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The room atmosphere never felt so heavy: a dark aura flew around within the walls, words were not being spoken, mouths too preoccupied to even yell at each other. After a whole full year, Renjun found himself trapped in a room he once called comfortable and homey.
“I just need you to be honest with me, please” Answers were the only thing he was looking for, he wanted his overthinking to go away, to be false “Just tell me who he was and why he was texting you so late, that’s all I want to fucking know. Just be honest with me, please”
“What the fuck do you want me to say?”
“That you had your fucking dick in him. That everytime you were with him you were with me, you were thinking about him.”
“I’m not going to apologise for cheating if that’s what you want. It’s not like you weren’t thinking of Mark every time we fucked, but whatever”
“Are you actually serious? Mark and I have been broken up for three fucking years and you’re still pulling this shit.”
“It’s not like you were going to forget about a five year relationship when you started dating me. It's obvious you can’t use your brain for anything, Renjun. You’re so fucking stupid you are ma–” That was all Renjun needed to hear before his hand made contact with his boyfriend’s, well ex now, face. He didn’t care that he was mocking Mark, but mocking his own boyfriend sent him to the edge.
“Get the fuck out.”
“What?”
“Get the fuck out of my house, now. We’re over.”
No response came from the other, there was no need for one, he was lost once again, with no one by his side to be with him.
What happened during those five years with Mark were not to be forgotten and they definitely weren’t meant to be used as a gotcha moment, by a guy whose whole personality was being an athlete.
What made him fall in love with Mark wasn’t present in his now ex boyfriend, and that’s what he hated. He hates that even when three years have passed he can’t get over how good Mark made him feel throughout the relationship, and how he can’t seem to fully get over him.
He hates how haunted he is by a guy he has known his entire life.
He hates how he can’t seem to hate him.
And finally he hates how he’s still friends with him, just because he can’t seem to leave him fully.
He needed someone with him right now
—-
“As I was saying there is no way Chenle is straight, dude. Do you see the way he gets when Jeno’s around? He’s like how I still am with my Jaemin.” 10 times. In a span of 2 minutes Donghyuck has mentioned Jaemin 10 times. Mark just wanted to have coffee with someone, not listen to how in love Jaemin is with Donghyuck and vice versa.
It’s not like the last time Mark has felt in love with someone was three years ago. Whatever.
“And you know what, I bet jeno would jump on Chenle if he found out he had a crush on him.”
“And how do you know that Jaem?” That’s right, Mark not only had to hear about the love they have but he also had to third wheel them. Yay!
“I have my ways. Well it’s four so I’ll leave you two alone, I promised Jisung I’d help him buy groceries. Bye Mark, bye baby.” With a wave he was gone.
Bye baby. Why was he thinking of Renjun?
“Melk, have you heard anything about Renjun? He still hasn’t called me today?”
“Why would I know? I barely talk to him”
“ ‘Cause I know you are thinking about him. You have a weird specific look when you’re thinking about Jun. You look like a kicked puppy without its owner”
“Fuck off.”
At that moment, Donghyuck’s cell phone started ringing: Junnie, it read. What could he possibly want from him?
With a simple movement, Hyuck picked up the phone.
“Hello? I thought you were dead, why didn’t you call?”
“He cheated on me, Hyuck.”
“What?”
“You were right, he was cheating on me. Why am I so dumb?”
“I’ll fucking kill him.”
“Just please come over.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Mark didn’t know what was going on. He just knew Donghyuck was fuming.
“We’re going to Renjun’s, come on.”
“I’m not going.”
“It’s either you fucking go or I’ll drag your dead body with me.”
As they left, no word was exchanged. No conversations, no music, no radio, nothing. Silence filled the walk, the car ride filled with an uncomfortable, unspoken energy.
—-
Everything seemed so slow for Renjun, even though one hour had already passed. He just wanted his best friend to hold him, to console. He just couldn’t go through this alone, not again, not three years later.
Spacing out was the only thing he could do. Until the door opened, two people entered his apartment, trying to look for ways to be with him without invading his space.
Wait. two people.
With tears still in his eyes, Renjun managed to spit out “What the hell is he doing here with you? No offence.”
“Trust me it wasn't negotiable.” He mentally thanked Donghyuck. He knew the only person that could comfort him was Mark, it still was.
“He’s the only person you trust, even though you don’t want to admit it, so spill.”
He explained everything, obviously leaving the details where Mark was insulted, he wasn’t feeling like hurting another person today.
As the explanation went, hours went by, the dark gloomy moon filling the windows, not bothering to remind the three boys about it.
“It’s 11pm already? Fuck, I have work tomorrow.”
“Hyuck just go, I’ll stay with Renjun, don’t stress about it.”
“I can be alone, Mark, just go, it’s late.”
“I’m fucking staying and you won’t change my mind.”
No one bothered to reply, to fight back. Mark didn’t mind if Renjun didn’t talk to him. He just didn’t want the person he most loved to suffer in silence.
“I know you didn’t tell the full story so spit it out.”
“I fucking hate how well you know me.” In response the older boy just smiled, not even bothering to argue back. He knows when to shut up.
“I’m not sad I got cheated on. I just wanted Donghyuck to not ask questions.”
“I figured.”
“I told him I just wanted to know if….you know…was getting his dick sucked by someone else” Why is the thought of Renjun being with someone else bothering him so much? “ I just needed him to be honest. I stopped having feelings for this man ages ago. I just wanted to end things. And he confirmed it, didn’t apologize and then……”
“And then what?”
“And then he may or may not have mentioned that when we have sex I think about you fucking me instead of him. He said I wasn’t over you and that I liked the toxicity we had. Told me I’ll never get what I had with you with anyone else.”
Fuck, yes. “Was he right?”
“I can’t believe how cocky you are. And here I was pretending to be an actor suffering so I wouldn’t hurt you. You know I was only crying ‘cause he called me dumb.”
“That’s a difference between him and I,” A cocky smirk reappeared again on Mark’s face “But you know, you haven’t answered what I was asking? Was he right….” He started leaving forward and whispered “.....about you thinking of me when you were getting fucked?”
There was no answer. Not with words, at least. His lips parted, just slightly like he was about to speak, maybe deny it, maybe insult Mark, but no sound came out. His eyes were doing all the talking anyway. Glossy, wide, vulnerable and furious all at once.
“You did, didn’t you? Thought about me… every time he touched you.” Renjun’s jaw clenched, like he hated being known so well. Like he hated how much Mark could pull from him without even trying. Mark’s fingers ghosted up the side of Renjun’s neck, slow, deliberate.
“Say it.”
“I’m not giving you the satisfaction”
Mark’s smile curled wider, almost too gentle for what he was about to do.
“You already did, baby. With those eyes. With that mouth.”
And just like that, his grip slid into Renjun’s hair and pulled, not too hard, just enough to tilt his head back and make Renjun gasp. Mark’s mouth was on his throat in seconds, kissing, biting, marking him like it was his territory.
Renjun let out a shaky breath, his thighs twitching where they touched. Mark’s free hand found the hem of his hoodie, Mark’s old highschool hoodie, tugging it up, and Renjun let him, raising his arms like he wasn’t already shaking with anticipation.
“You missed me that bad, huh?” Mark rasped, dragging his palm down Renjun’s stomach. “Even let someone else fuck you and couldn’t stop thinking about me.”
“I barely let him do anything,” Renjun snapped, breathless and defiant, “He couldn’t even make me come.”
“Shit.”
In a second, Renjun was on his back, Mark’s hand on his throat just firm enough to hold him still while he slid between his legs. He leaned down, nose brushing Renjun’s cheek, lips hovering.
“Open your mouth for me.”
Renjun obeyed, lips parting, and Mark slid two fingers in, slow and deliberate. Renjun sucked without hesitation, tongue curling around them as his eyes fluttered shut. He moaned when Mark pulled out, not shy about the mess. The older moved lower, spreading Renjun’s thighs with a possessive grip, muttering like he couldn’t help himself,
“Can’t believe he had this and didn’t worship it. Fucking idiot.”
Renjun scoffed, breath hitching as Mark’s mouth brushed down his stomach. “You’re not much better. You left too.”
“Yeah? Then maybe I should remind you why you haven’t been able to forget me.”
And he did.
He devoured him. Slow at first, soft little kisses on the inside of his thighs, biting just enough to bruise, until Renjun was whimpering. Then rough, mouth wet and messy and unrelenting, like he was trying to make Renjun forget anyone else ever existed.
And Renjun was falling apart.
One hand tangled in Mark’s hair, the other digging into the sheets. His thighs were trembling, his chest heaving, voice breaking when he hissed, “Fuck—Mark, Mark , you’re so….”
“What? So good at making you forget he ever existed?”
“Shut up ,” Renjun moaned, voice wrecked, “You’re so full of yourself—like I didn’t fuckin’ make you weak too.”
Mark’s eyes flared.
“Oh yeah?” He sat up, shoved Renjun’s knees higher. “Say that shit again when I’m inside you.”
Mark didn’t wait. He pushed Renjun’s legs up with a hunger that bordered on desperate, kissing up his chest, frantic, open-mouthed, biting just enough to leave marks where he needed and wanted to see them later. His hips were grinding down like he couldn’t hold back, already painfully hard, cock dragging against Renjun’s thigh as he muttered “Fuck, I missed this. Missed you .”
“Don’t get sentimental on me now.”
Mark growled desperately “I don’t care. I don’t care if you think I’m pathetic. I want you so bad it fucking hurts.”
His hands were trembling slightly as he lined himself up, not from nerves, from restraint. From trying not to lose it the second he got inside. Because this wasn’t just sex: This was Renjun. The Renjun he thought he lost three years ago. His Renjun.
“Look at me when I fuck you,” Mark said, voice low, hoarse, needy . “I need to see you. Need to watch your face when I’m inside you.”
Renjun did. Their eyes locked as Mark finally, finally pushed in: slow at first, just the tip, but it already had his jaw going slack, breath stuttering.
“Shit—baby…so tight… fuck, I forgot how perfect you feel.”
Renjun whimpered beneath him, nails dragging down Mark’s back.
“I don’t think you ever forgot about me.”
Mark snapped his hips in, deep, and stayed there , fully buried, both hands gripping Renjun’s thighs like he was grounding himself. He was shaking, head dropping to Renjun’s shoulder as he gasped out,
“I didn’t. I never did. I touch myself thinking about this. About you. Every fucking time for three years.”
“Of course you do. You always begged for me.” That broke something in Mark.
“Still begging. Still fucking starving for you. You don’t get it, this is mine.”
His hands found Renjun’s face, tilting it up. “You’re mine,” he whispered against his lips, “Aren’t you?”
And Renjun, despite the teasing, the defiance, the bite in his tone, shattered under it. His voice cracked.
“Y-Yeah. I’m yours.”
Mark kissed him, hard and fast and deep, the kind of kiss that said I love you without saying it. The kind that tasted like need and apologies and everything unsaid. And when he pulled back, eyes glazed, voice cracking, he whispered,
“I don’t just want to fuck you, Renjun. I need to. I need to be inside you until you stop thinking about anyone else. Until you forget what it was like without me.” And then he showed him.
Thrust after thrust, Mark buried it all in, the guilt, the longing, the obsession. One hand gripping Renjun’s thigh up high, the other tangled in his hair again, pulling just enough to draw out another needy moan.
“You’re perfect,” Mark panted, forehead pressed to Renjun’s “Fucking made for me. Say it. Please , just say it.”
“I… I think about you every time . No one…fuck…no one’s ever made me feel like this.”
That was it. That was everything .
Mark fell apart with a broken groan, thrusting harder, faster, losing all rhythm as he buried his face in Renjun’s neck, whispering a stream of breathless praise:
“So good for me, so tight—so perfect, baby, you’re everything, everything —I missed you so bad—gonna make you feel so fucking good—”
Renjun’s arms wrapped around him like he didn’t want to let go. And Mark, needy, messy, unraveling Mark, whimpered into his skin like a man who finally had what he’d been starving for.
Mark was still trembling when he came deep inside Renjun, moaning his name like it was a prayer and a confession all in one. He stayed there for a moment, buried in him, kissing every inch of skin he could reach, whispering soft, cracked things like “mine” and “I missed you so much” and “you’re so good for me.”
Renjun just let him. Fingers in his hair, soft and slow now, grounding him. But when Mark finally pulled out with a soft hiss and tried to move away, Renjun tugged him back by the wrist.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“To clean you up?”
“Later.” Renjun was already sliding down the bed, settling between Mark’s legs with a slow, dangerous smirk. “You said you missed me, right? Thought about me every time you touched yourself?”
“Yeah…”
“Then sit back and let me remind you what you’ve been missing.”
Before Mark could even reply, Renjun had him in his mouth, deep . No warmup, no hesitation, just a wet, messy slide that had Mark’s head falling back with a choked moan.
“F-Fuck—Junnie, baby—” Renjun loved that. Loved watching him lose all that cocky control in seconds. His hands gripped Mark’s thighs, holding him down as he swallowed around him, slow at first, then faster, letting spit drip down his chin, letting Mark see how filthy he could be when he wanted to be.
“Shit— shit , you’re too good—how the fuck are you still this good—”
Renjun pulled off for just a second, lips slick, eyes shining. “Told you,” he panted, breath hot on Mark’s skin, “You ruined me.”
Then he went back down, taking him deeper . And Mark sobbed his name when he came again, shaking, hand flying to Renjun’s hair to hold on for dear life.
Mark cleaned them both up after, careful and quiet, pressing soft kisses to Renjun’s thighs as he wiped him down. Then he pulled him into his arms, hoodie tossed over Renjun’s shoulders, Mark still shirtless, pressed chest to chest.
“You okay?” he whispered, hand in Renjun’s hair.
“Mmm. Sore.”
“Good. You deserve it.”
Renjun smacked his chest without force. “Shut up.”
“Seriously. You okay?”
“Yeah. Better than I’ve felt in three years.”
—-
At 7 am, there’s a knock at the door. Renjun’s still wrapped up in the blanket, dozing off on Mark’s chest.
“I’ll get it” Mark murmurs, untangling himself and stretching, not even bothering to put a shirt on.
He opens the door.
And there he is — him . The ex. He’s standing there holding something dumb like Renjun’s hoodie, trying to act casual, like he didn’t just humiliate the man he claimed to care about.
But what he
wasn’t
expecting… was
Mark
. Shirtless. Sweaty. Bite marks on his neck, fresh scratches down his back.
Looking like he just got dragged through heaven and didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon.
Mark raises a brow, all smug politeness.
“Oh. You.”
The other boy’s face twitches. “I-I just came to drop this off for Renjun. Wanted to talk.”
Mark steps aside just enough to call over his shoulder, loud and lazy:
“Baby, your other ex is here. Do you wanna talk to him or should I tell him you’re busy recovering?”
“Tell him I’ll call if I ever get bored again.”
The boy’s face drops . His eyes flick to the scratches on Mark’s back one more time, and something in him snaps : jaw tight, fists clenched, jealousy written all over his face.
But Mark? Just smiles sweetly and closes the door in his face .
“He looked like he was gonna cry.”
“Good.”
Mark grins, pressing a kiss to Renjun’s collarbone. “Told you I’d take care of you.”