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She was gone. She had just gotten her back. Just got to be near her again. And then she was gone. Her baby sister. Ripped away like she was never truly there at all. Like Vi was just going crazy. Imagining a sister who never existed, to make up for the child Vi abandoned to the flames.
“Is she any better?” A familiar voice asked.
“Physically, she’s fine.”
“But?”
“But,” The male voice sighed, “Mentally, I can hardly tell if in she’s there at all. The trauma of everything has deeply affected her.”
The woman sighs, a sad little sound that makes something in Vi's stomach ache.
“There’s another issue, Commander.”
“Yes?”
“The child.”
A week after her sister fell from the sky, Vi felt her humanity begin to return. She awoke in Cait’s bed, enveloped in a pillowy softness she will never truly adapt to. Not that she deserves to. She has no right to enjoy such self-serving comforts while her baby sister’s body decays. It should have been her. It should have been her. It should have been-
“Vi!” Her girlfriend's voice is high and anxious, cutting through the spiral of Vi’s thoughts.
She blinks as the room around her comes into focus, revealing her girlfriend, whose hands are hovering inches away from her face, but not touching.
“You, uh,” Cait pulls her hands away with such caution, like she’s afraid of scaring an animal, “You were screaming, I wasn’t sure how to help.”
“Oh.” Vi responds, the sound barely audible. Then, she looks up, to meet her girlfriends eyes. But- “Fuck.”
“What?” Caitlyn asks, glancing around the room.
It takes incredible strength for Vi to lift her hand, like she’s attempting to carry a ton of bricks, but eventually she does. She extends her finger, and roughly points at the eyepatch adorning her girlfriend's face.
“Oh, that. Well, Ambessa got me good.”
Normally, that would be more and enough to send Vi into a battle, armed with fury and a need to defend the girl she loves so much. This time, though, the most she feels is a tiny little flicker in her stomach.
“Don’t worry, though,” Caitlyn says, “She’s not a threat anymore. Mel made sure of that.”
Vi moves its hand from its place pointing at Caitlyn’s wounds, and instead pushes further. She cups Caitlyn’s cheek, causing a soft little smile to rise on the girl's face as she turns to gently kiss her hand.
“Get some rest, Vi, god knows you need it.”
Vi spent most of the next week lying in that bed, being pulled in and out of violent thoughts. Memories of her little sister attack her, both the good and the bad. A memory of them holding hands as young children turns into her slipping from her grip. Childhood laughter turned into the manic giggle of Jinx. Sweet comfort turned into the harsh words Vi spat at her. A jinx. How different would it all be if Vi hadn't said those words to her?
Caitlyn is the only sense of comfort in the cruel monotony of her life. She offers Vi sweet nothings, running her hands through her hair and holding her close as she cries and cries. The comfort only lasts for so long, because everytime Vi finds herself feeling okay, she is bombarded by visions of her sister dying. Drowning in the dead of night. Little Powder being exploded by those stupid crystals. Bleeding from a gunshot wound, begging for reassurance. Pulling the pin of a grenade as Vi is powerless to stop her. Every death is different, but it’s still all the same. Because no matter what, Vi can’t save her.
Her sister still dies, and Vi still wakes with an emptiness that will never be filled.
“Vi,” Cait says, the word clearly having a bunch of thought put into it despite it being just her name. Something was very wrong.
“Yeah?” Vi responds, her voice hoarse and weak from disuse.
“Well, it’s… The kid, Isha, she’s been in the hospital since everything that happened with Viktor and Vander, remember? In the undercity.” Cait pauses, and when Vi gives no acknowledgement, she continues on.
“Well, she’s ready to be discharged from the hospital now. She’s still not great, but she doesn’t need constant medical attention anymore, and the hospital is so crowded they can’t afford to have space occupied unnecessarily. The issue is, Isha doesn’t really seem to have any family, all she had was…”
Cait trails off, and Vi’s voice comes out harsh and miserable, “You can say her name.”
“Right, yes, well, it’s becoming clear that all Isha had was Jinx. You are, in a sense, her sister. You are all she has left.”
Vi feels a sinking feeling in her stomach, her heart aching at the thought of yet another kid ripped away from their family. For the years that Powder was all alone. For the years teenage Vi had spent locked up in prison, pleading for it all to be over. Vi knew her sister well enough to know that she wouldn’t be able to stomach the concept of Isha having to grow up alone.
“I’ve been having some conversations with people, and we think, if you're up to it, the best possible place for her is with us. You can say no, there are other options, but we think this would be the best possible situation for her.”
“Yes.”
Cait seems surprised by Vi’s immediate response, “Pardon?”
“Yes. Of course I’m taking her.”
“It is crucial to consider that this will not be easy. She will require lots of physical, emotional and mental support. It will be a lot of responsibility. There other other options, like Ekko, or Sevika, or we could-”
“No. I’m taking her.”
“Vi,” Caitlyn’s voice is almost pleading, “You’ve been through alot, just think about it for a second. Are you sure you're in the position to-”
“No. I’m not abandoning another kid. I can’t.”
And that was that.
A few days later, Vi pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. She dressed in clean clothes, but didn’t bother touching her matted hair or applying makeup. Cait swept her up into her arms the second she laid eyes on her. For just a few moments, Vi let herself sink into her girlfriend's warm, affectionate embrace.
But it didn’t last long. She had responsibilities now.
A nurse greeted them from the second they walked in, and spoke of Isha’s care to them. She spoke as if they had been here before, just recounting the last few days, which is strange because Vi knows a lifetime has passed since she last laid eyes on the kid.
Little hands were reaching out to her from the second she walked into the room. She wiggled on the chair she was sitting at, but did not stand to approach Vi, leaving her to close the gap herself.
“Hey, Isha.” Vi said, lifting her up into her arms.
The girl came easily, but Vi noticed her left leg remained slack as she lifted the child.
Caitlyn seemed to notice this too, asking, “Her leg still not any better?”
Vi turns to her, finally putting pieces together, “You've been here before”
Cait looks a little caught off guard by the direct statement, “Yeah, I came as much as I could.”
And Vi doesn’t know what to do with that.
The doctor begins to speak, about her leg, about trauma, about recovery, but Vi doesn’t pay attention to most of what they say. All she can focus on is the little kid sitting in her lap. All she can hear is the deafening sound of Powder’s tears. Vi doesn’t want Isha to cry. Vi wonders if she will ever again be the joyful kid she spent those precious days with. Or if she will become just another Zaun kid whose spark was sucked out of them, leaving them empty and dull.
She had almost died that day. A stupid, heroic act of sacrifice. Just what Vi would expect from a child raised by her idiotic sister. But Jinx was gone. All that was left in her wake was a desperate big sister, and a lonely child.
They were dismissed, and Vi held Isha in her arms, as she clung to her neck like a koala to its mother. Vi could hardly see where she was walking, trusting in her girlfriend to guide her. Her vision had gone blurry, and all Vi could do was place one step in front of each other. She just had to keep walking. She couldn’t afford to fall with the weight of the world in her arms.
When they arrived at the Kirramman mansion, Isha refused to detach herself from Vi. She didn’t blame her. After growing up in the streets of the undercity, the sheer magnitude of the house was bloody intimidating.
“Well,” Caitlyn broke the suffocating silence they had been walking in, “Shall I go make us some food?”
She gets no response, but doesn’t seem to expect one, disappearing down the hall. Vi watches her go, and her heart immediately begins to pick up its pace, beating out of her chest. What if that's the last time Vi ever see her? What if she can’t save her either?
Fuck. How the hell is Vi supposed to care for a child? She couldn’t keep Powder safe. She was supposed to protect her, guide her, make sure she was okay. But she failed. She failed in her responsibility to care for Powder, and now they've stupidly put another kid in her hands. She was going to fuck this one up too. It was inevitable. No matter how hard Vi tries, she will do something wrong. She will ruin the kid. She will make the bad decision, she always does. What is she supposed to do? How can she care for Isha when she’s barely capable of keeping herself alive?
Small hands grab her face, causing Vi’s heart to leap from her chest. She is met with tear-filled amber eyes, dragging her face to look into hers. The girl gestures aggressively, but what she’s trying to say means nothing to Vi. Out of the very limited amount of sign Vi had picked up, these words were not included. Vi couldn’t even communicate with the kid without her sister here. How was she supposed to do this?
“I don’t know what you're saying.”
This only furthers to frustrate Isha more, a huff followed by more aggressive signing. Vi is clueless. As always. Then she’s moving, throwing herself out of Vi’s arms, hitting the ground hard.
“Shit!” Vi crouches besides the kid, who lets out a low moan.
Vi delicately places a hand on Isha’s shoulder, “You can’t go throwing yourself around like that, your leg is super messed up and you’re not going to be able to walk like that. I think Cait has a cane for you from the hospital if you want to walk by yourself?”
Isha shakes her head, and attempts to pull herself up again, before she collapses. She tries to stand. She collapses. The kid is adamant, continuously attempting to stand to her feet, only to be met with a continuous failure. Every fall causes a pained noise from her, but that is the most response she seems to have to her suffering. Vi reaches her arm out to help the child. But it's aggressively pushed away. They continue like this until Caitlyn reappears.
“Isha!” Caitlyn picks up the kid swiftly, which is immediately met with Isha kicking and hitting her, “Vi, why are you letting her do this?”
Vi shrugs, “She wanted to.”
“She has underwent a severe injury, not to mention the trauma, you can’t just let her-”
“She was going to, anyway, Cait. I’d rather her do it while I was here.”
“It’s not good for her to-”
“None of what has happened is good for her.”
That silences Caitlyn. Good.
The rest of the day passes as much like an ordinary day as it possibly could. Isha and Caitlyn argue over food, Isha refusing to eat the fancy Topsider meals Caitlyn tries to serve her. The plate is shoved back and forth between them over and over again and Vi’s head bounces back and forth while she’s watching a tennis match. Eventually, they reach an agreement. Isha agrees to eat, but it’s not exactly the nutritious food Caitlyn was surely hoping to feed her. Instead, Isha is sitting on the counter eating a bowl of ice cream.
Caitlyn sighs, resting her head on Vi’s shoulder.
Vi gives her a sympathetic pat but says, “Food is food, Cait.”
Cait's response is soft, “I know.”
“You can’t blame her. She's lost everything, of course she's going to put up a fight."
“She’s here, and so are you. That’s what matters.”
“Fuck,” Vi responds, blinking back the tears that unwilling spring with her eyes.
“Do you need ice cream?”
“Yeah,” Vi breathes out, “Yeah, please.”
That’s how Cait and Vi end up joining Isha sitting on the counter, scooping from heaped bowls of ice cream. Vi doesn’t have much of an appetite, but her eating seems to encourage Isha to do the same, so she does so anyway. Vi’s mind conjures the memory of the one and only time she had taken Powder out for ice cream. She had gotten the money legitimately, doing odd jobs for people all over the undercity, and scraping together coins to sneak her little sister up to Topside and take her to an ice cream parlour. Even with months worth of saving, she only had the money to buy her sister ice cream and none for herself, but the ache in her stomach was worth it seeing the look of pure joy on her baby sister's face.
She wished Isha’s face could mirror that look. Instead, the girl is just empty, staring blankly ahead into nothing, her mouth pulled into a permanent frown. It breaks Vi’s heart.
They go to bed soon after, before the sun has even set. That day already felt so long, and it quickly becomes apparent that there is no point letting it last any longer. Vi carries Isha to a spare room, one of the smaller ones, hoping it'll be more cozy for the girl than a big empty void. As she's tucked in the girl clings onto her, refusing to let her go. Vi’s resolve only lasts so long, and eventually she’s climbing into the cozy bed beside her. The young child clings to her, and Vi nestles her face into the soft blue hair, listening to the sound of her breathing. Isha falls asleep as the sun sets, and only then does Vi let the tears fall. The moon rises into the sky, and clung together in the unfamiliar bedroom lay the sisters left behind.