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The Onyx Cinder, the legendary pirate ship itself, flew through hyperspace on a course for its old captain’s hideaway. In stark contrast to the great and fearsome pirate, her current occupants were much less impressive. The four kids sat around the table playing cards, drinking milk and munching on biscuits. Jod had found the dehydrated milk and ration biscuits stashed away in the galley and reasoned that it was the sort of food that could keep for decades. No one was vomiting yet, at least.
Wim was kicking his legs and humming. He was a resilient lad, and games and food had cheered him up better than words could. He perked up as Jod approached "hey Jod, Thirty-Three is teaching us sabbac!"
"Is he now? You sure it's a good idea to be playing with him? He might just rip your arms off if he loses."
Neel gasped, eyes wide with fear.
The droid turned his head to Jod. "Come off it, tis just a friendy bit o' cards," he grumbled. Then in a low growl added, "dismemberment is strictly a last resort."
"We're just betting with food, and Thirty-Three doesn't need to eat!" Wim explained. "Do you know sabbac, Jod? You can play too."
Sure enough, the kids all had biscuit packets piled up in front of them. Though most were in front of SM-33. Fern scowled at her hand. She drew a card and scowled harder.
"Another time maybe." Jod leaned over Thirty-Three's shoulder, pocketing a biscuit as he did. "I'm afraid I need to borrow Thirty-Three for some… 'maintenance.'"
"Oh, aye, 'maintainance,'" the droid chuckled.
"Awww," Wim whined, " again? "
Jod smiled and shrugged.
Fern looked expectantly at SM-33. "You have to discard," Neel reminded her. Fern wrinkled her nose at her cards again and placed one face-down on the discard pile.
SM-33 spread his cards on the table. "Sabbac."
The kids groaned in unison.
Jod grinned "well done!" He leaned in close to Thirty-Three like he was about to whisper something in his ear and made a tittering noise. The bilge rat that lived in the droid's empty socket poked her head out curiously. Quick as can be Jod reached out and grabbed the squirming rodent by the scruff of her neck.
"Jedi reflexes," Wim whispered to Neel.
"Here," Jod dropped the rat on the table, "take care of your pet. I don't need it getting in my way while I'm working."
"Her name is Snowball." Neel took the rat protectively in his hands. She scampered away and started sniffing around the table for crumbs.
"'Course it is," Jod muttered, unimpressed. "Come on then Thirty-Three, let's get to it. And you lot don't bother me for at least an hour."
SM-33 stood up with a heavy metallic clatter. "Aye, at least. Keep practicing kids, I expect a challenge next time. I'll be back afore we reach Demon's Rest. "
"Why does Jod care so much about fixing up Thirty-Three all of a sudden?" Wim pouted, bemoaning the loss of their fifth player.
"Thirty-Three did just try to kill us," Neel pointed out. "I don’t want to see him malfunctioning again."
Fern watched the two leave. "He'd better not be messing with my first mate."
KB whispered something to Fern, who exclaimed "ew!"
Wim perked up, "what?"
"Nothing," Fern shot back. "Old tech needs a lot of maintenance is all. Anyway, stop stacking the cards and shuffle them."
Credits could buy just about anything and just about every major spaceport had it all for sale. Including companionship. So Jod had, at one time, purchased the company of a pleasure droid, for the novelty of it more than anything. The droid had been built to be soft and smooth, with no pinch points where organics could hurt themselves. A chest plate of carved abs, round metal ass… about as attractive as you could make a droid. It did everything right, moaned when it was supposed to, did anything he asked it to. But the experience left Jod empty. He may as well have stayed on the ship and stuck his dick in a stroker. Thirty-Three… he was nothing like that.
Jod wasn't as needy for physical gratification as many of the beings he'd known, nonetheless it had been far too long. Surrounded by younglings on this ship, alone in the stinking brig before that and trying to wrangle a crew bent on mutiny before that… Jod had developed an itch that needed scratching. So discovering the droid was able and willing to scratch that itch, he jumped at the opportunity.
Thirty-Three had proven itself as more than just a droid, but a pirate worth his salt. The last remaining member of Tak Rennod's crew. Rightly, were it not a droid, Thirty-Three would be captain. Surely he was the most capable on the ship, able to fly, to fight and fiercely loyal to the pirate's code and its captain. Which, by some fool technicality, was a belligerent child. Other than that irksome little detail Thirty-Three was a most valuable asset, and Jod was prepared to treat him as such.
Jod had claimed the captain’s cabin for himself. Mostly because it had a door with a lock. And now he knew that it was Tak Rennod himself who had slept in the bed where Thirty-Three was now sitting.
Jod kneeled down between Thirty-Three's legs with a toolkit beside him and ran his rag over the droid's knee joint. "Tell me of your time on Rennod's crew. Did you do this often?"
"You mean fuckin'? Aye. Rennod had me made with the pleasures of a life in space in mind. Singin', dancin', drinkin', carousing…"
Jod's eyes twinkled in amusement. "You can dance? Really?"
"Aye, a might bit better once me old joints be good and oiled up. Some day I might just show you."
"I look forward to it. And, hang on, did you say drink? Don't know many droids that drink."
"You don't know many droids well I reckon." He tapped his mouth. "Can even give it a taste."
"Really…" Jod looked at Thirty-Three's mouthpiece. He ran his finger over the metal then pulled the droid's head close. He pressed his lips to it. "Can you taste that?"
"Aye," Thirty-Three purred and Jod could feel the vibrations of the vocal synthesizers tingle in his lips. "You could use a min-in-mint."
Jod laughed. "Aye, you're right I'm sure." He turned his oil can to the droid's pelvis joint. The droid spread his legs to allow him better access.
Thirty-Three stretched out his arms and legs to their full length. Jod set to work on them, the memory of how the droid could tower over him as he ran his hands over its metal limbs was getting him more than a little aroused. Thirty-Three was starting to get handsy in return, caressing Jod's thighs and back. Jod bit his lip to hold back a noise as the droid squeezed his ass. The oil can sloshed in his hand, spilling onto the floor. His breathing quickened and his hand went to his belt. A firm metal hand grabbed his arm before he could let himself loose.
"You aren't done yet. Keep going." It was an order. Thirty-Three tossed another rag at Jod. It landed on his shoulder.
Jod shot a fierce look up into the droid's one good eye. Was this revenge for bossing him around earlier or did the droid get off on giving orders? Ha, the old bastard was starting to get under his skin… He steadied his breathing. "Yes Sir ."
Thirty-Three patted Jod's cheek, "good lad."
Jod mopped up the oil spill and finished his work. Thirty-Three flexed his fingers and rotated his wrists. "Oh, that feels better." He reached down and ran his palm over the bulge in Jod's pants through the fabric. Jod tilted his hips to give the droid better access.
"This is nice right?" Jod muttered. "I help you out, you help me out." The rough hand job wasn't enough to get him off, but it did calm the raging desire. After letting Thirty-Three touch and stroke him however he pleased for a bit, Jod pulled himself off the floor. The droid's hard metal leg wasn't the most comfortable perch, but it was worth it to have thorough access to his patient. He grabbed a screwdriver and a shaving brush.
"All right, your face plate is coming off."
"What do you have to do that for?" Thirty-Three protested, jerking his head away.
"Because if your circuits up there are anywhere near as bad as what I found in your chest last time we did this, it's a wonder you're functioning at all."
Thirty-Three grumbled, but leaned his head back in close. Jod fiddled around with the screwdriver under the edge of the head covering, undoing the connections.
"Now don't get any funny ideas about messing around in there…"
"Yeah. Thought about it," Jod admitted. "Then thought better. Barely know how to clean you, never mind reprogramming. You're going to lose visual for a second." With some effort and much grumbling from Thirty-Three, Jod prised off the droid's one good eye. "Dunno what this one's connected to but it's coming out."
"Wait, wha-" the droid's protestations were cut short as Jod yanked the bundle of cords at the back of its head. His head fell limp to his chest, but his body remained upright. He felt around for his limp head, then batted Jod in the gut with the back of his hand.
"Oof, easy big guy… I don't know if you can hear me, but I'll have you back together in two shakes of a nerf's tail." Jod nearly fell from his perch on Thirty-Three's leg as the droid batted at him again. "Ow, all right! All right!" He raised the face plate off to a shower of dust and quickly re-attached the plug and visual sensor. Without the face plate to keep it in place it hung loosely from its wires.
The men glared at each other for a moment, Thirty-Three holding his eye up in one hand to do so. Jod coughed at the dust and bilge rat fur that had been dislodged. He took the eye from Thirty-Three and turned it to the mess of congealed filth that covered the interior of his head.
"See! Kriffing filthy you are!"
"Aye, got a dirty mind I guess," the droid chuckled. "All right, go ahead."
"Thank you for your permission."
Jod's clear sarcasm was not lost on the droid, who gave him another shove. "Get to it."
There was a little nest of sticks and fur and scraps of cloth in the cavity where Thirty-Three's missing eye would have been. Jod brushed it into a bin, along with as much dirt as he could get loose with the brush. Thirty-Three chuckled.
"What's so funny?"
"It tickles."
Jod laughed, truly this droid was unlike any he had known. He ran the brush lightly over the circuit boards and was delighted to watch Thirty-Three giggle and squirm in response. After the brush came a rag soaked in cleaning fluid and a good bit of scrubbing. Jod gave all the components a little push to make sure nothing had come loose and closed Thirty-Three back up.
"And what of me rat's little home?"
"I was going to recommend you keep its grubby little paws out of there, but since you insist…" Jod rifled through the pockets of his coat and produced an age-tattered but once fine silk handkerchief. "Only the best for the little princess." Jod poked the fabric into place in the droid's eye.
Thirty-Three cocked his head thoughtfully. With his memory returned and his circuits cleaned he was finally feeling like he wasn’t about to overheat at a moment’s notice. His mind was the clearest it had been in a long time. His processes were running faster. He felt energetic, he felt great!
"I feel good. You did a fine job, lad. A fine job indeed. And I thank you."
"Right, good." Jod turned away to wipe the oil and dirt from his hands but Thirty-Three caught the hint of a genuine smile.
Smooth steel dragged across rough stubble as Thirty-Three traced his finger down the side of Jod's face, coming to rest at his chin. He tilted Jod's head up gently to face him and pressed his vocal processor to Jod's lips. Jod wrapped his hands around Thirty-Three's head, threading his fingers through the wires at the back, pressing his lips to the cool metal.
Thirty-Three let out a sigh that was just as much a low purr that sent tingles up Jod's spine. "Hmmmm, enough foreplay my little flower." The droid reached down and undid Jod's belt buckle. Jod undressed and before he could sit back on the droid's lap he was picked up and laid on the bed. Thirty-Three positioned himself between the man's legs.
A panel on Thirty-Three's pelvis slid back and a metal tube extended. The head and first quarter of the shaft was covered in small pressure sensitive plates. After that was the telescoping section, protected by a covering similar to the one around his neck. At the base a joint allowed adjustments to angle. The many wires carrying sensory information spilled out at the base in bundles that looked too much like testicles to have not been intentional. The whole thing was covered in a soft plastic sheath to protect all the moving parts and make it more comfortable for organic partners.
Thirty-Three poured a generous amount of lube onto the shaft and stroked himself. He grabbed Jod by the hips and ran the shaft between his partner’s ass cheeks.
"Fuck me…" Jod breathed.
Thirty-Three leaned forward, his elbows on either side of Jod's head. "As you wish, my lovely."
The droid was teasing him with all these little nicknames, but Jod didn't even care. All he cared about was being exactly where he was, underneath this metal body, feeling it inside of him. He let all the worries that weighed on him pass, cleared his mind and focused on the now. A jedi trick, but damned if he wasn't going to make use of it. He felt the metal of Thirty-Three's thighs against his own. He ran his fingers through the wires around the droid's waist, feeling their smooth plastic casing. Heat from the core processors spilled from within the droid's chest and warmed his fingers. Thirty-Three's eye was trained on him, and Jod looked up into the soft light, taking in every detail of his face. Every scratch and dent. A project for next time, perhaps… Every motion was accompanied by the clatter of metal against metal. If he listened closely Jod could hear the whirring of internal machinery. After the oiling the mechanical joints ran smoothly but still made a soft noise as the hip joints rotated in rhythmic motion.
Thirty-Three was not what one would call gentle, but he was experienced. The penetration was a bit rough but he set his pace to his partner’s comfort, with occasional reminders from Jod when he got ahead of himself.
As the pace quickened Jod wrapped his legs around Thirty-Three's hips. He grabbed wires in tight fists. Gasps and grunts escaped his throat.
"Good b-boy…" Thirty-Three cooed. "You like that do-don't you?"
"Hmnnghh… Yes. Yes Daddy!"
With deep, deliberate motions Thirty-Three thrust into Jod until the wires at the base of his cock pressed against the man's skin. Pleasure rocked through Jod's body and erupted. He panted, slumping to the bed but Thirty-Three wasn't done with him yet. He pistoned his cock inside of Jod until he was satisfied.
At length the droid peeled himself away from the trembling mess of a man. He slid off his protective sheath and retracted his dick. Grabbing a rag draped over the oil can, he patted his chest clean where Jod had splashed on him. He looked down at his partner, chest heaving, eyes unfocused. He ran the rag over Jod's belly and touched it to the drool at the corner of his mouth. Like a baby, Thirty-Three chuckled to himself.
"You're getting oil on me." Jod took the rag and tried to do a better job of cleaning himself up with the least oil-covered corner.
"Guess you're better suited for cleaning than I." Thirty-Three laid back in the bed next to Jod with his foot up on the footboard.
"Hmph," Jod sat up. He winced.
"Tender?"
"A bit, yeah."
"Anything damaged?"
"No, just - ow - tender." Jod fished the biscuit out of his coat pocket and sat back in bed to eat it. It was a bit stale but not bad considering. He cast his gaze around the room, surely the captain had some of the good stuff stashed away for himself. "Just need something to wash this down…"
Thirty-Three gestured without looking up, "try the drawer beside the bed."
Jod rummaged around. "Oh, this is a find!" He took an experimental sniff at a crystal bottle of deep purple liquid. He recoiled at the acrid stench, coughing.
"Oy, that's mine!" Thirty-Three grabbed the bottle. He flipped open a compartment in his chest and poured some of the liquid in. It steamed a little. "Whooo, that's the stuff!" The droid laughed heartily.
Jod found a more promising bottle and paused. "Rennod wouldn't have poisoned any of these would he?"
"Nah," Thirty-Three assured him "he come back to his room for some drinkin' he don't want to get the bottles messed up. Poison stays…" Thirty-Three waved a hand vaguely. "Don't rightly remember but it's labelled 'poison' in big hard-to-miss letters."
The bottle didn't say poison, and it looked to be sealed. Jod opened his bottle carefully, it smelled all right, then touched just a drop to his tongue. Warm, rich flavours spread through his mouth along with the tingle of a strong liquor. Oh, this was a good find indeed. At the back of the drawer there was even half a box of death sticks.
Jod lit up a stick and sat back with his bottle, smiling contently. When was the last time he had been able to relax and have a drink with a friend? No, not a friend, a droid. That was the great sex talking. Still, as far as droids went this one… was special. He liked this one. Sure they butted heads, the rust bucket was too clever for his own good. And Jod couldn't help but respect him for it.
Jod pulled the sheet up over his legs and watched the coils of smoke float to the ceiling. He glanced over at the droid next to him and realized he was watching him. Thirty-Three put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him in close. Jod leaned his head on Thirty-Three's shoulder. This could hardly be more perfect , Jod realized, he had someone to let off some steam with who he didn’t have any fear of getting attached to. Surely he wasn’t going to fall for a droid.
He stubbed out the last of his death stick and snuggled under the covers. Jod drifted to sleep with the soft whirring of machinery next to him, a heavy metal arm draped across his chest.
"Wakey w-wakey, precious." Jod had hardly closed his eyes when a hand on his shoulder shook him awake. Thirty-Three loomed over him. "Dress yourself and summon the crew, we’re almost home!"