Volleymeme

by artrology

Summary:

Haikyuu!! groupchat au. this was inspired by another groupchat au fic about hamilton and its the best Ever. so i made a haikyuu one and i love it its great. everyone is gay and great and i want Death. this entire fic is just one big Fucking Shitpost lmao.

Notes:

• Inspired by Hamsquad™ by rescuemechinboyandshowmethestars

ok so ?? i hc a bunch of hq characters as queer as fuck like. i fuckin protect genderfluid kageyama w all my heart (i also hc him as trans masc soooo). n also aro/ace kiyoko is sosoO SO sosos Oso important ?? i also think a poly relationship between tsukki/yamaguchi/yachi would be the cutest thing sooo. there u go.
pronouns for genderqueer characters: kageyama - he/they (and she maybe??? idk), yamaguchi - they/them (im probably gna add other teams groupchat in the future but rn im keepin it in the karasuno squad)

Chapter 1: karasuno skwad

Summary:

so hinata makes a groupchat with the intended purpose to talk about volleyball,, but thats not exactly how it goes down. yamaguchi tries defending tsukishima in an argument between tsukki and kageyama but that doesnt go right. tanaka and noya are added to the chat and suga wants death. daichi tries to be a good father but it doesnt go right. nothing in this entire chat goes right basically.

Notes:

these are the usernames: atanih10 = hinata, swageyama = kageyama, tsukkisaurus = tsukishima, yamagucci (this ones my fav tbh) = yamaguchi, dadchi = daichi, sugamama = sugawara, rollingthunderrr = nishinoya, ladykiller5 = tanaka
(other usernames will be added in later chapters when the other characters come up)

You have joined the group: "crow fuckers"

atanih10 has added swageyama to the group: "crow fuckers"
           

            tsukkisaurus: hinata what the fuck

            atanih10: ???

            tsukkisaurus: whyd u add fuckeryama to the chat

            dadchi: Stop swearing, Tsukishima.

            atanih10: ?? wtf ?

            atanih10: this chat is literally for the entire vball club

            tsukkisaurus: yeah but no one likes him

            yamagucci: haha good one tsukki

            swageyama: wtf tsukishima

            atanih10: i like them tho ?

            tsukkisaurus: no u dont stop tryna make them feel better about themselves

            swageyama: ......

            atanih10: kageyama is literally my boyfriend what the fuck

            swageyama: lmao ppl may not like me but at least im not ugly u rat

            sugamama: fucking stop oh my god

            dadchi: STOP SWEARING!!

            yamagucci: ok wtf kageyama back off

            swageyama: stay out of this yamaguchi

            yamagucci: nah bih talk shit about my man and i will fucking deck u

            atanih10: lmao rekt

            swageyama: 1) stay in ur lane yama 2) what the fuck hinata

            yamagucci: i am in my lane tho??? bc i love tsukki?

            tsukkisaurus: thanks tadashi i love me too

            yamagucci: ..........

            swageyama: .......

            atanih10: ..........

            sugamama: .........

            dadchi: ..........

            swageyama: tsukishima: cancelled

            yamagucci: u know what kageyama

            yamagucci: say what u want about tsukki i dont even give a shit anymore

            tsukkisaurus: ok wtf yama i was kidding

            yamagucci: no u werent u egocentric dickhead

            tsukkisaurus: ........ ok thats true

            yamagucci: oh my god

            yamagucci: i cant believe tsukki is no longer my boyfriend

            swageyama: SHIT

            atanih10: OH FUCKKKKKK

            tsukkisaurus: WHAT THE FUCK TADASHI

            sugamama: i hate this team

            dadchi: Please stop swearing. Also, this chat was made for discussing volleyball, not for dragging your boyfriends.

            atanih10: JFKASIODJKF

            atanih10: tag urself im "this chat was made for discussing volleyball, not for dragging your boyfriends"

            swageyama: im "i hate this team"

            sugamama: daichi be thankful nishinoya and tanaka arent in the chat

            atanih10: not yet

            sugamama: hinata dont you dare

            atanih10: mother im so sorry

            sugamama: im gonna disown you

atanih10 has added rollingthunderrr to the group: "crow fuckers"

atanib10 has added ladykiller5 to the group: "crow fuckers"

            sugamama: I Can't Believe You've Done This 

            ladykiller5: ayyyyyy waz up

            dadchi: Why is that your username?

            rollingthunderrr: WHAT THE FUCK IS UPPPPP

            sugamama: i want Death™

            tsukkisaurus: as if having hinata and kageyama in the chat wasnt annoying enough

            ladykiller5: WHAT THE FUCK FOUR EYES

            ladykiller5: YOU WANNA FUCKING GO LETS FUCKING GO SMARTASS

            sugamama: im sos Sos osOsos o dead inside

            dadchi: You kids should behave. You're killing your mother.

            sugamama: thanks babe luv u

            dadchi: I love you too.

            ladykiller5: what the fuck get that away from me

            rollingthunderrr: lmao gayyyyyyyyyyy

            swageyama: uhhh noya senpai arent u gay

            atanih10: noya senpai ur literally the gayest to Ever Gay for asahi dont even fucking try

            rollingthunderrr: what the fuck? im bi? get it right fuckers

            rollingthunderrr: speaking of which is asahi in this chat

            atanih10: no i havent added him yet

            rollingthunderrr: ....what the fuck

            rollingthunderrr: Never Talk To Me Again.

rollingthunderrr has left the group

            swageyama: oh my god

            sugamama: THANK FUCK

            atanih10: hes so far up asahis ass tf

            dadchi: No one is going up anyone's butthole!

            tsukkisaurus: youre one to talk

            atanih10: KSJDKDKS

            sugamama: WHTA TGE FUCK

            ladykiller5: fuUCK

dadchi has left the group

            swageyama: OOOOH MY GOD

            sugamama: you guys are dead tomorrow fuckin rip in pieces

            atanih10: WHAT DID WE DO ??? TSUKKI DID IT?

            tsukkisaurus: wtf dont call me that ugly

            atanih10: its in ur username?

            swageyama: wtf the fuck who are u calling ugly, ugly?

            yamagucci: who tf are YOU calling ugly, ugly?

            atanih10: i thought you and tsukishima broke up

            yamagucci: i changed my mind

            ladykiller5: WAIT YAMAGUCHI AND TSUKISHIMA BROKE UP???

            atanih10: yeah tsukishima was being a dick again

            tsukkisaurus: excuse me

            yamagucci: excuse me

            yamagucci: actually yeah hinata wasnt lying

            tsukkisaurus: tadashi i was joking ???

            tsukkisaurus: i love you

            yamagucci: IM CRYIGB

            yamagucci: I LOVE YOU TOO FUCBJ

            ladykiller5: wtf am i the only straight one here

            atanih10: i smell bs

            swageyama: sounds fake but ok

            sugamama: this chat isnt even about volleyball anymore rip

            tsukkisaurus: Who's Volleyball?

            ladykiller5: FUCKIND SAME

            swageyama: shut up dickishima u dont know anything about volleyball

            tsukkisaurus: why do you talk about volleyball as if its your boyfriend

            swageyama: because it is. I <3 Volleyball :)

            atanih10: what the fucj delete this

            tsukkisaurus: ok but hinata or volleyball

            atanih10: kageyama i swear to god

            swageyama: .......

            atanih10: TOBIO

            swageyama: hinata im so sorry

            tsukkisaurus: FUCKING LMAOOOO

atanih10 has removed swageyama from the group


            ladykiller5: rip in pieces kageyama tobio u will be missed

            tsukkisaurus: no they wont

            atanih10: no they wont

            yamagucci: ok me

            sugamama: i Hate Everything