Work Text:
“stop squirming," andre hissed through gritted teeth, his hands digging into cal's shoulders as he tried to hold him still.
andre hadnt really wanted to do this, but it felt right. it felt like the natural progression of things. as if their bond had led them to this moment, to this intimacy that only they could share. and really, what did cal expect, sneaking over to andres house in the middle of the night?
"andre. off. get off," cal said, his voice low and even. but his body was rigid, his muscles tight as he lay on the cold floor of andre's room, his friend's weight pressing down on him.
cals resistence disgusted him. how could calvin not see the love that andre saw? andre's thoughts raced as he pushed calvin down, his knees digging into the hardwood floor. cal's eyes were wide as saucers, the blond lashes fluttering. but andre knew the truth. deep down, cal knew what he was doing, the way he leaned into him, the way he had looked at him tonight. he was fucking with andre. and andre was determined to make him quit it.
his trembling hands found the button of cal's cargo pants, fumbling with the cold metal. the sound was deafening in the quiet room, a stark contrast to the rhythmic throb of their hearts. it was like he could hear cal's pulse in his ears, a wild, erratic drumming that matched his own.
the zipper was next, and andre took his time, feeling the coarse fabric of the pants as he pulled them down, inch by inch. the sound of the teeth separating seemed to echo in the stillness. cal's breaths were shallow, his eyes flickering between anger and something else, something andre didn't dare to name.
cal's skin was cold and clammy beneath andre's hands as he pushed the jeans down over his hips, the fabric sticking to cal's skin. andre could feel the tension in cal's body, the way his legs were trying to kick out, to push andre away. but andre was stronger, fueled by the intensity of his emotions, the need to claim what he felt was rightfully his.
"andre. you're scaring me." cal's voice was monotone, devoid of its usual rasp or inflection. he was still as a statue beneath andre's weight, his eyes unblinking and eerily calm.
andres heart raced as he worked to free cal from the confines of his underwear. still soft, andre was dissapointed to see. it was a strange feeling, seeing cal's nakedness so openly, feeling his skin against his own. "im sorry, cal. don't be scared," he murmured, trying to gentle his voice. but the words felt forced, a lie that even he didn't quite believe. "cmon. open your mouth," he cooed, his thumb tracing cal's bottom lip. "just let me in."
cal just glared at andre, his body trembling. andre leaned down, his eyes searching cal's, looking for any sign of acceptance, of love, of understanding. he didn't find much of anything. instead, he shoved his fingers inside cals mouth, feeling the wetness of his saliva, the heat of his breath. he pulled them out before cal could bite down, and coated in spit, brought them down between cals legs.
his heart hammered in his chest as he spread cal's legs further apart, feeling the heat radiating from his body. andre knew that cal was a virgin, that he had never been with a guy before, and that made it all the more precious, all the more right. it was perfect for them. for andre to be cals first, and cal, andres. he spat on his fingers again before pushing one inside cal's ass, watching as the muscles tightened around him.
cal's eyes squeezed shut, his body tense as andre moved his digit in and out, trying to get him used to the feeling. "just relax, cal," andre whispered, his voice thick with desire. "you're good. it won't hurt if you relax. you know you wanna."
but cal didn't relax. instead, his body coiled like a spring, and with a sudden burst of strength, he kicked andre in the stomach with a loud grunt. andre recoiled, his eyes wide with shock and pain. the wind knocked out of him, he sat back, his hand coming off cal's body.
cal sat up, and andre hesitated, but the blonde made no move to get up, his eyes flicking from andre's face to the door, and back again.
andre shot forward, his hand coming up to slam cal's head into the floor with a sickening crack. the impact reverberated through the room, sending a jolt of adrenaline through his body. calvin's eyes squeezed shut, and he let out a pained yelp as his head bounced off the hard surface.
without hesitating, andre pushed himself back onto calvin, his hand snaking up to cover his mouth, muffling any sounds he might make. "shut up. my parents are upstairs sleeping. if you wake them, ill kill you."
with his other hand, he tried again to push his fingers inside, his movements more insistent now, fueled by anger and desperation. he knew calvin felt the same way, deep down. he was just lying to himself, playing innocent. calvin's eyes grew wider as he felt the intrusion, his body taut as a bowstring. but andre wasn't about to stop, after all, he was already this far in.
his hand moved in a steady rhythm, pushing and retreating, stretching cal's tight opening, his own breathing heavy and ragged. the room was filled with the sound of their harsh breaths and the quiet sound of skin on skin. cal's body was cold and shaking beneath him, his eyes staring straight ahead, unblinking.
"you're okay," andre murmured, his voice strained. "it's just me. i'm not going to hurt you. i just want to be close."
when andre deemed cal to be prepared enough, he withdrew his hand with a wet pop and reached down to free his own erection. it bobbed in the air between them, the head shiny with precum. his heart was racing, his blood pulsing through his veins, and he could feel the heat of his arousal like it was a living entity, demanding to be sated.
he pulled his hand away from cals mouth, wiping the spit on the carpet. his cock was throbbing, begging to be buried inside his best friend. "i know you want this," andre said, his voice hoarse and desperate. "i know it."
cal stared. "andre. you're not going to do this. you're going to get up and get dressed, and we're going to pretend this never happened, okay?"
that wasnt what andre wanted to hear. not even close. he grabbed a fistful of cal's shaggy white-blond hair and slammed his head down again, hard enough to make cal's teeth clack together. "stop. fighting. me."
cal's eyes rolled back in his head briefly, stars probably dancing in his vision from the impact. he gulped, swallowed a mouthful of blood that andre assumed came from biting his own tongue. he didn't know why cal was fighting it. and he didn't know why cals resistence just served to turn him on more.
his cock was rock hard, straining against his stomach, and he lined it up with cal's entrance, feeling the heat of his body, the tremble of his muscles. cal stared. his eyes looked empty, and andre would be lying if he said he didn't find it a bit offputting. but that was calvin for you, always so closed off, always so difficult to read.
andre groaned when he pushed inside of cal, feeling the tightness clench around his shaft. cal let out a muffled whine, his body jerking with the intrusion. andre's eyes rolled back in his head, the feeling was overwhelming.
the pain was written all over cal's face, his eyes watering and nose scrunched up like he was about to cry. but andre didn't stop. he couldn't. this was what they were meant to be. this was what they were meant to do. and cal knew it. he had always known it. it had all led up to this, every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every fucking thing that had ever happened between them.
as andre thrust into cal, he felt a strange mix of pleasure and anger. pleasure at the feel of cal's body around him, anger at the way cal was fighting him. but it was a good anger. it was an anger that fueled him, that made him feel alive. he hoped calvin could feel it too.
cal grunted with each thrust, his face a mask of pain, but his eyes were eerily calm. it was like he was somewhere else, somewhere far away from this room, this moment. andre watched him closely, searching for any sign that he was enjoying it, any indication that this was what he truly wanted. but all he saw was a blank stare, unsettling in its emptiness. but that was calvin. that was always fucking calvin.
so andre slammed cal's head back down again, his grip on his hair tightening until cal let out a little yelp. "act like a fucking human for once," andre hissed, his voice strained with the effort of keeping his own emotions in check. "fuck, i know you want this. you're just playing hard to get."
cal's eyes snapped back to focus on andre's face, and for a moment, there was a flash of something in them that andre couldn't quite pinpoint. anger? sadness? betrayal? but it was gone as quickly as it had come, and cal's body went limp beneath him. it was like he had given up, accepted his fate. and that just made andre want him more.
he wondered if this was what normal boys his age felt like with girls. probably not. normal boys didn’t force themselves on anyone. but andre wasn’t normal. cal knew that. and deep down, cal knew he wasn’t normal either. so maybe this was normal for them. the thought was comforting.
his hips stuttered, and he felt the warmth spurt inside cal. it was over so fast that it was almost embarrassing. he half expected cal to make some sort of snide remark, but instead, cal just lay there, unmoving, his eyes wide open.
andre pulled out and slumped beside cal, his breathing ragged and his chest heaving. the silence was deafening, the only sound the distant hum of a cricket outside. cal's body was still trembling slightly, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. andre didn't know what to say, but the silence was suffocating him.
"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he tried to joke, but his voice cracked. the words hung in the air, unanswered. cal's eyes remained on the ceiling, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. andre reached out and touched his arm, feeling the goosebumps that had formed on his cold, clammy skin. "cal?"
calvin turned to look at him, his eyes clear of any emotion, his voice cold and hard. "you disgust me, andre." the words were like a slap across the face, and andre felt his cheeks burn. "you're filthy. fuckin' faggot."
the statement was like a knife to andre's gut, twisting and turning, ripping him apart from the inside out. but instead of anger, he felt a strange mix of pain and relief. finally, cal was saying what andre had always feared he thought. it was out in the open now. no more pretending.
andre sat up, his cock already softening, and put himself back in his pants. "i'll drive you home," he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. like it didn't belong to him.
cal's eyes didn't leave the ceiling. "no," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "i'll stay here."
andre's heart skipped a beat. he hadn't expected that. "are you sure?"
cal nodded, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. "yes."
andre felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment. on one hand, cal was staying, which meant maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t completely ruined things. on the other, the coldness in cal's voice was like a slap in the face. but he didn’t dare push it. instead, he got up and grabbed a blanket from his bed, tossing it over cal's shaking form. "are you okay?" he asked tentatively.
cal's eyes remained on the ceiling, not moving an inch. "no," he said, his voice flat. "but i'll live."
with that, calvin sat up and grabbed his pants, pulling them up with shaking hands. andre watched him, feeling a strange sense of detachment, like he was watching a scene unfold in a movie rather than living it himself. the fabric slid over cal's hips, the material cold against his skin, sticking slightly to his wet thighs. the act was jerky and mechanical, like a robot trying to mimic human movements.
cal didn't bother with his underwear, leaving it in a crumpled mess on the floor. andre noticed the blood soaking through the fabric of his pants and the way it was matting his shaggy hair, sticking it to the back of his head. the sight should have made him feel something—guilt, remorse, disgust—but all he felt was a dull ache, a gaping hole where those feelings should have been.
he watched as cal stumbled to his feet, his legs wobbly like a newborn deer's. "are you okay?" andre asked again, his voice sounding more like a stranger's than his own.
cal just looked at him, his blue eyes glazed over with something unreadable. "yeah," he said finally, his voice hollow. "i just need...i need to lie down. can we watch a movie?"
andre felt his heart drop into his stomach, but he nodded, eager to do anything to make things right. "yeah, of course. whatever you want." he jumped to his feet and grabbed the remote. "what movie?"
cal's eyes never left the floor. "scream."
usually, andre would complain about cal's choice of movies, but tonight, he didn't have the energy. instead, he just nodded and turned on the TV, scrolling through the list of available titles. when he found 'scream', he selected it and tossed the remote onto the bed.
cal walked over to the bed and sat down, his movements stiff and deliberate. andre sat beside him, leaving a respectful gap between them. the room felt like it was closing in around them, the air thick with the scent of sex and regret.
the movie started, the sound of the opening credits filling the room. calvin didn't move, his eyes staring straight ahead as the movie unfolded on the screen. andre wanted to vomit. everything was fucked up now. he had wanted this, had dreamt of it, had fantasized about it for so long, and now it was a mess. cal was acting like andre was a stranger.
fuck.