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Bob sits in recliner staring out the window, but not really seeing the New York Skyline. His thoughts are everywhere, all at once. He knows that Yelena is hurt during this mission, he can feel it. He hasn’t told the New Avengers, his new friends, that he still has his powers. He didn’t know if he could trust them yet, except Yelena. He trusts Yelena completely. He had touched on every thought in her mind, not that he could tell her that either.
He stands and holds his breath when he feels the bullet tear through Yelena’s shoulder. He feels time stand still around him, and he nearly flew to her to rescue her. But he realizes she was only shot in the arm, and he just knows that Bucky and Alexi would take care of her and protect her, and he exhales and time starts again.
So he’s stood, hovered, and paced for what feels like hours. He spends every second of the time he’s felt Yelena’s pain remembering the way their relationship moved from strangers to annoying burden to enemy to teammates to friends to lovers.
He experiences again the first time she looked into his eyes, the way she protected him, how she literally walked into the Void for him, sat down on the floor beside him in his childhood bedroom and told him it was a nice room and held his hand. He didn’t remember it happening, but he saw it all happen in her memory, from her perspective. The way she fearlessly walked into the unknown to save him, the way she called out to him, how she relentlessly hunted him, has soothed even his dark side.
Until now.
Until he knows she was out saving the world injured, while he knows if he had been there he could have taken care of her, protected her, saved her, the way she had saved him. He feels like she did while she watched the Void attack him, helpless, powerless, hopeless.
And he feels the darkness like the moon has eclipsed the sun.
But this time he isn’t helpless. He has Yelena.
He fights the Void with every second of his own memories with Yelena since she saved him from it five months ago. He remembers the moments after he stood beside The New Avengers, clapping like an idiot, while she kept him with her through all of it: The private moments when she and Bucky argued about how they would handle Valentina. The public moments when the team posed for photo shoots that did nothing to sway public opinion. Moving into The Watchtower, and her telling everyone “Bob takes that room,” indicating the one beside hers. The first night when she couldn’t let him sleep alone. The way she gave up drinking cold turkey, and instead clung to him while she ached with regret, cried in his arms when she missed her sister, took his mouth when the tears stopped. How he felt as if he was born again when her hands owned his skin, how she couldn’t get enough of his body after she had him the first time, the second time, the hundredth time.
But he turns to look at the situation room, noting his feet are still hovering off the ground, and realizes he is still alone.
We’ll always be alone.
He shrugs away the voice in his head when he finally hears a nurse tell Alexi, “Make sure she keeps it in a sling for two weeks. She doesn’t need to tear the stitches out.”
When he knows the danger is over and she is recovering in the hospital he sends her a text.
Bob: Hi Yelena, it’s me Bob :-D
Yelena: I know it’s you Bob, I have you saved in my contacts.
He can literally hear the text in her voice, and he loves the way she says his name.
Bob: I was just checking in to see how the mission is going.
There are three dots for several seconds, before the text arrives.
Yelena: Do you know where I am Bob?
Bob knows Yelena isn’t seeing any dots. He doesn’t know how to answer her question. He doesn’t want to lie to her, and he doesn’t want to tell her the truth.
He thinks back to what Valentina told him in that storage room she thought could hold him.
You can do anything. You’re perfect Robert.
He tried not to let that thought dig too deep inside his head. No one is perfect, especially not him. Not Bob.
He could see her hospital room in his mind. He could see the layout of the area around her, and wondered if he could put himself there by thinking it.
Teleportation.
That is what it is called. And as he closes his eyes he thinks about being there with her. He thinks about Yelena, and the fact that she’s hurt. He knows she needs him to make her feel better.
He opens his eyes and he’s there, standing right inside her door. She glances up, probably because of her heightened senses, and actually jumps out of her skin.
“What the actual fuck Bob! How are you here?” she asks, actually startled, her bright green eyes wider than usual. But then she thinks about it for a second, her eyes soften, and she can’t say the word out loud.
He looks at her, and in that moment he feels Sentry’s arrogance flash across his face.
“You can do that?” she asks, with a quiet seriousness that stuns him, because he can see it scares her. As with everything else, she doesn’t hide her feelings. She tells him why she’s afraid, even though he already knows. “What about him?”
“We’ll be okay,” he replies with a sheepish grin, and she gives him her look, the one that says she wants him and is confused by him at the same time. “Does it hurt?” he asks as he walks toward her slowly, to somehow make her more comfortable with the fact that he really is an all-powerful being, as if she’d forgotten it.
She thinks about telling him she’s fine, but instead she sobs, “It hurts like hell Bob.” And then she’s crying. “I was shot, and Walker tried to stop it with his shield but it’s still not flat and it deflected the wrong way.” He happens to love it when she talks, especially when she runs her sentences together because he knows she’s letting her emotions out. “Why don’t you flatten Walker’s shield instead of making him carry around a taco?”
“I think it’s funny,” he says with a chuckle. His eyes light up, and she smiles as she wipes the tears from her cheeks.
“You’re really not worried about...” she doesn’t finish her sentence, because he’s beside her now on her bed. She scoots a little, but he climbs in and pulls her toward him.
“Lena,” he says, just like Alexi does, and her smile gets brighter.
Then purposefully he takes her hand, and she gasps just before…
She opens her eyes and she’s in their backyard in Ohio. It’s a bright sunny day, not too hot, and there’s not a cloud in the sky.
“Lena!” her dad calls out to her, and her younger self giggles as she turns the radio up. One of her mom’s favorite sappy love songs is playing, and Natasha sings it loudly.
And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, nothing’s gonna stop us now.
“Lena! Come get the burgers,” he says again, and little Yelena runs toward him at the grill. She grabs a plate, and Natasha carries a bag of buns and a jar of mayo, and her mom carries a plate with sliced tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and a bottle of ketchup, and they all gather around a picnic table.
Melina wraps her arm around little Yelena’s shoulder, and kisses the top of her head. “You’re a good girl, baby,” she says lovingly.
Yelena smiles proudly, and turns to Natasha who is sitting beside their dad.
“You too Tasha,” Melina says. “You’re my good girls.”
And if this world runs out of lovers, we’ll still have each other, nothing’s gonna stop us now.
Alexi nods at Melina, then grins at Natasha before he kisses the top of her head. “My girls are the toughest girls in the world.”
Yelena looks on, a feeling of peace she hadn’t felt in years coming over her. And then she turns to her side and sees Bob gazing at her happily.
She opens her eyes, and Bob is there beside her. Her pretty eyes grow wide again, and she sighs. “You can do that?”
He takes the nape of her neck and gently pulls her cheek against his shoulder, before he kisses the top of her head. “Apparently I can.”
“What else can you do?” she asks excitedly, as if she’s still that adorable, excitable six year old girl.
“So many things,” he replies in a voice that is almost a purr, as smooth as black suede. His fingers rub gently over her injured shoulder, and she jumps again. She gasps, because suddenly she was surprised that her shoulder doesn’t hurt anymore.
“Bob. How did you do that?” she murmurs, in a voice that is as serious as it was in the vault .
“Didn’t you wonder why you don’t need so many ibuprofen when you sleep beside me? Didn’t you wonder how easy it is to fall asleep?” He heard it in his voice, the tone he only used for her. He was normally so timid, but with her he’s very safe and secure, and if he can be so bold to say confident.
“You healed me and didn’t tell me?” She almost sounded defensive and a little ticked off.
“Don’t worry about it,” he muses, and caresses her hair. She calms down a little. “You’re such a good girl Lena,” he mutters, as he brushes his fingertips lightly over her cheek then down her neck. “You’re so beautiful.”
She makes that purring noise in the back of her throat she always does when he praises her. He likes these moments when she’s calm, when she can let go of her past and the red on her ledger, and she can just enjoy being herself. And that’s why he does it for her.
But it never lasts long because Yelena is a barely contained ball of mostly positive energy. “Can we talk about what else you can do?” she asks, and tries to sit up again.
“I can make you whole again,” he tells her, after he looks into her eyes for several moments, reading her reactions in her eyes without having to look into her thoughts. “What they took from you in the Red Room. I can give it back to you.”
She’s obviously confused now. “What? How?” She stares into his eyes like she did that first time again, not knowing what she’s dealing with and uncomfortable about it. “Why?”
“So we can…” She looks away from him then, and that scares him. He only ever wants her eyes on him because she sees him like no one else ever has. “I mean only… just… If you want. If you’d want to, with me, we could…”
She closes her eyes for a moment, and it’s a moment too long.
“I mean, eventually of course. Not right now.” He scoffs, and shakes his head. “It’s too soon. I’m always making things worse.”
“Bob,” she says his name with doubt, without love or trust. And it scares him. “We can’t. You know that.”
“It’s because of me…” She shakes her head, but he knows it’s true. “Isn’t it? It’s because I’m not normal. It’s because of him..”
“No Bob,” she argues, but it’s half-hearted. “Bob I can’t.”
“I never should have asked you that.” He sighs loudly. He fucks up everything. All the time. It’s what he does. His mom was right. “Of course you wouldn’t…” he mumbles.
She notices he’s withdrawing, and she places her hand softly on his cheek. “Bob, come back.” That’s what she says when he pulls away from her, when he starts to think about all the bad stuff again. “We can maybe…”
“It was stupid. Maybe you should forget it.” Faster than she can understand what’s happening he’s standing beside her bed again.
She leans toward him, and says, “Maybe we should talk about this.” But he knows deep down it’s not what she wants right now, or what she needs.
“I love you, Lena.” He says it with so much emotion he knows she understands. Even if she doesn’t say she loves him back, he knows she cares. More than anyone else ever has. “Forget it happened, Yelena. Forget that I was here.”
“Bob, I can’t…”
Suddenly he’s back at the Watchtower. He’s holding his phone in his hand, and looking at the screen.
Yelena: Do you know where I am Bob?
He knows she isn’t seeing the dots. So he decides to answer.
Bob: Romania? Budapest?
Then the dots are back. He chews on his bottom lip and waits.
Yelena: Rome, Bob. The Basilica of Saint Paul was threatened.
He nods, and knows this is best. Maybe he’ll try again soon. Maybe he won’t. He’ll wait until she brings it up.
Bob: I can’t wait until you’re home.
The dots kill him.
Yelena: Me too, Bob. I can’t wait for you to hold me. I always feel better when I’m in your arms.
He tries not to laugh.
Yelena. Is that weird?
Bob grins, knowing why she feels better with him.
Bob: I feel better with you too.
Yelena: I’ll be home soon. I promise.
He knows she’ll come back to him. He won’t be alone much longer. And he hopes that, eventually, she’ll be ready. He’ll be waiting when she is.
We’ll be waiting, the voice in his head says.