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Lamb of Primus, purely forged.
Become the fuel for the eras of new.
You sate the hunger that starves the blade.
⟡ ⟡ ⟡
Optimus Prime was not himself. His helm pounded as he slumped across his desk, sinking further into his servos to try and hide from the light. Words that were not his own reverberated within his processor in a way that made his spinal strut freeze up. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the Matrix injecting strange wisdoms into his processor in ways that made him question his sanity. But this somehow felt different. These weren't feelings or notions of ideas– these were fully formed words that Optimus didn’t create himself.
There wasn’t even time to process what this was exactly. Treaties needed created, meetings needed attended, diplomacy needed to be shown– and as leader of the Autobots, as Prime, Optimus must do it all. Just because the war was over, did not mean there was time to rest.
“When’s the last time you recharged Prime?” Optimus looked up, Jazz leaning against the door frame with too much worry creased in his faceplates.
Optimus simply shook his helm, “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does actually. And Ratchet would have your helm if he heard you say that.”
He sighed, watching as Jazz walked up to his desk, planting his servos firmly on the surface. “There isn’t time to rest. There are forms to sign, refugees to find shelter for, resources to allocate and it all lands at my pedes. I can’t rest Jazz.”
“You can or your other choice is I go tattle to Ratchet and he orders you to rest. That or he forces you into temporary stasis if you protest. Your move, big boss.”
“Fine, fine. Please don’t get Ratchet involved. Just a quick defrag cycle then I’m going back to work.”
Jazz smiled, all conspiracy and schemes “Good, I’m glad we could come to an agreement. Rest easy Prime.”
⟡ ⟡ ⟡
He dreamt of rivers of spilled energon flooding the surface of Cybertron, cracked denta ripping and tearing into delicate plating with a needy ferocity. He felt the hunger, felt the desperation as he watched from an outsider’s view as the shiny red and blue frame of Optimus Prime was torn into by hungry intakes with a sudden clarity and understanding of those strange words that had entered his processor seemingly out of nowhere.
Optimus Prime knew he was a figurehead of the past, a constant presence that reminded everyone of what they had fought for and against. He came to the conclusion that he must fall for the benefit of the future. That’s what he was being told to do.
The door to his habsuite hissed open, delicate pedesteps walked towards his berth and stopped just beside it. A voice low and sweet whispered to him in the dark, hovering next to his audial, “I hope you’re actually resting and not just overthinking in the dark.”
Optimus couldn’t help but smile. “Star. No, I’m trying to rest at least.”
A feather light kiss was pressed to his cheek before Starscream slipped into the berth beside Optimus. The extra warmth against his plating made Optimus want to slip back into recharge, he sat up instead.
“If I had to ask you to do something based solely on my word that it must be done this way, would you do it?” Optimus’s servo found Starscream’s chassis, resting it against the smooth plating.
“What’s with the cryptic question? I’d do anything for you, I hoped you had figured that out by now.” Starscream met Optimus with a kiss, speaking against his intake.
“And if I asked you to consume me spark and all?” Optimus paused, willing himself to continue, to gather his strength and keep going with his request. He chose to ignore the swell of emotion in his voice, refusing to acknowledge the tears pricking his optics. “I cannot be allowed to keep living, my time is up in this era and I must be put to a stop just as Megatron had been. I was told things, things that I now believe were the words of Primus. And Primus has told me to die.”
Starscream didn’t respond for an agonizingly long time, pressing soft kisses all over Optimus’s face before he finally found his voice. “Dying is something I understand intimately. But consuming? You’re sure this is what Primus wants?”
“In my dream my frame was being devoured, I am the fuel for the future. But if I have a choice in who gets to know what I taste like– then I choose you. You understand don’t you?”
“So you’re just a sacrifice then… Why did Primus rebuild you as a Prime if only to tear you back down saying your consumption is for the betterment of Cybertron? What about me? When you’re gone what will I have left?” Starscream wept and Optimus could taste his tears even with their slight distance.
“You will have the future of Cybertron. If I tell the Autobots that I entrust them to you then they can make their own decision whether to follow that or not. You have your seekers and Shockwave and Soundwave. I won’t let you be alone even when I’m gone. I am not the end of your world but you’re the end of mine. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Starscream crashed into Optimus at full force, dermas colliding as tears continued to stream down his face. Optimus felt wrecked by the guilt of having to place such a decision on Starscream but he would rather his life be in the servos of the bot he loved. If he were to be torn apart and consumed to his very spark, he would want Starscream being the one to do it.
They continued to kiss, holding onto each other like a lifeline– like they were their only tethers to existence as a whole. Optimus wanted to be absorbed within this moment, knowing full well he would be absorbed in a completely different way soon enough. He wanted to savor everything as it was, take in every detail of Starscream before he would cease to exist in his entirety. Simply because it was for the betterment of Cybertron didn’t mean Optimus wouldn’t allow himself to feel saddened at the loss of himself. It was fine, he wouldn’t be here to mourn his own loss anyways– but Starscream would.
His spark felt hollowed out when picturing how Starscream would go about his life in the aftermath of Optimus’s death. He was strong, having gone on for cycles and cycles after the death of the Primes and then even after the war was in full swing. Starscream would continue to survive even after Optimus’s own death. He didn’t want to have to leave the seeker alone, Starscream was untrusting on a good day and unwilling to let anyone get too close to save himself the ache. Optimus could see behind the facade and gaze at the loving and strong willed nature that comprised Starscream but he knew not everyone could or even wanted to. Starscream didn’t deserve that.
It was Starscream that pulled away first, optics heavy with a sadness that drove guilt deep into Optimus’s spark. “I don’t want you to leave me, not like this at least.”
Optimus pressed a kiss above each of Starscream’s optics, wiping away tears before they could fully form. “I understand. I wouldn’t make you if I weren’t being given this directive from Primus himself. I’m so sorry to put all of this on you, my star.”
“I want you to burn me. Scar me so deeply I cannot possibly ever forget you. I want you etched upon my spark chamber so it pulses to the beat of you. Carve into me so we become one. Please.” The weight in which Starscream spoke was heavy, Optimus could already feel the impact of his own death affecting the seeker. It made him ache in a way that made him ready to tear apart the worlds to ease Starscream’s pain. The ache only intensified when Optimus told himself he could do no such thing.
“I’ll do anything you want me to, I think asking this of you gives you the right to ask anything of me.”
“And if I asked you to stay with me? If I asked you to be selfish for me?” Static laced Starscream’s vocalizer, his voice going in and out from the high emotions.
Optimus cupped Starscream’s cheek, speaking softly, each word an act of reverence. “I can’t. I’ll do anything for you but that. If you asked me to tear down the stars in the sky for you I’d do it in an instant, but I can’t just ignore the word of Primus when it’s something this important.”
Starscream leaned into the touch, “I wish you weren’t so fragging noble, stoop to my level just once.”
“I know love, I’m sorry. I never wanted to do this to you, but I’d rather die by your servo than anyone else.”
“Okay. I don’t think I could ever forgive anyone for having to kill you anyways. I’ll do it. But I’m making a request, I want it to be just us. I want one last moment alone with you, to have you all to myself before you’re taken from me.”
“I don’t think even Primus could deny you that.”
⟡ ⟡ ⟡
Optimus’s spark thundered in its casing, despite his nerves, knowing he was going into this to die– there was a weighted calm that covered his frame knowing that it would be Starscream’s doing.
He laid on a weathered marble slab Starscream had discovered deep in a metal forest far from the safety of Iacon. Titanium vines creeped up the marble, brushing against Optimus’s plating when he moved. Starscream hovered over him, pacing anxiously. When he met Optimus’s optics, the Prime smiled gently, trying as best he could to ease his partner’s worries.
“It’ll be okay, I won’t really ever leave you. Even when I return to the Well, I’ll be in your memories.” Optimus swallowed the solvent that felt heavy going down his intake. “Take the energon from the fuel line in my neck, then I want you to eat my spark. Maybe that way I’ll always live inside you.”
Starscream nodded hesitantly, approaching the slab where he hovered above Optimus before descending. He bit down on the main fuel line in the Prime’s neck, Optimus hissed in pain but nodded in encouragement, willing Starscream to continue. Optimus felt his energon drip down his neck, watching it spill onto the weathered marble from the corner of his optics. As Starscream drank from him, Optimus imagined the metallic grasses and ground now painted in his energon.
Optimus engaged the command to open his chassis, revealing his spark chamber. Blue light spilled out from his chassis, enveloping both Starscream and the surrounding area in its glow. He gave Starscream a small smile, one filled with love and an extreme amount of loss– this was goodbye.
Starscream dipped his servos into Optimus’s chassis, the light pooling more strongly around his servos where he touched it. Optimus gasped as Starscream grasped his spark and yanked , pulling it free from Optimus’s chassis. The spark pulsed softly as Starscream opened his intake and took a bite, the crystal shattering on his glossa. He didn’t take his optics off of Optimus as he watched the Prime’s optics fade– energon continuing to pool around his neck, drip, drip, dripping off the marble onto the forest floor.
He swallowed the last of Optimus’s spark before dropping to his knees in front of his lover. He rested his helm on Optimus’s now empty chassis as tears flooded his optics. Starscream couldn’t see, blinded by his grief. He could still taste Optimus as he tried not to choke on his tears.
Starscream knew the taste of Optimus would haunt him for the rest of his life.