Chapter Text
"i kinda need something to focus so that i can clear my thoughts for a bit. This is stressing me out so much and I dont know how to get rid of it, Phi Aof".
Phi Aof certainly looked concern towards the handsome voice who sounded so tired and distressed. Closing his eyes shut tight as if he was in the middle of battling for wars, struggling to come around.
Its been several minutes since the LOLFanfest2024 poster shooting started and its not yet JimmySea's turn.
The older who was complaining earlier sat quite far from the younger who was quietly watching his hia in their room. He didnt know why Jimmy sat so far from him because usually, no one can even seperate them apart.
Sticking like a glue was their nickname in fact. Its a well known nickname of them around GMMTV building.
Phi Aof softly patted Jimmy's muscular bicep and slowly asked him if he wanted to talk about what bothers him.
Jimmy opened his eyes and lifted his head, responding to Phi Aof's favor.
While smiling weakly, he shaked his head, stood up and went outside the room,without sparing a glance toward Sea who was nervously staring at his hia until he disappear from his sight.
"Hi-"
Sea stopped middleway. Hes afraid to chase after the older. He didnt know why he couldnt this time. His feet wont move at all.
"Hia..."
Phi Aof, whose the only one left in the room, rushed to the younger who looked like he was about to burst in tears.
"Sea..."
"Again. Hia dont even look at me, Phi. It hurts so much. I cant stand this anymore Phi Aof".
Sea was crying while hugging Phi Aof. Phi Aof cant help but coaxing the younger like this.
Yes, like this scene was being repeated for several times now. Jimmy and Sea didnt speak to each other for almost a month now and Sea didnt even know what he did to make Hia avoid him.
Its only a month but Sea was already crying so much because of Jimmy's blatant ignorance off screen.
Their issue has been known to many, even Phi Tha knew about it. Because of that, Jimmy was once being summoned to the CEO's office n no one knew the outcome.
Jimmy only promised that he will be professional on screen with Sea as their contract sealed.
Little by little, Jimmy began to be cold hearted and avoid many things, including Hia gangs.
Not that other artists avoided him but he himself shutting down everyone else, including his partner.
Sea began to live in stressful days as each day passed. Jimmy's sudden changes shocked him so much and it had some negative impact on himself.
However, Jimmy was still professional n he was so good at being lively on screen.
Hes not Doctor Jimmy that people know nowadays.
Jimmy has changed.
What reason hes becoming like this?
---
Sea rushed to the CEO's office after getting notified by GMMTV admin about the future of him n his hia.
Sea ran as much as he could because he was so scared that Phi Tha might will break them apart.
He didnt want to break. He didnt want to be seperated. He didnt like the idea of his Hia getting paired with someone else. He hates the idea of his hia belongs to someone else. He didnt want people to take his hia from him although they're not like they used to be now.
He realised long ago that he has feelings for Jimmy. Theres no turn back now.
Hia is mine!
Sea barged in, looked like a mix of furious and terrified. He didnt even bother to look around bcause his eyes only searched for his crush.
"I dont want to break with Hia!"
Loud and clear, throughout the big office room, everyone in there heard Sea's declaration.
Jimmy who was there, finally looked at Sea with a shocking face.
The younger ignored everyone else including Phi Tha and Phi Aof and went straight to Jimmy who was standing beside the coffee table, looking troubled.
With the flowing tears, Sea suddenly punched Jimmy in the face, enough for the older to reflectively turned his face to his side.
Silence was now everyone's companions.
No one was brave enough to raise a voice. Only Sea's cries was being heard in the room.
Sea was angry, furiously angry that he just punched the last person he will smack.
His heart hurt severely that he cant think rationally.
Seeing his hia gave away such troubling face ignited more smoke above his fiery heart.
He cant let this slip anymore. It has to be now or he will lose hia any moment.
Its what his heart said.
Jimmy's shirt collar was being grabbed roughly and being pulled toward the younger's face, just a several millimeters away.
Jimmy looked more troubled than ever, it ticked Sea's final blow.
"Im not gonna be nice to you. I had enough of your stupid game, Hia. The fuck are you playing at huh? Does all this avoiding stuff made you a champ? How are u being a champ if all u do to me was being a bastard??? Im talking to you!"
Sea pulled Jimmy's face more toward his face because he could feel that his hia tried to pushed away.
"Try to run away from me again and I will really lock you up in my place! I will tie you so that you can never escape from me. Hows that sound Hia??"
Jimmy slowly gave up resisting.
However, the younger were very much tightened his arm lock around the neck which made the older began to suffocate.
It concerned everyone else n they tried to stop Sea from doing so but Sea gave a death glare which enough to stop everyone from approaching them.
After several seconds, his dark eyes were back to glare at Jimmy's sad stares.
It shooked nong's heart.
"Tell me, Hia. Is it good to make fun of my feelings? Is it so good to make me suffer like this? You do know i also could become evil if someone were to mess with me right? I am a man too if you forgot".
Jimmy's long eyelashes fluttered, signaling that he didnt want Sea to get heated up than he was now.
Not that he's scared, but he was worried that Sea will be burnt out after this.
Jimmy's silence made Sea loses his patience.
He pushed the older to the wall and locked his arms around the older's head n neck; never to escape.
"Answer the damn question you bastard! Dont you hear what i said?"
Jimmy nodded slightly.
In his eyes, Sea was so pretty. He love the man in front of him. He love the voice who spoke unruled things towards him just now. He love how his nong touched him like they were now. If it means he could be hurt by that, he's willingly accept the pain with all his heart.
After all, hes the reason why his nong being this mad, isnt it?
Sea's heart beats fast when he sensed the loving gaze coming from the older's eyes.
Its so disturbing but at the same time he cant look away. He's being succumbed to Jimmy's dark gaze.He missed that stares. He love his hia too much that he easily gave in to those 'sweet gesture' of jimmy towards him.
Sea began to let loose his grip.
"Hia..."
Seductive, and full of desperation; wanting Jimmy to come back to him fully. He knew it would work on the older.
Nong is calling me... Jimmy whispered in his heart.
Nong's hands moved to cup Jimmy's blank face.
"Come back to me, please. Dont do this to me. Im begging you, hia... Im going insane because you're avoiding me. I cant live without your touch. I cant survive without having you beside me... Dont leave me.. If you want to lose your sanity, then bring me along, Hia".
Jimmy's eyes becomes darker as Sea became more desperate. The eyes changed and Sea knew it.
It made him smile a little bit. A smile of evil.
"If Hia want to quit this job, ill quit too. If Hia want to leave this place, ill go along too. If Hia want to go somewhere far, take me with you. Anywhere, tie me with you. I'll go whenever you want to. Just please dont ever leave me behind again. I will never allow us to drift apart. I'll make sure that you will be mine n mine alone for the rest of your life".
Sea was very firm with his confession.
Jimmy who was not once opened his lips for words, suddenly turned toward both Phi Tha n Phi Aof who was already giggling hard like a fanboys did.
"Phi Tha. Phi Aof. Im sorry. I cant do this anymore. I want to put an end to all of this".
"HIA!!!"
But just before Sea wanted to do something to Jimmy, Jimmy made the first move by kissing the younger.
He sucked the other as if he was in the middle of devouring his prey. His tongue dominantly licking every crooks n corner of Sea's inside.The kiss sound was so sexy that Sea became fully aware about everything.
He began to loose strength n Jimmy has to support the weight.
Sea was gone, mindlessly n heartlessly.
After seeing how worse Sea's condition was, Jimmy finally let the swollen lips go.
Jimmy gazed close to Sea's red face. Red ears n red nape. Its all very adorable in his eyes.
Jimmy's lip carved a smile. A devilish smile that Sea love the most. Its a smile that Hia wants him.
Jimmy even finished his move by licking his lips, conveyed that he was satisfied.
The younger cant help but clinging onto Jimmy's broad shoulders, feeling too weak to his core.
"This little shit is now belongs to me. He can never escape me after this".
Looks like those words of territory possesions were being told towards both Phis but the older's eyes was still gazing onto Sea.
Sea's heart bursted with rapid heartbeat he thought he could die anytime.
Jimmy then properly stood up and helping Sea who was still in dazed.
Jimmy bow 90 degree to both Phi Tha and Phi Aof.
"Im sorry but I will stop my acting here".
Sea confusingly taking turns looking between Jimmy and the older folks who was smiling to the ears.
"Tha. Just let them be..." said Phi Aof.
"Huh?"
Sea was indeed lost.
Phi Tha reached toward Sea and grabbed his shoulder.
"Jimmy will explain everything for you Sea. Go and have a heart to heart talk with him".
Sea turned to Jimmy who was wearing guilty expression on his face, only to realised that this was all, an act.
"You deserve to be mad. Be angry. If you want, punch him hard. Jimmy will be fine. But please just hear him out for a bit ok? He have reason why he had to act this all".
Its Phi Aof's turn to fill in.
Sea was dumbfounded.
He thought he was dreaming but thats not it because his heart palpitating so fast right now.
Jimmy carefully tugged Sea's shirt, signaling to follow him somewhere.
"...."
Sea was all kinds of emotions right now. Angry, happy, disappointed, relieve, wanted to cry and confuse, its all in his emotions.
Jimmy brought his nong with their fingers entwined to the rooftop of gmmtv building with Phi Tha's permission.
Along their walk to the rooftop, not one voiced something out. They both very silent, as if they fear if they said something out of blue, its over for them both.
Sea was lost in thoughts n busily sorting out his emotions while Jimmy only think about how to expose every secret he kept from his crush.
"...Sea".
They stopped at the hallway. The hallway was eerie but they both didnt care about that.
Jimmy tightened his grip.
"My secret. It will hurt u badly. Im already a sinner but i did all this for you".
Sea didnt say anything. He need to hear more.
Steadily, they climbed the stair to rooftop.
Jimmy locked the door of the rooftop, and let go of nong's hand but Sea griped it tighter; never let him go.
Jimmy looked at their entwined hands, feeling more guilty.
Sea slowly lifted Jimmy's face and brushed that cheek. Its so lovingly soft that Sea wanted to forget those sins his Hia commited although he didnt yet to know what it was.
"Before that, can I ask one thing, Hia?" Asked Sea.
Sea didnt wait for other's response. He close the gap between them both. They could hear each other's breathe clearly.
Sea's unwavering eyes only looked into Hia's dark eyes. Nothing else matter for him.
"Hia. Do you love me the way i do for you?".
Jimmy let out a huge sigh before he embraced the younger tightly and kissed him like hes the whole world to him.
A kiss of confirmation that Jimmy only love Sea n Sea accepted the deed.
Several minutes later, Jimmy let the younger go. A string of saliva was connected between their swollen lips.
"... Need more to prove, nong?".
With an evil smile, Sea licked Jimmy's nose. "Every second, Hia...".
Jimmy laughed for a bit, before getting back to serious.
"Well... you cant get that after this". Said Jimmy while smiling weakly.
The younger suddenly pushed Jimmy towards the bench and climbed up his beloved.
Jimmy was shocked for that movement.
"Make me. Even if you run away to the deepest corner in this earth, i will chase after you. Dare me then".
Jimmy was in awe by Sea's brazen force. He didnt know Sea could be this possessive. Sure, a devil can make a man evil. But Sea was not cut out for this kind of personality.
...I changed him this much. I feel so bad...
"I... I killed someone for you".
A moment of silence before Sea asked him to continue.
"You see... its a stalker of yours. The one who always follows you and gave u strange gifts n stuffs. That guy...".
Jimmy didnt dare to look at Sea so he continued.
"He ticked me off so bad that I accidentally had an arguments with him one night. That time I just arrived to your house party. The reason why I leave so fast that time bcause I chased after him".
He stopped for a bit to check Sea but his heart beat suddenly raised up bcause of Sea's evil smirk.
"... continue, Hia".
Jimmy felt a bit strange seeing Sea like this but he continued anyway.
"Well.. I didnt have that intention to kill. I only want to warn him n then go back to ur place but he triggered me with 'I will kill you first and then take you with him'. I know its nothing much but I realised later that I stabbed him with his own knife. I dont know how that happen. So i disposed his body to the river. Everything. I get rid of every evidence.."
Jimmy closed his eyes, thinking back what he did that time was truly effecting him.
While Jimmy was busy treating his emotions, Sea leaned closer.
He was smiling happily. Happier than he showed on screen. He reached towards Jimmy's ears and whispered,
"Then, do you regret it?".
Jimmy turned to Sea, only to see that his nong smiled so wide.
Huh? Jimmy cant fathomed the meaning of that terrifying smile Sea beamed.
"Do you have any reason why ure smiling like this?".
Sea smiled wider.
"If you regret it, ill have my way with you. So, choose your words carefully, Hia...".
Jimmy felt like something didnt add up here. He just confessed his darkest sin to the last person he didnt want to know but instead of some hurtful glares or harsh treatment, Sea was giving him heaven in hell for him. The younger didnt even get suprised about it either.
He felt like Sea also hide something from him.
"Whys the long face Hia? Curious of why I didnt find your secret... shocking? Because i am smiling so much from your doing? Heh...".
Jimmy seriously glared, simply confused by nong's words.
Sea was combining Jimmy's bangs to the back with his fingers, ready to drop his final bomb that will surely gonna make Jimmy his forever.
"I was the one who planned those murder for you, Hia".
Jimmy widened his eyes, shocked.
"Its so hard to get you to open ur heart. You didnt expressed ur feelings well to me. You will never gonna realise my feelings for you because ure too scared to hurt me. You dont want to hurt yourself too. For almost 2 months that i planned this. I hired that so called stalker to rile you up. I pay high to him to make u jealous. I did everything i could to make u realised that ure in love with me too. But i didnt expect for you to kill that guy that night. I just finished your work by working with many connection to erase that guy's existence completely so that no one knew hes missing".
Jimmy was lost for words. He cant believe that his nong was this evil. Only because he wanted him, he went as far as to plan a disturbing scene just to make him jealous.
Jimmy tried to pushed Sea away but Sea had it coming so he rushed to embraced Jimmy in an unbreakable handlock.
"Sea. Let me go".
"Never. And I havent finish talking yet".
Jimmy finally felt terrified. Now he thought that him killing people wasnt scary than whats served in front of him now.
He was scared.
"I thought you will come to me and cried to me n told me about u killing people. But what do i get in return? ONE MONTH, hia. You ignored me, avoid me, brush me off like Im not exist in ur eyes, and shutting down everyone else like you're gonna die soon. I really dont see that coming so I was stressing myself too much everyday. See? What happen if you make me fall for you like this? Youre the reason im becoming this evil, Hia. Everything you do for me, I will do anything for you too".
Jimmy surrendered.
He forgot that Sea Tawinan is basically an introvert. If an introvert love someone so bad, they will do anything to make someone theirs.
Jimmy curved his corner of his lips and looked at Sea from beneath.
His hands were crawling under Sea's shirts and moan sounds escaped from Sea's lips.
Its intentional. He wanted to be touched like this for a long time.
"Hia... im a sinner too. Can we both escape from here, far from all this, n live just the two of us somewhere far away? I dont care about anything else. I only want you".
...Nong is asking me to choose him above everything. He only wants me.
This little devil is what i need in my life. I dont need anything else then.
Jimmy smacked his lips againts the younger n smiled sweetly, enough for Sea to understand.
"My devil. Forever will be mine...".
Sea was so happy that he cried.
They embraced each other all night long on the rooftop. Never apart from each other. Sea always made sure that his skin felt Hia's against him all the time. Sometimes their moans could be heard from the moon and stars too.
They made love with all their heart. Jimmy made sure not to hurt his beloved too much but he knew too well he cant be gentle all the time. His little devil beneath him here really made his switch flipped.
But Sea want his lover to hurt him more so that Hia will never ever leave him. These scars n wounds they gave each other will be their seal to be together forever.
Hia is finally mine. Only mine. No one can have him.
Nong is mine now. I can finally have my sanity back.
---
"Its been two years since the disappearance of Jimmy Jitaraphol and Sea Tawinan. Many people including their family and friends, even fans still looking for them. What happen back there when they last seen in gmm building? We hope all community could help us find them both to safety".
"Give my jimmy backkkkkk".
"Where is sea???"
Suddenly, the tv was shuted off.
A man lowered his body and hugged the one who watched the tv from behind lovingly.
"Hmm... still missing your old days Hia?".
Jimmy shaked his head.
"Happen to appear out of the blue".
"Good. I dont know what to do if you wanted to go back to them. I might lose my sanity again".
Jimmy's grip onto Sea's hands became tighter.
"Dont worry too much. Hia will never be apart from my litle devil".
"Yeah. I wish to keep the rest of my sanity for a bit longer. Dont ever leave me Hia. I love you too much".
Sea kissed Jimmy's head several times.
The older smiled to his ears.
Yep. Sea is the only thing he need to be happy. Awakening such terrifying feelings two years ago do make him aware on how crazy it is to be in love.
"Till death do us apart".
----- end