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The burns and cracks across my worn down being taunted the remainder of clear spots I had left. Impacts from asteroids and other space junk barely bothered me as I truly didn't know a time where it was any better. My memory of the past wasn't clear and rather covered by a thick layer of mist. Not even smells or emotions brought up any memories as much as I tried.
Was it always this blurry? Trying to remember a time that was better. But maybe it was useless.. Trying to bring up something that possibly never existed. Of course it never did.. Why would someone like me experience such? Poor victim me.. Never had a good life to begin with. What a fucking shame.. It's pathetic. My thoughts are pathetic.. And delusional..
My core burned with a nauseating pulse, making me curl into myself further. Pain spread further as the motion made my healing scars rip open, a hot liquid leaking down slowly.
The sun with all it's glory only spared me a it's darkest possession, regarding me with blank, burdened eyes. Everyday brought a new sense of dread as I stood before what I thought would be my greatest escape when in reality, chains wrapped around me protectively and tightly.. Everyday I stood before him, accepting a cold reward for my unconcentual willingness to stay close despite it killing me. And that was my reality. Stuck in a repeating cycle of agony and familiarity, letting the chains wrap around tighter and tighter until it was choking me. What was life without the sun? The warmth and light. What was life without the burning cold and blinding flares?
Could I survive without it? Life without my best friend? The one that's always there for me? So close.. Too close... Leaving isn't an option. That I am aware of.
My eyes glanced over to the trio in the Goldie lock zone, clearly comfortable as they played cards. Completely content in their own worlds. Their ignorance somehow tendes to hurt more than the sun's aggression. At least it felt like the sun cared.. Always looking after me even when I feel like i'm being strangled by his presence. Their ignorance felt underwhelming, making me restless while the sun's overwhelming antics exhausted me.
Venus was.... Like I mixture of both. Seething like hot magma while simultaneously making my core run cold like ice. I could almost see her in his eyes
His gaze struck me like a slap to my face, often freezing me in place. My heart always skipped a beat.. For better or for worse.. I couldn't stand him. Oh how I loved them... Not that it mattered now.
My scalp still burned from the harsh pull from him, forgivable bruises marking my shoulders and chest. He was not a kind planet.. Not anymore.. But it. Didn't. Matter..
Not anymore.. Never again.. And even as the blinding light of the sun began to obstruct my vision, I pushed on. Because it won't matter.
Not when I'm dead.
The scalding heat began to run along me in waves, making me grind my teeth again painfully. At last, my skin began to roast from the flares, slowly starting to cook me alive. My eyeballs felt like they were going to pop.. The last thing I remembered was the sun's horrified expression before I lost consciousness..