Work Text:
Erurihan Week
Cold
The managed to make it to a cave. Hange dropped to his knees and breathed hard.
“We made it!” he said. Levi was already setting about making a fire and Erwin peeled off his wet things. Hange took of his wet jacket, boots and socks. He stopped briefly and glanced over at the two men.
“One of the blankets in my pack might be dry,” he said. Erwin nodded. Hange was a curious young man, with a strange way of carrying himself. He flopped around more akin to a desperate, stray dog than a human being. But that was what Erwin found so endearing. That and his warm brown eyes and sweet smile. But Erwin knew he had better things to do than fawn over well performing recruits.
The fire was lit and cast a warm glow across the cold cave. Levi also began to take off his wet things and set them to dry near the fire. Erwin followed suit. Hange pulled out the blanket.
“It’s dry!” he said triumphantly. “I have two!”
“We’ll huddle for warmth,” Erwin said. Levi rolled his eyes and agreed.
“Hey, Shit for Glasses. Take off your wet things you’ll get sick,” he said. Hange swallowed.
“Ah...in a minute...” he said. Erwin had no idea what he could be fumbling for in his pack, he kept going over the same things again and again. Erwin came over and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Take off your wet things and join us by the fire, that’s an order,” he said. Hange sighed.
“Yeah...I mean, yes sir!” he said. Hange slid off his pants and set them by the fire. Erwin had always known Hange to be lanky and thin, but his boxers sagged like there was nothing in them.
“Your shirt too, it’s not going to dry completely if you wear it,” Levi said. Hange clenched his fists.
“I...I have an injury,” he said. “Don’t be alarmed.”
“I didn’t know you were injured,” Erwin said. “Why was I not informed? I put you in very dangerous situations not knowing this. I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing I...” he sighed. “You’ll see.”
He lifted his shirt over his head. Thick, white bandages were wrapped tightly around his chest. Erwin was confused.
“That looks bad. Has it stopped bleeding?” he asked.
“Y-yes.”
“When did you get such a serious injury?” he asked.
Hange ran his hands through his hair. “It’s an old wound.”
“If you’re still binding it, it must cause you more trouble than you’re letting on.”
“He’s binding his chest,” Levi said.
“I realize this—”
“He’s binding his breasts.”
Hange’s face flushed pink.
“How did...how did you…?” Hange said.
“I'm sorry to out you like this, but I'm not letting you die from pneumonia like she—like so many other people I know,” Levi said.
Erwin met eyes with Hange and tilted his head.
“You’re a woman?” he asked.
“Not...exactly,” Hange said.
“This is serious Hange. You know women can enlist in the army with no problems and yet you still chose to masquerade as a man and—”
Hange covered his face.
“I’m not a woman. I’m not a man. I’m not anything. I don’t know where I fit, I don’t know!” he said.
“It that why you rarely bathe? So no one will see you naked?” Levi asked.
“Yes,” she said. “I’ve risked a lot, but...I’ve never felt right as a woman. I always felt wrong. So I decided to give being a man a try. See if it fit.”
“And?”
“I don’t know. It’s not quite me either.” He sat down. “I’m not sure what to do.”
They were all silent.
“Am I in trouble?” she asked.
Erwin pressed his lips into a thin line before responding.
“You perform too well for us to spare you. We'll chalk it up to a processing error,” he said.
“You need to take those bindings off,” Levi said.
“But I—”
“That’s not a safe way to bind your breasts long term. I’ll bet you have bruises, don’t you,” Levi said.
Hange looked away and tried to keep himself from shivering whether from pain or from cold, Erwin wasn't sure. He didn't quite understand his desire to hold Hange close and tenderly kiss the unbruised skin careful not to hurt him more. Since he could not do that, he settled for the next best thing.
“Since your bandages are probably wet and they’ll constrict. Take them off, we won’t look,” Erwin said.
Hange sighed. “I don’t care if you see.”
He turned away from them and Erwin could see as he unraveled angry red, brown and purple bruises along his ribs. He felt bad for him. Levi tossed Hange one of the blankets and he pulled it around himself.
“I know a few prostitutes who have a better way to bind breasts,” Levi said.
“Why would prostitutes bind their breasts?” Hange asked.
“People have different kinks,” Levi said. “If I get one for you, promise me you’ll wear it.”
“Your living situation could pose a problem. We’ll have to move you from the men's barracks. I'm not sure I fully understand your gender, but I know how men will perceive your appearance if you're ever seen naked. I can't risk that. We'll move you into the spare room in the hospital wing,” Erwin said. “I’ll fix your paper work just a bit. May I suggest we leave the gender section blank?”
Hange nodded. “Okay.”
“Should we use ‘they’ for you from now on?” Levi asked. Hange looked down and nodded.
“I like that,” they said.
“Now stop standing so far from the fire and come under the blanket with us. You're not allowed to catch your death of cold,” Levi said. They came over and sat between the two men.
“You’re...you're both...important,” Erwin said. “If it's in my power to help you, I'm going to.”
Hange nodded. They all moved closer together. They were warm, they were validated, they were--for the time being--safe.