Work Text:
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"———♪"
Modulate your voice– and as you go up, switch to your high register–
"——~~♪!!"
Nene's voice cracks.
Damnit.
Frustrated with the same outcome on her fifth attempt of the night, she begrudgingly pauses the instrumental, and takes a minute to glare a hole in the wall.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in...
...
...
Yeah, this isn't working.
Grounding her thoughts is doing little to soothe her frustration - which is telling of the intensity of her emotions, considering the fact that this usually works.
It's late into the night, with the moon hung high in the sky; neighbouring stars at their brightest. When Nene started practicing this song, it was early evening - and she still hasn’t been able to sing it in full. It’s like… trying to defeat a boss battle, but everytime you die, they transport you back to the start - and you have to replay the same cutscene over and over.
Luckily for her, her parents were both currently out of the house - and the Kamishiros have never minded the noise. Or, so she hopes - part of her wouldn't be surprised to get a call from Rui asking her to keep it down. But no such text has come so far; her childhood best friend is likely engrossed in something, too focused to be bothered.
Which is for the best, really; that he (supposedly) can't hear Nene.
What happens in this bedroom will stay in this bedroom, with God as her only witness.
Lately, practice hasn't felt productive. It's only small things, mistakes that the other three barely pick up on; however, the occurrences are increasing in size, and it's becoming harder to ignore, harder to pick herself up from. Of course, it goes without saying that these mistakes will happen - but it's all things she's already learned not to do. Mistakes that maybe the Nene of 2 years ago would make, maybe; not the Nene now , that's trying harder than ever to reach her dreams.
‘Learning curve’ my ass. If I did this infront of an audience…
So, yeah. Nene’s frustrated.
She exhales forcefully, tossing her phone on the bed. Just pick a new song, her rationality tells her. This one isn't even for a show. It was just for fun. Pick a new song, one that you're good at.
…
No, I can’t.
That would be running away. And if Nene has learned anything in these past few years, it's that realism isn't a reason to give up; and running away is never, ever going to help you. She can rationalize it all she wants - but at the end of the day, she can’t give up just because it’s hard.
I can reach the note, Nene thinks to herself, flicking off the overhead light and turning her lamp on.
She looks at it; it’s a butterfly lamp, one with blank cartoon eyes that seem to stare back at her.
"I can do it,” Nene says to it. “It's in my vocal range. I've done it before."
No reply comes. (Well, duh. It’s a lamp.)
…I've done it before. Why can't I do it again?
As she lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling, Nene lets out a long, forlorn sigh.
Her mind drifts to a similar time.
Once, there was a scenario just like this one; but rather involving singing, it was dancing that she couldn't quite get.
Around the time she had first joined Wonderlands x Showtime, after years of inactivity - learning a dance for a duet with Tsukasa. After the 4th time she had tripped over her own feet (and about the 7th time they had to restart the song), she had felt tears of frustration welling up; leading her to furiously wipe at her own eyes.
Gently, Tsukasa had taken her hands away from her face.
"Hey, let's take a break."
"A break? A break from what ?" Nene had snapped, wringing her hands out of his grip immediately. "From nothing? That's what we're taking a break from? We haven't even gotten to the chorus yet!"
"I know, I know," Tsukasa had told her; his tone was stern and authoritative, yet without heat. "We've made little progress. But trying over and over again isn't making it any easier to do! So, let's take a break."
"What? So I can fuck it up again, just in 30 minutes rather than now?"
"You're frustrated. I can tell–"
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."
"–Which is exactly the reason I'm proposing a break," Tsukasa had crossed his arms. "Nothing good is going to get done when your mind is hazed with negativity. Especially with something like this dance - it's meant to be a joyful song, yet all you're doing is scowling."
"I–" The tears had come back. Nene couldn’t find it in her to hide it. "–Because I've been practicing for ages and I still can't get it right!"
"Of course! And your efforts aren't wasted– but, here, why don't we get a drink and go check out what Emu and Rui are doing, okay?"
"But-"
"No buts! If this doesn't work, then you can be mad at me all you want."
"...Fine."
(Rui and Emu were delighted to have their company, eager to show their brand new props they had crafted together. Amidst Rui's gentle voice, Emu's infectious smile, and Tsukasa's loud energy - Nene found her shoulders feeling lighter, the air a little easier to breathe.
By the time they got back, Nene had nailed the dance on her second attempt.)
…
Tsukasa...
Tsukasa was probably fast asleep right now. He'd seemed a bit tired at school today (see: taking about five seconds to register a yes or no question) after spending a 'bit too much time practicing some line delivery, haha! Even future stars such as myself often accidentally get wrapped up in their craft!'
It was a corny line – Tsukasa had pathetically fallen asleep on Rui's shoulder after as well, like the lame guy he is…
…But something about his sleepiness irked her. Something about Tsukasa pushing himself like that, even though there was no show to prepare for; it bothered her.
He’s always been passionate and driven, day and night, no matter the circumstances.
Sitting there, feeling rell-wested; Nene had felt a small pang of anxiousness in her gut.
I can't lose.
If Tsukasa was going far, then Nene needed to go far, too. She's already behind as is.
…
It’s 1:06 AM.
Nene sits up, turns her light back on - and opens her music app.
...
Let's do this.
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
Kamiyama High is bustling with activity, as it is most mornings; it's a bright summer's day, with not a cloud to be seen in the sky. But energy aside, there’s something different about today - for some reason, today is louder than usual. Much louder.
Source?
My fucking ears.
Observe, Nene Kusanagi; deprived of adequate sleep, currently trying to cope with the unrelenting noise of her energetic classroom, which seems to host literally the entire soccer club - as well as several others, deciding to be extra social today of all days.
“Good morning! I had to rush to get here – I overslept this morning…”
“Morning, silly. Hey, did you hear about that parfait place on the corner street? It shut down!”
All of which are, as you can see, incapable of talking at a normal volume.
It's been a lot easier to talk with her classmates as of late. There's definitely mutual respect; a good morning here, a borrowed pen there... it makes Nene more than happy to feel included, especially considering her initial anxiousness–
“Really?! I didn’t even know! Oh my god, no way!?”
“I know right! Tanaka said the same thing to me the other day, too–!”
–But god, do mornings like this make her want to take it all back.
If only social anxiety wasn't a thing. No, actually, maybe it’s a good thing - right now, it’s the only thing preventing her from cursing them all out.
Nene glares into her desk, busy destroying them in her mind - when there’s a flash of orange in her peripheral vision, and a familiar face walks by to take a seat in front of her.
"Mornin."
"...Morning, Shinonome."
Most mornings, Shinonome just takes a seat and gets out his phone; sometimes he'll ask Nene if there's a test today, groan if there is, and then he'll take out his phone.
But, today, he turns around in his chair. Awesome!
"Did you uh, read that book for Japanese literature?"
"Y- yeah."
"Right, so what the hell was it about?" Shinonome swivels in his chair, now facing Nene completely. "I got like, half of it, before my mind gave up on me."
"Oh. It was, uh..." Nene thinks. She barely got it either. "...S- sorry, I don't really know either. But, uh– if you have... a specific question, I can- I can try and answer it."
"Right, okay..." Shinonome tilts his head. "...Did you sleep last night, dude?"
"Huh?"
His brows furrow. "Your eye bags are huge. You look like shit."
"Thanks," Nene shoots back sarcastically. She brings up her hands to rub her eyes. "It's... it's fine, I just... didn't get enough sleep."
"Any reason why?"
Why, indeed.
Nene had practiced, nonstop, for hours on end - only to continuously reap the same results, even after the break she took. Not being able to reach the note, not being able to switch registers smoothly or properly - tired, she gave up on the song, moving to another to maybe get a confidence boost...
…But when she tried to sing songs she knew she was good at, she made mistakes that she was sure she grew out of, somehow even worse than the slipups she was making before - shoddy breath control, unable to hold her harmony over the main melody, slipping into falsetto in her mid-range .
All things that a child would know better not to do - and that’s not even an exaggeration, considering she remembers being lectured about these things when she was literally a child.
Those memories were the catalyst of her frustration. That, along with adrenaline, gave her the push to keep going; but in the end, physical exhaustion won out.
It was only when the adrenaline wore off did Nene really realize the state of herself; her throat sung raw, her head light; dizzy from all the breath she was using. Her body felt sore, with a newfound sensation of something heavy and painful settling on her lungs.
Sleep didn't come easy, after that - tossing and turning for what felt like hours, drifting off for about 30 minutes before her alarm rang; Nene could barely get out of bed in order to get ready for school.
She’s here now, though. Can’t feel like a failure and skip school.
"Kusanagi?"
"...Just, uh," Nene breaks the silence, eloquently realizing she had totally zoned out on Shinonome. "Just... practicing."
"Practicing what? Running?"
" Haha . I was practicing singing."
"...Right. Well," Shinonome looks her up and down. "Don't overdo it."
"I'll try not to. Thanks."
"All good."
And with that, he turns back around; just in time as well, as the teacher walks in, ready to start homeroom.
Nene rubs at her face again, only pausing to give Shiraishi a small wave as she takes her seat beside Akito; ignoring the concerned look she briefly had before facing forward. If those two noticed, then there'd be no doubt that Tsukasa and Rui would, too. Emu as well, if she decided to come over here today.
That's the last thing I need, Nene grumbles to herself. Three worrywarts fussing over me like I'm a kid that can't take care of herself.
...
No, that's a little unfair. Especially given the times the other three have been out of commission, she's done just that: fussed over them like they couldn't take care of themselves. (Well. To be fair Rui really can't take care of himself, so is she really at fault for thinking like that with him?)
And besides, it's just to show they care. They care about her, worry for her - they want her to take breaks and get adequate rest.
Not like I deserve that. She could've gone to bed at a normal time, she could've taken a proper break, she could've not pushed herself like she did; Nene feels that it's not worth seeing their sad, worried faces in response to something that's her own fault.
Nene is sure they'd disapprove of what she did last night; but even so, she can’t bring herself to regret it.
It’s a step closer to her dream. A shitty one, sure, but a step closer.
She'll get home, take a nap, eat dinner... that way, there's nothing to worry about.
Get through school, go home, rest.
Get through... school...
...
...
…
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"...ke up..."
"-ing? She's..."
Nene stirs to her body being shaken, back and forth.
"I know! But lu..."
Her eyes open, slowly—
"-eah, she was telling m..."
—and immediately, bright amber eyes wide with alarm stare back at her.
"...Wait, shut up, shut up– Kusanagi! Thank god you're awake!" Shiraishi exclaims, looking relieved.
Nene blinks at her. She tries to respond; "...mh?"
"Mornin," comes a voice from her right. Shinonome moves into view, bent down next to Shiraishi. "Have a nice nap?"
Groggily, Nene lifts her head off the desk - wiping her chin and the desk after realizing she'd drooled in her sleep (whoops). She attempts to blink away the blurriness in her vision; but it lingers a bit too long, accompanied with a strange, unfamiliar dizziness.
"Are you alright? You took a while to wake up," Shiraishi asks, concerned. "Like, a while . I thought you were passed out or something - you slept through the last 20 minutes of English, and then all through lunch, and–"
"I literally told you she didn’t get enough sleep last night."
"Shut up, dude!! Point being, I was worried- and I'm still worried, you look tired– like really tired. Are you okay?"
That's... a very good question, Nene thinks, but no words come out.
It’s hard to speak; the headache still remains, pulsating painfully at a somehow higher intensity... and with the way she was hunched over the desk, her back and neck were voicing their complaints too, throbbing at the same tempo her headache is.
She's too exhausted to feel embarrassed, much less apologetic for worrying the two.
"Kusanagi? Can you hear us?"
"Mm, y- yeah," Nene manages to get out, cringing at the sound of her voice. "I'm... I'm okay, just..."
"Are you gonna make it to the end of the day, dude?" Shinonome asks - his tone makes it sound like the question is rhetorical. "You could go home early. Just ask to go to the nurse, tell 'em you're sick or somethin."
Get through school, go home, take a nap. "It's... not worth it, going home so late in the day. I'll- I'll be fine."
"Still, you might–"
The second bell rings, cutting them off.
“It’s okay,” Nene tries to sound reassuring. “Thank you, but I’ll be okay.”
Although visibly hesitant, Shinonome and Shiraishi return to their seats as the rest of the class floods in, still unnecessarily loud. Following them, the teacher walks in, ready to start the lesson.
Nene gives each of them a small smile of reassurance - it's the most she can do, smile and pretend that the pain in her body hasn't doubled in the time she's been asleep. It's good practice for when she'll have to see her troupe mates; if Shinonome and Shiraishi thought she looked awful, then there's no way she'd be able to hide this from the other three.
But she has to try, at least. (It'd be pretty pitiful for her to be clocked right away.)
And so, amidst the summer sun spilling into the classroom, and the sticky heat it brings with it, Nene begins to listen.
“Welcome back, everyone, take your seats. I wanted to review some things that we covered near the start of the unit…”
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"...Thank you all. I hope you all were paying attention - remember, tomorrow we're going to have a test on all the content we've covered so far. Make sure you all study in preparation, and set a reminder so you're not unpleasantly surprised. I'll see you all tomorrow!"
Oh.
Nene belatedly realizes that she, in fact, was not paying attention.
Not by choice, though. Every time she tried to focus, her eyes would end up elsewhere – from the greenery committee's posters next to the whiteboard, to wondering how the hell does Shiraishi manage to clip those stars in her hair everyday in the exact same places? – or otherwise, the fog in her head would grow so thick, so deafening; she's sure not even Tsukasa would be able to pierce it, much less the teacher.
Nene belatedly realizes something else, too: she is somewhat screwed.
It'll be fine, she rations, pretending like it's not the hundredth time that day she's thought that. Just gotta study when she gets home. Maybe Shiraishi or Shinonome were paying attention this time around; and maybe, if the stars align, they'll end up giving her their notes.
...
Yeah, she’s not counting on it.
Nene waves a goodbye to Shiraishi and Shinonome as they pass by (they look to be in a rush) - and then pulls out her phone from her pocket.
On the homescreen are... several unread messages. Worrying to anyone normal, but not uncommon when you're friends with Emu. And Tsukasa. And Rui, as of recent developments; the guy has discovered a recent love for spamming images of his favorite things.
(Bugs. It's always bugs. Ask Nene how many times she's blocked Rui over this.)
She checks the group chat first.
WONDERTASTIC FUNTASTIC WOOHOO PARTY FUN TIME GROUP CHAT!!!!!
< 12:46 PM >
tsukasq
EVERYONE! I have... UNFORTUNATE NEWS
IT APPEARS THAT MY SISTER IS IN NEED OF SOMEONE TO HELP TRANSPORT BAND EQUIPMENT ON THIS THURSDAY EVENING. SOMEONE BIG AND STRONG LIKE MYSELF.
Their live APPROACHES... and so I must unfortunately, UPSETTINGLY, miss out on today's practice
BUT FEAR NOT!!!
FOR I WILL BE ABLE TO RETURN. TOMORROW!
rui
The timing of this is rather coincidental... /neg 3:
My parents have just notified me that I'm to attend a work party with my mothers company...
Oh dear :( Shall we schedule some time on the weekend to make up for it?
Emu
WAHHHH BOTH OF YOU DDD:
Emu emu SO SO sad!!! SO SO !! SAD!! CRYING!!!!
tsukasq
DONT CRY. I WILL EAT ROCKS ABOUT IT
Emu
MY HEART IS BREAKINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tsukasq
IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
rui
I’m going to pretend I didn’t just watch you type all of those individually
tsukasq
HOW ELSE ARE YOU MEANT TO DO IT?
rui
He doesn’t know how to copy and paste :( Poor thing
Jokes aside, Emu, would you be open to moving todays planned rehearsal to Saturday? Seeing as two out of four of us will be absent
tsukasq
I KNOW HOW TO COPY AND PASTE DUDE
Emu
UMMM..... I THINK IM BUSY SATURDAY :(
Its okay okay tho! :D Nene and i can do some practice by ourselves!!! And then keep saturday Free!!!
Right Nene!!!
Right Nene!!!
Right Nene!!!
Right Nene!!!
NENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rui
Oya... you know its bad when she doesn't reply to Emu immediately...
Are you winning my dear :3
tsukasq
Tch… She's probably locked into a game right now... do not disturb... notifications disabled...
Our Nene likes video games more than us...
rui
I think a more accurate placing would be, Emu > Video games >>> You and I
Emu
YAYYY NENE LIKES ME
tsukasq
LITERALLY WHAT DID I DO?
And that’s where the messages stop.
The fact that nobody replied afterward is a bit out of character - it's usually only Nene that jabs at him. But it's also kind of funny as hell.
Seeing more notifications unchecked, she swipes to her messages with Emu.
Nene > Emu
< 1:01 PM >
Emu
Do you still want to do rehearsals with me :D
We can go to the snack shop!!! Becauuuuse u said u were craving chiiips a bit ago....
I REMEMBER >:)
And and then we caaaan! Talk!!! About stuff!!!!!!
I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!
And before u say "Emuuuu you saw me yesterday"
I KNOW!!!!!!!! AND I DONT CARE!!!!!
Nene sighs fondly, but not without a twinge of guilt - let it be said that the worst feeling in the world (other than Tsukasa existing in public) is letting Emu down.
hi emu
sorry for the late reply, im really sorry but
i reaally have to study for a test tomorrow ;_;
we can go to the convenience store another time?
Emu
AHH you're here!!!!! THATS OKAYYY IT TURNS OUT THE SATURDAY THING GOT CANCELLED :D SO I CAN DO THEN!!
I GOT WORRIEDDDDD WHEN U DIDNT REPLY!! D:
Did you win?!!!??
win what?
Emu
YOUR GAME?!
That u were playing during lunch !!!?
oh i was napping
Emu
>:O
I SEE
Was Rui right tho
huh?
oh
yes i like you more than video games
Emu
HEHE YAY
OKAY IGOTTA RUN!! IM RUNNING TO PHENILANDAS WE SPEAK
??
why are you texting while running???
well. more like. how?
Emu
╱|、
(˚ˎ 。7
|、˜〵
じしˍ,)ノ
Kitty
???????????????????
how did you type that while running
????
Do you have that on copy paste
EMU
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
As Nene readjusts the straps on her backpack that dig relentlessly into her shoulders, dragging her feet on the concrete; a small burst of outrage overcomes her exhaustion, and she curses-
Was the walk home always this fucking long?
Today seems to be 'make Nene's life hell' day.
It was only after she exited campus did she realize that the summer heat was beating down a lot more intensely than it was this morning; and that Rui nor Tsukasa had waited for her to come out. A quick text had confirmed that the two had to quickly run off to their individual plans (which they had apologized at length for, crying kaomojis and all), which meant that she'd have to face this weather by herself.
Which would've been fine, if not for the aforementioned. Well. Everything that has occurred in the past 24 hours.
No Tsukasa to force to carry her bag, and no Rui to splash her with a little cold water playfully (and you know it's bad when Nene would actively prefer that). And she's running on low sleep, too.
Again. Hell.
Nene drags her feet slowly, bangs clinging to her forehead that's slick with sweat; briefly, she considers taking a break - but her house is literally just around the corner. It'd be the lamest thing to take a rest on the walk home of all things. She's gotta have at least some pride.
It's just a 10 minute walk, she thinks to herself, stubborn to the very end. It's just a 10 minute walk.
5 minutes pass...
...and then 10...
20...
...
30 minutes later, and finally, she arrives at her house.
Nene’s hands (that are slightly wobbly) reach up to tug open the door, and she stumbles in, desperate for the quick relief of an air conditioned house and a face full of tap water. Fortunately, she's greeted by a cool breeze as soon as she steps in the door - and even more fortunately, the kitchen is empty.
...Which means there is nobody to witness the usually composed Nene Kusanagi guzzling 3 cups of water, with no shred of dignity left to spare. It's almost comical how little it does to soothe the pain in her head; but she'll take anything at this point.
Her body moves on its own, her mind barely keeping up - placing the cup in the sink, re-tying her hair; grabbing some painkillers and swallowing them down.
One moment, she's in the kitchen–
–The next she's sitting on her bed, the uncomfortable heat still lingering, despite her various efforts to quell it - almost like an unwelcome fever. It feels almost palpable on her skin; like her walk home had left an invisible layer of summer's warmth all over her body.
Nene falls backward, her eyes shut as soon as her head hits the pillow.
Just 30 minutes.
30 minutes to rest...
...
...
...
...
...
"Nene, can you come down here a sec?"
Noooo .
Nene's eyes squint open. She sits up, despite the fact that she feels like she's just closed her eyes– but one look at her clock tells her otherwise.
I've been asleep for 2 hours???
"Nene!"
"Ah– coming!"
She moves out of bed; ignoring the pain that came with yelling that response, ignoring the fact that the painkiller was just as useless as the water, ignoring her whole body practically screaming at her to lie back down.
Nene stands, and her vision darkens, and the ground feels wobbly beneath her- and her head is spinning —
—but a few seconds pass, and it clears. Most of it. I'm fine.
Nene meets her mother at the bottom of the staircase.
"Hi. How was school?" She asks, placing various things into her handbag.
"G- Good. Are you going somewhere?"
"I am– didn't I tell you this at dinner last night? I'm meeting up with a friend - and then I have to go straight to your grandma's house."
Right . "Ah, it must've slipped my mind... dads not home either, is he..."
"No, he's off on a business trip - will you be okay by yourself? I'll be home on Saturday evening."
"Of course," Nene shrugs. "If I'm not, the Kamishiros are right next door, so..."
"That's true. I just worry," Her mother presses a kiss to her forehead. "Dinners in the microwave, it's just leftovers from last night - and there's some microwavable meals in the freezer for you. Call me if anything happens, alright? And take a bath. You stink."
"Thank you, mother dearest," Nene remarks sarcastically. "I will. Have a nice time. If you need an excuse to bail out, just call me and I'll pretend to be dying."
"What would I do without you?"
"Be a shut-in, probably."
"Haha," Her mother smiles. "Bye bye now. Be safe."
"Bye."
She gives a wave, and then disappears. The silence that follows draws out for a little while, before a small 'ping' is heard.
Nene takes out her phone. It's the group chat.
WONDERTASTIC FUNTASTIC WOOHOO PARTY FUN TIME GROUP CHAT!!!!!
< 6:13 PM >
tsukasq
[3 Images Attached]
Here's Ichika being smothered by Shibao :)
[1 Image Attached]
And me!
cute
the dog i mean
you're just okay
tsukasq
I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me...!
i hope shibao eats you
tsukasq
D:
is their live like… this evening?
tsukasq
OH it's on the weekend!
They just needed transport sooner rather than later.
And you know how MUSCULAR a star like myself is
(Pretend I sent a sunglasses emoji!)
...uhuh
so you're done for today?
tsukasq
Mhm! Heading home now
How about you! Did you survive the walk home?
yes
it was bad though
so fucking hot
tsukasq
It was, wasn't it? I showered before, but I think I'll have to again when I get home
It's cooled down a lot though!!!
Isn't that SUPERB! Makes me ENERGIZED!
Makes me feel a little like going out for a run!
?
bold words for someone dozing off on ruis shoulder yesterday
tsukasq
HEY
He's comfortable to sleep on!!!! You do it all the time
AND BESIDES a little tiredness would never throw someone like ME off!
are you sure?
i mean. do what you want but like. dont push it
tsukasq
Oh
Ohoho
You care ? :)
no
tsukasq
You care about meeee HAHAHA
No worries Nene I know my limits!
Thank you for worrying though :)
i wasnt worried you dweeb
walk into a lamppost
tsukasq
I WOULD N
Um
What just happened is between me and God
LMAO
rui
Do I sense blackmail material~?
tsukasq
GO BACK TO YOUR FANCY DINNER
rui
Wow :(
I just wanted to say hi...
I see how it is...
Emu
YOU KNOW THE RULES AGAINST BULLYING TSUKASAAAAAA :D
GET IN THE BLENDER!!!!!!!!
tsukasq
SO RUI CAN LITERALLY FLING ME INTO THE SUN BUT YOU ALL DRAW THE LINE AT AGGRESSIVE TEXT DISMISSAL????
rui
It's because I'm cute :3
try again
rui
It's because I'm well versed in the art of psychological manipulation :3
?
ok man
tsukasq
AND IM NOT CUTE?
Emu
Hmmmmmm
tsukasq
EMU????????????????????????????????????????
It's small and fleeting; but for a moment, Nene's heart is light.
She texts them with a smile on her face, words flowing out easily and playfully. Laughter bubbles out of her - and before she knows it, she's sat down on the bottom step of her staircase, staring down at her phone without a care in the world.
It's easy. That's all there is to it.
It's easy to get lost in conversation with Tsukasa, Emu, and Rui.
But then—
tsukasq
OKAY
It was lovely (NOT) (It was actually) chatting with you all, but I must depart to go on that run I mentioned!
I will see you all later <3
—things get difficult.
The lightness begins to dissipate; Nene feels her heart being weighed down by something . Guilt, maybe. It's indiscernible.
Should she get some more rest? (Her entire body still screams at her to do so. Throat, head, gut; echoes of the pain that has yet to disappear, yet to be subdued.)
Or should she take the other option, and push even further? (The right option. The only way forward. The only way she can catch up.)
Breaks are important. After all, Rui had told her once before that 'breaks count just as much toward progress than practice does. It's not only healthy to relax your mind and body, but it's also beneficial in the long run.' He’s not wrong, either - the one time when Emu had asked her about how she started acting and her journey thus far… it was all just simple chatter, but it was a release from the frustrations that were growing as a result of the Christmas show.
...And then, Tsukasa. The star himself.
Most of all, he’s the one that encourages her the most to take breaks. From the get go, once their bond began to develop, he was prepared to catch her when she fell - and without complaint, he'd take her hand so they could soar the skies together. Even when he was tired himself, even when it felt like he was faltering; it was like second nature to lift her up.
The pegasus is always able to fly.
Nene feels that familiar sensation again; she feels it dropping all the way down to her gut.
And just like that, it has a name:
Inferiority.
Mixed with undeniable guilt; palpable and tight.
Never again.
When the pegasus flies, the canary must sing.
The canary will sing.
...
She takes a breath, and opens her phone once again.
tsukasa
can i join you
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
This was a bad idea.
This was a bad idea.
Distantly, Nene feels herself stumble, feels something rising in her throat - which can't be true, since she's just realized she didn't eat dinner. Or lunch, for that matter.
This was a horrible idea.
"Nene! There you are!"
The summer heat has thankfully dissipated, no longer as intense as it was prior. Sunset colors paint the nearly empty park a vivid gradient of orange and yellow; similarly, the person currently sprinting to where Nene stands is doused in a warm glow, the blue of his shirt serving as a stark contrast against the scenery around them.
Bright amber eyes lock onto lilac. Nene swallows hard.
"It's not often we exercise with just the two of us present!" Tsukasa says, cheerful. "Such a rare occasion should be well spent!"
It takes a while for Nene to process what he says; when she does, she rolls her eyes.
"You're such a sap... it's not that big a deal."
"Well, agree to disagree!" Shrugging off his bag, he takes out a bottle of water. "This will be a very fruitful impromptu run!"
"Y- Yeah." Nene will do her best. (She has to.)
Tsukasa must notice her inner monologue, because he casts her a glance mid stretch: "Did you run to get here or something? You look pretty puffed out already."
"...Something like that."
It's not quite a lie; Nene did sort of half jog, half walk to the park where her troupe always exercises at. The idea of wasting time had gotten louder with each passing moment - and thus, her pace got faster, despite her chest aching with the exertion.
Not a very good idea, in foresight, but she's here now. That's what matters.
"You must've been in a hurry, seeing as you forgot your water bottle too," Tsukasa comments - laughing quietly as Nene's eyes widen with realization. He pulls a spare one out of his bag, handing it over to her: "You needn't rush, dear Nene. Although the evening approaches, we have plenty of time to run!"
Plenty of time.
The words echo in Nene's mind; and not in a pleasant way.
"...Can we just get on with it already?" She asks, attempting to hide her anxiousness with their usual banter. The water bottle is placed on the ground. "If we don't hurry up, we really will run out of time."
Tsukasa grins. "That is true, that is true! Well then... Race you around the park?"
Nene nods.
There's a short-lived moment of silence in Nene's mind as Tsukasa counts down from 3.
A race it is.
He reaches zero–
"Go!"
–and the two take off.
Most times, running exercise has Tsukasa and Emu rocketing ahead like exercise is 'fun' and 'just a game' (the words make Nene gag), whilst Nene lags behind with Rui, who's kind enough to run alongside her. It's never in her best interest to try and beat Tsukasa in a footrace - the guy is not only fast, but he's got the stamina to match, and it would inevitably end with Nene falling behind, literally eating his dust.
It's a fight she can never win.
She runs, her shoes pounding against the pavement underneath her, relishing in the adrenaline that seems to dull the pain in her body. There's no need to dwell on the headache, the tiredness; she just needs to run .
And things are better - until gold flashes in her peripheral.
Tsukasa's running beside her.
Is he matching my pace?
A quick look up at his face confirms it: Tsukasa doesn't look like he's exerting himself at all, and when he catches her gaze, he offers a smile and a quick thumbs up.
What a kind smile, given to a Nene who's undoubtedly red in the face, sweaty with labored breath; aching and tired and slow .
A kind, easy smile.
She doesn't need it.
Frustration begins to build; such a burning, intense feeling. A fire in her heart, angry and red - stronger than the ache, stronger than the adrenaline.
It pushes her forward, further, and further, faster , like a bird taking flight.
The canary flaps its wings, alight with newfound vigor.
It's worth everything to see the shocked expression on Tsukasa’s face when she ends up passing him. His shock is short-lived - it quickly morphs into determination, and he begins to speed up again.
Like a real race, they're fighting for the finish line. (Nene has a chance.)
Adrenaline runs its course throughout her body, her breath harsh as it leaves her mouth, leaving a metallic aftertaste; she thinks Tsukasa's said something, but with the way her heart is pounding, with the blood rushing in her ears, Nene can't hear a word.
He feels far away - which must be good. She's creating distance.
The sun glares ahead of her, like a sign of oncoming victory.
And for a moment, everything feels lighter.
...
The next, Nene zones back in only to realize a turn is coming up extremely soon, and she needs to turn now , or else she'll–
"Nene? Nene!?"
–slip.
Her legs give way.
Skin skids against concrete.
Suddenly, the ground is a lot closer than it used to be, and there's a distant sting on the palms of her hands, on her legs and on her shoulder.
The sun dips below the horizon; and the breeze stills, the park an eerie quiet.
The fire in her heart extinguished.
Through hazed vision, Nene sees Tsukasa running over to her; panicked shouts from above fall on muffled ears.
It's too bright.
So her eyes shut.
(It was hopeless.)
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"Tsukasa!"
"Ah– Rui, thank god!"
First aid kit clutched tightly in one hand, his phone in the other; Rui speed-walks to where Tsukasa is standing.
"Where is she?"
"Just there, under the tree - I moved her there so she was more in the shade, and– and I've cleaned off most of the blood, but I neglected to bring bandages, thank the stars you were home!"
Rui gives him a quick pat on the back, a lousy offer of reassurance - it's the most he can do, when the worry in his body feels like it’s consuming him.
He moves past Tsukasa, and over to where Nene sits, slumped against a tree, head hung low. As he moves closer, he can hear her breathing; heavy, shaky. A sliver of her face is visible, amidst the hair that covers her face - Rui can see a distinct red hue on her cheek.
Tears were to be expected (after all, she's never really had the best pain tolerance) - but something seems... off.
"Nene?"
No response.
"Neneee," Rui pokes at her arm. "You don't have to hide your face, dear. Can I bandage your hands for you?"
...
Still no response. No indication that she's heard him.
Dread settling in his gut, he tries one more time, his hand moving to brush her hair aside: "Nene?"
As he does, Nene's whole face comes into view; her whole face is bright red, sweat clinging to her skin. She doesn't meet his eyes, either - her eyes look straight ahead, droopy, blinking slowly. It's a look Rui rarely sees on her.
"...How much did you two run?" Rui asks quietly, tilting his head toward Tsukasa, who had knelt down beside him. "She's rather out of it."
"Huh? Well, not much. We didn't even make it around the park," Tsukasa replies, uncharacteristically quiet. "I mean, she was a little puffed out when she got here, but she didn't mention anything about exercising before– I just thought it was due to the heat?"
"I doubt it," Rui places his hand against her cheek; blessedly, Nene leans into it, confirming that she's at least a little conscious. "The temperatures cooled down quite a bit. If it was earlier, then maybe, but–"
Oh?
Nene's cheek, in his palm - it's rather warm. A little too warm.
She only feels this hot when she's–
Oh.
Just like that, everything clicks into place.
The disoriented, dazed expression; the redness, the labored breath despite being sat down...
"Rui, did you hear me? What if she's just dehydrated–"
"She's got a fever."
"–or someth- wait, what?"
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
Fog.
There's not a thought, nor a feeling, that can pierce through it. Not a thing to clear it away.
It's everywhere.
It remains thick, even when something cool brushes against her cheek; even when her wrists are lifted up and wrapped tightly with something that feels like cloth. Her vision is clouded, blurred oranges and blues and reds... even her legs in front of her seem distant.
Some voices fade in and out - whispers of concern, voices calling her name.
Nene has long since given up on processing anything.
There's no hope for that.
She feels impossibly light, like she's floating; and yet, also incredibly heavy , like her shoulders and her head are being weighed down by something hot and uncomfortable. Her muscles feel like lead, heartbeat pounding in her ears like a never-ending metronome.
So, Nene thinks, squeezing her eyes shut as the world, for some reason, starts spinning again. This is what death feels like.
Something warm touches her face. It’s persistent, with the way it pokes and prods at her cheek. Slowly, squinting open her eyes, the world unblurs slightly; and she sees Tsukasa's face, looking down at her with an indiscernible expression.
"–ke you home, okay?"
Home?
Nene nods. Yes, home. Home good.
Someone hoists her up - hands guide her to Tsukasa's back, and she clambers on, with a gentle instruction from behind her to hold on tight.
The voice sounds familiar; it reminds her a bit of Rui. But that doesn't make sense, because this run was just her and Tsukasa - why would he be here? And why is she being carried, anyway? Why is there something tight on both her arms?
Since when did the sun set?
Time has passed – but where was she?
Nene can't ask anything.
The canary no longer has a voice.
There’s movement; up, down, up, down.
A soft breeze against her face.
A hand on her back; a whisper - hey, try to stay awake, okay? - colors melded together, dull, amidst a cloudless, blurred night sky.
A swingset. It's a rustic brown; charming, yet alone.
Two people walking their dog. Cute. It's small and white.
A small glance of purple, beside her. He's still rubbing her back.
Flowers that have endured the summer heat.
A familiar front yard.
Home.
...
...
...
She's in bed.
Something wet is on her forehead. Luckily, the light is off, and the lamp is dimmed.
Finally, Nene feels like she can see.
"There we are... Tsukasa, could you fetch a glass of water as well?"
"Y- Yes! On it!"
Oh, she can hear them properly now, too.
Rui must notice as well, given the way she looks at her, smiling: "Hello there. Welcome back to Earth."
Nene stares at him.
"...Can't talk, hm? Alright... Blink once for yes, twice for no. Got it?"
She blinks once.
"Good," He shuffles his chair a bit closer. "Are you in any pain right now?"
Blink.
"Where abouts? Your head?"
Blink.
"Body?"
Blink.
"Throat?"
Blink. (A little annoyed this time.)
"...Everywhere then, I take it," Rui leans back, running a hand through his hair. "You have quite the fever. I've got some medicine here that you can take. We'll just have to wait until Tsukasa–"
"I've got the water!"
The door swings open - Tsukasa comes into view, looking a little flustered, holding a glass of water.
"Thank you, Tsukasa," Rui takes the glass off him, placing it on Nene's beside table. "Try to lower your voice a little, though."
"Ah– right, sorry.”
Tsukasa’s… uncharacteristically meek. Nene, although a little curious, doesn’t bother asking why - she stares at the painkillers in Rui’s grasp.
Thankfully, Rui notices; and he gets to work, tipping out about 4 tablets from 3 separate pill bottles, placing each one next to the glass of water. He tightens the lid of the last bottle, places it down beside him, and dusts his hands off.
"There. Tsukasa, could you help her sit up?"
"Will do!"
...
It's uncomfortable. Nauseating. but after a combined group effort of Tsukasa propping her up, Rui holding the glass to her lips, and a brief coughing fit - Nene's able to successfully take all of the tablets.
"Well done," Rui says, watching as Tsukasa guides her back to a lying down position. "You're all good to go - is there anything else you'd like, Nene?"
Weakly, she brings her hands up to her chest, and pushes them outward. Tired .
"Are you sleepy?"
Blink.
"Alright. If you don't need anything else, then rest well. Goodnight, Nene."
Goodnight...
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"...mmm."
Nene opens her eyes, largely against her will.
The sun is here, blaring through the small gap in between the curtains without mercy; it's annoyingly bright, even with just the little sliver. She's sure it's hot outside - thankfully, someone’s turned on the air conditioning in her room, so she doesn't have to worry about the heat...
...That's right, Rui was here last night. Tsukasa as well - she joined him for a run, then slipped in the park whilst running, and couldn't walk, so they carried her home... then she got into bed, and took medicine for—
"— ack! "
A cough explodes out of her. And then another. Some more - Nene can't stop.
Hurriedly, she sits up, one hand gripping the blanket and the other reaching for the glass of water by her bedside. As she drinks it, gasping between sips because she can't breathe out of her nose, the reality hits:
I'm sick.
...
Well, it's not a shocking revelation.
Albeit a bit frustrating; Nene's never been good at telling the difference between exhaustion and sickness when it comes to herself - especially if it's just body soreness. She gets that all the time.
Turns out feeling feverish means you probably have a fever. Who knew.
Nene can start to feel her nose running, and so she tries to sniff it back - but her nose is blocked, so she places the glass down and reaches for a tissue. On her bedside table, she finds not only a tissue box; but also some toast, a couple of tablets, and a piece of paper. Her phone is also conveniently on charge, and there's a sort of remote next to it.
After blowing her nose, she unfolds the paper.
Good morning, Nene. Your fever has gone down throughout the night, thankfully.
Here's some breakfast for you, some painkillers, and some tissues. Tsukasa left you some lozenges too. As much as I'd like to take the day off to stay with you, unfortunately we (Tsukasa and I) have a mandatory test for math today - I also have a greenery committee meeting in the afternoon... worry not, Emu has a half day today, she'll come greet you.
Take a bath, if you're able - you were too tired to change out of your exercise clothes. There's a button by your bedside that can turn Robonene on remotely, she'll help you to the bathroom. I've also left some things in there for a detox bath :3
Don't push yourself, alright? Text/call me if you need anything.
Love,
Rui.
Nene blinks down at the letter.
Her first thought: This guy could really stand to get better handwriting. It’s almost comical how barely legible it is.
But… It's sweet. Breakfast, a nicely written letter; he’s always been considerate. All of it is very in character for Rui, especially with the way he's signed his name off with a dramatic flourish (which makes Nene giggle.)
She sits up. It’s a bit of a struggle, but Nene gets there - and she reaches for the pill bottle.
The medicine goes down; Nene definitely doesn't feel as out of it anymore (see: she’s able to sit up by herself), so it's not that difficult a task. It just hurts to swallow - which brings her to her next obstacle.
The plate of toast.
…
It's just plain toast, she tells herself, wiping her nose with her sleeve. I should eat at least a little bit…
But the longer she stares, the more averse she becomes.
...
I really should...
...
Yeah no not happening.
Nene flops back into bed. Rui will disapprove, but he's done way worse before, so he's got no leg to stand on. She'll deal with it when he visits later.
…Speaking of later–
‘Emu has a half day today, she'll come greet you.’
–It's likely that Emu won't be happy, either. And she's got those puppy dog eyes, the lethal weapons - so maybe Nene’s a little screwed.
Part of her wants to message the girl, tell her that she'll be fine by herself... but that wouldn't be true. Nene's never been good with dealing with illness on her own, let alone tolerating the pain itself; ever since she was young, there'd always be tears involved, one way or another. A part of her could really use the company.
Emu, though...
The idea of Emu seeing her like this - of anyone seeing her like this, really - it repulses Nene. She's definitely a horrible sight to see right now, snotty and congested and red-faced; it probably wouldn't deter any of them, but she has to at least hold on to some pride.
The pride I have left, at least , Nene thinks, eyes falling down to her bandaged hands. After that whole fiasco, there wasn't much dignity left to salvage; she doesn't want to see Tsukasa for the next 10 years, let alone talk about it for the next 20.
She sighs.
Can't eat, can't run, can't move.
Can’t sing – it's difficult to even think of a melody, let alone hum it.
It hurts; Nene has to stop, lest she starts coughing again.
A canary without a song.
It's true; Nene can't expect to be able to move forward like this. Slow down, take a break - don't force it, or you'll make yourself worse. Rest like this contributes to progress just as much as practice does…
…But no matter how hard she tries to believe it, it's useless.
As Nene lies here, she's being left behind.
There’s nothing to be done about it. She lies still, glaring a hole in the ceiling; clothes stuck to her body, legs vaguely sore, nose blocked entirely.
Her headache has yet to leave, too.
There’s her stomach, too; it groans from hunger, or maybe nausea, who knows. Probably both.
...
Okay, now I'm just moping.
She grabs the remote.
"Nenerobo..."
< Initiating Protocol: Songstress Sick Day. Nene, do you require assistance? >
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
One gruelling hour later, she's all freshened up.
Nene's grateful for how thoughtful Rui is; along with the ingredients for her bath, there was also a set of her pyjamas neatly set out to change into. A chair was placed in the bathroom too, so she can sit whilst she brushes her teeth - how Rui can think of all these things, she'll never know. (Especially considering he'd never extend himself this same courtesy.)
The bath was good, for the most part. The hot water made her injuries sting; but it’s a small, insignificant price to pay in order to get rid of the sweat that's clung to her since yesterday.
It's hard enough to walk, feeling this nauseous and feverish - accompanied with the pain in her legs, the journey from the bathroom to her bedroom was the most annoying part of it all. Thank god Robonene can carry people, otherwise she'd probably have to crawl.
"N- Nenerobo," Nene mumbles, slipping off the robot's back and stumbling into bed. "Disengage."
< Disengaging Songstress Sick Day Protocol - Initiating Sleep mode. Nene, rest well. >
"Thanks..."
After blowing her nose again, Nene reaches for her phone. There's a lot of unread messages, from Rui, Tsukasa, Emu - and, for some reason, Shinonome and Shiraishi too?
Let's go through them...
Nene > Shiraishi
< Yesterday, 7:36PM >
Shiraishi
Hey kusanagi ! I just wanted to check in and see if you were okay?!!?
I had to go quick to rehearsal afterschool but you looked really out of it D:
U dont have to reply if you're resting!
Hope u feel better soon <3
Nene smiles. It's midday; so Shiraishi's probably in class right about now, but it wouldn't hurt to reply.
thank you shiraishi :)
i'm doing okay! i caught something lol
i appreciate the worry, sorry for scaring you ;_;
Next ... Oh, this guy - why'd he message at 6 in the morning????
Nene > tsukasq
< 6:49 AM >
tsukasq
NENE I HOPE YOU ARE SLEEPING WELL I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY. I DESPERATELY NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IN PERSON. SO I WILL BE COMING TO SEE YOU WITH RUI! AWAIT MY ARRIVAL. LIKE HOW ROMEO AWAITS JULIET. OR SOMETHING. I DONT KNOW
ok weirdo
Nene taps onto the next contact.
Nene > Shinonome
< 9:06 AM >
Shinonome
yo heard from kamishiro that ur not here 2day. said you exploded???
i know hes bullshitting and ur probably just sick, teacher says you can take the test next week
ill give u the answers if u want too
rest well
thank you
trust rui will be dealt with
Speaking of which:
Nene > rui
< 10:36 AM >
rui
[1 Image Attached]
Professor Million Legs wishes you a speedy recovery
[1 Image Attached]
[1 Image Attached]
Isn't it fascinating how humane their eyes look?
Full of care
i hope you walk into oncoming traffic
im sick and you spam me with pictures of bugs
rui
[1 Image Attached]
why'd you send a picture of yourself
pay attention to class
rui
I'm bug
squishes you
rui
Nooo
Nene's rolls her eyes, deciding to thank him for the help while he's here - but a sudden influx of pings stops her in her tracks.
It's Emu.
Nene > Emu
< 8:43 AM >
Emu
GOOD MORNING NENE!!! I THINK YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING!!!
Rui n Tsukasa told me EVERYYYTHING!! So Dont u worry ur little head
Doctor Emu will come fix u RIGHT UP! :D
I'll come around 1 ok!!! with my cool doctor supplies!
< 1:01 PM >
Emu
I HOPE YOU'RE AWAKE I AM VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HOUSE!!!!
Nene blinks.
wait you're here now??
i just got out th
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
EMU I CANT OPEN THE DOOR
Emu
HUH
WHY?!?!!/
i
i guess i can just like . give me 10 minutes to get down the stairs
Emu
WAIT NOOOO
YOU NEED TO REST
YOUR WINDOW IS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE HOUSE RIGHT :D
do not. climb my wall.
there's a spare key underneath the flowerpot
as in it's stuck to the bottom of the pot
Emu
Aww ok
I got it!! Coming in NOW!!!
...
Moments later, there comes a knock.
"Come in, Emu."
The door swivels open; and there she is, still in uniform - with a dark blue tote bag in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Upon making eye contact, Emu grins and waves, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.
"Hi hi! I'm here! How are you, Nene?"
"I'm... I'm f- fine." Nene replies, trying her best to ignore how dead her voice is, and how messy she must look, and the state of her room, and - just about everything about her right now.
Emu squints a little too long. "Mmm~ You don't look fine."
So much for ignoring. Nene groans, and buries her face under her blanket.
"But– but that's okay! That's what I'm here for, silly - hey, get out of there!"
Feeling the tug on her cover, she tries to put up a fight... but it's no use. One small moment later, she's got intense pink staring down at her; determination aflame in her eyes.
Sniffling, Nene mumbles: "You didn't have to come, you know... I already took the painkillers."
"Good! Buuuut," Emu shakes her head. "I'm not here just for that, you know? I'm here, most importantly, to bring back your smile!"
...Huh?
"...Th- that's really sweet, Emu, b–"
A painful wheeze, and then another burst of coughs; violent, merciless.
Now routine, Nene sits herself up, reaching a trembling hand for the glass and grabbing it tight, ignoring the twinge of pain it brings her palm. She gulps down the water, hoping it'll stop the coughs - and thankfully it does, after an excruciating few seconds; but then Nene feels a sneeze coming on, so she brings her arm up, and—
"— achoo !"
—snot explodes out of her, all over her arm, on the top of her lip. The cup jostles from the sudden movement, spilling stray droplets onto her pyjamas, and onto the bed - the apology she wants to give won't even leave her throat.
What a mess she's made.
Nene's not sure if the tears are from the coughs or from embarrassment.
"Here."
Emu's looking at her, a tissue in hand. Offering it with a smile.
Nene wastes no time wiping the mucus off her arm, off her face - another tissue is handed to her, which she uses to wipe her shirt. Another tissue dries off the bed, but it's not Nene who's doing it.
Even after all of that – sniffling, coughing, sneezing... Emu's undeterred.
"You okay?" The girl asks, worried. "If it hurts to talk, then—"
"N- No, it's okay, just..."
Panting, out of breath; congested, sweaty... to say Nene's mortified is an understatement. If she were any more conscious, she'd be too horrified to even speak - even now, she has half the mind to crawl to the bathroom and lock herself in there.
"...I- I'm sorry," She mutters, urging her voice to be audible. "I must seem p- pretty gross right now, s- so if you want to leave, then—"
"Shhh."
Emu grabs another tissue from the box. Instead of handing it over, she sits on the bed and shuffles close, placing a hand on Nene's face, holding it steady.
"Stay still."
The other hand works to gently wipe underneath her eyes, clearing the tears away carefully. Once she's done, she takes the glass from Nene's grasp, places it on the bedside table - and then takes Nene's hands in hers.
Protests sweep through her mind, all ready to leave her mouth; but they die on her tongue the moment Emu looks up at her.
"...If you really do want me to go, then I will," She says, grazing her thumb over the bandages on Nene's palm. "But, you know, I don't mind how you look. You're sick, Nene - nobody looks pretty when they're sick!"
Emu smiles. "So, if you don't mind, I want to stay here. I want to take care of you. You’d do the same for me."
Nene blinks.
Perhaps the burn on her cheeks is just a fever. Otherwise, it's because of the kindness the girl in front of her right now is showing her, with an even prettier smile.
It's not worth it, keeping up appearances with Emu. Especially if she wants there to be no hidden feelings between them; if Nene wishes for Emu to be vulnerable in front of her, that means she'll have to be vulnerable, too.
It’s true as well – in another timeline, Emu's the one sick, and Nene's the one telling her she's going to stay by her side, no matter what. That's how it works, with them; care from both sides, a mutual wish to help, to just… be there.
Relationships are a two-way street, after all.
So, Nene pushes down her shame, and smiles back.
"Thank you, Emu," She whispers, squeezing the others hands gently. "I... would like that. If- If you don't mind, uh, all of... this."
"Hehe, of course I don't!" Emu giggles. "Trust me!"
"Okay... I- I trust you."
"Good, good! That makes me happy."
Nene nods. "Then I'm happy too."
Giving her hands one last (gentle) squeeze, Emu swivels around, reaching into the bag she brought: "You don't have to if you're not up for it, buuuut I bought something we could do to make you feel better!"
"Hm?"
She takes out a case: A Journey Through the Cosmos 3.
"You like this one, right?" The girl asks, handing the case to Nene. "I saw that it was two player, and it looks super super cute, so I thought we could play together! I know I always like to distract myself when I'm sick, soooo..."
"I- I do like it, yeah," Nene replies, feeling a little giddy as she reads the back of the case. "I played the other two games with Rui, wh- when we were younger..."
It's a little nostalgic, gazing at the two main characters on the front. A pair of aliens, making their way through different planets, all to uncover the secret of where they came from... Nene remembers Rui taking notes while they played about each planet, taking the lead on figuring out the puzzles; whilst she made up her own words to the OST that played in each new area, voice acting the characters to practice reading.
Zoning back in, she nods: "It's open world e- exploration, pretty straightforward... y- you'd like it."
"Great! Wanna play then?" Emu grins. "If you're feeling okay, that is! Don't wanna push yourself."
While still a bit woozy, luckily, it seems like the medicine is kicking in - Nene doesn't feel as heavy as before, which should be enough to at least play the game for a little bit.
But.
Part of her still aches with guilt.
Biting her lip, she glares into the case; if she's got energy, then she should at least do something productive with it. Singings out of the question, obviously - but there's still texts to read, research to do, acting to study. There's so much she can do. Maybe Emu can grab some books for her, the ones that she borrowed last week from the school library...
"Nene?" Emu tilts her head. "Are you feeling tired? We can play another time!"
...but when she looks up at her, the request falls apart in her mind.
There's no way she'd agree to doing anything related to acting right now. Right now, Nene should be resting - even if she tried to study whilst pretending she wasn't, Emu isn't stupid; she'd see right through her excuses.
One of very few downfalls of having someone so close to your heart; they see right through you. Especially Emu. She's got superhuman empathy.
It won't help the guilt... but Nene can't see herself getting out of this either way.
So, she shakes her head: "It's okay. I- I'll play a little."
It's worth it, getting to see the way Emu lights up. Nene can tell she's trying very hard to be quiet (which she always appreciates) - but even Emu can't hold back the tiny squeal that escapes her lips. She beams: "Yaaay! Okay okay, I'll load it in and get the controllers- this is gonna be so much fuuun!"
Emu clambers out the bed, taking the game off of Nene, opening it up whilst she searches for the correct controllers. Nene follows suit, albeit a lot slower; she grabs her blanket, wraps it around her, and moves to one of her beanbags.
Along the way, she grabs the tissues, the glass, and... tentatively, the plate of toast. (May as well try and eat.)
Nene gets comfortable, settling in her beanbag; taking the controller that Emu gives her.
I may as well enjoy the break… just for today.
Only for today.
"Okay, are you ready!? I'm so gonna beat you!"
"Emu, we're a team in this game, you know..."
"Oh!"
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
"Take that! And that!! AND THAT!!!"
"E- Emu– pfft – those are our healing items, you're just healing the enemy–"
"I know! I think this way we can become friends– AHHH!! WHY IS HE STILL KILLING ME!?"
"...Green, pink, red, blue, yellow. You got that?"
"Green, pink— heyyy wait! They put our colors together, Nene!"
"Huh. I– I guess they did... wait, now I lost it. Hold on."
"Whoops~ I lost it too...!"
"Hey, this one kinda looks like Tsukasa!"
"Hm? Oh, sorta, yeah... there's an option to steal its money."
"There is? We have enough money, th– Nene?!"
"Sorry. Instincts took over."
"What's this room- Oh! So there IS pvp! Nene, come, come!"
"It's- it's a practice room, we can fight each other or spawn ene– dude, why are you going STRAIGHT for me?"
"Hahaha!! Get over here fiend!"
"I- I'm sick, go easy on m–"
"THERE'S NO KINDNESS IN WAR!"
"Wait, g- go left, there's– Oh shit."
"AHHH A SECRET BOSS?!"
“It’s okay, Emu, I got this–”
"Well, you two look to be having fun."
Both girls scream at the new voice.
"Oho, didn't hear me come in?" Rui chuckles, moving into the room. "Too locked in, it seems."
Emu quickly recovers from the shock, gasping in delight before pausing the game and grinning. "Rui, you're here!"
"Don't forget about me!"
"Woah, Tsukasa too!"
Tsukasa moves in behind Rui, face half covered by a mask - carrying a plastic bag that seems to be bursting with items. From where she sits, Nene can spot some medicine, noodle soup; and something that looks a little like grapefruit jelly.
Nene tries to ask about it–
"Nene? A- Are you okay?"
– But Rui’s sudden appearance scared her into yet another coughing fit. I'm out of water, too. Why not?
"Ahh– here, here, take this!"
Her eyes sting with tears, blurring more and more with each cough - but Nene manages to squint them open, only to see a blue water bottle being shoved in her direction; Tsukasa's looking at her with a panicked look, visible even with a mask on.
He pushes it closer, insistent.
There's a small twinge of guilt - after all, this is Tsukasa's water bottle - but she takes it, unable to think of anything else to do.
Down it goes.
But even after the water, which usually helped a little before - it's not doing much this time. Nene's head is beginning to throb from the exertion, too; it's like as soon as she's looked away from the screen, all her symptoms have returned full force. Every single debuff.
"Here."
Tsukasa grabs some tissues from the box beside him, placing it in her empty hand. "Water won’t help - you need to cough up the phlegm, not swallow it back down, okay? Try spitting it up in this tissue."
With shaking hands, she places the tissue over her mouth, coughs hard - and spits into the tissue, revealing something thick and mucus-y. Phlegm. The irritating feeling in her throat feels a little less intense; and after repeating it a few more times, Nene can finally catch her breath.
"There, does that feel better? Here, I'll throw the tissue away for you."
And she almost hands it off to him, too dazed... but then quickly comes to her senses.
"I- I can throw it away my– cough – myself."
"Oh! Right, right. Sorry," Tsukasa moves back a bit, sheepish. "I'm used to taking care of Saki."
Nene tosses the tissue in the small bin to her left (that's almost overflowing, she realizes). "'s fine."
Rui, amidst the chaos, must’ve moved from his spot - he stands behind her, picking up the thermometer: "Now, I hate to interrupt your fun, but I must ask... when was the last time you checked your temperature?"
Now it's Emu and Nene's turn to look sheepish. "Um."
"Did you take another dose of the medicine?"
"...Uhh..."
"Change the bandages?"
"..."
"Did you... rest? At all?"
"I took a bath," Nene speaks up, determined to not look like a complete dunce. She points at the plate beside her: " And I ate something whilst I was playing with Emu. So, ha. Take that."
Rui raises an eyebrow. "Half a slice of toast? Over the whole course of the day?"
"You– ugh..."
There's a comeback ready on her tongue; but then the room starts feeling a little hazy, black dots start to invade her vision, and every thought seems to leave her mind at once. Nene glances at the clock – they’ve been playing for hours, way past the promised amount of time the painkillers are supposed to last.
Likely sensing her tiredness returning, the boy to her side places his hand on her head with a sigh. "Tsukasa, can you help her back into bed? I'll get the medicine and some food ready - Emu, could you go and get some more water? Maybe refill the bucket as well, for the cold compress."
"Aye aye, captain!"
Her friends' voices float above her. Gradually, Nene tunes them out, using all of her focus to keep her eyes open. Although their conversation is incomprehensible, she knows they're likely talking about how to take care of her; which would be endearing, if it wasn't so embarrassing.
Nene would probably feel that embarrassment too, if not for the exhaustion.
It's frustrating, this fog; the way her limbs tingle uncomfortably, the way her heartbeat is the only thing clear in her ears - she can feel the burn fever has left on her cheeks, but it feels distant, despite it being her face.
Nene's sure she would've crashed sooner or later - but this sucks .
Everything about this sucks.
After a brief discussion, the other three rise to their feet - with Emu and Rui leaving the room, and Tsukasa moving behind her. Distantly, she feels someone scoop her up; golden blonde hair dances in her vision, the familiar texture of a school cardigan pressed against her face.
Looking up, she sees Tsukasa with a smile on his face, placing Nene on the bed gently before pulling the blanket over her.
"There we go. All comfortable?"
As he's standing up straight, his features begin to blend into the room's wallpaper - voice growing muffled as he rambles about the importance of rest during sick days.
Soon enough, he's just a splotch of color, too muddled to discern from anything else.
Too far away.
Nene tries to call out for him, tries to ask him to come closer so she can properly see him, hear him, but—
"...So you really have to make sure that you're on top of your fluids, and– Hm?"
—all the words she wants to say; they won't come out.
"Nene? What's wrong?"
Everything.
Nene doesn't want to lie down. She doesn't want to rest; she wants to go back to playing with Emu, having fun without a care in the world - she wants to go out running with Tsukasa, talk with Rui, laugh, smile. Clean hair, washed face. Normal and everyday.
She wants to breathe through her nose, get rid of this headache, this fever, this pain in her body that's from injury and nausea and hunger; all at once, all at the same time.
Everything. It’s relentless - the pain, the fog, her thoughts.
She wants this sickness to go away.
Please. Take it away.
"...Nene..."
Tsukasa leans down, whispering sweet nothings - it's okay, it's okay, you'll be okay - running one hand through the sick girl's hair with sincere, gentle kindness; the other making its way to interlock fingers with Nene's trembling hand.
Belatedly, Nene realizes she's started crying – not a gentle, quiet cry, but an exhausted, ugly sob; a cry from someone who’s too tired to care about appearances.
Shaking, hiccuping… a miserable, miserable thing. Her eyes lock on to the ceiling, trying desperately to zone in on the sensation of Tsukasa's hand in her hair; trying to muster up the strength to squeeze his hand.
Nene blubbers, like a kid: "I- I'm sorry, I—"
"Hey, hey. You have nothing to apologize for. It's okay."
"But– cough — But I—"
"Nene, listen," Tsukasa cuts her off; soft, yet firm. "Whatever your thoughts are telling you right now, don't listen to them. Just listen to me, okay? Can you do that?"
It's hard. But Nene tries, looking up at Tsukasa; tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Rui's getting you some medicine, some food - and Emu's going to get a cold cloth for you, so you don't feel as hot. It'll make you feel all better. I promise," His thumb rubs up and down her hand; a soothing motion. "You just have to wait a little bit longer. Do you think you can handle that?"
Nene nods, sniffling.
Tsukasa’s gaze softens. "You're strong, Nene. You'll get through this. Breathe."
"...S– Sorry." Breathe in, breathe out. "I pr- probably look like shit."
"Nonsense. Is that what you're worried about? You look fine."
"D- Don't lie..." She looks away. "I feel gross, s- so– cough – I must l- look it, too..."
"...Hm. Give me a second."
The hand that was running through her hair lifts up; Tsukasa reaches behind him, seemingly trying to grab something–
–and then he moves back, seemingly having found what he's looking for. He holds it up to Nene with a grin.
"Will this help?"
It's her hairbrush.
Nene blinks. "Huh?"
"I figure if you're worried about how you look, the least I can do is help you feel better about it," Tsukasa places the hairbrush down on the bedside table. "That way, you're stressed about one less thing. Here, I’ll help you up."
"O- okay..."
Moments later, Nene's sat in Tsukasa's lap, leaning back against his chest. She can feel her hair being parted, each section being brushed through from the bottom up carefully; methodically, kindly. All the while, he hums a warm melody - uncharacteristically somber, for such a loud person, but warm nonetheless.
It's gentle. Quiet. Maybe she's just really far gone, but she barely feels the tug when he encounters a knot; the only indicator is when Tsukasa quietly gasps, mumbles a soft apology, and works through it even slower, humming all the while.
Nene barely notices her eyes closing, much less Emu and Rui's return, medicine and food in hand.
All she can feel is the brush gliding through her hair; all she can hear is his song.
Soothing; reassuring.
...
...
...
(It takes a bit, but with their combined efforts, her friends not only get her to take the medicine - Nene also manages to swallow down a few spoonfuls of soup. They try to keep her awake with conversation, busy hands re-bandaging her injuries, taking her temperature... but it only takes a few minutes for her head to lull to the side, eyes refusing to stay open any longer.
Together, they lie her back down, pinning her hair back and placing a cold towel on her head.
Distantly, two voices join the song, and the warmth grows tenfold. A beautiful sound.
The melody embraces her fully, wholly; and follows her into sleep.)
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
Nene wakes up.
Or rather, her body does; her mind buffers, still catching up.
That's strange. I don't remember falling asleep.
There's a blanket over her, and her teddy is tucked in her arm - which means she definitely didn't pass out, at least. Struggling to blink away the fog in her vision, Nene lifts herself up–
"...mm?"
–and realizes there's not one, not two, but three pairs of eyes on her.
Right, they're here…
Emu and Tsukasa are reclined on bean bags; though they've perked up, probably because Nene's just woken up. Rui sits at the foot of her bed, also looking attentive to her state - all three are doused in her lamps crimson light, eyes wide with surprise.
Rui's the first to break the silence: "Good morning, Nene. How are you feeling?"
"Um..."
Nene stills; takes a second to think about it. She's unable to recall the exact details of what happened earlier; there was video games with Emu, and then Rui and Tsukasa came, and then... a lot of pain. A lot of brain fog, too.
She looks at the fresh bandages on her hands. Her mind feels clearer, and she's sitting up on her own... it doesn't hurt as much.
"...B- Better than b- before, I think."
Emu breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness! I was really worried when Tsukasa said you started crying..."
I was crying?
"Well! That's not relevant now," Tsukasa cuts her off before she can ask, abruptly standing up. "What's important is your current state! Do you need anything, Nene? Water? Food? I'd give you more medicine, but it's only been about 2 hours since your last dose, so–"
"Slow down, Tsukasa," Rui interrupts him. He moves his hand forward, seemingly out of nowhere - but then the cloth on Nene's forehead peels off, falling perfectly into his hand. "Let's just start with this, hm? Seems it needs freshening up."
"Ah! Right, right..."
Tsukasa takes the cloth off his hands, moving to the bucket that sits on the table in the middle of her room. The mask is still on, so Nene can't quite tell from his expression; but there's a sort of stiffness to his movement, a sort of hesitance to his words...
"You know, I've been thinking this since you two got here," Emu says, watching Tsukasa rinse the cloth. "But did you two have a fight or something? Tsukasa looks reaaally nervous sometimes - and Rui, you keep looking at him funny."
Nene nods. Took the words right out my mouth. "I- I noticed too."
The two in question look a little caught off guard. Ah. So something did happen.
Rui opens his mouth: "Well, you see–"
"Rui, no."
Three pairs of eyes look toward Tsukasa. He looks to be bearing guilt; his shoulders sag, eyes downcast. Shaking his head, he dumps the towel in the water, and looks up to Rui: "I'll admit to it. This is my regret to face, after all."
"...Very well. The floor is yours."
Thinking that they're going to have some sort of cheesy heart to heart, Nene starts to tune it out–
"Nene. Hear my words."
–wait, huh? Me?
Tsukasa kneels down in front of her, extending his palm out.
"Please, allow me to begin my four part apology with acknowledging that you, are in fact, one of the best people I have ever come to know - in recent years, you have aided me in my journey to stardom, no matter how strenuous it was on you, and I am so, so very appreciative–"
"Woahwoahwoah, stop, please," Nene can't handle these theatrics. That's a Ruikasa thing, not a Nenekasa thing. Never a Nenekasa thing. "Wh- what are you apologizing for?"
"I'm getting to that! That's part two!"
"Summarize, dude. I'm not gonna listen to you yap for 10 minutes straight."
"Actually, I timed it, it only goes for about 8 minutes and 24 seconds–"
"You've got about 30. And- and be normal about it."
"Fine, fine. Okay."
Tsukasa takes a deep breath, shuffling about so he's now kneeling down with both his knees on the floor. He locks eyes with her, apologetic.
"Nene. I'm very, very sorry for what happened yesterday. I should've noticed you weren't yourself right away - I blame myself entirely for being oblivious to your fever. If I had noticed sooner, perhaps I could have prevented the fall... not only did I let it happen, I even tried to race you, and that's how you ended up with scrapes all over."
He bows his head. "I know I cannot ask for forgiveness so soon. So, I'll do everything in my power to help you heal in the meantime. Again, I sincerely apologize–"
"Pfft."
"–for my... actions... A- Are you laughing at me?!"
Ah, it's no use holding back. It's painful, but she can't help it - Nene puts a hand to her mouth, giggling profusely.
"Hey! What's so funny about this?!"
Pre-empting the coughing, she reaches out; thankfully, there's a fresh glass of water beside her to drink. She drinks it, laughter still bubbling out of her - which in turn causes Rui and Emu to start laughing, too.
Tsukasa's face goes red. "Oi, seriously! Why are you all laughing?!"
"I don't even know!!" Emu cheers, laughing. "I'm just laughing because Nene is!"
"She has a rather contagious laugh." Rui adds, giggling behind his hand.
"Sorry, sorry–" Nene wipes her mouth with her sleeve. "It's... it's such a silly thing to apologize for, T- Tsukasa."
"Silly!?"
She shakes her head, continuing. "I'm the one that fucked up. I went out running, even though I wasn't feeling well - if anything, I should be saying sorry f– cough – for worrying you. It's not your fault."
"I– you– Okay, tell that to Rui!"
“Rui?”
At the mention of his name, the boy in question starts laughing. "Lil 'ol me?"
"Is that why you've been giving Tsukasa looks all day!?" Emu asks, moving to the beanbag closest to Rui. "Because you're maaad at him?"
"Mad is a bit of an exaggeration..."
"Like hell it's an exaggeration!" Indignant, Tsukasa jabs a finger at him. "You've been cryptically answering my 'are you upset with me' questions all frickin' day! AND you put a drawing in my locker of me getting eaten by a massive bug!! Explain that, huh?!"
"A massive bug? " Nene questions. "Rui, your hatemail game sucks."
"You have no proof that was me," Rui shrugs. "Besides, you don’t know if that’s hatemail. It could also be a premonition."
"Rui, I swear to everything that is holy, if I see a mechanical insect in my vicinity, ever, I won't hesitate to destroy it. Hear me?"
"Perhaps it is an invincible mechanical insect. Perhaps one has access to tungsten! The strongest metal known to man."
"I will hand your ass over to law enforcement, there's no way you got that legally–"
"Okay, okay, shut up," If she laughs any harder, Nene will definitely start coughing again. "You two need to chill out. Rui, y- you're not really mad at him, are you?"
"Hm? Oh, no, of course not. 'Twas all a bit."
"A BIT???"
"The 'funny looks' Emu spoke of was likely just misguided worry. I figured I’d play with him a little," Rui shrugs, blissfully ignoring the face Tsukasa is giving him. "Either way, I did feel a little bit unnerved at the time - I thought he knew you were feverish, but let you run anyway. But then I remembered Tsukasa is oblivious, so it didn't take me long to figure out it was all just an honest mistake."
Tsukasa blinks. "Oh, thank you, it was an honest— hey! I'm not oblivious!"
Emu hums. "Are you suuure?"
"...Okay, maybe a little. But it's endearing. Right?"
"Mhm! Tsukasa is our super duper endearing leader!
"Thank you!"
Nene lets out a sigh, finally being able to stop her laughing.
God, I needed that. They say laughter is the best medicine - it's a bit lame, but maybe it's not wrong. Although her throat hurts a bit, Nene's chest definitely feels a lot lighter; and her mind is a lot calmer.
Reaching her hands up, she stretches back, careful not to irritate her injuries; placing one elbow on her pillow, Nene rotates her spine, relishing in the crackles it brings.
"Feels good, huh?" Emu grins.
"Mhm."
By the time she's done, having blown her nose and spat up a bit of phlegm - Tsukasa returns with the cold towel in one hand, and a thermometer in the other: "You can lie down in a sec, I'll just quickly take your temperature, yeah?"
"Okay."
One temperature check later...
"...Good! You're still a little feverish, but it's gone down," Tsukasa says, taking the thermometer out of her mouth and placing it on the bedside table. "I'll put the cloth back on."
Nene nods. She flops back, head hitting the pillow; the cloth is swiftly placed on her forehead, blissfully cool. "Thank you."
"Not a problem!"
"...No, seriously, thank you. A- All of you," Nene shuffles a bit, adjusting her position so that she's facing all three of them. "I- I've been meaning to say it since l- last night... Thank you for all the help. Sorry if– cough – if I've been a pain or anything... I really do appreciate it."
Emu smiles. "Of course, Nene! You'd do the same for any of us, any day! We just want you to get better so that you can go back to smiling all wonderhoy again!"
"I reiterate that! You've not been a pain or anything," Tsukasa chimes in. "Everyone needs to be cared for when they're sick, and you're no exception."
Rui nods. "Our songstress sometimes needs a little TLC, no? We're more than happy to provide."
Nene's face warms. She smiles back at them. "Thanks, you guys... I'll get better soon."
These companions of hers, so persistent in their care. Like a ray of sunshine that's determined to reach any and every shadow in her heart; no matter how tight she draws the curtains, the glow will break through any gap it can.
The shadows, no matter how ugly, no matter how old, will be touched; at times, you get upset.
Ashamed.
But after a while, you learn there's no avoiding it.
And then, you learn to love it - the pretty pink, the golden glow, the violet light. Warmth in its entirety, unrelenting in its kindness. Love, inside and out.
Nene wouldn't have it any other way.
She can feel her eyes begin to close again, drifting off; as if drawing a close on this story...
...
...
…
"...Wait, Nene."
Huh?
Rui looks conflicted. (Looks like this story isn’t over just yet.)
Worried by the look in his face, Nene forces her eyes back open, propping her body up with her elbow. "What's up?"
"Sorry, you can go back to sleep afterward. Just..." He looks away, expression unreadable. "I wanted to ask you something."
"...S- Spit it out then, you're scaring me."
Rui shakes his head, a small smile on his face. "It's nothing to be scared about, don't worry. Just something I'm curious about."
Nene tilts her head. Go on.
"...What you said before. You said you went out running, 'even though you weren't feeling well' - which is to say, you knew you weren't feeling well."
Oh. Guess we're doing this now.
"I heard from Shinonome today, too," He continues, despite definitely noticing the increasing shame in Nene's face. "He asked about your whereabouts, and mentioned that you didn't look yourself during class yesterday."
"That wasn't... that wasn't because I was feeling sick," Nene mumbles. "I just stayed up late practicing singing, and I was tired because of that."
Rui blinks. "So I did hear you rehearsing... But, why? We don't have any shows coming up, much less a deadline to meet."
"It's... it's stupid," She looks away. "I was trying to sing something, and I kept messing up, so I just... kept trying until morning."
"Without stopping?"
"Mhm."
The room falls into silence.
Nene catches Emu's gaze, just by chance - it's no surprise that she's frowning, smile gone; bubblegum pink eyes wobbling as she stares at Nene briefly, before looking away.
Similarly, Rui bears a worried expression; not quite looking at her, but rather the bandages on her hands, the thermometer that lies beside her lamp... the mountain of tissues that spill out of the small bin on the floor.
Nene meets Tsukasa's face, he's looking right at her, unfaltering; worry, mixed with something she can't quite recognize, given her hazed mind. Immediately, despite herself, she latches onto the first thing she can think of.
Pity.
Once the thought occurs, there's no going back.
"...What? Got something to say?"
"Nene, you know it's never good to push yourself like that. You could've seriously put yourself in harms way, practicing non-stop so late into the night—"
"I know , Tsukasa, you don't need to tell me," Nene cuts him off. "I... I just wanted to get it right."
"I can empathize with that feeling, but don't you think you went a bit too far?"
"Rich, coming from the guy who starved himself for three days."
"Wh– Okay. Fair point. But regardless, Nene," Tsukasa places his hands on his hips. "You have limits, just like the rest of us. It's good to push them sometimes, yes, but not to the point of hurting yourself like this."
She glares. "I don't need you to lecture me, Tsukasa. I don't need the 'breaks are important' spiel, so save it."
"I- I'm not trying to lecture you–"
"I get it. I should've taken a break, that I should've stayed home, that I— that I shouldn't have gone out, I just– ack!"
“Nene?!”
Nene cuts herself off with a cough, harsh on her throat. Painful. Maye should back down - it’s better if she stays quiet; in order to rest her voice, in order to get better.
But.
The canary needs its voice.
So she pushes through it, stubbornly dismissing their calls of concern, the tears that prick her eyes, the pain.
Nene swallows, and chokes out:
"–I need to keep going. I can't fall behind. Not again."
...
The room goes silent again.
It's already mortifying, admitting it out loud; accompanied with this reaction - or rather, lack of it - it makes Nene want to hide. The tear that's just trailed down her cheek, the sound of the sniffle that escapes her, the state of her body, her heart... she wants to tuck it all away. Out of sight, out of mind.
But she can't. After all, hasn't she fought all this time to be seen? To be heard ?
Nene has to face it. She has to face them.
And maybe, just maybe, that will be her path forward.
"...I- I'm sorry for snapping," Nene mutters, breaking the silence. "Really, I... I appreciate the worry, I really do, I just..."
A hiccup, another tear; she lapses into quiet once more.
How can I convey this feeling?
...
A hand rests on her leg.
Finally, she looks up; and it's Rui looks down at her, gaze gentle.
"We'd never leave you behind, Nene," He says, smiling softly. "We're on this path together, after all. Is there anything in particular that's been making you feel that way?"
"...I'm- I'm not really sure," Nene replies, timid. "I guess... just. The feeling of all my progress suddenly disappearing. Making mistakes that I was sure I grew out of– the last thing I want to do i- is hold you guys back, so I... I pushed it."
"What kind of mistakes?"
"Technical stuff. J- Just here and there. It got to me."
"I... I remember you mentioning something like that, after practice," Emu says, speaking up for the first time in a while. She stands up, moving toward the bed; climbing over Nene to sit on the left side of the bed, back to the window. "It was something about your, uh... faucet?"
Nene snickers. "You mean falsetto?"
"Mhm! That! You were worried about it," The girl continues, looking thoughtful. "But when I thought about your singing that day, all I could think was just - wow, Nene is so, so cool, and her voice is so so sparkly and pretty!"
Ah. "Th- Thank you, Emu–"
"But, but! The thing that I thought the loudest, the thing I noticed the most... It was how fun you looked like you were having. And I know that you're not satisfied with just that, because you're seriously moving toward your dream, but..."
"...I think it's still important," Emu's hands make their way to Nene's, holding them carefully. "To have fun. To smile. And the you right now isn't smiling at all! Which is no good! The audience can't smile if you can't, silly Nene."
Her hand is warm against Nene's. Nene can feel it, even with the bandages on.
Emu's right.
It's definitely not good to sing your throat raw, to the point of dizziness, breathlessness - and it feels even worse to have to see the worry in your dear friends faces after the fact.
A song that's fuelled by guilt, by doubt; how can she touch the audience's heart with a song like that?
In the end, the canary wishes to sing a song with love.
Nene loves to sing.
Holding that dear, above all else, is the priority.
To lose sight of that...
"...You're right. It is important," Nene agrees, squeezing Emu's hand. "It's... it's just hard, sometimes, I guess. Holding onto that feeling, while also trying to improve... thank you, for reminding me."
Emu beams. "Always! I love smiling Nene the most!"
She flushes, about to reply–
“Ahem. Nene.”
–when Tsukasa clears his throat, breaking his silence. Three heads turn his way.
"...Allow me to apologize. I didn't mean to scold," He says, forlorn. Quietly, he moves closer; the last to join them on the bed. Emu and Nene both shuffle over a little, and Tsukasa takes the spot gratefully. "And I'm sorry if you felt I didn't recognize your resolve. Your passion is really, truly, unrivalled... admirable, too."
Nene shakes her head, sniffling. "This is where it got me, though."
"It's... well, I won't sugarcoat it. It's definitely worrying, but it's not any less amazing," Tsukasa looks at her, fond. "You know, back at the park? I was really surprised when you overtook me. Not once, but twice! If you can do that when you're not 100%, then I'm excited to see your ability when you're in good shape!"
"Okay, okay, shush," He's so embarrassing, Nene thinks. "You were keeping pace with me, anyway. It's not all that terrific... but, thanks."
"Agree to disagree! But, you know, Nene - you are so much stronger than you think."
Hesitant lilac meets determined amber.
Stronger? Me?
Undeterred by her doubt, Tsukasa continues: "Think about it! If this was around the time we met, you wouldn't even dream of running with me, much less overtaking me. If this was back then, you'd probably be out of breath the moment we started running, and you'd have to use Nenerobo to catch up to me–"
"Get to the point, Tsukasa."
"–but seriously, look at you now!" He exclaims, smile bright. "You've done so many shows, sung so many songs... you've not only met your idol, but personally got lessons from her - you've touched so many people's hearts, far and wide."
Tsukasa puts a hand over Emu's. "You've grown. And you're still growing. There'll be no being left behind. Not with us."
"Mhm!" Emu grins. "We're a team!"
Nene stills. She's torn between calling him cheesy, or putting all her effort into holding back her tears; tears that are now threatening to spill for a very different reason. She doesn't get to do either, though, because Rui smiles, and reaches with his own hand; his hold engulfs all their hands with ease, with palpable kindness.
"Progress will never be linear, Nene. No matter how much we wish for it," Rui says, gaze set on Nene. "There'll be times where you feel on top of the world... there'll be moments of weakness, much like this one. But you'll never be alone at any point. All these feelings... we'll feel them, too."
"We'll grow," Tsukasa agrees. "Hand in hand. Like right now!"
Emu nods. "We'll make our dreams come true together!"
"You'll be right up there with us, Nene."
...
What an embarrassing display of emotion. Such heartfelt sentiments, genuine and open.
Only these three can say such things.
Only they can touch her heart like this.
"You guys are so corny," Nene laughs, voice breaking slightly on account of the scarce tears that have now grown into a never-ending rush of tears; falling without mercy. "Seriously... th- this is stuff you write in scripts, not say out loud..."
"Oh, please, that's hardly script-material," Tsukasa scoffs, reaching for the tissues. "If this were a script, I'd have a much longer monologue!"
Nene takes a tissue, looking at him blankly. "Right. Because the thing I want the most right now is a longer monologue."
"Really?!"
He looks so pleasantly surprised, she almost feels a little bad.
Well, almost. "No."
"Aww..."
"It's okay, Tsukasa!" Emu pats his hand. "You can monologue all you want at your mirror!"
"I suppose... Hey, wait, I don't monologue at my mir–"
"Hmm... even so," Rui cups his chin in thought. "If this, hypothetically, were a script with a hearty monologue, I imagine the stakes would have to be raised for dramatic effect in such a setting. Perhaps, instead of a cold, our songstress would be infected with something much more... sinister."
"Sinister?" Tsukasa blinks. "Why'd you say it like that?"
"Tell me, Tsukasa, have you heard of 'The Metamorphosis?'"
"Huh?"
Oh fuck.
It's too late; Rui's already telling Tsukasa about Gregor Samsa.
"..."
Nene doesn't think she's ever seen their troupe leader look so disgusted whilst looking at Rui.
Horrified, Tsukasa immediately vetoes the idea, professionally ignoring the tremble in his voice - in which both Rui and Emu whine in response, complaining that he's being unreasonable. Their director tries to explain that in truth, it is a reputable work of fiction, to the point it's used in schools as educational literature– when Emu cuts him off, saying that 'ever since I was a little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a cockroach :('
That makes Nene start laughing, which triggers another coughing fit, in which all three of them scramble to get her water, whilst Emu and Rui also simultaneously giggle in the face of a Tsukasa who's listing off reason after reason as to why that idea is horrible, and that he'll 'never talk to you both again if you do so much as sketch a blueprint of a cockroach costume–'
And, well. It's chaotic, but it’s nice. Easy.
Laughter all around her, smiles abound - Nene's heart feels light, even as she's coughing up her lungs.
"I think it's still important. To have fun."
It's surprisingly nice, to not only take a break, but to enjoy it - without the persistent feeling of guilt nipping at her heels; without feeling the need to move forward, even when your legs give out.
"There'll be no being left behind. Not with us."
The canary may stop to rest its wings, to land; but once it's okay, it will sing again. Better than ever.
"But you'll never be alone at any point."
Nene looks at her dearest friends, heart warm.
It feels okay, like this.
I'll be okay.
...
Eventually, the laughter dies down, and the quips come to an end. Likewise, the fatigue that sickness brings makes itself known once again, and Nene finds herself leaning on Emu's shoulder; feeling droopier by the second.
Rui glances at her. "Looks like someone needs to get some sleep, hm?"
"We should probably get going. It's already seven," Tsukasa agrees, glancing at his watch. "Saki will get upset if I'm not home for movie night."
"Aww... but we're having so much fuuun~!" Emu whines - Nene can't see her face, but she's sure she's pouting. "We could just sleepover! And take care of Nene alllll night!"
"'s not really a good idea," Nene mumbles, yawning. "If you somehow haven't already, you'll definitely catch what I have..."
"That's okay! I never get sick!"
"What a coincidence," Rui smirks. "I don't either."
"Woah, rea–"
"Bullshit." Nene lifts her head up, squinting. "You and I both know this cold is coming straight for you, Kamishiro."
"Proof?"
"Oh, I don't know– the last ten years????"
Tsukasa blinks. "Does it happen that often?"
"It's tradition," Nene shrugs. "One time I got the flu, and I had to stay in bed for a week. Rui had to go to the hospital."
Emu and Tsukasa both gasp in mutual horror.
Rui, the audacious fuck, all but shrugs nonchalantly: "It was minor. Just a bit of a fever."
"Your mother had to call the ambulance."
"Eh. Debatable."
"Wh- There's nothing t– What????"
"Okay, that's enough, that's enough!" Shaking his head, Tsukasa moves to stand up, brushing his pants off. "I swear to the stars above, you're going to kill me with worry one day, Rui. Here, Emu, I'll help you up."
As Emu takes the outstretched hand, stepping over the other two carefully; Nene takes the opportunity to lie back down, all the while holding her glare on Rui. He stares back at her with an equally undeterred smirk, and god does she want to threaten to cough in his face, but…
After all that sappy talk... Nene wouldn't exactly be telling the truth if she said that the warmth in her heart wasn't clouding her prickliness.
Curse you and your dumb stupid kindness.
Instead, she looks to Tsukasa and Emu. "Be safe on your way out. I- I'd show you to the door, but, uh..."
"Don't worry!" Emu grins. "I know where your door is!"
Tsukasa nods. "As do I!"
Nene blinks. "That's not- ...okay, sure, why not."
"If you lose your way, give me a call," Rui says, winking at Tsukasa and Emu. "I'll be your knight in shining armor."
While Emu giggles, bashful; Nene and Tsukasa both exchange a flat look, rolling their eyes - which, unfortunately, their director notices, and he starts up again, lamenting like some sort of reject shoujo protagonist.
If Nene wasn't so tired, she'd definitely have some... choice words - but thankfully, his guilt tripping is short-lived. Rui hops off the bed, stretching: "May as well walk you to the bedroom door, at least. Shall we?"
"Okay! Bye bye, Nene!" Emu blows a kiss. "We'll see you tomorrow okay! Take care! We'll finish that game soon, okay!"
"See you," Nene replies, waving. "I look forward to it."
Tsukasa, in similar fashion, blows his own kiss: "Get well soon! Remember - phlegm comes out, not in! Oh, and I scribbled down when your next dose of each pill can be taken, as well as when to change your bandages! Don't forget to take them, okay?! Oh, and eat lots and lots of vegetables–!"
"Okay, okay, bye Tsukasa." Seriously, he's more anxious than me sometimes...
Rui waves them both off, before... closing the door? With him still in the room?
Nene stares. "You're not leaving?"
"It's not good to leave a sick person alone, no?" He shrugs, moving back to sit at the foot of her bed. "I'll hang around, at least until your mother comes home."
Oh, right, her mom. "D- Does she know? That–"
"She knows you're sick, yes. I debriefed her earlier while you were sleeping."
"O- Okay..." Nene squints, yawning. "Are you sure, though? When I said that you were gonna catch what I had, I didn't mean you should try to catch it..."
"Fufu, don't worry, Nene. I've been on this thing called 'Vitamin C' lately."
"Huh? Does it... prevent sickness?"
"Not quite - although that's a common perception," Rui shuffles a bit closer, lifting up the blanket and draping it over Nene. "It serves to cut down the recovery time for colds and such. And along with other vitamins I'm taking, it should give me a bit of an immunity boost."
"You never used to take vitamins as a kid, though."
"That was before I discovered they come in gummy form."
Yeah, that sounds about right.
It's a little reassuring, at least; with how much Nene's been coughing all over the place, it doesn't look like the odds are in their favor. For the most part, Emu and Tsukasa definitely have strong immune systems (Nene has seen firsthand how much they eat) - and if Rui's telling the truth about the vitamins, then maybe there's nothing to worry about.
...Then again, she's seen firsthand how much Rui eats, too. Or rather, how much he doesn't eat, regarding vegetables - how much can vitamins really do for a guy like that?
The guy in question... is looking at her with a :3 face.
Nene rolls her eyes.
Whatever. I'll believe it when I see it.
Rui giggles, settling back in his spot. "Well then, I know what time to wake you for your medicine, so there's that... Is there anything else you need?"
"...Th- there's a... a futon, in the guest closet..." Thanks to the blanket, the tiredness is hitting Nene tenfold; she's fighting a losing battle, trying to keep her eyes open. "S- Sleep... on that."
"Yes, I will. Thank you, Nene. I love you."
Her eyes close.
"...L- love you too. Good...night..."
"Goodnight. Sweet dreams."
.
.
.
(Oh. She said that out loud.
…
…Nene blames it on the fever.)
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
The rest of the cold passes by uneventfully.
True to their word, Emu and Tsukasa both showed up the next day; Emu with some blankets from home that she remembers Nene liking the texture of, and Tsukasa with yet another bag filled with medicinal supplies and ingredients for a soup he'd been keen on making. Their good, caring mood quickly turned sour, though - both of them had zoned in on Rui, who was looking rather out of it... but as it turns out, he just didn't sleep well, and was presenting no symptoms whatsoever.
That was a big surprise - somehow, in the time Rui had spent taking care of Nene, he didn't get sick. Not even a bit of a fever. Tsukasa believed it was nothing short of a miracle; whilst Nene interrogated him on the vitamins he was taking because that efficacy is way too good to be true. Rui claimed they were 'completely ethical!', to which Nene claimed bullshit, and swore to ask his mother when she got the chance.
He stayed with her, though. Through all the coughing fits, and the sneezing and the miserable crying that happened an embarrassing amount (to reiterate: Nene has never, and probably will never be good at tolerating sickness) - Rui stayed. He would walk her to the bathroom and back, read her bedtime stories whilst giving all the characters unique (terrible) voices; since forever, he's always been a constant presence to lean on.
There were others, too - Emu got her to smile every single day, whether it was in person with a funny face, or a joke over the phone. Sometimes, she would doodle smiley faces and hearts on Nene's bandaged leg, humming to herself as she worked; other times, she would be there, holding Nene's hand gently as she drifted off.
Tsukasa, even though he's the biggest overreactor Nene's ever had the (dis)pleasure of knowing... His knowledge did come in handy on multiple occasions. If it weren't for him, she'd probably be in a lot more pain. He even taught her mom a thing or two - and that was a surprise. Can you imagine? Limping down the stairs, walking into the kitchen, and seeing your friend discussing medicine with your mother.
Nene's friends messaged her, too; Azusawa and Hinomori both texted her a 'get well soon', each with its own cute animal gif. Hoshino as well - after explaining why their singing practice had to be rescheduled, she had offered her condolences, and through Tsukasa delivered some herbal tea that Mochizuki had recommended.
Shinonome, as promised, had texted her the answers for the test... which was very sweet for about 2 minutes before Rui glanced at the screenshot and said that almost all of his answers were wrong. Aoyagi must've found out, too, seeing as he texted Nene a few hours later, saying that 'I won't give you the answers, but I'll help you study for the things you missed out on' - which was a little less sweet, but sweet nonetheless.
It's always nice, being reminded that your presence matters; that people care and think about you, even when you're not face to face. Nene held that warm feeling in her heart close at each message, each act of care - even hours after reading it.
Her friends made everything a little bit more bearable.
It's, admittedly, been a good break.
And oh, did they make sure Nene was taking that break. No humming, no singing, no acting practice, don't even think about acting, 'I know you're thinking about acting! Stop now!' – Although annoyed, it was a little funny watching how quick Emu and Tsukasa switched up from 'kind, quiet caretaker' to 'wrath of god' on her.
Tsukasa, Emu, Rui... They all cared for her in ways that Nene didn't expect them to - nothing deterred them, not once. But they're always full of surprises, after all; she doesn't think she'll ever get used to their spontaneous kindness.
And that's okay.
Because in the end, they're together.
The people that love her; the people that she loves.
Together, forever.
Nene wouldn't have it any other way.
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WONDERTASTIC FUNTASTIC WOOHOO PARTY FUN TIME GROUP CHAT!!!!!
< 9:37 PM >
tsukasq
[1 Image Attached]
Passed the math test!
rui
Oho, a passing mark
This is 10% better than your average, too
Very well done!
tsukasq
HAHAHAHA
Who knew that if you briefly glanced at the material, it may actually help you remember things more!
rui
A mystery indeed...
Either way, a rather good turnout, no?
tsukasq
What'd you get Rui?
rui
Ah
99%
tsukasq
AMAZING!!
rui
Ehh
tsukasq
I know you usually get 100, but this is still commendable! Don't worry okay! You're still smart!
rui
Oh, I'm not bothered, rest assured
I know where I messed up too...
Emu
THIS WAS FRIDAY RIGHT????
Maybe u were gettin all >_< in the head from worrying about nenenenene
rui
A fair assumption
maybe if i break my leg we can get rui to a 98
tsukasq
YOU
WILL DO
NO SUCH THING
it
it was a joke
Emu
DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!!!
I AM LITTLE BUT I AM VERY FAST
i literally JUST got rui to go home
i promise you i am not going to break my leg for the bit
stay home
rui
I miss her already...
stay home.
im not even sick anymore
rui
Are you sure?
mf YOU are the one that checked my temperature and said i wasnt sick anymore
rui
True :3
Are you feeling better, though?
(Physically and mentally)
physically yes
mentally... also yes
rui
That’s good :3
It’s only been a week though, so try not to push it, okay?
yeah yeah…
thank you guys. sorry for being a handful lol
Emu
NEVER APOLOGIZE >:(
It was ouuuur pleasure nene:D If ur feeling better then i am too!!
thank you...
Emu
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
hshhss i love you too
Emu
HEHEHEHEHEH
Ur goin to school tomorrow ya??
mhm
ik it's a friday n all but i have library duty … and a test to catch up on
n ive been in my house too long.
wow i never thought id say that
tsukasq
So even you can get tired of your room huh!
We'll see you tomorrow then :D
You have the mask i gave you right??
yes
and the lozenges
and the tissues.
tsukasq
And the ti
WOW OK
Touche nene. touche
:P
my mom says thank you for the tea u gave her btw
she says her muscle pain is getting better
tsukasq
OH WONDERFUL!!!
I'll be meeting her for dinner soon so I'll give her more then
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT???????????????
tsukasq
Just kidding! ✩
You joked toward me so I'm simply returning the favor!
HAHAHAHA!
WHAT THE FUCK
rui i'll pay you big money to build that bug robot
rui
Walk to school with me tomorrow and I'll give it wings <3
done
tsukasq
WHAT
NO
NONONONONOO
PLEASE
rui
This just in: We made Gregor Samsa real
tsukasq
STOP
Emu
I'll do Tsukasa's eulogy then :D
tsukasq
???????????????????????
Emu
Here lies... TENMA TSUKASA... world future star... X_X
tsukasq
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nene switches her phone off.
That's enough for tonight.
She places it beside her, inhaling through her nose; relishing in the feeling of the clear airway. There's still a bit of sickness left to shed (hence the mask she'll wear tomorrow) - but for the most part, Nene's good to go.
...
At least she thinks she is.
There's still one more thing to try.
Nene takes a breath.
Nervous, she tests the waters–
"...———♪"
–and the hum that sounds out is not only pain-free; but clear and resonant, too. Of course, it's not at the level she's used to (not singing for a week will do that to you)... but that's okay.
She'll get there.
Nene will grow.
Her voice will return to her, better than ever. And when it does, her closest friends will be there to witness it; it's thanks to them that she's been able to get this far, after all.
First them, and then the world.
The world will hear her song.
The canary will soar–
" ———♪~ "
–to new heights, and beyond.
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