Work Text:
Sometimes Kaoru thinks sleeping with Kojiro is a mistake. Other times, Kaoru thinks it's the greatest idea he's ever had. It's frustrating, though; he's spent most of his life content in knowing exactly where he stands in Kojiro's life. They've always been best friends and the most persistent thorns in each other's sides. Kaoru had thought they would always stay that way.
They're still friends, of course, but there's a disconcerting current that runs through it now. Should Kaoru push for more? Does Kaoru even want more? Is it okay for him to call Kojiro at three a.m. for a booty call, and can he stab himself through the eye for thinking the words "booty call"? Kaoru sighs and stretches across the couch to poke Kojiro with his big toe.
"Yes, Princess?" Kojiro asks. "Did you need something?"
Kaoru sits up and grabs the remote, shutting off the television. They've been watching some old movie after dinner, but he's done with that now.
"No," Kaoru replies and climbs into Kojiro's lap.
Kojiro looks faintly amused, but Kaoru doesn't miss how his hands go right to Kaoru's waist. How can he with those gorilla meathooks squeezing his sides? Kaoru leans in to capture Kojiro's mouth. Kojiro is a stupid good kisser, to the point that it's almost annoying. His lips are warm and plush, and he gives as good as he takes. When he gets Kaoru to open his mouth, Kojiro's tongue isn't like an unwelcome invader, either. It's more like a soldier returning home after a long absence— efficient, well-trained, and always missed.
Look, Kaoru has had more than one guy actually try to lick his tonsils, so forgive the terrible metaphor. He's not actually sure how to describe how good Kojiro is with his mouth, but without fail it makes Kaoru squirm impatiently.
Kaoru feels Kojiro's hands move from his waist and slide up his back and then back down his arms. Then, his fingers trip their way across Kaoru's chest and clutch at the lapel of his kimono to brush against the skin underneath. Usually, Kaoru wears a juban underneath, but he doesn't bother when Kojiro comes over anymore. What's the point when they're just going to wind up naked anyway? What's the point when all he wants is Kojiro's hands on his skin?
"Hey," Kojiro says, pulling back so he can look into Kaoru's face. "Kaoru, can we try something?"
Kaoru gets momentarily distracted by the question— more accurately, he gets distracted by Kojiro's handsomeness. The lighting in Kaoru's living room is all soft and warm, calibrated by Carla's genius, and it complements the look on Kojiro's face perfectly. His hair is mussed, almost like he styled it that way and not because Kaoru's hands were just tangled up in it. He has the thickest eyelashes Kaoru's ever seen on anyone, something Kaoru considered an absolute travesty when they were teenagers. He was the one spending twenty minutes on his eye makeup every morning and Kojiro gets the perfect lashes? Inexcusable. Now, though, he likes it. After all, Kaoru's the one who gets to see them up close. Kojiro's mouth is pursed into a bow, reddened from their making out, which is unfair because that means Kaoru just wants to kiss some more instead of answering Kojiro's question.
"Try what?" Kaoru asks, looking at the hollow of Kojiro's throat. He leans in to bite Kojiro's neck before he can reply.
Kojiro gasps and his hands now go automatically to Kaoru's thighs, digging in. "Fuck," Kojiro says. "Don't distract me."
"Is this distracting?" Kaoru murmurs into Kojiro's neck. He hooks his fingers into Kojiro's shirt collar and pulls, stretching it. He doesn't feel bad about it. The awful thing probably came from a three-hundred yen sale rack a decade ago. "Tell me, Kojiro."
"Tell you what?" Kojiro groans. Kaoru's not looking at Kojiro's face right then, but they've done this often enough that he can picture Kojiro's glazed expression.
"Tell me what you want to try," Kaoru says. "Dumb ape. Did your monkey brain make you forget already?" At the insult, Kojiro's hips jerk up sharply, grinding into Kaoru.
"Barebacking," Kojiro says, gasping as Kaoru's teeth sink into his neck again. "No pressure. I just— with you— I think we'd both like it."
Kaoru ignores the hot pulse of want that runs through him at that, and instead pulls back and raises both eyebrows. "I can't agree to that, idiot. I don't know where you've been."
Kojiro gives him a weird look. "What do you mean, you don't know where I've been? I've been here, with you."
"Not this very second," Kaoru says. He rolls his eyes. "I mean all of the other seconds. What about everyone from the bars you always go to? Your fanclub? Random people off the street, too, probably. Who knows who else you've been with?"
Kojiro's weird look grows serious. He clutches both of Kaoru's arms. "Kaoru. I've been here," he repeats. "With you. Only you."
"What?" Kaoru scrambles off of Kojiro's lap and stares down at him in disbelief. "Are you trying to tell me that you've exclusively been sleeping with me?"
"Yes," Kojiro says, his eyes wide. "Have you— not been?"
"Of course I have, you imbecile," Kaoru says, clutching both of his hands into fists. "But we're talking about you. For how long?"
"Um," Kojiro says faintly, "we first kissed two months ago, so I guess for two months?"
Kaoru stares at Kojiro for a long time. Yes, they had kissed two months ago, after an S night, together alone at Sia la Luce. That night, Kaoru had skated his first beef since his Adam-shaped accident. It had only been on the short course, but Kaoru had felt fine and he'd even won. After, Kojiro wouldn't stop grinning; he smiled the whole night like it was his own win, and he couldn't even mask how that happiness was for Kaoru alone. At the restaurant, Kojiro had picked Kaoru up and spun him around, and Kaoru didn't ask him to stop. As he was lowering Kaoru back to the ground, Kaoru kissed him and Kojiro, miraculously, kissed him back.
It felt as natural as breathing. That day something in Kaoru's heart cracked and opened, and the feelings he'd denied for so long spilled out everywhere. He hadn't stopped bleeding out since. Kaoru had convinced himself that if he couldn't have all of Kojiro— not someone who was such an outrageous flirt, loved by everyone and with good reason— then at least he could have something.
But this? This thing where Kojiro only wants him is so far outside his calculations that Kaoru can't even deal.
"Carla!" Kaoru shouts and runs from the room.
Carla's bracelet around his wrist vibrates. "Master, your heartbeat is elevated beyond the acceptable range when interacting with Nanjo Kojiro," she tells him.
"Thank you," Kaoru says shakily. He closes himself in his bedroom and sits down on the edge of his bed. "Please initialize relaxation measures."
The room's lights automatically dim and bathe the room in a subtle pink, while calming instrumental music plays. His diffuser begins filling the room with the scent of sandalwood, which reminds him of Kojiro. He should ask Carla to turn it off again, all things considered, but he doesn't.
Instead, he takes a deep, slow breath and asks, "Carla, how long have you been operational?"
"I have been fully operational for six years, Master."
"How long after you became operational did I introduce you to Nanjo Kojiro?"
"Nanjo Kojiro successfully completed his international culinary academy and returned to Okinawa six months and two days after I came online," Carla says. "Master introduced us that day."
Okay. Carla has over five years worth of data about Kojiro. That means she knows how much of a gigolo Kojiro is and can prove how ridiculous it is for him to think that he can be in an exclusive relationship with anyone, let alone Kaoru. The last thing Kaoru wants is to hold Kojiro back. He likes that they're always on equal ground, competing over everything (even though he's obviously the better skater), but Kaoru never, ever wants to be a burden to him. That's why accepting Kojiro's help while he'd recovered from his accident had been so difficult, even if Kaoru secretly liked Kojiro taking care of him. Loved it.
Kaoru shakes his head. No. He has to consider this logically.
"Carla, for the past two months Nanjo Kojiro and I have been— we've been having— um, we've engaged in—"
"Sexual activity, Master?" Carla suggests.
"Yes," Kaoru says, relieved. "Can you please analyze the expressions Kojiro has directed toward me shortly before any contact occurs?"
"Done," Carla says immediately.
"Thank you, Carla," Kaoru says, his heart swelling with the pride anyone would feel about their greatest achievement. "Now please tell me how often you've observed Kojiro looking at people who aren't me with similar expressions."
There's a longer pause this time. "Data not found," Carla eventually concludes. "There are no instances of Nanjo Kojiro looking at anyone aside from you in that manner."
"None?" Kaoru says.
"None," Carla confirms. "However, there are many instances of Nanjo Kojiro with matching expressions directed at you predating two months, Master."
Kaoru blinks. "There are?"
"Yes," Carla says.
"When— when did those start?"
"Master, I do not understand. Please rephrase."
Kaoru clears his throat. "Carla, when is the earliest instance of Nanjo Kojiro making the requested expression, directed at me?"
"Nanjo Kojiro successfully completed his international culinary academy and returned to Okinawa six months and two days after I came online. Master introduced us that day. That is the earliest instance in my data bank."
Kaoru exhales sharply. "Shit," he says, then startles when there's a knock on the bedroom door.
"Kaoru?" Kojiro says from the other side of the door. "Are you done freaking out, or should I go away again?"
"Go away!"
Kojiro opens the door anyway. "Wrong answer," he says. "Or really, it was a trick question because I knew you were gonna be mad at me no matter what I did."
Kaoru doesn't answer, but only because Kojiro's right.
"That means," Kojiro says, "given the choice of you being mad at me while I get to see you or you being mad at me down the hall, I'd rather be near you." His face softens. "If you tell me to go away again now, I will."
Oh, fuck you, Kaoru thinks, feeling himself melt at that. He doesn't even know which one of them he means, but he doesn't tell Kojiro to go away again. After a moment, Kojiro sits down on the bed next to Kaoru, careful to not touch him. Kojiro is always so careful with him; how had he not seen it before? Kaoru lets out a resigned breath, then shifts closer so their legs touch. Then, he puts his head on Kojiro's shoulder and, like magic, all of the tension drains from Kojiro's body. It's shocking to realize that Kojiro had been so tense over this— over him.
"I'm not mad at you," Kaoru says, still a little bit mad. "I was surprised at your revelation of exclusivity. It seems that we've been operating with different parameters."
"I love it when you talk to me like you're a robot," Kojiro says, and Kaoru laughs a little at that. "I figured if you have a robot girlfriend, why can't I have a robot boyfriend?"
Kaoru sits up at that. "Do you think of me as your boyfriend?"
"Well, or partner or significant other or whatever term you're comfortable with," Kojiro says. He suddenly looks unsure, the same way he did out on the couch. "If that's what you want. I know I sound like an idiot, but I've never been in an actual relationship before. You know, not one that lasts more than a couple of weeks."
"Yes, I know," Kaoru says. He gestures between them. "That's why it never occurred to me that was what this was."
"Maybe we should have more conversations, instead of expecting us both to be mind readers."
Kaoru groans. "Ugh. How adult."
"Unfortunately." Kojiro shoots Kaoru a grin, showing off his dimple. Kaoru's always been fond of that dimple. He takes one of Kaoru's hands in both of his. "Okay, I guess I should do this formally. Kaoru, will you go out with me, exclusively, until you get sick of me and break my heart?"
"I'm already sick of you," Kaoru retorts and then adds, more softly, "How do I know you're not going to break my heart?"
"I won't," Kojiro says, so earnest that Kaoru's heart swells. "No matter how I see my life going, there's no possibility that doesn't include you. Doesn't that tell you something?"
Kaoru has never once pictured his own life without Kojiro in it. Even when Adam left them, he knew that Kojiro never would. Even when Kojiro moved to Italy, Kaoru knew that he would come back. When they hooked up for the first time, Kaoru had never thought of it until right before it happened, but that isn't because Kaoru didn't want it. He just never wanted to get his hopes up, for exactly the reason he told Kojiro; he didn't want his heart to shatter. But of course Kojiro would never do that. It seems so obvious now.
"I want— I want everything that you want," Kaoru says haltingly. "A boyfriend. Exclusivity. No heartbreak. No life possibilities without you in them." He bites his bottom lip and stares up at Kojiro from beneath his lashes. "And also what you asked for back on the couch."
Kojiro's eyes go wide. "Kaoru," he says, reverently. He leans over and kisses Kaoru, starting out small and soft, but before long they pick up from where they left off before. Actually, it's somehow even more intense than then. Kojiro barely lets Kaoru get a breath in between each press of their mouths, and his hands cup Kaoru's face like it's something precious. They're still kissing as Kojiro tugs Kaoru to his feet and begins to pull off Kaoru's kimono. It pools on the floor around their feet, and Kaoru doesn't even complain about it. What's the point of complaining about wrinkled clothes when it means that he gets Kojiro's hands on him?
They break apart for a moment when Kojiro pulls his t-shirt over his head. Kaoru doesn't complain about that either, too busy yanking Kojiro in by his belt loops. Kojiro's skin is always so warm, fever-flushed everywhere that their chests now touch. Kaoru gets his mouth on Kojiro's again as he slides Kojiro's belt off, tossing it aside.
The music Carla plays turns more intense, still quiet, but with more of a driving bassline than Kaoru's relaxation mix usually calls for. He's pleased that she's able to roll with his changes of mood, but knows not to mention it to Kojiro. Creepy girlfriend, he'll say, even though she's not. She's perfect, better even than Kaoru's wildest dreams. But mostly he doesn't tell Kojiro because he wants his mouth otherwise occupied. Kojiro pushes his own jeans and boxers to his ankles and steps out of them, then pushes Kaoru back onto the bed. Kaoru bites his bottom lip and watches as Kojiro gets his underwear off, and only a few moments pass as Kojiro grabs Kaoru's lube from his nightstand and throws himself onto the bed next to Kaoru.
"Hi," Kojiro says, grinning, propped up on one elbow. The mattress is still settling from the way Kojiro had leapt onto it, and Kaoru lightly slaps him on the shoulder, right over his tattoo.
"Brute."
"You like it."
Kaoru does. He really does. Instead of admitting that, he slides his hand into Kojiro's hair and tugs hard, startling a gasp out of him. Kaoru swallows up that sound by capturing Kojiro's lips again. Kojiro's late-evening stubble rasps against Kaoru's chin in a way that Kaoru knows he'll be feeling in the morning, but that doesn't stop him from deepening the kiss. Kaoru wants Kojiro's tongue in his mouth, his skin against his skin, wants to feel and see the burn on his skin tomorrow morning, an indelible reminder of everything they are to each other, everything they've been through.
"Can I open you up?" Kojiro asks, breaking away to murmur his question into Kaoru's ear.
"Please," Kaoru replies. He's too affected by Kojiro's voice to be anything other than genuine. Kojiro's answering smile lets him know that he said the right thing.
"Spread your legs for me, beautiful," Kojiro says. He sounds sweet making such a dirty request, something that sort of annoys Kaoru, but not enough to resist. When Kojiro pours out the lube and pushes one of his fingers inside, he kisses Kaoru's mouth again, matching the thrusts of his finger with his tongue. The hand Kaoru has tangled up in Kojiro's hair jerks, pulling hard, and they moan into each other's mouths. Kaoru can't believe how far gone he is already, coherent thought already leaving him as Kojiro surrounds him. They've barely even started yet; is Kaoru really that keyed up?
As Kojiro slides two more fingers into him, a hard push that has Kaoru breaking away to cry out, he knows the answer is yes. Kojiro props himself up on his free hand to gaze down at Kaoru, and seals their mouths together again. Kojiro's fingers are rough, but precise, showing Kaoru exactly how well Kojiro has learned his body over the last couple of months. It doesn't take long for Kojiro to find that mind-blowing spot inside him, rubbing it over and over until Kaoru realizes he's whining into Kojiro's mouth. He reaches down to give his cock some relief, but Kojiro pulls back to look at him.
"Can I just keep touching you like this for a little while first?" Kojiro asks. "You always look so hot while I'm fingering you. I promise the handjob of your life if this goes nowhere."
Kaoru grumbles, "So experimental tonight." Kojiro laughs, but still waits for an answer. He doesn't know if his body is capable of what Kojiro is asking, but if anyone can pull it off, it's him. Reluctantly, Kaoru gives himself an apologetic squeeze and lets go, and Kojiro rewards him by redoubling his efforts. He climbs in between Kaoru's spread legs and ducks his head to bite at Kaoru's throat and shoulder, dragging his tongue lower to lick and suck on Kaoru's nipples. "You should put your piercings back in," Kojiro suggests casually, his lips buzzing against Kaoru's skin. Then, he curls his fingers in such a way that Kaoru moans and arches his back. "The bars, maybe. They're so hot and you're so sensitive with them in."
"I'll put them again in for S," Kaoru promises, and Kojiro rewards him by biting down hard on one nipple. It feels like there's an electric current running through him, connecting his skin to Kojiro's mouth and hands, and the inexorable quest of Kojiro's fingers completes the circuit.
"How are you feeling?"
"Good. Weird," Kaoru says. Each word comes out as a punctuation of breath. "It's like I'm on the edge of something and about to fall off, you know? Ngh."
"Should we keep going?"
"Yeah." Kaoru lets his hands fall to the bed, twisting them up in the sheets as Kojiro's thrusts get faster. "I want your cock in me. Want to feel it bare."
"Soon, baby," Kojiro coos. "I promise."
They kiss again, rough and more intense than before. Kojiro is relentless with his fingers. Kaoru can feel them curling and spreading, getting him slick and open and ready for Kojiro's dick. The idea of Kojiro keeping his ass spread open with his hands while fucking Kaoru with his cock makes a hot pulse of need buzz through him.
"Fuck, you're squeezing me so tight," Kojiro says, noticing. "Feeling good?"
"Uh-huh." Kaoru rhythmically rocks onto Kojiro's fingers, moaning like he'll never be able to stop again. He matches Kojiro's pace, tries to get him to move faster. He's amazed that this is working. Kojiro is so fucking good at this, and they work together so well, even when they're arguing and pretending they don't. It's nothing he didn't know already, but knowing that's true for everything is a heady thing. "Kojiro," Kaoru mumbles. "I'm so close."
Kojiro speaks against Kaoru's ear, his lips brushing against the skin. "Let go for me, Kaoru. I'll fuck you through your next one."
"Fuck," Kaoru cries out, and comes from only Kojiro's fingers. With no hand or mouth on his cock, it jerks into nothing, spilling out across Kaoru's stomach, his chest, and even some all the way up by his shoulder. After he exhales shakily and says, "I can't believe I did that."
"Knew you could," Kojiro says, which is terrible because he's going to be so smug later. He licks Kaoru's shoulder, getting rid of part of the mess that way, and presses their bodies together. Kojiro grinds into him, finally giving himself some relief, so unbelievably hard that Kaoru can make out the entire shape of his dick against Kaoru's thigh. "You're going to kill me one day," Kojiro says, rutting hard. "You're so fucking hot."
Kaoru ignores the mess all over him for now— they're just going to get messed up again anyway— and reaches between them to curl his fingers around Kojiro's cock.
"Oh," Kojiro says sweetly, eyes shut tight as he wets his mouth. "You're gonna make me come if you keep doing that."
"Just wanted to memorize how you feel in my hand," Kaoru murmurs, and Kojiro instantly fucks into the circle of Kaoru's fist.
"Kaoru," Kojiro says mournfully. "You can't just say things like that."
"I can," Kaoru says stubbornly. "I'm your boyfriend now. Your one and only. If I can't say it, who can?"
Kojiro laughs breathlessly and drops his forehead to Kaoru's. "I hate it when I can't argue back."
"I know," Kaoru says smugly. He grabs the discarded lube from the bed and rolls them both in one smooth motion, throwing Kojiro onto his back. The come on his chest and stomach hasn't dried yet and slides its way down; he wants to be more grossed out than he is, but he's too busy slicking up his palm and getting his hand around Kojiro again. It's his come, mixed with their sweat and the lube, and soon Kojiro's going to fill him up, too. Yeah, he's going to need a hell of a shower afterward, but sharing everything with Kojiro just keeps taking on better, more important meaning, and realizing that has Kaoru more relaxed than he usually is. That's just Kojiro's effect on him.
Kaoru straddles Kojiro's lap and lowers himself, checking Kojiro's face to make sure this is still all right. What he finds there is devastating— in a good way. Kojiro has a look on his face that's nothing short of besotted and realizes this is the expression Carla found in her data. It wasn't just Kojiro being hot and horny for him, though it's definitely that, too. Kojiro lets out a punched out breath and grabs Kaoru's hips, thrusting up hard enough to make Kaoru bounce in his lap.
"You've gotta feel this, Kaoru," Kojiro says. He jerks up again as Kaoru leans down to put his hand at the center of Kojiro's chest and starts to rise up and down, setting a rhythm. It's not as fast as he wants, but he can't help teasing Kojiro, who must be pretty pent up by now.
"How?" Kaoru says, amused. He knows what Kojiro means, though. Without a condom, Kojiro feels hotter inside. They feel closer. Kaoru knows logically that this is ridiculous, but fuck logic.
"I don't know." Kojiro laughs. "You always feel so tight and hot and you ride me so good, but I don't know. This is more. Fuck me next time! Then you'll see."
Kaoru groans at that, getting fully hard again all at once. Kojiro has started rolling his hips to match Kaoru's up-down movements, and he gasps when Kojiro reaches between them to take him in hand.
"Good?" Kojiro asks.
"Yeah," Kaoru pants. "Better than good."
Kojiro grins at that and rewards Kaoru by tightening his hand and stroking more firmly. This is so not fair; Kaoru already came once, he thought he'd have Kojiro popping off in a few minutes, but Kojiro's so good with his hands. A calligrapher really shouldn't have any competition when it comes to good with hands, so of course Kaoru is fucking a goddamn chef. Typical. But then Kaoru whimpers and clenches down, riding Kojiro harder, and suddenly Kojiro's moaning so loud that the walls almost shake.
"I love that you're noisy," Kaoru gasps, leaning back in Kojiro's lap so he can reach behind him to grab the gorilla's muscular thighs. The change in angle has him seeing stars, staring up at the ceiling to just take in the sensations as Kojiro thrusts into him while stroking his cock. "Love all your sounds."
"Love yours, too," Kojiro says, and groans. "Love— everything— Kaoru— fuck!"
"Kojiro."
"Yeah, say my name like that," Kojiro says. He lets go of Kaoru's dick and grabs both of his hips hard, fucking Kaoru so good that all Kaoru can do is hold onto Kojiro's thighs and take it. "Never stop saying my name."
Kaoru indulges Kojiro, chanting his name again and again as Kojiro keeps letting out bitten off cries. The only warning Kaoru gets is Kojiro gasping, "Oh," and suddenly he's coming inside of Kaoru. It feels like it goes on and on, and Kaoru thinks he can sense every pulse. Once Kojiro's spent, he rolls them again and pulls out with a sound that would disgust Kaoru under normal circumstances. Now, though, he barely has time to think about it before Kojiro goes down on Kaoru, sucking him so good and moaning so loud around him that it's only a couple of minutes before Kaoru follows again.
After, Kojiro, grinning, throws himself next to Kaoru on the mattress again, just like he had when they first got going. He's so happy that the emotion is radiating off of him in waves. Kaoru feels a little stunned because he's still coming down from his last orgasm, and he's also covered in way too many bodily fluids, but after letting out a shuddery breath, Kaoru manages to smile back. Kojiro kisses Kaoru's forehead and Kaoru snuggles into him, making sure Kojiro is as much of a mess as he is.
A little while later, Kojiro helps him into the shower, and after Kaoru cleans up, he wanders back into his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Kojiro pushes past him to take his own shower, making sure he's already long gone as Kaoru realizes Kojiro has changed the bedding, started a load of laundry in the Carlawasher, and laid out Kaoru's sleeping yukata. There's even a snack waiting for him, presented beautifully, because of course that idiot takes every opportunity to be Chef Showoff.
Fuck. Kojiro is going to be so annoying in another way now. This is Kojiro as boyfriend material, as the one Kaoru's been bringing home to his parents since he was five-years-old.
"Carla, please set lighting and music to bedtime," Kaoru says. See? He can set the mood, too.
"Yes, Master," Carla says. The ambiance of the room changes. Then, there's a pause. "Master, may I share an observation?"
This is unusual behavior for her, but she is designed to grow and change over time. "Of course, Carla," Kaoru says, intensely interested as he sits on the bed.
"The expression you are wearing right now is one you only display around Nanjo Kojiro."
Kaoru blinks and reaches up to touch his face. He can tell he's smiling, and he's not sure if he can stop. Doesn't know if he wants to. "Carla, how long ago did you first notice me wearing this expression?" he asks, suspecting he knows the answer.
"Nanjo Kojiro successfully completed his international culinary academy and returned to Okinawa six months and two days after I came online," Carla says. "That is the earliest instance in my data bank."
"Of course," Kaoru says. He exhales.
Kojiro comes out of the bathroom then, wearing the tiniest shorts Kaoru has ever seen. After a moment, he realizes they're his and Kojiro's stretching them out. Oh, they're so fighting about this. Tomorrow, though, he thinks and holds out his arms to Kojiro so they can go to bed together.
That's what couples do, right?