Work Text:
Po hears the door creak open, his eyes snapping just in time to catch a glimpse of the dim light from the corridor seeping into the dark room. Thame's footsteps are clumsy and heavy as he enters. The door slams shut, and Po can barely make out the grumpy sounds coming from the younger boy.
As Thame switches on the light, Po shifts his gaze towards him, his hair disheveled, jacket only halfway on. It is that moment that the younger boy notices the man sitting alone on the sofa.
"Uhm..." Thame begins, his voice rough. He clears his throat before continuing. "W-what are you doing here?"
Po sighs and stands up, making his way to the door.
Thame reeks of alcohol.
The older man helps him out of his jacket anyway, Thame’s shoulders relaxing for a second.
"We have to leave in three hours. You should take a shower and get some rest."
"Oh, of course." Thame replies dryly, as he steps back.
Po considers reaching out to grab his hand, considers pulling him into a tight hug, considers never letting go. However, by the time he gathers his thoughts, Thame is already out of sight.
The older man heads to the small adjacent kitchen to start brewing some tea for the both of them. The sound of running water echoes through the room.
Pausing for a moment, Po gazes at the vacant, silent apartment, all the little trinkets that reflect Thame's unique personality neatly packed in a bag on the floor, his red guitar already on its case.
He fights back the urge to cry once more, having shed enough tears for the day.
Or perhaps even for the entire week.
The boiling water snaps Po out of his reverie, prompting him to retrieve two mugs from the cabinet - the mismatched pair he and Thame had chosen together. He places two tea bags and three tablespoons of sugar in Thame's mug, opts for unsweetened tea for himself. Perching himself on the counter, the familiar spot where they had spent countless nights chatting over the past months, Po reminisces their shared secrets, the moments of comfortable silence, the tender touches. It was at that very table, just a couple of months ago, that Thame had confessed he might be falling in love with him. Also, where Thame gave him a key later, not only to the place, but to his heart as well.
Po recalls the overwhelming sensation that washed over him the moment his boy confessed his feelings. It was a feeling himself was trying to escape from.
Love, that is.
But he was scared for Thame, scared for Mars, scared because deep down he knew it wouldn't work out. Despite that, Po allowed Thame to get closer and for the boy he gave his all, resulting in the best months of his life.
Thame emerges from the bedroom, clad in an oversized light pink shirt - most likely belonging to Po -, with a post-shower glow that makes him look soft and inviting. Po's heart aches with love and grief, knowing he won't have the opportunity to admire the boy in this way again.
The younger boy pauses by the sink to pour himself a glass of tap water and takes a pill, likely to alleviate a headache.
"I made you some tea," Po offers.
"You told me to rest, I'm ready to sleep," Thame replies.
"The tea will help you relax, then we can go to bed."
"I don't need tea, I'm already tired enough."
"Thame, I-"
"I actually don't understand why you're here, anyone else could take me to the airport," Thame interrupts, his tone sharp. "I could even call a taxi," he adds quietly.
"I want to be there for you, let me be there for you," Po pleads.
"Whatever, you know we can’t be seen together. You're only making things harder for us," Thame responds.
Po is aware he should say something, offer an apology, maybe even start an argument. But they've moved past that point, having already said too much, so he remains silent.
As Thame sips his tea - Po made his favorite -, the older notices a glint in his eyes, a detail he notices due to his tendency to be overly observant towards Thame, always attentive to even the smallest things the younger does. Throughout the past few months, he has been closely watching Thame more than anything else - through his camera lens, on stage, during their intimate moments in bed. Always cautious, he is mindful of not letting anyone notice the depth of his emotions whenever he looks at Thame.
They sit in silence, enjoying their tea, Po perched at the counter while Thame stands by the sink. Po can sense that Thame has something on his mind, evident from his restless leg. However, they both remain quiet until the mugs are placed in the sink.
The clock on the wall indicates it's nearing 2 am, leaving them with only a couple of hours to rest. Po sets an alarm to ensure they wake up on time.
Thame heads to the bedroom as the older man finishes up with his phone. Po notices that Thame has left the door ajar, silently inviting him inside. It's their final night together for now, and despite the unspoken tension, Po wants to cherish the moment, yearning for a worry-free bubble to share with his partner. After his nightly bathroom routine, Po joins Thame in the bedroom. When Po enters the room, the younger man is already on his side of the bed, halfway resting on the headboard, engrossed in his phone. Po turns off the lights and takes his usual spot, covering them both with the duvet.
The room falls into silence, Thame putting away his phone and turning off the lampshade. Po can tell that Thame is still awake, his breathing steady. He feels the urge to say something, to utter words that could make the situation better, that could prevent the other boy from harboring resentment towards what they had.
Deep down Po knows it’s not his fault. He accepted the job fully aware of the expectations, understanding that Mars’s future was destined to come to an end. But he got to closer to the younger boy and gave him hope, dedicating months to fulfilling Thame's desire to keep the group together. However, since the beginning the company has already decided what to do, money always being the top priority. Thame’s Korean career had already started without him knowing.
“Phi,” Po hears the other boy whisper. He turns to the other boy. Thame is already looking back at him.
“Uhm…” Po hums softly, indicating he’s listening, their eyes finding each other in the dark.
“Can you hold me for a moment?” Thame’s soft voice resonates in the quiet room.
Po acts without hesitation, embracing his lover without warmly. Thame nestles close, finding comfort in the warmth of Po’s chest, his arms wrapped around the man’s torso. They hold each other closely for a while, Po humming a comforting tune to calm Thame. As they hold each other, legs entwined and breaths synchronized, Po senses his t-shirt becoming damp before he hears Thame's quiet sobs. He patiently waits for the emotional release he knows was coming, allowing Thame to cry first, his own tears falling silently.
“I’m…” Thame starts, his voice catching, “I’m sorry Phi”. Po wants to reassure him that it’s not his fault, as he had done before, but it’s too late. None of their words would make a big difference now. So, he listens as Thame finally opens up.
“I should’ve known better. For months I’ve been leading you to something I knew since the beginning would be a dead end. I lied to my bandmates, I lied to you and I’m the only one to blame, because I succeeded. I’ll have to leave my members behind, and I don’t even know how to say goodbye to them. I can’t bring myself to face them knowing what I did. And I’m so greedy, so selfish, clinging to you because I can’t live without you, I can’t bear the thought of living without you holding me close like this. The idea of living my days knowing you wouldn’t meet me at the company’s rooftop or that, after every tiring schedule, you won’t be at my condo waiting for me with a meal ready, breaks my heart.” Thame pauses to take a breath, his body shaking slightly despite the warm cocoon they created.
Po keeps caressing his back, attempting to soothe him. Thame shifts a little in the embrace to look at the older man’s eyes, his own eyes red and puffy from tears. Po tenderly brushes away the strands of black hair on his forehead, tries to wipe away the tears for his cheeks. Thame gazes at him with sorrow, his expressive eyes revealing more than words ever could.
“I’ll always be here for you. Waiting until you are ready again. I know we already talked about this, and I understand it’s better for us to take a break from each other for now, due to everything being too risky. But I want you to know that the past few months meant the world to me, you taught me so much about everything, about love, about myself. I won’t be able to go on without thinking about you every single moment of my day. I can’t ask you to be present as I know you will be busy with a lot of things. I just want to let you know I’ll be here, everything we had being so strong for me to let go, so I’ll wait for you to come back in whatever way you can.” Po says everything he tried to keep to himself, knowing the future could be tricky sometimes and that promises are not fair with any of them. But it’s what he is feeling, and he needs to let the other boy know before he leaves.
Thame remains quiet, his eyes conveying emotions Po doesn’t fully understand. His tears have ceased, his body still again, hands tenderly caressing Po’s waist. They keep looking at each other, all the words they still couldn’t say being shared through their gazes.
Drawing closer, Thame presses his forehead against Po’s causing a pang in the older heart. He yearns to kiss Thame. Always being more perceptive of the other's feelings, Thame finally leans in to peck Po's lips. Before their first kiss Po always thought of Thame as a cool person, his collected demeanor never overpowering. However, after they shared their first kiss on the same rooftop they shared uncountable moments together, he realized Thame’s was way warmer than he thought. His lips almost feverish, his touches always leaving a lingering warmth on Po’s skin.
Po lets out a soft whimper as Thame deepen their kiss, his hand pulling the older man impossibly closer, his tongue subtly seeking space. Thame kisses always felt like cozy rainy days spent indoors, like watching a storm knowing you have a place to keep you warm. Po never felt like this before their paths crossed, always fearing the rain would somehow catch up to him. Despite making his heart skip a beat sometimes, Thame always felt safe.
Now, his kiss feels like saying goodbye.
They continue kissing until they run out of breath, Thame’s body covering Po’s. Sensing they don’t have much time left to rest, Po moves his hands from Thame's hair to his back, forcing his body to fully lay on the older, their mouths to part. Thame understands the unspoken request and adjusts accordingly, half resting on the bed, head nestled on Po’s neck.
With their chests heaving in unison for a moment, they take a pause to catch their breath. Once Thame relaxes on top of Po, his parted lips brushing against his neck, Po finally closed his eyes and allows himself to rest.
Po wakes up to an empty bed, his body cold without Thame’s comforting warmth. Opening his eyes, he sees the sunlight streaming through the window. Jumping out of bed quickly, he feels a wave of nausea washing over him - they had to get up before sunrise. He looks up for his phone on the bedside table, the clock on the screen showing it is past 8 AM. Already too late.
He ran to the living room, frantically looking for the other boy, but his suitcases were nowhere in sight. Po feels devastated. In the small kitchen, alongside the mugs they had used the night before, there was a glass and a small plate, indicating Thame had at least eaten breakfast before leaving quietly.
Po feels the urge to scream, he wanted to be the one to take Thame to the airport, he needed to be the last person his lover saw before departing, but he couldn't. He failed once more.
Opening the curtains, Po feels the sun's warmth. Opening the doors to the balcony, he struggles to catch his breath as the air feels heavy. His heart tightens in his chest as he tries to calm himself.
Thame’s flight was at 7:50 AM, his phone probably on airplane mode now, Po was unsure of his arrival time.
Po slumps onto the small couch. The transparent glass wall allowed him to see what was happening in the world below. However, he has no interest in knowing what people are doing as his own world crumbles around him. With no other things to do, he buries his face in his hands and cries.
And cries.
Until all else faded away.