Chapter Text
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It’s a little fascinating how sometimes you might know someone very well yet still know almost nothing about specific parts of their lives. You can meet someone in elementary school, become close friends almost immediately, meet their parents. You can literally know them for the better half of your life, watch them grow and become successful. You can know all about the foods they love and the foods they hate, the fact that they love having their hair played with even though they would never say it out loud.
Yet somehow you could still be completely unaware, for about a decade and a half, that your best friend was actually really close with a family member that you had never even heard of.
Soobin was about to find that out the moment he stepped into Beomgyu’s place and was met with the back of a man he had never seen before. The only reason he didn’t scream was because the man’s hair was blond, almost the same exact shade of blond that Beomgyu had dyed his hair to recently. Instead, he stood there, silent and stuck in place until the man acknowledged him.
“I’m guessing you’re not here to jump me since you got the passcode right in one go.” the only thing Soobin could process was that the man had a very subtle accent even though his korean was perfect. The actual words were reduced to background noise in his head as the man turned around to look at him.
He was running to Beomgyu’s room immediately after, only one thought screaming in his head. ‘Holy shit. How the fuck can someone be so pretty?’ He shut the door behind himself and freaked out for a moment longer, placing a hand over his chest to feel the hard thumping of his heart. ‘He’s too beautiful. I need to get a grip. Was that real? What the fuck?’
Shaking his head did nothing to make the thoughts in his head stop, but it did help him catch the slow shifting of the figure on the bed in front of him. He got on the bed to gently shake Beomgyu’s shoulder.
“Hey, you need to wake up, buddy. There’s a man in your kitchen and I’m kind of freaking out.” Beomgyu just let out a sound between a moan and a groan and tried to bury his face in his pillow. “Please, Beomgyu. I just need to know who that is. You can go back to sleep after. Please wake up.” the pleading tone on Soobin’s voice seemed to work because the younger man huffed out a deep sigh and slightly sat up, rubbing his eyes.
“Why are you freaking out?” Beomgyu frowned at him, eyes squinting as he tried to focus on Soobin’s face through his blurry eyesight.
“There’s a man in your kitchen. He seems pretty chill and he’s very…uh…anyways, he didn’t look dangerous.” Beomgyu just kept squinting at him for a moment too long. “His hair is the same color as yours. Who is he?”
That seemed to finally set off the lightbulb in Beomgyu’s head but instead of answering he just started laughing. Soobin just glared at him for a few seconds before lightly smacking his shoulder.
“Tell me who that is, dammit. This isn’t funny.” it still took Beomgyu a moment longer to control his laughter and actually speak.
“That’s my cousin. Yeonjun-hyung is staying here for a bit.”
“Your cousin? I thought I met all of your cousins.” Soobin looked at him confused when Beomgyu shook his head.
“Yeonjun-hyung lives in the states. He has been living there since middle school.” Soobin made a small noise of understanding. “He used to visit regularly while he was in college but I think you were usually busy whenever he was around. Must have missed the timing.” Beomgyu shrugged.
“Through all these years?”
“Well, he hasn’t come to Seoul for a few years now. He’s been really busy ever since he finally got into Hollywood.” Soobin’s eyes almost bulged out.
“Hollywood? He’s a celebrity?” he frowned when Beomgyu snorted.
“Could be but nah, he’s a stylist. He’s worked with almost every big celebrity you can think of. He’s also modeled a couple of times but it’s always been for high end, small brands.” Beomgyu ran a hand through his hair, getting rid of a few tangles. “He’s the one that did my hair actually. He was doing his hair and then just pulled me to the bathroom with him and started doing my hair too.”
“He did a great job.” and he wasn’t lying. He had been a little obsessed with the recent change, the golden color really did suit Beomgyu. The blond huffed, looking a little smug as he pushed his hair back dramatically before getting up.
“Come on. I should introduce you guys properly. I bet Yeonjun-hyung was acting all cool while panicking on the inside.”
They found Yeonjun sitting by the kitchen bar, sipping on a glass of iced coffee that was immediately forgotten the moment he noticed the other two. Beomgyu seemed to be right judging by the way the older blond stood up but started fidgeting almost immediately. Soobin’s eyes followed as he brought up his hand to tuck a couple of golden strands behind his ear. Even his nervous mannerisms were pretty.
“Good Morning.” now that he knew Yeonjun lives in the states he wasn’t surprised to hear the smooth english but he was surprised by the subtle change in his voice.
“Morning.” Beomgyu parroted back and held back a yawn. “Yeonjun-hyung, this is Choi Soobin. Yes, the Soobin.” Yeonjun made a silent ‘oh’ and smiled but Beomgyu shot him a glare. “Shut up, it’s been years.”
“I don’t care how many years it’s been. As long as you’re single I won’t drop it.” Soobin wanted to curse, the mischievous smile on Yeonjun’s face had his heart racing again. Anyway, what were they talking about?
“Hyung, we were in high school!” Yeonjun shrugged and Beomgyu quickly gave up. “I hate you, whatever. Soobin-hyung, this is Choi Yeonjun and he’s the usual LA pest.”
“Wait, what about high school?” Soobin was already a little lost but he almost lost the ability to think again when Yeonjun looked at him with a wide smile.
“Beomgyu’s crush on you.” the words took a beat too long to process in his mind and he startled when Beomgyu groaned loudly.
“I’m going to throw your shit out the balcony.” Beomgyu turned to go to the guest room but Yeonjun jumped on him, hugging him tight. “You’re so annoying. He already knows anyways.”
“I don’t believe you. Did he really confess to you?” it took Soobin another second to register that he was being addressed.
“Uh, yeah. Second year of high school. I rejected him and he brushed it off.” Yeonjun blinked and let go of Beomgyu to pet his hair instead.
“Huh, you do have balls.”
“Yeah and they’re bigger than yours.”
“You’ve never seen them.”
“Exactly, they’re so small I can’t see them even if I tried.” Beomgyu yawned right in Yeonjun’s face who scrunched up his face and took a step back. “I’ll go back to bed. Please be nice, hyung.”
With that both Soobin and Yeonjun looked at Beomgyu until he closed the door to his room behind him. Neither was really sure who that last comment was for. The blond was the first one to move, grabbing his coffee and going back to the kitchen.
“Don’t mind me. You can do as you usually would and pretend like I’m not here.” Yeonjun was pulling out things from the fridge and the pantry and Soobin hesitated before responding.
“On weekends I come over and take care of breakfast or lunch unless I’m busy.”
“Oh.” Yeonjun stopped and looked at Soobin before looking back at the eggs he had just pulled out of the fridge. “Well, I’m ahead of you there but you can help if you want.”
“Sure.” he swallowed, still a little nervous but slowly getting used to how beautiful Yeonjun was. At least he could think a little better now.
The menu Yeonjun had chosen was a classic american breakfast, eggs, bacon, toast and pancakes. He asked Soobin to cook up the eggs and bacon while he took care of the pancakes and the toppings for them.
“You like chocolate, right?” Soobin hummed and nodded. “I’ll add chocolate chips for yours.”
Soobin looked over and watched Yeonjun as he added a rather generous amount. It was a simple gesture and a small guess but it still had him reacting like a teenager with a crush all over again. So he mumbled his thanks and went back to focusing on his task.
By the time they had plated everything he realized that they had made way too much food for three people but Yeonjun was quick to reassure him.
“Maybe if we ate like Beoms this would be too much food but I’m sure we won’t have any leftovers.” Soobin tipped his head but Yeonjun kept talking. “Could you go get Beoms?” he nodded and complied.
Sure enough, when he came back with the younger blond trailing behind him Beomgyu also saw the amount of food and snorted.
“That’s enough for a small army, perfect for you guys.”
Soobin ignored the comment, instead watching as Yeonjun added even more chocolate to a stack of pancakes and then topped it with some freshly whipped cream. He felt his neck warm up a little when the plate was then handed to him.
“How did you…” he trailed off, suddenly he was unable to ignore the fact that he was running on an empty stomach and the pancakes looked beyond perfect to him.
“Beoms is always talking about you so maybe I know a bit too much.” Yeonjun giggled, looking a little shy and making Soobin forget how to think again.
“How come Soobin gets special treatment?” Beomgyu pouted as he poked at his own stack of plain pancakes. Yeonjun had set a small bowl with cut up fruit for him to add as he pleased as well as a smaller bowl with maple syrup but he was ignoring that on purpose for the sake of his little dramatic act.
“Because Soobin-ssi is not a brat that drops honorifics and calls me names unprovoked.”
“He’s not that much better than me. He’s just shy ‘cause you’re here. You know he’s a brat too.” that made Soobin scoff.
“Who says I’m a brat? I’m just matching your energy.”
“You threw a tantrum two days ago over losing a match.”
“Because technically I won but you played dirty!” Beomgyu shot him a cocky look and Soobin felt his eyebrow twitch. “With the way you keep riling me up I think Yeonjun-hyung is on to something. Do you have a crush on me or something?” and now it was Soobin’s turn to look cocky as Beomgyu groaned and let his forehead fall on the dining table not too gently.
“I hate you both.”
Yeonjun laughed, ruffling up Beomgyu’s hair just to make him whine some more.
They managed to have a proper conversation while they ate and Soobin was definitely looking at Yeonjun more than necessary but he couldn’t stop himself. He found out that it did feel like Yeonjun had known him for a while due to how much Beomgyu talked about him but if anything it made him feel even more comfortable around the oldest. It was just a little unfair that he didn’t know much about Yeonjun but he was determined to change that.
As he volunteered to take care of the dishes he noted that Yeonjun had been right, there were no leftovers. He briefly wondered if he could figure out just how much the oldest knew about him.
-
Weekends usually felt like they went by too fast but this time it really felt like he blinked and he was back in his office going through several reports. He learned a lot about Yeonjun and he was pleasantly surprised by how easily they just kind of clicked. They were not very similar but if anything that just made all of their conversation way more interesting.
It was so much fun to hear all of the crazy stories Yeonjun had from his job but it was also so comforting to hear how different his view on some things were. Even though Yeonjun was only a year older it still felt like he was wise beyond his age. Like he had been through several life experiences that most people just wouldn’t understand.
He could barely concentrate on the documents on his computer, still wondering about those small details he had learned about Yeonjun’s private life. It wasn’t much but it made him so curious nonetheless. He was also curious about the few times the oldest had just avoided a topic entirely, so fast and smooth that Soobin could only blink and try to catch up. It was clear there were some things Yeonjun refused to talk about and he could respect that even though a side of him was dying to know.
By the time he was done with work he had already texted Beomgyu to let him know he was coming over. He just really wanted to see Yeonjun again, see what else they could talk about and maybe try to convince the oldest to play a game with them. So he had to admit he did pout when Beomgyu told him Yeonjun had small modeling gig so he would be back late.
“So you just came over for him? Am I not your best friend anymore?” Beomgyu joked but Soobin knew it was a cover up for whatever was actually on his mind.
“Did I do something?” Beomgyu shook his head and stared at Soobin for some long seconds, deeply debating if he should say what was on his mind.
“You’re not even trying to hide it, you obviously like Yeonjun-hyung. He’s really pretty so I can’t blame you. I did have a feeling he was your type.” Beomgyu smiled at him but it was tight and it had Soobin feeling anxious. He didn’t even bother defending himself because it was true, he did like Yeonjun but it was just a silly crush from meeting someone pretty, kind and funny. “Just be careful. Please. He’s my cousin and you’re my best friend. I don’t want to pick sides or see either of you upset.”
Soobin felt some more cold anxiety pooling in his stomach. There was more to that warning, something that he would probably not hear from Beomgyu himself. Something serious enough that the blond would drop all of his usual antics to make sure he got his point across. He could only nod and try to not shrink away.
He would respect that, he was fine with just silently crushing. It should fade away soon enough anyway, and eventually it would become just another silly thing of the past after Yeonjun went back home. Beomgyu crushed on him before and now they were best friends. Why would this be any different?
Except he feels like he’s already failing horribly when Yeonjun comes back right as Soobin was getting ready to leave. He just stayed rooted in his spot, mouth halfway open as he took in Yeonjun’s current state. It was like the cover of a magazine had personified in front of him. The oldest was in full make up, a dark, smudged look with some glitter under his eyes. One side of his hair was gelled back while the other side had been styled to look almost feral. His whole attire was also dark, the top fitting him like a second skin while the pants flowed almost like an elegant, long skirt. He was holding a folded coat and even that was somehow attractive to Soobin.
“Hey, didn’t think I would see you again so soon.” Yeonjun greeted him so casually, like he couldn’t see how Soobin’s brain had just given up. Beomgyu whistled from his spot on the couch and Yeonjun winked at him. “I know, I look amazing. I’m so happy they let me keep this set of clothes. I can’t wait to show you the other looks too.”
Yeonjun walked past Soobin on his way to join Beomgyu and he tried to act normal as the oldest winked at him as well and touched his shoulder in a smooth motion. It was soft, featherlight, as the hand had swiped from his collarbone, to his shoulder and then a bit down his arm before pulling away. Even though it happened fast, barely a few seconds, to Soobin it all happened in slow motion and he knew he would be thinking of that later.
“Want to see the pictures too, Soobin-ah?”
And of course he just nodded and ended up joining them on the couch, heart jumping in his chest as every picture was beyond perfect. All the looks for the shoot had perfectly showcased different sides of Yeonjun and he ended up staring in awe the whole time. It was obvious the oldest was loving the compliments and his reactions and Soobin could only hope he would just brush it off. There was nothing more embarrassing than crushing on someone so hard in his mid twenties and the other person being aware of it too.
“Alright, I need to take these off and shower. I’m exhausted and my back hurts.” Yeonjun stood up and stretched, wincing for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.
“Do you need anything?” Beomgyu was up fast, rubbing circles on Yeonjun’s lower back before being brushed off with a light laugh.
“I’m fine. I just need a long bath and sleep. Want to help me with that?”
“I can draw a bath for you.” he had no idea why he said that when Beomgyu had already offered to help but he was glad he did when Yeonjun shot him a small smile.
“Thanks. I’ll go take these off first.”
Beomgyu looked at him and rolled his eyes the moment they were left alone. It’s in moments like these that he’s very glad Beomgyu’s apartment is ridiculously big because he would have been mortified if Yeonjun could hear them.
“I thought I told you to be careful.”
“I am!”
“By drooling the whole time he was here and rushing to be the one to help him?” Soobin just blinked at him, silent. “You’re both adults so I won’t tell you what to do. Just…forget it.” Beomgyu sighed and stood up. “He tends to act strong a bit too often. He has chronic back pain from a bad injury he had years ago. Make the bath as hot as possible, he’ll appreciate it.”
“Noted.”
He had to admit he was a little annoyed but he was also curious. This didn’t feel like Beomgyu was just trying to prevent some drama. It was definitely something a bit deeper but he had no idea what it could be. For now he just followed the suggestion, he made sure the water was hot enough to steam up the whole bathroom and he brought out the small basket of expensive bath bombs that Beomgyu usually kept hidden.
He also did try to be careful when Yeonjun entered the bathroom only wearing a bathrobe. He did his best to not stare at the exposed smooth skin, the defined collarbones. Why was it tied so loosely?
He at least succeeded at not looking down far enough to find out where the bathrobe ended because seeing Yeonjun’s face light up when he saw the bath bombs was way better.
He failed at being careful once he was back in his own apartment, even as he went through his nighttime routine all he could think about was the older male. As he was finally falling asleep he started wondering about something he didn’t think of before. What was the reason Yeonjun came to Seoul?
-
At some point he was sure being careful wasn’t only on him anymore. He was still stunned and mesmerized by Yeonjun but after seeing him a few times over the past two weeks he had gotten used to acting like he was completely unaffected. So he felt like he was doing a stellar job at being careful even if the older blond plagued his thoughts more often than he’d like.
However it seemed like the warning he got was never even presented to Yeonjun. The older man was a fan of physical affection, he figured that out pretty quickly with how much he hovered around Beomgyu, always looking for any kind of contact. Hugs, hand holding, a hand on the back, playing with his hair, cuddling on the couch, all of those had been reserved for Beomgyu and Soobin was perfectly okay with that.
Except it didn’t stay reserved for Beomgyu. It started with the older blond ruffling his hair, cooing at its soft and fluffy texture. Then it moved on to playing with his hair whenever Soobin was sitting and Yeonjun was standing, always commenting on how soft his virgin hair was.
That led to the current situation, with Soobin just blinking at the TV because the series they had been watching was no longer interesting to him. At the start of the episode it was all three of them on the couch, the blonds at either end and Soobin in the middle. Now Beomgyu had gotten up to grab more snacks and Yeonjun decided that was the perfect moment to just pull Soobin so that his head was on his lap. He went down easy, mostly out of shock but also because it was impossible to not relax with the gentle way Yeonjun always played with his hair.
Beomgyu didn’t say anything when he came back, just took his spot on the other side of the couch that was miraculously big enough that Soobin’s feet barely reached him if he curled up. What he missed was the staring match both blonds held until Beomgyu shook his head with a frown.
With the soft scratching on his scalp, the gentle fingers brushing his hair back and the mindless pattern between both of those, Soobin felt his eyes get heavy and didn’t fight it.
Later he was woken up by Yeonjun’s voice. It was not in his usual tone and a second later he realized the older was on the phone talking in english. At first he didn’t move, liking that subtle difference in Yeonjun’s voice as well as enjoying how smooth his accent sounded even though he didn’t feel like he could judge much of anything in english.
It took him a moment longer to realize Yeonjun was tense and if he payed enough attention he could tell the conversation was not a nice one.
“How many times do I have to tell you I didn’t take any of your things when I moved?” the person on the line seemed rather upset, it was a sharp voice, a woman. “I don’t see why you would have any right to go through my things when I’m not there. There’s no spare key so just give up.” Soobin winced when he heard the woman’s tone go even higher in pitch, it was definitely way worse for Yeonjun. “I’m in South Korea! I don’t need to show you proof!”
Soobin took that as his cue to get up, moving slowly as to not startle the older while he sat up.
“Shit, sorry about that.” Yeonjun held his forearm before Soobin could even think of standing up. “I’m done fighting with you.” and with that the call seemed to have ended and he watched as Yeonjun sent a quick message to someone before placing his phone not too gently on the coffee table. “Sorry you had to hear that.” the hand on his forearm pulled away and he tried to ignore how he wanted to hold his hand instead.
“It’s okay. My english is horrible so I didn’t understand any of it.” Yeonjun refused to look at him, instead looking at the phone like it was still offending him. “I lied. I did understand shit and Korea.” at least that made the older snort.
Soobin took a look around the living room and saw that Beomgyu was nowhere to be found and the TV had been muted but there was a movie playing instead of the series they had been watching before. The sun had also set so the nap had been longer than he imagined. He briefly wondered if Yeonjun was okay after just sitting there for so long.
“I can run away to the other side of the world but I still can’t run away from my problems.” Soobin looked at him again and didn’t like the frown on his face. Yeonjun looked upset, like he was stuck between wanting to scream and wanting to cry.
“What did you run away from?” maybe it wasn’t the most sensitive thing to ask but he couldn’t help it. Maybe venting and letting it all out would help. Maybe it was his curiosity getting the best of him. Or maybe it would just confuse Yeonjun but at least the upset look was wiped from his face for now.
“Beomgyu didn’t tell you?” Soobin shook his head. “I should give him more credit.”
“You don’t have to tell me.” he was quick to clarify when Yeonjun seemed to hesitate.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind telling you. It’s only been a few weeks but it feels like I’ve known you for so much longer. I do wish I could have kept the cool hyung image going for a bit longer.”
“You’re still going to be the cool hyung. I really don’t think that can be changed.” Yeonjun gave him a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“I hope you’re right. I’ll be right back.”
Soobin nodded and watched as Yeonjun stood and stretched, letting out a deep breath that probably helped him mentally prepare as well. The blond went to his room and he was back out barely a minute later, a small jewelry box in hand.
“I’ve made several dumb decisions but this has to be the worst one.” Yeonjun opened the little box and the contents were expected but not any less shocking. It was a set of rings, white gold adorned delicately with white diamonds. The main difference between them being the smaller ring had more diamonds and a flower made up of deep red rubies in the middle. “Would you believe me if I told you I proposed to my ex and then I broke up with her a few months later?”
Soobin really didn’t know what to say. There were too many things to take in at once. The rings were so beautiful, clearly something that was carefully thought out and wasn’t cheap at all. Yeonjun had been in a committed relationship and the break up was definitely very recent. Yeonjun had been in a committed relationship with a woman. The same Yeonjun he had assumed to be gay because he could have sworn the subtle flirting had been mutual.
“At the time I thought ‘maybe all she needs is to see I’m serious about this’ so I proposed even though I didn’t think I was ready for that. We had been together for five years, had been living together for a year. I thought that the reason she had become so different was because she thought I was taking too long to tie the knot. That the fights and mistrust would stop if I proved I loved her and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.
And I thought it worked. She was so happy, the happiest I had seen her in months. Everything did seem to get better except I realized that maybe her assumptions had been right. The moment we started talking about the wedding the fights started again. She kept making an argument out of everything. Any changes in the decor on our place, the way I dressed, the…” Yeonjun trailed off and he kept blinking and looking up.
Soobin reached out to him, placing a hand on top of his and smiling when Yeonjun immediately held his hand.
“She kept accusing me of using her to ‘be a man’. Whenever I did anything less than ‘manly’ she would make a huge deal out of it. If I didn’t want to have sex with her then she would start yelling and accusing me of sleeping with my best friend. Until I just snapped. I realized maybe she was right.”
“Hyung-” Yeonjun shook his head.
“She was at least right on some things. I definitely didn’t love her the same anymore and I still proposed so maybe I did stay with her because it was easier. I also did end up cheating on her out of spite. I called one of the models that had been begging to fuck me for weeks and I don’t regret that. He treated me way better than her, I can say that much.
That was the breaking point for me, being a cheater feels like shit if I’m honest. I broke up with her right after and we had the worst fight yet. She threw the ring at me and yelled until I threatened to call the police.” Yeonjun laughed but it was purely self deprecating. “The last thing she said to me that day was ‘I should have known better than to date a bisexual whore’.” those words seemed to break the dam, tears quickly flowing down Yeonjun’s face. Soobin didn’t think twice before pulling him closer, letting the blond hide his face in the crook of his neck. Running his fingers through his hair just like the older usually did for him.
“She was wrong, hyung. Even if you did make mistakes none of it justifies her behavior.” he could feel as much as he heard Yeonjun sob, it was heartbreaking. “No one is perfect but you deserve someone way better than that.”
Yeonjun clung to him tightly, holding on to his shirt as if his life depended on it. He had been so focused on being strong for the blond that he completely forgot they were not alone in the apartment and he didn’t notice the door to Beomgyu’s room opened at some point. The younger blond shot him a worried look and gestured with a thumbs up in a silent question. He nodded with a forced smile that he knew would make his dimple pop out and that seemed to be enough for Beomgyu to go back inside his room, closing the door without a sound.
After that he lost track of how long he sat there holding Yeonjun. Even after the sobs stopped he still didn’t pull away, instead he moved just enough for them to get in a more comfortable position. They stayed in silence for long enough that Soobin started wondering if Yeonjun had fallen asleep. He was almost disappointed when he found out the blond was awake as he sat up to wipe his face.
“Thank you and sorry for being such a mess.” Soobin shook his head.
“I’m here whenever you need me. You don’t have to apologize. If anything, I want to thank you for trusting me.”
“Can I ask for one more favor?” Soobin nodded right away. “Please don’t tell Beomgyu.” Soobin couldn’t help the way his eyes widened.
“But I thought- you said-”
“He knows I had a fiance and that I broke it off. He doesn’t know the details.” Soobin exhaled a silent ‘oh’. “I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to burden him with that mess but I ended up dumping that burden on you instead.”
“It’s okay, hyung. Isn’t it easier if we share the burden anyways?” Yeonjun smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You know, you’re still a cool hyung in my eyes. You did the best you could. Made a mistake, owned up to it instead of lying and took the decision to step away. Very cool.” he gave Yeonjun a thumbs up and he was well aware of his thick accent but it was worth it when it earned him a giggle. “I promise I won’t tell Beomgyu and I’ll keep my strong and cool hyung to myself.” Yeonjun laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm.
“Thank you, really. I didn’t realize how much I needed to let that out.” he smacked Soobin again. “Or how much I needed your silly dimples, cutie.”
With that Soobin was left alone on the couch, his neck feeling way too warm as he watched Yeonjun go to Beomgyu’s room.
Now that he knew the reason Yeonjun came to Seoul he could understand way more clearly Beomgyu’s warning. He respected it before but now he had newfound determination to just be a reliable and supportive friend. The weight of the whole situation was impossible to ignore now, it was complicated and delicate to a degree that he was better off not messing with. His crush would have to stay as just that but he was fine with it.
Seeing Yeonjun’s smile and hearing his laugh was the most rewarding thing he had experienced in years and that would suffice.