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Life went to absolute shit when Minho's mom announced they were moving to Seoul because his dad wanted Minho to attend a better school. Follow the bright career path they wanted for him. Minho didn’t care about grades or his career in the fancy city of Seoul; he cared about everything he’d have to leave behind. Everything boiled down to one person— Han Jisung. Minho would’ve dropped out and if it meant he could stay by Jisung's side a little longer.
Sixteen years old and already made a promise to stick by his younger boyfriend's side throughout high-school, and forever forward. To never separate and that they'd face the rest of their lives together. Follow each other to college and move into a small house with cats Minho always wanted.
But now, their beautiful dream was torn apart and trampled on right in front of him. Reality hit hard, shattering everything he knew.
Slammed doors in frustration, and hot tears lulled him to sleep every night. When he was given only a week to pack his life away and tell Jisung about moving and needing to break up. To break his heart and leave him behind with the rest of his life there. It made him feel sick to his stomach that he could barely pack the first few days without crying.
Minho can't say how many times he asked his parents why and made reasons why they shouldn't leave. His father had a great job here. What about family- they had none here. Any excuse that led him back needing to stay behind with Jisung.
To allow him to hold his hand tighter and tease him a little longer until his cheeks are flushed and he’s pouting. To watch his heart smile with his little crooked tooth as they spoke about their future together. Minho knew it was the only hope Jisung had left in his home-broken life. Even when Jisung was everything his parents didn't want for Minho, Minho would do anything to keep him.
Disrespectful, rude, filled with curse words and confidence that fuelled his hatred for the world. The anger that dragged him by the heart and chewed at his nails and picked at his skin. But Minho saw through all that. He saw Jisung as an insecure teen who just wanted to be heard, known. To have loving parents that didn't kick him to the curb after every argument and shun him for dating Minho, a boy. Made him feel stupid for his bad grades in school and took his door off the hinges as punishment for letting himself be ‘tainted’ by sin.
Their hands stuck together in every hidden corner they could find. Under desks and slipped into jacket pockets. Sharing shirts and whispered promises that made them giggle and want to grow up faster. Minho loves Jisung and met him knowing he was his forever. No words needed to be exchanged before his heart just opened up and swallowed Jisung whole. That every part of his being just knew.
Oh. It’s him. Even as a hormonal teenager that changed his mind every few days, his heart knew. Stayed. It moulded into the shape of his heart smile and shaky hands.
Jisung didn't take the breakup well, he stood there crying, staring at Minho. Eyes spilling with never-ending tears and lip bitten hard enough to bleed. Jisung never cried before, not in front of him at least. Not when he showed up on his doorstep with a bag saying his parents wanted nothing to do with him anymore, eyes hollow and shoulders slumped further than usual.
Not when he fell off his skateboard and broke his nose, biting back tears as they went to the emergency rooms. Not when the class pet that Jisung loved so much, took care of for a year, passed away and left him absent for a few days.
But there he stood, hot tears falling immediately and fast. His face contorted with a mix of every painful emotion. But his eyes screamed what he struggled to say. Why?
Minho promised Jisung they'd see each other again after school. Somehow. Holding him close in his warm embrace while his shoulders shook, apologizing for having to do this. That Jisung will forever be the love of his life and the person he wants to be with forever. That he would come back for him. Find him again and again. It’s empty promises, just left with hope that fate would bring them together once more.
Minho leaves, giving Jisung a bracelet he made himself. It's green and pink beads which became their favourite colours overtime. Jisung was upset, acting out and angry as any teenager who got their heart broken would. But he stayed in Minho's arms every night until the morning he had to leave. Where he gave Minho his very last kiss and a hug that left Minho holding himself in the plane and crying. Being unable to erase the image of Jisung standing all alone, crying silently until he was out of sight.
They never stayed in contact. Jisung didn't have a phone at the time because his parents didn't allow it, and Minho forgot to leave his number in case he ever did decide to get a phone. All that was left was the shirts of Jisungs he took with him, the paper crafts and letters they wrote to each other and the bracelet Minho refused to ever take off again.
Life dragged by, slowly and painfully. There wasn't a day Minho didn't think of Jisung. Waking nightmares of the day they broke up and him at the airport. Thinking of his face through the many men he kissed to dwell his ache. But none of them were Jisung. Minho went through a lot in that period Jisung wasn't by his side.
Parents splitting up, getting himself multiple jobs so he could move out and getting into college on his own. And every day he wore that green and pink, now tattered and faded, bracelet he made for both of them. And how he still looks at the wrists of strangers first wherever he goes, hoping to find the exact same one on it.
First day of classes, Minho feels anxious. It took him long enough to get his life together in the first place. Yet the fact of now getting back into a proper routine and starting over again makes his chest squeeze. How many times does he have to start over before he finally feels like it's the right start?
Taking up a dance major and an extra music major for the sake of ‘more qualifications’ as his father put it. First class, he slips to the back row, avoiding all eye contact and sits on the last open seat. Sinking into the chair with a low sigh, not paying attention to the two guys on either side of him. He doesn't care. Why should he? He's not here to make friends and they both seem to be in their own world.
The man on his left is buff, like properly built and letting off loud high-pitched cackles next to him, it annoys Minho slightly. He doesn’t understand how anyone is so energetic so early in the morning.
The guy on his right seems more kept to himself. A grey hoodie he sinks into, head on his crossed arms, seeming passed out on the desk, waiting for the class to start. Minho doesn't blame him. Sleeping seems way better than focusing on the dull room with spread out people that talk about nothing important to Minho.
Their professor is late, his excuse being he didn’t want to get up this morning because he was cold. Minho chuckles. The man gets straight into the lecture. The cackles stop and the head beside him lifts off the table, soft sound of a yawn and arms move to fix his hair and pull down his hood.
And Minho sees it. He feels his whole body stiffen and stomach twist painfully. Minho doesn’t know if he remembers how to breathe. If there was a heart monitor attached to him, it would flat line for a hot second and they’d pronounce his time of death.
Pink and green that dangles from his wrist. Tighter now than it was when he gave it to Jisung. Better taken care of than his own. But Minho knows that's the one he made for Jisung all those years back. The matching bracelet. Minho can tell from a mile away it's the exact same one. Before Minho can think or consider his actions, he grabs the man's arm, earning a startled yelp as he pulls his wrist to inspect. He’s right. The M, heart and J are there. Surrounded by thick green and pink nylon threads Minho had to find at a small thrift store close by
“Uh- Hi uh, you're kinda hurting my arm,” the all too familiar, but more mature voice rings in his ears. A voice that’s grown deeper, but sounds the same to his heart. Minho takes a moment to register, gulp down the knot in his throat and let go with shaky hands. He tries,
“Jisung?”
He frowns slightly and rubs at his wrist, seeming confused but more scared. Like Minho would suddenly jump on him or tell him his address and family details like a stalker or upcoming serial killer.
“That's me. Do I know you?”
Oh.
Minho chokes. His heart squeezes so painfully tight as his throat closes up. He knows it's Jisung. Every part of him screams it's the boy he fell in love with and loved since. Now grown into a man he hoped he’d be with once again one day. He’s grown. Older. Jisung seems to no longer carry that immediate dislike towards new people. Minho doesn’t know how to feel about that.
His eyes soften. Those words tear through his body. Did Jisung forget him? While Minho spent the last eight years carrying his longing for him that locked his heart away from everyone else. A love and longing he only carried for Jisung and refused to let go. That he would carry for another twenty years if it meant meeting him like this again.
“It's me, Minho,” he says, an ugly feeling filling his gut at the thought of needing to tell Jisung who he is.
Jisung’s brows furrow, lips doing it's adorable pout when he thinks a little too hard. Minho hopes his name will ring a bell and Jisung will realize it's him and jump into his arms and say how much he missed him and never moved on either. It’s a fairytale dream. One that kept him up at night and sat heavy on the bed besides his one night stands. Yet it never happens. All he receives is a sad shake of a head. Minho wants to throw up.
“Sorry. If we've met before. It must have been while I was still a teenager, right?” He asks softly, trying to piece together the situation while Minho looks like he's going to crumble into a million pieces in front of him.
“Uh- yeah. We dated at sixteen. Before I moved away,” Minho says, feeling glass scraping his throat. A pitiful look Minho absolutely hates crosses Jisung's face for a second. Then it fades into something else, eyeing Minho up and down before letting off a small, long missed laugh. The sound makes Minho's heart flutter all over again. His laugh never changed, just sounds more full of life.
“I must have been very lucky to have a handsome guy like you at sixteen. Especially when I heard I was such a troublemaker,” Jisung giggles, lips curled into his sweet, heart smile. The worries and hesitance for Minho, a stranger, seems to slowly seep away. The words make Minho freeze and the realization that there could be more to Jisung just forgetting him hits him.
“Heard? You don't remember anything between us? What happened?” Minho feels like he's intruding, but his curiosity gets to him. Eats away at him. What could cause Jisung to lose a memory that’s the biggest part of Minho’s life. He's a stranger to Jisung. Someone who just grabbed him and claimed to date him during the teenage years he doesn't remember. Their promises. Minho’s now the only one who knows them.
Jisung is quiet for a moment, biting his plump as ever lower lip. A part that Minho missed giving quick, inexperienced pecks to.
“I don't remember you at all. I'm sorry. I was- I was in an accident when I was twenty and I lost all my memories. So I don't remember anything growing up or the start of adulthood,” Jisung says, voice softer. Sad. Like he misses what he doesn't know he had.
Minho gulps, gently taking Jisung's arm and showing his bracelet next to his. “I'm sorry,” he starts gently, “I didn't know. I didn't mean to jump you and assume. But I'm serious when I say we knew each other. I made us these before I left. I never took mine off.”
Jisung lets a small smile peek out, staring at Minho's matching bracelet. He fiddles with it and finally looks up to meet Minho's eyes. The swirl with a mix of emotions. Aching, being the only one with their memories.
“It's okay, really. But... You feel familiar in a way nothing else has before... I can't explain it. I never took off the bracelet even after I recovered. I remembered nothing and maybe felt nothing for a while too after I woke up.” There's an empty, sad chuckle, “but the bracelet always felt like something warm. Familiar.”
Minho looks away for a moment. His heart races and his thoughts fall over each other. The pain still comes from the fact Jisung was in an accident and he wasn't there to be by his side. He knows there's nothing he could have done either way. But maybe, when Jisung woke up with him by his side, he'd remember Minho. He pushes the thought away painfully. It’s selfish.
“I'm glad- about the bracelet. And that you recovered. Fuck, Jisung. Your memories- everything,” Minho feels so hopeless for a moment. Here they are together, randomly, after the longest eight years of Minho’s life, and he’s the only one who sat with the last four years of pain and longing. Jisung frowns and gently places his hand over Minho's, rubbing it gently.
With no memories, Jisung somehow still finds himself leaning into Minho. Finding him comfortable. Familiar. A warm feeling that swells at his chest and his brain aches to remember what his heart already knows. Especially with how distraught Minho looks knowing he doesn't remember. A stranger that feels like a man he knew all his lives before.
Jisung doesn’t remember they spoke of that once.
Thirteen.
Jisung said, “I think I knew you in my life before this, and the one before that. That's if you believe in that reincarnation bullshit.” A foul mouth for a kid. Minho nods, hums with a gentle smile. “I think so too. I think I'll follow you through every lifetime,” Minho replies. Jisung gapes, blushes and sticks his tongue out.
Minho never forgets that moment.
“I have an idea,” Jisung suddenly says after what seems like a few moments of very hard thinking, making Minho finally lift his head.
“What?”
“Make me remember.”
“Huh? What- how-?”
Jisung smiles, mouth curved into the perfect heart shape Minho missed more than words could ever say. “I said, make me remember. Do everything we used to do with me now. Tell me stories and make me remember. And if I gain my memories back, it's a win for both of us. And if I don't, just make sure to have made me fall in love with you again by then.” Jisung is confident, challenging. A part of him that Minho knew so well growing up together. His chest squeezes.
Minho is stunned, double blinking at him before his mind immediately grabs at the challenge. Minho’s certain he would find ways to bend the earth if it meant Jisung could feel a fraction of what Minho felt for him. And still so deeply feels. Jisung takes his hand, just like they used to, and gives a firm shake.
They used to shake on challenges. Bets. Anime with different assumptions of the ending, and whoever lost faced the penalties. Minho didn't mind losing. It meant he saw Jisung do his victory cheer in Japanese and imitate an anime character of the show he won the bet to.
“I hereby declare to make you fall in love with me again, remembering or not,” Minho says, confident, proper like a royal servant speaking to the King to prove his worth for his son's hand in marriage. Jisung lets off a cute giggle and swats Minho's leg, embarrassed from how he made a few heads turn. Give him a firm shake back, squeeze of the hand, heart smile and return a, “I can't wait.”
They exchange numbers- now that Jisung finally has a phone- and over a few days of texting, chatting during and after lectures they definitely aren't listening to, coffee dates, Minho finds out Jisung stays in the dorms on campus. That he came to Seoul after a car accident and that's when his parents finally stopped giving him hell and just sent him here instead to start over.
He's only doing a music major and has a small music group called 3racha with his two other roommates. He apparently got tattoos as a teenager sometime, and his parents only found out after the accident and that's when they had enough to send him all the way here. They didn’t follow him, just paid for his therapy he needed for the last few years. He still attends sometimes.
In return he learns about Minho's three cats that stay in his apartment that he bought himself, staying just around the corner from the campus. What happened after moving to Seoul with his parents divorce and working to move out on his own.
He left out most of the darkest times he had when he could barely cope after he left Jisung behind. Jisung doesn’t need to know the mess he was without him.
Jisung listens with his head tilted slightly, a small smile on his face as Minho describes the worst date of his life or the many part time jobs he did that landed up with quitting or getting fired over stupid things. Jisung laughs. Heartily. Minho’s chest squeezes. He tells him more to hear it just a little longer.
It doesn't take long at all for them to be sitting side by side, fingers intertwined after finding each other between them, sharing drinks and meals. Minho finally tells Jisung stories about their sappy teenage romance. How it seems so childish but so cute to him now, and how giggles smiles fondly, a tinge of sadness in his eyes, he seems to think the same. Minho hopes Jisung will remember the feelings at least.
Minho finally met Jisung’s roommates and group, 3Racha, which consists of him, Changbin- the buff guy who sat next to him in class the first day they met- and Chan. Who is a ray of sunshine in the form of a father figure.
Obviously very protective of Jisung and weary of Minho at first. Minho felt like he had to prove himself to get the fathers approval. His chest squeezes in an odd jealousy he knows he has no right to feel. That someone else got this close and protective over Jisung.
They all get along surprisingly well and bring Minho into the friend group with the rest of their little clan. Jeongin, the youngest, funny and outgoing, yet sly with his little tricks and schemes. Seungmin, a man who sticks to himself, but sharp, quick to quip back at Minho and butt heads playfully. Felix who nearly blinds Minho the first time they met. His pearly teeth and angelic aura that's followed by his bright personality. He sticks to Jisung’s side like glue. Minho almost worried at a stage that they were dating but was quickly reassured when Felix got kissed square on the lips by Changbin and Hyunjin. And fuck. Chan too.
Their dynamic took a while to get used to. Hyunjin. Practically sculpted by Aphrodite herself, yet embodies the dramatic personality of a drunk white girl who’s had one too many drinks. Minho wonders how such a beautiful man exists. Then again, Jisung exists too, so he guesses it really is possible. He’s dramatic, loud and Minho enjoys every moment of it.
It's an odd group of friends, each personality is different, yet he can’t see them without each other. Like they all were made to meet and become this group of mixed lovers and friends. There are obvious crushes, shared sneaky looks, lovers all over each other and Minho notices Jisung is the only one who isn't fawning at one of the members. His heart settles slightly to the thought.
Instead they all tease and take care of him like a kid they adopted and now- happily- all take responsibility for. Jisung shines between them. Happy and outgoing. Himself.
Parts of himself only Minho got to see. He hates the ugly possessiveness he swallows down. Jisung is in his best space with all of them, Minho is nothing but grateful he found them when he needed them most. When Minho wasn’t there. That eases it a little. Jisung only grows closer to Minho as he sinks into the rhythm of their group and dynamics.
Going from Felix cuddling him and sitting alone on the floor, Jisung finds himself right attached to Minho’s side, whenever they sit. Hands subtly trying to hide their embrace, even if they have no reason too. Everyone knows the story about their teenage years together when Minho joined. Yet, just like love struck, giggly teenagers, they hide and sneak the growing of their fondness for each other. It’s always been there, Jisung just has to allow himself to feel it all over again.
There’s no label. There’s no confession. Just sink into each other like two rivers merging, flowing together in a quiet, unspoken, understanding that feels as natural as breathing. Being around each other is as natural as breathing. Their bodies fit and mold perfectly into each other when they connect. Their conversations flow into everything, just like old times. Meeting for the first time, once more, they connect.
Minho finds himself more and more at the 3Racha dorm than his own apartment. He’s never slept over, it being a boundary they have yet to cross for the second time. The tension lingers between them over time, growing stronger. The group notices and Felix has a way of nudging or “accidentally” pushing Jisung closer to Minho. Changbin is more excited than anyone for them, making bets here and there, smirking as he wiggles his eyebrows at Minho when he catches a peek of their hands together.
Minho joins Jisung at his dorm for the weekend as they cuddle on the couch. Grown into each other's sides. Jisung is partly facing Minho while their legs are mingled together. He’s telling Jisung of his wonderful behaviour as a teenager when they dated.
“No way. I can't believe I said that to your parents!” Jisung gasps out, rubbing his face in frustration and humiliation. Minho just lets off his high-pitched laugh at the memory. A sweet, ‘aah’ ending it off. “I told you you were a little shit. My parents did not appreciate being told to suck a dick and the following or you'll suck mine,” Minho teases and Jisung yells in embarrassment, kicking his legs between Minho’s and squirming. Covering his ears.
The stories only got worse.
“Please tell me you’re lying. I did not do that.”
“Oh yes you did, Sungie. Stole straight from a family-owned business and had us banned from ever being there again.”
Jisungs looks horrified, cheeks red from all the blushing, laughing and yelling he's done. He sits in disbelief, probably hoping that Minho is in fact lying and he wasn’t this mess of a rebellious teenager Minho recounts for him.
There's a long pause of silence, Jisung biting his lip, brows furrowed in attempts to remember. He sighs and pouts in the end, coming to the conclusion that maybe it's better off being unremembered. He rests his head on Minho’s shoulder and sighs.
“Did I just hate everyone?”
Minho feels his chest tighten.
“No, never me.”
Jisung goes silent, mouth open just like he always did, his cheeks filled further with blush, eyes darting away shyly. He bites at his adorably plump lip Minho can’t draw his eyes from and finds himself moving closer in, their hands still holding onto each other.
Jisung, despite his embarrassment and shyness, leans closer too. Bodies naturally gravitate towards each other. Using his free hand, between his fingers and thumb, he lifts Jisung's face by the chin to make him look back at him. His own brown eyes linger on Minho's lips for a second too long before their eyes lock once more.
Caught. He’s always been caught staring. Both of them. Sometimes Minho continues to stare at Jisung’s lips after their eyes make contact, letting him know.
“You know, the first time we kissed was on my bed. We held hands just like this,” he gives his hand a squeeze, “and you just kept glaring at my lips. I almost didn't get the hint. You always hated asking for the sappy intimate things. Too ‘manly’ for it apparently. But I leaned in anyways,” Minho giggles and he feels Jisungs breath hitch, leaning into his fingers as his lips twitch, lashes fluttering.
“And then...?” Jisung asks softly, waiting, licking his lips, when Minho doesn't continue.
“I took your face like this,” Minho leans in, breath tickling Jisung’s face, “and asked: baby, can I kiss you?”
Jisung's eyes close as his hand squeezes Minho's, other gripping onto his shirt tightly. Seeming to completely fall apart at the seams as soon as Minho utters those words. He nods barely. Whimpers.
“Please...”
Their lips meet halfway, and they fit perfectly into each other. Their bodies move on their own while their mouths move slowly against each other. Like Jisung's trying to feel how Minho's lips felt. Get a taste. The plushness of his top lip would remind him of their innocent pecks that barely lasted a second, but the shape of his lips engraved permanently into him.
Minho's hand moves to Jisung's waist and helps pull him onto his thigh, kisses growing more eager and desperate. Trying to catch up on every moment they could have been together but missed. Jisung lets out a high whine into Minho's mouth, him groaning in return. Nips at lips and tongues eagerly finding each other, dancing in sync. They find each other naturally even though they've never kissed like this before.
Jisung's hand moves to grip at Minho's nape, fingers tangling with the longer strands of hair with light tugs. Their hands still hold onto each other, squeezing as their bracelets jingle with the movements. Even if it was uncomfortable in their position, Jisung didn't let Minho's hand free. Holding onto it like if he pulled it away, Minho would disappear.
The hot sweat of their palms reassures Jisung in a way he can't explain. Grounding him to Minho’s real presence. As if the heat of his body and messy kisses aren't enough.
As the hot kisses grow wet and become a mess of tongue, clashing of teeth and Jisung's soft sweet moans. Hips rocking against Minho's thick thigh against his will, mind too foggy with the growing lust to stop himself. Minho happily flexes his thigh and guides Jisung’s hips to rut against him. Breaking away from the kiss with a thick string of saliva connecting them, lips kiss bruised and wet.
Jisung moans and throws his head back, eyes rolling as he grips Minho’s hand so painfully tight that he groans. Gripping at his hair as his rutting against his thigh breaks rhythm and just becomes more eager, just needing to get off. “Fuuuuck! M-Minho! Nghhh aah!”
“Fuck baby, just like that,” Minho uses his free hand to grip Jisung and push him down harder, loving how Jisung began falling apart in front of him. The rapid rising and falling of his chest. The deep red flush kisses Jisung’s honey skin down to his neck and into his shirt. Thighs trembling as his release grows near and faster.
“Hahhh- Need- Fuuckk I need to- Ah-” Jisung loses himself, thighs straining and burning but pushing for the friction that presses painfully hard against his cock. Staining his shorts with precum. Minho groans to the sight, hard in his own pair of jeans that strain his dick. All he focuses on is making Jisung cum from his thigh alone.
“Such a good boy, baby. Fuck. Cum for me, Sungie. Cum from fucking my thigh pretty boy,” Minho pushes his thigh upwards and Jisung practically cries to the words alone. Body tensing as he cums in the confinements of his shorts, shaking and moaning borderline pornographically.
“Ah! Fuuuuck! Yes! Yes! Min- nghh!” Minho has to hold onto Jisung and keep him grinding to ride out his orgasm. It’s the most beautiful sight and sounds he’s ever heard. Minho watches the blissful and so fucking hot, scene of Jisung poorly moving his hips, shaking and crying with the intensity of his orgasm.
Minho knows he’s going to be having endless wet dreams after this. Jisung slumps against Minho’s chest, panting and twitching, rubbing his face in his neck like a cat. Heavy breaths as he takes a few moments to come down from the best high he’s ever had. He feels a warm hand rub at his back in soothing patterns, calming him and letting him relax.
Safe, warm. Jisung feels like he's in heaven in the comforting arms of an angel. When his head starts to clear, he realizes the situation. He just came in his pants from rutting against Minho’s thigh. He didn't even get Minho off.
Quickly pulling back, wincing at how sensitive and uncomfortable his dick feels in sticky pants, his eyes dart down to Minho's straining erection. He whimpers. The bulge makes Jisung’s mouth basically water as he craves to feel and taste the full length of Minho’s cock, even without seeing it yet. He knows he wants it inside him. Jisung’s palm reaches for Minho’s pants to palm him, and he hisses, grabbing Jisung’s hand and stopping him.
“Baby, you don’t have to. Getting you off is more than enough.”
Jisung pouts, and slips off Minho’s thigh awkwardly, making Minho sit up quicker, thinking Jisung is now upset and wanting to leave. Instead, he sinks to his knees between Minho’s thick legs and hears the man curse and groan under his breath as he makes himself comfortable between them. Their hands still refusing to let go as Minho follows with Jisung’s every move. Big brown, hazed eyes stare up at him, mouth hanging open, spit slicked lips. Jisung rubs his nose against Minho’s crotch.
He twitches. Swallows thickly.
“Fuck, baby. You look so good on your knees for me,” Minho curses, moving his hand down to let his thumb rub across Jisung’s lower lip, his mouth opening and guiding his finger in with his tongue. Pressing down the pad of his thumb on his tongue as his mouth closes around it and sucks. Eyes never leaving each other. Minho lets out a low sigh, obviously trying to control himself, wanting Jisung to go at his own comfortable pace.
As he sucks on Minho’s finger, swirling his tongue around and prodding at the tip. His free hand moves up to unbutton Minho’s jeans with a little struggle, but manages to unzip. Thumb slipping from his mouth with a wet string of saliva. Minho is quick to help Jisung pull down his pants and underwear, cock finally springing free.
Minho groans to the cool air and his eyes move down as he watches Jisung’s expression. Mouth agape, wet as his eyes practically ogle Minho’s dick. Jisung swallows thickly and makes himself more comfortable as he wraps a hand around Minho's pulsing length. Both moan to the feeling.
With a few slow strokes, mixing with the copious amounts of precum Minho has already leaked. Lips find the tip and press a soft kiss before running his tongue over, and giving sweet little licks. Lapping at the precum. Minho lets off a low sound and fingers grip harder at Jisung’s hair, making the younger moan and eyes flutter shut.
He kisses and swirls his tongue, poking at his slit making Minho moan and begins growing impatient with how horny he is. Wanting to push Jisungs head down and choke on his cock. Using all self-restraint to let Jisung do the work.
“Mhhn baby... You taste so good... Hahh, I could kiss and taste your cock forever,” Jisung slurs, cockdrunk as his tongue explores the rest of Minho’s dick. A little bigger than average, more girth and with the prettiest curve Jisung can’t wait to choke on. He tongues at the thick vein and Minho throws his head back, squeezing his eyes shut.
His thighs flex in attempts to stay still. “Fuck- baby. Yes, so good. Make-out with my cock, hm? Wanna see your lips on it and take it like a good boy,” Minho is panting softly, voice rough. Jisung moans in return as he places more kisses and drags his tongue over his cock.
Taking his time to appreciate every vein and curve, slurping at the precum that continues to dribble out. Minho feels his toes curl as his cock only throbs and twitches against Jisung’s pretty, wet lips. When he lifts his head, to find Jisung staring up at him, he finally wraps his lips around his head.
“Fuck. Shit. That’s it, baby. Take more of my cock, baby boy,” Minho gently pushes Jisung’s head down, taking more of his cock into his mouth and moaning around him. The vibrations and delicious warmth make Minho’s head spin.
Jisung’s tongue flattens against his dick as he hollows his cheeks to swallow more and more. Watching Jisung sink down on his cock, never breaking eye contact is a sight Minho never wants to forget. Pretty lips wrapped around him as begins to move, letting Minho guide him with small tugs and pushes of his hair. Seeing as Jisung enjoys letting Minho still be in control.
Minho moans, eyes never leaving Jisung’s. When he reaches the back of his throat, gagging around his dick, Minho can’t help how much he loves the feeling. He tries to pull Jisung off so as to not choke him, but he only presses further until his nose is brushing against his hair. Throat tightening in restraints to gag. “Holy shit baby. You took me so well. All of me, baby. Fuck- wanna fuck your pretty throat-” Minho groans and feels Jisung pull off with a wet, lewd pop.
Before he can think he did something wrong or hurt Jisung, Jisung is nodding. “Fuck-” rough, deep swallow, “my throat. Please.” Minho’s eyes shoot open as he feels his cock throb to the words. Jisung lazily stroking him, waiting for his approval. Cursing and throwing his head back, taking a moment to consider it. Finally with a slow nod and hand slipping down to cup Jisung’s cheek gently.
“If it’s too much, tap my thigh two times and I’ll stop, okay?” Jisung nods. “I wanna hear you say it, baby. Understand?”
Jisung gulps.
“Yes, I understand. Two times,” Jisung repeats, throat hoarse already.
“Good boy. You can stop me anytime, I won’t be upset, okay?” Minho says more than asks.
Jisung wraps his lips around Minho’s cock again and looks up at him, waiting patiently. His hand grabs onto Minho’s thighs for stability. With a deep breath, his hand grips Jisung’s hair. Tight. Pushing Jisung slowly down on his cock until he’s about halfway, only to buck his hips upwards with a loud groan. Jisung’s cheeks hollowed and eyes squeezing shut. Throat closing with every thrust that hits the back, gagging sounds and wet moans from Jisung that only make Minho shove Jisung’s head faster onto his cock.
“Ah-! Fuck baby.”
Using his mouth as he would the fleshlight in his drawer. But now he doesn’t have to imagine it’s Jisung. Watching with lidded eyes, mouth open with choked moans as he fucks himself into Jisung’s mouth. Pretty tears and spit drip down his face and he squeezes Minho’s hand tightly. He squeezes back.
The hot, wet mouth around his cock and the younger's choked and gagged moans make Minho’s stomach pool with warmth and body begin to tense. Orgasm builds fast as his thrusts stutter and lose their rhythm, now just focusing on coming.
“Shit! Shit! Ah- Ngh, baby- fuck. I’m gonna- gonna cum. Ahh- Fuck ‘m gonna fill your throat- ngh- with my cum. Swallow- hn- everything, baby.”
Jisung lets out a loud whine as his response and Minho fucks into his mouth eagerly, throwing his head back with a loud, deep guttural moan. He fills his mouth and fucks his cum right down Jisung’s throat, holding him down throughout his orgasm as his thighs shake with pure bliss. He sees nothing but white as his whole body is on fire with pleasure.
Two taps on his thigh and Minho quickly lets go of Jisung’s hair, letting him pull off. With heavy coughs and thick swallows, Jisung tries to get everything down his burning throat.
“Fuck baby- sorry, was I too rough?” Minho is filled with concern and Jisung immediately shakes his head. Sticks his tongue out and shows the remnants of cum and spit mixed on his tongue, showing he swallowed everything. Minho curses and leans down to press their lips together.
He can immediately taste himself on Jisung’s lips and he groans. They kiss slowly, mixing the taste between their mouths until it’s small pecks and licks. Minho finally pulls back and cups Jisung’s cheek gently.
“Are you okay, baby?” Asking gently, wanting to make sure he didn’t go too far, Jisung smiles and pecks his lips once more.
“I’m- Hgh- I’m fine, I promise. My- My throat just hurts. I needed to pull off to- to swallow properly. It felt good. I- I even... I came too...” Jisung’s throat is barely there, rough and fucked out, probably painful to speak as his nose scrunches. His words make Minho relax and look down. Cum dribbling down Jisung’s thigh from under his shorts, stained even more.
“Fuck. You’re so hot, baby. Holy shit.” Minho needs a moment to process, not let himself get turned on again. But he’s so fucking hot it drives him insane.
Jisung weakly tries to stand up, Minho quickly grabs onto him, needing to let go of his hand. Now red and wet from sweat and the intense gripping. Before Jisung can ask why, pout is already there, Minho sweeps him off his feet, making his yelp in surprise. He kicks off the rest of his jeans before he carries him to the bathroom.
Jisung holds on tightly to Minho and giggles, letting off a pleasant, blissful sigh. Even though his throat aches and he feels sticky and disgusting. He can’t help but enjoy every feeling. Minho sets him down on the toilet seat and begins running a bath.
Watching him intently, how the shirt he’s wearing barely covers his ass and the expanse of his thighs are in view. Jisung swallows painfully. Now being able to see the actual muscle and thickness of his bare thighs. His head spins.
“Get in the bath so long, I’m gonna make you some tea and get painkillers for your throat okay baby?” Minho turns to Jisung and squats down to his height. Jisung forces himself to not focus on the flexing of his bulging thighs.
“Thank- Ahem- Thank you. You won’t join?” Jisung asks and winces painfully, pouting on his lips, almost looking like he’s gonna protest to not bathe on his own.
“I’ll join you after getting your stuff. How's that? Then you can drink tea while I hold you?” Jisung instantly perks up and it makes Minho melt inside. Pecking his lips before Jisung can respond. Their lips linger against each other, breathing into each other's space.
Neither want to move. Minho feels himself being pulled towards Jisung and his every move. That if he leaves this room he’ll find Jisung on the couch like it never happened and it was all a wet dream. Jisung obviously fears the same as a hand reaches for him again.
Minho allows their fingers to intertwine again and their lips begin moving against each other. Slowly. Nothing like before. It’s sweet, gentle. Love and longing bleed onto each other's lips with every swipe of tongue and graze of teeth. Minho finds every emotion of those years pouring out of heart as he clutches Jisung’s hand tighter.
Jisung whimpers into his mouth, body leaning forward into Minho, wanting to wrap himself around his body and heart once more. To lose himself in the taste of his last cup of coffee and plushness of his upper lip, slotting right into his plump bottom one.
A gentle hand cups Jisung’s soft cheek and he allows the warmth to embrace him. To lean into the hand he spent years holding as a teenager and the familiarity sinks deeper into Jisung’s bones. The few pecks they shared growing up, the holding of smaller, rough hands. Jisung’s body knows, remembers and sinks into it just as easily as he did back then.
He wants to curse his memory for being the only one to not remember. Jisung’s not sure how he could ever forget Minho when he fits perfectly into him like his other half. Since the day they met once again, Jisung felt that strange emptiness filled with the shape of Minho and the love he carried since their goodbye.
His body screams and aches to fill himself with every part of Minho once more and never let that feeling and memories escape him. To allow the past to pour back into his bones, but it never comes. Jisung just feels a familiarity that feels like deja vu. Like he’s experienced everything before, but his brain can’t put a moment and image to it.
His chest squeezes. He can feel it all. As his heart aches and clings onto Minho, nails digging into his skin, Minho doesn’t hesitate to swallow every emotion. Allowing Jisung to lose himself to the feeling of everything he aches to know once more. To never let it go.
When salty wetness reaches Minho’s tongue, he slowly pulls away to find the source. Jisung’s eyes remain closed as his lips twitch from the ending of the kiss, only evoking more tears to stream down his cheeks.
“Oh baby... What’s wrong?” Minho’s voice is soft, concerned. Using his thumb to wipe away at the dampness running down his face. Catching a few on his finger. Jisung shakes his head, opens his mouth, and a small hiccup escapes instead. A reassuring squeeze to his hand has him leaning to Minho.
“Take a breath baby. One at a time. Do it with me okay? In,” Minho inhales and Jisung shakly follows, filling his lungs with air, “out.” An exhale of relief. He follows Minho until there’s no tears left and he can breathe again.
“Can I get anything for you? Anything I can do for you?” Minho asks gently and Jisung shakes his head.
Deep breath.
“I- I can’t remember. I’m- I’m sorry-” Before Jisung can start with more tears, Minho shushes him with a gentle kiss. Pressing his lips to Jisung’s, then each eye, his nose, cheeks, temple and bridge. Ending with a lingering one on his lips.
“Don't apologize, baby. There’s nothing to be sorry for, okay? You’re here with me at this moment, right? That’s all that matters baby. You’re with me now. We’re making more beautiful moments together. Where I can...” Minho looks down at their hands intertwined, seeming inseparable.
“I won’t leave again, I won’t let you forget me again,” Minho kisses Jisung gently once more and the other nods slowly, processing every word one by one.
As much as it hurts to see Jisung cry, Minho is relieved Jisung doesn’t hold back his emotions like he used to. Jisung doesn’t speak, swallowing dryly which makes him cough. Minho slowly stands up, bringing Jisung with him.
“Get in the bath, baby. I’ll be back with medicine and bathe with you.” Pressing a kiss to Jisung’s hand before he helps him get rid of his shorts and shirt and ease into the warm tub. A relieved sigh as he sinks further into the water, letting go of Minho’s hand hesitantly. Kissing the crown of his head, Minho is out the door.
Jisung hears the kettle boil as he gazes at his hands, submerged in the warm water. One hand is red and slightly bruised from the tight grip when they held onto each other. The heat still lingers, tingling the skin of his hand. He thinks about how fast things have changed between them since he met Minho again.
His heart became intertwined with Minho, vine clutching around his ribs and roots sinking into the marrow of his bones. Each new moment spent together with Minho, trying to get to know him once again, only to find he has always known him.
Every aspect of Minho was like the childhood home he never had- warm, safe and a belonging he’ll never find with anyone else. Minho is his home. His safe house.
The more he realises the feelings growing immensely fast inside him, he doesn’t know if he wants to remember the past. The shitty, irresponsible and immature kid he used to be. But he reminds himself he was just a kid. He didn’t know any better back then. Yet Minho embraced and welcomed every part of the kid Jisung was, accepting his rebellious teen and still held his hand through everything.
At least that’s what he was told, but knowing Minho, he knows he has no reason to doubt him. Minho fell in love with as a teenager, once again, Jisung feels his heart fall right back into the palms of Minho’s hands once more. Jisung is certain that if he lost his memories again. His heart would still find its way back to Minho His soulmate.
Jisung is pulled from his thoughts when Minho steps back into the bathroom, holding a pill in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Their eyes meet, and Jisung feels himself melt under the warmth of Minho’s gaze.
The way Minho looks at him, like the comfort of returning home, a deep affection he will never find in anyone else. To Minho, Jisung is everything- his entire heart and soul. The only bright mix of colors in the dull world he thought he’d forever live in.
Minho kneels before the tub, and places the pill in front of Jisung’s mouth, opening his own mouth in silent demonstration. Wordlessly, Jisung mirrors the action, opening his mouth just enough for Minho to place the pill on the back of his tongue, guiding his mouth closed with his index finger gently.
Minho brings the cup to Jisung’s lips, coaxing softly, “drink, baby.” Jisung swallows the warm tea, allowing the pill to glide down his throat, while the sweet taste of honey fills his mouth and soothes the back of his throat. The tea is warm, so as not to burn and hurt Jisung’s throat further. Jisung melts at the thoughtfulness.
Swallowing the pill is the hardest part, feeling bigger than it actually is as his finds its way down Jisung’s tight throat. Minho tilts the cup and gently angles Jisung’s head, letting a small dribble of tea trickle down his chin.
As Jisung pulls back slowly, he swallows hard and wets his lips with his tongue, lapping up the spill of tea. Minho’s gaze fixed on the warm trail of tea dripping down his chin. Before Jisung can wipe it away, a warm tongue flicks out, savoring the taste of tea on Jisung. Greedily licking up to his mouth, tasting the remnants on his lips.
Jisung can feel a rush of warmth flood through his already hot body, trembling to the sheer gentleness and intimacy. Minho’s eyes remain on his, darkening with desire and bleeding into a lust as his tongue continues to explore Jisung’s mouth, even if he’s licked it clean already. Jisung instinctively reaches out of the water to clutch onto Minho’s shirt, wetting the fabric. Minho, unfazed, plants open-mouthed kisses down his chin leading to Jisung’s neck.
Soft, sweet sounds escape from Jisung’s throat, urging Minho to keep exploring the span of his neck. Finding a spot to suck on and leave a subtle mark. As much as Minho enjoys kissing and adorning Jisung’s neck, a sudden whine pulls him from his focus and reminds him of what he was actually here for. He finally sheds his shirt and steps into the bath behind Jisung.
Allowing the younger settle comfortably between his legs as he sips his tea. Minho leaves kisses on the exposed skin on Jisung’s neck, until he’s giggling softly in response and squirming between his legs. They take the time to clean up properly,enjoying it until the water is cold and soapy.
Minho assists Jisung out of the bath, fetching towels for both of them. After getting a taste of Jisung’s soft, sweet lips, he’s addicted. Minho finds ways to plant kisses anywhere on Jisung that his lips can find. Soft laughter and fumbling of towels as bodies mix between the kisses when Jisung finally finds his lips again.
Everything is gentle, on the tips of Minho's fingers and ghost against his lips. Jisung’s sweet laugh rings in his ears like a song he’ll forever have stuck in his head with no mind. His body is warm to the touch and he finds himself gravitating towards him like a moth to a flame.
Jisung is the embodiment of warmth and light for Minho, who feels like a helpless moth that is drawn back to the same source of light. They shuffle clumsily into Jisung’s room, a fit of giggles fill the air and towels are discarding at the foot of the door as soon as it clicks shut.
Minho is relieved none ofJisung’s roommates are here to hear their whole ordeal starting at the couch. It would be awkward to explain making your best friend cum, have him suck you off and then share way too intimate kisses for friends in a bath together.
Friend… Minho’s heart tightens at the thought of their relationship only ever being that. Friendship. That despite how many times their lips slot together and bodies entwine behind closed doors, Jisung will reduce it all to friends.
At this point Minho isn’t worried about whether Jisung will remember, but rather having this Jisung to himself once more. After all, it's still Jisung. His Jisung that he's been in love with and adored since their rebellious teenage years. Now with a sharper jawline, longer hair, grown by a few inches and the maturity coming along with it.
That heart smile only curved more and his eyes held a softer view towards the world. Yet, he remains unmistakably Jisung. Minho finds himself falling even more in love with the man he Jisung has become.
Jisung digs through his closet, which seems like an untidy jumble of clothes haphazardly shoved back in, with no attempts of folding or stacking neatly.
“Are you okay with wearing one of my boxers? They are all clean- but I don’t know if you’d be-”
“I don’t care, Jisung. My dick was down your throat, I’m not worried about wearing the same underwear you had on.”
Jisung’s cheeks darken with a deep red, a color that spreads up to his ears, mouth gaping like a fish out of water, shocked by Minho’s sudden crude words. Instead of replying, he snorts and throws a pair of boxers at Minho, who catches it effortlessly, giggling softly.
Minho is right, and Jisung doesn’t know why that flusters him like a highschool girl talking to her hallway crush. He literally choked on his dick and now he’s worried about sharing underwear.
Shaking his head at the ridiculousness, he slips on his own pair and joins Minho in his bed where they usually spend hours watching anime together.
Minho, already dressed in Jisung’s boxers, opens his arms wide, welcoming Jisung into his warm embrace. Minho is in his clothes, his bed, and still fits in perfectly. Like Jisung is supposed to enter his room and slip into the sheets exactly like this every night.
Crawling to Minho’s side, he wraps his arms around Minho's torso and melts into the heat of his skin. Long arms find their way around Jisung, pulling their bodies flush together. Limbs intertwine once more, and the once-silent room is filled with the soft buzz of the TV in the living room, mingling their soft breaths.
Resting his head on Minho’s chest, Jisung glances up and finds Minho already staring. Dark brown eyes swirling with emotions that Jisung can barely make out as adoration and love- If that's what it is. Jisung questions if he actually understands what love should look like.
Is it the way Minho wraps his firm arms around his waist from behind, chin digging into shoulder, warm breath tickling his neck? Is it the way Minho bakes pastries for everyone but makes extra cheesecake just for Jisung, more slices waiting at his apartment since he knows Jisung always finishes the first batch before his friends can get to it? Or is it when Minho sends pictures of his cats only to him, calling them ‘their’ babies? When he willingly walks Jisung back to his dorm late at night, even if it means walking home alone when it's freezing cold? Is it the intense and fond look in his eyes that Jisung always catches when he’s staring?
Lost in the sight they are fixated on. Drowning in Jisung at the same time as soaking up every part of him.
But can Jisung say it's the same for him? That the growing feeling inside his chest that wraps around his heart in the shape of Minho’s hands, is this truly his way of giving his heart to Minho? Is it love?
The same puppy, heart pounding affection he felt as a teenager in years he can no longer remember. If it felt like this, he questions how he ever allowed himself to even forget it. Not when it embraces his body like a warm blanket and kisses his worries away. Holds his hand until it becomes the only thing he can feel.
There he still stares, lip curling upwards slightly as he watches Jisung. Gentle fingers tuck stray strands of hair behind Jisung’s ear, and he leans into the tender touch, lashes fluttering. Lids grow heavy with every sweet touch and the calmness that eases into his bones. He forces his eyes to stay open, wanting to linger on Minho’s charming features a little longer.
To slowly trace the sharp, sculpted curve of Minho’s nose, beautified with a little beauty spot on the side. Minho’s feline eyes remind Jisung of the cat lover he is. The sharp curve of his cupid's bow leads to his plush, fuller upper-lip. Jisung can easily say they feel softer than they look. Minho’s jawline is defined in a way that makes him look unreal, sculpted by aphrodite. Every part of Minho is so strangely perfect, making it impossible for Jisung to tear his eyes away.
Eyes trailing over one another, as if nothing else exists in the world they created together. Studying every detail. Imprinting every single feature into their minds. To be able to recreate every inch of their bodies with their eyes closed. Jisung melts to the thought of Minho knowing and understanding him so thoroughly. Inside and out.
A hand cradles Jisung’s cheek softly, thumb tracing gentle circles beneath his eye. His eyes flutter shut to the soothing motion. Allowing themselves to enjoy the shared silence and warm presence of their bodies intertwined between sheets.
Minho speaks first, his tone is gentle, as if he doesn’t want to break the small delicate bubble they’ve built in this moment around each other. “Jisung,” he murmurs, name rolling off like honey on his tongue, sweet, Jisung craves to hear it more.
“I know what we did today was… was crossing a line we’ve been tip-toeing on for a while now. And I- I don’t want to…” Minho’s voice trails off, brows furrowing, trying to piece together a sentence that makes sense.
Jisung feels his heart sink into his stomach, twisting into knots at the assumption Minho wants to end things here and never see Jisung again. Which is silly considering he’s taken care of him, now lies in his arms, yet Jisung’s brain is far too mean to take that into consideration at the moment.
Minho doesn’t miss Jisung’s worried expression, big brown eyes round with anxiety and lips forming an adorable pout. Somehow, it makes Minho smirk, tug at Jisung’s bottom lip gently, causing Jisung to whine softly.
“I don’t want to ruin what we have because I still have feelings for you. If anything they're stronger than they've ever been and I honestly can’t see you as anything less than someone I love more than a friend,” Minho finally admits, lip finding their way between his teeth anxiously. Did he say too much? Scare Jisung off? Will he feel the same?
Jisung feels his head spin and heart jump into his throat, desperately trying to escape. It longs to give itself to Minho before he can even try and decipher what he truly feels. His heart just knows where it truly belongs already.
‘Love more than a friend,’ rings in Jisungs ears, drowning out the pounding of his heart. Love. Minho does love him. Any lingering doubts about those feelings get swallowed down, leaving Jisung to finally face his own emotions.
To face his heart and try to understand and figure out the emotions that keep it racing. Or maybe the person. Yet, facing it seems so scary. A place of no memories he’s forced to revisit. How did he even handle it as a teenager?
He almost wants to laugh at Minho’s contorted face, anxious about his response. Mirroring Jisungs feelings from just moments before. It cracks a small giggle out of Jisung as the realization hits him- they’re both just stupid. Crossing the line with their hearts way before they crossed the physical boundary today, yet here they are worried, contemplating if the other feels the same.
Though Jisung can’t explain exactly what he feels. A part of him knows and begs to jump out and say it how it is. Confess in an overwhelming spill of words that would never be able to recite how he truly feels. Can he put it into words?
“Hey, what's so funny? I just confess and you start giggling?” Minho huffs, though the hints of tension slips away as he eases a little below Jisung, shoulders relaxing back as he sinks into the mattress. Jisung’s laugh brings him an unexplainable sense of relief. It only makes Jisung giggle more, burying his face into the crook of Minho’s neck, nuzzling his face into it like a cat.
That earns a soft chuckle out of Minho in response, instinctively petting Jisung’s hair in a soothing rhythm. In that moment, Minho doesn’t think of what Jisung’s reply could be,just allowing himself to enjoy the way Jisung only tries to sink deeper into his embrace, to meld their bodies together to become one.
Jisung's giggles fade as he replaces them with gentle kisses against Minho’s neck, eliciting a soft sigh from his lips. Comfortable silence envelops the room once more, but before Minho can find himself drifting off, eyes grow heavy to the lure of sleep. Jisung’s warmth wraps around him like a big blanket that holds him while he sleeps.
It's quiet, almost a whisper, “I don't remember you… as much as I try to with every story you tell of us. But I find myself still falling…” His hand reaches for Minho’s, their fingers intertwining effortlessly, fitting perfectly into each other just as their lips do. It's warm and comforting. Jisung exhales softly, Minho stays silent. Waits. Like he did all those years. Jisung can feel the racing of his heart in the body below him.
Jisung can feel Minho’s body relax into the sheets, tension seeping out. A soft hum escapes Minho’s lips as his fingers squeeze Jisung’s hand tighter in his own.In response, Jisung tightens his hold, allowing their palms to rest against one another, fingers entwining in a playful dance, finding a gentle rhythm.
It’s intimate, sweet. Mix of every part of their bodies pressed and sinking into one another. To have Jisung here, feeling the weight and warmth of his body, soft texture of his lips, scratch of his voice still beside him after confessing, Minho finds he doesn’t need to respond, nor wait for Jisung to finish his sentence. They both know. Maybe that’s why Jisung was laughing.
From the very start their feelings grew and held hands, but yet they still danced around each other, despite how intimate they’ve already been. Their fingers gradually slow, intertwining lazily as they rest on Minho’s stomach. A deep, content sigh escapes both of them as they drift into the embrace of sleep. Minho falls asleep to the thought of sharing a bed with Jisung like this every night.
The feelings are there. Undeniable. Mutual.
A connection that transcends any words or physical touch they share with each other. Minho doesn’t know what to label them after this. Jisung never fully confessed and they never discussed anything official yet. All he certainly knows is that Jisung is his soulmate. From the moment he first laid eyes on the rebellious teenager, who seemed to despise everyone in the world, but him. Their souls tied together since, bringing them back together time and time again.
After that night, things shifted between them. Subtle shift enveloped them into their own little intimate world. No longer hesitant or too careful with their display of affection towards each other.
Hand in hand among friends, Minho would gently kiss the top of Jisung’s hand. Cuddling becomes more often and basically on top of each other. Jisung would settle comfortably between Minho’s thick thighs, leaning back against him, giggling softly as Minho's soft lips brush against his neck.
The lingering gazes and smirks from their friends don’t go unnoticed. If anything it only fueled Minho’s possessiveness. His affection for Jisung only intensified, always keeping him close. Always in his grasp and no matter their relationship title, Jisung is inevitably his.
They lounge on the couch, tangled together while their friends buzz with energy, gathered around them. Snacks and drinks laid out on the coffee table, TV illuminates the room with the intense gaming match, Felix and Seungmin locked on their respective sides of the screen. Determined, hunched over while Felix practically launches himself with every turn he takes on the steering wheel controller, almost like he's actually navigating the sharp whips of turns and dodging every spiny shell.
Ah. Mario Kart. Group favorite. Or more like group gambling favorites.
“Rainbow road can eat my ass! Yes- Oh my god I’m doing it- Fuck!” felix erupts in frustration, a one-sided battle between him and his least favorite track, as he spins right off the edge during a sharp turn, nearly lunging his body across the floor. He hears a loud snicker from Changbin, who teasingly tosses a piece of popcorn at Felix’s bottom half of the screen.
Meanwhile, Seungmin remains silent, subtle smirk playing on his lips, handling the turns with ease, not even needing to move his body. Jeongin sits almost right in front of the screen, practically glues his eyes to the bright flashing colours, staring open mouth like a kid while he stares absorbed in the race.
The 3Racha dorm has the largest TV out of the friend group, and the most gaming consoles, bringing gaming and movie nights to their place.
Hyunjin playfully pokes at the ten thousand won sitting on the table- a bet on the race between Felix and Seungmin.
“C’mon Lixie! If you win, I’ll give you a better treat than the money after this,” Hyunjin coos, probably aiming to encourage Felix. It must ignite something in the man as Felix sits up straighter and grins, gripping the plastic wheel tighter. Minho hopes it won't break.
“Holding you to that, babe!” He shouts back, bouncing eagerly from his spot on the floor, while Hyunjin smirks, settling back into the couch, comfort of Changbin’s arm draped over his shoulder.
Chan enters the room with more snacks and drinks, effortlessly carrying them between the grips of his fingers. “Still going at it? Also Innie, you should move back, you’re gonna hurt your eyes like that,” Chan gently parents, placing the snacks and drinks around the stack of bills on the small table.
Jeongin blinks a few times, mumbling something under his breath and standing up. He pauses for a moment, a mischievous smirk appearing on his face and he seems to come up with something.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Felix hisses, fully aware of whats coming.
“Do it! They’ve done this map a gabillion times, they should know it off by heart,” Changbin chimes in, much to Felix's dismay and complaints. Chan lets out a quiet sigh, knowing there’s really no stopping Jeongin when decides to do something like this. Cunning little fox that relishes in chaos and causing a stir.
“Please don’t- I'm so so close-” Felix sounds like he’s moaning, but borderlining desperation as he tries to stop Jeongin from going through with it.
With little to no remorse, Jeongin walks slowly in front of the TV, purposely ‘dropping’ something and leaning over right in front of the screen to pick it up. “Get out of the way! I need to see the road, not your ass!” Felix shouts, in a useless attempt he sticks his foot out trying to kick Jeongin out the way, while his body twists and turns to try to see the game.
He bends down just enough to block the lower half of the screen, blocking Felix’s view. Leaving Seungmin with a perfect view of his own track as the sounds of Princess Peach plummeting into the void echo from the TV speaker. Once Seungmin crosses the finish line, taking first place, Jeongin rises and swiftly steps aside innocently. Like he didn’t just make Felix lose.
Felix dramatically cries out in frustration, flopping back with his arms and legs sprawled wide in defeat. He glares at the ceiling as he contemplates his revenge. Pointing the wheel at Jeongin accusingly.
“You evil man. I knew dating Minnie would corrupt your once innocent mind!” Felix pouts, eliciting a smirk from both Jeongin and Seungmin, who look at each other in a disgusting fondness that everyone's only seen Seungmin look at Jeongin with.
Jeongin plops down comfortably in his boyfriend's lap and shrugs, playing innocent. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he responds and chuckles, playfully sticking out his tongue. Felix springs to his feet.
“Why did no one stop him? Watch him cheat me just like that?” Felix grumbles, getting up and crossing his arms, mocking a pout. The laughter coming from everyone quickly dissipates his frustrations. Easily following them into the flows of laughter and smiles.
Felix has always been like that- never staying angry for long over a loss, more focused on winning next time instead.
“Money is all ours!” Jeongin cheers as he grabs the ten thousand won from the table, splitting it between the two of them. “Really? No one betted on me besides Innie?” Seungmin asks, turning his head to face the group, eyebrow raised.
They all look around at each other, like someone will take the blame or explain. They all just have a soft spot for Felix. A ray of sunshine in their darkest days. He fills the room with light from his smile alone.
Minho didn’t join the bet, liking to keep his cash when it comes to Jisung’s turn.
Seungmin doesn’t seem bothered by it though, more smug as he silently flaunts his winning in their face. Chan comes to Felix’s side and gives him a hug and kiss on the top of his head, “you did well enough, babe. I’m sure you’ll kick his ass next time, okay?” he reassures, Felix huffs in response, leaning into the touch as he follows Chan to sit on the single couch, crawling onto his lap.
Minho chuckles softly into Jisung’s neck from their seat on the couch, cramped into each other, surrounded by their friends that spread out around the room, all with their respective partners.
Changbin says something, and Hyunjin finds it oddly funny that he’s cracking up with laughter. Minho realised slowly over time that Hyunjin found everything Changbin said funny, earning a cheeky grin and more comments and affection in return from him. In a way he finds it cute.
Hyunjin clings a lot to Felix’s side too, but easily slips into Changbin’s arms and his rhythm of things. It actually took a few months for Minho to find out Hyunjin was only dating Changbin. Which confused him with Felix’s odd but welcomed affection to and from both of them.
That’s when he discovered Felix was actually dating Chan, and all of them appeared to accept it, and found it normal to let Felix slip his way into Hyunjin and Changbin’s dynamic. Minho supports it too, happy for Felix to be loved openly by so many.
His stomach only twists to the thought of sharing Jisung with anyone like that.
To have him kiss anyone else besides him.
Frowning, he bites Jisung’s nape, hard. Jisung yelps loudly, spinning around to slap Minho’s arm.
A few curious glances their way but turn back, leaving them to their own thing. Used to Minho and Jisung’s quickly growing affection and antics. They seemed to blend easily into each other, becoming one. The group no longer sees Jisung as someone who can survive without someone- Minho.
“What the hell was that for?” Jisung frowns, confused, fingers rubbing the indents left by Minho on his neck. Yet, the growing flush on his cheeks and upward curve of his side lips betray him. Squirming subtleness of his legs shows he actually doesn’t mind it.
How Minho’s teeth carve their way into his skin and leave their markings. Jisung wouldn’t complain if Minho took a bite of him whole. Have him piece by piece. Painfully good.
Minho remains silent, staring at Jisung with something darker and intense behind his eyes- possessive. Jisung knows that look too well by now. After that night they first got intimate, it opened the floodgates of their endless sexual tension and eagerness to get their hands all over each other whenever they can.
Minho always looks at him like that when they’re in public and too many people take a liking to Jisung’s unique personality and charm that he knows all too well, that he loves all too much that he wishes he could keep all to himself.
Jisung has to calm him down in one of the restrooms with his lips wrapped around his dick or rutting against his thigh until he comes in his pants. Painfully obvious to everyone what they did when they exited the restroom, disheveled appearance, Minho in a much better mood with a flustered Jisung by his side.
The possessiveness and tight grip Minho has around Jisung’s waist has him momentarily forgetting everyone in the room with them. Though they haven’t made their relationship official, there's an unspoken bond between them, a strong connection that pulls them back into each other.
Nothing was asked or said, just allowing their affection for each other to deepen naturally. Bodies and souls completely intertwined since the day they first met. No one could come between what was inevitable for them.
Yet the fact they aren't properly official makes Minho’s gut twist anxiously. Jisung is free to see anyone. He can’t seem to find his voice and courage to completely lock them in together, throw away the key as Minho never wants Jisung to slip away from the confines of his heart.
What if Jisung only sees this as friends-with-benefits? That their closeness as just friends right now just has the bonus of sexual pleasure. Minho think’s Jisung can kiss him over and over and tell him how much he likes him and his heart will fold over and thank him for being his best friend once again.
To allow him back into his life and have him once more in more ways he did as a teenager. His feelings are overwhelming and his tongue burns with confessions with every touch and sweet, lingering kiss.
Minho doesn’t know if that will ever change for him. His heart will accept every touch and affection they share and just ‘friends’, even as it tears itself down into his stomach.
Neither have they gone beyond cuddling and being touchy with their friends, even though Minho’s sure he’s heard a few whispers of their ‘friendship’ from behind closed doors. In a way, Minho is just as confused as them about what they are. Yet, they still share the intimate mix of lips and tongue in private between the two of them.
Minho gradually glides his hands up the back of Jisungs shirt, causing Jisung to squirm in response. The warmth of Minho’s hands tickling his soft, sun-kissed skin. Jisung shoots him a glare, but it holds no malice. His eyes soften, holding the molten brown that became Minho’s favorite colour. It serves more as a warning- a silent promise to give Minho what he’s tempting Jisung with.
Jisung wiggles back against Minho, a soft, sweet gasp as his ass rubs against his dick harder. Playing along with Minho’s little games, playing harder. It’s a challenge. One that makes his dick harden and Jisung soak into his hot touch. Their bodies melt together effortlessly. Hot from the intoxication slowly filling their bodies up.
Their eyes meet for an intense staring contest, locked only on each other and everything and everyone else around them disappearing from the air thick and hot growing between them. Not daring to move yet, besides Jisung's subtle wiggle of hips and Minho’s tightening grip on his hips.
The noise of their friends yelling competitively as they play, and the encouraging cheers and snide comments of their partners betting on them. It’s an average hang out night between them when they all finally get a gap in their schedules to spend the evening together.
The sounds of clinking bottles and change of excitement in the room shifted to whatever was making the noise. It breaks the two out of their bubble. They know the sound too well. Jisung turns to stare at the bottles of Soju being set on the table between the snacks and money. Everyone jumps to grab their favorite flavour in the mix.
There’s too many for even the eight of them. The sight of the peach flavour has Jisung jumping from Minho’s lap to snatch it before anyone else, grabbing a strawberry one for Minho in the process. Minho accepts it and gives Jisung’s hand a squeeze as they slip back into each other.
Drinks are popped open and taken straight from the bottle. Considering the group consisted of too many to be taking in shots, which causes a mess with over pouring and clinking of shot glasses, they resort to each of their own bottles. Which at least keeps track of their drinking, but that doesn’t stop the heavyweights from challenging who can drink the most before getting drunk.
The record goes to Felix, Jeongin and Minho, having the highest tolerance for alcohol. Leaving the lightest weights to Hyunjin and Jisung. Who get practically plastered on a single bottle. When Minho first drank with Jisung and the group, he was shocked to see how quickly Jisung got drunk and clung to him like a koala who couldn’t speak a single coherent word of their native language. He was speaking better in a British accent than he was speaking in Korean.
He quickly learnt Jisung’s limits and kept him pacing when they all drank together. Even when he was downing shots, mixing drinks, sipping beers and only tipsy when most of them watched in drunken haze and slurred their cheers with their drinking challenge. Luckily Jisung would be asleep on the couch by then, so Minho wouldn’t have to practically drag Jisung away from the bottle, saying he can handle more.
“I have a great idea,” Hyunjin says, a sly smirk on his face that only tells everyone he’s going to propose something absolutely ridiculous that no one can change his mind about.
“I don’t know a single good idea you’ve ever had,” Seungmin replies from the floor where he sits, sipping his soju slowly, Jeongin beside him going through his phone with a smile, obviously still listening by the way his lips twitch to Seungmin’s comment.
Changbin lets out a cackle which is cut off as soon as his boyfriend glares at him. Hyunjin, ‘ugh,’s and throws a small pillow at Seungmin, missing completely, settling on the floor by the TV, luckily not knocking over anything in the process.
“What is it, Jinnie?” Felix asks, curiosity peaks as he shifts closer to the male, sporting a similar smirk like he knows what's coming.
“Let’s play, never have I ever,” and there's a mix of groans and cheers of agreement and annoyance in the room.
“What are we? High school students?” Jisung finally speaks up, earning the group's attention on them, faces turning towards him. Minho's stomach twists to the look that crosses Hyunjin’s and Felix’s faces.
He’s sure he finds Seungmin smirking for a split second before taking a sip, hiding behind the rim of his bottle. Oh. This is a set up. Minho learnt there’s always a reason when Hyunjin proposes certain games when drinking.
Drunk people tend to be more honest.
He wants to know something.
“C’mon! It would be super fun! When was the last time we played it? Plus I’m certain we can learn a little more about each other that way,” Felix grins. Bullshit. They know all about each other.
From their darkest secrets to the oversharing Hyunjin does, that leaves everyone knowing what underwear he’s wearing. Minho takes a long drink of his soju, even if he knows one bottle won’t ease the nerves rising to the surface. The alcohol won’t reach his brain and numb what he knows he won’t enjoy playing sober.
They all share a look and the game is immediately settled, silent agreement and Minho misses Jisung downing half his bottle as he watches Hyunjin whisper something into Changbin’s ear. The man grins and nods.
“Okay! I’ll start since I asked us to play. Hmm, never have I ever sucked dick to get a video game I wanted,” Hyunjin grins and Minho watches Felix and Jisung take a swig.
“C’mon! You know that already- Jisung?” Felix cuts himself off when he notices Jisung finally lowering his bottle, ears and cheeks flushed. Minho’s gut stirs uncomfortably. He certainly knows it wasn’t him. And an ugly jealousy settles in his gut knowing Jisung has been with other people.
Of course he has. He’s an adult now. He has been for ages. Minho wasn’t there when Jisung finally lost his virginity or first gave someone a blowjob. Minho has no right to be jealous, yet his heart doesn’t understand that and his brain lags to keep up with the thoughts. It makes him shudder.
“What? I couldn’t afford it at the time,” Jisung offers his excuse with a light shrug. “Respect, use those men's money, babe!” Hyunjin replies, happy with the responses as he laughs and thrusts his bottle into the air, a singular cheer to Jisung. Who only chews more on his lip and squeezes Minho’s hand tighter.
He squeezes back, swallowing down his emotions with another sip of soju. There’s a look on Chan’s face that Minho knows. Feels. He knows it's not towards Felix but to Jisung. A silent, ‘you shouldn’t have to do sexual favors to get something you want.’ He stays silent. Takes a small sip.
Minho only wraps his arm tighter around Jisung’s waist and brings his hand closer, and Jisung happily settles into Minho’s touch and holds a strong grip. Growing fond of the rather possessive touch Minho has towards him.
“Okay, okay. My turn. Hmm. I need a good one since all of you have done everything in the bible,” Felix says, as he pretends to think of something. He knows what he wants to ask. He’s stalling.
“I don’t think a single thing you’ve done is in the bible,” Jeongin replies and Felix sticks out a tongue at him, giggling.
“Of course, Mister Priest here would know what isn’t in the bible. Tell me what page I can find you on? Or do I have to attend mass to see you?” Changbin quips back and it earns a laugh from the group. Finding out Jeongin wanted to be a priest as a kid became everyone's favorite thing to tease him about.
“Yes, and you will never be forgiven for your dirty little sins,” Jeongin replies. Like he knows it's true and he’s personally spoken to God to make sure Changbin will never be forgiven.
“Got it! Never have I ever sucked dick of someone in this room.” Everyone groans.
“That’s not how it works, Lix. You can’t say something you actually have done,” Changbin says as everyone takes a drink except Felix, his eyes only lasered on Jisung as he waits. Minho feels Jisung squirm beside him, and he sighs before they both take a sip.
The room is suddenly silent and when Minho lowers his bottle, everyone is staring, mouth agape, except for Hyunjin and Felix that smirk their way. Felix finally takes a drink.
Changbin looks between them and tries to piece it together. As far as Minho knows, Jisung has never been intimate with any of his friends and neither has Minho, as he only met them when they were already in relationships.
Jeongin giggles, coughs and quickly covers it up with a sip. Everyone came to the same conclusion Felix wanted everyone to obviously know. Sly little demon.
Jisung stares at their hands, flushed and knowing what that meant. Everyone would narrow it down and know he and Minho have been getting intimate with each other. Or more specifically, been suckign each other's dicks. But who knows what more they’ve done if they're already doing that.
Changbin sighs, getting out his wallet, along with Chan as they pass bills to Hyunjin, Felix and Seungmin. Minho isn’t surprised about Seungmin also having suspicions about them. He’s quiet and observant. Knows what happens between everyone without them ever realizing. It still doesn’t stop his gut from twisting at the thought of everyone already knowing, or assuming more like it.
“W-what? Why are you giving them- Did you bet on us?!” Jisung practically squeaks and unknowingly gives them away even more. Minho groans and takes another long swig, finishing the bottle in the process and setting it down. Felix giggles and Jeongin offers a shrug, pretending he didn’t have anything to do with this.
“Don't worry about it, Sungie,” Felix says sweetly and Jisung sinks back. Further into Minho. Then does he notice Jisung’s bottle is basically empty. Fuck, he forgot to pace him. It wouldn’t be long before Jisung’s mind numbs to the alcohol. With Seungmin on the floor next to him, he silently hands Jisung another open bottle and he grins, forgetting everything he was upset about.
“Nuh-uh,” Minho interrupts, grabbing the new bottle from Jisung. He pouts and tries to grab it back.
“Cmonnnnn, I’m fine! I ate a lot today so the alcohol shouldn’t hit me so fast! Please? We can share, jagi?” Jisung begs, his adorable pout that Minho always gives into. He lets out a stiff sigh, shoots a dark glare at Seungmin before handing the bottle to Jisung.
“No downing, and you can only take small sips for the rest of the game, okay?” Minho says sternly, Jisung nods and behaves. He doesn’t start drinking immediately again.
“Back on track! Chan you’re next, babe” Felix nods towards his boyfriend sitting next to him. Who blinks and sits up straighter, looking like he forgot he is part of the game. He’s been oddly silent the entire night, watching and probably keeping an eye on everyone. He’s caring like that. Barely drinks to take care of those who do land up wasted, leaving the clean up to him and anyone else who’s sober enough to help.
“Okay, uh. Never have I ever lied about where I was,” it earns boo’s and groans from everyone. “What version do you think we are playing? PG version? That’s something my mom would ask me in highschool,” Changbin complains and everyone takes a sip, unsurprisingly to Minho.
He found out quite early on about all the sexual and romantic lives everyones had in the group. Everyone except Jisung. He can't decide if he wants to know or not. Thought of Jisung with anyone besides him makes his chest squeeze.
“My turn,” Seungmin says from his seat on the floor. He isn't next in line, but the fact he has something he wants to say now, everyone eagerly waits. Seungmin doesn’t usually entertain all these games like everyone else, normally quiet and inspecting. Minho has to take the bottle from Jisung and practically down half of it.
“Hey! You can’t do that if I can even take a big sip!” Jisung complains next to him, slapping his thigh, but leaves his hand there anyways. It burns right through Minho’s pants and sets his skin on fire. He hands the bottle back and allows Jisung to sip slowly with the help of his hand as well.
“Never have you ever been in love with someone in the group, right now, and haven’t told them.” The room goes quiet. It’s obviously directed towards them. Seungmin’s subtle change from, “I,” to, “you,” not going missing from Minho’s ears.
Jisung stills next to him, stiff as his fingers pinch at the fabric of Minho’s pants, hand tightening around the bottle.
All eyes have shifted towards them, waiting. Jisung takes a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut and nearly downs the bottle in one go, Minho quickly grabbing the bottle before he can finish it, spilling some down his chin.
He knows this is going to start something they won’t be able to escape and takes the last sip of the bottle, more for himself. Jisung’s eyes stare at him, pupils blown wide, probably from the alcohol. His mouth hangs open before he closes it to lick his lips and try to catch the sticky sweetness on his chin. Minho’s eyes follow the movement of his tongue.
They both know. They both knew long before this. Minho has already confessed his feelings to Jisung and waited patiently for Jisung’s response. Watching him practically down the bottle, confirming what Minho has longed to confirm the entire of their few months back together. He was scared that Jisung would never actually fall in love with him again.
That they’d be friends with benefits while Minho’s heart craves to tell Jisung how much he loves him over and over. Yearn to hear it back.
He sets the empty bottle down. No one moves. Like they’d ruin everything by even blinking, captured in the moment between Jisung and Minho that definitely should be private. Minho stares back at Jisung, fingers pressing to his skin under his shirt by his waist. Jisung stares back just as intensely, waiting. Both seem to be frozen, Minho desperately trying to get his brain to function and mouth to work.
“You’re drunk,” he stupidly replies and hurt flashes over Jisung’s eyes, brows furrowing as frustration grows and sinks into his drunken state. Minho knows Jisung is drunk by how his body sways slightly on its own and how Jisung takes a moment longer to register things.
“You’re stupid,” he slurs back. Minho tilts his head to the side in confusion and before he can ask what Jisung means, the male shifts to face him, almost falling over, steadied by Minho’s tight grip.
“You’re so fuuucking stupid! Blind! You can’t see shit,” Jisung continues to insult, weakly slapping his hand against Minho’s chest as he slurs. His profanity reminds Minho of their teenage years. Minho grabs Jisung by the wrist, stopping his actions which makes Jisung whine.
“Stop being mean. Jisungie, what are you on about?” Minho asks, confused and it makes the other let out a frustrated groan, drunkenly trying to find the right words.
“I’m in loooove with youuu. You so fucking stupid! I don’t- I haven’t been sucking your fuckiiiing dick just because I enjoy it- I do. Heh, a lot. I’ve shown you that I likes youuu. A lot. Stupid fucking much. You stupidly handsome bitch. I fuckiiing hate you- no. I don’t. Fuck- My head hurts,” Jisung babbles on, shifting constantly in Minho’s grip, dramatic move of hands with every drunken sentence.
Minho suddenly wishes everyone else in the room would disappear. This is definitely a conversation they should be having in private and sober. Finding out Jisung actually is in love with him while drunk, in front of all his friends isn't necessarily how he’d imagine a confession happening.
But the swelling of relief in his chest and racing of his heart seems to throw out all care about how he’d want to be confessed to. Hell, at fourteen he told Jisung he was in love with him while they sat waiting in the school’s nurses office after Jisung fell and scraped his knee open.
Jisung holds his forehead and Minho gulps dryly. His heart racing in his ears, drowning in the flush of his body. He’s somehow tipsy. Maybe it’s not the alcohol. Jisung is enough to have him drunk sober. He closes his eyes and takes a breath, trying to consider his next moves, yet they all have the same result thanks to his hopeless heart.
He pulls Jisung hands from his face, cupping his cheeks on his own. Jisung focuses on him again, pouting on his glistening soju wet lips. Minho knows if he kisses him, they’d taste like the sweetness of peach and linger of alcohol.
“Jisung. You’ve known I’ve been in love with you since before I met you again. And even more after. And- Fuck, you guys are bugging me with your staring,” Minho cuts himself half way to turn to everyone in the room who stares at them with open mouths and completely unmoving.
Before any of them can say anything, Minho lifts Jisung to his feet, steadying him by holding him tightly. He guides a drunk Jisung back to his room and hears the disappointed yells, obviously wanting to hear more. Loud whistling and cheering coming from behind them.
Jisung huffs as he’s set on his bed and Minho closes the door behind them. He settles down beside Jisung who is quick to cuddle up to his side, going to immediately hold his hand for comfort.
He smells of peach soju and the coconut shampoo he uses. Minho can barely breathe. His mind jumbles all over as he tries to continue from where he left off. The sounds of everyone chatting and going back to normal is muffled by the door.
Jisung remains silent, patiently waiting with his head resting on Minho’s shoulder. As he intertwines his fingers with Minho’s smaller ones. Minho feels the heat and weight of Jisung’s body pressing into him, still trying to keep his balance.
“You know I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. I have wanted you to be all mine since the day we met again, Jisung. Being able to hold you, kiss you, make you feel good is everything I want to give you and more. I want to make you happy. I selfishly want you to be mine and I did all those things with you, worried if I asked for more I’d lose you again,” Minho confesses, his throat feels tight. Burns with the emotions he held back, not wanting to ruin anything.
Minho completely and selfishly assuming Jisung’s own feelings for him. The silence stretches out through the room and Minho thinks Jisung might have drifted off to sleep. Jisung lifts his head from Minho’s shoulder, turning to meet his gaze with a dazed look and an expression he’s never seen before, one he can’t make out.
Gently, slowly, he brushes Minho’s hair away from his face, causing Minho to momentarily flutter shut. The soft and warm graze of Jisung fingers lingering on his skin.
“And that's why I called you stuuuu-pid,” Jisung slurs, trying to make an effort to speak clearly now that they're alone. It barely works.
“I want that too, but you never asked. So mean, meany, mean. Want to be yours. Foreveerrr. Even while I choked on dick,” he giggles a little, “I’ve wanted it to only be yours.” Minho blinks at Jisung’s bluntness and rather crude words, stilling him for a moment. Strangely, he finds it romantic- something he wouldn’t mind being told, only if it was by Jisung.
“Only my dick?”
Minho can’t help but chuckle slightly as he feels his palm grow sweaty in Jisung’s firm grip. The room feels hot, enveloping them in a suffocating warmth that he’s sure is from the effects of the liquor. He’s not supposed to feel drunk yet.
He leans in closer to Jisung, their breaths mingling softly, laced with the scent of peachy alcohol and unspoken words. Their eyes search each into each other, drinking in every shade of brown in the dim lamp light. It colours their irises in a golden hue, hazed with intoxication. Or maybe it’s just how Minho feels and every part of his heart pours out of his eyes and right into the presence of Han Jisung.
Who looks at him in a way that makes his stomach curl into itself. Fill it with butterflies and anxiety. They eat at his bones and find their way to Minho’s heart. Finding it beating in the rhythm of Jisung’s laughs.
A glance down between lips, tongue gliding over chapped skin. Minho wants to feel Jisung’s teeth-bitten-lips against his own. Remind him of the texture that he’s already engraved into his own. Breaths held between them as their noses bump together.
Like a cautious cat wanting affection, noses rub against one another. Heads tilting to the motion as their lips inch closer together. Jisung’s lashes flutter shut, too heavy to keep them open. Minho can’t seem to close his eyes.
Even as they blur the closer Jisung gets, blending his skin as long black lashes twitch against his cheek. It’s so faint. If he was any further back, he would have missed it.
Eyes flicking behind lids, hand sweaty clenched in his own. Jisung doesn’t go any further. His nose nods against the mole on Minho’s nose. Gently traces around it. Minho feels himself lost in Jisung. This peachy breath, larger hand with calloused fingertips from learning guitar, the heat of his body radiating onto him.
He closes the small gap between their lips and his chest bursts with pure want and adoration. Set ablaze as Jisung eagerly kisses him, fingers mixing into the longer hairs on the nape of Minho’s nape. Minho is gone. Wholly consumed by Jisung and every part of him that's become a part of him.
He knows Jisung loves him back. Loves him when their lips touch and when they talk endlessly into the night. Just like Minho loves him. Always loved him. His heart never left with him, it stayed behind by Jisung’s side until they met again. And instead of giving him his heart back, Minho was given pierces of Jisung’s instead.
Slowly, over time, he pieced them back together. Wrapping it in the blanket of his love as he only stares at him in the room full of people that lost their facial features the moment he set his eyes on Jisung.
Cupping Jisung’s jaw by his thumb as his fingers tangle into the hair on his neck. They kiss like they are running out of time, simultaneously feeling as if time and everything around them froze. Just them alone in the bedroom, awkwardly tilting their bodies to kiss as every other noise fades to buzz. Minho can hear the beating of his heart. It burns his ears along with the flush of deep red that engulfs his body.
Jisung clings to him, like sweat on your skin on a sunny day. It’s hot, covering your entire body, but when it’s so beautiful, you don’t seem to mind. Maybe Jisung is the sun that causes Minho to sweat. Except, he would stare at Jisung endlessly, even if he would burn his eyes and the only thing he’ll ever be able to see is Jisung.
Minho wouldn’t mind. Not one bit. Jisung is all he sees already anyways.
Hands grip onto any piece of each other they can tug and pull at. Lips meeting each other with every kiss and turn of head. They linger together and swallow the flavour of each other. Jisung’s plush bottom lip slots perfectly into Minho’s.
He can’t help it when his tongue darts to get a feel too. Tongues lap at each other, finding their way around and licking into the roof of Jisung’s mouth, earning a sweet moan. They sit kissing each other until their arms grow heavy and lips slow down to sweet pecks and tug between teeth.
Foreheads pressed together and hot breaths fill the space, Minho’s lips are tingling. Kiss swollen. Wordlessly, they fall back into the mattress together. Jisung easily slips into Minho’s embrace as their faces turn towards each other.
When Minho finally opens his eyes, Jisung is staring. Tracing over every invisible line that shapes his face. Their hands sit clasped between them, curling into their bodies as Minho presses his thigh between Jisung’s, leg hooking over Minho’s hip in return.
Their eyes meet once more and Minho finds himself smiling. Jisung’s lips mold into his heart shaped smile as he giggles, scooting closer until their noses touch again. He watches how Jisung squints and it makes him laugh quietly, like he doesn’t want to disturb the peace they’ve made in the room together.
Their noses brush against each other and Minho feels Jisung’s hand ease on his own as the heaviness of sleep weighs his body down.
“I think I loved you this entire time. I don’t- I don’t think I ever stopped loving you, I think I just forgot what love felt like when you weren’t there. My heart it- my heart knows you. It knew you while I got to know you...” Jisung’s words are gentle, whispered. Like he’s admitting something to himself too.
Minho can feel his throat close up. His eyes close. If he looks at Jisung now he doesn’t know how he’ll ever look away. Or maybe he’s just afraid that if he sees the way Jisung looks at him, his body will open up and pull Jisung inside. Hide him between his ribs, having him all to himself to love.
Jisung doesn’t say anything, a content sigh rings in Minho’s ears. Jisung only tries to squeeze himself more into Minho’s space. Tie them together with their limbs and intertwined fingers. He doesn’t beg Minho for a response either. Silently enjoys the warmth of his embrace and racing of their hearts. Their hearts beat in tandem, following each other in time.
“You still don’t remember?” Minho’s voice trembles, unexpectedly soft.
After everything they’ve been through, Minho doesn’t mind if Jisung never remembers their shared past. The new memories and moments they built together is more than anything Minho could have ever wished for. Searching for Jisung for what felt like an eternity. Jisung stays silent and Minho's eyes peel open tiredly to find Jisung is already there- waiting. Watching.
“No.”
He found his Jisung.
“You love me?”
His heart stops to listen too.
“Since before I met you again.”
And his Jisung found him too.
Their hearts never forgot, just waited for both of them to find their way back to each other. Like an elastic that is stretched from both ends, you let go and it bounces back together, into itself.
Minho’s head feels clouded, and his lips are raw from being kissed so long, burning from how hard he’s smiling. It’s not the alcohol. He was never drunk. Jisung just makes him unfold, like a piece of paper that has been creased and bent in every direction, making him every shape except the one that he is. Jisung opens each fold gently, and he sees himself for the first time.
“I want to continue loving you forever,” Minho whispers softly, leaning into the gentle warmth of Jisung’s hand as it cradles his cheek.
“Even if I’m the only Jisung you met now?”
“Jisung. You’ve always been you. And you, Han Jisung, are the man I will love forever.”
“I thought you said want.”
“Oh, shut up.” Jisung giggles and his fingers tuck a piece of Minho’s hair behind his ear. Minho shivers to the tickle of his ear. A thumb rubs gently at his under eye, tracing the lines of his eyebags. Minho doesn’t sleep well without Jisung. His heart keeps running making him tired and out of breath that he loses sleep in his absence.
“Minho Hyung… Thank you for allowing me to love you again. I didn’t know it felt this good.”
Their hands squeeze at the same time. Lopsided smiles through heavy lids. Minho feels tired. His body seeping into the mattress alongside Jisung. Melting into one together.
“Loving me does feel pretty good, huh?”
Weak slap to his arm, Jisung whines, yet it’s quickly replaced with a giggle. A small nod as he finds himself bringing his face closer to Minho’s.
“So good.”
Their lips meet once more that night, gentle. Like meeting for the first time, slowly getting to know each other before finding themselves inevitably drowning in each other. Minho doesn’t think he’ll ever love anyone else the way he loves Han Jisung.
No lips will ever feel right against his own. No hand will slip perfectly into his. And no person will take the shape of his heart like Jisung does.
They kiss like that for a while, slowly, letting the sleep embrace them both. Until all that’s left is lingering touch of each other's lips and bodies intertwined like overgrown vines on an old wall. Seeping through the cracks and bleeding right back into each other. The noise outside the door continues softly, dulling into the silence of sleep.
Minho doesn’t know when everyone else goes to bed and stops drinking. He doesn’t care about knowing anything when he’s wrapped in Jisung. A deep need for sleep held him with strong arms and a firm body. He wants to stay in this moment forever.
Minho takes Jisung out the next evening. After sleeping into the afternoon hours, sharing a hot shower mixed with kisses and giggles. He’s dressed in Jisung’s clothes, slipping on his shoes and leading him out the door hand in hand.
By the time they got up, everyone had seemed to clean up and crash in the rooms or gone home. Minho found it better that way. He didn’t want to face any of them yet after last night. Instead, he has one goal in mind. And that's with Jisung questioning where they are going, pouting and squeezing his hand a little tighter. The small skip in his step gives away his excitement.
Minho’s heart beats a little louder in his ears as he guides Jisung to a place he’s been wanting to take him since they met once again. It’s a long walk, Jisung spends most of it singing or admiring the dip of the sun. The colours seeping into each other like an ombre of melting cotton candy.
He thinks Jisung is still the most beautiful. With a pink vibrant glow against his tan skin. Heart smile that makes Minho’s chest squeeze. The sparkle of his brown eyes that swims with emotions every time their eyes meet. Minho finds Jisung so beautiful just being himself.
It’s dark when they catch a bus. Mostly empty. Squished in seats together at the back as Jisung continues to beg Minho to know where they are going, especially at such an hour.
“It’s a surprise, Sungie.”
Jisung groans, but a smile betrays his fake annoyance. He rests his head against Minho’s shoulder and huffs. Their fingers play with each other on Minho’s lap. No matter where, they find their way back to each other. Fitting perfectly into each like the last two pieces of a puzzle.
“Better be a good one if you’re taking me out of the city for this one,” Jisung comments back, he giggles and nuzzles further into Minho’s shoulder. Minho hums in response. Fingers tracing patterns over Jisung’s hand.
Minho doesn’t know how to explain to Jisung without giving it away. So instead, he kisses the top of his brown tuft of hair and rests his cheek lazily against his head. He hums in agreement and their fingers hold on a little tighter.
Streets and cities pass by in flashes of yellow and white lights. Dark blurs of people still out on the sidewalk. Passing of cars and chained up bicycles left for the next day. It’s quiet. Minho can hear the low hum of the bus. The gentle breathing of Jisung against his neck sends shivers down his spine.
The bus finally comes to their stop and Minho is gently shaking Jisung who seems to have fallen asleep. A confused babble of words from just waking up and being pulled from his seat, Jisung blindly follows Minho out the bus and into the cool night air.
Sounds of crickets and low murmur of the night life surrounds them and Jisung finally looks around. His eyes are wide, curious. A want to understand.
Where? Why?
Minho’s throat feels dry as he leads Jisung further down the road to the place he brought Jisung for.
A childlike curiosity and excitement plays on Jisung’s face. A reminder to Minho when he used to take Jisung to new places as a teenager. To escape the suffocating hold ‘home’ had on him. His chest aches a little longer the more he stares.
Jisung follows hand in hand, lagging behind ever so slowly to admire the scenery. Its dark, faint glows of street lamps above and the lights of houses still awake. The world is still awake with them. But Minho feels like he’s the only person here with Jisung in this city.
“Minho- How long left-”
Jisung’s words fall short as he stops in his tracks, pulling Minho back slightly to the sudden halt. Minho watches how Jisung’s mouth falls open and his eyes mix with emotions Minho didn’t know he’d ever see.
It’s everything at once. Jisung can’t speak. He stares at the sight before them and his hand grips tighter onto Minho’s.
There's a dull and ever so glinting hope in Minho’s chest that Jisung would finally remember. Recognize this place and even if it’s just the slightest bit of familiarity, Minho would be happy. His eyes tear off of Jisung as he turns to look at the overgrown and neglected park.
The grass is long and trees find their way into each other with long branches and wrapped in tendril. Yet everything else is still there. The long slide that burnt in summer. Merry-go-round bars have been covered in vines and swallowed by the grass and weeds. Benches and tables lost to nature. Old rusted jungle-gym that’s seen its days of youth.
And the two swing sets held by old metal and seats still intact.
The swing set where they first met as kids.
Where they would sit hand in hand while rocking slowly as Jisung complained about something his parents did.
Where Minho would bring Jisung every time they needed to escape. Late nights where the grass was freshly cut and the swings didn’t creak when you sat on them. When the ground was dug in from the feet kicking into the sand. Now filled with grass and ever growing and dying flowers.
The once dearly loved by kids park has been hugged and taken over by the love of nature. Even when everything has been bathed in green, it’s exactly the same as when Minho last saw it. Every memory blends perfectly into the overgrown park. How vines hug the trees, they wrap around his heart and grow entwined with Jisung and every memory they have together.
He still sees Jisung in everything.
Looking back he freezes as the lowlights of lamps glisten with Jisungs tears. Minho feels his throat run dry and he moves on auto pilot to cup Jisung’s cheeks and wipe away at the pretty tears. He doesn’t move, the tears keep falling as he stares past Minho.
Then Jisung finally looks at him and breaks into a loud, longing sob.
His arms wrap around Minho so tightly it pushes the air out of his lungs. He doesn’t mind. He holds Jisung just as tight.
He doesn’t have to be told to know.
The ache in Jisung’s eyes and the cries of what’s past has Minho biting back his own tears.
“Lino Hyung,” Jisung can barely make it through his messy cries.
“Lino Hyung sounds about right!” Jisung declares with a toothy grin. Minho furrows his brows in confusion.
“Lino?” He questions.
“Yeah! Because there are like three other Minho’s I know, duh,” Jisung says like it’s obvious.
Thirteen. Fifteen. Sitting on the swing set as the park is filled with local teenagers and screaming kids running around. During weekends it's busy, filled with laughter of all ages. Jisung even made a few friends after picking fights with them over the swing set.
It was funny to find out just how many other Minho’s there were here.
“Plus it sounds similar and… and it's kinda cute,” Jisung mumbles in the last part, kicking his shoe into the dirt.
Minho smiles to himself over Jisung’s words, but doesn't mention it.
“Well then, Sungie. Call me Lino when we’re here then, hm?”
“Okay. Lino Hyung.”
They stare at each other like they have the rest of their lives to be in that moment.
Minho finally breaks.
Silent tears run down his cheeks as he holds onto Jisung a little tighter. His heart overflows with warmth and spills down his face. A sense of relief fills his body and their childhood greets him with open arms. This time he can touch it. Feel it again.
“Yeah, that’s right, baby. That’s me. Always has been,” Minho whispers as Jisung’s sobs quiet down into tears on his shoulder and fingers hanging onto his jacket.
They stay like that for a while. Growing into each other like the vines on the trees and shared memories meeting each other again.
Life buzzes around Minho. All he hears is the beating of their hearts and unspoken words. He doesn’t know how much Jisung remembers or how hard it must be to process so much at once. So he rocks Jisung in his hold and whispers promises he knows he can keep.
They finally pull apart and Minho is greeted with a smile he didn’t expect to see on Jisung’s face. Eyes and cheeks puffy, red from crying. Dried snot and tears crusting over his gentle features. It warms Minho’s heart. Jisung is so undeniably human.
His lips curve into his heart and eyes crinkle with the joy of knowing. Realizing. Feeling.
“Lino Hyung. It is- It really is you. All along. You are- You’re back,” Jisung’s eyes fill with tears again, but it's warm. A giggle escapes his throat as he holds Minho's face. His hands trace over every part of him like he’s finally seeing him after all these years.
“I’ve always been here, Sung. Just like you are my Jisung with or without your memories. And I am your Lino with or without your memories.”
More tears slip down his cheeks and Minho gently wipes them away with the pads of his thumb. His heart aches so terribly to watch every tear fall. Yet it's comforted by knowing why. Jisungs fingers in his hair, tracing his cheeks, following the outline from his shoulders down to his arms. Almost as if he is confirming Minho is in fact real. In front of him.
Before he can say another word their lips are pressed together in a desperate and wet salty kiss. Minho melts immediately. It tastes like love and longing memories. Jisung is kissing him like he wants to take all of Minho through his lips alone. Like he’s trying to taste their shared past and every moment they share is filled with laughter and innocent hand holding.
Minho kisses back like it’s the only thing he knows. The only thing he can do. To love and give Jisung anything and everything he wants.
They kiss like that until their lips are swollen and numb. Until they are left giggling into each other's mouth like innocent teenagers discovering how making out feels like. That puppy love that's carried them throughout their past and grown into an overwhelming and unconditional love that holds them together.
It leaves Minho breathless. Heart racing in his ears and smiling until his cheeks hurt. Jisung mirrors every part of it. They share that moment together as one once again.
Minho finally breaks away to interlace their fingers and guide Jisung through the long grass, laughing as they stumble over the ground they can no longer see. Squeezing hands and pulling all the way to the old swings.
They silently find their ways to their respective swing, hands meeting in the middle as it creaks and strains to their weight. The seat feels smaller now that they’re older, yet it welcomes them with open arms all the same as those years back.
“What if it breaks? These chains don’t feel sturdy anymore. I don’t think I can handle cracking my ass,” Jisung says with a laugh as he rocks slightly on the swing, followed by its strained groans. Minho chuckles and digs his feet into the weeds, missing the flowers.
“Cracking your ass, huh? If yours breaks mine will probably too.”
“Fuck! Then we both have cracked asses! Who’s gonna massage my butt then?” He pouts towards Minho and wiggles in the seat which shakes the metal frame slightly. Minho laughs and shakes his head, fingers trailing up the chain to feel its worn hold.
“Oh, so you just want me to massage your butt?”
“Didn’t I just say I can’t handle cracking my ass? Why would you think I just want my butt massaged?”
“Because you mentioned your butt being massaged in the first place.”
Jisung squints at him silently, pursing his lips in thought of what to say. But Minho is right. Having Minho massage his butt is truly appealing, preferably without cracking anything.
“Okay, but you like my ass in the first place so you’d massage it even if i didn’t fall on it.”
Minho smiles and laughs softly. He does have a thing for Jisung’s butt so the younger isn’t wrong about that. Ever since they got closer again Jisung’s ass has been a target at any opportunity.
“Ask and you shall receive,” Minho teases and Jisung groans in feign annoyance before laughing. Minho joins in the harmony of his laughter. Their fingers playing between them as they settle into the peace of the night.
The crickets are louder with the amounts of grass covering the park. The air is cool and makes Jisung’s hand feel a little warmer. He gently rocks himself in the seat, not minding the creaking or how Jisung grips his hand a little tighter when the frame shakes as he joins Minho in their slow rhythm. Hands pulling as they pass each other in opposite directions.
“Jisung?”
“Mhm?”
“How much do you remember?” Minho finds himself asking, quiet. Almost scared of the answer. He doesn’t know if everything is too much or some things are too little. His chest squeezes to the thought of what Jisung could remember between them.
Jisung comes to a standstill, Minho stops too. He stares at Jisung. His body forgets how to breathe in wait.
Staring at the long fields of grass, shadowed by the trees. Highlights reflect from the old lamp and peeking moon. It's dark, yet Jisung still sees everything as it is. As it was.
A small smile settles on his lips and his hand tightens around Minho’s. He takes a deep breath, swallowing down the overwhelming emotions threatening to spill again. He’s tired of crying.
He turns to face Minho and everything around them disappears.
Connected by the warmth of hands and fond memories.
Minho drowns in his eyes. Trying to find his way in them and understand what they see.
“Everything.”
It’s soft, gentle. Like holding a baby animal for the first time as a kid. You don’t know how weak they are, but you want to hold them with the most gentle embrace. Rough and grabby hands that dont know their strength still hold it dearly in fear of harming it. A swell of warmth in your chest as you take in the new discovery of something beautiful.
Life. Love.
Minho feels every weight fall off his shoulders and every anxious worry drains out of his body like pulling a plug out the drain. His eyes close to try suck back the tears threatening to spill. His hand trembles in Jisung’s. He squeezes it in reassurance.
Relief in the form of laughter bubbles in his throat and Minho is overcome by fits of giggles. Jisung joins in happily as their hands sway together and shake with every laugh. Minho doesn’t know what this feeling is called.
It’s new and it holds him gently. It takes the shape of Jisung when they first met and guides him back to the same Jisung he is laughing with at their old abandoned park. He feels whole. Knowing they both share everything once more again together. Hand in hand on the swing set that held parts of their past in them.
The giggles die down and Minho tugs lightly on Jisung’s hand to get his attention.
“I did it.”
“Did what?”
“What you told me to do.”
Jisung’s head tilts in confusion. Minho giggles.
“You told me to make you remember. Or fall in love with me again. And I did both.”
Jisung furrows his brows in thought as his lips pout, trying to recall the conversation. It only takes a moment before his eyes light up and he’s laughing again. Bright, pearly grin and head thrown back. It’s a sight Minho will dream of.
“Yeah- Oh god you really did do it. And both too. Man, my boyfriend really does stick to his words.”
Minho feels his heart fold over to the words. Every single part has meaning.
When he promised Jisung he would find him again. He really meant it.
“Boyfriend?” Minho can’t hide the smirk or how it makes his stomach do backflips. How right it sounds to be Jisung’s boyfriend.
“Mhm. What do you think, Lino Hyung? Being my boyfriend sounds pretty great, huh?” Jisung says smugly and Minho laughs. It really does. His body fills with so much love for Jisung he doesn’t know how he is still in one piece.
“Yeah. I think my boyfriend Jisung is pretty great.”
Jisung stops to stare at Minho with big, glossy eyes. A smile that shares every ounce of happiness he has from hearing that. It’s a confession. It’s a question.
“That’s great, because I think my boyfriend Minho is pretty great too.”
It’s an answer. It’s a yes.
And suddenly everything in Minho’s life falls into place and he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. Hand in hand with the boy he fell hopelessly in love with at first sight. Knowing and feeling every part of his requited love once more.
And he’s no longer the teenager he was, naive and chasing after Jisung in a love he didn’t know how to explain.
Because he’s twenty six. Lived a life without Jisung he never wants to go through again. And he’s Minho who loves Jisung in every waking moment between them. Minho who gets to love Jisung exactly the way his heart wants.
And Jisung is twenty four. No longer a rebellious teen that pretended to be tough but melted into Minho’s touch that broke down his walls and held him when no one else did. The Jisung who had to face the accident alone.
It’s bubbly, tear stained, faint stubble Jisung who’s holding his hand so tightly it grounds him. Jisung he’s been in love with, and is inevitably in love with at that very moment. And that’s exactly where Minho needs to be. At this moment in time with the man he loves.
Minho plans to spend the rest of his life living in every moment with Jisung.
To love Jisung every way.
Until his heart stops beating. And after that too.
Jisung smiles at him with a love he feels to his core.
Yeah, Minho did find his Jisung.
And he plans to never lose him again.