The consequence of driving drunk (Driver’s ed short story)

by RiversideFlora

Summary:

Awakening on her deathbed is a wake up call too late. Ophelia mourns for what she’s leaving behind.

 

Constructive criticism requested and encouraged! I’m really quite proud of this! I added a lot of info to my thought process and story details in my notes that I’d be ecstatic if someone would read and maybe debate about with me!

Ophelia wasn't suicidal. It didn't matter what happened, she would never even let the idea cross her mind. She had so much to live for, even if it was a struggle to get through a week more often than not. This was never meant to happen. She had so much to live for. Esther, Ophelias young daughter, was to celebrate her ninth birthday in just a few days. Ophelia had just gotten a huge promotion, and a massive pay raise. Things had been looking up for the first time in a long time.

Why had it happened? Why now? Every few days Ophelia would get drunk, even though she knew it was a dangerous hole to fall down. She always drove back home. It wasn't as if it was far, only a few miles from the bar to the apartment where Esther would always be asleep already, the next door neighbor waiting for the promised pay for babysitting. Ophelia knew the danger. Hadn't her own father died after getting drunk and driving his car into a lake?

It didn't matter now though. Ophelia got drunk, like she always did, and drove home, like she always did. It had been hours since the collision. One minute everything was fine, like it always was. The next minute, the world erupted in agonizing pain, so badly it caused her to blackout. She was awake now, listening to her own heartbeat. She was going to die. The doctors told her they were doing what they could, they told her there was a chance. But she knew she was going to die.

Oh, did Esther know? Would she find out the very next morning, excited to tell her mother the dream she had? The police told her that if she survived she would go to jail for causing the death of a young man. But it didn't matter. Ophelia was going to die. They say your hearing is the last of the five senses to go. The last thing Ophelia heard was the flat line of her own heart monitor.

Ophelia wasn't suicidal. But she might as well have been.

Notes:

Like I said, any and all criticism is welcome! I just ask that it’s genuinely constructive and not hurtful for the sake of being hurtful. Tell me what I did good. Tell me what I did bad. Tell me how I can improve. Many lines are meant to be in italics for emphasis but I can’t be bothered to fix it right now.

I did this in like under an hour, and like I already said, for my driver’s ed class. I haven’t really written anything that could be considered creative in several years. Honestly I’m really proud of it, so proud I volunteered to say it out loud, although I was SHAKING from the anxiety lolol!! I got a ton of clapping after I finished!

I think that Ophelia represents what I could become, in a way. I have it implied that Ophelia is a single mother, with a father out of the picture as a babysitter is necessary. Although I hope that will never happen to me. More so what I mean as Ophelia representing what I could be is her clear alcoholism, which both my parents have struggled with in the past. I wanted to add some more details on her struggle with mental health, something I struggle with now. And like Ophelia I would never purposefully end my life. Buuuuuut I didn’t have the time or space on the paper.

Anyone who knows me knows that names and the meanings they hold are such a passion for me! Any character I give life to will have a name that I believe represents them. Ophelia is named for tragedy. Everyone knows Shakespeare’s Ophelia from Hamlet. The name itself means ‘help’ but I use it in relation to Shakespeare’s character more so than the meaning. With how I repeat twice my Ophelia is not suicidal, and Shakespeare’s Ophelia is said to have killed herself. Although the meaning ‘help’ could be seen as a sort of irony, seeing as my Ophelia needed help she never received.

Esther is obviously not our main character, but her name is symbolic too because she’s still so important. Although I’d give even a background character a thoughtful name too. The name Esther means ‘star’, which is meant to represent how Esther is the most important thing in Ophelia’s life. Esther is Ophelia’s light. Esther’s whole character is meant to tug on the heartstrings of the reader. She’s an eight year old girl, who must be excited for her nearing birthday one day, and an orphan the next. I’d be tempted to do a POV from Esther, because of the tragedy I force onto her. A child POV would be interesting to play with!