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My Alexander, my dear Alexander you were charming, brilliant, and had me absolutely smitten. From the moment I saw you at the ball I knew I was helpless and after all the sweet enchanting letters you wrote I knew you were mine. I was hopelessly in love. You had made me believe you were mine. After our wedding and Philips birth I had hoped we'd be enough to satisfy you and that rapidly flowing mind of yours. I hoped that would be enough for you but your constant work and rapid writing kept you busy and away from your family, I remember Philip's 9th birthday you were working on your plan for congress, I recall Angelica and I begging you to take a break and come with us upstate but that stubborn mind of yours insisted in staying and finishing your work. After I had heard the news of burr running against my father i knew it had stirred up so much anger in you, when Philip and I read that I knew (*sad giggle*) I had to stop a homicide so Philip and I rushed back to New York, you smiled because I was right Washington and I had told you to let it go but you didn't listen, Alexander I haven't told you enough times how much I love that mind of yours, your words, but that's all they were… just words. While getting your plan through congress you had done something else , something unforgivable, According to the Reynolds Pamphlet “The charge against me Is a connection with one James Reynolds. For purposes of Improper speculation - My real crime is an Amorous connection with his wife For a considerable time With his knowing consent.” These were the words you used Alexander and I am still in disbelief reading you try to save your own ass you even told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed!! In clearing your name you had ruined our lives, I erased myself from the narrative and burned all of the letters that could have redeemed you. I wanted to hate you Alexander, you were so obsessed with your legacy so paranoid of how they perceive YOU! That all you ever thought about was just you , you didn't think about me, your WIFE or your SON or DAUGHTER! YOU WERE SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR IMAGE !!! Did you not think your actions would have consequences !? A few years later your actions got MY SON killed….. I was left with an empty heart for so long, we had moved uptown, it was much more quiet uptown. You and Burr were still at each other's throats. The last words you said to me that night were “Best of Wives and Best Of Women”... and then you went to Jersey to have that duel with Burr, the same spot that our son died in, you knew you weren't going to make it back to me …. I repeated the same words to you as I did our son
Un…Deux…Trois…Quatre…Cinq…Six…Sept…Huit…Neuf….
Alexander, When you had died I was left feeling so helpless, but I couldn't just mourn so I stopped wasting time on tears and put myself back in the narrative. I talked to every soldier who had fought by your side to help understand more of your story. I also helped raise funds for the Washington monument and I spoke out against slavery I know you could have done so much more if only we’d had more time together. Oh and I established the First private Orphanage in New York City, I get to see hundreds of children grow up and whenever I look at them the only thing that I see is you alexander. Oh how I can't wait to see you again ...no matter how much pain you've put me through I will forever love you .
All my love,
Elizabeth Schuyler