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Jay kisses Sunghoon sometimes.
there’s nothing to it really, he just kisses him from time to time, when the urge strikes him particularly strong. because the truth is, Jay is always wanting to kiss Sunghoon, he just knows when to reel it in. like, when they’re on camera for example. or if the other members are around and seem to be in a mood where they’d tease them about it.
Jay doesn’t even remember when he first started doing it. it just seems so right, so obvious. him kissing Sunghoon. like, why wouldn’t he? the real question is, why is it such a big deal to everyone else?
he gets why he can’t do it on camera, that’d mess with their idol images, and it would embarrass Sunghoon. that’s the real reason Jay doesn’t kiss him as often as he would like to: because he doesn’t want to embarrass Sunghoon. Jay doesn’t find it embarrassing in the slightest, but it’s not like he doesn’t get why Sunghoon does. it’s not that being kissed by Jay is what embarrasses him, it’s the being in front of others that makes Sunghoon shy. so Jay makes sure that no one dares to tease Sunghoon about it, and he makes sure to limit the amount of teasing material.
then, one day, Sunghoon starts asking for kisses from Jay. this isn’t really that odd, given how Jay has witnessed him subtly and silently ask to be kissed in the past. the expectant sparkle in his pretty eyes as he blushes from Jay’s close proximity. the way he slightly tilts his head to give Jay a better angle before he is even leaning over, as if Sunghoon is able to predict when Jay is going to kiss him. but now, Sunghoon asks for kisses in much bolder ways.
sometimes, he verbally asks for a kiss, his shy and pleading voice making Jay’s heart squeeze. sometimes, he gently tugs on Jay’s shirt or hand, pulling him into a kiss. and, sometimes, if he really wants to drive Jay crazy, he presses himself against the front of Jay’s body and wraps his arms around Jay’s neck, eyes locked on his lips. and even still, sometimes, very rarely, Sunghoon kisses Jay before he has a chance to.
the most surprising thing, however, is that Sunghoon starts doing these things in front of the members.
the first time it happens, it’s just a tiny little “kiss me?” as Jay leans over him to give him seconds at dinner. Jay doubts anyone else heard. Jake, who is sitting the closest to them, is laughing loudly at something someone else said, and he only briefly glances over as Jay happily obliges with a swift peck to Sunghoon’s lips. no one mentions the kiss, but Jay watches (with a smug smirk) as Sunghoon tries to hide his blush and growing smile.
from there, things develop much faster. the members hardly react at first, giving Sunghoon a boost in confidence to not only kiss Jay more, but to be more physically affectionate. a lazy kiss on his jaw early in the morning that smells like coffee. a hand brushing against his as they slip past each other in the hallway. arms around his waist and a body pressed against his back while he cooks dinner. a sleepy Sunghoon in his bed begging for cuddles late at night. Sunghoon still in his bed, still in his arms, after waking up, and expecting a good morning kiss.
it’s driving Jay crazy.
their relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is, has only ever been sweet and innocent. chaste. Jay used to have no complaints about that. but now? he might have one or two.
Jay wonders if anyone can see it in his eyes, when he looks at Sunghoon. he’s not sure he wants his members to see it, and he’s definitely sure he doesn’t want Engenes to see it. but he wonders if Sunghoon can see if. if Sunghoon knows. if Sunghoon feels it too.
after moving into their new dorm, with each member getting their own room, Jay gets answers.
the second night they spend in their new dorm, Jay finds Sunghoon sitting on his bed. a very pleasant sight that is both familiar and brand new. “hey,” Jay says with a bright smile.
“hey,” Sunghoon says, unable to meet Jay’s eyes. his long, slender fingers fidgeting in his lap.
oh. Jay's heart starts beating a little faster, and he sits close next to Sunghoon. “what’s up?” he asks, lowly, carefully, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.
Sunghoon shifts, turning himself to face Jay, his legs curling up under him. he moves closer, his knees bumping against Jay’s arm. Jay moves his arm in response, planting his hand flat against the sheets next to Sunghoon, caging him in. Sunghoon’s eyes only briefly glance up at Jay’s before landing on his lips, one of his hands grasping the front of Jay’s tank top. he hardly has to tug before Jay is kissing him, lips soft and sweet like always.
Jay pulls back quickly. his hand on the bed fists the sheets, and he wipes his other clammy hand on his jeans. if Sunghoon just glances up, tilts his chin just a little, he would meet Jay’s eyes and see the dark, burning desire the older man is trying to keep in check.
Sunghoon looks up, and all the air is knocked out of Jay’s lungs. there, in Sunghoon’s pretty eyes, is the same fiery desire Jay feels, reflecting back at him.
“kiss me more?” Sunghoon asks, and Jay wastes no time to do just that.
it’s a gradual change. the gentle press of their lips slides into something a little deeper, and Sunghoon tilts his head a little. Jay puts a hand on the nape of Sunghoon’s neck, pulling him even more into the kiss. completely in sync, they open their mouths at the same time, both of them accepting and reciprocating simultaneously. the languid motions of their tongues pull a moan from Sunghoon, who is cradling Jay’s jaw with both hands and crawling onto his lap. Jay’s hand on his neck slides into his hair, and Jay’s other hand rests on his waist.
when they finally part to breathe, they don’t go far, resting their foreheads together. Sunghoon’s thumbs brush Jay’s cheekbones tenderly. Jay smooths down the hair he ruffled up, and his other hand rubs up and down Sunghoon’s side. Jay feels Sunghoon shiver against him, and he smiles before pressing a light kiss to the corner of Sunghoon’s mouth.
“so pretty,” Jay mutters. “so good.”
Sunghoon whines, and presses his face into Jay’s neck, wrapping his arms around Jay’s shoulders. “you too,” he whispers, and the words tickle Jay’s skin.
Jay puts his arms around Sunghoon, and holds him close. he trails kisses down Sunghoon’s temple and cheek, anywhere he can reach. Sunghoon lifts his head, bearing his neck for Jay, who presses open-mouth kisses there. another whine bubbles up Sunghoon’s throat, as Jay torments him with passionate kisses that are still gentle enough to not leave any marks.
at some point, Sunghoon ends up on his back with Jay hovering over him, kissing down his neck and across his collarbones. Sunghoon paws at Jay’s shoulders, and Jay pauses briefly to look up at him. “Jay-hyung,” Sunghoon gasps, before crashing their lips together in a heated kiss.
they spend the night together like this, tangled up in each other’s arms. it’s a little awkward at first, and, just like everything else between them, it builds up slowly. but it’s perfect. and, when its over, they’re glowing, happy and content.
lazy make-out sessions start to become more and more frequent between them after that. Sunghoon still claims residence in one half of Jay’s bed more nights than he doesn’t. Jay still kisses Sunghoon whenever he can, and Sunghoon still asks for kisses as well.
Jay can’t really say what made the other members decide to start acknowledging it, but even that is a slow process.
it starts with amused smiles and knowing glances. and a few obnoxious winks. but then the teasing starts. vague statements said so dryly that they could be referencing just about anything, but Jay knows. and, from how flustered he gets, Sunghoon knows too.
Jay watches the shift in Sunghoon’s behavior. sees the way he shies away from his touches, his kisses, more and more often. and he sees the apologetic look in his pretty eyes, silently pleading Jay to understand. and Jay does understand. with Sunghoon, he always understands.
privately, nothing changes. they don’t even talk about the teasing, or Sunghoon’s aversion to it. a fire has been lit between them, and neither one of them have any intention of quelling it.
but then, one day, the teasing no longer seems to bother Sunghoon as much. Jay isn’t sure when the change happened, or why. one day Sunghoon is turning bright red just by making eye contact with him, and the next he’s sitting himself in Jay’s lap and kissing him straight on the lips in front of all the members.
and the members, of course, all have something to say. but Jay is hardly paying any attention to them. his eyes are focused on his love, his light, his one and only.
his Sunghoon.