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Pomni stared at the pillow she had clutched in her hands as she laid in her bed. Her vision was covered with a layer of static, her eyes having gone all scribbled. She guessed so, anyway, that’s what seemed to happen when she was stressed out of her mind. She could feel tears falling from them, but she didn’t care at this point.
It had been a nightmare of a day. More than usual. Their adventure today was putting on circus acts, all judged in a competition by Bubble. She was made to perform on a tightrope, over a pool, balancing Gloinks in her hands. Jax wouldn’t stop heckling her, and everyone seemed to find it funny. But she didn’t. She fell more times than she could count, teleported back up on the line each time. She even caught Ragatha and Gangle giggling about it later. The whole thing was humiliating.
And now, here she sat in her bed, unable to sleep. She was all up in her head again, she couldn’t get the repeating thoughts out. Over and over again, all she heard; “You’re a joke, that’s all you’ll ever be. Stuck here, a walking laughing stock.”
Her hands grabbed at her hair. She just wanted it all to stop, she’d do almost anything. Even in this colorful hell she couldn’t escape her stupid intrusive thoughts. They always followed her, she was always stuck in her head, there was nothing that could calm it.
Pomni needed a distraction. She’d usually go to Ragatha when this happened, and she’d happily stay up with her to keep things off her mind. But after being laughed at by her, that just felt… uncomfortable.
She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her legs dangled, and the baggy pajama pants hung over her feet. Nighttime was the one respite she got from her ridiculous costume. It still mirrored her jester look, because they had to “stay in character”(in Cain’s words). But at least it was cozy.
She hugged the pillow in her arms again, tighter this time. If she focused hard enough, maybe it could be a real hug. All she wanted to do was calm her mind, shut down the terrible mantra in her brain. Why was she like this? Scared of her own head, she felt like a stupid kid, scared of everything.
Like in Mildenhall Manor, when her and Kinger were trying to escape, it felt like he did all the work. She felt so bad for doing nothing the whole time. Up until he helped her be brave to get to the end. .
That gave her an idea.
But would he still be awake? Or would he just be upset she interrupted his digital sleep. She could never tell, he was so unpredictable at times.
She hesitated, but hopped down from the bed, her red and blue mitch-matched socks padding softly on the floor. She took the pillow with her, and carefully headed out the door.
The circus was oddly eerie at night. It wasn’t fully dark, but dim, and unsaturated. It was always so lively during the day, it was weird to see it all like this. But everything here was weird, so this wasn’t too much different.
Her hand tracked along a large block as she approached the center of the circus. She hesitated to go any closer to the pillow fort, but hearing soft noises coming from it, she forced herself to follow through.
Tears pricked at her eyes as thoughts raced through her head though. “You’re such a bother, so stupid forcing your problems onto others. Why are you like this? Why are you so-” She groaned out loud to drown it all out.
She wiped her face with her sleeve and opened the pillow door with a squeak (how that worked she did not know). Light poked through the gaps between pillows. She saw Kinger bouncing a ball over and over, not noticing her at all. He was in a pastel version of his normal robe, a comedic fuzzy nightcap atop his head.
“Hey, um… Kinger?” She asked tentatively, “You still up…?” His head whipped around quickly, floating blue eyes meeting hers.
“I- sorry to bother you so late but… can I hang here for a bit? I- I’m just not feeling too good, and… and I don’t wanna bother Ragatha.” She half lied with a sniff. She tried to hide her crying, but wasn’t doing it too well.
He just stared at her silently for a long second, his big blank eyes unblinking. It was always hard to tell how he felt. Oh shoot, she probably messed up, she shouldn’t have come at all, why was she always so st-
He screamed and threw the ball at her, hitting her square in the forehead.
“OW!” She exclaimed, dropping her pillow. She stumbled and fell backwards. Kinger rushed forward to her.
“Oh- So sorry Pomni! I thought you were a bear!” He said, brushing her bangs out of the way to check the spot he hit.
“W-wha- it’s fine…” she stuttered out. This is what she meant, he was so confusing most of the time.
“Anyways, why are you here so late?” He asked, tilting a bit.
“I… haven’t been feeling well.” She repeated, “I feel so alone and stressed. Jax isn’t helping too…” She told him, static becoming clearer in her vision as she talked, “I think… I just need some comfort. Like yours from the manor… if you remember, that is…”
Kinger’s eyes went dark for a second, focused. Like he was trying his best to remember. But he just took a deep breath and patted Pomni’s head.
“I may not, but I trust your memory more than my own.” He said to her. He moved over to his little mound of pillows, and sat Pomni’s up next to him, “I’m touched you trust me Pomni. Come, make yourself at home, and I’ll see what I can do to help.”
She blinked a few times, a bit surprised by this reaction. At her hesitation, Kinger gave her a reassuring look.
“Just remember, while I’m around, you’re never alone!” He told her, with what looked like a smile. She smiled back, and tucked herself next to him. It seemed like he really did remember, he just didn’t know it.
So she started talking, ranting about her day, how the others were making her feel. The static dissipated from her sight as she let out her feelings, pupils going back to her normal pinwheels. Kinger added in some advice here and there, but mostly listened. Didn’t judge her at all, didn’t blame her for everything, just listened, and supported her.
That’s all she ever wanted really.
She forgot how long they spoke for, but at some point when it got too dark in the fort, Kinger started to glow to give them more light. And then some time later, the glow died down and they both fell asleep on each other.
And she slept more soundly than she ever had here.