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24 hours seemed so long when they first joined the game.
A lot can happen in a day, especially with the constant exchanging of time, hours traded as deaths stacked up. Joel knew he could do so much in that 24 hours. He thought it would surely be enough time.
Now as the clock ticks closer and closer to their demise, all he can think about is how 24 hours was not enough.
Not enough time. Not enough kills, not enough fights. Not enough conversations, not enough laughter and joy. Not enough hours or minutes or seconds.
There wasn't enough time to live.
He's on a bread bridge. Grian and Jimmy are a bit away, laughing at something one of them had said. They're so joyful, as if they don't notice the way their time is slipping away from them. As if they aren't also already grieving their friends.
Jimmy won't last much longer. It was almost funny, of course Jimmy was so close to being out of time. Based on past seasons, it made so much sense that Jimmy was most likely going to be the first one out. Everyone was already joking about how the canary curse will affect another season. Normally Joel would be joking too, but the thought of Jimmy's clock glowing red as the numbers hit zero, the thought of how quiet the air would be without his best friend's laugh, stopped even a small giggle or tease from Joel. It felt like he was being ripped in two just at the thought of it, of losing his friend and teammate.
He was already grieving for an alive man.
The air feels thinner on the bridge, high above the ground. The fields of wheat seem to ripple in the wind, most of the golden stalks trampled by the many troublemakers of the server. The crops needed to be watered soon. Thats Jimmy's job, who will do it when he's gone? Joel knows that it wouldn't be a big job for him or Grian to take on, yet for some reason it feels as if the simple job of watering the crops is something that belongs to Jimmy, someone else doing it doesn't feel right.
Joel looks over at his friends. Eyes squeezed tight with joy, mouths open in laughter.
So happy.
How many hours until that changes?
How many hours until they are red, until the joy is replaced by bloodlust? How many hours until one of them is dead, until theres a member missing in their trio?
Joel doesn't want to have to see one of those joyous faces missing.
This is the first season he had truly had a family. In 3rd life, he had been alone. In last life, there had been some alliances, but most had been scared of him due to his bloodlust. In double life, Etho truly only stuck around because they were soulbound, they would have never teamed up otherwise.
Here, now, in this life, Joel has a family. And in this sick twisted world, he gets to know how much longer until that family falls apart, until one member is nothing but a ghostly voice that haunts his mind of someone he couldn't save.
He can't lose this family. He can't. He refuses to see one of them die.
The laughter from his teammates is drowned out by the constant ticking of his own clock. He has less time than Grian, but more than Jimmy.
He decides something then. If his family is gone, his time will be useless. He doesn't want to continue without his family. But if he is gone, he knows his family can continue on. Grian and Jimmy could continue on.
Theres a hand on his shoulder, and the ticking of his clock quiet. The laughter fills his ears again, and he finds himself laughing along to a joke he didn't hear, wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders.
They don't know what he's planning. He won't tell them yet, not until its necessary.
--
As he watches Jimmy fall that day, he's reminded again of how little time he has.
Jimmy's hands are too far to reach by the time he lunges to grab onto his friend, and he's left up there, watching as Jimmy falls. Lightning strikes in front of him as Jimmy hits the ground, singing his face, filling the air with a sharp tingle he hasn't felt since he was last in Empires.
Grian is speaking. Joel can't hear him.
The world around them feels suffocating, as if the lightning had removed all the oxygen. He can't tear his eyes away from the spot on the ground where Jimmy's body lies, lifeless and bloody.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
He should have given Jimmy his time.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Why did he waste so much time procrastinating what he needed to do?
Tick. Tick.
Why didn't he just give Jimmy time! Why was he so selfish to wait so long to save his friend.
Tick.
There are arms around him. Mumbled words that are drowned out by the sounds of the clock in his ears.
The arms around him hurt. They burn his skin, and he wants to claw them away, and wants to rip off the skin that they touch.
He does not deserve comfort. The only one that deserves comfort is the one 100 feet below them, whose lifeless body is too mangled to tell the tales of the wonderful man he had been.
He didn't have enough time.
Grian is pulling him into a tight hug. He doesn't seem upset, but maybe the words he speaks match Joel's thoughts. Does he feel guilty? Did he want to save their friend too?
Would there even be enough time to bury Jimmy? Enough time to hold his body and cry before Joel buried him under 6 feet of dirt to protect him from the fires and explosions that the rest of the game would bring?
Would there be enough time to grieve the man Joel had promised himself he wouldn't lose?
Jimmy didn't have enough time.
And now, Joel has too much.