and closed his eyes. He reached his hand up to cradle Langdon’s cheek. Langdon leaned into it slightly. And Robby knew. He knew that the feeling he wanted to avoid, the thing he had fought for a year and a half, was crashing down on him. He’d probably loved Frank Langdon long before he realized there was a spark between them, and he’d resisted it for as long as he could. But here it was, blooming in his chest, eating him alive. He stepped away from Langdon and ignored the hunger he felt at his absence.
“I’ll see you at work,” Robby said. He looked into Langdon’s eyes and tried to convey the thing he would not, under any circumstances, say out loud.
Langdon smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, see you at work.” And then he was gone.
Robby trudged back up the stairs and collapsed into bed, uncomfortable with how big it felt now that he was alone. Fuck,
why
had he entertained that request in the call room? Why had he started this? He'd always been good at keeping his emotions in a box, but he went and opened this can of worms, even though he'd known it was going to lead to complications. The truth was, he just hadn’t cared. He was willing to take massive risks for just the promise of being with Langdon, just for a second, even though it meant that he felt hollowed out whenever Langdon wasn’t around.
But, he decided as he drifted in and out of sleep, he’d have to get used to it. Because this thing with Langdon had to end. He could not be in this position, in love with a married man, in love with his resident, willing to do basically anything to make him happy. He wasn’t going to ruin Langdon’s life over this, or his own. He just needed to put the feelings back in the box.
Which, judging by how much he snapped at every doctor in the ED during his shift that night, was going to be more painful than he wanted it to be.