Chapter Text
A New Life
Preface
This story begins at the end of Season 1 of The L Word: Generation Q. The L Word and Season One of The L Word: Generation Q is cannon. The balance of The L Word: Generation Q are not a part of this story and therefore never happened. The Interrogation Tapes are not cannon as they were not broadcast to the general public along with the rest of the series. Those were presented as additional filming with box sets and on internet websites and were not available to those who viewed the original broadcast including subsequent streaming broadcast.
This story is intended to present the Bette Porter and the Tina Kennard which I know and have grown to love. It is intended to address the issues which I consider the most prominent as a result of Generation Q. That is the divorce of Bette and Tina, the fact that Bette has become Angie’s primary parent, and the subsequent engagement of Carrie Anderson to Tina. My Carrie is not the character which is played by Rosie O’Donnell. I started this story before the announcement of Rosie would be playing the part of Carrie nor the public awareness that her last name on Gen Q is Walsh. I had a completely different view of who she would be.
This story is my own view of what I see would have been the natural progression of how things would go based upon my views on who these two people are and who they became in Season 5 and 6 of the original L Word. I am sure some of this will not be very satisfying to many readers as there is not a whole lot of drama or angst. It is more of a mental journey for Tina Kennard and for Bette Porter to get to their New Life.
There are 31 chapters which is 803 pages in this story. That is roughly 26 pages per chapter. I would like to load two chapters each week so that it will be complete in approximately 3 months. I would appreciate comments, good, bad or indifferent. I wrote this for my own enjoyment and satisfaction and if it doesn’t appeal to you, well that’s okay. I love these two women with all my heart, and I know that many of you do as well.
My hope is that this story lifts your spirits and applies the balm needed as result of Gen Q…. I apologize for being so detailed and lengthy… but if you get through this, it is my hope you see and feel the characters of Bette Porter and Tina Kennard as if they were members of your family just as I do.
A New Life
Chapter 1 – Tina’s Engagement
Tina came to Los Angeles at the request of Angie’s urgent text message, to help her and Bette after the attack at the school by Tyler Adams. The arrival of Tina on Bette’s doorstep was a complete shock to Bette as she was working with her mayor’s race election staff to determine the next course of action. Angie had been sent to stay with Shane for the day and possibly the night until the press abandoned their vigil of watching the Porter residence to get an update or a response on the incident which had disrupted the mayoral candidate’s day at a school event.
The following day, Tina and Angie were reunited and spent time together catching up on Angie’s life. Tina and Bette spent time together discussing the current events of Angie’s life. Bette expressed doubts that she was doing the best job with Angie with her misadventures in the previous few months. Angie had transferred schools after she ditched class for a day to be with her new friend Jordi, smoked pot on their self-declared holiday and announced that she wanted to live with Mama T as a threat to Bette’s authority, punched a girl at school and been suspended as disciplinary measures. After hearing the stories from Bette, Tina had agreed that Bette had handled the matters with the proper amount of discipline and wisdom as appropriate but was not happy that Bette had not informed her as the events were occurring. Tina, as co-parent, believed that she should be kept informed of Angie’s life on a timely manner so that she can assist Bette where needed.
On the evening before Tina was to fly back to New York, Tina asked to have dinner with Bette. During that dinner, Tina told Bette that Carrie had proposed marriage, and she had accepted. This came as a jolt to Bette as Tina’s announcement was not expected. Although Bette and Tina had been talking on the phone on an almost daily basis, the subject was always Angie. They seldom disclosed any information on their own personal lives. Sometimes Bette would update Tina on what was going on with Shane or Alice. Tina would sometimes talk about her work schedule and locations but never said much about her personal life. The only time Tina had said much about her personal life was when she had called Bette to inform her that she was filing for divorce which was two years ago. Tina and Bette had separated almost 3 years ago where Bette had assumed the primary parental responsibilities of Angie. Angie was 14 years old, and the family was living in New York City.
The day after Tina’s announcement to Bette of her pending marriage, Tina flew to New York with plans to return to Los Angeles with Carrie within two weeks to talk to Angie about her plans to marry Carrie. Tina had hoped that Bette would be present and be supportive of her and Carrie in receiving the news. However, since she could sense that Bette had not taken the news well even though she had offered her congratulations and best wishes, she wanted to think about how this news should be delivered to Angie. Tina felt a significant amount of guilt when she saw in Bette’s eyes reflect the devastation she felt about Tina’s pending marriage.
During her visit, she also sensed that Bette still held a level of anger for the process that Tina had followed to terminate their own marriage. Tina’s response was to defend herself by recounting much of their history including Bette’s character traits which Tina found restrained her ability to fulfill her needs as an individual. Rather than to have what would have been a very emotional discussion, Bette had cut the discussion off with a statement that it was Tina who required space to get in touch with her needs and wants, thus the separation. She then found someone new, therefore the divorce. What Bette failed to bring up was her feeling that she had been given little or no opportunity to make changes and accommodations for Tina’s wants and needs which would preserve their marriage. She accepted that Tina found much of her characteristics such as her less than observant nature, her tendency to assume that she knew what was best for the family and her ability to dominate the relationship and such that she needed to leave the relationship. However, Tina allowed Bette to proceed with her ways without giving much indication as to the extent which it bothered her until she believed her best alternative was to separate for a time until she found her self-identity again.
When Bette and Tina moved to New York, Tina had a job in New York which lasted a year. Bette had obtained employment at a small gallery during the first year and worked there the entire time she lived in New York. They hired a nanny to take care of Angie while both parents worked. When Tina’s job ended, Tina assumed the duties of the childcare. After five years, Tina began to feel that she wanted to work in order to meet her needs for self-fulfillment thus she accepted a position as executive producer for a new cable series which would be filmed outside the Toronto area. A month prior to the job beginning, Tina decided that she and Bette needed some space to get her priorities in order. Bette had assumed that once Tina decided what she wanted in life, she would return to discuss their relationship and how Bette and Angie would fit in. Bette would assume the primary parent role. Within the first six months of separation, there was almost no communication with Bette. She talked to Angie every few days by phone and had planned to have Angie over about one weekend a month. But then she moved to Toronto, and having Angie simply didn’t fit her work schedule. During that time, Tina met Carrie. So, Tina’s time was spent mostly on her new career and with Carrie and Angie being fit into her hiatus and holidays.
Bette decided to move to Los Angeles after Tina started her job in Toronto. She received an offer to be the Commissioner of Cultural Affairs for the City of Los Angeles. She informed Tina, sold their apartment in Manhattan, and purchased a home in the Silver Lakes area of Los Angeles. Bette received Tina’s request for divorce just before she moved to Los Angeles and the news that Tina had met someone – Carrie. In Bette’s eyes, Tina had simply left the marriage and gone on her way. No discussion and no opportunity for reconciliation. And Bette still loved Tina with all of her heart and desired to be married to this woman who is the love of her life. In the same year she lost her lover, partner and spouse of twenty years and her only sister Kit died as result of a drug overdose.
When Kit died, Bette had thought Tina would show up to support her and Angie through the services. But Tina didn’t show. There were flowers and a short note of sympathy. She talked to Angie by phone but not to Bette. Bette was hurt by this. This was another not-so-subtle message that her more than 20-year relationship to Tina was over.
For months after the death of Kit, Bette was depressed. Had she not had the responsibilities of the care for Angie, it may have lasted longer than it did to get back on an even keel. As customary for Bette, her method to soothe her pain was to engage in alcohol and sex. It was during this time she found comfort in Felicity Adams, a married staff member of Cultural Affairs Department. She had promised herself that she would never have alcohol except wine with dinner and only when they had company in their home. And she would never bring dates home when Angie was there and had promised herself that unless the relationship looked like something that might be permanent, she would not introduce them to Angie. She would make arrangements to spend a night in a hotel rather than have Angie exposed to women she dated. Since moving to Los Angeles as a single mom, she seldom had dates. She simply had very little desire to socialize with new people and put herself out on the market again. When thoughts of sex came to Bette’s mind, Tina was the one she desired.
And until Tina broke the news that she had accepted Carrie’s proposal, she always held out hope that Tina would reach deep in her soul and find that she belonged with Bette. She hoped that Tina would give her an opportunity to change things, to become the partner she loved and needed. She had always been willing to give Tina anything she desired which she could achieve. She just needed to be asked. The problem has traditionally been that Tina wishing to avoid conflict, had bottled up her hurt, pain and unfulfilled desires until she felt that escape from the situation was the only answer. When the decision to fight or flee, Tina’s modus operandi is to flee. This has left Bette with little opportunity to fight for the relationship with Tina. It also left Bette with a feeling of guilt that she had failed the woman she loves and caused the rift in their relationship once again. Bette’s greatest problem is that she has no clue as to what it was specifically that had driven Tina out the door as she had never said what motivated her to make the decisions she made. And Bette was still grieving between the stages of anger and reconciling herself to the fact that Tina truly was no longer a part of her life except as the co-parent to Angie.
Two weeks after the wedding announcement to Bette, Tina and Carrie arrived at the Porter home just after lunch on a Saturday. Angie had spent the night at Jordi’s but was due home around 1:00. Bette answered the door and invited Tina and Carrie in.
Bette: Good afternoon. Come in, Come in. How was your flight?
Tina: It was good. We had to get up really early. But we got some sleep on the way.
Bette: Hello Carrie, how are you?
Carrie: Very well thankyou…
Bette: Can I get you some coffee or some tea?
Tina: I’d love some tea…you Carrie?
Carrie: Tea is fine.
Bette: Why don’t we sit at the dining room table. Angie is expected any minute now so we can have this conversation.
Tina: Yes…how are you feeling about this?
Bette: Me? Fine…But I think you should do all the talking. After all this is your announcement.
Bette was taking deep breaths and not making eye contact with Tina as she responded. Tina could tell by Bette’s body language that she was tense.
Tina: How do you think she is going to take this?
Bette: Frankly Tina, I have no idea. This is about you and your relationship with her and with Carrie. I am here to give support if she needs it. She loves you. You are her mother. She has met Carrie. I’ve heard nothing negative about Carrie. I’m sure that she’s going to be happy for you.
Tina felt that Bette was doing all she could to keep a positive attitude even though she was having negative feelings about the whole situation.
Angie came in the front door with her backpack from school and a duffel bag with her clothes from her overnight stay.
Angie: Mom, I’m home.
Bette: We are in the dining room dear; come in and say hello.
Angie walks in the room and sees Tina and Carrie sitting at the table. Tina gets up to hug her child.
Angie: Mama T!! Wow…what are you doing here? Carrie, hello! How are you?
Tina: We’ve come to see you!!
Carrie: Hey Angie…good to see you.
Bette: Angie would you like something to drink? Some juice or water or something.
Angie: Yes please, how about a bottle of juice.
Bette got up and went to the kitchen to get the tea and the juice for the table. She came back with a tray of cups, a pot of water, tea bags, and the juice.
Tina: So, how’s Jordi?
Angie: Oh, she’s great. We had so much fun last night. We watched this old horror movie, and it was really scary. I’m glad she was there because I would not have enjoyed it by myself.
Tina: Oh, I’m sure!
Angie: So, what brings you to LA?
Tina: Well, we have some news that we want to tell you in person. We had a free weekend, so we decided to fly out.
Angie looked at Bette and then at Carrie and then at Tina.
Angie: You two are getting married, aren’t you?
Tina looked shocked and then looked at Bette.
Tina: Wow! Yes, we are sweety. Carrie and I have decided to get married.
Angie (In a gruff voice): Oh my god! Really?
Tina: Yes, really!
Angie was skewing her mouth and looking down at the floor and not at anyone in particular. She remained silent for a minute or so.
Tina: Angie are you okay? You know, Carrie makes me very happy and ….
Angie (in somewhat an abrupt tone, not close to happy): That’s great Mom…Congratulations.
Tina: So how do you feel about this?
Angie: I’m not sure how I feel. I guess it’s good for you. If it makes you happy.
Tina: What do you mean sweety?
Angie looked at Bette and then at her mother. She was close to tears and Bette could see that Angie was showing signs of anger. She responded slowly.
Angie: Does this mean I’m going to see even less of you?
Tina was really shocked with this question. Her mouth fell open in a look of horror.
Angie: Don’t answer that… I really do not want to know. May I be excused; I want to go to my room!
Angie was beginning to tear up a bit. Bette was looking on in shock.
Bette: Sure honey, I’ll be up to check on you shortly.
Angie (gruffly): Good to see you again Mama T. Congratulations.
Once they heard the bedroom door shut, Tina began to respond to the situation.
Tina: That was a shock. What do you think she was thinking?
Bette took a deep breath.
Bette: She’s a smart and preceptive teenager. She loves you very much, but she perceives that this marriage will make you less accessible to her. You will have less opportunities to see her or to talk to her.
Tina: Where would she get that idea. We are planning on getting a place here in LA to use during the hiatus. If anything, I’m going to be more available to be with her.
Bette: She does not know what your plans are. Her information is based upon what she has experienced over the last couple of years. She has seen you about 3 or 4 times per year for an occasional holiday, a couple weeks during hiatus and a weekend or two. All she knows is that is the amount of time you have to see her before you make this commitment to be married to Carrie. It doesn’t take much logic to conclude that after you marry, then you will have less time available as you will have a wife which you will want to spend a significant amount of your available time with.
Tina: But I told her that we were going to get a place here in LA when we were here last. Surely, she knows I going to spend more time with her.
Bette: That was your plan before you decided to get married. You and Carrie live in New York for 3 to 6 months of the year and you are in Toronto for 6 to 9 months a year. So, are you getting a third house here in LA? Or are you moving from New York to LA? Are you planning to spend your hiatus time split between New York and LA? Now I do not expect any answers to these questions. But all the answers effects how much time and when you will be available for your daughter. And she now has about eighteen months of high school left and then she is off to college. And for all intents and purposes, she will be an adult and will have significant say as to what she does with her own free time. And then according to where she goes to school, I would imagine that she will be less available to her parents.
Tina looked absolutely horrified. Where had the time gone? Angie was almost an adult. Tina was hit like a ton of bricks that she had missed a significant part of the last three years of her life and within a few months she would be beginning her adult life. Sure, she had talked to Angie almost daily by phone. But being with her and seeing her expressions and holding her when she was upset and kissing her goodnight had all been limited to a few visits during the holidays and a few weekends. She began then to understand that Angie perceived Carrie as a competitor for her mother’s time and affection.
Tina: Oh my god! What have I done?
Carrie was looking a little disturb as well. The time element of their future had not been on her radar either. Tina’s availability was limited currently. If Tina increases her time with Angie, then that will mean that she and Tina will have less alone time. Carrie was based in New York. She was not very happy with Tina’s decision to buy a house in LA.
Carrie: And I was hoping that you would make an effort to spend more time with me once we are married.
Tina: I’m afraid I’m doing all I can do with my time. I need to spend more time with my daughter. She does not have that much time left in her childhood and I want to be as much of a part of it as I can.
Carrie: We need to discuss this later.
Tina: I’m going to go up and talk to Angie.
Tina abruptly stood and headed upstairs to Angie’s room. Her door was shut. Tina listened and could hear her daughter softly sobbing. Tina hesitated a moment. She really didn’t know what she was going to say.
As Tina left, Carrie continued to drink her tea and looked distressed. This was not what she had expected in the way of an announcement on what should be the happiest day of her and Tina’s life. Angie had always been friendly and amicable when she spent time in her and Tina’s home. Carrie had not had a whole lot of time with her as most of the activities involved mostly the mother-daughter team. Angie was always well mannered, fairly neat for a kid and was fairly quiet when she visited. Carrie had presumed that future dealings with Angie would be very similar to those in the past. She had not considered that Tina would want to increase her time with Angie due to her impending adulthood which was a year and a half away. Carrie immediately recognized that Bette had been right. If Tina spends more time with Angie, the likelihood that she would be spending less time with Carrie was high.
Bette: Carrie, I’m going to my office. Just make yourself at home and have some more tea. I’m sure Tina will be back shortly.
Bette then got up and went to her office and shut the door. She then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That had been a rather unpleasant experience. She hurt for Angie. Angie had always held out hope that her Mama T would decide one day that she belong with her and her Mama B. But those hopes became less when Tina introduced her to Carrie. And now that Tina and Carrie were to be married, those hopes were all but dashed to bits.