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Bucky just knew things. For example, he'd had to be taught what each of the buttons on the microwave did but could apparently speak Tolkien Elvish and knew the care and life cycles of at least 40 cacti (an Assemble alert had interrupted that particular test). Hundreds of buried skills seemed to be making themselves known, so much so that the other Avengers had taken to asking random questions to see if he knew the answer.
When they'd tried this with Winter, he'd told them not to ask again. And, yeah, fair enough - the guy had the traumatic memories that were related to learning and using each of the skills and pieces of knowledge he knew. It wasn't like it was hard to avoid asking him, anyway, because Winter was rarely the one in control during the day.
But at night, he wandered. He'd taken to bringing the violin he'd gotten from who-knew-where around with him at night and playing the most haunting of tunes. No one was really sure why he did it and it seemed no one could predict when he would be playing.
No one actually knew the full history of Bucky, or they'd have figured it out faster.
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"You know," Steve said once, "for a guy who always wears a mask, you seem awfully familiar. I feel bad for not knowing why."
"There's no need to," was all Bucky replied.
"My best friend was called Bucky."
"I know. Even I've read a history textbook."
"I thought with the whole Russian thing you might not have read about that."
"I'm not Russian."
"You're not?"
"I'm American originally."
"Where abouts?"
"New York."
"Fifty years was a long time to have been stuck in HYDRA...."
"If you're asking if I was around then to meet the first Captain America, I'm asking why you think I'm 90."
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The music wasn't always sad. Sometimes it was happy, sometimes it was energetic, sometimes it was angry. What it always was was emotional.
It was one of the first things that clued the team into the fact that Winter had emotions too.
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Winter and Bucky had a new mask. The old one, scratched and worn with the voice filter that produced a grating, harsh tone, had been replaced. The new mask covered roughly the same amount of their face but was made of a stronger material, and the filter was far smoother, producing a mostly emotionless voice.
It was eventually Clint who broached the subject. "Why the new mask? You don't need to take away the emotions - none of us have any clue who you are."
"Stark offered. And you never know."
"Don't you trust us?" he continued with his typical brand of tact.
Bucky tilted his head, "It's not about whether I trust or not."
"Then what's it about?"
"Whether I'm ready." And with that mysterious remark, he left the kitchen.
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Winter started playing other music, too. He wasn't perfect, but that was very recognisably Ed Sheeran that everyone could hear one night over the speakers (no one was sure why JARVIS sometimes played his music on them during the middle of the night).
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When Bucky had first removed the mask in front of Tony, he was dreading the man's reaction.
As usual with Tony, he needn't have worried. The first words put of the billionaire's mouth were, "Oh my god you're hot, please fuck me now," followed with, "I don't like how that mask digs into your face if it's leaving red marks like that, can I make you a new one?"
Bucky had been so relieved that he could've cried. Instead he said yes to both things.
Later that night, laying beside Tony in the dark, he worked up the courage to ask, "Do you really not know?"
He felt Tony's hand come to rest in his hair as the other man softly replied. "Steve had a few photos of you. I thought you wouldn't want it mentioned. I don't care, so I didn't bother stressing you out."
"I...." Bucky swallowed, wondering if it would be too soon to ask. "Can I... can we keep doing this?"
"We can do whatever you want. As long as you're on board, so am I."
Bucky smiled widely and tightened the arm around Tony. "I think I might be in love," he whispered.
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"I saw Winter last night," Scott eagerly told the others one morning, as soon as Bucky had left the room (he was always enthusiastic, and nobody knew where Stark had found him). "He wasn't wearing his mask."
"What did he look like?" Clint asked.
"I couldn't see, I was too far away and it was pretty dark. But he was crying."
"How do you know that if you couldn't see his face properly?"
"The moonlight caught on them. I could see the shine but I couldn't make out the details of his face."
"Do you think he does that every time he plays the sad music?" Steve murmured.
They all looked to Natasha for an answer.
She sighed, seeming resigned, "There are almost certainly a lot of things that I don't know about Winter, but I do know he has a lot to be sad about. But I also never knew he could play violin."
"But that kind of skill...," Steve began, looking troubled, "My Bucky used to play on this violin that was a family heirloom or something. His mother taught him. My Bucky was amazing at it, and Winter looks to at be on his level. Supersoldier or not, it wouldve taken years."
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Tony had always been an insomniac, even before the nightmares and PTSD. Some nights, he knew he just wouldn't be able to sleep. It was those nights that he went down to the lab to tinker, and when Bucky was awake too, it was also when he and Winter went wandering.
When Tony woke up crying, or screaming, or terrified, Bucky was always there to comfort him. He wouldnt leave Tony alone like that, unless the other man asked.
Bucky didn't understand why the public seemed to hate Tony so much. Sure, Tony played up his asshole image, but he wasn't actually like that. Sure, not knowing he was Iron Man probably made it harder to see, but the point remained. He wondered what it would be like if people didn't have masks and secrets. How would people treat others?
He wondered how the people around him would treat him if they knew his secret.
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"Bucky?"
Winter turned to face Sam, waiting to see what he had to say.
"Can I please talk to Winter?"
"No."
"It's important!"
"He's unavailable right now."
"When can I speak to him, then?"
Winter shrugged. "Whenever he is available for talking."
"Bucky-"
"No."
"I really need to-"
"Whatever it is, you can say it to me."
"I don't think I can, Bucky. It's private."
"Sam," because apparently they were using that tactic, "the guy shares a body with me. It doesn't get much more intimate than that."
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"It really doesn't bother you?"
"You said yourself that Winter isn't really into the whole sex thing and tends to just sleep through it, or whatever it is you guys do in there."
"But he doesn't always. Sometimes he pays attention. Sometimes he gives me a suggestion because he wants to see you feel good."
"Eh, so what? You two are pretty tangled together in there but it's not like I haven't had fun with multiple partners at the same time before."
"Tony, do you have another secret kink I should know about?"
"Hey, if I like the idea of him listening in and paying attention, that's my business and nobody else's."
Bucky gave a meaningful look at Tony's crotch, "Oh really?"
Tony nodded.
Bucky shrugged and got up. "Well then, you deal with that, I'm going to shower."
"Hey! Don't leave me hanging here!"
"But it's not my business." Bucky smirked over his shoulder.
"I take it back! Please Bucky-"
"Begging already?"
"Buckyyyyyy!"
"Fine, fine. You know I could never deny you anything for long, anyway."
----------
The room quieted as Steve stood up. "Alright, after thinking about this for a while, I've decided that we need to step up team bonding. We trust eachother, but not enough."
"So what are you proposing?" Iron Man's artificial voice was slightly too loud - clearly Tony hadn't fixed that fault yet, Bucky thought to himself. It was probably his fault for distracting him.
"I propose that we go around revealing things about ourselves for the next hour or so. Just share what you feel comfortable with telling us."
The team was silent at that.
"I think it could really help us. And I thought Bucky and Winter could both get turns." Steve added.
----------
"When do you think you'll be ready to tell them?"
"I guess I'll just know. What about you?"
"You really think they're going to trust Iron Man knowing he's me?"
"If they don't, they're idiots."
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"I'm going to wish we were drinking something stronger than beer then," Iron Man sighed, accepting the drink that Bucky opened and passed him. He flipped his faceplate up, and took a deep sip and lowered the bottle so they could see his face. "Surprise."
The team, barring Bucky because he'd already known, looked first surprised, then relieved.
"At least you're someone I can stand," mumbled Clint after an awkward moment of silence.
Tony grinned, "You're one of the only ones who can. Widow, you're up."
"I'm a trained ballet dancer." She said after a long moment.
"Can we know why you picked that to share?" Steve asked gently.
"...Not yet. It wasn't a great experience." Bucky knew only some of the story and still knew she was vastly underselling it.
"Me now?" Clint asked, bouncing when everyone nodded. "I grew up in a circus."
"I have a criminal record," Scott muttered, "but I am definitely not ashamed of it."
It was Steve's turn now. The blond took a deep breath and said "I'm the original Captain America."
"From the forties?" Scott asked, and when Steve nodded, all but squeaked, "That's so cool!"
When neither Winter nor Bucky spoke, everyone looked at them.
"I have a cat," Winter volunteered. "Well, I guess Bucky and I share her, but I found her." He quickly stepped to the back of their conciousness to let Bucky out.
Bucky hunched into himself.
"You don't have to tell us anything," Sam spoke for the first time. "You don't even have to stay if you don't want to."
Bucky shook his head. "I have to."
"You really don't have to," Steve said quietly, "we will understand."
"No," Bucky whispered, "you won't. Not until I've...." He reached to the right side of his head with shaking hands and undid the strap of his mask. He slowly took it off, gaze locked with Steve's.
"Bucky?"
Bucky nodded, feeling more and more dread as Steve sat there and stared.
"You're right. I don't understand."
Bucky felt his insides crumple. He stood up, movements clumsy in his upset, buckled his mask back onto his face and left the room.
He was barely half a step away from the table before Winter took control, ferrying them smoothly out of the room.
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Tony came after them almost immediately. He didn't say anything, just curled his arms around Bucky and Winter and guided them into the elevator.
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"Steve, what the fuck?" Clint hissed as soon as Bucky/Winter was gone and Tony had gone after them.
"What?"
"I thought you liked this guy?"
"I- Bucky, yeah. I liked my Bucky, I thought I liked this one, but apparently all he has ever done is lie about who he was."
"He didn't lie, just never told us who he was. Like Iron Man never did. Like how Scott took two months to take his helmet off. Like how you never told us you were from the forties. He's actually been more forthcoming, if you consider Winter."
"I thought he'd have cared! I thought he'd miss me if he was ever here!"
"He did." Bruce murmured. As the others turned to look at him, he shrugged, speaking louder, "Didn't you notice? The guy we always thought was Bucky was Winter. He's the one we talk to and Bucky is the one who makes music at night and seems to have only have emotions of sad and sadder. He does care, but you've all seen the way he acts normally, on the rare occassions he comes out, let alone just now. The guy was obviously terrified and you just confirmed his worst fears about taking his mask off."
"It's true," added Natasha. "The one we thought was Bucky said he had a cat that he shared with Bucky and that he was Winter. Winter took control to get them out of the room too, probably to help Bucky."
"He was crying that night, when I saw him." Scott recalled. "We wondered why."
"And now we know," finished Sam.
Steve looked confused and upset, "I don't understand. I never- what worst fears?"
Bruce leaned forward. "Steve, if he's your Bucky, weren't you guys as close to brothers as two unrelated people can be? Didn't you nearly die for eachother a bunch of times?"
"Yes, but-"
"What Bruce is trying to say," interrupted Sam, "is that you guys were really close. Don't you think that maybe you should've been a little warmer? Maybe listened to his side of the story? 'Cause from what I know, he hasn't had a real peachy time of it since 1945."
Steve looked away. "But I don't understand-"
"Then ask," chorused the whole group.
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"He-" Bucky curled further into Tony's embrace, eyes screwed shut, "He jus- just didn't c-care."
"I know, baby, I know." Tony murmured soothingly.
"I don't- what does-"
Bucky was nearly incoherent as he hiccupped and sobbed but Tony knew what he meant, "I don't know what that asshole statement was supposed to mean, but the way he talks about you? It doesn't add up. You should give it another try."
"I d-dont want to g-g-go out there again."
"Why don't we talk about this later, when you're feeling a little better?"
"No! I don't w-want them to know I'm not the- the one they t-talk to."
"Then don't tell them, it's okay. How about a soak in a hot bath, hmm?"
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"JARVIS, where is Bucky?"
"Due to privacy protocols, I am unable to inform you of Bucky and Winter's location."
"I need to tell him I'm sorry and explain what I meant."
"Then may I suggest you leave him a voicemail message?"
"I'll do that, thanks, JARVIS."
"Captain?"
"Yes?"
"One message."
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As the movie finished, Winter turned to Tony, who was half asleep. "I am worried about Bucky."
"Me too."
"I might not like... certain kinds of intimacy, but I love both of you."
"I know," Tony yawned, "and you know we both love you, right?"
Winter smiled softly, "But sometimes I wish I could hold him in my arms and comfort him like I can do for you and like you can do for him."
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"Um, hey Bucky. Or, uh, Winter, if you get this, please let Bucky hear it. It's me, Steve, but uh, I guess your phone told you that before you opened the message. I hope you opened it. I couldn't- never mind.
I don't want to say I didn't mean what I said, because I think I did, but I didn't mean for you to... I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I....
Buck, I missed you so much. I carry that picture of us taken on the morning of that first mission in Brussels everywhere. The one where you're looking straight at the camera and smiling but you've still got your arm hooked around my shoulders like you're going to bring me along everywhere you go.
I just... you were there. You must have known how much I missed you. Except that's the problem... you weren't. I don't know why you and Winter secretly switched and hid, but I wish I'd known. I wish I'd seen.
I don't understand why you didn't tell us who you are earlier, or... I guess it's me. I don't understand why you didn't tell me. Bucky, please believe me when I say that I want to know. I'd like to talk to you and hear what you've got to say... and I understand if you don't want to. I'll stand by that.
Please consider it, though. I don't know what its like for you and Winter or where you are or whether you'll listen to this, but I miss you and I... well we thought you were him and vice versa, so I like him, too. I want to try, to see if we can be friends again.
I just want you back. If there's one thing to come out of all this, it's that I can see you're a very different man to who you used to be. That's okay - I'm not the same guy I used to be, either. But I guess you knew that.
I miss you Bucky, and I don't want this to be the end of our friendship."
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"Bucky, you shouldn't stay stuck up here all the time."
"I don't want to talk to them."
"You don't have to."
"They'll find me somehow."
Tony sighed, "Yeah. They will. It's a wonder they haven't clocked that you're still in the Tower yet, but have you considered that maybe it's not so bad if they can talk to you?"
"I don't want to tell them."
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Sam walked into the communal kitchen at 2 am after a nightmare woke him up to find Bucky there. It was the same terrible dream as usual - Riley falling while he couldn't catch him - but made all the worse by the fact that he hadn't had a nightmare in a while.
The other man startled badly as he entered, nearly dropping whatever was in his hands. From the unsteadiness of the assassin's hands, Sam figured it must be Bucky and not Winter.
"Sorry Bucky, I didn't mean to surprise you."
Bucky froze, "What?"
"Surprise you. It was an accident. I had no idea you were in here."
"Not that.... How did you know it was me? Only-" He paused, seemingly to backpedal on whatever he'd be about to say, "No one can tell."
"Bruce and Natasha figured it out, but only because Winter told us which one he was by accident."
"It wasn't an accident," Bucky muttered, "We were going to explain that at the same time as explaining who I was."
"Oh."
"So everyone knows, then?"
Sam nodded, "The team does. They won't have told anyone else about your identity or you and Winter's situation."
Bucky swallowed, the movement only just visible in the dim light. "I wish I could trust that, but Natalia...."
"I don't think you have anything to worry about from Natasha."
"Maybe not." Bucky set down whatever he'd been holding and opened the fridge.
"So, uh, what are you doing here?"
"I needed sugar and eggs."
"Why not go shopping then?"
"This was closer."
"Where have you been staying that this place is closer than a supermarket?"
"With a... friend. Doesn't matter."
"What friend?"
"What's with all the questions? Am I...." Bucky sighed and shook his head as if deciding not to continue.
"If that was going to be a question about how trustworthy you are, the answer is that I trust you. I think everyone does, but even if they don't, I trust you."
Bucky finally found the carton of eggs and pulled it free, turning to face Sam. His face was lit from the side by the fridge light. "I guess you're new to the scene, so maybe you don't know everything about me, but I suggest you look it up. My record is bad enough as it is. Me lying on top of it? It ain't good." He picked up the sugar and made to carry his stuff away.
Sam held out a hand to stop him, "Hey, Bucky, Natasha told us about some of the stuff you've done, but Steve has also told us about you, too. We haven't been able to talk to you much, but we also got to know Winter. You guys are reliable on the field and have never given us any reason to not trust you."
"But-"
"Never."
Bucky stepped past him, "Maybe. Maybe not."
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"Bucky," Tony wrapped his arms around the other man, "why didn't you ask JARVIS to get you more stuff?"
Bucky didn’t pause mixing the batter. "He told me Sam was heading to the kitchen and I figured he'd be most likely to be cool with all this."
"You talked to him?"
Bucky nodded.
"Bucky I'm-"
"If you say proud-"
"Well I am!"
Bucky huffed.
"What did he say?"
"They know about Winter and I. Did you know that?"
"I had no idea." Tony leaned closer to Bucky, tightening his arms and savouring the warmth.
"You should go back to bed."
"Only if you do, too."
"I'm not going to sleep."
"You can still come to bed. If you can't sleep, then think about your next move. Just don't- I mean, I'd prefer you to stay because I had a nightmare and then woke up and you were gone and I thought for a moment maybe it was real."
"Of course I'll come in. The muffins finish in eight minutes."
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Breakfast was quiet. Steve was quiet. Nobody really knew what to say to get him to cheer up.
"Steve," a soft voice said from the doorway.
Steve looked up. "Bucky?"
When the assassin had turned up, no one was sure. "Got your message."
Steve looked up, breath caught in his throat, "Yeah?"
"I'd like to try, too."
"Can I," Steve gestured between them, "Hug?"
Bucky smiled faintly, "Get over here."