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"Promise you'll come to me, Dylan. I know how you are, and my life is not better without you in it, so promise you'll find me." Dylan opens his mouth to protest but gets interrupted. "Promise me." He says this time more firmly.
Dylan nods, "I promise."
To Dylan it feels weird being back in the familiar cafe acting like there isn't anyone he knows. Like his friends are not just around and about serving orders or in the corner laughing together.
"You're here again, stranger. Do you want your usual?" Pepper asks him with his usual bright smile and welcoming voice.
Dylan can't help but smile back at his ex-friend. Old friend? Acquaintance? What would you call a friend that has no recollection of you? "Yeah, the usual." He replies.
Once he gets his latte he walks to his usual table at the back, in perfect view of the door and the cafe where he can see all his friends interact without him. But it's different today, there is someone there already. Dylan contemplates moving to another table but it is a busy afternoon and most tables are occupied.
"You can sit here if you want," he smiles. It's just as warm as he remembers it to be. Of course the last time he saw that smile was just yesterday. The last time directed at him might have been a few months ago, though. "I know you usually sit here. I've noticed it before." He continues before looking briefly alarmed. "Not that I am stalking you. It's just that Pepper and Nano are my friends and I'm here almost every day. And since you’re also here almost every day it’s easy to remember a face."
"It's fine." he smiles and takes a seat. "I'm Dylan."
"Po,” He says, "I'm friends with Pepper and Nano who work here. And I already said that, sorry." He laughs awkwardly.
"It's fine." Dylan smiles again. "I know a thing or two about being awkward."
"Don't we all?" Po smiles.
It’s funny. Dylan can’t remember if he ever had a solo interaction with Po. There was always someone with them. They were never really close to each other, but they also knew more about each other than the average person would know about an acquaintance. For some reason, Dylan believes that they could have been really great friends despite being two introverts that don’t typically initiate conversations.
"I don't bite." Po says. "Not anymore, anyways. I had a phase when I was a kid. Maybe that's why I've always been Team Edward."
Dylan looks at him confused for a second before realising he had yet to sit down. "Sorry. Like I said, I know a thing or two about being awkward." He smiles. “Edward from Twilight right?” Po nods.
Dylan sits down and scrolls mindlessly on his phone, sipping on his latte every few minutes. He wants to make conversation. But this Po and this Dylan have nothing they could ever talk about and nothing they could ever bond over again. All the things they have in common relied on their shared group of friends.
Dylan wants Po back. Dylan wants all of his friends back. But most importantly, Dylan wants him back. Sitting at the corner of the cafe, in perfect view of Dylan’s eyesight, in a simple black t-shirt that hugged his biceps just the right way. Dylan once told him he looked beautiful in it, and it was one of his favourite t-shirts. He wonders if somehow in the back of his mind, the other boy unconsciously chose that t-shirt because of Dylan.
But he knows he didn’t. Dylan is not that delusional.
“You’re staring.” Po whispers.
“Hmm.” Dylan hums distractedly.
“You’re staring at him. Which I get why, but it is not the first time you do so and it’s starting to get a little creepy.”
“And you’re staring at me if you’ve noticed that I apparently stare.” Dylan deflects.
“Not apparently , you do stare.” Po smiles. “But to answer that, I do also stare at you. I do not know why but there is just something about you…” Po wants to say more. Dylan knows him enough to know this. “I don’t know what it is because we don’t seem like we have anything in common but there really is something about you.”
Dylan shrugs. “You’ve already said that.”
“I know.” Po says. “And I’ve also said that you keep staring but you still haven’t stopped.”
Dylan cannot help it. Yes, he does glance at the boy every few minutes. He is mesmerising no matter the moment of the day. His t-shirt contrasting beautifully with his tanner skin due to the sunny days. His brown hair looks soft as it lays on his forehead. Also, every time he looks at him, Dylan reminds himself of all the times he used to squish the boy’s cheeks between his hands and watch the latter pout with his lips puckered and the sound of Dylan’s name coming out of his mouth just to complain about how cold Dylan’s hands were. He never once removed it, no matter how often he would complain to him.
“He’s gorgeous,” he whispers. Mostly to himself, but he is sure Po has heard him.
“Yeah, he is.” Po smiles. “He’s my roommate.” Dylan looks at him confused. That’s new. He would never think Po would share a room with him. “Why do you look so confused as if that would never be possible?”
“Do I?” Dylan deflects from answering and Po does not push further.
“Yes you do. He is one of my roommates. I have three other housemates, but he is the one I share the room with. I can introduce you to him if you would like. I just don’t think you are his type.” Dylan laughs at that.
“Probably not.” He speaks.
“Well, I’ve got to go but I’ll see you around…”
“Dylan.”
“I’ll see around, Dylan.”
Dylan waves goodbye and stays observing the cafe. People watching, as that one song says. Or specific people watching.
He kisses him. It’s a tender, quick kiss that he’s had so many times before. The boy pouts at Dylan.
“Just one more.” He pleads sweetly. Rather, he whispers to him. Dylan just rolls his eyes at him but gives him one more chaste kiss.
It becomes a new routine. Going to the cafe and talking to Po for the days that he is there studying away from the group. It feels easier to talk to Po than it would to Pepper, who has been his rock through every stage in his life. To Thame, someone who he has known for just about a month or two short of a year, but with a comfort of a lifetime. To Nano, who came into his life so unexpectedly and before they both knew it they became each other’s support system. It feels easier than talking to the boy who knows him better than anyone and can read him better than anyone has ever done so. The boy that has been his person for so long. So, yes, Po is so much easier to talk to than the people who could break down every single wall he has put up in the unbearable months without them.
It is on a rainy and unreasonably warm day that he comes to the cafe later than his usual time that he sees more than just Po at his table. Po is there. Nano is there. He is also there. Po looks at him as soon as he enters and waves.
“Dylan, come sit.”
He waves and goes to order instead. He wants to keep his distance like he has been doing so far. But it is so tempting to just stand next to him, be close to him that Dylan can’t help himself but move forward. He has always been able to pull Dylan towards him at any time.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, you’re late today.”
“Yeah.” Dylan does not elaborate and thankfully Po does not ask him to.
“I know we’ve hijacked your table, but you weren’t here, and I got distracted talking to them. You don’t mind, right?” And was he supposed to reply negatively to that? He looks at Po and the quick smirk that shows on his face is enough to tell him that he didn’t just get distracted. Po wants to introduce Dylan to him. “This is Nano, I’ve mentioned him before.” Nano waves at him. “And this is-”
“Sorry, I’m in a rush today. We’ll chat some other time. Nice to meet the both of you.” He waves, grabs his latte and leaves the cafe before either boy says anything else.
what was that?
The text from Po comes just moments later.
nothing
just was in a rush
He sees the bubbles coming and going.
that’s a lie but i won’t pry
come to mine later?
i’ll introduce you to some of my friends. we’re having a games night
But he will be there, he thinks. But before he can reply, another text from Po comes through.
you definitely need some friends
Dylan rolls his eyes.
no excuses
The red and blue hero becomes someone who Dylan resents. Jumping from roof to roof. Swinging from building to building. The prospect of being a hero was so much more desirable when it was only a dream. The reality of it consists of broken relationships, questionable self-worth, and sleepless nights.
Going to the cafe almost every day, even for just one hour, just to see the familiar faces of his friends, is what makes him feel human most of the time. It is a contradicting feeling of wanting to be close to them all the time and believing that they are better off without him in it.
It might even feel melodramatic to an extent. But just four months ago all of his friends knew him. And five months ago he was laughing with them at that same cafe. Now he is stuck having small talk with his least close friend (no offence Po). So his life in general has the art for the dramatics.
The first two months without them, Dylan tried so hard to avoid frequenting any place he knew they would be. His life would insist on his college classes, the part-time job at the Korean restaurant close by, and his empty studio apartment. Then one day he sees Thame entering the restaurant with Po and it is like a knot hung tight in his throat. He could see that Thame was nervous so Dylan guessed that it might have been their first date and he remembered smiling at that because his friend had liked Po for a while now.
But after seeing Thame and Po, there was just this addicting need to keep seeing them. To make sure they were actually safe and happy without him. He goes to Pepper’s family cafe just to have a bit of familiarity back in his life, only to see him. Laughing brightly like Dylan loved seeing. Laughing like there is not a missing piece in his life like there is in Dylan’s. Dylan leaves the cafe and cries that night. He also comes back the next day, and every day after that. (He might have cried night after night as well.)
Dylan is scared of diving into each of these relationships again. There’s different circumstances and different variables, and he is not sure if the outcome would ever be the same. If having them in his life is worth the change of dynamic. How would he chat with a Pepper that won’t laugh with him every time The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air came on TV because of an inside joke they’ve had since the age of eleven? But most importantly, how would he laugh with a Pepper who won’t feel the same level of comfort in Dylan’s presence as Dylan feels in theirs? After all, that took years to build.
And there’s also Thame, who is quite new in his life in comparison. That one would probably be easy to start again, Dylan believes. It would probably be fun too. He could probably start all kinds of mischief with him. Although this time he will not have anyone to roll their eyes at them and laugh at their antics.
And then there’s Nano. Nano has come into his life like a surprise. Their personalities do not match. In all the areas that Nano is funny and delicate, Dylan seems to be intense and rough. And where Dylan lacks courage, Nano has bravery to spare. If anyone has taught him how to be unapologetically himself, it would be the boy of sarcastic one liners and wide smiles. (Also he introduced Dylan to RuPaul’s Drag Race, and it just feels weird to watch the new season without him. Even though Nano is definitely watching it without Dylan ever crossing his mind.)
His parents always cross his mind. He checks up on them every day after a tiring night of patrolling. His mom is happily engaged with a new baby on the way. Maybe this one she would be able to love unconditionally and never make them feel unabandoned. It is crazy to think that Dylan will have a sibling out there that will never know of his existence because his mother does not know of his existence. But truth be told, he does not really care. It is bittersweet to know he will no longer be an only child, but he does not have anything to miss.
His dad is single. Going on a few dates a month and enjoying going out with friends almost every weekend. Dylan is happy about that, truly. It just makes him wonder if he was ever holding his dad back from the life Dylan always encouraged him to have since the divorce.
The relationship he is most scared of restarting is with the one person he cannot find the courage of saying or even thinking of the name of. If he does, his heart will ache much more than it already does. And something like that should have been an impossible feature considering the ache in his heart grows by the minute every day and multiplies every time he sees him. Saying his name includes defining the relationship he will not dare to think about. Once he finds someone else it will probably be the day the single thread holding Dylan’s life together snaps. It will be then that he will officially define a relationship that he does not even know exists to be defined. Dylan himself is too much of a coward to label the boy as something when he was already anything and everything to Dylan. Still is. He is the catalyst to the person that Dylan is today. He has always been the person that drove him forward and makes him always want to achieve more than the limits he thought he had. He might not belong to Dylan, but he sure knows that he belongs to the boy. And the idea of that might be unhealthy added with a behaviour he should have definitely not have grown accustomed to, but there is absolutely nothing else that is holding his sanity together if not him.
So Dylan finds himself at Po’s house a few hours later. It has him nervous, but it is not a matter of not wanting to rebuild all the important relationships in his life. It is a matter of need. He needs it. To keep himself together he needs at least a percentage of what he lost.
“I knew you would come,” Po says, a smile showing up on his face when he sees Dylan at the door. “A few people still have to arrive, including you know who ,” he nudges him, “but everyone else is in the living room trying to decide whether playing Harry Potter trivia means you’re supporting the she-devil or not.”
“The game is already bought so is there really a difference?” Pepper says behind them. “Hi, I’m Pepper. And you’re Dylan, right?” Dylan nods. Pepper does not say anything at his lack of words. Dylan does not actually know what he should say to them. He feels like every time he opens his mouth, Pepper is able to see through his façade. And the less he talks, the easier it is to keep his best friend at arm’s length.
Dylan then hears his voice, coming into the room with Nano and a cupcake tray decorated in all his favourite colours like he likes to do almost every Saturday morning. (A hobby he picked up on a random Saturday afternoon with his older sister.) The taste of the cupcake with pink buttercream from sixteen Saturday mornings ago is still in his mouth. He got scolded five different times in a span of an hour for tasting the batter.
He looks as beautiful as he always does. He is wearing a green shirt that he doesn’t wear much because he doesn't favour the colour even though Dylan believes it sits perfectly in his skin. Once again, the delusional side of him wants to believe that he is wearing it right now because somewhere in his unconscious mind, Dylan’s preference for the shirt is still present.
The evening goes quickly and soon enough people start leaving. Dylan would too if not for Po shooting daggers at him every time he stands up.
Dylan also feels his eyes on him. Which is weird because every time he looks at him (and Dylan looks at him a lot and he knows that is extremely creepy from his part and without any sort of context) he seems to be engaged in conversation with either Thame or Nano. Yet he could still feel that familiar presence of stolen looks and hidden smiles across the room.
“Why do you always look at me like that?” Dylan asks.
“Like what?”
“With those little doe brown eyes.”
“They’re just the way my eyes are. Why? You don’t like the way I look at you?” He teases.
“I love the way you look at me.”
He starts to use Po. And he knows that Po is well aware of that fact. Spending a lot more of his scarce free time with Po to fill up a void that one person cannot fill up. Most days he spends at Po’s house which has now become somewhat comforting. Maybe it is the constant presence of one of his friends in the house, making it lively any time he comes around.
Somewhere in between the third and fourth week of wasting his days at Po’s house, he gets Thame’s and also Pepper’s numbers and a chain of texts starts. A group chat is even formed some days later.
Dylan sees him almost every day as well. And it is as uncomfortable as it is calming.
He looks at him in a way that it feels foreign to Dylan. The hours he spent memorising each smile, each look, each intonation of his words, feel crumbling down under this unfamiliarity.
“You’re here again,” he says.
“J-” Nano starts to scold.
“I can leave,” he interrupts.
“It’s fine.” But it is not fine. At least in the way his lips stay locked in a frown, it definitely does not look fine. Dylan says it as much.
“It doesn’t look fine.” However Dylan does not mean it to come off as rudely.
“You can always leave,” he replies.
Dylan smiles at that. Memories of their first struggling months of their frenemies like relationships come to mind. He opens his mouth to reply to that, bounce off the banter and bond in the same way they have bonded before when he gets alerted. Goosebumps on his skin and the tingling sensation of danger running through him.
“Oh I actually have to leave.”
“You don’t have to, Dylan.” Pepper says this time.
“No, I actually do.” He speaks.
He sees the looks Nano throws at the boy to apologise, and Dylan sees the way he looks at him somewhat apologetic and somewhat guarded and standing his ground.
He feels guilty for leaving them with this idea that their friend put him off when that could not be further from the truth. There is nothing a boy like him could ever do that could put Dylan off.
The rescue is simple like most rescues are. Dangerous villains do not appear as frequent as television loves to imply. Most of the time he is just doing mundane tasks that steal all his free time.
Next time Dylan sees him, he is working. He is four hours and twenty two exact minutes into his shift (only three more hours and thirty eight minutes left to go home) when he enters with Thame. He smiles at something he said but it is quickly gone the moment his eyes land on Dylan. Dylan tries to smile and wave, albeit a bit awkward. Thame waves back, nudging him and mumbling something Dylan cannot quite catch from where he is.
“Hey,” Thame says once Dylan reaches their table. “Didn’t know you worked here.”
“Yeah.” Dylan replies. He doesn’t really have anything else to say in this tense atmosphere.
“Are you going to take our order?” he asks.
“You’ll have to order for that to happen.”
“You’ll have to ask for us to order. That’s good customer service,” he grins sarcastically.
“Sorry, Tangsakultham. What would you like to order?” He knows he fucked up when a sour look appears on his face. Along with curiosity. Maybe? Dylan has always been able to read him well. “Saw your name in a notebook in yours and Po’s room, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He rushes to say. “If it’s any better you can call me Zhou.”
“Now why would I call you that?” He rolls his eyes.
“I would like the spicy pork bibimbap,” Thame awkwardly interrupts. “I’m hungry and the both of you are annoying me with this weird tension.”
“There’s no tension,” he says. “But I’ll have the same.”
“Sure thing.” Dylan says. “And it’s my last name”
“What?” He asks, confused.
“My last name is Zhou. That’s why you can call me that.”
“I figured that much. I am not dumb, Zhou .” He says, and he is not really smiling but the corner of his lips turn up, so Dylan knows he is at least amused.
Dylan, on the other hand, has his heart hammering in his chest. It takes everything in him not to go over their table and ask him to repeat his name again. He wants to hear a Dylan as well, but that would mean he would have to say his name out loud in response, and he barely allows himself to even think about it.
Thame calls him over at the end of the meal, pays, smiles, and tips him generously which is in character for someone like Thame.
He comes to him while Thame waits by the door.
“I know this might make me sound like an asshole, but I’ll say it anyway.” He sighs. “I don’t want you in my room. I’m sure you and Po have other places to hang out that aren't there.”
“That’s fine.” He replies. He nods in understanding and turns to leave. “And for the record, setting your boundaries will never make you sound like an asshole.”
He smiles. Genuinely smiles at him, and Dylan could probably die content.
“You’re here every day like a loser.” It is not malicious but instead it holds a more teasing tone, so it makes Dylan smile.
Dylan keeps to his words and does not hang around in Po’s room. But he does not stop hanging at the house. And it is where he finds Dylan when he comes in after his class. Dylan is on the couch with Thame and Po watching a sitcom he does not remember the name as it has not been picking his interest.
“Nice to see you too, Tangsakultham.” He smiles.
He looks at him in conflict. Because he is never mean by nature, but he always has his guard up. And Dylan knows that he always has his guard up around Dylan. He has not managed to crack it yet. But to be fair Dylan has not actively tried to crack it because that would mean spending more time with him and Dylan knows that is definitely not healthy.
“Don’t you have any other friends, Zhou?” He asks as he sits down.
“Do you want me to leave?” Dylan asks.
He looks at him and smiles. As much as he rightfully has his guard up, his words hold no bite.
“No, it’s fine.”
His eyes focus on Dylan’s wrist and Dylan notices that the bruise he got from gripping the rope of a rescue from the previous night is still showing on his skin. It no longer hurts but some bruises take a while to disappear. And it also did not help that Dylan was also drawing attention to himself by wearing a long sleeve in the warm weather.
He clears his throat and adjusts his sleeves. “I’m anaemic, I get cold easily.”
“I wasn’t curious,” he says. Dylan also can see that he does not believe his lie.
“I figured.” He gives a lame reply.
He feels his eyes on him throughout the evening. It is as uncomfortable as it is familiar. It feels so juxtaposed for wanting nothing more than his eyes on him, but also knowing that the glances he gives Dylan are nothing short of uneasiness.
“There’s something so familiar about you.”
“Is it my charm or my astonishing good looks?” He teases.
“Definitely your astonishing good looks. Never seen a mask so enticing.”
“You would be surprised just how many love declarations I get in this suit.” He smiles, although he knows the other boy cannot quite see that.
The boy raises his eyebrow. “A superhero getting confessed to every day after saving people and making a whole population feel safe? I wonder why you would ever get such love declarations.”
“Makes you wonder that maybe you will miss your turn if you don’t act fast.”
He laughs. “You wish.”
I do. The hero thinks.
The night is delightfully calm for the hero. It does not go further than a few petty crimes so he ends up finding himself on the same rooftop he is most days. It turned out to be his only place of comfort for him.
He goes to remove his mask, as he always does but a voice interrupts him.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
He turns around and it is him. Of course it is him. It is his rooftop after all. Or it was before he moved in with the boys.
“Can’t sleep?” He asks instead.
The other boy looks at him in silence for a second. There is a look of curiosity and wonder on his face.
“You could say that.” He speaks. “And you?”
“I never sleep.”
He laughs. “Insomnia or just the hero thing?”
“A little bit of both. A little bit more than just that.”
“Ominous.”
The hero smiles under the mask. “I got to be. It keeps the mystery.”
A silence falls upon them. It makes him nervous because once upon a time they could say anything to each other. Right now, Dylan is trying so hard not to remove his mask out of habit and lay on his lap as he caresses his tangled strands and complains about his lack of brushing.
“I am going to say something. It is going to sound crazy, and sudden, and out of the blue. I will say it anyway because the feeling I have now is the same feeling I had back then.” He inhales.
“Back when?” Dylan asks softly, not sure if it was even loud enough for him to hear.
“You’re Dylan aren’t you?”
“What?”
“You’re Dylan.” He says with much more conviction this time.
“No I’m not.”
“You are.” He affirms. “I don’t know why I feel so sure about this but seeing you now for the first time right in front of me, I have the exact same feeling when I first saw Dylan.”
Dylan does not really know how to respond. So he keeps quiet for the following minutes. He also does not say anything but the other boy’s eyes do not leave him for a second.
Dylan raises his hands to remove his mask but the other boy quickly stops him. Even with the suit, Dylan can unexpectedly feel the warmth of his hands.
“Can I?” He whispers softly. Dylan nods, eye contact not once breaking as he removes the mask from Dylan’s face. Dylan feels weak and exposed with those big brown eyes staring at him. His heart is hammering so loud that even the city noise is blocked out. He looks at him in wonder and nervousness and Dylan could really kiss him right now.
He giggles. God, Dylan really truly absolutely wants to kiss him right now. “I was wondering how this felt so oddly familiar when I have never seen you so up close. Almost like déjà vu. And it’s just because it’s you.” He looks at him. His eyes holding the same wonder as the first time he figured it out. “I mean I suspected it. I don’t know why because I had absolutely nothing indicating it was you. But with the odd bruises and your disappearances, somewhere at the back of my mind I just had a feeling it was you. It felt like such a stupid thought to have. Dylan Zhou is Spiderman. But here we are.”
“Maybe you’re just too smart.” He smiles. His heart has not stopped at all. What does it even mean if he felt so familiar with him? If he knew just by Dylan’s presence alone?
He hums. “Can I ask you something?”
“You know my biggest secret so go ahead.” Dylan grins.
“Why do you never say my name?” He asks. And as confident as he looks; Dylan can feel that he is not. He is doing the thing where he stares between his eyebrows, so people don’t realise he is breaking eye contact to gather his thoughts.
“I say your name.” he lies.
He rolls his eyes. “I meant my first name.”
“I say your first name.” he expresses softly.
“Say it, then.”
“Why? Is it important to you?”
“I’m just curious why you avoid it so much.”
“I don’t avoid it.”
“You’re doing it now.”
“No I’m not.”
“Then say it. Repeat after me. Jun.”
It seems silly. It’s just a name. Yet it feels like a connection to a world he does not want to open the door to. The last time he said his name; it was followed by a kiss. The last time he said this, he wiped his tears and kissed his knuckles and made Dylan promise that he would look for him.
Dylan has not kept that promise. Saying his name is a reminder of that. Of love confessions and broken promises.
And yet there he is waiting for Dylan to say his name. His hair out of his face held together by his favourite hair clip, moles looking so prominent on his bare face, and the worn out Pokémon pyjamas he had for a few years now.
“Jun.” He whispers. Easier to say than he thought. But then again, everything about Jun has always been easy.
“What was that?” He brings his hand to his ear and leans closer to Dylan.
Dylan rolls his eyes. “Jun. Are you happy now?”
“Hmm. I guess.” Jun says. “If you stop being weird around me.”
“I’m not weird around you.” Dylan replies defensively.
“You are very weird. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“Sorry.”
“I accept the apology.”
JunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJunJun.
“I have memorised each freckle on your face. I don’t know if that’s creepy or sweet, but I’m definitely obsessed with you.”
“Oh, please.” Dylan starts. “I have memorised you by each mole on your skin. I guess we’re just kind of obsessed with each other.”
It does not become easier to be around Jun. But it is even harder to stay away. Jun has been spending more time in his childhood home, the rooftop meetups happening biweekly despite neither of the boys ever agreeing out loud to meet up. Dylan might be torturing himself with his constant need to be around the boy. But it can also be argued that he is torturing himself to be away from Jun. At least this way the ache in his heart does not feel so suffocating, it feels manageable.
Because, for Dylan, being with Jun is like opening the curtains after spending days in a dark room. Letting the warmth and the sunlight in and instantly feeling better. Being with Jun is – was – the warmth of a sunrise and the comfort of a sunset. Being without Jun is like someone forcibly trapped him back inside the room and closes the curtains once more. And no matter how many times Dylan tries, he cannot seem to get out of bed to open them himself.
And he knows he should. He knows he should open the curtains himself. Get control of himself again. But that is for someday. Someday he will do just that.
Right now he will indulge himself with the late night rooftop talks that are reminiscing of his past life.
“Po is very protective of you,” Dylan says sometime within the hour they’ve been together chatting nonsense about their day.
“Yeah,” Jun smiles. “I would call him a brother but we kinda dated for a month or maybe even less before we called it quits so that would be weird.”
“Oh.” Dylan is surprised. Something stings in him. “You and Po.” He says, not really knowing what emotion he is showing in his voice because everything in his mind is foggy. This Jun dated Po.
Jun rolls his eyes. “Don’t judge.”
“I’m not. He’s just… Po. And you’re you. I can’t see how the both of you even became a thing.”
“It’s complicated. We were both trying to fill voids that we couldn’t fill for each other. He’s a great friend. One of the most supportive people I have met, really. But neither of us were really there. We were walking at completely different paces and no matter how hard we tried; we could never be in sync.”
Dylan remembers a time in a distant past when Jun had a crush on Po. A past where Thame was not in the picture yet, and Dylan and Jun were just classmates that would clash at times. The crush did not last long and did not go anywhere. So what makes this time different that they have dated? Is it Dylan? Was Dylan stopping Jun from finding happiness? But that cannot be because Po and Thame are definitely something now.
“He’s a good guy. A little scared to be vulnerable and imperfect and I think that’s why I connected with him in the first place, and we blurred our lines. But ultimately he cares about his friends so much.”
Dylan knows that. He has never felt particularly close to Po, but he knows that if ever needed to call him, Po would answer. Sometimes he believes that Po might have been more supportive with Jun and allowed him to grow more than Dylan himself ever did.
The Po he knows did not like to not be perfect. The Po that Dylan knows was someone that would show up for any friend but could not allow himself to show anything other than the put together guy everyone believed him to be. The Po that Dylan is getting to know currently looks much freer with himself. Laughs a lot more freely. Not just doing everything for others, but allowing himself to want things too. Allowing himself to be selfish at times. Dylan guesses that it must be Thame’s influence. If Po and Jun are two people afraid of being vulnerable with each other, Po and Thame are two people who put each other’s needs above their own, forcing them to find a compromise and find a pace together.
But then again, Dylan and Jun were also two people scared of being vulnerable and they worked. For the most part, that is. Maybe Po and Jun just were not each other’s person the way Jun was Dylan’s.
“What void were you feeling?” Dylan changes the subject. Enough about Po.
“I don’t truly know but sometimes I feel like my life is incomplete.”
“To be fair, everyone feels like their life is incomplete.”
“I guess.” Jun smiles but he sounds unconvinced. “Well I gotta go back home. I can’t actually stay here tonight.”
“Do you want me to take you home? A hero’s friend privileges.” Like old times is left unsaid.
“Some other time, Spidey.” Jun smiles before he makes his way out of the rooftop.
He leaves Dylan there, heart begging to get out of his ribcage with the way it is beating.
Spidey.
It has been six months since he last heard the name coming out from those lips.
“You already know my name is Jun, so I definitely need something to call you. To differentiate you from the people you visit on their rooftops.”
“You’re the only one I visit or even want to visit.”
“Careful, Spidey, one might think you like me.”
“Spidey?”
“My new nickname for you. You don’t like it?”
“I do.”
Pepper has always been able to read people well. He has always been very perceptive of his surroundings, especially when it came to his friends. The fact that they have known each other since they were toddlers – a version of them at least – certainly helped with being an open book to his best friend.
Dylan was not surprised when Pepper once again brought his walls down in ways not many could. In ways Dylan has not allowed anyone else to.
“You know, it’s good to hang out with just you.” Pepper says. It is the first time they are hanging out just the two of them since Pepper has met Dylan. Dylan is nervous. Heartbeat erratic, palms sweaty, and his thoughts are all jumbled in his mind. One would think this is a date. And although it is not, it is just as important as one. Dylan needs this to go well. He needs Pepper in his life. Pepper has been his rock in his hard times, in his easy times, in his embarrassing times, in whatever era of Dylan’s life you look into, Pepper is there.
To Dylan, Pepper is moonlight. He is the source of light you would never think of needing. But once the sky clears and the full moon shines along with the stars, it just feels so right. It is comforting and warm in an unexpected way. And Pepper feels just like that. Dylan never expected Pepper to bring him comfort and warmth, and to make him smile from all the little things of their mundane life.
Life without Jun is unbearable. But life without Pepper is just as suffocating.
“Hmm,” Dylan agrees. “It is.”
Pepper stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether to say what is on his mind. Dylan does not rush because he knows Pepper would eventually talk.
“Hey Dylan,” he says, as a way to gather Dylan’s attention. He does not know that it is not needed. “You know, you can tell me anything, right? I know we don’t know each other for long. Just a little over a month,” Seventeen years, actually, “but I know you feel the same connection I do.”
He nods but does not allow himself to speak. There is a lump stuck in his throat and he fears he might cry.
“You can say if I overstep, but your eyes always look very sad. I don’t think you have genuinely smiled once since we’ve known each other. I also don’t know what is going on between you and Jun because for some reason you’re both always on edge around each other, but if you need a friend I can be that for you. In whichever way or quantity you need, I am here.”
Maybe it is the ever present smile on Pepper’s face, or the familiar way he rests his hand on Dylan’s shoulder, but Dylan finally breaks down. It starts with a sob before he is breaking down in Pepper’s arms as the latter pats his back soothingly.
“I can’t say why.”
“It’s okay.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
The hero reaches the rooftop and immediately takes off the red mask. Now he is just Dylan. And with Jun waiting for him with a smile, he feels even more so.
Dylan kisses Jun’s lips gently and lays on the bench, head resting on his thighs. Jun’s hands immediately reach his hair like routine. He hums softly, maybe even purrs, and the two of them just stay silently like that.
“Did you know that there’s a word in Portuguese for running your fingers through someone’s hair?” Jun says after a while. “ Cafuné ” he says. “It’s cute, isn’t it?”
“I love it.” Dylan responds, eyes still closed and a smile on his lips.
“The word, or me running my fingers through your hair?”
“Both. I love the word, and I love this too.” I love you, too. He wants to say. But he does not because he is tired, exhausted, and sweaty. And Jun deserves to hear it in much better conditions. He knows there is no rush because Dylan knows that Jun knows he loves him. Just like he knows that Jun loves him. After all, he is telling him right now. Not in those three words, but by how his right hand goes through his hair and how Jun’s left hand locks fingers with his and he leans down for a short kiss on his lips. They have all the time in the world to say those three words to each other.
He cannot tell Pepper the truth without telling Jun first. The problem lies in the fact that he does not know how to tell the truth to Jun. The time for the truth has been past due. The promise has been severely broken that Dylan might as well just keep living with the guilt. Jun has actually created a life past him and he cannot find it in himself to break that peace.
He is on the rooftop before Jun. Should he tell him, should he not.
He should.
“Lost in thought again?” Jun asks as he sits down.
“Hm, you could say that.” Dylan smiles. “You’re somewhat late today.”
“Had a date today. We went to an arcade a bit far from here.”
He should not.
“How was it?” He forces himself to ask.
Jun pauses for a second, frowns a little. “It was nice. As first dates usually go, I guess.”
“Thinking of a second date?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t particularly feel anything. Thame and Po were both so nervous on their first date and when Po came home he was smiling so widely and giggling to his phone. Pepper to this day still checks himself at least three times before meeting Gam. I didn’t feel any of that.”
Dylan smiles to himself. He remembers Nano telling him that he had spent almost two hours on face time with Jun just to choose the right outfit for their first date.
“I guess they’re just not the one,” Dylan shrugs.
“I guess,” Jun agrees. “What about you? Have you ever been in love?”
Dylan holds his breath, contemplating on whether to tell the truth or not. “Yes,” he decides on the truth, “still am.”
Jun smiles, “who is the lucky person to capture the heart of our hero?”
“Just someone who I see everyday but doesn’t remember me.” Dylan clears his throat. “Know me, I mean.” Jun doesn’t say anything, expecting him to continue. “He’s like the sun to me.” Dylan continues. “Do you know that feeling when you see the sun peaking out on a cloudy day and you just hope it will just come out?” Jun nods.
“Seeing him is just like that. Being with him was like sunny summer days. Being without him is like cloudy days where sometimes it rains, and sometimes it stays gloomy and cloudy. But seeing him is like those days where the sun is peeking out and you’re hoping that it finally gets warm but it never actually does.”
“That was…” Jun sucks in the air.
“Cheesy? Corny?” Dylan tries to complete the sentence.
“Oh it was.” He smiles, bumping shoulders with him. “A little bit unhealthy too considering this is someone you said doesn’t even know you.” He adds. “But freakishly enough, I want someone to talk about me like that. To love me like that.
“I’m sure there’s someone out there that loves you more than I love you could ever express.”
“Isn’t that the dream?” Jun whispers.
“To be loved? Because you already are.”
“To be loved so intensely where an I love you becomes so insignificant.” He replies.
Dylan frowns. “It might not capture everything but it’s far from becoming insignificant.”
“Hmm.” Jun says doubtful.
“Say you love me.” Dylan commands. “If it’s so easy to say, say you love me.” Please. He begs. Please don’t. He begs even more.
“Spidey–”
“It’s not easy because it’s not insignificant. I believe that the beauty of it is when it becomes a part of your being. Believe me, I’ve had my struggles with saying it. And then I’ve had my struggles with keeping it in.”
“And who have you ever said I love you to? Besides family, I mean.” Jun asks.
“To the one person who taught me how to say it.” Dylan avoids eye contact with Jun. “Loving them has always been easy. But with a responsibility like this one, it took a lot of work to open myself up to be loved and allow myself to love with no fears.”
“Love with no fears.” Jun repeats. “I want that.”
“That’s not an era I wanna go back to.”
“Why? I liked your pink hair.” He says, running his fingers through Dylan’s hair.
“Yeah?” he smiles, “were you already heads over heels for me?”
“You could say that.”
“Oh, you love me so bad.”
“Do I?” he laughs.
“And you wanna kiss me so bad.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t need you to worry about me?” Dylan says.
“Isn’t that what friends do? Worry about each other?”
“We did one project together; we’re not exactly friends.” Dylan forces himself to look at Jun. He has to end this here. “I thought the message was clear enough last time you’ve acted so obsessed with me.”
Jun’s face hardens and looks so emotionless. If Dylan did not know him so well he would have said that he did not care about his words. But just as much as Dylan can read him, Jun can read him just as well to know Dylan does not mean what he says. Though, it does not make it any less hurtful.
“You know what, Dylan? I’ve always known you’ve had problems talking to people. But I never thought that would include being cruel.”
It all comes crashing down quickly in a span of thirty minutes. It is funny, actually. Hilarious. The moment Dylan entertains the idea of rebuilding his friendships, he gets a reminder on exactly why he had to distance himself in the first place. Reminding him that he is not allowed to chase happiness.
It is a tiring day. Dylan has spent his day dealing with low grade villains that he has had no time to catch his breath, to eat, to think.
He lands himself on the familiar roof, just some minutes from midnight. Not the latest he has finished, but considering he has been swinging from building to building since early hours in the morning, it feels extremely draining.
Surprisingly Jun is there, as if he is still waiting for him. But before Dylan is able to say anything he senses it. A blur of motion behind Jun that has the hero shooting webs directly towards Jun and pulling him closer, straight into his arms.
“I need to stay here,” he says once he settles Jun at one of the corners of the rooftop. “Don’t move.”
Dylan turns back to face the villain this time. A heavy hand slams into the hero’s side, sending him skidding across the rooftop. His brain is going miles a second so he does not really gather much of what has been said to him.
Something along the lines of: “You let your guard down.” And, “when you feel safest is the best time to target.”
A chameleon-like villain that has been following him all day looking for the best opportunity to attack, sensing when the hero felt most at ease to come out of the shadows.
All Dylan can hear is that it was his fault. All Dylan can feel is guilt and fear.
Despite being initially caught by surprise it does not take long to apprehend him. He launches forward, punches the chameleon hybrid and decidedly traps him in his webs. Like routine, he picks up the villain and weblines him from the rooftop to the ground, leaving with patrolling officers.
He makes his way back to the rooftop, back to Jun.
“That was kind of terrifying.” Jun says, a nervous smile on his face.
Dylan does not say anything. There is not much he wants to say. There is also a lot that he wants to say.
“Hey, Dylan are you okay?” Jun asks, brows furrowed in concern.
“This was a mistake.” He says finally.
“What was?”
“This.” He motions to the two of them. “Us.” He removes his mask. Jun deserves to at least be able to look at him. “I put you in danger.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was,” Dylan says in frustration. “It followed me here. Danger follows me everywhere.”
Jun steps closer and holds Dylan’s face, forcing the eye contact he didn’t even realise he was avoiding. “Listen to me, Dylan. It is not your fault.”
Dylan wants to hold Jun’s hands on his cheeks and trap it there. He wants to feel the warmth that he lost those many nights ago. He wants Jun to hold his hand and kiss his palm to calm him down like he often did.
Most importantly, he wants Jun to be safe. So he pulls away and takes a step back.
“I’ve lost the most important people to me once over mistakes I made. I’ve put them in danger before. I will not do that again.” Jun doesn’t look at him like he is angry and maybe if it did, Dylan would be able to walk away a lot easier.
“I’ll give you space if that’s what you want, but I will not let you isolate yourself. I will be waiting here on this rooftop everyday at the same time until you show up, because I know you will.” Jun says determinedly.
“You will be waiting in vain.”
“I won’t.” He says so sure of himself, so sure of Dylan, that Dylan wants to believe it too. Instead he puts on his mask and shoots a webline to the next rooftop.
Three weeks and four days. That is how he long avoids everyone until he can’t anymore. Messages had been flooding his phone from his group chat with Thame and Pepper. Nano texts him every few days with new music he is listening to. Po keeps him updated about Jun. Even though it goes unanswered every day, the updates do not stop.
He is itching to go to the rooftop. To see if Jun is really there waiting for him. At this point he probably gave up on waiting for the hero. It’s just not worth it to wait for Dylan. He is not worth all this trouble he is causing.
It’s just after his gruesome shift that Pepper comes to knock some sense into him. He clocks out and leaves by the back door of the restaurant to avoid running into Po and Thame who were waiting for him at the front.
“It’s been difficult to catch you.” Pepper says as soon as he opens the door. Dylan realises quickly enough that Po and Thame were just a distraction, carefully placed to guide Dylan to Pepper. “How about I walk you home and we chat along the way?”
“I think I’m alright.” Dylan says and picks up his pace.
“No one that is alright goes radio silence.” Pepper replies.
Dylan sighs in frustration and turns to look at Pepper who was just a step behind him. “Why do you even care so much? We barely know each other.”
Pepper smiles sweetly. “Somehow I don’t believe that. Call me crazy, but in a world of powers and superheroes, us knowing each other in a different lifetime is not a wild thought. I feel it deeply in me and I also know you have the answers on why I feel like this.”
“You’re delusional.” But his tone does not even convince a stranger, let alone Pepper.
“I think I’m right, actually. You know me. You know Jun. You know all of us. This connection we have is rooted in something.”
Dylan doesn’t say anything through the rest of the journey home. Pepper also doesn’t try to fill in the silence, always keeping his pace just a step behind him. When he reaches home he doesn’t need to invite Pepper inside, the latter already knows.
It takes a few minutes of him pacing back and forth in the comfort of his bedroom to finally speak. “I just want to protect you all.”
“By pushing us away and avoiding us?”
“I have no other option, Pepper.”
“But you do, Dylan.” Pepper holds his wrist once Dylan walks by him again, forcing him to sit down. “Whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone.”
“What else am I supposed to do, Per? How else am I supposed to feel when everyone gets hurt around me?”
“So you think this is the way to protect the people around you?” Pepper asks. “Torturing yourself like this is not a way to live. You’re just killing yourself slowly. You’re not saving anyone. You’re just prolonging someone’s death.”
Dylan doesn’t hold himself back and starts crying, sobbing into Pepper’s shoulder as the boy softly brushes his hand at the nape of his neck.
“I just don’t want to destroy anyone’s life.”
“You shouldn’t be sacrificing yours for that. You’re not living, Dylan. You’re just surviving. And there is only so many days you can survive before it exhausts you completely.”
Sometime between the broken sobs, Pepper’s warm hands, and the soft, familiar smell of his perfume, Dylan falls asleep. Arm around his friend’s torso, and head carefully placed on his chest, Dylan has never felt so at home in a long time.
He goes to the rooftop that same night. It’s much later than usual his time – it’s almost two in the morning. Pepper is still in his apartment sleeping soundly. Only telling him to “stay safe” as if Dylan’s secret is no secret at all.
Jun is there, laying on the concrete floor, headphones in place while he scrolls through his phone. The hero can’t decide if he is surprised or not in seeing the boy there.
Jun looks up when feels his presence, and sits up. The instant honest smile on his face as soon as he sees the red and blue hero makes Dylan’s heart skip several beats to be deemed healthy.
“If we had a bet I would’ve won.” Jun smiles.
“I guess you know me well.” Dylan removes his mask.
“I guess I do.”
A silence settles between them.
“Hey, Dylan.”
“Hmm?”
“That person you said you’re in love with. Are you still…”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
Oh. Dylan knows that tone. Jun is disappointed.
“Jun–”
“Looks like I have the work cut out for me. But I’m confident I can win.”
Dylan laughs at that. “You sure?”
Jun nods. “Whoever they are, they got nothing on Junn Tangsakultham.” He smiles. It’s that insanely attractive confident signature smirk that has Dylan’s stomach churning no matter how familiar it has become to him.
“Will you tell me who they are just so I know my competition?”
“Maybe some other time.”
“That’s fine. It won’t deter me.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“What if you don’t like who is under the mask?”
“Are you going to tell me who is under the mask?” He shakes his head.
Jun smiles, “so is that a no on the kiss?”
Dylan hasn’t had this much fun in a while. Jun talks and flirts with him in ways that he hasn’t done so in months. Since before the spell. Since before their lives had become a newspaper of bad news page after page, day after day. Dylan feels nineteen again, when all he had to worry about was the boy in his class with the annoyingly attractive smile that would always find a way to push his buttons.
“Your boyfriend is waiting for you out front.” Yoon, his coworker, teases.
“He is not my boyfriend.” Dylan rolls his eyes but the blush and smile on his face doesn’t hide anything.
“The way he picks you up every shift tells me otherwise.” He bumps his shoulder against Dylan’s.
Dylan simply pushes him away and punches his code into the machine to clock out. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you both tomorrow.”
He ignores the comment and walks towards Jun who is sitting in the waiting area by the front door, not truly frowning but the smile is not as wide as it usually is.
“Hey. Thank you for picking me up.”
“My pleasure.” And as soon as they walk out of the restaurant, he asks, “so is that my competition?”
Dylan is confused for a second. “Who? Yoon?”
“Is that his name?” Jun looks at him. Dylan furrows his brows before a smile settles on his lips, understanding Jun’s current weird mood instantly.
“You’re jealous.” He smiles.
“I’m not jealous. I don’t get jealous.” You get very jealous.
“If you say so.” Dylan smiles. “But no he is not the one that has my heart.”
“If it’s not him then who?” Jun asks. “When will you tell me who I am competing with?”
Dylan shrugs. “If it ever becomes relevant I’ll tell you.”
Dylan makes sure no one is in the alley with them and turns to look at Jun. “Ready?” The boy nods. So Dylan holds him by the waist, Jun’s arms automatically going around his neck and legs around him. The hero shoots webs to the top of the building and swings the both of them upwards, building to building until they reach their own rooftop.
“That will always feel weird.”
“Being manhandled?”
“No, I love that part very much.” Jun smiles. “I meant flying around the city. I don’t think it’s for me.”
“You like feeling grounded.”
Jun gives him a gentle smile. “Yeah, I do.”
They settle in their usual spot.
“You know I won’t give up, right?” Jun says. “I want to know who has your heart.”
“I can take a guess based on how you bring it up almost every day.”
Jun sits up straighter. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“So suddenly?”
“I gotta make sure you end up choosing me.” Dylan can see the way Jun’s fingers tap his thigh–a nervous habit of his.
“Okay.” Maybe he should’ve refused. Should’ve told Jun he needs to think about it. Should’ve put a pause to this and prioritised the truth. There’s a few things that Dylan thinks he should’ve done. Some more things telling him why this might be a bad idea. But with the light of the moon cascading on Jun’s skin, the easy going smile on his face, and the sweet tone of his voice–Dylan couldn’t find it in himself to say no. Or he simply just did not want to say no. He wants to be selfish, think about himself for one night.
“Let’s go then.”
“Now?” Dylan asks, confused.
“Yes. It’s still dinner time and you just finished work so I know you’re hungry. You look very cute in your purple hoodie, and I’m nervous as shit. All the elements needed for a first date.” Jun stands up and holds out his hand. “So, will you go on a date with me?”
Dylan knows Jun likes him. He knows that the date will go well, he is confident in that fact. They’ve gone on multiple dates together. But the prospect of this being their first date in Jun’s eyes makes him just as nervous as their actual first date. Oddly enough, he was wearing the exact same purple hoodie.
He takes the boy’s hands and smiles. “Where are you taking me for our first date?”
They end up going to a roller skating rink that they had been a few times before in their not-so-distant past. Jun is as clumsy as he has always been, flailing his arms around, balancing by holding the handrails, or Dylan’s favourite, clutching to Dylan’s hoodie and pouting and begging to not be let go.
Jun has never bothered to learn how to skate – both roller skating and skateboarding – just so he can find an excuse to hold on to Dylan. He has never needed one, but everything is more fun to him if he can find an excuse to do it. “Having a skater boyfriend is a lot hotter than being a skater myself.” He had once said when Dylan pretended to be annoyed that he had to teach how to ride a skateboard for the nth time.
Dylan feels giddy like he did almost three years ago on their first actual date. The need to impress Jun is back and seeing how Jun tries to be funnier than usual to make him laugh makes him crack a smile at every minute of the date. As the night goes on Dylan realises that his nervousness is not about being on a second first date with Jun. It’s about being on a date with Jun, point blank. He has that giddiness and nervousness that settles inside of him that is so familiar any time he is with Jun. A feeling that derives from the fact that he is able to spend time with one he loves the most, his person, and he never wants to lose a memory of that.
When they walk back to Jun’s dorm (they had spent almost ten minutes arguing who was gonna drop who home because heroes deserve to be taken home too ) Dylan finds the courage to initiate contact and hold Jun’s hand. Maybe courage is not the word because he never lacked it. He had just set a boundary that he decided to ignore for the night out of pure selfishness.
“I had fun tonight.” Jun says, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips and kissing the back of his palm.
“Me too.”
“Next time I’ll take you home.” He says when they reach his door.
“I look forward to it.” Dylan smiles. Their hands are still intertwined, but Jun is once again tapping the side of his thigh with his other hand. “What’s on your mind?” He asks.
Jun looks at him with such tender eyes that Dylan already knew what he was going to ask.
“Can I kiss you?” Dylan doesn’t allow himself to speak and just nods. He knows if he were to speak he would probably say no. Not because he doesn't want to kiss Jun – in fact he wants to kiss him in ways that would be indecent for the public – but because it is deep down a bad considering the true nature of their relationship.
Jun doesn’t waste time in holding Dylan’s face with his free hand and initiating the kiss. It’s tender in the way all their kisses have been, feverish like they hadn’t seen each other for so long and they’re pouring all their yearning into it. It feels like Jun can feel how much Dylan misses him and he misses Dylan just as much. It’s intense in the way that makes Dylan’s heart ache because he couldn’t possibly live without Jun anymore. When he tries to pull away to catch his breath, Jun chases his lips and pulls him back in. His hand went from holding Dylan’s face to the nape of his neck, as if to stop Dylan from even thinking of moving again. Dylan grips his shirt and pulls him impossibly closer, the kiss becoming more desperate as the seconds pass but harder to keep going without breaking for air.
Jun pulls away first, panting and smiling. Even with just the illumination from the street lights, Dylan could not escape the intensity of Jun’s gaze. Not that he wanted to.
“Is this how you kiss all your first dates?” He teases.
“ You kissed me.”
“And I want to do it again.”
Dylan rolls his eyes but can’t help but smile. “I have to go home.”
Jun nods and brings his hand to Dylan’s face to pull him for another kiss. Just a touch of lips that lingers for some brief seconds. “Get home safe. Text me.” He then pulls their intertwined hands to lips to leave another kiss. Once they finally part Dylan can finally feel how sweaty they actually are, but he already misses the touch.
“I will.”
The high he feels from the date drops quickly. He doesn’t want to start a new relationship with Jun with a barrier of secrets in between. He also doesn’t want to delay his confession and string Jun along, making him wait for something he has no idea of. If it’s not meant to work out the second time round, then he has to rip the band aid off as soon as possible for both of their sake.
His shift the next day goes slow, he is distracted throughout most of it and if it were not for his supernatural reflexes he would’ve broken at least two plates and three cups.
Jun is waiting by the front door like he has done so for the past few days. Yoon gives him his usual teasing look that has Dylan blushing. He does his usual routine of clocking out, wearing his grey hoodie on top of work clothes and saying goodbye to his coworkers.
“Brought you some taiyaki from the Japanese bakery next to uni.” He brings the bag he is holding forward and takes the fish-shaped cake.
“Thank you,” he says, taking a bite out of the cake. “Not many know I have a sweet tooth.”
“Not many know you like I do.” He smiles. Dylan’s heart skips a beat.
Once they reach the rooftop Dylan reaches for the bag and takes out another taiyaki. He will tell Jun the truth after he eats. It’s polite of him to eat it all considering Jun purposely bought it for him.
Jun chuckles, “you’re always such a clumsy eater.” Like a cheesy scene of a kdrama, he holds his thumb to wipe the trace of the filling on the corner of Dylan’s lips and while maintaining the eye, he brings the thumb to his lips and licks it.
Dylan chokes on a bite he was chewing and coughs embarrassingly.
“Damn I was just trying to be hot. Didn’t think I would cause this much of a reaction.” Teases Jun.
“Next time don’t act weird.” He counteracts.
“You’re the only one acting weird today.” Jun teases again. “I definitely know I’m not a bad kisser so I don’t think it’s about that.”
Dylan blushes. “It’s not about that.”
“It’s not? Does that mean I can get another kiss?”
Dylan falls into the natural rhythm of their banter. “What makes you think I want another kiss from you?”
“Well I know for a fact that you haven’t been kissed like that in a while.”
“You don’t know that, I could’ve been kissed like that by your competition.”
Jun smiles playfully. “I’m not worried about a competition that I have always been winning.”
“That kiss has made you cocky.” Dylan playfully pushes him away.
“It made me obsessed and I need another one.” Jun leans closer until their faces are inches apart. Dylan inhales softly under Jun’s focused gaze and the way his eyes shift from looking at his lips to maintaining eye contact. “Can I have another kiss, Dee? Hmm?”
Dylan is not able to nod properly before his lips are attacked. It’s not as soft as their last kiss. Jun kisses him like he is starving, like yesterday’s kiss was just an appetiser and only now is he actually being served a meal. Dylan melts into the kiss, opening his mouth when he feels Jun’s tongue asking for permission. It makes Dylan feel dizzy, like all his senses are gone and hyper focused all the same time. Then everything comes to a stop as he realises exactly what Jun had called before the kiss. Dee.
No one else calls him that. He doesn’t really like it but it is endearing when Jun says it. He only says it when he wants something and he knows Dylan will give in. Not Dyl, like most of his friends call him. Dee.
And Dylan would call it a coincidence, (It’s not.) if not for what Jun has been saying since he picked him from the restaurant.
“Not many know you like I do.”
“You’re always such a clumsy eater.”
“Well I know for a fact that you haven’t been kissed like that in a while.”
“I’m not worried about a competition that I have always been winning.”
Dylan pulls away despite Jun’s whining and looks at him. The boy is pouting at having the kiss broken and Dylan fights the urge to kiss him again. He would if the situation wasn’t as important.
“You know.” He speaks.
“Know what?” Jun asks, confused.
“About me. About us.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, I know.” Jun adjusts his position and sits properly.
“Since when?” asks Dylan.
“Since the kiss yesterday. Truly magical.” Jun smiles, the banter back in his voice.
Dylan furrows his brows. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Jun shrugs. “Because I knew you would.”
Dylan sits with the information for a while, a silence settling between them.
Jun eventually breaks the silence. “Do you think it was a true love’s kiss?”
“What?”
“That broke the spell. Do you think it was a true love’s kiss? Because you’re stuck with me forever if our love broke the spell of a powerful magician.” Jun smiles.
That makes Dylan feel guiltier. “I’m sorry for breaking our promise. I just– I tried but I couldn’t do it.”
“Dylan, that is gone. Let’s not dwell on it.” He takes Dylan’s hands. “Besides it just got proven we’re soulmates so I would always end up meeting you again in any timeline, under any circumstance. I’m such a good kisser I broke a powerful spell.”
Dylan rolls his eyes. “Is that gonna get to your head now? Are you gonna be annoying about it?”
“I will never shut up about it.” He smiles and gives him a quick kiss. “You look better when you’re snarky, it’s like you’re getting your colour back.” Dylan thinks so too.
“I will never let you go again.”
Jun kisses him again. It’s softer than the last kiss. Sweet, like a reintroduction to their relationship. Like a seal of their promise. One that Dylan won’t ever break again.
Jun pulls away. “There is just one problem, though.”
“What?”
“The others still do not remember you and you’re definitely not kissing them.”
That is fine. Dylan can figure that out after this moment. He will tell them the truth and maybe they will remember. Maybe they won’t and they will have to build memories all over again. He has Jun by his side to help him figure it out.