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Ever since that argument atop the lava, Firey couldn’t stop looking at her .
She just seemed… off…
Usually, Firey wouldn’t have paid attention to how she was acting, let alone to her as a whole. But after knowing the leaf for seven years, it was as clear as day to him that something was wrong.
Sure, the two weren’t exactly friends-
“Of COURSE we’re still friends.”
… Okay, they were still friends. At least to Firey. And friends make sure each other are okay. He didn’t know what was wrong with her, but he’d do anything to make it better, because god, did that fake smile hurt him.
It had been a few episodes since their fight. Coiny and Pin had left, which made this even harder. Sure, Coiny could be a real moron at times, but he gave good advice. Firey usually asked him about things regarding Leafy. He was her friend after all.
But that had made Firey question whether he was actually still her friend. Whether he even deserved that title.
Unfortunately, those two lovebirds had left to join TPOT together, which just left Leafy and Firey.
Even worse, they had changed teams, so he wasn’t even on her team anymore.
He couldn’t just text her, that would be weird! Plus, there was no one from the Have Cots that would actually help him. Gelatin might, but he’s way too nosy. Firey wouldn’t be able to get away from drawing more attention to the matter.
So instead of going to reconcile or check in with her, he stood amongst his teammates, silently running a hand through his disheveled flames.
Firey and his team were already outside, making a plan for the next contest. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. That smile… It sent shivers down his spine. Something about it just felt so uncanny to Firey. It was unfamiliar. Way too unfamiliar.
Screw it.
Even if the others realised that he cared, at least Leafy would too.
He strolled over to her, Taco arching an eyebrow, yet not saying anything.
“... H-hey Leafy. Can I talk to you for a second?” God- Why did now have to be the time he stumbled over his words? Firey silently cursed himself, managing a soft smile. Leafy glanced back at him, that smile from her face faltering for a moment… Man, it was painful. The other Have Cots just stared at him, Gelatin looking absolutely dumbfounded, while Lollipop was just confused.
“... Alone?” He spoke up again, trying to get his point across. Leafy nodded.
“Sure…” Why was her smile only faltering around him ? Was this bad? Was this a sign? There were too many questions in Firey’s mind, and not enough answers.
The two of them headed to another part of the ruins, out of earshot from the others. Firey sighed softly, turning to face her. That soft smile that was on his face had been replaced with a small frown, his brows furrowed, a hint of concern mingling into his expression.
“Leafy, is everything okay? Are you okay?”
“What?”
This was gonna be difficult.
Firey sighed, making eye contact with Leafy. “I know you’re hiding something from us. That smile is so… fake. This isn’t you, Leafy. What’s wrong?” He says softly, his voice gentle. It was a stark difference from his usual, hostile or blank expression.
“I appreciate the concern, Firey, but I’m fine, honestly!” She smiles, trying to ride off his concern. Firey just stared at her, dumbfounded.
“See? You’re not acting like yourself! “I appreciate the concern”? You’re speaking like- like some sort of office manager! When have you ever said that to anyone? When have you ever said that to me..? ” His voice drops, almost to a whisper with his hands resting against his chest. Firey’s concern and worry was being held back by a dam that was threatening to break.
“... I’m fine, Firey-”
“No, you’re not. I know something’s wrong. Why won’t you tell me?” He says, his eyes narrowing as he made eye contact with Leafy. He seemed hurt almost, and that alone tore her apart. She sighed softly. Even after all of this time, he was still just as stubborn as before. Yes, she had missed it, but right now, she had a few other things to worry about…
“Firey, you should go back to your team. They must be waiting for you,” She said softly, avoiding eye contact with him.
"I don’t give a damn about them right now,” Firey had to fight the urge to stop himself from just pulling her into a hug and begging her until she told him what was wrong. He rested his hands against her shoulders, looking at her with pleading eyes.
“I care about you, okay? If something is wrong, I want to know. You can tell me, We’ll get through it together,” He says softly, gently squeezing her shoulder.
Leafy stayed silent for a few moments, her facade shattering slightly.
“... I’m sorry. My team is calling me,” Firey’s heart drops. Why was she keeping this a secret? He wanted to help her…
…
Without thinking, Leafy hugged Firey, not saying anything. Firey almost gasped in shock, stumbling back slightly. He didn’t move, afraid that if he did, she’d just disappear…
“I’m sorry, Fireball,” And that was the last thing she said to him, before pulling away, leaving him alone again.
*****
Firey was pacing across his room. Most of the Have Cots had left, leaving Firey and Leafy at their conjoined house. What could he do? Why wasn’t she telling him what was wrong? What was going on? Was this because of what he had said..?
What was he doing?
Firey should be checking in on her, not pacing in his room like a coward. Even if it ruined his reputation, he had to check on her. Something was seriously wrong…
He walked out of his room, noticing the door to Leafy’s room slightly open…
… He peered through. She wasn’t there…
Firey spotted a few letters atop her bedside table. He hesitated, feeling his palms becoming sweaty. Luckily, he was metal. He almost always was, just in case he set the house on fire.
Firey realised that the letters were addressed to groups of people. Tree, her older brother. The Have Cots. Pin and Coiny-
Wait, was that his name..?
Firey picked it up cautiously, opening the letter…
'Hey Firey.
If you're reading this, I'm most likely dead.
I never thought that I'd have to be writing a letter like this to you, to anyone. If someone told my BFDI self that I would be leaving like this, permanently, I would have asked if they needed my help. God, how things have changed since then... You deserve to know why I did this. We may not be best friends right now, but we used to be. I... hope you can understand why.
You meant everything to me, Firey. My Firey, My Fireball... You're so kind, loyal and determined. You're... my best friend.
You… used to be my best friend...
I'm sorry I had to ruin everything. I'm sorry I had to steal the island. I was so angry, I lost sense of what mattered - Our friendship. I miss being your best friend. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...
After the whole Dream Island fiasco, I've been overwhelmed with guilt and self-hate. I don't know if you can find the heart to forgive me, but I'm sorry. This whole mess is my fault. With everyone hating me because of it, I can't do this anymore. Everyday feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from. I can't forgive myself for what I've done to you- to the others.
All the others already dislike me because of what happened. I know this is a bad choice, but it's the only way. I've already written letters to the others, but it's only now that I feel like I might regret this choice. Even if I do, it's too late. I've already gotten the knife, no one is home except for you. This is my only chance.
Please, don't blame yourself for any of this. Using the knife and writing these notes, it was my choice, not yours. You didn't do anything for this to happen. If anyone were to have saved me, it would have been you. You were already worried about me and that fake smile, and I'm sorry I had to lie to you. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry...
Smile for me. Smile for the Have Cots. Forget about me. Forget and be happy. Please.
Thank you. Thank you for being my closest friend. I've cherished every moment we've had, but I can't handle all of this anymore. Please, forgive me.
Maybe one day we can meet again, Fireball. Maybe we can fix what we've lost.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
- Leafs’
Firey’s legs had been turned into jelly, his head overcrowded with horrible thoughts, like a thousand bees trying to pollinate a single flower. His heart felt like it had been put through the underworld and back.
Nononoononnononono this couldn’t be happening…
This couldn't…
“LEAFY!”
Firey was not going to lose her. She didn’t deserve this. Not her. Not now.
His breath quickened, his chest growing more and more tight with every second of silence.
Every second of horror.
“LEAFY, PLEASE-!”
…
A horrifying, squelching sound came from the bathroom. Firey felt his blood run cold as he glanced at it, before racing to the door, trying to open it.
IT WAS LOCKED?!
“LEAFY, PLEASE, STAY IN THERE!” Firey grew more and more desperate, noticing her chair. He snatched it without a second thought, ramming it into the door. With the ram from a chair and a kick from Firey, the door swung open, leaving Firey facing the most horrifying thing he would ever see.
There lay Leafy, but not the Leafy he knew. She had a knife clutched in one hand, leaning against the wall, blood smeared across the bathroom tiles. She was breathing heavily, blood seeping through the wound on her chest.
The multiple wounds…
Firey stood there for a moment, horror washing over him, before he cried out.
“LEAFY!”
He rushed to her, collapsing to his knees while putting the knife aside, his entire body trembling. Firey cradled her weak body in his arms, tears rolling past his cheeks as he sobbed uncontrollably.
Firey had never cried before.
It stung. But seeing her like this felt like being drowned alive.
“N-no, no, stay in there, okay? W-what did you do?!” He mumbled, his tears mixing with the scarlet, warm liquid dripping down from her stomach.
Leafy cracked a soft smile.
“... W-... why are you… c-crying..?” Her voice was raspy and weak, but it was still her voice. The voice he loved. The voice he had missed.
“W- Y-you’re bleeding! W-what if you-... N-no… Y-you can’t….” Firey couldn’t even bring himself to say the words, his voice tight.
Leafy weakly brought her hand up, gently cupping his cheek. The gesture was so small, but it meant everything…. Firey gently pressed her hand up against his cheek, feeling tears soak it.
“B-but… I-it was easier… Y-you wouldn’t h-have… to deal with me… T-then… y-you’ll be… happy…” Those words, they completely shattered Firey’s heart.
This was his fault.
He was pushed her to this point.
“Because, if people think that I’m your friend, they’ll hate me TOO!”
God, how much he wished he could take back those words.
“N-no… I didn’t want t-this… I just wanted y-you… ” Leafy’s eyes widened for a moment, as she felt tears sting her eyes. Instinctively, she traced his cheek with her thumb.
“B-but I… ruined everything…”
“No, n-no… I ruined everything, okay..? I-I shouldn’t have pushed you away…”
“B-but, the… island..”
“No “buts”.... So what? I-it was a stupid island… Y-you mean so much m-more than that… I’m sorry, Leafs…” He spoke up quietly, feeling his voice break. He couldn’t afford to lose her… Not now…. Not like this…
“N-no… I-I’m sorry, Fireball…” Hearing her say that, it was like they were kids again…
“P-please… Y-you can’t l-leave me…” He pleads, his voice barely above a whisper. Living without Leafy was a living nightmare, he wouldn’t be able to face the world without her by his side.
“H-hey… Y-you’ll be okay… I-I know you will…”
“I-I’m sorry, Leafs… I-I was supposed to be your best friend… I-I was supposed to p-protect you…” Leafy’s expression softens as he speaks, unable to keep his voice steady.
“N-no… D-don’t apologise… W-we both made… s-some… m-... mistakes…” The way her voice broke off was like a stab to the heart for Firey.
“I-I should've made you s-smile..”
Leafy smiled weakly, still cupping his cheek…
“... B-but… you did…”
And that’s when it hit him.
This entire time, Leafy had been smiling. But it wasn’t that fake one he had seen before, no…
It was the one he had fallen in love with.
He choked back a sob, seeing his tears fall onto her wounds. “Y-you’re way too k-kind…”
“S-says you…” She teases, her voice still weak and raspy,, yet hinting at a playful tone. Firey cracked a small smile. They had always had this friendly banter between them… God, did he miss it…
Firey’s smile dropped again as he let out a sob. Now, he’d never be able to hear her laugh. Too see her smile…
“P-please… D-don’t leave me…” He cries, pleading, begging her. He should have done this long ago.
“... I-I’m sorry, Fireball…” She smiled weakly, as he noticed her hand reaching for the knife again. His eyes widened in horror as he placed his hand against hers, trembling too much to properly get a grip on it.
“N-no.. L-leafs, please… D-drop it …” He begged, tears soaking her hand that was cupping his cheek. She just smiled weakly.
“I-I’m so sorry…”
A sickening squelch came from the room, as she dropped the knife by her side, that smile still on her face as her body went limp in his arms.
“N-no, L-leafs, please…” Firey felt time stop around them… N-no, this had to just be a bad dream… This c-couldn’t be real…
“Leafy… P-please… C-come back…. C’mon… l-laugh, smile….”
Firey was met with silence, the sight engraved into his mind.
N-no…
This was his fault.
He had done this to her.
He had pushed her to her limit.
He should have been a better friend.
He should have protected her.
He should have kept her happy.
This was his fault.
He couldn’t do this. Not without her.
An idea suddenly popped into his mind…
…
His gaze shifted to the knife beside her limp hand…
Would he regret this? Yes.
But he needed her. He could barely go a day without seeing her, how would he do a lifetime? Leafy had meant everything to him. His world, his universe, his Leafs…Firey picked up the knife, a gut-wrenching cry coming from him as it plunged into his chest, pressing against his ribs. He could see the blood splattering onto the walls and his face, yet he continued .
Again.
Again.
Again
Again.
Again.
Firey collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t move.
Firey caught a glimpse of Leafy’s corpse, that smile still on her face… Even now, she was still so beautiful. Those green eyes that used to be filled with such life and child-like wonder… That smile that he had grown to love…
Firey used the last of his strength to push himself to her, cradling her limp body in his arms, trying his hardest not to shake…
“I-I’m here for y-you.. Leafs…I’m… c-coming…”
He weakly cupped her cheek, tracing his thumb over it like she had done with him, providing him a small bit of comfort amongst this haze.
Firey remembered a small song they used to sing together as kids. How their voices matched each other perfectly. How they would sing that melody, never getting tired of it…
“We’ll meet a-again.. Don’t know w-where… Don’t know when…. B-but I know we’ll… m-meet again… Some… sunny… day…”
A wave of exhaustion washed over him as he finally succumbed to the pain, closing his eyes as his breathing stopped.
“Keep… smiling through… Just like you always do… Till those blue skies make the dark clouds… go away…”
“...Leafy..?”