Chapter Text
Tim gets back to the tower he and y/n are hiding out at in the odd hours of the morning. He shuffles under the plywood they had left over the opening, doing his best not to disturb the sleeping woman. He sets his godforsaken mask down on an old crate in the corner. They need to move again soon.
Y/n is beginning to trust him more by this point, starting to accept that he isn’t in this situation of his own free will. He had realized months ago, when they had first become friends, just how much he liked her. He didn’t know that the other side of him felt the same. It scared him- still scares him. He doesn’t want him to hurt her. He can’t always control the darkness.
She awakes to his fidgeting, the dry pine straw on the ground of the old red tower shuffling with his movements.
“Tim?” she asks groggily.
“Oh. hey, y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you-“
”It’s ok. I was already waking up anyway. Did… did that thing call you again?”
”…yeah. I don’t remember much of what happened. One moment I’m here with you… the next…”
”It’s ok. I understand.”
”Thank you.”
She’s kind. Patient. Understanding.
He learned it that first day he went to her dorm.
Terrified, sleep deprived, paranoid, and not in a good state of mind.
But she barely flinched, just inviting him in. Letting him stay the day.
Letting him feel safe.
Almost even getting his hopes up.
He didn’t want to get her involved in this mess.
But it seems no matter how hard he tries, anyone he gets close to will get sucked into this nightmare.
For years he had tried not to feel anything, tried not to get attached.
But then this fucking woman had to stumble into his life.
Had to be so patient. So kind. Had to tempt him, make him crave her company.
The dark part of him wanted to own her. Wanted to break her.
He struggles to control it.
And it only got harder as he got to know her.
As he got to care about her.
As he started to want- no, need her.
But she didn’t feel the same.
She can’t feel the same.
Not if she is going to get out of this alive.
“Tim? Are you okay? You kinda zoned out.”
”Oh- yeah, sorry. Just… thinking…”
”About what?”
She sits up, her eyes bright as she watches him.
He glances around, clearly nervous, struggling to come up with a believable lie.
“Uh… just… where we need to move to next.”
”You sure that’s all?”
“Uh… yeah…”
She scowls, but doesn’t press further. She definitely doesn’t buy his lie. But she doesn’t need to. She just can’t know the truth.
She can’t know how he feels.
It will only put her in more danger.
She reaches across the cramped space, softly taking his hand in hers.
“Lay with me. You need to rest.”
His mind is sent into turmoil over the simple action. He wants to. Fuck, he needs to. Not just rest, but be near her. His only source of sanity. Of hope.
But he can’t. He can’t risk getting attached, letting the other side of him out, putting her in danger.
And yet, he still sits beside her on the old cot. Doesn’t fight or resist when she softly pushes him to recline beside her.
But when she goes to lay her head on his chest, he freezes up.
“Y/n-“
”Tim, it's ok. You need to rest. Stop worrying. I’ll be here. I’ll keep you safe.”
If only she knew.
He’s trying to keep her safe.
Not just from that thing.
But from himself.
She had pieced it together the past few months.
The strange man that left her cryptic notes wasn’t exactly him, but also wasn’t not him.
Whether it was a side effect of exposure to the creature or just another mental disorder he struggles with, neither of them know.
But she’s understanding as always.
Her kind nature is going to put her in danger.
He just hopes it won’t be from him.
Eventually, he relaxes under her. Even allows himself to enjoy the affection.
She just wants to feel safe. Or help me feel safe. She doesn’t feel the same as me. She can’t feel the same as I do.
They drift off together for a bit, but soon awake to the sun and the birds.
Y/n is still laying her head on his chest.
She’s awake, tired eyes gazing up at his own.
“How did you sleep, Tim?”
He loves how she says his name.
“Uh… alright. You?”
He struggles to maintain composure. The reality of the situation is setting in.
They- or really, he- has avoided sharing the cot with her all this time. Trying to keep his distance.
Trying to make the feelings he has towards her disappear.
It hits him at that moment- he can’t keep running from his feelings.
“I slept pretty well… better since you were with me.”
She smiles, her expression somehow still soft despite the hard life he has unwittingly dragged her into.
He’s a bit shocked at the latter part of her sentence.
“Wh..what do you mean?”
”I slept better than usual. I think because you were here with me this time.”
“Oh.”
She gets a bit antsy and embarrassed, her cheeks growing warm.
“Sorry… that’s… kinda weird to say, I guess. I just… I feel more comfortable when you’re with me. Safer. Especially since we’ve been on the run.”
Fuck. No. This… she can’t. She isn’t supposed to. She's going to be in danger.
“It’s.. it's ok. I.. it was nice to be here with you.”
The bright gleam returns to her eyes, and she cuddles up next to him, her face getting dangerously near his neck.
What if I can’t control myself? What if she starts something and I’m too weak to stop it?
She hums as she lay beside him, strangely content despite the atrocious circumstances.
“You… you know I care about you, right? I’m not upset at you about any of this… you’ve honestly… you’ve been the best part of this mess.”
She seems uncertain as the words leave her mouth.
Maybe not uncertain.
Nervous? Flustered? Apprehensive?
”Y-yeah… I.. care about you too, y/n. You’ve…” He takes a sharp inhale, but before he can doubt himself, he says it; “You’ve been the best part of my life since I met you. The best thing- the only good thing- in my life in… years..”
He regrets it immediately.
He’s going to get her in trouble.
This is too dangerous for her.
He’s a source . He can’t get close to people.
And he can’t let people get close to him.
But she just smiles and buries her face in his neck.
His breathing hitches.
She notices.
But still she continues.
He wars with himself. He wants her. Wants whatever is happening to continue, he never wants it to end. But he can’t. He cares about her too much. He can’t endanger her like-
His train of thought is cut short as he feels her leave a soft kiss on his neck.
He shivers, turning to look at her.
Her eyes are hopeful, curious, and… something else. He can’t quite place it.
Her voice drops to a whisper.
“Tim… I….”
He kisses her before she can say anything.
No. I can’t. I need to stop. I need to keep her safe. And keeping her safe means keeping her away from me.
But her lips… feel so nice.
Her hands instinctively shoot to his chest, but she doesn’t push him away.
After only a moment of surprise, she kisses him back.
And when he tries to pull away, as his worries for her safety come to the forefront of his mind…
She won’t let him. Tangling her fingers in his dark hair, she keeps him locked against her lips.
He can only resist for so long.
Especially when she uses one hand to ghost over his skin, trailing her fingertips over his back, making him shiver against her.
Something inside him snaps.
He stops holding back and his reservations fade.
He grasps the nape of her neck, soft but firm, keeping her in place so he can deepen their kiss.
He nips at her bottom lip, taking his chance to intertwine their mouths, wanting- needing- to taste every bit of her.
Small noises escape her throat as he continues.
He’s addicted. He needs to hear more, taste more. Feel more. See more. He needs all of her.
An almost primal noise escapes him as he adjusts so he’s leaning over her. He kisses her lips, to her cheek, down to her jaw…
Ghosting his lips over her throat, he sighs, starting to shake as he attempts to reconcile his mind, trying desperately to control himself.
All control is lost when she presses her lips to his forehead and utters one word.
She’s breathless, her tone almost needy as she says it.
” Please”.
He’s still shaking as he moves his lips back to her neck.
His voice comes out low.
“Fuck… I’ve wanted you… so badly… I need you so much. I tried not to. I can’t. Not anymore.” His breath is shaky as he confesses.
“I can’t keep holding back.”
He uses the last ounce of self control to pull himself away, looking at her with longing, not allowing himself to escalate this further.
He still shivers, every part of him tense and conflicted.
But y/n makes the impossible decision for him.
She pulls him back, recapturing his lips with her own.
She whimpers, overcome with her own want.
She drags her lips away from his, instead trailing over his face and neck, leaving the softest of kisses all across his skin.
“How could you think I didn’t need you, too, Tim?”
She whispers in his ear. For the first time, he hears the despairing meaning behind her words.
He had agonized for months.
He didn’t even consider that maybe she felt the same.
Didn’t even give her the choice to try or not.
So he does the only reasonable thing.
“I’m sorry, y/n. I… wanted to protect you.”
She smiles, her wounded emotions hidden perfectly.
“You idiot. I’m in this mess to protect you. So let me care about you.”
Her voice lowers, taking on an almost husky tone.
“Let me take care of you.”
Tim’s breath hitches, understanding the suggestion beneath her tone.
He relents.
His mouth meets her neck, teeth grazing her skin. He’ll make it known just how much he needs her.
He can feel the dark part of him bubbling beneath the surface.
He will make it known that he owns her.
An animalistic growl leaves the man, the two sides of him both at war yet in agreement.
She belongs to him.
He bites her throat, kissing over it, tasting her skin, using his lips to paint her flesh with the evidence of his claim.
Her whimpers and whines work him up further, drawing the dark part dangerously close to the forefront.
He can’t let it out. Not now.
At some point, he gets fully atop her, one of his knees pressing between her thighs as he lavishes her neck with attention.
Her hands roam his body, leaving his nerves aflame everywhere she touches.
He begins to do the same, tracing his rough hands over her skin, kneading her flesh, gripping her hips and holding her flush to him.
Soft sounds continue to escape her throat, delicate and desperate whimpers the most beautiful music to his ears. His own noises mingle with hers, his deeper voice coming out in growls as he shows her just how badly he needs her.
He slips his hands under her shirt, a pleasurable groan escaping him as she shivers at his touch. He removes the piece of clothing from her frame, paying no mind to where it lands.
All that matters to him in this moment is her.