Work Text:
Ma Meilleure Ennemie
Her hair whipped around her face as she squinted, trying to figure out where she was.
“Ochako-chan…”
She’d thought these dreams might stop when she started spending more time with Izuku.
“My beloved Ochako-chan…”
But if anything she was dreaming more.
She turned and Himiko was there, smiling at her. She waved and Ochako sighed, chest tight.
“Hi, Himi…”
That beaming smile came her way and she melted.
“Oh Ochako, I’m not sure you understood what I was trying to tell you…”
*~*~*~*
Ochako Uraraka groaned at the sound of her phone blaring, the call of heroism arriving in particularly jarring form and disturbing her sleep. She pulled her wrist to her face, grimacing at the time. 3AM? Shit.
She rubbed the drool from the side of her mouth and detached her face from her desk. Tsu was absolutely going to chew her out for falling asleep at work again, especially given they’d been travelling so much lately she’d barely been home. She wasn’t sure the one-bed apartment she had been extremely reluctant to commit to even counted as a home but at the very least it was where she could pull on her sweats, eat unhealthily and briefly dissociate from whatever difficulties had cropped up in her day. Now she thought about it, she hadn’t slept in her own bed in at least three weeks. That should probably be a cause for concern.
She stretched, slapping her cheeks gently to help her fully wake. She’d been in the middle of another dream which, even without remembering the full context, she knew was about Himiko.
They were always about Himiko.
That all too familiar pang seared across her stomach scar and she clenched her jaw.
No time for that sort of indulgence right now, not when there were people counting on her to save them.
She was pulling her discarded boots back on as she flicked through the alert - multiple villains mere minutes from her office, rampaging with their quirks and causing property damage and risk to life. As she always did these days she found herself wondering about their personal histories, about how they ended up in a place where committing crime made sense to them or they were desperate enough to view it as a reasonable option. She finished getting ready as she clicked her wrist gauntlets in place and leapt out her window, her rocket boots firing as she surged towards the source of the disturbance.
Dynamight had just beaten her there, red eyes flicking to her. He looked tired. Now that she thought about it, he looked tired all the time now. His eyes narrowed looking at her and she almost asked why, confusion fizzing through her.
“There’s three of them - I’ve got the guy with the extra arms, can you get the asshole who is glowing? Riot’s on the way for the third.”
Glowing wasn’t exactly a complete description of his quirk but she nodded, pulsing her rockets towards him. From what she could see they had been trying to steal a series of high end electronics, duffel bags of tech slung across their bodies. Petty crime. What a waste.
She landed with a thump, pressing her hand to the floor and snatching him off his feet with her chained zero gravity. Though she’d be loath to admit it, it was a shame to not get to use her Gunhead martial arts more frequently these days. Often this was the kind of alert they saw, minor criminality, drug trades, or some poor person losing control of their quirk.
It was crude to acknowledge it but the war had taken the verve out of a lot of criminal activity.
As she floated up to secure the man he spun midair to look at her, his face stretching into a grin.
“Fancy the trip of a lifetime, Uravity?”
Before she’d even registered what was happening she was surrounded by light and pain was searing through her skull.
*~*~*~*
“Uravity! Uravity, are you okay?”
She groggily opened an eye, consciousness slowly returning as she realised she was on the ground. The back of her head felt wet and, sure enough, looking at her hand confirmed it was bleeding.
She paused. No gloves? Where had her gloves gone?
She went to sit up and winced at the sharp pain. She must have fallen from a fair height - why hadn’t she activated her quirk? She managed to crawl across to a wall and leant into it, grateful for the support on her aching bones.
She faintly remembered the guy she was chasing, the light he’d enveloped her in. It must have been his quirk.
But hold on, she answered that call in the middle of the night? And it was definitely the early afternoon, latest, judging by the position of the sun in the sky.
Had she been knocked out all this time? That wasn’t possible, surely?
A young woman in a bright blue hero costume ran over to kneel beside her, eyes scanning for injuries. As her hand came up to examine the wound on her head she noticed she had a single pink and red cuff on her costume that looked at odds with the rest of it. Maybe it was a sigil from her hero agency? She was certain she’d never seen it before. Odd.
The hero reached up to her ear, presumably pressing a communicator there.
“This is Safe Harbour, calling for EMTs. Uravity has been knocked out of the sky while apprehending the villain.”
The girl was nodding while listening to the person on the other end or the call, to her amusement. She seemed sweet - Safe Harbour? She was surprised she’d never heard of her. Izuku usually talked her ear off about all the upcoming heroes during their weekly…meet ups. Dates? Something, anyway.
“Yes, I’m her sidekick.”
Wait, what?!
“She temporarily lost consciousness and seems to be bleeding a little but she’s awake now…yes she’s alert, though she does look…confused?”
Alarmed was probably more accurate.
She forced herself to interject.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know you and I don’t have a sidekick?”
The young woman’s eyebrows shot up.
“No, she definitely needs a hospital, she doesn’t seem to remember who I am. Yes, I’ll stay here with her. Thank you.”
The young hero took her hand and smiled.
“It’s going to be okay Ochako. The ambulance are on their way. I’ll call her for you.”
Who the hell was her? Her mother? Tsu?
She winced as her head throbbed again, feeling the urge to sleep eating at her. Shit, she needed to stay awake, concussion protocol 101.
“Safe Harbour? That’s a cute hero name.”
The young woman laughed.
“You said that the first time you heard it too. Do you really not know who I am?”
She went to shake her head but at the slightest movement it erupted in pain again.
“No movement, please Ochako. Stay still, okay? I’m sure this is just some sort of temporary amnesia.”
That didn’t make any sense. She knew who she was, how she had got here, her whole history. She knew the symptoms of amnesia and this wasn’t it.
It was then she noticed she was wearing the pink and red band on her costume too.
What the HELL was going on?
*~*~*~*
Despite their best efforts she had passed out multiple times on the way to the hospital, the young hero - she learnt her name was Minato - gently shaking her awake each time.
“You’ve got to stay awake, boss…or the big boss will kick my ass.”
Even in her state Ochako frowned.
“Big boss? Of me?”
Minato laughed.
“Oh yes, she is definitely the boss of you. Well, I guess you’re kind of the boss of her too.”
Now she was really confused.
The next time she woke up she was in a hospital bed, bandages round her head and an IV drip in her arm. Her head was still throbbing.
She vaguely registered there was a commotion happening outside her door.
“Oh come on, don’t be ridiculous, I’m her girlfriend, just let me through!”
Girlfriend?!
She must mean friend, right?
Otherwise who was making that up to get in to see her?
Her with a girl? No. Not even…no. She’d never even considered. Well, apart from…
Her face was flushing at the mere thought.
There was a pause then a gasp.
“Oh my goodness, Pro Hero Himiko! I’m so sorry ma’am, I didn’t recognise you in civilian clothes and uh, with the c-cap on.”
Her heart stopped. Himiko? Who…there was a pro hero with Himiko’s name? Surely she would have heard of them before. This made no sense. She remembered everything about herself, it was hard to believe that there were now two heroes in Japan she’d never heard of. The pro world wasn’t exactly big these days.
“I really liked that spread the two of you did for Vogue Japan by the way. It was so inspirational and, um…”
There was a little laugh from the woman she couldn’t see. A very cute laugh.
“It’s okay, I know we looked hot. But thank you anyway. Can I go in now?”
He spluttered and agreed while Ochako craned her neck to watch for the approach of the source of that laugh, her entire body freezing as she took in the person coming through the door.
That’s not possible?
That’s not…
That’s…
She walked over, pulled off her black cap, shook her hair loose and brushed Ochako’s bangs away from her face, almost like she did that all the time, before perching on the edge of the bed beside her.
“Hi baby, how are you feeling?”
One delicate hand pressed against her forehead, blonde eyebrows knotting together in concern.
“Gods your heart is pounding - maybe you’ve got an infection or something? They did say you’ve have been unconscious for a few hours.”
That hand slid down to cup her cheek and Ochako gasped, her face still frozen in shock. Golden eyes widened in concern, fear seeping into her expression.
“Oh please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me too, Chako?”
How could I ever forget you?
“H-Himiko?”
The fully adult woman in front of her, who looked so like her Himiko, smiled broadly at her. That beautiful smile. The one that belonged to the cutest girl in the world. Her pulse was threading in her throat.
“See, I told Minato you wouldn’t have forgotten me - you always see me wherever I am, my darling Ochako.”
She leant in and pressed her lips to Ochako’s so gently, so casually, as if it was something she did all the time. It was only a peck, a fleeting bit of affection, but every nerve ending in her body flared.
Himiko just kissed her.
Dead Himiko.
Just…kissed her?!
Her cheeks flooded with heat, the blush travelling across her whole body.
She must be hallucinating.
Maybe she‘d hit her head harder than she thought.
“A-are you real?”
Himiko laughed, tilting her head to one side.
“Exactly how hard did you get hit, Chako? Forgetting the girl you’ve mentored since U.A. then looking at me like I’m a stranger, now asking me if I’m even real? Or do I need to remind you how real I am?”
She waggled her eyebrows and it was so adorable she almost laughed.
Was she real? HAD she forgotten? Was there any chance this was actually her life?
The doctor walked in and Himiko(??) turned to greet her, allowing Ochako to truly take in the person in front of her.
She’d grown a few inches, just like her, and the dark circles under her eyes had given way to a few soft laughter lines. Her hair was longer and worn down, with more of a wave in it than she remembered. Her eyes were the same, sharp and soft all at once. She had a light layer of make up on and looked really professional, in her expensive tan coat, crisp white shirt, tailored black trousers and matching boots
She was beautiful. She was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
Then she remembered every day of pain since she had died, the nights she had spent crying, clutching her scar, tortured by alternative outcomes, by visions of a world where Himiko lived and they got to know each other more.
So how could she possibly be alive?
This wasn’t her world.
The quirk must have done something.
This wasn’t her world.
She’d never had this kind of peace since Himiko died.
Her face contorted in pain and Himiko looked at her again, confusion flashing across her face. She looked back to the doctor, lowering her voice to a whisper.
“She really doesn’t seem to be herself, Doctor. She keeps looking at me like she’s surprised to see me here. We’ve been dating for five years.”
Ochako’s stomach dropped.
DATING?
FIVE years?
“But she does seem to remember me…”
Whatever else she said was missed as she lowered her voice further. The doctor nodded and she caught the very end of what she said to Himiko.
“…few days at most, probably. I wouldn’t worry.”
From her profile alone Himiko looked thoughtful, clearly weighing something up, but eventually she nodded.
“You’re happy to discharge her to me then?”
The doctor smiled. “Absolutely. Uravity, you’re free to go though I wouldn’t attempt any hero work for the next few days and make sure to swing by the quirk healers on the way out to get your head healed, okay?”
Himiko turned to face her, a little less affectionate than before, like she was trying to respect a boundary or something. She wished she could find the courage to beg her not to worry about it, that even if this was some sort of hallucination she would happily indulge it to get to be near her.
“Going to take you back to ours, Ochako. Okay?”
Ours.
What could she do but nod.
Their decisiveness was interrupted by a surprising visitor. She was confused to see Principal Nezu standing at the door, waving a small paw in greeting. He and Himiko exchanged hushed messages of some kind and Ochako was trying not to let her irritation show at the way they kept excluding her from discussions that, presumably, concerned her. Himiko walked over and gently took her hand. She was embarrassed at the way her body relaxed immediately, soothed by something this simple as long as it was coming from the miracle standing in front of her.
“I’m just going to get your discharge papers sorted Chako, I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”
She kissed her cheek softly and Ochako leant into the touch so eagerly she could tell Himiko had noticed and was a little surprised by it. A broad smile greeted her when Himiko was looking at her again.
“You be nice to my girl, Nezu. Nefarious mother fucker.”
“It’s always a delight to see you too, Himiko.”
She glared at him as she gracefully stepped out, Ochako’s eyes not leaving her until she had closed the door. She missed her acutely and immediately.
Nezu hopped onto a chair and looked at her solemnly.
“Don’t be alarmed, but I know you’re not the Ochako Uraraka of this universe.”
She tried and failed to control her face. Shit.
“To be clear I don’t mean you any harm, but I do need to try and get you back home as soon as possible. It’s not good for the stability of either timeline to have you causing havoc in this one or, indeed, the Uraraka of this world potentially doing damage to yours. Was it a quirk accident or a deliberate experiment?”
She sighed, disturbed at the way she felt a little disappointed that she’d been spotted so quickly, just as she’d found Himiko again.
“Quirk accident. I was apprehending a villain and he said something about the trip of a lifetime before there was this huge blast of light. When I woke up I was here.”
Nezu hummed.
“Well, do you remember what he looked like?”
She nodded and tried to describe his features - grey eyes, squashed nose, thick eyebrows and moustache, reasonably heavy build - while Nezu took notes on a device. She’d never seen him use that in her world. Interesting. Maybe his quirk was less powerful here?
“Well that’s more than enough to start my search. The most likely outcome is that this is a time bound quirk and you may be plucked back to your own timeline at any moment.”
Her stomach dropped at that and she felt nauseous, suddenly hyper aware of Himiko’s absence.
“…but I think it’s fair to assume it would be a matter of days rather than hours if that was the case. What I’ll do for now is to try find this quirk user and see if he can effectively ‘release’ the effects of the quirk and send you home or, at least, tell us what we should expect in terms of duration.”
She fidgeted, unsure what she actually wanted to happen.
“What if it’s not a temporary thing or you can’t find him?”
He shrugged. “Then I’d have to somehow replicate the quirk ability which I frankly have no idea how to do just yet, much as there are some immediate theories springing to mind, so let’s try to find the man before we panic too much about that. You content with that approach, Uraraka?”
What choice did she have really?
She nodded and tried not to wince as fresh pain spiked in her skull.
“You should live as this world’s Uraraka for now, continue with the amnesia story. Explaining anything else would be too confusing for everyone involved and would likely have longer term consequences for this world’s Uraraka. Given you’re clearly a pro hero in your world it shouldn’t be too different from what you’re used to.”
Except for the enormous, colossal difference that was sorting her paperwork a hundred metres away.
“Um, Principal, am I really dating Himiko Toga?”
He frowned. “She hasn’t been Toga in a long time. You gave her your name many years ago to help her let go of past hurts. It wasn’t as a sibling, or anything like that, but, from memory, you didn’t want her to have to graduate U.A. as a Toga, given the abuse she had endured from her parents. I think at the time you said it was confirmation of your life-long bond.”
Himiko graduated from U.A.?!
He smiled, much more sincere than the Nezu she remembered.
“I think you had realised you loved her by then, even if it took you much longer to do something about that.”
Loved her?
Loved Himiko Toga.
Well, no, Himiko Uraraka.
Himiko Uraraka.
Why did even thinking of her like that make her feel lighter than she had in a decade?
*~*~*~*
Himiko was clutching her discharge papers and turned away while Ochako changed into clothes her apparent girlfriend had brought. She smiled at the similarity to her own wardrobe - a ribbed turtle neck and a pair of high waisted slacks, though they certainly looked a little pricier than what she would usually buy. She wondered what had encouraged this version of her to splurge out before realising, with a blush, that it was probably having a partner to help shout down the demons of poverty past.
She ached a little at the thought, of the lingering sensation of time wasted. Everything she was encountering about her alternate self - Otherchako, she had decided - was posing uncomfortable questions about her own life that she was not equipped to answer.
She padded over to accept her shoes from Himiko and the other woman watched her carefully.
“I was thinking I could drive us past our agency, see if that might help jog any memories?”
Ochako looked up while she was zipping up her boot.
“Our agency?”
Himiko nodded.
“Come on, I’ll show you.”
She hesitated but then reached her hand out anyway. Ochako’s body moved instinctively to grasp it, relishing the sensation of soft fingers laced through her own. As their hands remained linked she picked up every little nick and scar in those hands too, Himiko’s history still etched on her skin.
Himiko was a surprisingly calm driver. For some reason she had wondered if she might be chaos incarnate, rioting across lanes and sparring with adversaries real and imagined. But in reality she was mostly focused on her passenger, keen gold eyes flitting over to her repeatedly. For Ochako though the journey was sensory overload, with so many confusing details.
Tokyo was both intensely familiar and jarringly different. She recognised the broad shape of the city but every so often a building would be there that she didn’t expect, or billboards cropped up with surprising faces on them. When they passed a Sir Nighteye advertisement for wrist watches she’d yelled for Himiko to stop the car so she could get out and stare, astonished, at the apparently alive hero. Had this world’s Ochako saved him when she could not?
She looked over at Himiko and realised, forlornly, that clearly she had succeeded in saving everything she could not. She desperately wanted to ask about the differences in their experiences, to better understand how Otherchako had done it, but if reminiscing was anywhere near as painful for this Himiko as it was for her then she wouldn’t put her through it.
Perhaps wouldn’t put them both through it.
She wasn’t sure her soul could bear having her failures highlighted so brutally.
If her supposed girlfriend thought she was being weird she didn’t show it as she quietly observed, eventually rubbing small circles into her back, helping Ochako calm down.
In her world, she was an independent hero who spent her days delivering the quirk counselling programme she had developed in Himiko’s memory while also responding to emergency calls, regardless of the time of day. Her popularity had given her a top 25 ranking which she could easily have pushed further if she had been willing to delegate more of the QCP delivery and free up time for flashy takedowns or rescues. She was trying, at Tsu and Izuku’s encouragement, but a part of her felt like loosening her grip on the delivery would also be like letting another part of Himiko go. How could she possibly lose her again?
Himiko chirped happily as she pulled over, Ochako’s eyes widening as she took it in.
In front of them was a sizeable modern office with Uraraka Inc. blazed in pink and red across the front with multiple people, heroes and civilians alike, zipping in and out. The scale made her exhale in awe.
Himiko leant into her with a smile.
“You wanted it to honour your parents, so we called it Uraraka Inc, just like their construction company. We’re really successful, well known for being Japan’s premier rescue agency. We do jobs all over the world, especially climate-related disasters or large scale industrial accidents. You and Minato kind of have the perfect quirks for saving huge numbers of people in record time, given she can capture and solidify water. I run the agency and work as a rescue hero too, but more focussed on the recovery as much as rescue. Kind of the best blood bank in the world, ya know?”
Himiko paused and shook her head affectionately. “You’ve been doing a lot more fighting than usual lately, getting itchy feet and doing more takedowns. Much as it’s helped your ranking even more, I blame Minato and her army of interns. They’re always getting you all geared up to go kick ass.”
Himiko’s fond smile communicated that she, in fact, did not blame Minato at all. Ochako frowned.
“Why did I not have gloves on then?”
Himiko rolled her eyes but she was still smiling.
“Of course that would be your first question. Mei’s making you new ones just now because you wanted a bit more heft behind them, given we’re starting to see some of these really strong new villains appearing. I was happy with shelling out for anything that protected your pretty hands more.”
She couldn’t stop the blush at that - was Himiko always that good at getting a reaction out of her? Out of otherchako?
“Anyway, let’s spare you the gawking eyes of our many employees right now. I just want to get you home.”
Home. As in their shared home. Suddenly she was acutely anxious.
“Is it far from here?”
Himiko shook her head as she put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb.
“Just a 15 minute drive. ‘Close enough to be convenient, not so close that we have to see it when we pick up breakfast’ was your criteria.”
That…did sound like her. Except she would also be fixated on the cost.
“No cost criteria?”
Himiko laughed.
“Oh I beat that out of you years ago. Thank the gods.”
She smiled but the ache returned and settled in her chest. Years ago. She could only imagine.
She wasn’t sure what to expect from a meld of her and Himiko’s taste, but it certainly wasn’t the simple, sleek apartment she had just walked into. Sharp accents of colour gave it real personality but it looked so…expensive.
She heard twin miaows and turned, surprised, to the sight of two cats approaching, one white and one black and grey. Himiko bent to scratch behind their ears affectionately, scooping up the black and grey one.
“I suppose you don’t remember Jin and Toya either, do you? They’ll sulk all day if their other mother doesn’t shower them in affection. Not so different from the men who they’re named after, I guess.”
She grinned and Ochako found herself sharing it, compelled to match her mood, her smiles, her gestures, if only to stay as close as possible to her. She scooped up Toya, who purred noisily, relishing her touch.
There were photos everywhere, further evidence, as if she needed it, of their union. She lingered on them, emotion rising in her throat as she stared at her other self, at the joy radiating from every one of these frames.
Is that what she looked like in a world where Himiko lived?
Himiko had quickly fixed them some drinks and she leant against the breakfast bar as she appreciatively inhaled the familiar scent of peppermint tea. She used to live on the stuff while fighting to handle the nausea from her quirk.
“Oh, you’ll have forgotten but you need to go for your fitting tomorrow morning. I tried to get it moved but it’s too close to do it now.”
“Fitting?”
She assumed it was for a costume upgrades or something like that.
“Well you’re Izuku’s maid of honour, you’ll need to make sure your dress fits.”
Izuku’s what?!
Himiko came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her middle, making her heart race.
“Got to get that enormous ass of yours in it at least.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that came out of her as she swatted her arms away, Himiko clearly pleased at having got a reaction out of her.
“Who…is Izuku marrying?” She was surprised the thought didn’t pain her more. Maybe it was just because this whole world felt so odd, ever so slightly tilted off-axis at all times.
Himiko raised an eyebrow, smiling. “If you had to guess anyone, who would you guess? I’ll give you a clue - it’s not a girl.”
Her jaw dropped, stunned. The Izuku she knew was completely straight, right? Though she thought she was too before looking at the evidence surrounding her. Clearly it was a little more complicated than that. A guy…she thought back to Bakugo’s tired face, his narrowed eyes, literally every enormous expression of affection from him over the years and she smiled.
“Bakugo, huh?”
Himiko laughed. “Yes, Katsuki. We’ve called him by his first name for a while you know. He’ll be mortally offended if you whip out a casual ‘Bakugo’ at the reunion dinner now.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Reunion dinner?”
Himiko slapped her hand on her head. “Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting you’re basically a different person right now.”
She almost flinched. God, why was she so scared about her realising she wasn’t her Ochako?
“Reunion dinner with the class is in a few days, wedding is in a couple of months but of course Mitsuki is getting some fucking designer bozo in Milan to make the threads. Izuku is just nodding and accepting it all. Think he knows better than to suggest differently to the Bakugos.”
She smiled. At least that was the same.
“Do our classmates know I don’t know anything?”
Himiko laughed and came back over to her. “Well you know me, so who cares about the rest? We’re still just Himiko and Ochako, right?”
The relief that flooded her was unreasonable. “Yes, just Himiko and Ochako.”
Impossibly. Amazingly.
“Well, let me make us some dinner and we can watch a movie with dessert. You didn’t lose that extraordinary sweet tooth when you banged your head, did you?”
Ochako beamed.
“Oh that will never change.”
Later that night she was snuggled on the couch with Himiko, almost afraid to move and shatter the happiness she was feeling. They were watching a film she’d never heard of, that she was pretty confident had never been made in her world, and Himiko was loosely wrapped around her, stroking her hair.
She couldn’t resist leaning back into her touch, submitting instinctively to her care.
“You love this film.”
“I do?”
Himiko grinned into her hair.
“Maybe getting whacked on the head will improve your taste?”
She laughed.
“Well got to say so far I think this is pretty shit, so maybe it has.”
Himiko snorted and tightened her hold around her.
“Good girl.”
She felt heat spike through her and flood her face.
Clearly she wasn’t immune to Himiko’s charms.
They finished the movie and she had serious questions about Otherchako’s taste, much to Himiko’s delight.
The blonde had been plying her with mochi all night and she, of course, had been merrily scoffing away. After all, it technically wasn’t her body, was it? These were the first truly free calories she'd ever had and she had never been too proud to turn down free food.
Himiko skipped over with a pint of ice cream and she was so full she nearly refused, but Himiko’s imploring little pout persuaded her to open wide and accept the heaped spoon of ice cream. She hadn’t even thought about how intimate a gesture it was, to be fed like this, until Himiko’s eyes were on her mouth, watching her lips purse around the spoon, and suddenly she was very aware of how easily she’d slipped into domesticity with her. It had been a matter of hours and she was already cuddling on the couch and being spoon fed.
This isn’t your world, Ochako. Don’t get carried away.
Himiko had put the ice cream back in the freezer, cognisant that Ochako was probably going to hurl if she forced anything else down. From the kitchen she called out to her.
“Where do you want to sleep tonight Chako? Do you want me to make up the guest bedroom? Appreciate you’re probably not used to sharing a bed with me.”
She hadn’t even thought about the logistics yet and her face flared.
She should say yes to the guest room.
That was the logical thing to do.
But when it came to Himiko’s affection she was a weak little thing and she just wanted to be held so badly. She fought to control the flush and followed her desires, for once.
“Well, uh, I wouldn’t want to, um, put you out Himiko? I’ll happily share with you.”
Then she panicked.
“Uh, like a sleepover!”
Oh you moron.
The blonde brought her head round the corner with a smile and nodded.
“I’ll put pyjamas on for a change, spare you my bare ass.”
She giggled but now the image of Himiko slipping into bed every night with Otherchako, naked as the day she was born, was seared into her brain.
More concerning was the part of her that wondered if she would get to stay long enough to experience it herself.
As she tried to sleep Himiko eventually rolled over and instinctively curled around her. She had to fight back tears at how good it felt to be in her arms.
*~*~*~*
The next day Shoto Todoroki was watching her so intently she could basically hear the conspiracy theories being composed, the stream of questions generated by every difference in her mannerisms and her ‘missing’ memories.
Many things surprised about this world and he was one of them. He was the number 10 hero here, seemingly having arrived at many of the same realisations as her Shoto but wasting less time in doing so. He apparently spent three months a year travelling and was now a master craftsman, at least in the world of chopstick making. He had proudly showed her a series of videos of the process and she was delightfully reassured that this Shoto was as much of a wonderful little dork as hers.
After Himiko had fallen asleep last night, but before the delicious torture of being held by her, she’d done some research, determined to figure out what was so different. She needed to know how Himiko and Sir Nighteye lived, how Otherchako was superior to her so she could use her example to purge her lingering weaknesses. Unfortunately all her hunting for a silver bullet had yielded an obvious and unhelpful answer - it was just luck. They’d been so much luckier than she had been, than all of her class had been.
Sir Nighteye had taken two fewer direct hits from Overhaul and Otherchako been able to get him out in time for him to live. Himiko hadn’t been able to pull Izuku away right at the start of their fight in the War. Even though they were eventually teleported to Gunga, Himiko didn’t have Jin’s blood, so it had been a more even fight. Interestingly, Ochako had still been stabbed and Himiko had still saved her, but her injuries were less severe and the camera hadn’t run out of battery, so the news crews had been able to direct first responders to them before Himiko gave her too much blood. Given her heroic deeds and status as a minor, Himiko had spent a year in a rehabilitation facility before joining her class for their final year and graduating as a hero.
Jin and Toya had still died, that part sadly hadn’t changed, but Tomura Shigaraki had lived and was in New Tarturus, still undergoing therapy to stay as Tenko, not Tomura. He and Himiko had been held up as examples to be learnt from and quirk attitudes had gradually changed. Nothing on the scale of the work she was doing to reform and expand quirk counselling, but this was a much more organic shift. From the articles she had read it felt firmer, less dependent on the exertions and dedication of a single person, but there was a lot more villainous activity here still. Swings and roundabouts, really.
Izuku and Katsuki had killed All for One together, still having to sacrifice One for All to do it. In this world Izuku wasn’t a teacher who used a ludicrously expensive hero suit to join call outs every so often. Rather, he taught part-time at U.A. and ran the world’s premier quirk analysis service at the DynaDeku agency the rest of the time. As far as she could tell he didn’t do frontline hero work at all any more. Dynamight was the recently crowned Number 1 hero, Izuku’s popularity softening the explosive hero’s rough edges.
The other thing that made her jaw drop was Otherchako’s hero ranking - in this world, she was the Number 5 hero. Number 5! She hadn’t considered quite how much her quirk counselling work had held back her own ranking, not that she particularly cared about this sort of thing, but it shocked her. Still, it helped explain how nice their apartment was, especially considering Himiko was the Number 18 hero too. They’d built an extraordinary life for themselves.
Reading about it all, looking across to Himiko sleeping soundly beside her, made her ache.
“Okay, but, are you sure you’re not some infected with some sort of parasite?”
She blinked back into the moment and looked at Shoto, who was still watching her intently. That one was actually kind of accurate - she kind of was a parasite. Himiko was watching them, bemused. It hadn’t escaped her attention that Himiko was only letting her be alone when she was in the bathroom.
“Honestly who knows at this point Shoto. I hit my head pretty good - maybe something did slither on in there when I was unconscious?”
He briefly looked utterly horrified before narrowing his eyes.
“Oh. You’re joking.”
She grinned. Yes, just like her Shoto. He smiled back.
“Well, it is weird having you here without you fawning all over Himiko or vice versa. It must be weird for her too.”
Himiko, to her surprise, blushed a little at that. Was she missing her touch? Is that why she had cuddled with her last night?
“Oh I’m sure that’ll go back to normal soon enough too.”
Why had she said that? She didn’t know if that was true.
Himiko inhaled sharply before sloping over and slinging an arm around her shoulder. She flushed immediately. Stupid reactive blush.
“Come on Shoto, you know how it is - Himiko always loves Ochako and Ochako always loves Himiko. We always find each other. We’ll be back to normal before you know it.”
He smiled again at them and nodded.
“It’s true. You two really were made for each other. Now come on, Mitsuki looks like she’s about to murder us for holding up the fitting.”
Himiko gently slipped her hand in hers, eyes meeting hers in a silent question. All she could do was smile and squeeze her hand.
It did feel like the most natural thing in the world.
Made for each other.
What a concept.
*~*~*~
She almost laughed when they went to the yakitori place for the reunion a few nights later. Of course their taste in food would at least be consistent, regardless of what universe they were in.
To her astonishment one Katsuki Bakugo stood up and tapped his glass. The Bakusquad roared in approval.
“Speech, speech!”
He almost blushed as he shouted for them to shut the fuck up. Ah, there was the Bakugo she knew. He cleared his throat.
“Thanks everyone for coming to this special reunion, the last one before our wedding-“
“-And the first since you became Number 1 Kats! Hell yeah!”
Everyone cheered and Bakugo grinned but it was clear he was a little embarrassed at Kaminari’s words and the wider attention the class was enthusiastically lavishing on him.
“ANYWAY, it was my turn to do opening remarks so consider them fucking done. It’s always good to see you all losers. And remember, Ochako here has even more of an air head than normal – and no, not because Himiko drained her until she was dopey–”
“–oh you’re fucking hilarious!” Himiko barked out beside her, a broad smile on her face.
“No, that fucking space cadet ran headfirst into a villain fight and is now even more of a noodle brain than Pikachu here.”
Kaminari pouted. “Uh, Pikachu can hear you!”
“Stop fucking interrupting me you nerds! So anyway go easy on Cheeks because she isn’t herself. Otherwise, let fucking loose and have fun and don’t forget that we’re going dancing after. Blame Eijiro and his stupid fucking forfeits for that one.”
Ochako was so distracted watching this confident, borderline chatty version of Bakugo - no, Katsuki as he was here - that she almost forgot to laugh along with everyone. Gods they really would think she had a screw loose if she was spaced out all night.
The food was delicious and Himiko did a great job of protecting her from the curiosity of her classmates as they kept testing her non-existent memories. Tsu, at least, was as concerned as she would have expected.
“How long do the doctors think this will last, kero?”
She quickly chewed and swallowed the chicken in her mouth.
“Not sure, might, go away at any moment. Or maybe not. I still remember how to do my job but, um, not the agency or the staff so that might be a bit tricky. Thank goodness for Himiko, to be honest. She’s been amazing to me since…it happened.”
She shyly smiled at her and was surprised to see the fond curiosity on Himiko’s face.
Katsuki had, unfortunately, not been joking about the dancing. She had almost convinced herself that she could claim sickness but one look at Himiko’s excited face as she pulled them inside sealed her fate. She couldn’t say no to someone that adorable.
She had tapped out of the group dancing pretty quickly, dashing to the bar for water, but she found herself lingering in a seat at the edge of the dance floor. She couldn’t stop staring at her. Himiko was dancing with Bakugo, laughing as he spun her round and showed off, a smug little grin on his face.
She was once again surprised to see him relaxed and happy - when had she last seen her Bakugo smile? The thought made that all-too familiar ache flare again.
Izuku plonked down beside her and was watching them too, reclined in his chair, handsome as ever. He looked over at her, analysing.
“Hey Ochako, do you remember why we broke up?”
Ochako jumped, surprised he had spoken and about something so personal, so she merely shook her head, trying not to look as interested in the answer as she was. She didn’t even know they had dated in this world. Izuku smiled, soft and gentle.
“Turns out we were both more than a little into other people, Ochako. I always thought you were beautiful, and a wonderful person, but then you said something to me one day, when we were on a date actually.”
He laughed, sweet and awkward, just like the Izuku she knew.
“You said you could never imagine a life without Himiko in it and I realised I felt the same about Katsuki. We had this big gay revelation together so we cried and got drunk and broke up. My mother was devastated but we’ve been the best of friends ever since.”
She tried not to react. She knew exactly what a world without Himiko was like. She looked up as Bakugo dipped her temporary girlfriend, Himiko laughing loudly, showing off all her beautiful teeth, and Ochako’s eyes filled with tears.
“Well, you have Tsu too and I have Shoto. Iida will forever be more of an overbearing father, I suspect.”
She tried to disguise her sadness in a big laugh at that - it was good to know some things were the same regardless of what fucked up universe she was in. She swallowed her emotions down.
“I don’t remember that…I don’t, um, remember liking women at all to be honest.”
Izuku raised an eyebrow. “Oh I find that hard to believe. After you came out, and we eventually got together with the blondes who were impatiently waiting for us to come to our senses, you told me that actually you were pretty sure there were quite a few women you’d had a crush on before Himiko.”
He cupped his chin, as he often did before launching into an analysis.
“You definitely mentioned Nejire Hado in that context, because I remember my bisexual ass thinking it was uh…an interesting mental image.”
Ochako’s cheeks lit up as he laughed, slightly mortified at that observation. Sure, she’d always thought Nejire was beautiful but in an…appreciative sort of way.
“You said to me, and I’m quoting as accurately as possible here, ‘I told myself for years that it was just appreciation but that wasn’t true. I was just afraid to call it what it was because it meant accepting who I was too.’ So yeah, big gay awakening.”
Oh.
Oh.
Shit.
“Well, I’m going to go steal my fiancé back because your girl keeps looking over here all concerned.”
As he looked at her and grinned his eyes sparkled. He was so calm, so confident. She waved him away as he stood up to cross the dance floor.
He was so different from the Izuku she knew. Or at least he was different around Otherchako than other Izuku was around her.
She thought back to their last hang out/date/meet up that they had resisted labelling and cringed. They had both blushed and fumbled their way through it as they always did. She admired him so much. It was so impressive that he hadn’t just taken that hero suit and ran to the frontline again, that he had known himself well enough to keep combining it with the teaching he was so passionate about. They were always comfortable around each other as long as they were discussing hero stuff, whether her work or new merchandise or Izuku’s students and his complex quirk analysis for them.
But the second the conversation was more intimate, or one of them tried to touch the other, the blushes and the panic and the hesitation returned. She felt like a 16 year old girl again when she was around him and it infuriated her. How could she move forward when every second with him made her look back?
But this Izuku and Otherchako clearly had found a way. As soon as they had realised they were in love with other people, at least.
On their last outing Izuku had found some courage to kiss her again, just as he was dropping her to her door. It was gentle and soft. Sweet. Safe. And as soon as it was there it was gone. They’d kissed three times now, every one the same. She wondered if he was as perplexed as she was at the lack of electricity between them, at the way they couldn’t seem to move beyond their high school selves around each other. But she was scared to be the one to shatter the slow and steady way they were courting each other. After all, he was all she had ever wanted, right?
She leant back in her chair and exhaled.
What, exactly, was she holding out hope for with him now? The least worst option? Someone to keep her warm at night?
No, someone soft and gentle. Someone safe.
Looking at Izuku stepping in to replace Himiko and pull his fiancé close she couldn’t help but feel how unfair that was to them both.
When she’d been reading up on all that occurred here she hadn’t been able to decide if this world was a better or worse outcome for Izuku, but looking at how happy he was, how confident, how comfortable he looked in his own skin, she’d realised that of course this was better. He was with the man he loved and doing what he loved. He had everything he needed to be his whole self.
Notably, it was a future her Izuku could still have. A future she might be able to prompt him to seize, even if the thought of being consigned to her own loneliness again almost split her in two.
She shouldn’t be selfish. This whole experience had just confirmed what part of her always knew. No one could truly compete with Katsuki for Izuku and in every world where Katsuki wanted him, Izuku would always want him back.
“You look like you’re deep in thought over here, beautiful.”
She glanced up to Himiko’s smiling face, one strand of hair pulled behind her ear to show off her various piercings. She was struck, again, by how beautiful she was.
But it wasn’t passive, like it felt with Izuku.
She didn’t just admire her.
But she wasn’t hers. It was so unfair to keep taking when she wasn’t her Himiko.
“Yeah, I guess I am. Think you can distract me?”
Himiko grinned and stretched out her hand, pulling her to her feet.
“Dance with me, Ochako-chan?”
She fell into Himiko’s hold and smiled.
“Always.”
Himiko spun her around and Ochako laughed with her whole chest, delight sparking in her veins. Being with Himiko was like consuming pure oxygen. She had never felt so light, so alive, so painfully happy.
She couldn’t think about how it was effectively a mirage. She couldn’t linger on any of the hurt she was causing herself by getting caught up in her all over again.
Himiko guided her arms up around her neck before settling her hands firmly around Ochako’s waist, pulling her close. She leant fully into her with a sigh and Himiko’s chin rested on her shoulder, her contented little hum making her smile. She smelt so good, felt so good.
If she had been looking for safety well she had never felt as safe as she did in the arms of her best enemy.
They danced together the rest of the night and she watched every twist, every flounce, every silly, adorable, enchanting thing Himiko did.
She needed to tell her the truth but anxiety gnawed at her any time she thought about that. The thought of risking this nirvana was almost too much to bear.
She wanted to watch her forever, even as she knew she couldn’t.
She wanted to kiss her, even as she knew she shouldn’t.
She wanted more.
She wanted more so badly.
*~*~*~*
She had held it in on the train, affixing her Uravity smile as a shield to hide behind even while passengers took discrete pictures of her and Himiko. The other girl leant into her throughout and Ochako found herself winding an arm around her waist, reflexively holding her close.
Did Otherchako get this all the time? Was this really her life?
HER life, remember? Not yours. It’s not yours.
Once they were walking to their apartment she knew she had to say it, to confess, even as the fear was almost making her shake.
“Himiko, I…I have to tell you something.”
She was cursing herself for daring to break this peace, to ruin this beautiful night, but she couldn’t lie to her.
“I’m not…”
She couldn’t get it out. Couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything that would make Himiko stop the small caresses, the lingering touches, the echoes of intimacy that she craved.
Himiko smiled and let go of her hand to cup her jaw gently.
“Oh Ochako, I’ve known and loved you for a decade. Don’t you think I knew that you weren’t my Ochako as soon as I spoke to you?”
Her eyes widened but Himiko just smiled and wove their hands together, guiding her over to a bench. The autumn leaves were kicking up around them, their colours meshing with Himiko’s hair, her rust coloured jumper, her golden eyes.
Maybe it was a dream. How else could she look that divine?
She could barely breathe.
“It’s okay. You’re travelling. Clearly things are different in your world than here, Chako. Why don’t we talk about it? We don’t have to talk about me though, just tell me about your life.”
What was the use pretending? So she did. She talked about being an independent hero, talked vaguely about the work she did with Tsu, her parents, even Izuku, albeit rather bashfully.
“You’re still dating guys?”
Himiko looked genuinely stunned and she felt her fists ball in her trouser legs, embarrassed and self-conscious.
“Why are you saying it like that? Are…are you making fun of me?”
Himiko’s face fell, her hands reaching out for her.
“No, not at all. Not at all. It just…it makes me sad, that’s all. Sad for you.”
She forced her eyes up to Himiko’s, trying to ignore the sting there.
“Ochako, I told you we’ve been dating for five years, right? Well you do the math - that means we weren’t for the same amount of time. I was only in the rehabilitation centre for a year before I came to U.A. so, given you always knew that I loved you, why do you think it took us so long?”
Himiko smiled softly.
“It wasn’t easy for you, Chako. I mean, acknowledging what you want in any way at all isn’t easy for you, let alone it being something you’d never even allowed yourself to consider.”
She grinned then.
“Well until you met me, of course. Then the proverbial hit the fan. Much as you tried, it’s pretty hard to deny you’re into girls when you’ve fallen in love with one, isn’t it?”
The almost permanent blush Ochako had been sporting since this nightmare began only deepened.
She’d never felt it, whatever ‘it’ is. When she was alone sure, she could experience pleasure, but with a guy? Well, not that she had exactly experimented much but…it made her feel odd. Uncomfortable. Self-conscious. Nothing about it had encouraged her to go back for more.
Did that mean she didn’t…like men? Why hadn’t she ever stopped to consider that possibility before?
Had she fallen in love with Himiko?
She looked at the woman in front of her, wide, gentle eyes patiently waiting for her to respond, and the lump in her throat grew.
Himiko was beautiful. She knew that. Had always known that.
But.
But it was normal to think girls were beautiful, wasn’t it? Didn’t…everyone?
And it was normal to mourn someone who had died to save her. Someone she was willing to die to save. Which was also normal for a hero. Even if the person they’re trying to save is technically a villain.
This was all normal.
Except.
Except for the way her heart was thudding in her chest.
Except for the heat flooding her body when Himiko touched her with a causal and easy fondness, their relationship clearly expressed in her affection.
Except for the fact that every time she looked at her she wanted to cry, not because she was sad but because she was jealous, horrifically jealous that this Ochako got to discover who she was unimpeded by mourning. She was jealous her other self was able to love the girl she had lost.
Because she wanted to love her.
All she wanted to do was love her.
She gasped as the emotions that had been bubbling within her spilled out and she clutched Himiko close as she sobbed.
“Oh Chako, it’s okay. It’s okay to want what you want, to live as you want to.”
She tightened her grip on Himiko’s jumper and cried harder.
So that’s what her Himiko had meant.
She hadn’t just meant Izuku.
Ochako hadn’t possessed the imagination to even consider that her Himiko meant more than that.
“Just breathe, Chako. Breathe for me, okay?”
She nodded, gulping down air.
Then it all came flooding out.
They cried together when Ochako told her about when her Himiko had died and when she talked about how her work on expanding access to quirk counselling was all she could think to do in her memory, her head on Himiko’s shoulder as she gently held her hand and rubbed reassuring circles into it while Ochako hiccuped through her explanation.
“I have missed you every day for a decade. Seeing you like this, knowing that a version of me gets to be with you, it’s…”
She sniffed and laughed lightly, lifting her head, indelicately rubbing at her eyes, probably smudging her make up all over her face in the process.
“It’s making me so jealous, isn’t that pathetic? I should only be happy that you’re happy, that other me is happy, but I’m so fucking jealous that I didn’t get this world, that I got the world where you’re dead. I’m so jealous that I didn’t get to love you.”
The thought made her cry again and Himiko held her tight, face buried in her hair.
“Oh Ochako, you’ve spent the last eight years dedicating your life to my memory - what is that if not loving me?”
They walked home hand in hand, Himiko kicking up leaves every so often to Ochako’s amusement. She was barely looking at the road as she drunk in every feature, every quirk and mannerism as Himiko talked about the life she never got to live. For the first time she noticed Himiko was still slightly taller than her, unlike the girl she dreamed about.
That ache came back and made a permanent home in her chest.
Himiko’s bright eyes turned to hers, shining with glee.
“I’ll give you all the dirty details when we’re home, probably not becoming for the Number 5 hero and her Number 18 girlfriend to be recorded discussing their sex life in public.”
She laughed and shook her head, cheeks flaring again. She was more than a little embarrassed at her own inexperience. Two deeply disappointing encounters when she felt she couldn’t avoid it any longer and nothing more than a few tentative kisses with Izuku. She’d never so much as kissed a girl.
They were outside their apartment building and she had to say it now or she wouldn’t. She planted her feet and Himiko turned, eyebrows raised in question.
Oh my god you’re a grown woman, spit it out.
“Will…will you kiss me, Himiko?”
She cringed the second the words left her mouth but Himiko’s eyebrows merely remained raised in surprise. She didn’t run, didn’t detach from her. After a few beats she smiled and closed the distance between them.
“Always, Ochako. Always.”
She took a shuddering breath before soft lips met her own, delicate before sliding together.
Electricity fizzed down her spine.
Oh.
Himiko was being gentle but she didn’t care for that, yanking her closer until their bodies were pressed tightly, deliriously together. She moaned against her lips, pulse rioting, heat rising. Himiko’s hands were starting to wander and she was leaning into her at every pass.
Please.
Ochako wanted. She wanted every last part of her. Every little noise, every sensation. She wanted it all. She wanted everything Himiko.
She pulled back with a smack, nuzzling her nose against Himiko’s.
“Please don’t stop touching me. Please, Himiko…”
Golden eyes looked at her so lovingly she could have cried. Himiko smiled, soft and true, running her thumbs across her cheeks.
“I’ve got you Ochako. I promise I’ve got you.”
Himiko took her hand and pulled her into the apartment and to her bedroom. Her and Otherchako’s bedroom. And, at least for now, theirs too.
In that bedroom, that may or may not have been hers, Ochako finally allowed herself to have what she wanted.
*~*~*~*
She woke up tentatively, terrified that when she opened her eyes it would all be gone.
But soft skin was on hers, a hand gently running through her hair, and she smiled in relief.
Himiko.
She shifted closer, just about resisting the urge to bury her face into Himiko’s chest.
“Morning sleepyhead. I know it’s still Otherchako in there.”
She leaned up on her forearms, confused how she could tell. Himiko grinned.
“My Ochako would have already buried her face in my chest. You merely want to but can’t quite bring yourself to do it, huh?”
Ochako pouted and, in a moment where her competitive spirit outfought her shyness, plonked into Himiko’s open arms and nuzzled in.
Bliss.
Himiko laughed under her and wrapped her arms around her tight.
“I hope other you takes the same view as I have that it’s not cheating if it’s you. Do you think she’ll get jealous?”
Ochako snorted.
“Yes, but I suspect you know that and kind of like it.”
Himiko grinned.
“Oh you know me too well.”
It’s funny that she did, given she absolutely didn’t, had never really had the chance to.
Himiko kissed her hairline affectionately.
“I’ve called us in sick for the next week. I’ve got a lot I want to teach, you know…”
Ochako laughed and smacked her arm before falling back and watching, delighted, as Himiko crawled over to and on top of her.
A week of this?
As it turned out they had to leave the house every so often, chiefly to stop Himiko going stir crazy.
They were hand in hand, strolling through a thrift store, Himiko pausing continuously and commenting on each little thing she found charming which, unsurprisingly, was almost everything.
She got particularly invested in a cute vintage broach with spider lilies on it so, when she was inevitably distracted again moments later, Ochako snuck off and bought it. She was surprised she hadn’t even thought twice about it, her desire to please Himiko immediately overwriting her instinctive miserly nature.
She smiled. So that’s how it had gone for Otherchako. Who could possibly remain a tight ass when this beacon of joy was your partner?
Himiko called out for her again from elsewhere in the store and she sped off to find her, wrapping her arms around her middle and burying her face in her neck.
She hadn’t been this happy since the day she lost her.
It was completely addictive, even as a little voice in the back of her head tried to warn her not to get carried away.
Half way through their horny ‘sick’ week they were in the bath, Ochako running her fingers down Himiko’s legs as she leant back into her. Himiko was stroking her hair, which was her new favourite thing. Something had been bothering her.
“Himi, why aren’t you married, if you already have my last name?”
Himiko kept softly stroking her hair, smiling.
“Well that one is on me. I guess I felt that marriages end but the bond that we have would truly only end in death, so why would we need to get married?”
Ochako took a shuddering breath as she felt her lungs constrict. She forced a smile on her face as she leant further into Himiko’s touch.
“Well you have to take it from me that it doesn’t end in death, Himiko-chan. You’ve been with me since the moment you died for me. I don’t think anything will ever stop the connection between us.”
Himiko squeezed her tightly and rested her chin on her shoulder.
“I guess you’re right, Ochako. Maybe I’ve been pretending that’s the whole reason when really I’m just scared of shattering this blissful present. I guess I should have more faith in our love, shouldn’t I?”
Ochako smiled and turned to look at her, cupping her beautiful face.
“I just know how much I would want to marry you and I bet you Otherchako thinks about you in a wedding dress all the damn time. I would. I have. Well I’m thinking about it right now I guess.”
She laughed and Himiko’s big smile made her feel light and airy.
“You should marry her, Himiko. You shouldn’t waste a moment with each other. Really, you shouldn’t.”
Himiko hummed and nuzzled into her neck and she couldn’t stop the small noise of contentment that left her throat.
“You’re very persuasive, Ochako-chan. Very, very persuasive.”
*~*~*~*
Nezu had called her the day before she was due to go back to work, initially trying to be cryptic until she told him that Himiko knew who she was and all was fine. He was pleasantly surprised, congratulating them both on navigating this strange world.
With no luck finding the quirk user so far, he told her they had been hard at work on a technological solution with Hatsume but, until they had fully tested it, Ochako should go ‘back’ to work. She was excited and nervous all at once to see their agency, the other part of the life that Otherchako and Himiko had built for themselves.
She had been here an hour and was genuinely overwhelmed by the scale and success of their operation. Now she kind of understood how Himiko could sign them off for a week and still have everything running smoothly, though it impressed her watching her girlfriend switch into work mode, calmly directing the different teams to their daily tasks.
She leant against Himiko’s desk, smiling.
“You’re good at this. I could never have imagined Himiko thriving in an office.”
The blonde looked up at her, a little pink with the praise.
“Well, as we’ve discovered, things do change.” She pecked her quickly on the lips and it was Ochako’s turn to blush.
Towards the end of her second day on patrol, the operator in their office came over to her and Safe Harbour, who had just gotten back from foiling a bank robbery and rescuing a stranded driver on the way to the agency.
“We’ve had a call out - there’s a landslide heading towards the highway. Uravity, can you and Safe Harbour handle it?”
Himiko leapt up from her desk and rushed over.
“I’ll go too so we have another Uravity, just in case.”
She looked at her and nodded in appreciation, Minato bounding over to her with a grin.
“Excited to be working with you on rescue again boss!”
She couldn’t help but match her enthusiasm, pumping her fist.
“All right, let’s go plus ultra!”
They all looked at her slightly perplexed but smiled anyway. She tried not to blush - clearly plus ultra was not a thing here, huh?
They made it to the site quickly. Otherchako’s rocket boots were annoyingly much better than hers and Minato used her quirk to turn the water in the air into a streamline, helping them along. It was a good thing they were so fast, given she could see the landslide cresting over the mountain. Shit.
“I’m going to have to lift the whole lot in chained zero gravity - you both focus on whatever defences you can muster for the highway itself and start evacuating.”
They looked at each other in confusion but she was already releasing them and speeding towards the landslide, getting ready to catch it all in her zero gravity. She was running out of time as she rapidly, and recklessly, released her quirk, reactivating it just before she went spinning into the rock. She pressed both hands to the ground and sent her chained zero gravity out, recalling the connection she had to feel to form the chain, and she smiled broadly as her quirk responded, the pink glow of her zero gravity capturing the entirety of the rock face. She hadn’t even considered if Otherchako’s quirk was different, which was more than a little foolish.
Her weight limit had increased exponentially since U.A., obviously especially since her quirk awakening against Himiko, and actually her limit had yet to be accurately measured at capacity. So assuming her quirk was broadly the same here this was relatively tame compared to what she could truly do when pushed.
She glanced around at the highway to gauge the progress the others were making and was surprised to see the two heroes staring at her, almost frozen, a wall of solid water shielding the cars from being able to see her clearly but she could see they were still there. She tapped her communicator.
“Guys, hurry up and evacuate the cars? I don’t want to risk any of this hitting them.”
Himiko’s strained voice came back.
“Yeah we’ll…yeah.”
Well that was weird, but they had sprung into action now so she felt much calmer. She was floating higher, assessing where she might be able to take the debris, when Himiko’s voice came back through her communicator.
“Going to come join you, help you move that, okay?”
She didn’t really need her help but she’d never say no to spending more time with her.
“Sure, Himiko. Thanks.”
She smiled at the sight of Himiko partially transforming into her and using her quirk. It was incredible watching her utilise her blood like that.
When she got beside her, Himiko reached across her face and turned off her communicator, to her surprise.
“I don’t want Minato to hear this but Ochako…how the hell did you do that?”
She frowned. “Do what?”
Himiko gestured at the earth she was still holding up.
“You put your hands down and it spread your quirk - almost like Shiggy’s decay used to?”
Was she being serious?
“Himiko, this is my quirk awakening in action - chained zero gravity, I’ve had it since we fought at Gunga?”
Himiko’s eyes widened. “Not in this world. Shit. I can’t say you had an awakening because when Ochako’s back-”
She cut herself off, wincing as she was suddenly aware of what she was about to say, but Ochako just smiled.
“Because Otherchako can’t do it and if people expect it she’s fucked, right?”
Himiko exhaled, looking at her.
“I didn’t mean to imply I want you to-”
Ochako shook her head, cutting her off. It had stung but she knew she hadn’t meant it like that. She could see the conflict on Himiko’s beautifully transparent face.
“No, don’t worry. You’re rightly protecting your agency and your partner. Okay, what can we say then that won’t get anyone into trouble?”
Himiko looked back towards Minato, who was clearly directing civilians.
“I think Minato’s probably the only person who saw. We might need to tell her about you. Then you need to tell me more about how you did that because it was so fucking cool.”
She leant in to her and kissed her gently, to Ochako’s surprise.
“You’re really fucking cool, Ochako.”
Despite the fact she had spent over a week in bed with this woman it was that praise that made her blush like a teenager, the look of awe and respect on Himiko’s face making her freshly emotional.
But using her quirk like this, in a way that Otherchako could not have, was a painful reminder of her difference, a reminder that she doesn’t belong in this world.
That she doesn’t belong with Himiko.
She fought hard the rest of the day to keep the agony off her face but, safe in bed that night, she let herself cry with Himiko and then let her kiss every one those tears away.
She’d been so foolish to get this comfortable.
She’d been so foolish to forget this all had to end soon.
*~*~*~*
When they came into work the next day Nezu and Hawks were sitting there, clearly waiting for them. Hawks seemed to be the HPSC President in this world too and, judging by the distinct lack of plumage behind him, presumably he had also lost his quirk to All for One.
“Uravity, Himiko - can we have a word?”
Dread settled in her gut, heavy and potent. Himiko must have felt the same because she looped their pinkies together as they walked in to the conference room and sat down. Hawks looked at her, a small smile on his face.
“Hi Ochako but not from this world. How you doing?”
She forced a smile back, tightening her grip on Himiko’s hand other the table.
“Okay, thanks. Has there been a change or something that you need to inform us about?”
He hummed.
“You used a technique we’ve never seen before yesterday. Is it a quirk awakening?”
She nodded stiffly.
“I’ve had it since I was a teenager. In my world at least.”
“It’s very useful. Unfortunately, a bit too useful. If some of the other folks at the HPSC hear about it I have no doubt they’ll try and keep you here forever, which obviously is deeply unfair to both you and the Ochako of this world. So, I’m afraid, we’re going to have to get a bit braver and experimental about sending you back.”
Himiko tensed beside her, though she wasn’t sure over which part. Maybe all of it, truly. It certainly had that effect on her. Nezu smiled sadly at her.
“We’re going to do it tomorrow, Ochako. You should prepare yourself.”
Himiko bolted out of her chair, eyes wide.
“No, this is insane - you don’t know how to safely send her back so you’re just going to WING IT? She’s a special person and you’re just risking her like it’s nothing? What the hell?”
She was going to remember Himiko calling her a special person until the day she died.
Nezu shrugged.
“I’ve tried multiple objects in it already and as far as we can tell they are all going to the other universe, but unfortunately we’re not going to know if it works for Ochako until she steps inside. That’s science. Hatsume has assisted me with it though so I am confident it will work.”
Ochako looked at her knees, considering. Rogue though she could be, she probably trusted Hatsume with her life. Just about.
Himiko was still protesting.
“I don’t understand why we’re not just focusing on bringing the original Ochako back. Why can’t they both be here? In this world?”
Ochako’s chest was tight.
Oh Himiko, you’ve made the same mistake I have, haven’t you?
Hawks frowned then his mouth quirked up into that irritatingly casual grin.
“Oh come on Himiko you know why. Fulfilling some sort of fantasy is not-”
Himiko snarled and cut him off. “FUCK YOU, that’s not why…you don’t…do you know Ochako’s world? Do you know that I’m dead there? Do you know…”
She tailed off, her hands tightening into fists.
“Please, there has to be a way for them both to be here. I know they could work brilliantly together. We could make it work, the three of us.”
Ochako wanted to object, to say something sensible, but she had never even considered the prospect of genuinely getting to stay and now it was making her thrum with longing, even as she knew it was impossible.
Nezu saved them both from the fantasy.
“Himiko, I understand your fears and your compassion, affection even, for this Ochako, but she does not belong here. There is not a physical body for her to inhabit. We’d have their two consciousness fighting for control of a single body - Ochako would go insane and you’d lose them both. She has to go home.”
To her surprise Himiko wasn’t done.
“NO, look, this world is ridiculous. If there was a quirk user who could send her here in the first place there must be one who could replicate Ochako’s body, give both of them somewhere to stay. Please, there are options here and Ochako knows not to use the chained zero gravity now, we can keep this up while we work out how to help her stay. Please.”
The desperation on her face, the pleading, made her feel so warm. So cherished.
It was agony.
She stood up and wrapped her arms around Himiko, burying her face in her neck.
“It’s okay, Himi. I survived without you for the last decade. I’ll keep surviving. And you’ll get your girl back.”
She didn’t believe it even as she said it, but she refused to let her worry about her.
Himiko pulled her closer, her composure breaking as she sobbed quietly into her neck.
“But I don’t want you to just survive, Ochako. I want so much more than that for you.”
Nezu left details of a meeting point with her, asking her to come tomorrow.
They went home immediately, unwilling for Ochako’s last day to be spent working. Himiko held her the whole time, desperate to be close, imparting every bit of affection she could into her.
They cried more than they didn’t.
Why had she made the mistake of falling in love just to lose it again?
*~*~*~*
She’d done them both a favour, really. She’d spared them the big goodbye.
Guilt had gnawed at her as she disentangled from Himiko in the morning and left her a note, thanking her, telling her how she felt about everything they had experienced and how much she cherished her. Then she’d slipped into her costume and gone to the meeting point, a lab on the U.A. campus.
When she turned up without Himiko, Nezu and Hatsume gave each other a look before continuing their prep.
Just as she was getting ready to step inside the machine, she heard a door swing open and familiar footsteps race in.
Nezu walked in front of a panting Himiko, paw on her leg.
“Himiko, you can’t stop this. She has to go back.”
Himiko took another step forward, eyes locking with hers. Ochako swallowed the lump in her throat.
“You have a really good life, Himiko. An amazing life. A life with another version of me.”
She felt tears pricking her eyes and gritted her teeth.
Don’t be selfish.
“I have to protect it. I have to know that there is a world out there where I saved you and you’re happy, cutest girl in the world.”
Himiko’s eyes widened and she shook her head as she pushed Nezu out of the way and started running towards her, shouting desperately.
“Ochako! Ochako, I can’t…Ochako I don’t want you to be alone! Please Ochako! Please, I can’t bear to think of you alone!”
Ochako clutched her stomach, trying to press down the ache, as she walked in front of the machine.
“Chako, we’ll find another way! We’ll find a way for you both to be here! OCHAKO! Please!”
Himiko’s voice was cracking, her fear and shock coming through clearly. She must feel so conflicted. Another reason why she had to be the one to pull away - Himiko would never leave any version of her.
She knew this hurt would never be undone. She would be concave forever, her heart missing from her chest. What delusion, to think that Izuku could ever have been able to suture this soul wound. To think that anyone else could.
Ochako took in a deep breath and shook the tears from her eyes. She turned to Himiko and smiled, hoping it imparted her gratitude, her pain, everything she felt for the beautiful girl she had loved and was about to lose again.
“I love you. I love you Himiko. I love you in every single world. I love you so much.”
Before she could let her longing win she leapt into the machine and that all too familiar light started to surge around her. Himiko was crying, watching her, shaking her head, and cradling her Ochako’s body, now splayed and unconscious outside the device. Ochako pressed her hand against the glass, crying with her.
Gods she loved her. She loved her so much.
The last thing she saw was Himiko looking at her, hand outstretched towards hers and tears streaming down her beautiful face as she mouthed I love you too.
*~*~*~*
Ochako’s eyes snapped open to the concerned face of Katsuki Bakugo, but not the smiling, calm man she had left behind. This was her sad, tired Bakugo. Her world.
Her world where Himiko Toga, Himiko Uraraka, was dead.
Her time was up.
The fantasy was over.
A sob rocked into her throat and she clung to him, ignoring the way he immediately stiffened. Eventually a hesitant hand tapped her lightly on the back.
“What the fuck, Uraraka? Are you hurt or some shit?”
Hurt in a way that she was sure would never heal, yes.
Tsu and Izuku had made it to the scene not long after, both alarmed to see her weeping, clinging tightly to Bakugo and seemingly beyond rational arguments as she refused to let go.
“Ochako? Oh Ochako, what’s wrong, kero?”
Tsu slowly managed to coax Ochako into her arms instead of Bakugo’s and stroked her hair.
“Ochako? Talk to us, please.”
She looked up at her, gulping down air.
“I lost her again. I can’t believe I lost her again.”
They had managed to shield her from the cameras as they took her home, the three heroes electing to stay with her. She had no idea when she fell asleep but when she woke up in the middle of the night she was in her shorts and t-shirt, with all three of them in bed with her, forming some sort of odd community. She noticed Katsuki lying beside Izuku and smiled. She hadn’t forgotten the promise she had made herself about them.
Then she thought about Himiko again and she bolted up and ran to the bathroom, vomiting violently. She wasn’t sure if that was an after effect of the quirk or grief. She slowly brushed her teeth, trying not to start crying again.
When she opened the door Izuku was there, smiling gently.
“Want to talk about it, Ochako?”
She nodded and led him into her living room, making a cup of tea for them both.
As they sat down it all came out, the alternate universe, Himiko being alive and with Otherchako, him and Katsuki being together and getting married. The differences in their world. Izuku’s quirk analysis practice at the agency. His eyes grew wider with every word that came out of her mouth. She took his hand, briefly registering that she wasn’t blushing at all, that she’d been cured of her teenage reactions to him, and smiled.
“Izuku, I have never seen you that happy and, much as I love you in a way, I know we will never make each other that happy.”
She paused. Might as well tell the whole truth.
“You know I always wondered what I was doing wrong, why I felt so flustered and uncomfortable around men. I thought I was broken or immature or something, that it was my fault that I didn’t enjoy kissing them or sleeping with them. After all that I know now, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but the men were wrong for me.”
She laughed, tears springing to her eyes as she let it out.
“I’m pretty sure I’m kind of gay, Izuku. It took me literally travelling to another fucking dimension to figure it out.”
She kept laughing at herself, shaking her head.
“You have a chance to do things so differently. Katsuki loves you. He’s lying in there because of you. If there’s any chance you feel the same, you should go get him.”
Izuku was still staring at her, tears in his eyes, before his face softened.
“Ochako, you…you are the most incredible person. How did we all get so lucky to have you? After everything you’ve just gone through your main concern is still me.”
He wiped a few strays tears away.
“You are a wonderful woman and you deserve someone to match that. It’s what I sincerely hope and wish for you, even if it isn’t with me. You’ll always be a special person to me, do you know that?”
She smiled and shuffled over to him, collapsing into his embrace.
“I do. And you to me.”
He held her until she fell started to fall asleep again but before she had fully dozed off she heard Katsuki come in and start to make his excuses to leave.
“Kacchan, wait. I need to tell you what Ochako told me. And I need to know what you think about it. But only once we’ve got her back to sleep, okay? Stay. Please.”
She could feel his hesitation and was tempted to intervene but this had to be his choice, his next step.
He had to be the one to tell Katsuki that he was special to him too.
She closed her eyes and dreamt of being in bed with Himiko, held tight, feeler safer than she’d ever been.
*~*~*~*
Two long weeks later she hadn’t gone back to work.
She was depressed, plain and simple. Agonisingly, aching low. Thankfully she didn’t have an employer but she was wracked with guilt over the schools she was missing visiting, the savings she was dipping into as she ordered in every day, over the friends she was avoiding even as they tried to step in and help.
They all knew now. Tsu and Izuku had told them all what she had gone through.
Izuku and Katsuki were already together, having confessed to each other tearfully in her home as Tsu stroked her hair and let her dream of Himiko. She was genuinely euphoric for them but it was such a small salve for the most tremendous wound.
Every night she wrapped herself in her duvet, wishing she could fool herself into believing it was the woman she loved.
The sense of loss permeated everything. The grief was suffocating.
On the third week of her self-imposed isolation, she was surprised to get a knock on her door. She looked terrible, hadn’t showered in four days and hadn’t washed her hair in longer than she cared to remember. Shit.
When she tentatively opened the door Hatsume was standing there, covered in grease as she usually was.
“Yo, Uraraka! Oh, everyone was right, you do look awful. What a shame!”
She scowled at her, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders.
“Can I help you with something Hatsume?”
The woman smiled and reached into her bag, bringing out a clear folder.
“I’ve got something for you! From the other dimension, we think.”
Her eyes widened and she snatched the folder from her, apologising instantaneously for her actions. Hatsume just smiled.
“I hope it helps, Uraraka. And take a shower. You’re starting to look like me.”
She grinned and was gone, leaving Ochako cradling this precious bounty.
She walked back into her apartment in a daze, sinking into her sofa before pulling out the envelope inside, tracing Himiko’s handwriting carefully. What an impossible gift. She slowly opened it and delicately pulled out the letter, fearing that it would crumble to dust before she ever had a chance to read it.
My darling Ochako-chan,
She was already crying, a sob cresting in her throat as soon as she read the affection in her tone. Gods she missed her. She missed her so damn much. She missed both versions of Himiko. Every version of her.
Hopefully my Nezu and Hatsume got this right - I’ll choose to believe they did at least!
I’ve thought about you so often since you were here. Not just about the things we experienced together - my Ochako is giving me a glare right now, clearly her jealous ass can sense that I’m daring to think about anyone but her - but about how much I learnt from you. I pushed that creepy mouse and Mei hard to help me contact you like this because I couldn’t bear the thought of you not understanding all the ways in which you changed me.
She had to take a breath and cradle it to her chest, her whole frame shaking as she wept. Gods the ways in which Himiko had changed HER.
When my Ochako came back we talked a lot about you, about how grateful we were to know about your world. We cried a lot too, especially Ochako, about the thought of a world where she didn’t have me, where she’d had to watch me die. What you said to me about marriage really stuck with me so I bit the bullet and asked Ochako. We got married last week and I’m writing this from our honeymoon, believe it or not! I wore the spider lily pin you gave me as part of my wedding dress because I so wanted you to be there with us - I have no idea if the photo will survive crossing dimensions, but I’ve put it in anyway.
Ultimately I wanted you to be able to see the life that you saved, Ochako.
Happy as I am to have my Ochako back I find myself missing you too. I guess I’m just greedy like that. I always wanted you both.
So let me tell you all of my hopes for you, my little Otherchako.
I hope you honour yourself, your desires, your dreams and don’t feel obligated to me, to my memory. You’ve more than honoured my life. Your ongoing existence is honouring my life.
I hope you’re happy, Ochako. I hope you’ve found or you will find someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I hope you’re with them until you can meet your me again.
Most of all, I hope you finally understand how incredible you are, the gift that you are to the world. I’m entirely unsurprised that your Himiko chose to give her life to save your precious one.
The best way to repay her ultimate expression of love for you is to live you life valuing it as highly as she did.
It’s been a wonderful thing to realise that in every universe I really do love Ochako Uraraka.
Go be free, Ochako-chan.
I love you,
Your Himiko Uraraka xx
She pressed the letter to her heart, weeping, so thankful that Himiko had worked so hard to get this to her. Just as her breathing was returning to something approaching normal she realised there was another letter on the reverse. She gasped as she recognised her own script.
Hi Ochako, it’s Ochako!
How bizarre.
Just wanna say, no hard feelings for sleeping with my girl you know - I guess I can’t be annoyed if it was basically me?
Ochako’s cheeks flared but she was relieved it hadn’t been an issue between them. She was unsurprised that Otherchako had immediately forgiven her, even if she can imagine she was a little jealous.
For me, the whole experience was like a brief flash. Time must pass differently between our dimensions or something. But I appreciate you had nearly ten days here, had time to get into a rhythm of a new life. I can imagine it wasn’t easy to leave.
Ochako smiled. She had no idea.
Mostly, I wanted to thank you for talking some sense into Himiko so I could make the girl I loved my wife. I can’t even explain how happy it made me and I know she would never have changed her mind if she hadn’t met you.
I hope you get the chance to make a pretty girl your wife one day too, to experience the joy that comes with being your full self.
Please don’t waste time trying to delude yourself into thinking you’re straight. Ask a girl out. Try something new. You’re a catch, Ochako!
You’re also astonishingly strong. How you’ve survived without Himiko, how you’ve honoured her life, has amazed and inspired us both. At the very least, I’m working hard on replicating your quirk awakening so I can be as much of a badass as you.
Thank you for everything and thank you for letting me come home.
I’ll always be rooting for you, my little fauxravity.
Lots of love,
Ochako (the original & best)
She laughed, shaking her head fondly.
She hadn’t lost Himiko at all. She had gained an impossible and precious gift.
The gift of time, of perspective, of a chance to make changes that would never have even occurred to her.
She dreamt of her own Himiko that night, forever seventeen.
Himiko was grinning from the moment she saw her, embracing her tightly, that beautiful big smile making all of her emotions rush to the surface.
“Oh Ochako-chan, I knew eventually you would understand. I’m so glad I could be the one to help you.”
She held her close, breathing her in.
“I wish I could have had it all with you, Himiko-chan. I wish it could have been our world. But I promise I’ll stop punishing myself for what I couldn’t save. I’ll live better for us both.”
Himiko laughed and squeezed Ochako’s cheeks tightly.
“Oh silly Ochako-chan. I just want you to be happy as your true self. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
*~*~*~*
Ochako smoothed down her dress and put her earrings in, listening to the click of heels in the next room with a smile.
It was two years after her adventure to an alternate universe, to when she had the joy of seeing Himiko as an Uraraka, alive, well, and loved. It had changed everything for her, and for many of the others too.
She ran her fingers over the framed photo of Otherchako and Himiko’s wedding, smiling at their joy as she always did.
Their letter had healed her in ways she didn’t entirely understand but which her therapist had broadly surmised as closure. It made her feel like she could build a different life, one that still honoured the girl she had loved and lost but which created space for authentic love in her present too.
“You nearly ready, baby?”
Nejire’s beautiful face poked around the corner, smiling at her. She was definitely her favourite change.
“How do I look?”
She twirled around before grinning in the mirror and Nejire bounded in, enthusiastically welcoming any opportunity to complement her girlfriend.
“Dazzling as ever, gorgeous girl. Gonna have to fight off suitors for the new number 10 hero.”
Ochako snorted. “Oh I’m pretty sure they don’t stand a chance against the number 5 hero who just so happens to be the most beautiful date in the whole world.”
Nejire nuzzled into her neck with a contented sigh and it took all of her self-control to resist tearing her clothes off and forgetting about leaving altogether, but presumably it wouldn’t look great if Izuku’s ex-situationship didn’t turn up to his wedding.
They heard a horn outside and Nejire untangled from her with a groan.
“That’ll be Mirio - I’ll take our bags down to him if you’re okay locking up when you’re done?”
She nodded, admiring her girlfriend as she walked away. When she heard the door click she rifled to the bottom of her sock drawer, removing the precious box. They were staying at a resort for the long weekend after the wedding, hero phones turned off, three blissful days of peace and quiet and hopefully barely leaving their room. She could think of no better time to do it.
She opened the box and showed the ring to the photo of Himiko and Otherchako.
“You’ll be very pleased to know I’m taking your advice and hopefully making a pretty girl my wife.”
*~*~*~*