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As the tiny clock on their dresser ticked into the dark hours of the middle of the night, Viktor was grateful they had gone to bed early.
He was used to sleeping in smaller periods, broken by the need to get up and use the bathroom, or by leg cramps, or by the sensation of their baby once again deciding it was the perfect time to worm their foot up into Viktor’s ribcage. Truly, it was old news at this point.
But tonight, restful sleep just didn’t wish to come. He’d slept only three hours or so before waking again to use the bathroom, and by the time he’d gotten out of bed, gone, stopped for water and to wait out another bout of false contractions, he was practically wide awake as he climbed back into bed and started the process of getting comfortable all over again.
Jayce was soundly asleep, snoring into his pillow. After he’d fallen asleep on the couch, Viktor had sat there and lightly dozed himself until he’d awoken to the feeling of a sharp pain stabbing right at his cervix. He’d jolted awake with a hiss, which woke up Jayce in turn. After some bleary fussing on Jayce’s part and reassurance from Viktor that it was simply another wonderful symptom of late pregnancy, they’d made the mutual decision to retreat to bed for the night. More rest would do Jayce and his lingering cold some good, and Viktor could hardly pass up the opportunity to lay snug and warm in their bed together.
Jayce had coaxed a nice fire into the hearth of their bedroom and helped Viktor arrange his pillows needed to support his body, before pressing flush to Viktor’s back and kissing at the knobby top of his vertebrae until he was asleep once more.
And while Viktor had fallen asleep easily enough as well, it did not seem inclined to happen again that night.
He huffed in annoyance before performing the arduous task of pushing himself up into a sitting position and out of bed again. Padding over to the fireplace, Viktor groaned softly as he lowered himself to his knees, one hand braced on the brick surround. He grabbed a small log and tossed it into the hearth, before grabbing the poker and mixing the embers about.
“Viktor?” Jayce’s sleep roughed voice rumbled from the bed, the other man stirring and rubbing at his eyes. He squinted sleepily at Viktor. “You cold? Let me do that.”
“Go back to sleep,” Viktor said gently, glancing over his shoulder with a fond, if tired smile. “I’m alright.”
But Jayce was already up and moving, feet scuffling on the floor as he came to kneel next to Viktor, taking the poker and reviving the fire with heavy lidded eyes. Viktor allowed him to do as much, knowing Jayce wouldn’t rest soundly otherwise. He leaned his head against Jayce’s shoulder, letting out a soft exhale.
Jayce turned his head to kiss Viktor’s hair. “What’s wrong?”
Jayce wasn’t unfamiliar with nights where Viktor couldn’t sleep. As much had been true back during their days in the lab, and after settling down in Estwall, they both grappled with the fear of falling asleep and waking to find out their newfound peace was nothing but a dream. The third trimester of Viktor’s pregnancy had brought bouts of restlessness as well, where Viktor’s shifting inevitably woke Jayce much as it had tonight.
But Viktor felt different tonight. It wasn’t a general physical discomfort, or the constant motion of their baby that kept Viktor awake. He simply couldn’t settle himself, as much as he might have wished otherwise.
“I don’t know,” Viktor answered honestly, sighing. “I cannot sleep.”
Jayce set the poker back in its stand once he was satisfied with the fire, and helped Viktor back up to his feet. He frowned, hand moving to rub circles on Viktor’s lower back once they were standing.
“Are you hurting?” Jayce asked gently. Viktor tended to answer that question in two ways these days—either with a resigned sigh and affirmation, or a scathing look and remark at Jayce for suggesting that there could be any alternative. Jayce certainly didn’t fault Viktor when the latter happened, knowing that if Viktor was snapping at him, he had to have been truly uncomfortable.
But Viktor didn’t do either, simply shaking his head. “No, not really. I am not in actual pain, I just feel…” Viktor paused, gnawing at his bottom lip and rubbing a hand over the swell of his stomach. “Twitchy.”
“Twitchy.” Jayce echoed, an eyebrow raising. That was a new way to describe it. He supposed he’d seen Viktor like this before, when a breakthrough occurred and he couldn’t wait to get to the lab to fully work it out, or more recently when Viktor found himself inexplicably drawn to scrubbing the baseboards.
Viktor huffed, frowning slightly. “I want to sleep.”
Jayce gave a small, sympathetic smile. “I know you do, baby. How can I help? Massage? Tea?” Jayce paused. “Sex?”
Despite his unhappiness with being so restless, Viktor had to smile. Middle of the night romps were not uncommon between them, and Viktor always did sleep quite soundly after. But he felt the overwhelming urge to move, and as pleasurable as it was, writhing under Jayce’s affections wasn’t what he needed.
“No, but thank you,” Viktor replied, tilting his head up to kiss Jayce’s cheek. “I think I may just be up for now. Perhaps I’ll go do a little work on the turbine plans.” Viktor’s expression softened. “You should go back to sleep.”
Jayce looked put out at the suggestion. “I feel bad making you sit alone in the middle of the night.”
“You’ll feel worse if you stay up all night. Both of us can’t be cranky tomorrow.” Viktor sighed again, and moved to wrap his arms around Jayce’s waist, pressing his face into Jayce’s clavicle.
Jayce’s arms immediately came up to wrap around Viktor, one broad hand cradling Viktor’s head to his chest as he began to gently sway them back and forth. “I won’t be cranky,” Jayce murmured, kissing Viktor’s head again. “But if you want to be alone, I can do that.”
Did Viktor want to be alone? That implied he could ever want to be away from Jayce, which was not the truth. Viktor could easily give in to every urge he felt that demanded he stay fused to Jayce’s side at all times, the ever simmering undercurrent of need to make up for years of pining, and to feed into the fears that whispered, in the mystical, terrifying voice of the Hexcore, that Jayce wouldn’t be there again should they part for any reason.
But Viktor was doing his best to shove down those ugly insecurities and nagging worries, trying hard to let himself fully enjoy the life they had carved out for themselves.
“I don’t.” Viktor replied, and kissed Jayce’s chest, letting the steady beat of his heart thrum against his lips. “You don’t mind?”
“Of course not.” Jayce immediately reassured, squeezing Viktor just a bit tighter.
They ended up in the kitchen with Jayce getting the cookstove going to warm the kettle, and Viktor hovering nearby. His physical restlessness didn’t make him feel inclined to sit, so as Jayce lit the match and coaxed the small pieces of wood into a nice fire in the firebox, Viktor slowly paced about the room, cane softly thumping on the hardwood.
“Alright,” Jayce said, wiping his hands off on his dressing gown once the firebox door was firmly shut. “Give that a couple of minutes and I’ll make you some tea, okay?”
“Thank you,” Viktor replied, smiling at Jayce as he continued to aimlessly move about the kitchen. He stopped at the window, looking past the drawn curtains into the darkness of night briefly before closing them again. He pursed his lips, then moved over to the table to push in a chair that was slightly askew.
He tapped his cane against the floor. Jayce snorted.
“I’m sorry!” Jayce couldn’t help but chuckle when Viktor shot him a questioning look, moving to put a hand on Viktor’s lower back and rub soothingly. “You’re right. You are twitchy.”
“I told you I was,” Viktor replied, leaning into Jayce’s touch. His hand was wonderfully warm from getting the cookstove going, the strength within his broad palm seeping into Viktor’s achy muscles. “Not that there’s anything to do at this hour.”
“Guess we were spoiled by Piltover never sleeping,” Jayce replied, thinking back to the countless times where he and Viktor had been able to grab a bite to eat, or occasionally a drink, no matter the hour. Jayce’s lips quirked.
“Do you remember that time we went out—Janna, it had to be three in the morning—we went to that bar?”
“The one with the dumplings?” Viktor asked, then smiled a little wider. “And the open mic?”
“And the open mic,” Jayce echoed, grinning. “That one guy got up there and queued up three songs—“
“—And couldn’t hit a note in any of them,” Viktor laughed. They had finally caved and decided to take a break from working through one of the first designs for the Hexgates, both of them going nearly crosseyed with frustration. It had been Jayce who suggested finding something to eat, and Viktor who picked the bar, wanting a stiff drink to loosen the tight ball of inadequacy that had taken root in his chest.
And what was supposed to be a break to settle their minds and regroup, had turned into three hours filled with greasy dumplings and sweet, too strong drinks that warmed them from the inside out and uncontrollable laughter at the poor souls who dared to sing karaoke in the wee hours of the morning. They ended up stumbling back to the lab and promptly passed out on the old couch in there, not yet rendered lumpy and dingy from the subsequent years of abuse.
Jayce’s laughter quieted and he simply looked at Viktor, happiness giving way to just a touch of melancholy. His other hand moved up to brush some of Viktor’s hair back from his temple, bringing the soft strands behind his ear.
“I wanted to kiss you that night,” Jayce murmured, lips quirking. “Gods, I think that was the first time I’d ever heard you laugh so much and I just—I thought you were gonna stop my heart, Viktor.”
Viktor felt the heat of his blush travel across his cheeks and right up to his ears. “Oh, stop it.”
“I mean it,” Jayce insisted, both hands moving until he was cupping Viktor’s face, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “I always thought you were attractive but that night… I realized how beautiful you are. Fuck, I don’t know how I ever convinced myself it was just the alcohol—no. No, I never actually convinced myself. I was just a moron and chose to ignore it.”
Viktor wanted to duck his face and hide away from Jayce’s sappiness, but the loving hold Jayce had on him made that impossible, not to mention the little crease between Jayce’s eyebrows that he always got when he was getting caught up in himself. Viktor’s own hand came up to press his thumb there and smooth it away, then over the ridge of Jayce’s eyebrow.
“I never said anything either, now did I?” Viktor replied, voice steady despite the squirming giddiness that simmered in his chest. “I knew how much I wanted you. Perhaps I was the moron for keeping it to myself?”
“No,” Jayce scoffed, and that look of longing remorse over the past began to abate, melting into the soul deep expression of tenderness that Jayce could always muster up when it came to Viktor. “No. I can’t blame you for not saying anything. I probably wouldn’t have either if it was reversed.”
“Then instead of calling yourself names,” Viktor murmured, turning his head to kiss Jayce’s palm, where the faintest bits of scaring from the rune existed, mirroring Viktor’s own. “You can kiss me and make my tea?”
Viktor knew the only way to get Jayce out of his own head was to give him something else to focus on. And while he would’ve felt bad trying to move on so quickly from anyone else baring their vulnerabilities, a doom spiral over their own idiocy and wasted time was not suitable before sunrise.
“Like you have to ask,” Jayce smiled, lowering his head to kiss Viktor, placing a long one on his lips before beginning to pepper soft kisses everywhere else. The mole by Viktor’s mouth, the tip of his nose, the mole under his eye, his left cheekbone—penance for every missed opportunity and wasted urge in the past.
“Raspberry leaf tea?” Jayce mumbled, as his lips found their way back to Viktor’s, unable to stay away for long.
“Mhm,” Viktor hummed, eyes fluttering as Jayce’s mouth just barely brushed his. “Thank you.”
Jayce stole one last kiss before moving away and grabbing the copper kettle to fill it with water. Viktor shifted, resting his cane against the dinner table and leaning against the back of one of the chairs as he watched Jayce work. It was second nature to Jayce now, able to prepare Viktor’s tea just by the dim firelight of the cookstove and the few candles that chased away the night. Measuring out the right amount of leaves, filling the small steeper he’d crafted that hooked right on the side of Viktor’s mug, taking out the small jar of honey and letting his palms warm the lid that tended to stick as the honey congealed on the seal.
Viktor smoothed his other hand over his stomach, the baby wonderfully still for once.
Do you know, my love, Viktor wished to ask their unborn child, how lucky we both are? What your father has given up for me? What he would give up for you? Is it possible to pay back such deep devotion?
The kettle began to hiss and Jayce grabbed a pot holder to take it off the cookstove, filling Viktor’s mug with the perfect amount of water. He set the kettle down on a woven trivet, and after stirring a heaping spoonful of honey in, turned to Viktor with the mug and a soft smile.
“Wanna go look over those turbine plans?”
If there was one thing Viktor was sure of, it was that only Jayce Talis could make him fall in love all over again with just a few simple words.
They worked by lamplight in the office for a while, pouring over Viktor’s plans for the turbines. Jayce gave his critiques and opinions—what was feasible, what he and his assistant at the forge could make and what they would need to outsource to the bigger, more urbanized town that was a few hours’ journey away.
Viktor had a few more bouts of false contractions, but nothing that bothered him too much. No, what bothered him was his back, an ache setting in not long after they got deep into the blueprints. Viktor shifted and breathed and did everything that usually helped. But no amount of extra cushioning on his chair or firm pressure from Jayce’s hands seemed to help, and after eating a light breakfast that soon turned into a frightfully upset stomach, going as quickly as it came, Jayce successfully convinced Viktor to leave the work for now and to take a hot bath instead.
Jayce showered quickly to get the hot water up and running as Viktor busied himself with undressing and some light stretching that had helped in the past. As the pipes rattled and knocked, still not obscuring the tune that Jayce hummed to himself, Viktor finished his last set of the stretches and settled down on the edge of the bed. He yawned, the effects of waking up in the middle of the night and not going back to sleep starting to catch up with him.
The pipes groaned again, and Viktor heard the water switch from the showerhead to the bath faucet, followed by the metallic swish of Jayce pulling back the shower curtain. Viktor could hear the bathroom cabinet opening, Jayce no doubt taking out the special bath salts for Viktor.
“Ah—“ Viktor’s breath caught as he felt the familiar sensation beginning again. He leaned back, breathing deep as another false contraction tightened across his belly. His face creased a bit—that one certainly felt stronger than before. He counted in his head, absentmindedly tracking how long it lasted before the feeling began to abate. As it started to ease, he opened his mouth to call out to Jayce when it felt almost as if the baby kicked hard once, like the way they had been able to when they were smaller, cutting off his voice. A sudden release of pressure like a rubber band snapping, and Viktor’s breath caught as he felt a warm rush of liquid between his thighs, soaking down into the bedding below. He instinctively tried to tighten his pelvic muscles to stop it but to no avail, and the realization dawned on Viktor.
Jayce came out of the bathroom hardly a minute later, stifling a yawn as he padded back into their bedroom.
“Alright, bath is all set.” he said, coming over and reaching to help Viktor stand. He grabbed the hand Viktor held out and reached for his other one.
“My water broke.”
Jayce froze, and Viktor watched as his eyes widened, before the color drained from his face. The other hand Jayce held out was stuck hovering in midair as his mouth dropped open.
Viktor didn’t mean to laugh, not really. But Jayce’s expression, absolutely stricken and gobsmacked, was too good to pass up. Besides, with the sudden spike of anxiety that was beginning to simmer in Viktor’s belly, laughing seemed as good a reaction as anything.
“What?! When?!” Jayce spluttered as Viktor gave a little laugh. He frantically looked down Viktor’s body, eyes scanning before realizing Viktor was sitting upon wet bedding still. “Oh Janna, Vik!”
“It’s okay.” Viktor wasn’t sure if he was reassuring himself or Jayce. “It just happened. I had another false contraction—oh. Ah, maybe it wasn’t false.”
The color was returning to Jayce’s face, his cheeks now flushing in nervous excitement. “Oh my gods. You’re in labor. You’ve been in labor?!”
Viktor swallowed and nodded, his chest fluttering at the thought. Hours of what he thought were irregular false contractions, only to be the start of his actual labor. Perhaps his old habits of ignoring his physical state were harder to break than he thought.
Jayce noticed the way Viktor’s brows were drawn, the pinched look in his eyes that he always got when he was nervous, and realized it was time for him to fulfill the role the midwife had warned him of.
Staying calm.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Jayce said, reaching with his free hand to brush some of the hair out of Viktor’s face. He gave him an encouraging smile, swallowing down his own nervousness. “Are you in pain?”
“No,” Viktor answered immediately, shaking his head. He wet his lips. “Not more pain. My back still hurts, but nothing more. Yet.”
Jayce nodded, stroking his thumb over Viktor’s cheek as he cupped his jaw. “That’s good. Can we get you up? Let me get you in the bath and I’ll change the bed, okay?”
Viktor took a deep breath and nodded. It was uncomfortable sitting there, the bedding now turning cold on top of being wet. He knew Jayce didn’t care, but Viktor couldn’t help but feel a bit mortified by the mess. “I’m sorry—“
“Do not be sorry,” Jayce said firmly, holding Viktor’s jaw a little tighter. “Don’t worry about me, okay baby? We’re gonna focus on you and what you need. How many times have I had to change the sheets because of how much I sweat?”
Viktor’s lips quirked, knowing Jayce was right. During the summer, it was downright unbearable to share a bed with him sometimes, not that it ever kept Viktor away. “You don’t leave a puddle.”
“That’s debatable. And my sweating isn’t the precursor to a baby.” Jayce’s smile grew even wider, giddiness winning out over nerves. “We’re having a baby.”
Viktor’s own anxiety was momentarily quelled in the face of Jayce’s excitement. He smiled a little more, leaning into Jayce’s hand. “I suppose you were right then. About the baby dropping.”
Jayce chuckled, leaning in to kiss Viktor gently. “What’d I tell you? Father’s intuition.” he replied with a confidence he didn’t feel.
Jayce helped Viktor stand up, the latter flushing in embarrassment as more amniotic fluid trickled down his thighs and dripped onto the hardwood floors. Jayce didn’t comment on it, but mentally was keeping track now that Viktor’s labor had truly begun. A big rush of fluid already it seemed with the first initial break, and more yet. How much would he lose? Would it get lessen as labor continued? Jayce suddenly realized he had a hundred questions that never occurred to him, and needed an expert to answer them.
“It’s too soon for the midwife,” Viktor said, seeing the look in Jayce’s eye. “You remember what she said before. My waters breaking is just a sign of labor—only the contractions will tell how long we have.”
“I know,” Jayce replied as he supported Viktor as he climbed into the tub, the steam of the water making the air a bit thick. “Maybe I should get her anyways, though. Just to check on you.”
Viktor shook his head as he settled down into sitting in the tub, sighing as the hot water rose up to his chest. He looked up at Jayce, not letting go of his hand yet. “In a bit. Just stay with me?”
How many times had Viktor ignored Jayce’s concerns in their old lives? How many times had he sat through agonizing pain, as his lungs withered and his muscles wasted, only to brush away Jayce’s affection and deep desire to help? Back then, Viktor hadn’t ever wanted to appear weak in front of Jayce, afraid that doing so would diminish Jayce’s perception of him, both as a person and as a lab partner—just the same as the rest of Piltover would have treated him. Of course he knew it wasn’t true, but in the past, the voices inside that insisted otherwise had been stronger than truth.
But now—Viktor just wanted Jayce. Labor didn’t hurt quite yet, more uncomfortable than anything. But knowing that it would be getting worse, that this was the calm before the storm of bringing their child into this world, all Viktor could think was that he never wanted to be alone and in pain again.
Jayce’s face softened even more, smiling lovingly as he lowered himself to sit down next to the bathtub, still not letting go of Viktor’s hand. “Of course, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
Viktor stayed in the bath until the water began to cool before Jayce helped him back out. He’d had another bout of contractions in that time, coming just over 15 minutes after the previous. That one had started to pass the point of uncomfortable at its peak, a sharp pain that radiated across his belly and made him wince through it. His lower back hadn’t stopped aching despite the warm bath, and so Viktor decided on just wearing his dressing gown for comfort’s sake, knowing Jayce’s hands would be hard at work massaging him over the coming hours.
Jayce dressed quickly, donning a simple green tunic and grey trousers. Viktor sat on the now clean bed, face creased as another contraction rolled over him, not stronger yet but certainly uncomfortable.
Sitting behind Viktor, Jayce brushed his hair back slowly, letting the teeth of the comb gently move through the damp waves. Viktor breathed deeply as Jayce repeated the motion, moving from root to tip as he steadily worked through all of Viktor’s hair.
“You’re so beautiful,” Jayce murmured as his warm fingers tucked a wispy hair behind Viktor’s ear. “Such gorgeous hair.”
Viktor breathed a little laugh, keeping his eyes closed under the soothing ministrations. “Do you like me keeping it long?”
“Mm,” Jayce hummed thoughtfully, using one hand to cradle the nape of Viktor’s neck, gently squeezing. “I like anything you do. Any way you want to have your hair. Long just means I get more of you.”
Viktor thinned his lips, holding back a smile. Leave it to Jayce to still find a way to fluster him.
“I like your hair long too,” Viktor replied, cracking open an eye. He craned his head back a little more, until he could just barely see Jayce. “And the beard.”
“Well, I know you like that.” Jayce laughed warmly as he continued to brush. How many times had Jayce woken to the feeling of Viktor’s long fingers running gently over his beard, fingernails just barely scratching, and then pretended to keep sleeping just so it wouldn’t end?
Viktor smiled a little wider, then the expression dropped as another contraction hit. He exhaled slowly, the painful cramping sensation radiating deep out of his pelvis and into his lower back and thighs, his belly turning rock hard as his uterus squeezed.
“You got it,” Jayce murmured, eyes flickering to the clock on the dresser. Still just about 15 minutes since the previous one. He didn’t speak again until Viktor relaxed some, heaving a low breath as the pressure finally abated. “Worse or the same?”
“About the same.” Viktor mumbled, his eyes having closed again. Jayce nodded, lips pursing in thought.
“About the same amount of time since the last one too.” he commented, mentally reassuring himself that it was normal. It wasn’t that he wanted Viktor to have a fast labor, as he’d been bluntly informed by several of the older women in the marketplace that such a thing wasn’t necessarily a blessing (oh, and how they made sure to tell him of tearing and bleeding and possible injuries to the baby) but he hated seeing Viktor in pain. He’d hated it before when Viktor was sick and he’d felt powerless, and he hated it now too. Only this time, it came with a side of foolish guilt. After all, it was technically him who had caused all of this.
“That’s good,” Viktor replied, focused on relaxing again. “We have time then.”
Jayce gnawed at his lip as he went back to brushing Viktor’s hair, mind racing. Time indeed. Perhaps he’d listened to too many horror stories, but all he could think of was Viktor in labor for days, agonized and restless, able to do nothing but brace himself through each rippling contraction and hope and pray for relief to come soon, for the baby to be alright—
“Can I braid your hair?”
Jayce was determined to stay calm and steady through this. It was the least of what Viktor deserved from him, and by Janna, Jayce was going to make sure he was the best husband and birth partner on this side of Runeterra throughout the labor.
That being said, he needed a way out of his own head and fast. Working with his hands, even if his current material of choice was the silky soft strands of Viktor’s hair rather than the unforgiving hardness of metal, was always a good start.
“Would you? I’d like that. I won’t have to worry about it being in my face.” Viktor replied, letting out a soft sigh as Jayce began to use his hands, rather than the comb, to start parting Viktor’s hair.
With Viktor’s hair still damp, it was easy to separate the sections, deft fingers beginning to slowly work. He could braid quickly if he needed to, having learned how to as a child from early mornings of watching his mother do it to her own hair, and then insisting on becoming a pro at it himself.
But now, he was content to take his time with it, and Jayce could tell Viktor was enjoying it too, if the way he let out little hums was anything to go by. Jayce wove the sections back and forth, passing over and over again and lovingly working the water darkened strands into a neat, but not tight, braid. He smoothed his hands over Viktor’s neck, thumbs tracing over the soft baby hairs at the base of Viktor’s skull, and He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the soft skin behind his ear.
“I love you,” Jayce whispered, because he couldn’t bear not to say it. “So proud of you, Viktor. Do you know that?”
Viktor let out another hum, soft and almost embarrassed. “Jayce.”
“I’m sorry,” Jayce lied tenderly. “I just…”
He kissed behind Viktor’s ear again, lingering to press his forehead against Viktor’s head. He didn’t speak for a long moment, struggling to find words that could even express a shred of the depth of his devotion. But Viktor took pity on Jayce, and shifted more towards him, leaning in to rest his side against Jayce’s chest. Jayce immediately wrapped his arms around Viktor, burying his nose into the crown of Viktor’s head and inhaling deeply.
“I know,” Viktor murmured, kissing gently at the curve of Jayce’s throat. “I love you too, Jayce.”
Jayce blinked a few times, willing himself not to become so weepy. What was he doing, acting like such a wimp when Viktor was the one in actual labor? He swallowed hard, letting the soul-aching love he held squeeze at his heart and tighten his chest for a moment before exhaling and letting the tension unravel.
Jayce relaxed his arms, giving Viktor’s temple a kiss. “How do you feel? Need anything?”
Viktor shook his head, sitting back up fully and smoothing a hand over his belly. He was sure another contraction wouldn’t be far behind. “It’s not too bad. Painful yes, but mostly just at the peak.”
Viktor looked over at the window, taking in the grey morning sun. Yesterday had been cold but beautiful, but today seemed quite drab. Perhaps another snowstorm was on the way. “I suppose I’ll try to take a nap. You should too.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine.” Jayce immediately shook his head. He shifted on the bed, moving so they could look at each other easier. He gave Viktor a lopsided smile. “I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping again until the baby is here.”
Viktor returned the smile, reaching out to gently pull on a mostly dry section of Jayce’s hair. “You won’t be sleeping when the baby is here either.”
Jayce simply grinned, unperturbed. “Hey, we’ve waited long enough to meet her. You think I’m going to waste my time sleeping?”
“I’d hardly call sleeping a waste.” Viktor replied dryly, smoothing down the hair he’d pulled on. Viktor knew that Jayce would be refusing sleep simply because he wanted to be awake for anything Viktor could possibly need; he’d run himself ragged to give Viktor a modicum of comfort.
“Not for you, no,” Jayce agreed, stealing a quick kiss to the inside of Viktor’s wrist. “Okay, how about this? You lay down, get some rest. I’ll run out to town and let Alma know your waters broke and I’ll see if the sweet buns are ready at the bakery?”
Viktor had to admit, Jayce made a strong argument.
“Then you come home and nap,” Viktor said firmly, he and Jayce both moving so Viktor could get under the duvet. Jayce fussed about, making sure the blanket was high enough and Viktor had his pillows arranged just right.
“Whatever you want,” Jayce promised tenderly, pressing a kiss to Viktor’s forehead. He double checked the fire, making sure Viktor wouldn’t have to get out of bed to tend to it while Jayce was gone, before coming back to the bed to give him one last kiss. “Want anything else?”
“No, thank you.” Viktor hummed as Jayce’s lips pulled away from him, the comforting weight of the duvet and warmth of the fire already helping to lull Viktor. “Take the money for the buns from my coin purse.”
“You’re really funny, Viktor. Have I told you that before?”
Viktor smiled, heart flipping with the feeling of a schoolboy crush that Jayce always invoked. He knew Jayce would never take his money outright, but that didn’t stop him from offering. Nor did it stop him from topping off Jayce’s own coin purse when the man was foolish enough to leave it in plain sight.
“You’ve said it once or twice,” Viktor replied, giving Jayce’s bicep a squeeze as he finally pulled back. “Have fun.”
Jayce’s lips quirked in a crooked smile; have fun telling the midwife and the baker and anyone else who tried to strike up a conversation with Jayce that Viktor was in labor?
Oh yes, he certainly would.
“Get some sleep.” Jayce moved over to the doorway, giving Viktor one last glance. Jayce’s eyes shone with affection and the hint of nerves he could not squash down. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Jayce.”
And then he was gone, and Viktor snuggled deeper into his pillow and willed a bit of sleep to come to him.
Astoundingly, Viktor did manage some sleep, with intermittent moments of waking when a contraction reached its peak before he slid back into unconsciousness. It wasn’t the best sleep of his life, but it was rest nevertheless. He wasn’t sure when Jayce came back, but when Viktor finally fully awoke, the contractions too strong and frequent to half doze through, he could hear the sound of Jayce’s voice, along with Alma, the midwife.
Viktor found them in the kitchen, coffee brewed and the sweet buns laid out on a plate.
“Viktor!” Jayce all but jumped up, his eyes quickly scanning over Viktor to make sure he was no worse for wear after his nap. “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“Mm, I’m alright. Hello Alma.” Viktor gave a tired smile to the midwife as Jayce came around to Viktor’s side, hand settling on Viktor’s lower back.
“Hello Viktor,” Alma replied, returning the smile.Her own gaze roamed over him, no doubt assessing his condition. “Jayce said you were sleeping. Restless this morning?”
“When I woke up hardly constituted as morning,” Viktor replied, shuffling closer to the table and reaching for one of the sweet buns. He sighed happily as the taste of honeyed dough and cinnamon melted across his tongue. “But yes. I thought it was just false contractions and discomfort keeping me awake.”
“I can’t tell if you’re foolish or incredibly tough for mistaking the start of labor for false contractions,” Alma teased gently, her hazel eyes alight. “And how are the contractions now? Jayce told me before you fell asleep they were coming every 15 minutes or so.”
“Ah, um,” Viktor took another bite of his sweet bun. “I had one a few minutes ago. It is not so bad yet, but I don’t think I can sleep anymore.”
Alma nodded, kind face creasing slightly with sympathy. “You’ve been at it for hours now, I would not be surprised if you’re on the cusp of the next phase.”
“How long does he have then?” Jayce asked, tone edged with worry. Viktor gave him a reassuring look, though Viktor had to admit, he was just as curious.
“There’s no way to know for certain,” Alma replied gently, well used to the nerves of first-time parents. “You seem to be progressing nicely in any case from what you’ve told me. I can do a quick check on your progress and see how dilated you are.”
Viktor took another bite of his sweet bun, licking his lips before nodding. He opened his mouth to respond when he felt the tightness creep across his lower belly again. Viktor inhaled sharply, letting out a soft groan as his uterus contracted, squeezing with a pressure that rapidly turned sharp.
“Oh Viktor.” Jayce murmured in worry as he watched Viktor’s expression turn to thinly-veiled pain. Viktor closed his eyes and focused on breathing, waiting for it to abate. How a contraction lasted less than a minute yet felt so agonizingly long was beyond Viktor.
“Strong one?” Alma asked, rising from her own chair. Her hands were warm as they settled on Viktor’s belly, gently feeling.
“Yes,” Viktor breathed, exhaling through his nose until the pressure finally began to ease, a slow trickle of relief until his muscles relaxed entirely. He sighed, taking a few deep breaths. “The past few have felt like that.”
Alma nodded, her eyes narrowing slightly in thought. “They seem to be coming just over every 5 minutes then, hm?”
“About that, if he had one before he came out here.” Jayce agreed, rubbing his palm over Viktor’s lower back. Viktor pushed back against it, the external pressure a soothing sensation.
“Let’s get you checked then, hm? Finish your snack, you should eat now while you have the appetite,” Alma said encouragingly, giving Viktor a smile. “Let me wash my hands up and you can go get settled in bed.”
Viktor nodded, returning the expression, though it was muted by anxiety. Just from the way Alma was speaking Viktor was certain she was going to tell him he was moving into the next phase— which meant an increase in pain.
Viktor grabbed his half eaten sweet bun and trudged back towards their bedroom, Jayce’s hand not leaving his lower back once. He could feel the nerves radiating off of Jayce as well, no doubt feeling powerless in the face of Viktor in pain.
“Did you sleep okay at least?” Jayce as softly as he smoothed down the covers so Viktor could sit back against the pillows easily. “You were out for probably an hour or so.”
Viktor gave a little shrug, groaning as he settled back onto the bed. “Some of the contractions woke me up, but it wasn’t bad at first. Definitely getting more intense now.” He popped the rest of the sweet bun into his mouth before licking his fingers clean.
Jayce sat on the edge of the bed, smiling softly but nervously. “You’re progressing at least. That’s a good thing, right?”He reached out and fiddled with some of Viktor’s hair that had come undone from the braid he’d done earlier. Viktor tilted his head and let out a little breath as Jayce’s knuckles brushed over his cheekbone.
“Good and bad,” Viktor mumbled. “I’m excited to not be pregnant anymore but… I still feel so unprepared.”
Jayce nodded, expression turning sympathetic. “Yeah,” he replied softly. “Me too, baby. Unprepared to help, that is. I wish I could do more, so you didn’t have to be in pain.”
Viktor gave Jayce a small smile, reaching out to take his hand and settle it on the swell of his belly. “Eh, no pain, no gain right?”
“Janna, you’re so cute,” Jayce groaned, leaning in to press his forehead to Viktor’s. “Yeah, no pain, no gain.”
Having his progress checked by the midwife was just as uncomfortable as Viktor had been expecting. With how tight and sensitive all of his muscles felt, he ended up white-knuckling though it, squeezing on Jayce’s hand hard enough to make the bones in his hand creak.
“You’re about halfway there,” Alma said kindly, showing them with her two fingers how much Viktor had dilated. Viktor nodded, relieved to know he was that far along while Jayce’s eyes widened.
“How much longer?” He asked again, flexing the hand Viktor had been holding. Alma gave Jayce a fond but firm look.
“We can’t put a time restraint on these things,” he reminded him gently. Alma didn’t mind the constant questioning from Jayce, knowing it was born solely from concern for Viktor’s comfort, and not impatience like some of the other men in the village. “But all things considered, you’re progressing steadily. That’s what’s important here.”
Viktor took the answer with as much understanding as he could. Progress was good. Progress meant inching towards the finish line, even if the journey there was filled with the sensation of his entire abdomen and pelvis seemingly turning inwards on itself.
Jayce didn’t look as comforted, but he didn’t speak up. He knew his job now was to support Viktor in every way he could, and that meant swallowing down his own fears for the sake of keeping Viktor as calm as possible.
Alma took the time to show them a few things Jayce could do in the coming hours. Massages and squeezing holds for various parts of Viktor’s body, positions to stand, squat, sit in, and suggestions for ways for Viktor to distract himself. Anything to keep his body moving, and to wait it all out.
The dreary grey sky had opened up with more than just flurries somewhere along the way as Alma prepared to temporarily leave them. As it turned out, Viktor wasn’t the only one in labor that day. One of the local women had begun having contractions just a few hours prior, but had been seen by Alma already who seemed assured she would not deliver until after Viktor.
Alma left with the promise to return in two hours time, unless there was an emergency, in which case Jayce would send one of the neighbors for her immediately. The cold wind outside swirled in through the open door as Alma left, and snowflakes quickly melted where they settled on the runner in the entryway as the door closed behind her.
Viktor had migrated into the living room, holding onto the couch as another contraction hit. He tipped his head forward, swaying his hips and focusing on breathing through the worst of it. Waiting for the pain to abate wasn’t so dissimilar from when he would get muscle spasms in his leg, but Viktor didn’t have the luxury of Piltover’s numerous pharmacists and their prescriptions to get him through the pain now.
He was used to pain in his leg, could pick it apart until he was laser focused on the exact muscle group, the exact fibers that wound themselves to stone and didn’t let go for minutes at a time. But labor was different. He wasn’t used to the contractions that seemed to consume his entire abdomen, his lower back, pelvis, the tension inching up right into his jaw as he clenched through it. He knew there would be no prescription painkillers waiting for him as soon as the worst of the pain passed, which would allow him enough reprieve to focus his brain on anything else but his failing body.
His body was not failing him now. It was working overtime, had been for months, growing a new life within him that had finally reached its full potential and was ready to separate itself from the security of Viktor’s womb. This pain was a necessity, not because he was cursed with ill health, but because he was blessed with a second chance in life and the love of his husband.
It still fucking hurt though.
“Almost there, Vik.” Jayce murmured, coming up behind Viktor. His hands settled on Viktor’s hips, strong thumbs pressing in on his sacrum and applying gentle pressure as he worked them in a circular motion. Jayce mentally counted the seconds as they passed, 10, 20, 30, until it eased just before one minute had passed.
Jayce kissed the back of Viktor’s neck, inhaling the clean scent of his shampoo and letting his chest fill with Viktor’s presence.
“Almost there is an overstatement, don’t you think?” Viktor murmured, breathing out slowly. In between contractions was practically painless compared to the peak, giving him a few minutes of respite to gather his wits before the next one hit. Jayce continued to massage his lower back, maintaining the steady pressure.
“Well…” Jayce trailed off, trying to find the words to encourage without being dismissive. “…About halfway there?”
Thankfully, it pulled a huffed laugh from Viktor’s lips and he nodded. “About halfway. Yes, yes, that’s true.”
Jayce let out a silent sigh of relief, glad his reassurances had landed. He kept massaging Viktor’s back until Viktor shifted positions, straightening back up. Still holding onto the back of the couch, Viktor rubbed at his belly as if he could soothe the next contraction awaiting him. Jayce moved closer and began to squeeze and knead at Viktor’s shoulders, hoping to dissolve some of the tension that had gathered there. Viktor sighed, his eyes fluttering shut as Jayce’s strong, assured hands worked their magic.
“Feels good?” he murmured, kissing the crown of Viktor’s head. Viktor nodded, taking slow, deep breaths.
“Always does,” he replied. Viktor’s eyes opened again and he looked forward towards one of the living room windows, snow beginning to gather on the corners of the window panes. “If I’d known it was going to snow, I would’ve gone to the market yesterday.”
Jayce clicked his tongue. “We have plenty to last until tomorrow. For all we know, the walk to the market would’ve ended up inducing your labor. I’m glad you were home.”
“Pity,” Viktor hummed, rolling his shoulders slightly under Jayce’s grip. “I missed the chance to create a spectacle and have my water break by the vegetable stands.”
Jayce snorted, mouth twisting into a wry smile. His heart fluttered, immeasurably pleased to hear Viktor joking despite the pain of labor. “Your water can break wherever you want with the next one.”
“Next one!” Viktor let out a little laugh. “We don’t technically have this one yet.”
Jayce’s smile stretched into a grin as he gave Viktor’s shoulders a firm squeeze. “If I remember correctly, someone told me he’d have aaaaall the babies I want to give him—“
“The man who inhabits your bed is a frightful creature of passion,” Viktor replied, his cheeks flushing a little. Jayce certainly wasn’t lying about Viktor having said such a thing. Multiple times, in fact. “It’d do us both some good not to listen to him.”
Jayce laughed and leaned his head down to kiss behind Viktor’s ear. “Mm, but he always sounds so sweet. How can I resist?”
“You cannot seriously be worked up right now.” Viktor twisted his head back to look at Jayce with playful incredulity. Jayce pursed his lips.
“I’m not worked up right now,” Jayce replied before ducking his head to steal a proper, if quick, kiss. “But it’s hard not to be when I’m around you. Or when I’m not around you too, if we’re being honest—“
Viktor laughed again, shaking his head fondly. His smile flickered and morphed into a wince as he felt the now familiar tightening of another contraction taking hold. “Aah—“
“You got this.” Jayce murmured, thumbs pressing into the base of Viktor’s neck and massaging gently, moving up towards the base of his skull as the wave of the contraction made Viktor’s whole body tighten. Jayce inhaled slowly and deliberately through his nose, loud enough to help guide Viktor in his own breathing, before exhaling along with him.
Viktor’s own breath was more hissed as he fought not to clench his jaw, Viktor’s hand digging into the back of the couch as the contraction reached its peak. It truly did feel like a wave, building higher and higher until Viktor swore it would replace the air in his lungs with only the sensation of squeezing. He let out a low moan, this particular contraction worse than the prior one.
Jayce frowned, picking up on the more outward signs of pain that Viktor was unable to hold back. He knew it would only get more intense from here on out, and it made Jayce’s skin crawl a bit to think of it. He swallowed before inhaling deliberately again, continuing to do so until Viktor fell back into rhythm with him.
Once it finally passed, Jayce kissed the crown of Viktor’s head again, then placed one more at the back of his neck, a little damp with sweat.
“Wanna walk around a little?” Jayce asked, remembering that Alma had stressed the importance of keeping Viktor moving as long as his leg could handle it. Viktor nodded, exhaling again as he let go of the couch and instead took Jayce’s arm, leaning his head against his shoulder.
An hour passed, then two, and two began to edge into three.
The snow outside came down in hefty sheets that swirled in the heavy wind, blanketing the world in pearly white as the skies turned a darker grey.
There was no sign of the midwife.
With Jayce’s help, Viktor had kept himself moving as much as he could over the past two hours, opting to wear his leg brace to help with the strain of moving so much. They’d tried different positions, sitting, kneeling, squatting. Warm cloths against his lower back and cool ones on the back of his neck and forehead, Jayce’s steady hands roaming and trying to apply counter pressure and massage out the tension anywhere he could.
But there was only so much they could do besides wait as Viktor’s labor continued on steadily. The contractions increased in both frequency and intensity, inching closer together until they were hardly minutes apart.
Jayce and Viktor had moved back into their bedroom, the fire stoked, keeping the room warm against the swirling winter winds outside.
“Jayce,” Viktor moaned, pressing his sweaty forehead into Jayce’s clavicle. His nails dug into Jayce’s shoulders, squeezing ever tighter as another contraction washed over him without fail, stealing his breath away. Viktor grit his teeth so hard his neck ached, hissing out in agony.
“Breathe, baby,” Jayce encouraged, ignoring his own urge to wince as Viktor’s nails scratched into his skin. “C’mon Vik, breathe with me. You can do this.”
Viktor let out a shuddering breath, almost quaking as he struggled through it. He turned his face so that his temple rested against Jayce’s chest and let the beat of Jayce’s heart pound against his skull as he tried to ground himself. He whimpered at the peak of the contraction’s intensity, breaking out into a cold sweat.
“Let it out.” Jayce whispered, combing through Viktor’s hair and kissing the top of his head. Jayce never shushed Viktor, remembering the advice of one of the older ladies in town; that his job wasn’t to soothe, but to be steady and follow Viktor’s cues.
Viktor moaned again as the contraction winded down, knowing the relief would be fleeting. He pushed his forehead into Jayce’s chest, swallowing hard.
“I don’t feel well.” Viktor whined helplessly, squeezing his eyes shut. Jayce looked down at him, brows creasing in concern.
“Don’t feel well how? Like nauseous?”
“Mm.” Viktor groaned, his hands trembling as he gripped Jayce’s shoulders tighter. “Need—I need to lay down.”
“Okay, okay, I got you.” Jayce gently but quickly moved Viktor over towards the bed. He helped him onto it, rearranging their pillows into a stack for Viktor to drape his upper body onto. Viktor all but collapsed onto it, forehead clammy as he tried to swallow down the bile in his throat. “I’m gonna get you a cool cloth, okay? I’ll be right back.” Jayce murmured, rubbing his hand over Viktor’s back. Viktor merely gave a low groan in reply.
Jayce quickly refilled the small basin with cold water, grabbing another clean washcloth from the cabinet. He looked over at the bathroom’s small window as a gust of wind howled past, rattling at the panes as it went. A pit opened up in Jayce’s stomach, the cold feeling of unease prickling up the back of his neck. Even after all these years, the mere sounds of a frigid winter storm could be enough to put him on edge.
He wondered if it was the storm keeping Alma from making it back to them like she’d promised; while it wasn’t dark out quite yet, the snow was coming down heavily, and Jayce knew all too well how quickly visibility faded when the snow began to grow thick in the air. His chest tightened as he thought about the possibility of Alma outside, trying to make her way back to the cottage. It wasn’t far, and the path was marked, but anything could happen—
Jayce shook his head. No, he couldn’t focus on that right now. He had to think positively, remain calm and collected for Viktor’s sake. She would arrive soon, and she would guide Viktor through the rest of labor, and they would hold their baby in their arms before long.
Viktor was groaning a high, pained noise as Jayce came back in, his hands fisted so tightly in the pillow he was shaking. Jayce quickly set the basin of water down on the bedside table and dipped the cloth in it, wringing it out before putting it on the back of Viktor’s neck.
“Jayce…” Viktor’s voice was tight and weak, muffled in the pillow. Jayce rubbed the heel of his palm between Viktor’s shoulder blades as Viktor rode out the current contraction.
“I’m here sweetheart, I’m here. You’re doing so, so good.” Jayce murmured, voice steady despite the way his guts churned with anxiety. The contraction finally abated but Viktor’s trembling did not. He turned his face from being buried in the pillow to look at Jayce, and the sight made Jayce’s heart ache.
Viktor’s eyes were filled with tears, hair sticking to his sweat damp temples. He looked so unbearably fragile that Jayce wanted to be sick himself.
“Jayce,” Viktor whimpered, his voice thick. “We—we need Alma. Where is she?”
“She’ll be here soon Viktor, she probably just got a bit delayed,” Jayce replied, kneeling down at the side of the bed. He took Viktor’s trembling hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, giving a reassuring squeeze. Viktor’s lip trembled, making Jayce’s stomach turn.
“Someone needs to get her.” he pleaded, golden brown eyes swimming and threatening to spill over. “We need her Jayce, I can’t do this, I can’t do it—“
“Vik, Viktor baby, take a breath,” Jayce pressed, trying to stall the edge of panic that was working its way into Viktor’s tone. Viktor inhaled and exhaled with a shudder, blinking hard and letting a few fat tears roll down his cheeks. Jayce’s chest felt like it was being ripped open right at the sternum as he reached out with his other hand to wipe them away with his thumb.
“It’s snowing out hard right now,” Jayce said gently, pushing down his own anxiety. “That might be why she’s late. I’m sure she’s on her way, but I can go and try to find her—“
“No! No, don’t go!“ Viktor squeezed Jayce’s hand again, more tears trickling down his cheeks. Jayce’s throat felt hollow, a vortex of anxiety opening up into the pit of his stomach. “Jayce—“
“Hey, hey, I’m not gonna leave you,” Jayce murmured urgently, kissing Viktor’s hand again. “I’m not going anywhere Viktor, only where you tell me to.”
Viktor sniffled, his lip trembling again. His voice was swallowed up by his body tightening as he felt the next contraction creep in.
“I’m scared Jayce.” Viktor croaked, high and wispy as candle flame.
“I know, baby.” Jayce’s voice nearly cracked under the weight of their joint fears. Gods, he knew. The nights where he’d have horrible dreams of losing Viktor in birth, of losing the baby, losing them both. Of Viktor bleeding out and growing pale and limp in his arms, of their baby entering the world mangled by the arcane, a final dose of retribution for their past. Jayce feared his own inadequacy in the face of Viktor’s suffering, rehashing watching Viktor waste away due to illness over the course of seven years and cursing himself for the umpteenth time for not spending that time worshipping the only man who could ever capture his soul.
Jayce was terrified. So he did what he did best in the face of terror, of uncertainty. He put on his brave face, swallowed down his anxiety, and forced himself to stay steady.
“It’s okay to be scared,” he said firmly, letting Viktor squeeze his hand as hard as he needed to as the contraction ramped up. “You are so brave, and you are so strong, and I am so proud of you. This—this is scary. But you’re doing it, and I am proud of you. I’m not going anywhere, Viktor. Just you and me and our baby. That’s all that matters.”
Viktor sobbed, gritting his teeth and keening in agony as the contraction reached its peak. He shook his head, so overwhelmed his mouth watered with bile. The pressure and the squeezing was constant, a turbulent wave of pain as he fought the urge to all but fold in on himself, his muscles spasming and working without his control.
When it finally passed, Viktor let out a low groan that wavered with tears. He began swaying his hips as much as he could, trying desperately to keep moving the way he was supposed to. Jayce’s stomach was in knots as he watched Viktor continue to tremble.
“Are you cold?” Jayce asked, despite knowing the room was quite warm with the fire crackled in the hearth. He moved to apply counter pressure to Viktor’s hips, hoping to ease the next contraction. Viktor shook his head, drawing in a ragged breath.
“N-Nooo—“ Viktor moaned, pushing back against Jayce’s hands. “No, I can’t…I can’t stop it—“
“That’s okay, it doesn’t need to stop,” Jayce assured, ignoring the sharp pang of sympathetic discomfort in his own gut. “I just—just wanna take care of you.”
Viktor could only answer with a low, long whine, still trying to calm himself. Jayce pressed harder against Viktor’s hips, squeezing until he was sure it must’ve hurt, but the counterpressure did seem to ease Viktor somehow. As Viktor fought to breathe calmly, Jayce mentally kept track of Viktor’s contractions. They were scarcely minutes apart by now, and by the state Viktor was in physically and emotionally, Jayce was very quickly coming to a terrifying realization.
They were going to have to deliver the baby without a midwife.
Jayce didn’t voice that out loud yet, throat clogged by his own heart as Viktor’s body tensed up as another contraction began. He only murmured soothing words and reassurances, moving his own body in time with Viktor’s, trying to be as steady and sure as he could manage.
Jayce had some idea of what the birth would entail. His morbid curiosity and desperation to be the perfect husband throughout Viktor’s pregnancy and beyond had led him to listen to ask Alma enough questions to fill multiple afternoons, not to mention the stories he’d heard from others. He knew the contractions would get closer and closer, until there was hardly a break. He knew that Viktor would have to push, and he was supposed to encourage him but not be overbearing. And he knew that once the baby was born, there would be the matter of the cord, and then the afterbirth and—
“Jayce—“ Viktor’s voice, shaky and far more frantic than before, broke Jayce from his reprieve.
“I’m here Viktor, I’m here,” Jayce said, moving with Viktor as he tried to change positions. “What can I do?”
“Jayce—“ Viktor was beginning to pant, his eyes swimming with tears again. “Oh Janna—Jayce, I don’t think—I can’t wait—“
Despite his resolve to be brave, dread prickled ice cold down Jayce’s spine, and for a moment, he considered throwing up.
“Okay,” Jayce replied, holding Viktor steady as the other man moved to be kneeling upright, taking solace in Jayce’s arms. Viktor buried his face against Jayce’s shoulder, quaking as he began to cry again. “It’s okay baby, I got you. We can do this, okay? Your body is made to do this, it’s going to be okay.”
Viktor’s nails dug into Jayce’s arms as he moaned, “It doesn’t feel okay.”
Jayce swallowed around the lump in his throat as he pressed kiss after kiss to Viktor’s sweat damp hair. He was saved from his own lead tongue by Viktor letting out another hissed groan, tremors wracking his body as the cycle of labor continued on without hesitation.
When the next contraction passed, Jayce pressed another firm kiss to Viktor’s head. “I’m gonna grab towels, a-and some hot water, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”
“Mm.” Viktor gave a jerky nod, his bottom lip trembling slightly. With Jayce’s help, he shifted again, until he was laying on his side. Viktor buried his face in one of their pillows, breathing and groaning low on each exhale.
Jayce went as quickly as he could with gathering the needed supplies. His brain raced as he tried to remember all the little details he’d mentally collected over the past 9 months, cataloging everything that had seemed useful at the time.
Hot water, it should be boiled and sanitized but that will take too long. As hot as the tap goes it is then. What is the hot water for again? To clean, to soothe? Towels, to help with the mess and to keep Viktor and the baby comfortable. Something to tie and cut the umbilical cord with—twine to tie, but what to cut with? A knife? The kitchen shears? Viktor will kill me if I ruin those. Can I bring a blade to the flesh of my husband, to the flesh of my child?
“Jayce.” Viktor whimpered as Jayce reentered the bedroom, one hand pressed to his belly and his other arm wound tightly around the pillow under his head. Jayce set the bowl of hot water down on the bedside table and laid the towels down by the foot of the bed, close enough to reach but not in Viktor’s way. The twine and the kitchen shears went onto the last bit of space available on the nightstand, and Jayce settled in the only place he could ever belong, right at Viktor’s side.
“I’m here Viktor, I’m here baby.” he murmured, rubbing his hand firmly over Viktor’s sacral crest.
Outside, the storm continued on. Howling winds rattled at the windows and pressed snow over the glass until the room darkened and was illuminated only by the firelight. Filled with the guttural, instinctual sounds of Viktor weathering the height of his labor and Jayce’s soft reassurances in between, the world closed in on this one room, this one moment in time, standing on the precipice of everything in their lives changing once again.
No matter how much time passed, Viktor could recall the night he and Jayce cracked Hextech for the first time in perfect detail.
A slow build to a moment of clarity on how to stabilize the crystals, then the headfirst dive into the great unknown of actually doing it.
It wasn’t so dissimilar to his current predicament. Certainly just as stressful, only this time, their baby’s life hung in his hands, rather than his own reputation and position in Piltover. His mind had raced then and now, filled with burning questions—would it work, what will happen after, what have we created, can I do this, can I do this, can I do this—
The pain built and centered, the weight of their world bearing down on him and flaying him open with white hot agony. Jayce’s strong, warm hand held his leg up and open and his voice, low and thick with all the love one man could hold, coached him through every movement, every push, making up for every moment where Viktor had suffered alone. Viktor could do nothing but follow his body’s command, the inexplicable sensation of natural reflexes and instincts taking over and forcing him to be swept up in it.
Viktor couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, as it intensified even more. Feeling the baby crown was painful in a way he couldn’t describe, overwhelming in the most ferocious, fiery way possible. He was so close to the end and yet, he had never felt weaker, resolve sorely tested. Jayce urged him on, tender and earnest in a way Viktor couldn’t stand to disappoint.
He prayed to Janna, and to his own mother. Begged for the strength to make it through this, and apologized to his mother for the pain she must’ve felt giving birth to him, and for the first time in many years, he longed for her.
Viktor felt as if he might combust, his body falling inwards on itself like a collapsing star as he squeezed his eyes shut and felt a scream crawl up his throat and out. Building, building, until everything seemed to stop.
Viktor remembered those few heartstopping moments, where he had squeezed his eyes shut against the explosion of magical energy from the crystal. The breath knocked out of him, he had the inexplicable feeling of being weightless for the first time in his life. No leg dragging him down with a bone deep ache that permeated every part of his physicality. Viktor had had the fleeting notion that he was dead—what else could bring him a moment of reprieve from his natural state, if not the absence of it entirely?
But then he heard Jayce’s laugh. Jayce’s voice calling his name, urging him to look. And when he did, Viktor didn’t see the reality of the afterlife waiting for him, the long awaited answer to what would become of him after his already cursed body ceased to sustain him. Instead, Viktor saw the most brilliant light in Jayce’s face, an expression of pure, radiant happiness. He saw a future stretching in front of them, a new start in a way he could have only ever dreamed of.
Like that night, Jayce’s laugh met his ears once more.
Thick with tears but still blindingly joyous, he wept Viktor’s name like a prayer. Jayce’s voice washed over him just the way it had the night they harnessed the crystal, the power of the Arcane itself, only this time, it was now joined not by the crackle of magical energy, but something new. Something that could only be made by their hands.
The tiny, squalling cry that only a newborn could make.
Viktor opened his eyes.
Covered in blood and vernix, wrinkled and beet red in the face, was their baby girl. Her little mouth open as she let out indignant cries at having to take her first breaths, still connected to Viktor through the purple red tie of the umbilical cord. With a wet, matted burst of dark hair atop the crown of her head, she was the most breathtaking thing Viktor had ever seen.
“Viktor, you did it! Listen to her!” Jayce wept, frantic and awestruck. His broad hands engulfed their baby’s head and the tiny expanse of her back as she squirmed and drew in her first lungfuls of air.
Viktor finally sagged flat onto his back, panting raggedly as the pain seemed to leave him all at once, everything narrowing down to the pinhole sized vision of Jayce and their daughter. Jayce’s hands shook as he gently pressed the baby into Viktor’s arms, breathless yet still murmuring soft assurances while he reached for a clean towel, unfolding it and laying it over Viktor and the baby and gently patting away some of the mess.
Viktor couldn’t speak, his heart in his throat the same way it had been all those years ago. How could he utter anything, when beauty incarnate now lay in his arms, flushed and so much tinier than he expected, yet strong enough to have fought her way into the world.
So he did only what he could. He cried, smiling so wide it made his cheeks hurt as their daughter squalled against his chest, precious fingers curling against his skin. Jayce’s hand trembled almost uncontrollably as he reached out to drag a finger down over her damp hair and onto the curve of one fat cheek, another rough laugh escaping him.
“Oh Viktor. Oh my baby, I love you. I’m so proud of you.” Jayce’s voice shook as he pressed kiss after kiss to Viktor’s sweaty forehead. “You did it. Janna, look at her. She’s—“
“Beautiful,” Viktor finally managed to say, his own voice hoarse. He looked down at the baby as her raspy cries began to settle into little whimpers, the sweetest sound Viktor had ever heard. “Oh, you’re so beautiful.”
She looked like a strange, pink little alien, with an impossibly wrinkled face that was still scrunched with the indignity of surviving such an experience. But within a few moments of laying against Viktor’s chest, pressed against the familiar heartbeat she knew so well, the baby calmed enough that her eyes slowly blinked open. Dark as night and impossibly large, finally meeting the eyes of the little one who had been his most constant companion for nearly 40 weeks was like a punch to the gut. She looked at him, and Viktor felt a permanent space for her be carved right into his beating heart.
Viktor managed to tear his eyes away from her to look up at Jayce and was powerless to stop the onslaught of tears that welled up again. Jayce’s eyes were shining, his lips trembling despite the blinding smile on his face. “We did it,” Viktor’s voice trembled as he and Jayce shared teary, wobbly kisses. “We have a baby.”
“Yeah—“ Jayce’s voice cracked hard and he wept with a sound that was pulled straight from his soul. “Oh Viktor. She’s perfect. You made her perfect.”
Viktor could only stare down at their daughter, counting those five little fingers that curled around Jayce’s index finger when offered, with tiny fingernails the size of dewdrops and minuscule wrinkles at her knuckles.
Perfection wasn’t supposed to be achievable, Viktor had learned that lesson. He thought he had at least—that things were meant to change, meant to grow, falter or linger or inevitably fade away. Nothing was supposed to be perfect, because what then would drive a person forward?
But she, their daughter, so much smaller in his arms than he had expected, helpless yet unbelievably strong, covered in gunk but looking so beautiful—was perfect. A living, breathing conundrum that stole the breath from his lungs and locked his words up behind a smile that made his cheeks hurt with how long he held it.
This is what life was meant to be. All of it, leading towards this single point of blistering, incandescent happiness.
The midwife Alma finally reached them nearly an hour later, when the frigid winds outside no longer rattled the window panes but were still quick to slip in through the cracks. She was beside herself with regret, apologizing and explaining that the woman who’d gone into birth that morning had delivered unexpectedly fast and hard, and things had been touch and go.
Exhausted and blissfully content, Viktor could only find the energy to be happy that the other woman and her baby were safe, much too focused on his own precious bundle to fret over what could have been different.
Alma stayed for a few hours, checking over Viktor and the baby and helping Jayce to clean up and make their bedroom comfortable once again. Despite the way it had felt, Viktor’s delivery had gone off without a hitch, with only a minor tear to speak of that would heal itself. The baby was as healthy as could be, and Alma had no shortage of praise for Jayce’s role in keeping everyone safe despite it all.
By the time she left, it had stopped snowing and the moon was high in the sky, the untouched snow glittering pale blue and white. Viktor had eaten a light dinner, too tired to manage much else. After stoking the fire into a healthy roar, Jayce climbed onto the bed next to Viktor and the baby, who lay sleeping against Viktor’s chest.
Jayce slid under the covers next to Viktor, putting an arm around his shoulders and heaving a content sigh as Viktor leaned against his chest, tilting his head up for a slow, soft kiss before looking back down at their sleeping newborn.
“She smells so good,” Viktor whispered, his mouth curving into a delighted smile. “I always thought people were exaggerating about new baby smell.”
Jayce grinned, leaning his cheek against the top of Viktor’s head. “Guess it’s one of those things you don’t understand until you have one of your own.”
“Do you want to hold her?” Viktor asked, but Jayce shook his head.
“No, no, she looks comfy where she is. I’ll hold her later.” Jayce’s hand moved to brush over a downy soft lock of hair, then down to rest gently on the baby’s back, feeling the rise and fall of her breath. Jayce sighed again, a sound of pure awe. “I can’t stop looking at her. Gods V—you make such beautiful babies.”
Viktor laughed softly, his chest jumping with the sound. The movement jostled the baby slightly, who simply pursed her lips and twitched a hand before stilling again. “I think I had a little help with this one, no?”
Jayce turned his face to bury his smile against Viktor’s hair, kissing him. “I might recall helping a little.”
Viktor’s eyes drooped a little as he and Jayce both went quiet again, simply soaking in the warmth of each other’s embrace and the sweet little sounds of their daughter’s breathing.
“…We have to pick a name.” Viktor whispered after a few long moments, watching the way Jayce’s thumb smoothed over the baby’s back, her torso the size of his hand. Jayce hummed softly, nodding.
“We picked a couple,” Jayce murmured, his own eyelids heavy. “…I don’t think she looks like a Camila.”
“Mm, me either.” Viktor agreed, tilting his head to examine their daughter’s sleeping face. Dark eyelashes and the tiniest dusting of eyebrows, hidden under the lanugo that brushed over her skin. Little cupid’s bow lips over a fat little chin, and to Jayce’s delight, a tiny mole on the crease of one plump cheek, a mirror of Viktor’s own. “Helena?”
Jayce made a considering noise, thinking of the other names they had discussed. “Hm. Sofia?”
“Sofia,” Viktor echoed, testing the weight of the name on his tongue. Never had a task felt so monumental, saddling one who wasn’t even aware she was her own person with a name that would follow her through life. “Sofia Talis.”
Viktor could feel Jayce’s smile grow against the side of his head. “Sofia…I think I like that one.”
Viktor nodded, the sound of the name locking into place with a feeling of surety. He brushed his fingers over the curve of the baby’s head, feeling the wispy soft hair that was the same color as Jayce’s. Little bits of both of them mixed together seamlessly, features and coloring fitting together as if they had been destined to from the beginning. For a split second, Viktor wondered if any other version of him somewhere out there had gotten a chance to know bliss like this, or if he and Jayce and their daughter were simply an anomaly in the grand scheme of it all.
But then his own smile bloomed, and he could only focus on the timeline in front of him, brimming with a happiness he had always dreamed of. Viktor sunk more against Jayce’s side, a sense of peace settling deep in his bones.
“Hello, Sofia.” he whispered.