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Hinata eyed the group across the gym that was whispering furiously with a scowling Kageyama in the center. The back of Hinata’s neck was prickling and he knew they were up to something. He wanted to run over and jump on Kageyama and demand to know what they were talking about, but Sugawara was talking to him about receiving tips and he was doing his best to pay attention to him. It was hard though. His eyes kept being drawn to the group, their whispers not as subtle as they were clearly trying to be. He met Kageyama’s eyes and the black haired boy whipped his head away, his face flushing. Tsukishima and Tanaka were smirking at him while Nishinoya was jumping up to poke his cheek. Hinata puffed out his cheeks. He just wanted to know!
“—but for the most part your receiving has definitely improved, keep up the good work!” Sugawara clapped Hinata on the back. Hinata whipped his gaze back to Sugawara, smiling brightly up at him, his face heating up.
“Thank you, Sugawara!!” Hinata yelled, jumping back and bowing.
“Alright, everyone!” Daichi yelled, calling for everyone to gather up. He got practice started, splitting everyone off into groups. Hinata wasn’t in the same group as Kageyama, but he kept an eye on him. He was completely normal though. By the end of practice, Hinata had almost forgotten about the loud whispers and Kageyama’s embarrassed scowling.
There were only ten or so minutes left in practice, and Hinata had gotten Kageyama to toss for him as he spiked ball after ball over, Nishinoya diving to the ground after a few tosses in and bumping them back up. Hinata’s smile felt almost too big for his face as his palm slapped against the volleyball and it slammed into the ground right next to Nishinoya’s outstretched arms.
Hinata whooped as Nishinoya groaned dramatically, jumping up angrily. He never got the ball past Nishinoya, like, never did.
“Do that again, I dare you!” Nishinoya roared as he was held back by Asahi.
“Don’t listen to him, Hinata,” Asahi said apologetically. “That was a really great hit!”
“Yeah, great job, Hinata!” Tanaka joined in, throwing an arm around Hinata’s shoulders.
“That was good.”
The gym went silent. Hinata turned, wide eyed, towards Kageyama. Kageyama was staring straight ahead, not looking at Hinata, but that had been his voice.
“Ahhh, Kageyama, so you do know how to be nice!” Hinata laughed, brushing over the resounding silence in the gym and bouncing over to poke Kageyama’s cheek repeatedly.
Hinata flinched as a hand settled on his shoulder, expecting a punch to the shoulder or cuff to the head, really any of Kageyama’s usual retaliation, but none of that happened. Instead, what he got was a light pat on the shoulder. Hinata peered up at Kageyama in confusion. His face was blank, an eyebrow raised as he looked down at Hinata.
“Good job,” Kageyama said again. Hinata froze. Kageyama walked away and grabbed a volleyball. He walked over to Asahi, talking about them trying out some tosses, talking as if he were completely normal and didn’t just- just-
Tanaka burst out laughing in Hinata’s ear. “Dude, you should see the look on your face!” he cackled.
“What- what look?!” Hinata said, making a face and looking away from Tanaka.
“Your brain short circuit or what?” Tanaka kept laughing, ruffling Hinata’s hair when he pouted.
“My brains completely fine,” Hinata insisted. “It’s out that he- he didn’t- well, you saw!” Hinata stuttered out, trying to explain and groaning in exasperation.
“Sure, sure,” Tanaka said. Tanaka dropped his arm as Daichi called for the end of practice and for everyone to start cleaning up.
Hinata barely noticed what he was doing as he ran around picking up volleyballs and folding up the net. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kageyama’s compliment or how he’d just walked away to calmly, like it was completely normal, like that was just something that they did. He couldn’t stop thinking about it as he made his way home or while he ate dinner with his family, and for once it wasn’t thought of volleyball distracting him from his homework but Kageyama’s words swirling through his head that made him zone out on his math worksheets. He just couldn’t stop thinking about it. He couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
He managed to forget it the next morning up until he got to school and saw Kageyama. Immediately, Kageyama’s words from the day before hit him in the chest. He fought to pay attention and trade sure to remember to say good morning to Kageyama, but his eyes still glazed over as he took his seat. He was thinking too hard about something that he should have an answer to. He should know why he couldn’t stop thinking about the compliment Kageyama, how genuine it felt, how it was like a gift, a precious gift, without any snippy comebacks or smacking to lessen how genuine it sounded. Just… just a compliment. A true compliment.
“Hinata.” Kageyama shook his shoulder. Hinata looked up at him, blinking to focus his fuzzy vision. He was standing in front of Hinata’s desk, frowning down at him. “Class ended.”
“What?!” Hinata looked around at the empty classroom before grabbing his unopened notebook and cramming it back into his bag.
And so went the rest of the day.
After every class, Hinata was so zoned out that Kageyama had to shake him out of it so they could go to their next class. During lunch, Hinata only managed to finish half of his lunch before the bell went off, cramming the rest of it in his mouth within seconds and earning himself a look of disgust from Kageyama.
Practice was a slightly different matter, although not by much. Hinata was able to focus on volleyball, he can always focus when it comes to volleyball, but every time he did well, something in the back of his mind itched, urging him to turn to Kageyama and look for some hint of a compliment, any bit of approval. This wasn’t new. Hinata’s heart always looked to Kageyama whenever he performed well in volleyball. They were teammates, friends, maybe even best friends. There’s nothing wrong with it.
But now Kageyama has shown that he can actually give a sincere compliment, and Hinata wants more, and it gives him this feeling that he’s doesn’t know what to do with. Like he’s not supposed to want it now that there’s the possibility of it being something that’s not just part of their normal bantering nature, their natural push and pull that they’ve been doing since they met, that’s driven them both to become better volleyball players. So he turns away from Kageyama. He doesn’t look for approval or compliments, doesn’t even look for their normal insults and comradery, just turns away and does something else that’s normal, like complimenting one of the other team members, or running after the ball and preparing for the next drill. He barely looks at Kageyama unless the ball is in the air and his feet are about to leave the ground.
After practice ends, Hinata rushes out and hips on his bike. He hadn’t thought that Kageyama would notice what he’d been doing, but when they circled up after practice, Hinata could feel Kageyama’s frowniness pointed in his direction. He didn’t want to be confronted, although he wouldn’t know what to say even if Kageyama did try to corner him. Actually, that’s exactly why he didn’t want Kageyama to try and corner him. He had no idea what to say. He had no idea why he’d been zoning out all day and then ignoring Kageyama during practice. Well, okay, yeah, he knew it was because of the complimenting thing, but that didn’t mean he had to act all daydreamy and embarrassed, like how Natsu acted when she had that crush on that kid in her class that one—
Hinata braked so hard he almost flew over his handlebars and face first onto the cement. He couldn’t believe it. He put a hand to his chest to feel where his heart was pounding much faster than normal. No, he’d just been biking up a hill, it was very normal to have a faster heartbeat when being physically active, that was completely normal, that didn’t mean that he—
No. He wasn’t going to say it. Wasn’t going to even think it. Because that couldn’t be true. He couldn’t— it’s not like he wanted to— he means, he didn’t even—
Hinata screamed in frustration, banging his head lightly against the cool metal of his handlebars. This wasn’t happening. Maybe if he pretended like he never thought about it then he would forget about it.
He made it the rest of the way home without screaming anymore, but no such luck with the thinking-about-it part. His thoughts were racing even faster than his heart by the time he made it up the final hill and propped his bike in front of his house.
Once inside, Natsu and his mom provided more than enough of a distraction to get him to stop thinking. He helped with dinner and setting the table, he played with Natsu, and once dinner was done he even stayed and helped with the dishes—without his mom asking him to. But once he was alone in his room with the only distraction left being homework he wasn’t going to do, he started thinking again, and he couldn’t get his brain to stop.
He thought about Kageyama, and how he would sometimes feel warm and fuzzy around him, like when he would sometimes buy a drink for Hinata when he went to get his milk, or when he’d make a face that made Hinata laugh and he didn’t put Hinata in a headlock but smiled along with Hinata, or how sometimes after away game Hinata would wake up with his head nestled into Kageyama’s shoulder, the other boys warmth seeping through their jackets. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kageyama. The pounding heartbeat from earlier must’ve been from the biking because it was gone now, but instead there was something fluttery and light, something Hinata wanted to cradle in his hands and not let go.
Hinata realized that he really, really liked Kageyama.
He turned and groaned into his pillow. This was going to make life so much harder.
•=•=•
Hinata didn’t really mean to, but he ended up ignoring Kageyama all day. Unlike yesterday, Hinata was up and out of classrooms at breakneck speed, not wanting a few extra seconds around Kageyama to set off his newly unstoppable train of thought, so he barreled from class to class all day. During lunch, he hid in the bathroom for most of the time and then once again scarfed down his food within seconds.
Practice was much harder though. He had to look at Kageyama. He even had to acknowledge him, pay attention to him, communicate with him. He did his best to keep his focus on the ball and the direction of the ball rather than Kageyama, but it didn’t really work. He got a few balls to the face during practice, much to Tamala’s amusement. He barely listened to Daichi after practice, just humming with nervous energy, ready to bolt for the exit as soon as they were all dismissed.
Let it be know that Hinata did his absolute best. But his best still comes up short when compared to Kageyama.
Hinata had been roped into carrying stuff back to the club room, which meant that he didn’t get to his bike as fast as he wanted to, which meant that Kageyama had enough time to get there first so he could stand there and wait for Hinata.
Hinata slowed his walking way down when he saw Kageyama glowering at the ground in front of his bike. He considered exiting a different way and just walking home, but there’s no way he was going to do that and make it home in any way safe or sound. He sighed and dragged his feet all the way to his bike.
When Kageyama looked up, Hinata wondered if he could get away with playing innocent and pretend like he didn’t know what was going on at all and convince Kageyama that Hinata wasnt actually ignoring him. But the look on Kageyama’s face told him that was pointless. This was going to happen. And Hinata was going to need to figure out in the next few minutes what to do with a crush he’d just found about less than 24 hours ago. Great.
“Hinata,” Kageyama said. Hinata waited but there was nothing else.
“Kageyama,” Hinata said back.
“Why have you been ignoring me.”
“No I haven’t.” Look, just because Kageyama wasn’t going to take it as an answer didn’t mean Hinata couldn’t try.
“Yes you have.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do.” Oh well. He tried.
Hinata stayed silent. He wanted to give Kageyama an answer. He didn’t want to ignore his best friend. He just didn’t know how to do this. How to balance two different but very similar feelings all while being in very close proximity, day after day. Hinata wasn’t used to hiding what he was feeling, and he didn’t want to. He just didn’t think that admitting to your crush on your best friend to said best friend was the best idea, and he didn’t know how to get around that.
It took a moment, but eventually Hinata realized that Kageyama had stopped walking. He turned to see Kageyama staring at the ground and fidgeting with the strap of this bag.
“Is it because…” Kageyama started, and Hinata’s heart rate kicked up about twenty notches. Kageyama took a shark breath in and then started taking. Very quickly. “The other day at practice, Tanaka and the others told me to compliment you and not retaliate and to act like it was completely normal, and so I did because they said it would be funny and that your brain would fry out or something like that, I don’t know, I didn’t want to but they kept nudging me and I did and you’ve been acting weird ever since and I’m really sorry.”
Hinata stared at him, eyes deer-caught-in-headlights wide, absolutely stunned. He mouth might’ve been hanging open a little too.
“What?” he said. It was the best he could manage. His mind was spinning.
“I don’t really understand what I did wrong,” kageyama got out, the words broken up, “but I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or mad or anything else. We can just forget it.”
Kageyama was apologizing. He was actually apologizing for something, and Hinata’s stomach rolled over for making him feel like he did something wrong, like he’d messed up somehow just by being a little nice. Like he was at fault.
Hinata wanted to tell him that it was okay, that it was just Hinata being weird and stupid and having a few off days, that it wasn’t anything to do with Kageyama and that they were still friends.
Hinata’s mouth, however, hadn’t gotten the memo.
“So you didn’t actually mean that compliment then?”
Kageyama’s head jerked up at that, surprise on his face. Hinata’s clapped his hands over his mouth and warming cheeks.
“Huh?”
“No! Nothing! Never mind!”
“No, what did you—“
“It’s really okay! You didn’t do anything wrong, and I’ve just been a little off, but—“
“Hinata!” Kageyama yelled, clapping his on either side of Hinata’s face to stop his talking. Hinata blinked up at him as the tips of his ears turned read. He turned his head to the side. “I meant what I said to you.”
“Oh.” Hinata’s face was burning, he could feel it. “Okay.”
The silence lasted much longer than it needed to—which meant it was a few seconds of thick, heavy silence where both of them stared a little too hard—before Hinata pulled his face out of Kageyama’s hands and kept walking, his bike clicking along next to him. Kageyama kept pace with him.
They did this occasionally. Hinata and Kageyama would walk part of the way home together, even though it was faster for Hinata to bike the whole way and it was a few minutes out of Kageyama’s walk home. But sometimes, after big games or when there was something they wanted to talk about that just couldn’t wait (okay maybe that one was mostly just Hinata but Kageyama did talk too) and so they would walk a little longer together. It rarely happened though. Hinata normally treasured it, but it just felt stilted now.
“So,” Kageyama started, “you liked it when I complimented you?”
Hinata resolutely kept his face turned away, his cheeks growing warmer. “No, of course not!”
“I can start complimenting you more.” Kageyama’s voice was closer, like he was leaning down. Hinata whipped his head up, eyes wide. Kageyama looked serious. Amused maybe, his eyes bright, but serious. Hinata’s heart stuttered.
“No!” Kageyama opened his mouth, but Hinata stopped walking and slapped his hands across Kageyama’s mouth. He gave Kageyama his own very serious, very much not amused look. “Don’t do that.”
“Why not?” Kageyama asked, his voice muffled.
“Because,” Hinata said. “Because it’ll make it weird. It’s not normal.”
Kageyama pushed his hands away. “Well.” He looked away from Hinata awkwardly. “It could be.”
“No it can’t.”
“It could be!”
“No it can’t!”
“Why not?!”
“Because it would—ughhhhhhhh…” Hinata squinted down at the ground, his nails digging into his palms. He really didn’t want to say. “It would just be weird.”
“It’s not that weird. You like getting compliments from all our other teammates,” Kageyama pointed out. Hinata pouted. He hated how practical Kageyama could be sometimes.
“It’s different,” Hinata mumbled, still not looking at Kageyama.
“How is it different?”
Hinata chanced a glance at Kageyama. He looked so genuinely confused and maybe even a little hurt that it made Hinata’s stomach clench.
“If…” Kageyama started, his confusion shifting to a slightly pained look, and Hinata knew he was trying not to show that he was hurt. It made him a little nauseous. “I thought… well, I don’t have to if you really don’t want me to,” Kageyama mumbled, not looking at Hinata. His voice sounded so small. Fragile in a way that Hinata sometimes forgot that Kageyama could be.
Kageyama kept walking, having seemingly closed the conversation and ready to just leave it at that, but Hinata was frozen, his heart pounding in his ears. This was Kageyama. The boy who he never ever wanted to feel bad about anything, especially not something as stupid as this. He trusted Kageyama. He knew, somewhere in that brain of bis, that Kageyama wouldn’t laugh or scold him. It just might turn this weird, space-filled awkwardness between them into a permanent thing.
Better awkward than whatever painful thing Kageyama was feeling right now, though.
“Kageyama!” Hinata called out.
He walked up to Kageyama as he turned around to look at Hinata. Kageyama eyed Hinata warily as he stared up resolutely at Kageyama. Clenching his fists with a determination that went against his beating heart, he leaned forward on his tiptoes and planted the smallest kiss on Kageyama’s cheek.
“Okayseeyoubyeeeeee!” Hinata said, already hopping on his bike and pedaling away, his heart hammering in his ears.
“Hey!” Kageyama yelled, giving chase. “Hinata!”
The wind quickly swallowed Kageyama’s cries for Hinata to “get back there” and “stop and talk to me” and left only the sound of his panting and beating heart.
His mom and sister were gone when he got home, off at one of Natsu’s friends’ house for a playdate, which meant that Hinata could just collapse on the front step to catch his breath and not be questioned as to why he didn’t move for the next fifteen minutes.
He might’ve stayed there longer if Kageyama hadn’t sprinted down the street, yelling Hinata’s name all the way.
“What are you doing here?” Hinata asked as Kageyama stood in front of him, bent over and panting hard. “What did you do, sprint the whole way?”
“Yes,” Kageyama bit out. “Because some idiot decided to run away from me!”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” Hinata protested. “You didn’t have to run after me!“
“Dumbass,” Kageyama muttered. “Just don’t run away next time and I won’t have to run up twenty hills to catch up with you.”
“Pshhh, it’s like five hills, you big baby. Besides, it’s good for you. It’ll help your stamina.”
Hinata tried to make it a joke, tried to ignore the whirring of his brain that was caused because Kageyama had run after him, which meant this wasn’t something they could just brush past, but something that they were now going to have to have an actual conversation about, and Hinata hadn’t prepared for that, not really, he hadn’t really been prepared at all for what he’d done earlier, let alone actual words, and—
“Hinata,” Kageyama said, breaking through his thoughts. “I like you.” Hinata’s brain screeched to a shudderingly, just white screened, all thoughts going absolutely blank.
“Uhhh.”
Kageyama stared at him, all sweaty and still breathing heavily from sprinting the whole way here, that same fragile look in his eyes, but this time it was a little brighter, and little hopeful. Eventually Kageyama ended up scowling at Hinata for his silence.
“Can you say something?” he snapped, his cheeks going pink.
“What?” Hinata’s brain clearly was still not working.
“Say something!” Kageyama said again, this time looking away. “Just, say—“
Hinata brain still couldn’t come up with any words, but it didn’t need to when Hinata pulled Kageyama down and kissed him once, hard, on the lips.
“I like you, too,” Hinata said, his cheeks absolutely going red.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” After a best of silence where they both huddled their feet awkwardly, Hinata said, “Do you want to come inside? We could watch a movie.”
“Okay,” Kageyama said.
And they entered the house completely normal. They acted the same way they always had. Hinata poked at Kageyama until Kageyama snapped at him, and Kageyama teased until Hinata pouted, and they were the same as they always had.
Except now, when they sat next to each other on the couch to watch a movie, Hinata could reach over and grab Kageyama’s hand, and Kageyama could squeeze it back.