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Oh, how she wished that she did not know how she ended up like this, how bad she wished she had been tricked in some way, how bad she wished, she had an excuse. Really, she knew that would only be fooling herself, Ronova knew this was her own choice. She sat up in the bed, still feeling the wetness in her, it felt like filth.
Had she really been so weak as to give herself to a human, why, despite her origins, did she give into simple, carnal temptation.
Ronova felt a strong urge to retch, she couldn't look at the man sleeping beside her. How could he be so peaceful, so satisfied? Surely, when he awoke he would feel the same crushing guilt as she.
‘no, why would he?’ Ronova asked herself, of course he wouldn't, he had been the one to make the blasphemous request, he wouldn't have if he saw it as something repulsive!
Xbalanque had come to her, that day, he even had the balls to ask her to appear in a slightly less eldritch form. He had kissed her hands gently, told her she was so very beautiful, despite (or perhaps because) of her unnecessary amount of eyes. His fiery eyes had looked into the ones on her face, igniting something in her she did not know she desired.
In a soft voice, totally unlike the one he had bargained with, he had asked her if she wanted a “compensation” for lending him her power. She knew she should have said no, the Heavenly Principles would absolutely punish them for such a foul crime; no god, no greater entity should ever look upon another, especially a human, with lust. Love was the one thing that should be shared equally.
But she didn't decline, the Heavenly Principles never did appreciate her in any deeper way than a tool, her sisters viewed her as a mere comrade, and the humans were frightened of her.
But Xbalanque never feared death. He had told her as much when convincing her of their deal, he had proven as much when he fell to his death, in battle against the living corpse of Xiuhcoatl.
She knew she should have said no, but how could she pass on the one chance she had of being loved.
Nausea filled what felt like Ronova’s soul. Her entire body was shaking, she couldn't stand the thought of the Heavenly Principles’ reaction, if there was any. They would probably stare at her, with a silence that meant white-hot rage. The first angel had been punished so very harshly, she had been left without a body that could no longer sing the songs she loved so much, no mind to contemplate her favourite poems, her fragmented existence held together only by a grief she did not remember. What would they do against their own shadows betrayal?
The room felt small, and sweat trickled down every part of her naked body, she had to get out, she had to beg her master for forgiveness, tell them she did not know what she agreed to, the treacherous Pyro Archon had taken advantage of her innocent desire to be cherished! Xbalanque turned in the bed, sighing softly, unaware of what she was feeling . No, no she couldn't do that, that excuse had gotten her an unconvinced scoff from her king last time. She couldn't frame him for such a crime, he didn't deserve that.
Ronova got trembling out of the bed, mostly from anxiety, partly from the... passion of the encounter… for shaking hands, even putting her garments back on was a challenge worth prizes. The silken clothes were a black and blood red, ‘I never did wear white’ she thought, even her mind felt like a fever. Her self-pity was interrupted bu the noise of the man stirring awake, alert, she turned to him.
“Ugh.. What are you… Are you leaving so soon?” he muttered, still drowsy, “I’ll prepare a bath, prepare some..” he stopped himself mid-sentence, finally opening his eyes fully, his vision clearing, seeing Ronova’s face, not a single eye was anything less than wide open, sharp and terrified. He tried to move closer to the edge, seeing that she was desperately holding on to the clothing rack, but as soon as he stepped on the floor, Ronova spewed out whatever contents she had in her stomach. “Hey! Hey, hey, hey, should...should i get you something, some water?” he tried, but he could not see her reaction, her expression hidden by her shoulder and her hair.
Offering his arm, Xbalanque moved closer, but as soon as he could feel her body heat, she shot up straight, she didn't look at him when she said “This did not happen, understand? If someone heard us, you had a date with a lucky human lady. Not a word.” it was clear she was trying to sound harsh, threatening even, but Ronovas voice was so hoarse and shaky, that it came out as a plea. He could not respond before she merged with the shadows of the room, and disappeared.
Xbalanque did not fear death, he embraced it.