Work Text:
In and out.
Rhythmic breathing. A pulse. A routine.
In and out.
In,
An inhale. An upbeat. An opening.
Out.
An exhale. Downbeat. Closing. Release.
This is what kept Anya sane and in check. An in and out, a breathing cycle, a heartbeat. She took stock of the supply of medicine on ship –
500 tablets of acetaminophen.
55 gallons of disinfectant.
55 gallons of isopropyl alcohol.
50 yards of gauze.
7 pounds of cotton balls.
500 capsules of sleeping pills.
“ One, two, three, four… ” she muttered under her breath, using her thin fingers to keep track of every hundred she counted. She kept every number like a prayer. Memorized it, loved it, held it in her head long after the number left her lips. She had been well prepared for her medical school entry exams – knew all the answers, mnemonic devices, protocols, systems. It wasn't fair she ended up here drifting through the cold expanses of space. Not that she felt entitled to being admitted to medical school; she felt entitled to nothing. She understood the role she needed to play, and she knew her current position was her top priority. People needed her. Her crew needed her.
Anya tightened the safety cap on an orange bottle before storing it in the medicine cabinet, satisfied with her daily task of counting. She had to meet with the rest of the crew for an inspection tonight. When it was complete, then she could rest. She thought about what she'd like to do after inspection was over with. Maybe she would talk to Curly for a bit or try that board game with Daisuke again. She smiled to herself, recalling the most recent attempt at going against the younger intern at the game. She appreciated his energy aboard the ship. She certainly didn't have enough of it herself.
In and out.
“There’s our nurse,” the captain brightly smiled as Anya emerged from her medical office into the lounge area. The rest of the crew was seated among the sunset colored living space, looking as lively as ever (which wasn't very). Swansea looked asleep or in the process of falling asleep. Daisuke, Jimmy, and the captain were all seated next to one another, presumably having a trivial conversation as they waited for the nurse's return from her nightly duty.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to take that long.” Anya apologized before taking a seat next to Curly. He smiled at her and waved his hand.
“There's no need to apologize, Anya. We're glad you're here.”
A musical ding goes off from the kitchen, and Jimmy rises. He returns with four cocktails in hand, one for each crew member. Save for Anya.
“Oh, I totally forgot! You took so long with your job It completely slipped my mind to make you one. That's on me.” Jimmy laughs with an impish grin, feigning ignorance. Anya immediately opens her mouth.
“It's okay, Jimmy, I'd rather not-”
“Don't be stupid,” Jimmy laughed as he handed out the drinks. “Just wait here. I'll make one just for you. Don't want our nurse feeling left out, do we?” Jimmy's kind words were cut through by his mocking tone like a cruel knife.
“ Thank you ,” Anya whispered under her breath, her words empty. She gazed up into space, her eyes immediately drawn to the same dead pixel she found herself fixated on often. Stagnant. Dependable. Always there.
Curly cleared his throat as he stood up, his drink in hand. Swansea had already finished his.
“Team, I hope we're all ready for our routine interior inspection. It shouldn't take any longer than an hour. I will be assigning teams this time. It might take longer, but it's better safe than sorry, right?” Curly’s voice rang with authority. It made Anya feel safe. Jimmy winced and rolled his eyes while he was turned away taking his time to fix Anya a cocktail.
“Swansea and Daisuke will be on the north side of the ship. That includes the utility room, medical office, and the lounge. Jimmy and Anya will take the south side, that’s the control room and the cabins. I'll be in the navigational office.”
“Uhm, Captain?” Anya quietly whispered. “Are you sure this decision is, uhm… final?”
Curly smiled at her. “Would you like to switch places with someone?”
Anya was about to open her mouth when Jimmy's hand placed itself on her shoulder, squeezing painfully tight. A cocktail was offered in front of her. She smiled, or at least tried to, and took it from Jimmy.
“Nevermind.”
“Alright, everything sounds good. Let's get this done then we can turn in for the night, okay?” The captain smiled.
In and out .
“I think we should split up. That way we can cover more ground quicker. Be done with it.” Jimmy spoke as he walked down the ship's corridor, Anya trailing timidly behind.
“But the captain said we should stick together. Buddy system, and all that.” Anya responded.
“You really like following the rules, don't you? Guess that's why you're the nurse. You just do what you're told.” Jimmy's words cut her once again.
“Okay. We can split up, if that's what you think is-”
“I'm the copilot. I know what's best.”
It was decided that Anya would check the cabins while Jimmy inspected the control room. Of course, Jimmy was the one that made that decision. Anya didn't try to object to it.
She started with Daisuke’s room. Everything seemed standard. The adolescent posters and decorations made her smile. He was a good kid. She felt bad for him, choosing the path he did. If she was him, she'd stay away from the company by any means possible. But she wasn't him. She left for Swansea’s room next.
It was neat, organized. Nothing she wouldn't expect from the old man. He was tough and a bit of a grump most of the time, but he was kind to her. That's all she really could have asked for.
Anya was about to enter her quarters when the lights around her suddenly flickered out. She reached for her emergency flashlight before calling out into the darkness.
“Jimmy?”
“Anya? Where are you?”
“My room. Where are you?”
“Hang on. Stay there.”
Anya bit her lip. She wasn't scared of the dark. But for some reason her stomach felt like it was churning. Like she ate something bad. It was giving her a headache.
Before long, Jimmy’s footsteps grew closer and his flashlight found its way to her. She covered her eyes, the light all too bright. It hurt. Jimmy didn't turn it off.
“What happened?” Anya asked.
“No idea. I wonder if I bumped into something while in the control room.” Jimmy towered over her in the dark.
“We should tell the rest of the guys, they might be confused.”
“There's no need. The lights likely only went off for the south wing. That's how it's wired. Everyone else is still fine.”
Anya groaned, stumbling backwards. Jimmy's hand found her arm, stabilizing her.
“I don't feel good, Jimmy.” Anya held onto her head. It was pounding.
“Our nurse doesn't feel good?” Jimmy scoffed under his breath. He finally turned his flashlight off. “Let's get you to bed or something.” He started to walk her backwards into her own cabin.
“Wait,” Anya stopped him. “Shouldn't you go fix the lights first?”
Jimmy continued to push her back until they were both in her room. It was pitch black. She heard her door close.
“I think you should lie down.” Jimmy grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her down onto her mattress. She lacked the strength to do anything to stop him. Jimmy was craned over her, sitting by her side on the edge of the bed.
“We need… to get Curly…” Anya moaned. Even though it was completely dark, she felt her room spin.
“ God ,” Jimmy groaned angrily, “you're always going on and on about Curly . It's like you're his little bitch or something.” His hands were suddenly on her legs, removing her boots from her feet. She wanted to kick him, but her body wouldn't respond to what she was trying to do. He threw her boots on the floor and moved so her legs were on either side of his waist, kneeling in front of her. Anya began to wriggle beneath him, trying to get away. Jimmy's hands moved to her jumpsuit.
“ Relax .” He spat.
“Stop, please.” Anya breathed, exhausted by just barely moving. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead, her black curls getting stuck to her skin. She was sweating, her face gone pale.
The red emergency generator lights faded in, bathing the room in a dangerous color. Anya could see Jimmy's face now as he straddled her hips. She wish she couldn't.
“Is that it, then? You're fucking Curly?” Jimmy teases her, his hands ripping apart her jumpsuit. Her chest heaved with panicked breaths.
“ No, I'm - we're not. Nothing is going on between me and Curly. Please , Jimmy, get off of me.” Anya was starting to cry.
“So you're not fucking?” Jimmy's hands slide her jumpsuit off, leaving her in a striped shirt and panties. Her bare legs try to contort shut, but Jimmy's hands quickly open them apart. She tries to scream, but she can't. It's as if she's in a dream. With her head getting hazy, it almost feels like it's a dream. She tries to hold onto that hope. That it's all just a dream.
“So it's fine if I do this, then?” Jimmy's hand, the one not holding her down by her arm, slides beneath her cotton panties and immediately feels for her cunt.
Anya squeezes her eyes shut, trying to get away from his touch. But he's all around her.
“Getting wet?” Jimmy leans down to her, his forehead pressing against hers. He shoves two fingers into her. The painful scream she lets out is quickly swallowed by a messy kiss. Jimmy dives his tongue against hers, groaning as he fingers her. With all the strength she has, she pushes him away with one hand. A string of spit trails between them as their mouths disconnect.
“Get off of me.” Anya cries. She is immediately silenced by a stinging slap that lands on her cheek. He hit her.
“Fucking slut.” Jimmy quickly moved to his own pants, fiddling with his belt buckle until he was only in his boxers. Anya could see the outline of his hard cock and her eyes widened in fear. “I really didn't want this to hurt for you. But now ? I hope it fucking hurts.”
Jimmy grabs her hips and pierces her with his length. He sheaths his entire cock into her, kissing her cervix with his tip. Anya’s vision goes white at the intrusion. A blinding hot pain flashes throughout her entire body. She is silently thankful for her altered state of mind; at least she can't feel everything. At least she is somewhat drunk, or drugged, or whatever and she doesn't have to feel him inside of her in a sober state.
Jimmy wastes no time pounding into her. He throws his head back in pleasure as he buries himself deep into her warmth. After being alone for so long, he can't believe how good she feels. His fingers leave bruises on her already bony hips, a reminder of his entrance. A marker of what he's taken.
By now, Anya has checked out of her body. Her mind is somewhere else entirely. A sunset. The vast expanse of space. Complete darkness. Her body has gone limp, but Jimmy hasn't noticed at all. He continued abusing her body, thrusting at the same pace.
In and out .
In and out.
In and out.
The sound of skin slapping against skin is something she can't block out, though. It fills her mind as Jimmy fills her with his cock. She screws her eyes shut but can't escape the sound. It's deafening.
“ Fuck ,” Jimmy begins to stutter. Anya opens her eyes, her vision hazy and blurred. She sees his outline and the shadow he's casting onto her body, but can't see him. She wonders if her mind is blocking out his face or if his face had really become obscured somehow. It didn't really matter, either way. She closed her eyes once more and Jimmy suddenly stopped. She felt him push into her a final time, a warmth filling her. It was over. He was done.
“ Shit .” Jimmy scrambles off of her, searching frantically for a blanket. For a second, she thinks he might actually have the decency to wipe her down. But instead, he covers her with the blanket before running out of the room.
After a few moments of silence, the lights go back on.
Anya thinks she can hear people talking outside her room.
She thinks she can feel something turning inside of her.
She thinks something horrible is about to happen.
In and out .
In and out .
In and out .
Anya falls asleep quickly.