Chapter Text
“Lucanis!
I'm sure you're as surprised to receive a letter from me as Viago would be surprised to learn that I can write at all. Before you panic: I'm fine, it's not a goodbye letter, or a break-up letter, or a last will. I'm alive and as well as I can be without you making me food… which is probably not that great and I'm making you worry even more, but I'm fine.
Anyway, I knew you were gonna be busy as First Talon, and you probably knew that our services would be needed again after The Butcher's death, but this is terrible. It's just contract after contract with more work sprinkled on top, when I'm not busy you inevitably are, and Teia told me you've kept asking about me every time I was away, too. She also advised me to write a letter because apparently I “ look like a kicked puppy without Lucanis around, so might as well try some good old correspondence ”, which is not true, by the way! The puppy part! But… yeah, I miss you.
I know I'm terrible at letting you know, and, to be honest, sometimes I'm worried that you'll just give up on me with my jokes one of these days, especially when we don't even see each other for weeks. But I miss you. I keep wondering what you're up to. Are you doing well? Are you sleeping well, if at all? How many people did Spite scare the soul out of with his sleepwalking? Is he bothering you much? Does Spite miss me, and how annoying is it to deal with? Have you managed to find any good coffee out there, or any time to enjoy it at all? What contracts do you even accept to be this busy? We're not exactly privy to the “Dellamorte Business” here in House de Riva, or maybe I'm the only one clueless, as usual. I'm sure you don't need to do everything alone, but Viago wouldn't let me join you, either on principle, or… because you asked him not to to keep me safe, and he's all too happy to suddenly be very obedient with the new First Talon? You know I'm more reckless without anyone looking after me, right? Without you stopping me from doing things I might regret?
I'm joking again, by the way, and I'm trying to do better on my own. Just wish I didn't have to go solo again, work or otherwise. Not to be completely soppy, but I think I miss waking up to the smell of your cooking. My hair doesn't smell like coffee anymore and it makes me sad for some reason. I miss you being the first person I see in the morning, now I just have to stare at Viago's sour face as he gives me more work instead of telling me when you're supposed to come back, and I kind of hate it sometimes. Teia takes me out for drinks when I pass through the Diamond, and I think she pities me and I don't get it.
Can you tell this is all very new to me? I don't like this one bit, but I think I also do. I hate thinking about you all the time and waiting for every barely even a kiss when you pass me in some hallway before disappearing again. I hate how excited I am to receive one and how dependent I am on your presence to feel satisfied with anything now. I hate it, I love it. I love you. There, take that. No promises, but if you drop one of your contracts and come home, I might even say that to your face.
This is getting weird and I may or may not be getting misty-eyed writing this, but I'm waiting, Lucanis.
Hopefully still yours,
Renzo de Riva.”