Chapter Text
During the first 4 years of his contract, Hongjoong had never seen his job as some kind of competition to win. Yes, there were goals to meet, numbers to reach, but all that was just a part of his job with which he was at peace and serenity. His team was united, the others were respectful towards each other. There was no point in putting obstacles in each other's way to move forward when we're all in the same boat.
Until Park Seonghwa arrived.
The first time the man walked through the doors of the Open Space to be officially introduced to the team, he shone like a supernova with his XXL smile and his big eyes full of stars and ambition.
“He’ll be a key part of our team when he’s settled in,” his superior had proclaimed as the man settled into his office two cubicles away from Hongjoong’s and he had greeted his arrival with suspicion but also curiosity and hope. The retirement of colleagues had left a huge void to fill in the work and he hoped that the new arrival had his head on his shoulders and above all the will to get them out of this bad situation.
And Hongjoong couldn’t deny how involved Seonghwa was in his work. Arriving first and leaving last, not a single moment went by without Hongjoong seeing the omega in the premises. And call him selfish but the constant presence of the other man hadn’t taken long to annoy him.
Was it his inner alpha who felt frustrated at not doing better than the omega? Or simply his professionalism that tortured him when the monthly tables fell to reveal Park Seonghwa as the employee of the month?
He could have made an effort and accepted that the omega was the best but the other man's icy attitude had decided otherwise.
4 months after his hiring, Kim Hongjoong officially hated Park Seonghwa.
Not that they had ever spoken to each other more than polite phrases in a hallway. But something in the omega's haughty attitude drove Hongjoong crazy. He never talked with his colleagues. He never took his lunch break with them (if he took it at all). And the superiors had only his name on their lips, loudly proclaiming how beneficial Park Seonghwa's efficiency was to the company in the most total indifference of the main person concerned.
Who was Park Seonghwa? Hongjoong had long since stopped trying to unravel the mystery. To him, the omega was nothing more than a toxic workaholic who made the entire team look like lazy people due to his attitude as a perfect little employee. End of discussion.
Hongjoong was scanning documents in the room adjacent to the Open Space when the day too many with Park Seonghwa arrived.
“I need to scan important documents.” Were the few words that made him lose his temper.
Without a word, the alpha had angrily crushed his papers before turning towards the omega and snatching his documents from his hands and throwing them at his face, making him recoil in surprise and hit the shelf behind his back.
“What the Fuck?!”
“Can you stop breathing down my neck for 2 fucking minutes?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re still here! Always! Who gets the best results? Park Seonghwa. Who’s the most diligent? Park Seonghwa. Who’s perfect? Park Fucking Seonghwa. I’m tired of not being able to live without you around me!”
And the omega's icy gaze hadn't wavered as he straightened up to his full height to stare down the alpha in front of him. "Do better then." A smirk later, Seonghwa retrieved his documents and left the room, leaving Hongjoong on the verge of exploding and declaring a cold war that had been going on for months.
Usually working silently and in his corner, the omega never failed to chat with the other employees now, showing everyone his tender and adorable side that made the entire company crack up. Except Hongjoong. When Seonghwa came to say hello, a huge smile on his face and his big eyes full of feigned affection, the alpha gritted his teeth and answered as best he could before diving into work and only coming out when his eyes could no longer keep up with the pace. And he was champing at the bit when, exhausted, he would clock out late at night, the omega's silhouette still in front of his computer.
Deep down, Hongjoong couldn't help but admire the other man's resilience (even if he would never, ever admit it). Being a workaholic himself with a questionable sleep pattern, seeing someone worse than him made something pull deep inside him. Jealousy or pain? His resentment had long since tipped the scales. And it was without shame that the alpha amused himself by putting spokes in his wheels.
Hiding his documents, unplugging his computer, spilling a cup of coffee on his files, Hongjoong had done everything to make the omega crack. But Seonghwa never reacted. Only a small resigned sigh and eyes raised to the sky welcomed the childishness of the alpha who never stopped feeling frustrated. His mission was to crack the omega and he took pride in achieving it.
Hongjoong was crushing his cigarette on his usual Friday night path, mulling over the events of the day when he finally arrived in front of the storefront of the club he had been a regular at since few months, the Deep Dive. The alpha had felt mortified when his friends, tired of his nervousness and bad temper, had suggested he go to a strip club. Single for too long and too uninterested in making the effort to find someone, Hongjoong couldn't contradict them when his friends kept telling him that his sexual frustration amplified his shitty character.
"Fuck him instead of complaining! It'll do you good!" and the alpha had felt a shiver he couldn't explain as he let the idea reach places in his brain he refused to visit. He wasn't attracted to Park Seonghwa. He hated him.
That’s how he’d caved and let his friends drive him to the Deep Dive one night when his frustration had cracked his band. He had nothing against sex workers, life being far from kind to everyone, any means are acceptable to earn a living as long as consent is part of the equation. Not that this club was anything other than a place of shows ; the rules were very strict at the entrance and the guards on their guard about the dancers’ safety. And it was this safety that had helped Hongjoong relax the first time he’d walked through the doors, a frown on his face and his feet dragging.
“Please, enjoy and relax. We’re tired of you.”
And what was supposed to be a way to relax for an night instantly became an obsession that Hongjoong couldn’t fight. When the pink-haired dancer had taken possession of the stage in front of his eyes, the alpha had felt a force glue him to the seat and his instincts screaming deep inside him. He understood why anyone not wearing scent blockers was forbidden from entering the club and he couldn’t be more grateful when the masked man in front of him, his long pink hair cascading over his shoulders and his upper back and torso unfurled under the dim and intimate lighting of the room. He was breathtaking, mesmerizing in the way he moved, bewitching when his eyes shone through the gaps in his mask.
And no matter how many times Hongjoong had seen the man’s show, he couldn’t help but hold his breath when the usual chair was finally brought on stage, announcing the arrival of the person he crossed the city for no matter the weather every Friday night. Because every performance was different to an accustomed eye like his now.
The way the man arched his back on the chair, sometimes seductive or painfully melancholic.
The way his fingers brushed his chest, dipped between his lips parted on a sigh when the mask allowed it or closed on his throat.
The way his hips undulated above the chair when he straightened up sensually.
Hongjoong knew this body by heart, the location of his moles, the outline of his muscles. And although the first initiative was the origin of his friends, he could not bring himself to confess to them that a one-night stand had become his weekly pilgrimage making his work week more bearable and he really needed that today.
The week had been endless for him with the closings of files in progress and Park Seonghwa had once again been the grain of sand that had messed up his patience gear. How had the other man managed to close double the work? He hadn't thought about the countless hours of overtime that the omega seemed to be putting in and the sacrifices that it must have caused in his private life, and it was driven by anger and jealousy that Hongjoong had erased the work from the omega's computer when he had left for a minute to go to the bathroom. Seonghwa's look of despair had lit a fire in the alpha's heart and it was with a smile on his face that he had clocked in that evening, knowing full well that the omega wasn't about to go home to catch up on the lost work. And that feeling of victory that Hongjoong had felt at the time had gradually turned into shame as his steps had led him to the Deep Dive. "He deserves it," his resentful side whispered to him. But why did he deserve it? He didn't know anymore.
Hongjoong was sipping his beer when the announcement of the last show of the night rang out and he couldn't help but his shoulders drop when he saw a duo of women he saw from time to time enter. The pink-haired man hadn't performed tonight. And it was with his mood in his socks that the alpha went home, disappointed and empty.
Hongjoong clocked in earlier than usual on Monday morning, driven by curiosity to know if Seonghwa was going to be so early because of Friday's events. But his heart skipped a beat and his professional smile fell from his face when he entered the Open Space and saw the omega dozing on his desk, papers spread out under his head. Had the other man even gone home? “You’re a piece of shit Kim Hongjoong” his brain screamed at him and he quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone before heading towards the sleeping omega. Ashamed, he looked down at the computer screen and couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness tickle his heart when he saw that the other man hadn’t caught up on all of his previous work yet. How could he have in just one weekend?
He was saving the omega’s work when the latter suddenly looked up, startling Hongjoong who dropped the mouse. Seonghwa blinked a few times and the alpha saw the moment when realization hit the omega’s gaze, his eyes hardening and his jaw clenching despite the fatigue overwhelming him.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“I just wanted to… save your work. So you don't lose him again."
"Don't you think you've done enough?"
And the sadness and tiredness in the omega's eyes was the biggest slap in the face Hongjoong had ever experienced in his life. He had ruined hours and weeks of work out of ego. He had ruined the weekend, the rest of a hard worker out of jealousy. With a tight throat, the alpha tried to speak several times before the omega snorted disdainfully and shoved him aside, getting up from his chair.
"I never understood what I did to you, but know that this hostility you may have towards me is nothing compared to the hatred I feel for you now.
"I... I can help you finish this before the boss arrives."
"I don't want to see your fucking face anymore. That's the only way you'll be able to help me, asshole."
And it was with resignation that Hongjoong saw the omega cross the doors of the Open Space towards the toilets. He had gone too far. Much too far.
The alpha couldn't help but raise his head when Park Seonghwa’s name was called out in the Open Space at the end of the morning. He had made himself small and thrown himself headlong into work before the omega returned from the toilets and had done everything possible not to be noticed since. The colleagues had gradually arrived and Hongjoong had greeted them quickly before isolating himself in his work, mortified with shame. The little resentment that remained deep inside him about Seonghwa dissipated like snow in the sun when he saw him get up to follow their superior. Hongjoong knew that the omega was going to get a reprimand for the undone work and he couldn't take it. Since when had he become such an asshole?
The minutes seemed endless for the alpha before finally seeing Seonghwa come out of their manager's office, his head down. The other colleagues having left for their lunch break, Hongjoong couldn't miss the little sniffle synonymous with sobs coming from the omega and he bit his lip, closing his eyes as he saw him retrieve a small bag from his bag and head to the bathroom. He should have stayed in his place, should have left the other man alone (he had done enough) but the guilt tightening his throat made him get up and follow him against his will.
But he barely had time to cross the bathroom door before a fist made contact with his cheekbone and sent him waltzing against the white tiled wall of the room. The taste of blood instantly filled his mouth and it was after a grimace of disgust that he spat out a bloody mollard at his feet. With his head down, he let the omega grab him by the collar and shake him roughly before pinning him to the wall and he took it without flinching when his head slammed against the porcelain.
“Leave me the fuck alone!!”
Hongjoong gritted his teeth as he felt the reverberation in his skull and he blinked to fall on the red face of anger and bathed in tears of rage of the omega.
“What don’t you understand?! Leave me alone!”
Seonghwa let go of him abruptly before passing a trembling hand over his face and Hongjoong frowned painfully at the sight of his damaged knuckles.
“Your hand…”
“Shut up! Just… Shut up.”
And the omega left like a tornado, opening the door with a bang, leaving the alpha stunned against the tiles, his open cheekbone leaving a trail of blood on the collar of his white shirt. Hongjoong released a ragged breath before finding the strength to move away from the wall and he cursed at the sight of his reflection in the mirror. His already purple and swollen cheek prevented him from fully opening his eye and he sighed as he saw the blood flowing from the wound. And yet, it wasn't this pain that was turning his stomach but the pain of his stupidity that had made everything go wrong.
He was finishing cleaning his wound with a tissue when his eyes fell on the pouch abandoned by the omega on the side of the faucet and he hesitated for a moment before finally grabbing it and going out. He didn't know what excuse he was going to be able to find for his superior but he couldn't blame Seonghwa. Not again. Hastily, he put the pouch on his bag and tried not to dwell on the multitude of pills he could see through the opening of the zipper, his guilt was already strong enough. He recognized the characteristic shape of the scent blockers provided by work but what could the others be used for? Did the omega have health problems? Was that why he was killing himself at work? To pay for his treatments?
He had never felt so bad. And deep down he knew he deserved it.
Avoiding the comments of colleagues and superiors was a task that Hongjoong mastered as best he could all day long. “I bumped into a door” was the only thing he answered when asked the question and he hoped that no one would make the connection between his swollen face and the damaged knuckles of the omega who had not raised his head from his computer since his summons. Rumors were already starting to circulate within the teams, that Park Seonghwa was in the hot seat after missing the deadline of an important file and Hongjoong's heart tightened a little more with each new piece of information reaching him. The omega was new to the company and any mistake could cost him his job. And the alpha would have given anything to see that boastful smirk again rather than the other man's pursed mouth and lifeless eyes.
Hongjoong was gathering his things when his name was called by their manager. Surprised, the alpha frowned and grimaced as he felt his face hurt and headed straight to the office where he was expected. Seonghwa was still at his workstation and he didn't look up when Hongjoong passed by him.
"I need you to take charge of a file urgently Hongjoong. I managed to push the deadline to next Monday but I'm counting on you."
The alpha made a surprised expression as he grabbed the file that was handed to him and cold sweats invaded his body as he recognized it. It was the file that Seonghwa had to deal with. The work that Hongjoong had destroyed.
"Park didn't reach the objectives and he suggested your name to take over. He knows that you are capable of it and so do I. You can go see him to recover the work he has already done on it."
And when the alpha came out of the office with the file under his arm, he didn't miss the winning smile of the omega who was waiting patiently in the doorway of the Open Space, his bag on his shoulder.
"Good evening Hongjoong."
A nervous laugh escaped the alpha when the omega winked at him before slipping away. He knew that Seonghwa would never give him the work he had caught up on. He knew that the week was going to be exhausting. He knew that the mission was almost impossible. And this flame of resentment that had calmed down was reborn even more beautifully. The war was far from over.
“Fucking Park Seonghwa” Hongjoong muttered, angrily crushing his cigarette against the sole of his boots. The alpha’s anger didn’t calm down as he impatiently waited for his friends leaning against the outside wall of the bar where he had arranged to meet them. He had had a lot of trouble convincing them to go out on this Monday night; and he should have focused on the titanic work he was going to have to produce in the next few days or else rest; but he needed to release the immense pressure that was boiling his brain.
“What the hell happened to your face?” Yunho exclaimed in horror as he finally arrived with Wooyoung, both men wearing shocked and worried expressions.
“It’s that fucking omega.” Hongjoong spat angrily and his anger increased a notch when Wooyøung rolled his eyes. “What?”
“I’m pretty sure you deserve what happened to you.”
And the alpha could only open his mouth without any sound coming out before following his friends and entering the bar to sit at a table away.
Hongjoong gulped down his first drink in one gulp before sighing as he felt the alcohol burn his throat. “Why is that?”
“You’re an asshole to him. It’s surprising he waited all this time to beat your face.”
“He’s an omega. He caught me by surprise.” And that certainly wasn’t the smartest thing to say, especially not in front of his omega friend. He saw the moment when the urge to punch him in the face crept into Wooyoung’s eyes and he swallowed as he leaned back in his seat before signaling the waiter to bring him another drink.
“Poor Big Bad Alpha who got beaten by a weak little omega. Deserved.
“Whatever.”
Yunho cleared his throat as he leaned on the table, acting as a barrier between the two friends who were glaring at each other. “Why did you ask us out tonight? On a Monday.”
Hongjoong snorted disdainfully as he took the drink that was brought to him. “If you don’t want to be here, leave.”
“Hey. Stop it, okay? No need to be aggressive towards us.”
The alpha nodded briefly after a beat and Yunho relaxed slightly as Wooyoung turned his attention back to his phone, his jaw still clenched. It wasn’t uncommon for tensions to arise between the omega and the alpha, Hongjoong’s bad temper regularly making Wooyoung’s little patience crack, but they had increased tenfold since Park Seonghwa’s arrival in the businessman’s life and Hongjoong couldn’t stop seeing how much the omega was a poison in his life.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
Yunho hesitantly pointed at the alpha’s black eye and Hongjoong shrugged, playing with the rim of his glass. “Whatever. Someone doesn’t want to hear about it here.”
The sound of Wooyoung’s chair scraping on the floor drew attention to them for a moment and Yunho closed his eyes, knowing full well that the evening was definitely ruined.
“You know what? You’re right. I canceled a booty call from San to come support my ungrateful friend and believe me when I say it won't happen again. Have a good night Yunho. Good luck." And the omega disappeared in an instant, leaving the two men silent around the table. Hongjoong was probably going to blame himself the next day but he couldn't bring himself to care tonight as he gulped down the contents of his glass in one big take.
"Careful hyung. You're working tomorrow. Don't get too wasted."
"I'm screwed anyway."
Yunho nodded softly as he played with the rim of his own glass, not inclined to continue the discussion but Hongjoong couldn't blame him. He knew he was an ass and had to be grateful for not having been abandoned already.
But maybe the alpha liked to self-sabotage.
“You know, I never understood why you kept hoping for something with Wooyoung .”
“Excuse me?” The beta frowned as he looked back up at Hongjoong.
“You’ve been looking at him like a lovesick puppy for years when he only has eyes for San. Stop doing that to yourself.”
Yunho remained silent, his eyes detailing Hongjoong’s face before a small, hurt laugh shook his shoulders.
“I don’t know what happened to you and I’m not sure I want to know but there’s no point in hurting others to feel better. That’s the worst attitude. Even for you.”
The alpha remained silent as the alcohol began to make his mind float away from here. He rarely drank, much less hard liquor and he felt his control over himself gradually fading.
“It was just an advice.”
“I don't need one from you and your sexual frustration.”
“I'm not frustrated.”
A burst of laughter escaped Yunho as he stood up from his chair, shaking his head.
“Yeah, keep trying to convince yourself. And when you finally realize that you are, you’ll have been an asshole to everyone and no one will be there to help you.”
And maybe if Hongjoong’s brain hadn’t been so foggy, his friend’s words would have made their way there. But it was too late now, he was alone. Hopelessly alone.
It was probably this loneliness that unconsciously led him to the front of the Deep Dive. The security guard raised a questioning eyebrow at the state of his face and most likely the smell of alcohol emanating from him at the time of the check and Hongjoong had no doubt that he was being closely monitored by the security service as he took a seat on one of the chairs surrounding the stage. Usually packed, the club was much more airy on this weeknight and if his favorite spot was still at the bar counter, he didn't trust his balance tonight to try to sit on a stool. His head was hurting, courtesy of Park Fucking Seonghwa (and his bad drunken decisions but blaming the omega was a vital necessity), and he closed his eyes briefly while massaging his temples gently. He should have gone home, rested and recovered from his day before starting the work marathon that awaited him. He knew why his steps had guided him here, his unconscious missing the pink-haired dancer he hadn't seen for too long because of his absence last week. Was he even going to perform tonight? Hongjoong never came during the week, only on Friday nights, had he wasted his time coming here?
He didn't know how long he had been there when the lights dimmed a little more in the room while a new, more sensual music resonated in the speakers. The Friday show was pretty much the same from one week to the next. The alpha knew the songs now, their sequence and their dancers, but this one? He didn't know it. Curious, he opened his eyes again and almost fell backwards, jumping violently, shocked by the sight waiting for him on the stage.
The pink-haired dancer was there. And he wasn't alone. Face to face, only separated by a poll dance pole, the two men devoured each other with their eyes while undulating sensually. On the left, the pink-haired man made the alpha growl deep inside him. His long legs accentuated by his little leather shorts and high heels, his bare chest adorned with a harness made of diamonds, his mask now revealing the lower part of his face, he was to die for. And Hongjoong knew his way of moving on stage, but he couldn't help but catch his breath when he saw him rolling his hips while turning around the bar, his fingers sliding sensually along the metal. In front of him, a dancer that the alpha had never seen, hoisted himself onto the bar in a fluid and simple movement that briefly left Hongjoong in awe. His muscular body did not alter the sensitivity he put into his gestures, making the painting harmonious, balancing between softness and strength to perfection. The pearls placed in his red hair captured and reflected the light into the room, illuminating the eyes of the spectators and bathing the place in thouSānds of stars. The same ones that lit up the pink-haired man's chest.
The alpha couldn't tell if it was the proximity of the stage that made him so feverish but tonight, tossed between anger and alcohol, he couldn't stop his body from reacting to the presence of the man who obsessed him more and more. He had always managed to keep his fantasies at bay, to force himself not to visualize the dancer in his wildest daydreams but the dam finally cracked inside him when the man approached the edge of the stage, undulating on all fours in his direction. The dancer stopped when his hands grabbed the edge of the stage and it was totally hypnotized that Hongjoong saw him tilt his head slightly like a curious cat. Time seemed to stop as the alpha stared at the dancer’s near-still form with hungry eyes, his eyes shining through the mask and his full lips that he could see more closely now, parted and shiny. So alluring. Finally, the dancer straightened up to sit on his heels, his hands caressing his chest and throat as he pushed his head back, revealing the tempting expanse of his neck. And unbitten. Beautiful. So beautiful.
A hand on his shoulder froze him in his seat as the security personnel glared at him. He hadn’t realized he had moved forward in his seat to unconsciously get closer to the splendid divinity on stage. Ashamed, he raised his hands in a sign of peace towards the security guard who did not take his eyes off him and he settled back in his seat, returning his attention to the stage. The pink-haired man had moved to the podium, continuing his performance in front of the other people present in the front row while the poll dancer continued his tour de force. But Hongjoong could not take his eyes off the feline silhouette finally straightening up to join his partner in the center of the stage. And he did not know if it was the alcohol or his disillusionment, but the alpha was sure that the dancer had given him one last look before leaving the stage. He did not know how he was going to get home with the monstrous erection he was sporting now.
He really should have stayed home.
It was with a hangover and in a bad mood that Hongjoong clocked in early the next morning. He was secretly counting on his excesses to make him forget the events of the day before, but that was not the case. He could not forget the pink-haired dancer. And even less how much he had masturbated while thinking about him. But he blamed alcohol for his actions. He would never have done that sober.
He had never wanted to give in. Give in to his urges. Give in to Yunho and Wooyoung 's teasing. Admit defeat to the thing he had pushed away deep inside him and that had exploded in his face.
His sexual frustration.
For months, he had ignored his celibacy, his cold bed and the lack of physical contact. But the dam having given way deep inside him, he could not think of anything else. And this outing from the day before that was supposed to be a salvation had become his condemnation. Because he could not forget the sensual body of the dancer that occupied all his thoughts, his delicate hands that he dreamed of seeing roam his body, his full lips that he could not stop imagining on him.
He groaned as he slapped his cheeks to pull himself together, tearing a small cry from himself as he fell on the wound on his cheekbone. A glance at his watch told him that it was still too early before his colleagues arrived but he knew very well that his Nemesis could arrive at any moment and the very idea of having to see the other man again made him sigh angrily.
“Fucking Park Seonghwa.”
Groping, he rummaged through his bag to retrieve a tube of instant coffee in the hope of getting his head out of the fog he was in and froze when his hand came into contact with the omega pouch he had retrieved the day before. He had completely forgotten that he had it in his possession and hesitated for a moment before taking it out and looking inside.
Like last time, he easily recognized the scent blockers and leaned over the rest of the contents to appease his curiosity. A toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste and a comb were at the bottom of the pouch, as well as a hair elastic in the shape of a rabbit and Hongjoong inextremistically refrained from plunging his nose into the piece of fabric, his wolf attracted in spite of himself by the sweet smell emanating from it. As if burned, the alpha dropped everything which crashed to the ground and he tried to calm his erratic breathing by inhaling deeply several times, his eyes fixed on the incriminated object. There was no question of being attracted by the omega's scent because of his frustration. Out of the question! He was ready to find a one-night stand to relieve the pressure rather than think of Park Seonghwa as anything other than the parasite he was. Angrily, he leaned over to retrieve the pouch and cursed when one of the bottles of unknown pills rolled to the ground and he was about to get up to retrieve it when the small cylinder stopped under its owner's sole.
Helplessly, Hongjoong watched the omega retrieve the bottle and held back a growl when the other man looked at him, a mocking pout on his face.
"So obsessed with me that even my birth control pills interest you?"
Red with embarrassment and shame, the alpha picked up the pouch and abruptly threw it to Seonghwa who received it without flinching, a smirk on his face.
"Thank you for retrieving my stuff, Hongjoong. I don't know what I would have done without your kindness and dedication."
“Fuck off,” Hongjoong mumbled as he finally grabbed his coffee tube and didn’t hesitate to roughly push the omega aside as he headed to the break room. This was going to be a long day. Very long.
“Nice eye. It must be hard to see the screen.”
Correction. This was going to be an interminable week.
One thing that couldn’t be taken away from Hongjoong was how good he was at his job. Always one of the very best employeein the company, he never shied away from his work and, although he was highly annoyed by the situation (but still had a hint of guilt in his gut), it is with all his might that he dove into the file that had been assigned to him. Yes, the task seemed insurmountable, but he intended to use his years of experience as well as his knowledge acquired over time to deliver the best of himself; hopefully on time.
Regardless of the headache that didn't seem to want to let go of him and the fatigue of his too short night, it was proud of himself that he stretched at the end of this intense day before saving his work on the server and his external hard drive (call him paranoid...). Most of his colleagues had already deserted the premises at this late hour of the evening and he sighed with boredom when he saw that the person he least wanted to see in the world was still there. As usual. And maybe it was his alpha pride that prevented him from staying in his place once again.
Confident, he took his time to put the things in his bag and took advantage of the departure of the last group of people to approach the omega's box. Hongjoong cleared his throat impatiently while the other man remained focused on his work, indifferent to his presence.
"One less file but still unable to leave on time?"
Seonghwa did not raise his head as he answered calmly, his long fingers dancing on the keyboard. "When some have only one file, others have 4." And the omega supported his words by tapping the pile of files placed next to his keyboard, making the alpha fume with his nonchalance.
"Maybe because some people have a life outside of this job."
This reply finally made Seonghwa come out of his work and it was with an eyebrow raised in question that he swiveled his chair to find himself facing the alpha. Thus placed almost between his legs, Hongjoong swallowed as he looked down at the face of the omega sitting in front of him.
“Oh yeah? Do you have a nice mate waiting for you at home in the evening?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“No? This mate must be pretty boring if you prefer to spend time here with me rather than with them right now.”
And the alpha should have answered, retorted a very scathing retort on the omega’s apparent lack of married life but any retort died on his lips when his gaze was caught by the intense one of the man in front of him, his big dark eyes where the neon lights above them made a thouSānd stars shine. A fleeting memory of last night flashed through his mind and he saw the dancer under the dim lights of the room like a flash, his torso covered in diamonds dazzling his intoxicated mind and his shiny lips that Hongjoong could no longer forget. Instinctively, his gaze slid over the omega's mouth and he felt himself blush from head to toe when Seonghwa's smile slowly split his face.
"Like what you see?"
"Fuck off."
And Hongjoong finally managed to come out of his trance by pushing the rolling chair aside to head for the exit. It was really time to do something about his sexual frustration (and to close his eyes to the observation that the omega's heart-shaped mouth was perfect.)
*
Hongjoong
Are you free tonight ?
Wooyoung
It depends
Hongjoong
?
Wooyoung
Did you get laid ?
Hongjoong
No ??
Wooyoung
Then no
Find a hole to fill
And leave us the fuck alone
You and your ungrateful ass
Hongjoong
What the hell ?
Wooyoung
And we are still waiting for an apology
You hurted Yunho pretty bad
Hongjoong
I'm sorry
Wooyoung
Wow so sincere
Hongjoong
What do you want me to do if
you don't believe me ?
Wooyoung
Be a respectful human being
And drop your fucking jackass attitude
Yunho
Let him be Woo
One day he'll understand that the solution of all
his problems is to bend Park Seonghwa over a
desk and fuck him into oblivion
And when the day will come, we'll watch him
falling appart with our "we told you so" face on
Can't wait
Hongjoong
I don't want to fuck him ok ?!
Yunho
You lost your chance when you erased
his work anyway
And it's your loss
Hongjoong
Good evening
*
Hongjoong angrily threw his phone on his couch after slamming the door to his apartment. Gritting his teeth, he loosened his tie as he headed to his bathroom and let it fall to the floor before rolling his shoulders off his suit jacket. The discussion with his friends had put him off going out tonight and even though he knew he was wrong, he couldn’t find the strength to apologize. Of course not, he didn’t want to fuck Park Seonghwa. He needed to fuck, yeah, but not him. Never.
He scrubbed himself vigorously in the shower to try to get rid of his frustrations from the day and he tried very hard not to feel aroused by the passage of his own hands on his body. But the memory of the dancer haunted him. He closed his eyes when a moan escaped him, his brain mixing up his desires and reality. Suddenly, it wasn’t his hands on his body anymore, but the dancer’s, caressing his skin, brushing his curves, exciting his nerve endings. And his lips… Those fucking lips. A growl resonated in his throat as he grabbed his blood-engorged member pulsing between his legs.
“Fuck…”
And it didn’t take long before his white-hot body gave in, stimulated by the overflowing imagination, the frustration and the pressure gradually rising in his lower abdomen. He wasn't under the influence of alcohol tonight. And boy was it good. His body came alive on its own as he undulated his hips in his fist, easily imagining thanks to the ambient humidity the luscious and so attractive lips of the pink-haired man. He didn’t know how long it had been since he had touched himself consciously, pushing his frustration deep inside him again and again in the hope of making it disappear. But thus lost in the limbo of pleasure, his head thrown back under the jet of water from the shower, he only needed a few more wrist movements for the orgasm to mow him down, making his legs tremble and forcing him to lean against the glass wall with his free hand.
Out of breath, he kept his eyes closed as he let the dopamine run through his body, making a satisfied smile appear on his face as the last indecent images of the dancer dissipated in his mind… Before taking the form of Park Seonghwa’s silhouette, looking at him on his knees in front of him, his big eyes shining and his smirk on his face.
Hongjoong jumped suddenly as he opened his eyes and let go of his cock to lean against the wall and the door of his shower. His heart was pounding in his chest and he ran a feverish hand over his face before turning off the running water. Fucking hell.
It was with his eyes bursting with sleep and his nerves on edge that Hongjoong settled into his workstation the next morning. The day had not yet risen outside but his insomnia had driven him crazy and he preferred to concentrate on work rather than let his mind wander in fields where the person he least wanted to see seemed to have taken up residence.
Dying of shame and angry, he had thrown himself on his bed without eating the night before after his disastrous shower, cursing the entire Earth for several generations. Yunho and Wooyoung for constantly pressing on his sexual frustration, himself for giving in to it and Park fucking Seonghwa for once again being everywhere everywhere EVERYWHERE without respite. Sleep had obviously eluded him and he had turned in his bed endlessly before cracking and getting up to eat a bite. But the full belly had done nothing to calm his mind at full speed and he had hesitated for a long time if it was a good idea to go out in the middle of the night to go to Deep Dive. He knew that the dancer would have the ability to fight whatever witchcraft was at work in his head on the verge of exploding. But the workload that awaited him was not to be taken lightly and his deviations from the day before were already something he should not have allowed himself. So he had tried to be patient, reading financial articles on his phone in the middle of the night in the hope of forgetting the omega of his nightmares and it was 4am when he had thrown in the towel and gotten up for good. The company premises opened at 5am, he could at least make the most of this restless time.
It was with all his might and armed with his fourth mug of coffee that Hongjoong opened his file on his computer. He was tempted for a moment to put his headphones on to cut himself off from the outside world and not hear the arrival of his colleagues in a few hours, but one thing made him even more nervous than that : being surprised by Seonghwa's arrival.
The omega was going to be the first to show up as usual and Hongjoong refused to be caught off guard by him. He didn't know how he was going to react when he saw him after the shock of the night before. He closed his eyes briefly, rubbing his face gently so as not to hurt himself, allowing himself to appear weak and lost in the solitude of the Open Space. Was it having smelled the sweet scent of the omega on his hair tie that had conditioned his mind to visualize him like this? Was that the answer, his alpha needed to feel an omega in his arms and in his bed? He promised himself to think about the question when the deadline for his project had passed. One last week of abstinence and solitude before rewarding his hard work. He could do it.
Hongjoong took a deep breath before rolling his shoulders and settling down to work. Yes, he could do it. And he was going to prove to this unfortunate omega who was the stronger of the two.
For hours, the alpha didn't look up from his computer. He knew how to lock himself in his bubble when necessary and it was cruelly so in this situation. The work was colossal but he knew he could do it, made it a personal challenge and a snub to his nemesis. A glance at his watch told him that it was almost time for his lunch break and he glanced around in surprise to see that the team was all installed in the Open Space without him really realizing it. And he couldn't help but glance out of the corner of his eye at the cubicle a little further to his right and was surprised to see it empty. Seonghwa wasn't there.
He stretched as he got up from his workstation and casually walked past the omega's seat. The absence of papers on the desk and the blank screen of his computer confirmed his absence and he frowned as he continued on his way to the toilets. Why wasn't he there?
But Hongjoong wasn't going to bring himself to ask their colleagues (certainly not) and he tried to let his ears linger throughout the day in the hope of catching a snippet of conversation that would give him the beginning of an answer, in vain. Was the omega's absence planned and he didn't know about it? It didn't matter. So, he had no disruptive element to prevent him from working hard and it was proud of himself that he finished this day after having saved his file twice rather than once and that he followed in the footsteps of his colleagues at the end of the afternoon.
It was with a view to collecting a reward that he headed for Deep Dịve later in the evening, a smile on his face and impatient steps. The security guard gave him a surprised look when he saw him again in the middle of the week before checking him and give him the usual instructions.
“We don’t touch the dancers.” The young guard insisted, pinning him to the ground with his gaze, and Hongjoong swallowed, nodding. He still remembered the trance he had experienced last time and promised himself not to repeat the experience when he settled into his usual spot at the bar counter, far from the podium.
“The usual?” the bartender mumbled as he approached him, and Hongjoong nodded negatively, asking for a simple beer. He hadn’t planned on overindulging, but only to relax tonight and see the dream creature who knew how to take his mind off things. And this day could really have been perfect with the absence of the parasite Park Seonghwa and the presence of the divine dancer with pink hair as the only distraction. Except for the fact that the dancer never appeared on stage that night. Hongjoong's wolf squeaked when the announcement of the last performance rang out and he sighed in disappointment as he got up from his stool and headed for the exit. He just hoped that his dreams wouldn't be punctuated by the wrong figure from now on…
Hongjoong didn't know what to think when his eyes fell on the empty omega’s box the next day and the day after that again. His work was progressing rather well and he felt that the goal would be reached for Monday if he sacrificed part of his evening today but that didn't scare him. The adrenaline kept him from feeling tired for the moment and he was rather proud to see that he hadn't lost any of his perseverance and efficiency. Park Seonghwa was therefore the disruptive element, the unwanted thorn in his side that bothered him so much.
No one talked about the omega's absence and Hongjoong had resigned himself to the fact that it shouldn't be impromptu and that he was the only one who didn't know about it, but whatever. In the end, he was grateful for having had a week devoid of his Nemesis where he had been able to boost his productivity.
Except that.
Today was different. His gaze was magnetized to the empty box a few meters from his. His wolf was turning tirelessly deep inside him and driving him crazy. And the relief of the omega's absence was slowly turning into torture. Several times during the day, Hongjoong had felt the visceral need to go out for some air to smoke, something he never did and he saw the time ticking inexorably and his planned schedule moving away from the work actually accomplished. He didn't know what time he would be able to go home tonight.
"Fucking Park Seonghwa."
Even his absence was his cross now. And he closed his eyes to the reason.
It was late when Hongjoong admitted defeat and his forehead met the desk. The premises were empty on this Friday evening and he banged his head several times against the wood while grumbling. He had been certain that he would be able to finish today. But his sudden obsession with Park Seonghwa's absence had ruined everything.
Angrily, he raised his head to save his work and inspected his list of things he still had to do with a sigh. There was no point in persisting tonight, he knew that he had reached his mental limit and he sighed again as he made the decision to leave. He would only have to come very early on Monday morning to finish and return the file on time on his manager's desk before he arrived. He had already done it and could do it again.
Hongjoong feverishly glanced at his phone while dragging hard on his cigarette. He had hurried after work to jump on the first subway to the Deep Dive and greatly hoped not to miss the time of the pink-haired dancer's performance, his breath of fresh air during this intense weekend. The control at the entrance seemed endless to him, as if the security guard was doing it on purpose, and it was on edge that he sat down at the counter and caught the attention of the bartender busy on the other side of the bar. On stage, he recognized the small troupe usually performing just before the pink-haired dancer and he sighed as he relaxed against the counter. Right on time.
He downed his glass of alcohol in one go when it was brought to him and the bartender raised a mocking eyebrow in his direction before refilling it when Hongjoong pointed it out to him but the alpha didn't pay any more attention to it. In a few minutes, all his frustrations would melt away like snow in the sun and he would finally be able to relax.
He straightened up on his stool as the troupe left the room and a smile played on his lips as he thought that he would finally, FINALLY, see the dancer again. An eternity seemed to have passed since that Monday night when he had been hypnotized by the predator that had been the other man on stage and had vibrated as he waited for the chair to be brought.
But the smile left his face as the lights came up to reveal the dancer who had done the duet with the pink-haired man, alone on stage, lying in a feather bed surrounded by bars. Where was the pink-haired dancer? Why wasn’t he there? What was going on that made karma fail him at a time like this?
He slumped down as he watched absently as the dancer played with the bars of his cage but sighed angrily as he gulped down his drink. Was the schedule changed and the pink-haired dancer was going to perform later? A glance at the time told him that the evening was coming to an end and he waited without much hope for the announcement to be made. And he stood up, clenching his jaw when it rang out to announce the closing French cancan group.
“Fuck my life.” the alpha muttered under his breath as he waved to the bartender who was busy on his phone. “Hey!”
The man behind the counter looked up and smirked as he approached Hongjoong. “Sir?”
“One last drink.”
The man laughed and shook his head as he grabbed the bottle before filling the glass that had been pushed in his direction and he barely had time to lift the neck before Hongjoong angrily grabbed it and gulped it down. Without a word, the alpha threw the money on the counter and tried not to get even more annoyed when the bartender yelled at him “Have a nice night, sir!”
The whole world seemed to be against him and he was on the verge of breaking point.
*
Hongjoong
Hey
Are you free today ? Or tomorrow ?
Wooyoung
Who are you ?
Hongjoong
Very funny
Yunho
No
I'm off with my boyfriend
Hongjoong
You What ?
Yunho
You would know if you weren't
so self-centered
Hongjoong
I'm sorry
Yunho
Are you ?
Hongjoong
Yeah
I'm sorry for being an ass with you
Wooyoung
Suspicious
What do you want ?
Hongjoong
Work was exhausting and
I need distraction
please
Wooyoung
Hm
Yunho
I will be back tomorrow in the
afternoon. Mingi has work on
the evening
Hongjoong
Mingi ?
Yunho
My boyfriend ??
Hongjoong
Excuse me I don't know him ??
Yunho
Because you don't ask. Never
Hongjoong
I know
And I'm sorry
Wooyoung
Stop your bullshit
You're "sorry" because you're alone
and desperate
Hongjoong
Please Wooyoung
Wooyoung
You never ask
Never Hongjoong
You used to care about us
Where is our hyung ?
We can't recognize you anymore
And don't start with Seonghwa
He is not at fault
You are
Hongjoong
Why are you bringing him into
this for fuck sake ???
Wooyoung
BECAUSE
You changed because of him !
Hongjoong
YEAH ? Because I can't stand him
and I'm nervous because of him ???
Yunho
No you're obsessed with him
Hongjoong
I'm not
Yunho
Yeah keep telling you this
As if you didn't think about him
all week
Wondering why he was absent
Hongjoong
How do you know that ?
Yunho
My boyfriend
Hongjoong
He is working at the company ??
Yunho
No but don't try to change the subject
Hongjoong
How the fuck you want me to talk
about something else when you're
stalking me with your boyfriend's help ??
Yunho
Ooh so you agree that you were
obsessed by his disappearance ?
Hongjoong
You know what ? Fuck you
*
Hongjoong had tried to take his mind off things this weekend. The Saturday spent with his family had managed to release some pressure, but the Sunday spent alone, going around in circles in his apartment, had gotten the better of the little self-control he had left.
The conversation with his friends replayed in a loop before his eyes and his wolf growled tirelessly in his chest, overwhelmed with frustration and anger that he could no longer control. And this loss of control of his inner wolf terrified him deep down. He had never been so close to breaking down and becoming feral, even his pre-ruts did not put him in this state of nervousness and he was afraid to throw himself at the first person he would cross his path. And he did not know what to do. He had never felt so alone. Alone and at the mercy of his animal instinct.
He considered for a moment downloading a dating app to find someone for the night, a temporary solution to calm his urges, but could he really hope to find someone in his nervous state? His wolf was howling at him that he needed someone. But he knew who. He knew, didn't he?
It was drenched in scent blockers to keep his wolf at bay and hidden behind a mask that Hongjoong presented himself in front of the Deep Dive security guard that evening. The man in the suit raised an eyebrow questioningly when he saw him like this and began his inspection by dictating the instructions in a monotonous but final tone.
"Lower your mask so I can verify your identity, Sir."
Hongjoong rolled his eyes as he presented his ID and angrily lowered his mask to his chin. He knew that the piece of fabric would not protect him in any way if his wolf decided to snap but hoped that the semblance of a barrier could keep him in check for the evening.
“You know me for fuck’s sake.”
“Yes, exactly.”
The alpha gritted his teeth until the check was over and barely contained the growl in his chest when the security guard said in a suave voice “Good evening Sir.” Everything was getting on his nerves and what little self-control he had left was fading away by the minute. Feeling his wolf on the verge of breaking down, Hongjoong settled himself as far away from the world as possible in a corner of the bar. Here, he could see without being disturbed and he breathed through his mouth, resting his elbows on the counter with his eyes closed. He didn’t know what he was going to do if by some misfortune the dancer was absent tonight. But was it a good idea to see him in this state? He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry.
A bottle of beer materialized in front of him and he raised his gaze that he knew was dark to the bartender who was eyeing him warily. “I don’t know why Jongho let you in, man. You look like a junkie in need.” And this time the growl escaped his control, resonating in his throat and making the people nearby turn around. The bartender gave a falsely impressed whistle before picking up the bottle of beer. “Okay no alcohol for you buddy.” But Hongjoong didn’t care about alcohol. Maybe he really had become addicted but to what exactly? He didn’t know the dancer, was hypnotized only by his appearance and his sensual movements that made him lose his mind. Nothing more. Why was his wolf reacting like this, damn it?!
But was it really the dancer who made him feel this way?
Maybe he had wanted to blame the pink-haired man's absence on his nervousness, but somewhere in his brain, a warning signal kept telling him that he hadn't been the only one absent this week. And that it might not be that presence that he was missing. As if to support his words, a memory of the sweet smell of marshmallow made him close his eyes violently.
"No!" He growled to himself as he turned his attention back to the stage where the performances had started. No! He refused to lose his footing because of Park Seonghwa. He didn't care. He didn't care! Whether he was there or not didn't change the fact that he hated him.
He hated him, damn it…
It was trembling that Hongjoong increased his observation of the scene tenfold in the hope of numbing his brain and no longer thinking. Letting himself bewitched by the lights and the sensual music that followed one after the other, the naked and so attractive bodies of the dancers contorting and caressing themselves to the rhythm of the notes spat out by the loudspeakers, he usually knew how to do it. But tonight, the wait was unbearable, a torture that he couldn't stop thinking about.
His leg bounced frantically on the footrest of the stool and he knew that he must have looked like a madman, a drug addict in full crisis as the bartender had pointed out, his wide eyes fixed on the podium of the room. He kept telling his wolf to calm down, that his release would soon appear in a halo of light, his face dressed in his diamond mask, his long pink hair cascading over his shoulders dressed in his leather harness or the black lace top that was far too casual for his taste. He could almost see it already, impatience making him imagine his silhouette all curves and muscles in place of the current woman in full performance.
But he never comes, letting the wolf in Hongjoong take control as the evening drew to a close. He never comes.
It was without being able to hold back that the alpha turned violently towards the bar to grab the bartender's arm who was leaning not far from him, tearing from him an exclamation of surprise and pain mixed when his hip came into contact with the counter.
"Where the fuck is he?"
"What the hell fucking psycho!?"
Hongjoong growled, tightening his grip, aware that his time in the place was limited. He could already see the security guard at the entrance rushing towards them armed with two colleagues.
“Please! Where is he? The pink-haired dancer.”
An armlock from the security guard made him lose his grip on the bartender and he groaned as he felt his balance disappear and his head come into contact with the cold, sticky wood of the bar. His panting breaths created condensation on the counter and he screamed when the cut on his cheekbone reopened from rubbing against the furniture, his arms painfully twisted behind his back and his legs blocked. Thus restricted, his wolf growled in defiance and a small slap behind the head made his teeth chatter behind his mask.
“Come on, it’s over, little puppy, get out of here.”
And it was without ceremony that Hongjoong was thrown out of the club, falling onto the damp sidewalk illuminated by the facade. With his eyes closed, he tried to regain control of his wolf who was doing everything to order him to get up and attack the guard who was staring him down. He felt his mask getting sticky with blood and he tore it off his face before taking a deep breath and reopening his eyes. A few steps away from him, the guard was looking at him harshly surrounded by his colleagues, ready to intervene if he decided to attack.
Already exhausted from pain, Hongjoong got up on his knees before crouching down while looking at the 3 men who were watching him carefully. A regular growl resonated in his throat and he wiped the blood from his cheek without taking his eyes off them.
“You don’t want to do this, buddy.”
But that was the problem. He didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know what he should do, didn’t know.
He didn’t know anymore.
And it was finally defeated that Hongjoong let his head fall against his chest as his strength left him and his wolf retracted into him. Shame began to make its way into his mind leaving the feral mist he had fallen into and a small groan escaped him as he fell back to his knees on the wet asphalt. He was exhausted. And he had lost everything. Starting from himself.