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I am on the floor in front of God. In a rotting church where I will be judged for my sins. The ceilings cracking and the floorboards dig into my knees. My hands are gripping something as if it is a lifeline.
I am begging for mercy. There is none from God.
There is no mercy from Tyler. I am aching like I do after a fight.
No.
Like you ache with a cold. My throat is sore. I want to cough, my nose is runny. And I cant tell if I'm hurting so badly because of the fact I got my head smashed against the wooden planks or because I don't know wether to feel hurt by Tyler or appreciative.
The tension had been building for a while. I was pissed off about something. I think it had to do with Tyler saying that I wasn't at rock bottom. Maybe it was my anger towards him ignoring me.
Maybe I had asked for this.
Asked to be choking on a cock in the kitchen of the house on paper street. Was this the only way to have gotten Tyler's attention? Act like some upset girlfriend?
I was upset, I think, I am actually pretty sure there had been a big struggle initially after-
"Why? Am I supposed to be your fucking babysitter too?"
Tyler that's not what I meant-
"No, no it's exactly what you meant, man. You want me to be your fucking daddy, hold your hand until you can figure out who the fuck you are. I mean you have no sense of self, pretty boy."
Don't be an ass, Tyler. I was just asking if you and I could talk about-
"Up here, pretty boy. Right now, here. Not anywhere else, you've gotta let this soak in." Tyler chuckled. Red knuckles locked tight onto my own brown threads. Finally he'd stopped pounding my throat, I could breathe. I was really trying to remember how I got here. At one point I think I'd tried to say no.
A stinging bright pain on the left side of my face shook me from my thoughts. I looked up, tried to, with my face buried to the hilt in Tyler's crotch. He smelt like sweat, musk, and man. It's a strange smell but it's Tyler and it's vaguely familiar.
"You look like a fucking girl."
Do I?
I suppose I would, I think I stopped crying, there's no tears left in my eyes pouring out. But I assume my eyes are also puffy and red from my aforementioned tears.
The tug on my hair is back and suddenly the feeling of being stuffed full is taken from me. I was just starting to get used to it too. Now though I am off Tyler's cock, dazed and confused, there's saliva connecting my mouth to his pink tip.
Tyler's dick is a porn dick. It's straight, long and thick. That's why my throat feels raw. It's pink, red, angry. Like it's punishing me. Tyler's dick is hard because of me, I guess that makes me feel special.
My time to admire his cock is cut short as he pulls me back onto it. My jaw aches from being forced open again, and the taste of precum on my tongue is familiar. It's slams the back of my throat and i want to gag, I think I'm attempting to cough. Hips move forward and I try to move back, but with finger in my hair am kept still. I am shaking, I am hard. It hurts, I can't breathe as my lips close around thick cock. The noises are awfully obscene and I really do feel like a girl as I'm pulled in and out. Like I'm a fucking doll. Like I'm a sex toy.
I am a warm wet pussy for Tyler to fuck into.
It hurts again the way that I'm taking it, he's set a rhythm for me. He thrusts in and out, brutally. My throat convulses around him when it stays there resting for a second. Before it's torn from my mouth and I'm coughing trying to breathe and then my mouth is rocked into again. My throat hurts, I'm crying again and I'm trying to breathe, I'm trying so hard to-
"Breathe, before you do something stupid, again."
Tyler is on top of me, my nose is bleeding and I want to pass out.
I threw the first punch, I started this. It's only fair that Tyler ended it. Like most of our fights, it ends with some bruising and blood on both of us but ultimately with me under Tyler. I had gotten a nasty right hook and then on the ground Tyler slammed my head against the rotting wood. Luckily I didn't get any splinters.
Right now I was just looking up at Tyler, angrily. Stupidly.
I look like a fucking idiot. Tyler is right, I'm like a needy child.
Tyler's staring me down, I can tell. But I can't bring myself to look at him. I can feel an awful soreness in my left cheekbone. I know it's probably a dark purple. I know this because I know that Tyler is looking there because Tyler thinks I look good with bruises.
Not 'tough'.
Pretty.
I stopped bucking against him, I'm settled, his hands still pinning my arms. He's looking at my bruises. My chest is heaving.
I can't hear what he's saying, all I know is that I feel humiliated.
He's grabbing my face by the throat, dragging me around, holding me in place.
"You wanna be taken care of, huh? Is that it? You want someone to take care of you?"
I am shaking my head.
I am leaning into the hand at my throat.
I am scared and I am accepting.
There's a moment where I do look at Tyler. His eyes are full of humor. He's amused by this.
You're right Tyler, you're right I'm a stupid petulant child.
Tyler smiles at me, it's crooked and it wonderful. And it's awful and it hurts me.
"You just need someone to teach you your place, huh?"
I'm back to bucking, I am trying to shove him away and it's futile. He punches me straight across the face, my hands catch me on the floor. I'm still on my knees and I know that when I look at him, he will shove me down again.
I'm trying to catch my breath after he shoves me down again. Tyler grabs my hair, I'm so disoriented, I can't see straight.
Then I'm choking I'm gagging. I'm looking up at Tyler begging him not to do this. Tyler laughs.
His cock is shoved deep, it's made a home in the back of my throat. I gag, my body is trying to reject Tyler. I grab onto his thighs, I'm trying to push my head off, but Tyler is setting a rhythm.
He pushes out, looks at me, fingers brush my chapped, moistened lips. I say please. I don't know what I'm asking for.
Tyler grabs my hair, pulls lightly, so it's not painful. He taps my cheek, I know he wants me to open wider and so I do.
There are tears running down my face, there is precum dripping down my chin. I am bobbing pack and forth on the cock in my mouth. It's heavy on my tongue, it's even heavier down my throat. But I have come to terms with this, I am finding comfort in the rhythm.
Until that's taken from me too, because Tyler is-
Picking up pace, leaving me shoved right against his pubic bone. I want to breathe, these little quips of air are awful. I want to tell him to stop.
But he goes on, he pulls out, looks at me like I'm nothing and shoved back in. And then he starts going fast, grunting and moaning. Pulling me on and off.
There's gagging noises coming from me, I'm trying to heave, because I can't take it, I can't take the shove of cock anymore. I'm trying to shove him off, but there's more precum.
Tyler slips past my lips and then back in. I am trying to look at Tyler again but I can't, my brain is being shaken up in my head. My mouth is wide open and being used like a flesh light.
Tyler goes in and out roughly, and for the last time as my futile attempt to shove away is thwarted he comes down my throat. There is a dick shoved deep down my throat, there's come spilling into my mouth.
It's bitter and salty. I am choking and crying all over again, I am dragged off Tyler cock and I fall into the side of his thigh.
I am left there in the floor of the house on Paper Street. I am lonely and I am needy and Tyler gave me what I needed.
Right?