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“How’s your dorm?” Seungkwan asks Vernon after they meet up a couple of days after moving to university.
“It’s fine. My roommate’s nice.”
“Are you keeping tidy?” Seungkwan asks. Vernon smiles. She’s still the same naggy Seungkwan. Vernon wouldn’t want it any other way.
“No. But Seokmin’s messy too, so it doesn’t matter.”
Seungkwan heaves a dramatic sigh. “At least you’re not bothering anyone.”
“Anyway, what about you? How’s your dorm?”
“It’s nice. We have a really good view, and it’s actually pretty spacious.”
“I’m sensing that a ‘but’ is coming…” Vernon says.
Seungkwan rolls her eyes. “It’s my roommate! It’s only been a couple of days, but I already can’t stand her!”
“What? Why?”
“She’s always playing her awful music and stretching in the middle of the dorm room floor. And she breathes too loud!”
“She breathes too loud?”
“Yes!”
“Kwannie, I think you may just need to suck it up this time.”
“I know,” Seungkwan sighs. “But I don’t want to.”
“Give her a chance, it might be fine.”
“I will. If you’re done lecturing me, is it time to study?”
“I’m not used to being on this side of the interaction,” Vernon laughs.
“Don’t get too comfortable.”
---
As the semester progresses, Seungkwan and Vernon don’t get to see each other that much. While in high school, they took multiple classes together, travelled to and from school together hung out almost every weekend. But now, with different majors and dorms on opposite sides of campus, and busy schedules that aren’t designed to match up, they’re lucky if they see each other once a week.
Vernon misses Seungkwan, but it’s also such a new and exciting time in his life, that he’s able to push that to the back of his mind. He’s having so much fun with the radio station he joined and the group of other sport medicine majors he’s met that it’s easy to get swept up in it.
Seungkwan’s having fun too. She joined the badminton team and the choir and seems to be having tons of fun with her elementary education classes. So, they’re happy.
---
“Chan’s getting on my nerves again,” is Seungkwan’s version of a hello when they hang out.
“What’s she done this time?” Vernon asks. He finds these stories of Chan fascinating; there’s always something interesting going on.
“Well, we went out for dinner last night, and the waiter was flirting with her! And she didn’t even care. And when I told her, she said that didn’t notice!”
“What’s annoying about that?”
“She’s being fake humble! Of course she noticed!”
“Totally annoying,” Vernon says. He’s found that it’s best to nod along and not question why, if Chan is so annoying, Seungkwan voluntarily spends a lot of time with her. It’s very perplexing.
And the reasons that she’s annoying are always such odd things. Personally, Vernon thinks that Seungkwan is actually friends with Chan, but that Seungkwan is just too embarrassed to admit it. Why, Vernon will never know.
The complaints continue, until Vernon builds up a very clear picture of Chan in his mind. The complaints include:
- Going to sleep too early (even though Seungkwan was complaining that Chan was studying too hard and wasn’t taking proper care of herself.)
- Going to sleep too late.
- Working out too much.
- Not liking the Wonder Girls.
- Listening to bad music in general.
- Not eating healthily enough.
There are more, but they tend to all blend into one cacophony of Seungkwan just not liking her, so Vernon doesn’t think remembering the specifics is important.
This doesn’t really give Vernon a negative opinion of Chan, though. Seungkwan can be dramatic and a living situation can be tense, so Vernon chalks her strong feelings up to that, rather than Chan being an inherently bad person.
And many of Seungkwan’s complaints seem to come from a place of caring, not necessarily annoyance, so Vernon thinks that Chan can’t be that bad.
---
Vernon and Chan don’t meet until the second semester. Vernon is surprised it took so long; Seungkwan met his roommate Seokmin in the first week of school. But Seungkwan is always running all over the place so they don’t tend to go to her dorm too much so Vernon supposes that it makes sense.
They meet when Vernon goes to Seungkwan’s dorm for dinner. He grabs his food and sits down at the table in the dining hall that Seungkwan is already occupying with one other person.
“Are you sure you’ve eaten enough?” Seungkwan asks.
“Yes, oh my gosh. Are you my mother?”
“Sorry that I care!”
“Whatever, I’m gonna go.”
Mystery girl then turns to face Vernon. Vernon’s heart almost jumps out of his chest. She might be the most beautiful person Vernon has ever encountered. She’s short, but looks strong, and has her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She’s wearing a hoodie and looks extremely comfortable; Vernon is a little jealous.
“Sorry, you must be Vernon, I’m Chan. It’s nice to meet you.”
Vernon wills himself to relax. “Nice to meet you too, finally. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“I would say that I hope it’s all good things, but I know it won’t have been.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve learnt to take Seungkwan’s complaints with a grain of salt.”
“Hey!” Seungkwan complains, and it’s only then that Vernon remembers that she’s still here.
“Anyway, I have to run. Have a nice dinner,” Chan says.
“See you around,” Vernon says.
“See ya.”
Vernon watches her walk away. He can’t help himself.
“Stop staring at her, you perv,” Seungkwan says.
“What?”
“Stop. You know.” Seungkwan slumps in her seat. “Just another reason to hate her.”
“Hey, you don’t hate her.”
“Whatever.” Vernon knows he’s right. “I’m going to make one thing clear. You cannot have a crush on her. She already annoys me enough without her stealing my best friend as well.”
Vernon ignores her.
---
It seems like that first meeting broke the floodgates, because Vernon keeps seeing Chan afterwards.
The first time it happens is at a party for his roommate’s frat. He was asked to come along and after a long week, Vernon knew it was exactly what he needed. He’s usually not much of a partier, but stranger things have happened.
He sees Chan in the kitchen. She’s sitting on the counter, chatting to a guy who’s got his hand resting on her thigh. Vernon smiles at Chan in greeting, and Chan smiles back but they don’t say anything after that.
The next time is at the library. Vernon is searching for a seat, and the only available one that he can find happens to be at a large table across from Chan.
He whispers a quick “hi,” to her, which she returns, but they don’t chat any further.
She is distracting though; Vernon keeps wanting to look up from his books to take glances at her.
The third time is at a café. Vernon is grabbing a coffee for himself and Seungkwan, and Chan is in front of him in line.
Chan orders, and then Vernon orders and they go and wait off to the side.
“How are you?” Chan asks. Vernon is so glad that she broke the ice.
“I’m good. A bit busy, but who isn’t. How are you?”
“Busy,” Chan laughs.
“Are you going back home for break?” Vernon asks.
“I am! I’m going to go and help at my home dance studio for a bit. I’m really excited.”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” Vernon says.
“Are you?”
“I am. I’m gonna hang out with my sister. She’s almost at the age where she’s too cool to have an older brother so I have to make the most of it before then.”
“My brother is way past that; he barely even grunts at me these days.”
Their conversation gets interrupted when Chan’s name is called out by the barista.
Chan goes up to grab her coffee. “I’ll see you around.”
“See ya,” Vernon replies.
And it keeps continuing. They see each other all the time; but never for long. They either give each other small greetings, or have a quick conversation; it’s never anything more than that.
That doesn’t stop the butterflies in Vernon’s stomach from transforming into a full-blown crush.
He thinks about Chan all the time. He gets excited to go to places where he’s seen her before, or he might see her.
He plans out hypothetical dates for the, and thinks about showing her his favourite movies. Is she a movie person? Or more of a TV person? Vernon really wants to find out.
It’s intense.
But Vernon doesn’t ask her out. Her can’t go that far.
The only person he shares any of this to is Seokmin who thinks its hilarious.
“You’re such a simp,” he says, after he’s caught Vernon staring off into space for the third time that day.
“So what?” Vernon retorts. Seokmin isn’t wrong, so he might as well as just own it.
---
The longer this goes on, the harder it is to talk to Chan when he sees her.
He gets choked up. He must look like such a loser.
So, Vernon starts trying to avoid her.
It’s not hard, and he doesn’t think that Chan will notice. They spent a whole semester not seeing each other at all, so it’s not like it’s out of the ordinary.
He avoids the coffee shop that he knows she likes, and the library because it’s Chan’s favourite place to study. He refuses any invitation to go to Seungkwan’s dorm, of course.
It’s fine. Vernon misses her and doesn’t find himself thinking about her any less, but it’s fine.
Until she messages him.
It’s an Instagram DM. They’d becomes mutuals a couple of months ago, and Vernon had spent many a late-night scrolling through her dance videos and other cute photos of her.
Feat.chan: Hey, it’s been a while 😊
Feat.chan: How are you?
Vernon panics. He can’t ignore her; there’s no plausible deniability online.
He has to be cool.
Vernonline: It has been a while. I’m good, but very busy. How are you?
Feat.chan: I’m good too 😊
Feat.chan: If you’re not too busy this weekend you should come to Joshua’s party. He mentioned you’d been invited.
Vernon had been invited, but was planning on not going because he figured that Chan would be invited too. He was right, but now he feels like he has to attend. He did kind of want to, but now he has to.
Vernonline: I wasn’t sure, but if you’ll be there, then I’ll go 😊
He presses send and then immediately cringes. Why would he say that? He’s supposed to be acting indifferent.
Fuck.
Feat.chan: Yay! See you then 😊
Well, Vernon’s failed his plan.
Vernon does end up going to Joshua’s party. He’d told Chan he would, so he will. He wants her to think he’s a reliable person.
Plus, maybe drinking will give him the courage to ask her out. He doubts it at this point, but it is possible.
That all goes out the window as soon as he sees her. She’s curled her hair and looks so pretty Vernon almost can’t tear his eyes away. How is he supposed to be normal in front of her?
Luckily, she doesn’t come over to him. Instead, she gives him a wave and a cute smile across the room, which Vernon attempts to return casually.
Later in the evening, they bump into each other in the hallway.
“I’m so glad you made it!” Chan says. “You must be really busy, it’s been so long!”
“Yeah, uni, you know,” Vernon says.
“I definitely do.”
They stand in awkward silence for a moment, and then Chan starts speaking again. “You know, I was kind of thinking that it would be cool if we…” but she’s cut off by one of her friends bumping into her and dragging her back to the main room.
It would be cool if they did what?
Vernon feels like he’s going to scream.
He doesn’t see Chan for the rest of the evening.
He stays way later at the party than he usually would, with the hope that he’ll get to talk to Chan again and she’ll finish her sentence this time.
He hopes that she was going to say that it would be cool if they hung out. Or maybe that it would be cool if they went on a date. He can’t let himself think that, though; it’s just a set up for disappointment.
They don’t talk again, and Vernon leaves with the final stragglers at 3AM.
He likes Chan too much.
---
When he wakes up the next morning (or, afternoon, more accurately), the first thing Vernon thinks about is texting Chan. He wants to ask her what she was going to say. He can’t ever let this go.
He doesn’t do it though; the last thing he wants to do is come across as a weirdo, so instead he goes about his day like he isn’t a loser with the biggest crush in the entire universe.
At 4PM, though, he gets a text.
Feat.Chan: Hey, how are you?
She’s so normal. How can she be normal?
Vernonline: Hungover haha. What about you?
Feat.Chan: I’m a bit the same.
Feat.Chan: We didn’t get to finish our conversation last night.
Vernon’s heart leaps into his throat.
Vernonline: Oh yeah. Were you going to ask me something?
Feat.Chan: Haha I was going to say that we should go on a date.
Vernon freezes. He can’t believe this.
He sits and stares at the words on his screen. Lee Chan wants to go on a date with him. He wants to scream.
Feat.Chan: Omg I am so sorry. I’ve made this totally weird.
Feat.Chan: just forget I said anything.
Vernonline: NO
Vernonline: Sorry
Vernonline: I just had to process. A date sounds really nice.
Feat.Chan: Really?
Vernonline: Totally. I was kinda hoping you’d ask.
Feat.Chan: Okay cool!
They hash out plans to go to a café in their area in a few days. Vernon feels like he’s going to shake out of his skin.
---
On the day of the date, Vernon puts on his nicest pair of jeans, his newest white t-shirt and an unbuttoned shirt over the top. He resists the urge to put on a beanie (he knows what Seungkwan would say about that) and he styles his hair for the first time in a long time. He hopes his outfit looks put-together, but not too over-dressed. Ideally, the look would scream boyfriend.
He heads out early, so that he can make sure that he’s punctual and so he can snag a table.
The weather is beautiful, and Vernon thinks that he and Chan could take a walk to the park later, if the date is going well.
Vernon gets there 10 minutes early and decides not to order. He doesn’t want to guess what Chan wants. This is a first date; the point is to learn about her. He can start ordering coffee for her once he knows what she likes.
Chan shows up right on time. She looks particularly pretty, in a pink top and some loose white trousers. Vernon has to wipe his hands on his jeans.
“Hi,” Vernon says. He doesn’t know why all other words have suddenly escaped him.
“Hi, how are you?” Chan says.
“I’m good, you?”
“Really good. Do you want to go order?”
Vernon nods and they walk up to the counter.
“Were you waiting long?” Chan asks.
“No, not at all. Besides, you’re right on time. I just came slightly early.”
Chan smiles and then it’s their turn to order.
When they get back to their table, Vernon contemplates pulling her chair out, but he’s holding his slice of cake. Before he can put it down and then help, she’s already done it herself.
Vernon mentally slaps himself, but maybe it was a good thing. He doesn’t know if that would impress Chan or not. It might seem like a bit much.
“It’s weird, just us hanging out together. We’ve never done this before.”
“I know, it’s really different. I hope it’s not a bad weird.”
“No, not at all.” Chan takes a bite of her cake. “I did ask you out, remember.”
“You did,” Vernon laughs at himself. He really needs to relax. “How’s your philosophy class going? I know you were struggling with one of your assignments.”
It gets easier after that. Chan is a good listener and they get on really well. Vernon just needs to get out of his head.
By the time they finish talking and are ready to leave the café, the weather has turned and going to the park no longer seems like an option.
“I was thinking that we could go on a walk, but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Vernon says.
“That’s okay,” Chan replies. “Next time.”
Vernon is shocked by her sudden statement, and can’t hold back the massive smile that grows on his face. “Okay.”
Chan laughs. “Okay. I’ll see you around.”
“See you.”
---
A couple of days later, Vernon sees Seungkwan at one of their favourite study spots.
He hasn’t mentioned the date to her yet, and has kind of been avoiding her just so he could put it off more.
“So, I heard you and Chan went on a date.” It’s the first thing that Seungkwan says to him. She really doesn’t waste time.
Vernon freezes. He doesn’t know what to say to that. “I meant to tell you,” he says. He’s probably not making this better for himself.
“Gosh, Vernon, you didn’t commit a crime. I’m happy for you. And Chan seems very smitten.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You don’t need to act so shocked by that.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad? But you better give me the seat of honour at your wedding.”
“It’s already yours.”
Vernon leaves a couple of hours later and immediately texts Chan.
Vernon: Wanna catch up tonight?
Chan: I’m so in