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Tokyo’s weather is the sweetest at this time of the year, the spring air cool but permeated with the unique tone and scent of cherry blossoms.
Ren can hear conversations and laughters. Other people are here to appreciate the nocturnal blooms too. That’s usually what Ren does, even alone. At night, most people in this area prefer to ride barques to admire the spectacle rather than walk, which means fewer risks to be spotted — thus mobbed by a horde of fans. Convincing Sakuma to come here at night rather than during the day wasn't hard.
Cherry blossoms are gracing their path, their branches hanging above their heads like weeping willows, the warm pink lights bordering them beautifying the sight.
But the gleam and the beauty of it will never rival Sakuma’s.
Bathed in a pink color swallowing his hair, Sakuma looks beautiful. The childish awe in his eyes, the innocent smile adorning his full lips... Experiencing these fragments of his being is a privilege Ren would trade for nothing in the world.
And whenever he’s alone with him, Ren feels warm and complete. Actually the most complete he’s ever felt in a relationship, and it scares him badly.
Sakuma is older and more experienced in that area despite being an idol too. He’s Sakuma after all. Meguro Ren, as a brand, sells well. He knows that. But Sakuma retains people, has something that goes beyond his looks. A magic Ren sometimes selfishly wishes Sakuma would reserve only for him.
But what if he ends up losing Sakuma because he couldn’t keep his feelings in check and confessed?
What if this relationship signs the collapse of everything he and the rest of the members have been working for, all these years?
“Meme.”
Ren startles, jolted out of his thoughts. He tries his best smile, looking into Sakuma’s doe-eyes.
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
Ren likes to believe he’s one of those people able to maintain a poker face no matter the circumstances. However, Sakuma and he have that deep connection that makes it impossible for either of them to lie to the other.
He doesn’t want to ruin the moment and make things heavier than they should be, though. Because Sakuma, more than anyone else, deserves something light, something easy. Perhaps easier than what he can offer.
Swallowing around the knot in his throat, Ren's about to spout a white lie when Sakuma reduces the distance between them and cups his face with his hands.
Ren hurries to scan the street, but Sakuma’s hands keep his head in place as he searches for his eyes. Ren gives up, the tension tugging at his shoulders easing up at once as he leans into Sakuma’s touch, eyes closed.
“Sorry,” he whispers against Sakuma’s palm.
“It’s okay. But tell me what’s wrong,” Sakuma’s voice is soft, but his concern is palpable in it.
The silence forming between them after that is solemn but comfortable. It’s an embrace, one Sakuma can’t offer physically right now but one Ren feels nonetheless.
He wouldn't be able to say how much time passes before he finally decides to open his eyes, still leaning into the touch.
If Ren were to follow the tradition, he'd admire the blossoming of cherry trees and meditate on the bittersweet impermanence of life.
But he can do that gazing at Sakuma instead.
So he does; lets his eyes wander on Sakuma's face, admires the way the constellation of dark moles adorning it looks under this pink filter. Willingly looses himself into Sakuma's eyes, where tiny golden dots are dancing like shining stars.
Sakuma is ethereal.
Love and memories are said to be fleeting things. Ren hopes this one will survive the test of time, and remain forever etched on his memory.
“I was just thinking about how my love for you feels new every day, like these cherry blossoms that come back each spring,” Ren eventually says.
Sakuma's eyes widens at his words.
He didn’t exactly say the truth, but he didn’t completely lie either. He’s scared that their love won’t last.
But isn’t it because the cherry blossom petals die each year that people can admire their blooming the year after with the same awe?
“Meme, when did you become that cheesy?” Sakuma asks with a sweet smile on his face, his thumb drawing circles on Ren’s cheek.
“When I started loving you,”
And without thinking, Ren leans over and grabs Sakuma’s lips into a deep, slow kiss. Sakuma is quick to respond, moving his lips against Ren’s with the same intensity, sending a dash of adrenaline through Ren. They shouldn’t be kissing in public, but Ren has been dying to do it for a while now, to taste heaven surrounded by the lights.
Ren anchors his hand on Sakuma’s waist, earning a whimper that makes him feel lightheaded. Their noses brush against each other as they kiss, eager to taste each other. Ren strengthens his hold on Sakuma’s waist, but feels his lungs burning with the lack of air soon enough. After one last kiss, Ren reluctantly parts away.
Sakuma is gazing deeply into his eyes, his warm breath fanning over Ren's lips and Ren already wants to kiss him senseless again.
“You were supposed to be the most reasonable one in this relationship,” Sakuma murmurs in a loving tone, still a little out of breath, eyes flickering down to his lips before diving back into his. Ren can decipher so many things in them. Desire, mischief and love; so much love that he feels like his heart is about to burst from it.
“Well, I’ve changed,” he says before giving one last peck at Sakuma’s lips.
The smile forming on Sakuma's lips at these words is worth more than Ren could express.
But it says, for sure, that things will be alright.
So, as they resume their walk, hands stealing touches at times, Ren decides to focus on the present time for once.