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Sam's knuckles wrapped against the door timidly. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to be here or what he was hoping to achieve. The door to Alice's parents' home loomed over him dauntingly, and he contemplated bolting for it but Alice made the decision for him by eagerly slamming the door open. He knew as soon as he laid eyes on her that she'd done nothing but await his return since they last spoke.
'Sam', she exhaled as though she had just received a punch to the gut. Her eyes red rimmed and as wide as dinner plates.
Sam didn't entirely trust his resolve if she were to resume crying in his company. He had no idea what he might do, though he sensed what she wanted what you wanted him to be. He knew he could never be that. What was he doing here? All he was certain of was that he had seen pain and isolation in Alice's eyes, and he couldn't bear to leave her suffer alone.
"Well come in then", Alice invited in a forced overly jokey tone before adding a hushed yet desperate "please". Before allowing himself a moment to once again second guess his decision coming here, he briskly traversed the threshold. Alice released a long and shaky breath, gave herself a small shake and stepped back into action, leading the familiar path to her parents' kitchen.
"Cuppa?", Alice tried and failed at nonchalance. Her eyes betrayed her, unable to tear away from Sam as though he may disappear at any given moment. Sam reminded himself that he was reserving judgement. This was Alice. Granted, not the Alice he knew but it was still as close to his Alice as he had any hope of reaching any time soon. This is what they've always done, helped eachother. Resolve strengthened, he was eager to ease some of the pain that shone in her eyes.
She wasn't built for pain. Bureaucratic drudgery and bitter sarcasm? Absolutely. But seeing this sharp and hostile agony tearing her apart tugged at his heartstrings in a way that he couldn't ignore.
"That would be lovely", he managed, and then surprised even himself with "can I give you a hug?"
Alice froze, looking for all the world like a deer in the headlights and Sam instantly feared the worst. He had overstepped. She was grieving her lost husband. What good was some cheap imitation?
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- I just thought maybe- but I completely understand" he stumbled through a sequence of word vomit, face reddening, "it's just this place, its so new and frankly unsettling and I don't know if I'll ever see my Alice again-", Sam broke off at the way Alice's eyes welled up at his use of 'my Alice'.
"I'm sorry, I should just go", Sam tried again, hoping to make his mouth behave a little more.
That seemed to snap something loose in Alice as she took a quick step forward and rushed out, "Please don't leave". Seeming to remember herself, she reigned in the crazed look on her face, lowered her shoulders and adopted her usual joking demeaner, "glad to see that one thing that remains constant across alternate universes is that you, my dear, are absolutely awful at emotional intimacy but I will, in my merciful way, take you up on that hug", finishing somewhat awkwardly.
The next thing Sam knew, he had wrapped his arms around Alice and his desperation for familiarity and comfort won over him, succumbing to the physical intimacy. So he did the only thing that felt right and held on for dear life. He held fast while Alice tentatively returned the hug at first, while she tightened her arms around him like a vice, while the sobs wracked her body. It could have been minutes or hours, Sam didn't care. He had Alice. He was in this strange alternate dimension with nightmare logic but she was solid, real. He knew he could never be what she wanted him to be but maybe he could be what she needed him to be. Someone to wrap her arms around, a shoulder to cry on, an anchor to reality, a friend.