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it takes three more times of taesan falling into bed with leehan for him to realize it’s high-time they set up some ground rules.
admittedly, it’s not like they went all the way (read: leehan absolutely fucking taesan into oblivion with his dick like he’s done a humiliating amount of times in taesan’s recent dreams) ever since the first time leehan got taesan naked on his bed. in reality, they’ve only really had time for a couple of quick handjobs, the both of them locking themselves up in leehan’s room once everyone else was passed out from exhaustion, especially due to their hectic back-and-forth schedules. not that taesan’s complaining too much, though. it seems as if leehan has made it his personal mission to give taesan the most sinful make-out sessions known to mankind, and even though taesan would never admit to his best friend’s face just how much he likes it, he’s awfully embarrassed by just how quick it is for leehan to unravel him completely.
on the second week of taesan ending up pinned down to leehan’s mattress with his shirt raised and the other boy’s lips sucking on his neck, he decides to finally speak up.
“leehan,” taesan breathes out, trying very hard not to moan when leehan’s mouth moves to his chest and failing miserably. “ah, kim donghyun, wait-“
“hm?” leehan hums, hands firm and heavy on taesan’s wrists, keeping him from moving. taesan’s half-hard already and he wants nothing more than to rut up against leehan’s hips, but the rational part of him takes over and he knows leehan won’t listen until they stop.
he gently tugs his wrists away when the other boy doesn’t stop kissing the expanse of his chest, shifting so he can prop himself up into an upright position. leehan whines at the loss but he concedes, plopping himself down by taesan’s side.
“okay, okay, i’m listening,” leehan huffs, but it’s all soft and fond and taesan knows he isn’t actually annoyed. he looks a little like a kicked puppy, though. taesan kinda feels bad, before remembering why he made them stop in the first place. “what’s so important that i can’t keep kissing you senseless?”
and it’s when leehan says things like that does taesan realize how dangerous this is getting, how his heart flutters in the confines of his chest without his permission. it’s even worse when they’re all tangled up naked under the blankets and leehan whispers sweet nothings into his ear, praising and touching taesan in all the ways that makes his body burn with need. which is stupid, because leehan’s made it clear that it all doesn’t mean anything.
taesan tries to swallow down his nerves. “it’s just- i need to clarify a few things with you.”
“okay…?” leehan quirks an eyebrow. “like what?”
“well,” taesan starts slowly, suddenly feeling hesitant and all-too-aware that he’s effectively killed the sexy mood they had going on. “this thing we’re doing…. it’s strictly physical, right? like, no strings attached?”
leehan halts, face unreadable. taesan can usually read the other boy better than most, but he hates those few moments when he can’t tell what leehan’s thinking at all. pursing his lips, leehan says, “sure? i, um- i mean that’s what you wanted, right?”
“right,” taesan breathes out, yet there’s a weight sitting heavy on his chest and he can’t figure out why. “so, just to be clear, you’re not expecting anything from me, right?”
leehan frowns. “of course not.” he sits up properly, looking taesan straight in the eye when he asks, voice worried, “taesan, where is this coming from? did i do anything to make you uncomfortable?”
“no!” taesan quickly insists, waving his hands in panic. leehan seems to relax visibly at this, and he continues, “you’ve been nothing but good to me, but still…”
“what is it?”
“i just- i can’t help but think we need to set a few rules, you know?” leehan slowly nods in understanding at this, and taesan internally sighs in relief that they’re both on the same page. “like how often we should do this so we don’t get caught, and what boundaries we need to put in place.”
leehan seems to consider this, humming thoughtfully. “well, obviously,” he starts, “i personally think none of the other members should know about this.”
“agreed. god, we’d never get the end of it if they found out. speaking of…” taesan can feel a blush creeping up his cheeks, but he powers through, “you’ve got to stop teasing me like that when we’re with the others.”
(he thinks back to earlier that day, when all the members were in the practice room rehearsing their live vocals for the stages they’ll be having for their promotions. leehan wouldn’t leave his side, discreetly feeling taesan up even when he felt all gross and sweaty and shot a death glare at the other boy to stop. of course, leehan being leehan, completely ignored him, even going as far as to slip his hands down taesan’s shorts when all six of them huddled together for feedback. it was positively mortifying, even more so when riwoo noticed and flashed taesan a quizzical stare.
really, taesan thinks it’s unfair that he’s the only one constantly being accused of touching his members inappropriately when an entire kim donghyun exists outside of what the cameras show.)
the grin on leehan’s face is absolutely wicked. taesan can’t believe this is the same guy whose eyes sparkle over corydoras and gets all pouty when fans don’t notice his new trinkets. “teasing you like what?” he asks, feigning innocence. taesan rolls his eyes. “it’s not my fault you’re so easy to rile up.”
“i’m not easy,” taesan splutters. “you’re the one who keeps getting distracted when we’re supposed to be working!”
“perhaps so,” leehan hums. he presses a quick peck to taesan’s cheek then, and it catches taesan so off-guard that he doesn’t even have time to react before leehan’s already pulling away, smiling up at him. “but you’re so pretty when you’re flushed and all focused, i can’t help it.”
taesan tries to ignore the way his heart skips a beat at the praise. this is exactly why he wanted to establish some boundaries, because leehan is so quick to call him sweet words like pretty and beautiful in a tone that’s far too earnest. honestly, it scares taesan. it completely blurs the lines between their friendship, and he doesn’t know how much more he can take before he cracks.
“and another thing,” he says, avoiding leehan’s gaze. suddenly, the loose thread on the waistband of his shorts is the most interesting in the world. “i think it’ll be best if we only kissed during… y’know. sex.”
“oh.” from the corner of taesan’s eye, he can see the way the corner of leehan’s lips pull down to form a frown. “don’t we already do that, though?”
“you kissed me just now,” taesan points out, and he cringes internally with how fast he says it. “i mean- you kiss me when we’re alone sometimes. when we’re not doing anything sexual. and i just feel like that’s…“
he trails off when he can’t think of a word to properly describe how he feels. because, frankly, taesan likes leehan’s kisses. he’s never been kissed before leehan, but leehan kisses him like he actually means it, like they’re together. sometimes, the other boy’s lips are soft and sweet against taesan’s, delicate in a way that almost makes taesan feel like he’s loved – other times, leehan’s kisses are passionate and hungry, and it terrifies taesan because he’s always left wanting more.
“okay,” leehan says softly, breaking him out of his thoughts. taesan risks a glance at the other boy, but all he sees is leehan smiling gently, looking at him in a way that feels too intimate for taesan’s weakening resolve. leehan must sense the whirlwind of emotions in taesan’s head – somehow, he always does – because he inches closer, his hand a comforting weight on taesan’s knee from where it rests as he sits cross-legged. “no kissing unless we’re at least, like, half-naked.”
“you’re ridiculous,” taesan huffs, but he can feel himself smiling and knows leehan can see it too.
shoving taesan lightheartedly with his shoulder, leehan says, “alright, my turn. i know i’ve said this before, but promise you’ll let me know if i do anything that makes you uncomfortable. the last thing i want to do is hurt you, or push you into doing something you don’t like.”
“i will,” taesan promises. he regards his next words carefully, but his brain-to-mouth filter must have exhausted it’s quota for the day because what comes out of his mouth is a genuine, “but, honestly, i’d let you do anything to me.”
the words are out before his mind even has time to process it. he thinks he feels his cheeks burn with the force of a thousand suns, watching as leehan’s eyes widen almost comically at the statement. “oh my god, taesan,” leehan groans, choking on air, and taesan reaches over to pat his back apologetically, “you can’t just say things like that.”
“sorry,” taesan murmurs, not feeling very sorry at all. because, embarrassingly, he means what he said. quickly changing the subject, he adds, “okay, one last thing.”
leehan clears his throat one more time, before gazing up at taesan expectantly. “yeah?”
“it’s just… i don’t want this to change anything between us,” taesan breathes out, “and i don’t want it to affect the members either.”
leehan smiles a little at this. “stop worrying your pretty little head off, dongmin. we’re just doing this for release, right? it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“right.” taesan swallows the growing discomfort lodged in his throat and nods. “it doesn’t mean anything.”
they don’t do anything else for the rest of the night, and taesan hates himself a little bit for feeling disappointed. but he’s glad to be in leehan’s company, even though they’re snuggled together like a couple on leehan’s bed, scrolling through tiktok late into the night and laughing when they come across fan videos of themselves. leehan accidentally falls asleep first (taesan can’t blame him, especially with how excruciating their practice was today), his head resting on taesan’s shoulder. there’s an unfamiliar ache deep in his chest when he gently lays the other boy down onto his own pillow, extracting himself from leehan’s side and getting out as quietly as he can.
his own room feels lonely, even with woonhak snoring like a bulldozer five feet away from him. in the end, he dreams of long hair and sparkling eyes and steady hands. when he wakes up, he pushes those thoughts far, far down and tries to ignore how awful his heart feels.
—————
he’s at the gym with sungho a week later when everything starts spiraling downwards.
“so,” sungho starts conversationally from where he’s sitting beside taesan, stretching out on his yoga mat. “you and donghyun.”
taesan immediately tenses, halting mid-stretch. “what do you mean?” he asks slowly, carefully.
sungho levels him with an unimpressed look. “we’re not stupid, you know. or blind, for that matter.” the older boy continues stretching out his hamstring, grunting a little as he adds, “hell, even woonhak knows there’s something going on between you too.”
“nothing’s going on between us,” taesan defends. a blatant lie. he knows sungho can tell too, especially with the way he snorts at taesan’s words like it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.
“yeah, sure,” sungho rolls his eyes, but it’s more teasing than actually annoyed. “so it’s considered nothing if you and donghyun are always together, and you stay over at his room till 3 in the morning, and you’re constantly feeling each other up?”
“hyung-“ taesan begins to protest, feeling his cheeks heat up, but sungho beats him to it.
“look, i care about you, and i know you know this isn’t a good idea,” sungho says. his voice is careful, like he’s considering the words in his head before saying them aloud. “you could get hurt if this whole thing goes overboard.”
taesan frowns. “it’s not gonna be like that,” he argues, only to internally wince when his words come out harsher than he intended, in a gentler tone, he adds, “we’re just friends, hyung. seriously.”
sungho purses his lips, and taesan can tell the older boy is holding himself back from rebutting his comment. carefully, sungho asks, “and how many friends do you end up naked in bed with, dongmin-ah?”
discomfort pricks under taesan’s skin as he blushes, looking away. rationally, he knows sungho’s right. he knows it, but he hates it all the same. he thinks back to leehan saying it doesn’t have to mean anything all those nights ago and taesan wonders if that’s still the case for himself. especially when nowadays, it seems as if he’s always looking for leehan in everything.
he doesn’t realize he’s been quiet for too long until sungho nudges him gently. “hey,” the older boy breaks in softly. “i didn’t mean to upset you.”
taesan shakes his head. “it’s alright,” he says, although his voice comes out shakier than he wanted. “i just… i don’t know. i didn’t think it’d get to this point.”
sungho flashes him a look of sympathy. “you guys will work it out. you and donghyun always do, don’t you?”
and, really, taesan can’t bring himself to argue against that when it’s true.
sungho doesn’t say anything else after, letting the music from his bluetooth speakers wash over them as they continue their workout. taesan goes through his usual routine, but his body is on auto-pilot while sungho’s words continue to play in his head, again and again like a broken record.
and how many friends do you end up naked in bed with?
—————
naturally, things get busier after that, although taesan doesn’t mind too much – not when he knows it comes with the job. it’s only on a particularly frustrating day, when he can’t seem to find the right words for his lyrics and the melodies he tries out seem off and everything just feels wrong does he feel the sense of failure creeping along his veins, itching in all the ways taesan can’t scratch.
he hangs his head in defeat, sighing to himself. the time on his phone tells him it’s just a little past 2 am.
it surprises him a little, because he hadn’t realized he’d been cooped up in the recording room for so long. checking his notifications, he finds fifty new messages from their group’s chat room, three missed calls from jaehyun, and a private message from sungho of a cat simply captioned with this is so you. he decides to put off reading the messages in the groupchat for later, sends a quick message to jaehyun saying i’m omw back soon, no i’m not dead, and heart-reacts to sungho’s video. it’s only when he checks his most recent notifications does his heart pick up, feeling himself start to smile without even realizing it.
twelve new messages and two missed calls from leehan, the latest call being just ten minutes ago. taesan hesitates for just a second, before he presses leehan’s number and lets his ringtone fill the room.
leehan picks up on the first ring.
“hey,” the other boy greets, sounding weirdly breathless. “i was wondering where you were.”
“still at the company,” taesan sighs, glancing at his laptop screen with all his scrapped lyrics in fleeting despair. “nothing seems to be working out right for me today.”
leehan’s quiet for a few heartbeats, although taesan appreciates the silence. he’s thankful leehan knows better than to say things like oh you’ll get it next time or you tried your best, knows it’ll only make taesan more upset.
“do you wanna come over?” leehan finally asks, before he quickly adds, “wait, i mean- not like, in that way- i was just wondering if you’d like some company or whatever, but it’s totally up to you-“
it amuses taesan; he can almost picture the way leehan’s panicking over his words, and taesan has to bite back a smile. “leehan,” he finally breaks in, can hear the other boy’s sharp intake of breath, “i’m sitting here, frustrated and upset, and you’re trying to get into my pants?”
“no!” leehan protests. it’s a nice change for once for taesan to be doing the teasing, and he almost wishes he were with leehan right now to see if he’s blushing as hard as taesan does whenever leehan says all those words that has taesan flushing pink. “i mean, maybe, if you wanted, but-“ the other boy cuts himself off, letting out a muffled groan. “god, sorry. i just- i’ve been thinking about you all night.”
the confession has taesan’s ears going hot. “yeah?”
“yeah,” leehan repeats. “taesanie, i… i want to go all the way with you tonight, if you’d let me.”
his words immediately have taesan faltering, nearly dropping his phone in shock as a zip of arousal shoots straight to his gut. he swallows. “it’s-“ he quickly checks the time- “2:20 in the morning. are you sure?”
“i can’t stop thinking about it- about you,” leehan admits lowly, and taesan thinks his heart might burst. “we have a free day tomorrow too, and everyone else is already asleep. do you- do you want to?”
honestly, leehan didn’t need to say that last part to have taesan agree, because frankly, he’s been wanting it just as bad ever since the first time they ended up in bed. he swallows down the sudden dryness in his throat, forces his racing heart to calm down, and tries to drown out the little voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like sungho when it says i know you know this isn’t a good idea.
taesan lets out a breath he hadn’t realize he’d been holding, already packing up his things.
“give me thirty minutes.”
the door to the upper floor of their dorm is already unlocked, which taesan suspects is leehan’s doing. he shuts it close behind him, tiptoeing past the living room. the door to jaehyun and sungho’s room is shut closed too. he can hear soft snoring coming from inside, and he hopes to whatever higher being there is that the two of them stay asleep for the rest of the night.
and then, inevitably, he’s in leehan’s room again.
“hi,” leehan greets softly, the beginnings of a smile forming on his lips. the only source of light comes from his bedside lamp, illuminating the both of them in a warm, golden glow.
leehan looks beautiful. taesan has to force himself to move towards leehan’s bed and not just hang around the doorway like an idiot.
“c’mere,” leehan says, reaching out for his hand and pulling him close. he lets taesan sit back against the headboard, and taesan nearly combusts when leehan swings a leg over his hips, straddling him.
“is this okay?” leehan asks, and as turned on as he is, taesan has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. what a stupid question – of course it’s okay.
“kiss me,” he says instead, chest already heaving in anticipation. leehan smiles, and taesan holds his breath as their lips brush once, twice, three times in barely there, soft kisses, and only exhales when leehan finally closes the gap.
leehan starts slow, almost lazy even, like he’s focusing on mapping out the feeling of taesan’s lips with his own. it’s only after a minute or two of languid kissing does leehan finally surge deeper, licking into taesan’s mouth like he wants to consume him whole.
they break apart for just a minute, and taesan uses that time to try to get the air back into his lungs. he lets leehan tug his shirt off, the other boy soon following after, and then their lips are pressed back together and taesan finds himself melting in leehan’s hands.
it’s good, it always feels good with leehan, and taesan lets out a soft moan when leehan’s arms wrap around his waist properly, pulling him closer until their chests touch and their hips are pressed together. when taean feels teeth sink into his bottom lip, he reflexively makes a noise – one so embarrassing he immediately feels heat rush to his ears with mortification. leehan grins against his lips, breaking apart to dip his head and leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses along taesan’s jawline.
“you sound so pretty,” leehan breathes out in between kisses, and taesan’s heart stutters in his chest. “and you smell so good too.”
“i- ah- took a shower,” taesan exhales shakily, shivering when leehan’s mouth brushes along his pulse point. each kiss leehan leaves on his skin spikes his heart rate, sets off a stream of fireworks in his belly. his neck has always been a bit of a weak spot, and leehan has always been more than happy to take advantage of that whenever they end up in bed together. it’s dizzying, the way leehan knows exactly how to make taesan gasp, knows where to kiss and bite to make his head spin fast enough that he forgets his own name.
he tries to stifle the groan that climbs up his throat when leehan sucks a mark into a particularly sensitive spot on his neck, throwing his head back to grant the other boy more access. it sends a heady rush of pleasure through his body when leehan moves further down, mouthing at his collarbone.
“hey, wait,” leehan murmurs after a moment, breath hot from where it fans against taesan’s flushed skin. “i’ve been thinking about something lately. i wanna try something new with you, if you’d like.”
taesan tries not to whine when leehan separates from him, but judging from the mischievous glint in leehan’s eye, it slips out of him anyway. “what is it?” he asks, breathless.
“okay, don’t freak or anything,” leehan starts, and taesan immediately tenses up. leehan must notice – of course he does – because he smiles sheepishly, looking bashful. which is weird, because taesan’s usually the one feeling shy. “but- well, i was wondering…”
leehan takes a deep breath. “can i tie you up tonight?”
and, well.
taesan freezes. he thinks he feels his heart stop, or maybe it’s beating so fast he can’t even feel it at all anymore. there’s that all-too-familiar feeling of all the blood in his body rushing to his face, but embarrassingly, in those next few seconds, his mind conjures a thousand mental images of being held down and unable to move, and oh my god-
“taesan?” leehan calls out, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. “i’m sorry, we don’t need to do it if you’re not-“
“no!” taesan interrupts. he feels the weight of leehan’s questioning stare on him, and he knows he’s blushing like crazy but he powers through, “i- i want to try it, too. for you to tie me up, i mean.”
he cringes internally at his own words, feeling awkward and unsexy and completely out of his element. but leehan’s looking at him with blown-out eyes like he’s about to devour him, and taesan can’t help the way his grip on leehan’s arms tighten, a shudder running down his body.
leehan kisses him again, slow and sweet this time. “christ, dongmin, you drive me insane,” he breathes out when he pulls away, and then he’s getting up and leaning over to reach for his bedside table. he pulls out a couple neckties – taesan recognizes one of them as the tie he wore for one of their modeling shoots, although how leehan was allowed to keep it, he doesn’t know – and suddenly it’s settling in that this is happening in real-time and isn’t just something straight out of taesan’s wet dreams.
leehan must mistake taesan’s arousal for reluctance, because his brows scrunch together in worry. “are you sure about this?” he asks.
“yes,” taesan replies, a little too quickly. his body feels like it’s burning, drawn tight like a livewire, and they haven’t even started. he tries to compose himself a little better, taking in a deep breath and looking leehan straight in the eye. “i want this.”
leehan smiles, but it’s less of that dimpley angel smile and more like a predator eyeing its prey. even with just his shirt off, taesan feels exposed. inching closer, leehan instructs, “lie down for me then, taesanie.”
taesan does as he’s asked, leehan hovering above him. when the other boy throws him one last exploring look, a silent question behind his eyes, taesan nods in confirmation, letting leehan know he wants this just as much as he does.
the tie is made of silk, softer than taesan expected. he lets leehan take his wrists, breath hitching when leehan raises them above his head, making quick work of tying his wrists together and securing them to the bed’s headboard. and it’s in those fleeting seconds does taesan wonder when the hell did his best friend get so kinky and why the fuck does it turn him on so much.
his arousal morphs with confusion when leehan snakes another tie down his arms. “wait,” taesan breathes out, tugging slightly, “what are you-“
“is this okay?” leehan asks, halting in his movements. “i don’t want you moving around too much, so i’m securing your arms too.”
“oh.” taesan swallows. like this, with black silk wrapped around his arms and leehan above him, he feels completely at the other boy’s mercy. taesan never thought of himself as submissive , but the idea of taking whatever leehan gives him makes arousal pool deep in his stomach. “yes, it’s… it’s okay.”
leehan ties one final knot, before finally sitting back on his knees between taesan’s spread legs and staring down at him in a way that makes taesan flush all the way down to his navel. he’s suddenly hyperaware of their positions, how leehan has him with the entire length of his torso exposed and his arms practically immovable with the way their tied and stretched above his head. avoiding leehan’s eyes, he tests his restraints and tries to see how much he can move, but leehan must have taken some kind of master class in tying knots because taesan ends up shocked when he finds he can barely move his arms at all.
“i’m not gonna tie your legs,” leehan murmurs, trailing a teasing finger down the length of taesan’s naked chest. a soft gasp slips out of him, the singular touch already lighting up his body. “but i want you to keep your thighs spread. you can be good for me and do that, can’t you?”
“leehan,” taesan whines, his thighs clamping shut involuntarily when leehan’s finger travels further down, teasing his rim through the fabric of his shorts. leehan tsks lightly. boldly, he spreads taesan’s thighs back open, the force of the action lighting taesan’s cheeks aflame.
it’s mortifying, the way leehan has him right where he wants him, all riled up when they haven’t even started.
“now what did i just say?” leehan questions, quirking an amused brow. it’s too much, too hot, and taesan has to avert his gaze.
“s-sorry.”
“good boy,” leehan whispers, and then their lips are crashing together and taesan is left feeling lightheaded with blazing desire.
leehan kisses him in a way that feels electric. it’s just a soft press of his lips at first, which isn’t surprising considering that’s how leehan usually starts out, but it never fails to make taesan’s skin tingle all over. leehan’s fingers brush over his cheeks as he pulls back, soft and gentle, before he’s tilting taesan’s head slightly to slide their lips together better. taesan gives up all control, let’s leehan take the lead like he always does.
heat spreads all throughout him when leehan’s hands travel up and down his waist, gripping hard in a way that’ll definitely leave marks the next morning. taesan whimpers softly, head tilting back into the other boy’s mouth, pliant and soft and open and wanting beneath leehan. leehan kisses taesan like he can’t get enough, licking into his mouth and sucking softly on his tongue, making taesan shiver and whine against the other boy’s lips. it’s languid and heady and hot and has taesan’s head spinning, filling him with the urge to rut against leehan’s body.
when leehan finally pulls away, he does so slowly, tongue swiping over taesan’s and teeth softly catching on his lower lip, tugging gently and leaving taesan panting. taesan can feel the hotness in his cheeks and tries very hard not to think about what he must look like right now. when he flutters his eyes back open, leehan’s already watching him, gazing down at him in a way that can only be described as hungry.
“god, dongmin-ah,” leehan exhales, in between peppering open-mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin of taesan’s neck as taesan shivers beneath him. “you’re so pretty like this. makes me wanna have you under me forever.”
taesan tries to quip back – tries to say something like that’s not possible dumbass – but his voice is breathless and on the verge of a moan, even more so when leehan’s hands are back on his chest, playfully tracing his fingers around his areola and making him squirm in embarrassment at the attention.
“donghyun- ah! - not there,” taesan keens, a shameful noise in the back of his throat. biting his lip, he turns his head slightly into the crook of his raised arm to hide his reddening face. leehan grins playfully, rubbing his stupid fingers against taesan’s nipples, flicking and tugging lightly on the peaked buds.
“do you like it when i touch you here?” leehan asks teasingly, and taesan burns. he’s never paid much attention to his chest before, but having leehan play with it like he’s some kind of toy makes him feel dizzy with pleasure. when leehan leans down, taesan doesn’t even have time to stop the moan from being ripped out of him at the feeling of leehan’s warm tongue against his chest, licking and sucking until his nipples feel downright abused. having leehan’s mouth on somewhere so sensitive brings out all sorts of noises taesan didn’t even know he could make, and his embarrassment only amplifies when he can’t bring a hand over his mouth to hide it.
“fuck,” leehan finally breathes out with one final lick to the swollen bud, and taesan feels crimson bloom all over his cheeks when he risks a glance down to see how wet and flushed his chest has gotten. leehan notices, grinning up at taesan with a playful smirk as he says, “one day, i’m gonna make you come just from playing with your nipples alone,” and taesan’s too far gone to tell if it sounds more like a promise or a threat. frankly, he doesn’t know which turns him on more.
he whimpers weakly when leehan continues kissing down his navel, his lips leaving hot trails of fire in its wake. it’s honestly a bit ticklish, and by the time leehan’s nipping at his lower stomach, taesan’s trembling in his hold.
leehan glances up, stare dark and heavy. “i’m gonna take these off now,” he murmurs softly, hooking his fingers on the waistband of taesan’s shorts. imperceptibly, taesan nods, and that’s all it takes for leehan to strip him bare.
it’s not the first time leehan’s seen him naked, but being so vulnerable in front of his best friend never fails to make taesan shy. even more so when leehan’s between his spread thighs gazing at him like taesan’s something worthy of worship, like taesan might be the only person existing in the little bubble they’ve made for themselves.
leehan’s eyes zero in on taesan’s length, the sudden attention making taesan want to cover up and bury himself in underground. “you know,” leehan starts, tone conversational like they’re talking about their plans tomorrow and not the absolutely lewd way the other boy is staring down at taesan’s naked body, “your dick is like, really pretty.”
taesan splutters. “dicks aren’t pretty,” he argues, but he can feel his face flame hot and he’s sure leehan can see it too. leehan winks at him teasingly, and then he’s reaching for the bottle of lube on his bedside table like he didn’t just heat every nerve in taesan’s body alight.
“keep your legs spread for me, okay?” he says. taesan sucks in a breath as he struggles to obey leehan’s words, thighs clenching with the need to close. he shuts his eyes, trying to ignore how vulnerable his current position is.
which means he isn’t prepared for the warm, slick hand that wraps around him.
“ah!- oh, god, leehan-“
“always so sensitive,” leehan coos, lithe fingers sliding up and down, and taesan makes an embarrassing noise when one fingertip circles the head of his cock, teasing. his stomach lurches when the ties around his arms prevent him from budging away from the focused, intense touch.
taesan bites his lip and lets his head loll back against the pillows, panting as leehan falls into a rhythm and starts to jerk him off. it’s hot, it’s so hot, making him quiver all over.
“please,” he whines, but he’s not really sure what he’s begging for. “leehan, i can’t-“
leehan hums, trailing his free hand to prod at taesan’s exposed rim. the action has him gasping, face reddening as he tugs on the restraints against the headboard. “there’s no point in struggling, taesanie,” leehan says in a singsong voice, “unless you like confirming that you can’t get away.”
god. there’s barely two hands on him, and it’s already too much. taesan thinks he might actually die. this is how he’s going to go out, tied to leehan’s bed.
when the mattress dips with leehan’s weight once more, taesan’s eyes flutter open, and a flush spreads across his cheeks when the other boy’s mouth is inches from the tip of his cock. “donghyun,” he exhales, body twitching when leehan’s hot breath ghosts against his skin.
“you’re so pretty here,” is leehan’s only reply, and taesan yelps when the other boy spreads him open with his hands, licking tiny bites all over the soft skin of his inner thighs. taesan’s legs are especially long, and the expanse of sensitive skin gives leehan ample space to paint them with his mouth. there’s equal parts desire and mortification pooling low in taesan’s gut when he feels the younger move inward to nose against his balls, and he’s left gasping and writhing at the feeling of being completely exposed.
it’s made even worse when taesan realizes leehan isn’t shying away from any part of his crotch, leaving kisses all over and hot, wet swipes along his length that has him crying out, but he can’t move – not when leehan’s fingers are clutching his thighs, strong and unyielding.
“fuck,” he cries, the familar feeling of something deep uncoiling in his core as his thighs spasm in leehan’s hold. “donghyun- hngh- stop, ‘m gonna come-“
slowly, leehan pulls away, and taesan can’t help but whine at the loss. this is already the most pent-up he’s ever been in his life, and he doesn’t realize there are tears gathering in the corners of his eyes until he feels the younger boy brushing them away.
“you’re doing so well, angel,” leehan promises, the petname sending an unfamiliar thrill down taesan’s spine. “do you still want this?”
“yes,” taesan breathes out instantly, chest heaving as he tries to calm down. he knows the rest of his dignity is long gone when he blurts out, “please, i want you inside me so bad or i’m gonna fucking die.”
leehan laughs – the audacity , really, when he’s been teasing taesan this entire time. he’s still smiling when he leaves a sweet peck on taesan’s lips, eyes shining with mirth. “we have all night, dongmin-ah,” he whispers lowly. “i wanna take my sweet time with you.”
“what?” taesan breathes out, not quite getting it.
leehan’s grin is a little evil, and taesan’s starting to think there’s something seriously wrong with him when it turns him on even more. “i’ll still fuck you, don’t worry. but i kinda wanna try edging you, too.”
the words sink in, making taesan’s eyes widen. he’s not against the idea, but it’s new and he’s never done that before and mostly he’s just worried he’ll make a complete fool of himself.
leehan must sense some of his anxiousness, because his eyes soften, a hand coming up to thumb along taesan’s jaw. “just a bit,” he assures. he leans down to kiss along taesan’s neck, the feeling making taesan arch into the touch.
“tell me if i should stop,” leehan murmurs, and taesan shakes his head.
“don’t,” he exhales, the sound tapering off into a moan when leehan’s hand travels back down to brush along his cock again. “oh, god, please don’t stop.”
leehan starts a steady rhythm, granting taesan a few measured strokes before closing his hand around the base of his cock. it’s slow, too slow, and it’s driving taesan insane. he doesn’t realize he’s biting his lip until leehan reaches up with his clean hand to pull it free. almost instinctively, taesan lets his mouth part open, nearly missing the way leehan’s eyes widen as he slides two fingers between his lips.
“shit,” leehan whispers, pressing down on taesan’s tongue in a way that has his eyes rolling back as he chokes on a moan. “you’re so perfect for me, taesanie.”
the other boy continues to lightly rub over taesan’s yielding tongue. for some reason, it’s the most lewd thing they’ve done today. leehan’s gaze turns even darker when taesan just takes it, lets leehan prod and press until there’s a line of drool dripping down his chin.
it’s obscene. it’s degrading and should be disgusting but taesan is harder than ever and leehan only makes matters worse when his hand continues teasing taesan’s dick. taesan can feel himself leaking all over, his precum making a mess of the skin below his belly button.
when leehan’s mouth moves down to claim a tender space on taesan’s inner thigh, taesan can’t help the way he cries out, thighs clamping over leehan’s head. leehan doesn’t seem to mind though, the way he continues stroking taesan’s length and tracing random patterns on his balls. the touch is light, but taesan’s so sensitive that he’s writhing against the mattress in record time, gasping when leehan’s tongue darts to lick a hot stripe along his cock.
“donghyun,” he sobs, hips twitching in leehan’s hold. “donghyun- ah!- ‘m close, please-“
leehan interrupts his rambling with a kiss, his palm gently petting the inside of taesan’s thighs. “i know, taesanie, i know. you’ve been so good for me, you deserve a reward, don’t you?”
taesan nods absentmindedly, throwing his head back against the pillows as he tries to catch his breath. when he feels the hand leehan’s got on his thigh inch higher, he finds himself panicking, jerking away from the touch.
“wait,” he exhales, a blush lighting his cheeks. “just- just give me a moment. i think i might come if you keep touching me.”
“oh.” for once, leehan looks dumbstruck, freezing in his movements before he groans into his hands. “christ, taesan, you’re so… so hot.”
“shut up,” taesan grumbles. he squeezes his eyes close for a second, feeling the tight coil in his gut starting to unwind. “okay,” he says; he’s still hard, cock flushed and hanging heavy, and he can feel leehan’s own boner pressing against his leg. honestly, taesan’s surprised he’s even last this long. “okay, i’m good now.”
“sure?” leehan asks, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of taesan’s lip.
“yes,” taesan asserts with a roll of his eyes. “please, please fuck me, i swear to god-“
“okay, okay!” leehan laughs lightly, leaving another kiss to taesan’s lips. “you’re so cute when you get all fussy.”
leehan begins trailing hot kisses down his navel, taesan’s breaths growing erratic the closer the other boy gets to his leaking dick. “wait,” taesan suddenly murmurs, nudging his knee to leehan’s chest to get his attention. “can… can you untie me now? i want to touch you too.”
the other boy glances up at him in surprise, like he’s never considered that taesan might be dying to touch him too. smiling softly, leehan nods. somehow, like some kind of magic, leehan unties knots even faster than he ties them. once he’s done, tossing the ties somewhere to the floor, taesan stretches and flexes his arms in an attempt to get feeling back into the muscle.
“now can i continue?” leehan asks playfully. taesan rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the way the younger’s eyes zero in on his biceps.
“dork,” is all he says before he’s pulling leehan in for a kiss and crashing their lips together. his hands are in leehan’s hair, the smooth skin of his shoulders, his waist, and it feels good.
eventually, leehan breaks the kiss, and taesan flutters his eyes open to see leehan smiling at him in a way that’s far too gentle for his heart. his hands roam absentmindedly on the small of taesan’s waist, over the top of his thighs and his hips, and taesan’s breath hitches when leehan’s palms inch closer towards his ass.
“still with me?” leehan asks softly.
“yeah,” taesan swallows. “how do you want to do this?”
leehan giggles, which would have been really cute and innocent if he wasn’t about to fuck taesan with his dick. “unless you want to be face-down and ass-up, you can just lay down all pretty like this.”
taesan feels his ears go hot at the image. “not yet,” he murmurs, “though you could have me like that another time.”
the effect is instant, something dark flashing through leehan’s eyes as he sits up a little straighter, hands trailing down taesan’s thighs. “actually… okay, hold on,” leehan pauses, humming. “pull your knees up to your chest and hold them there.”
leehan’s already seen him there before, but the revealing position still has taesan hesitating for a moment, flushing down to his chest when he slowly does as the other boy says. he tries not to squirm when leehan’s eyes drift down to latch onto his rim, but the obscene way the other boy is looking at him makes taesan have to stifle a whine, covering his face with his hand in a poor attempt to hide.
he feels the mattress dip when leehan leans down, a soft gasp escaping him when the younger’s hot breath ghosts against his hole. “you’re already twitching,” leehan says in a hushed whisper, almost like he’s mesmerized. “you must have missed having my fingers in here, huh?”
“donghyun,” taesan moans brokenly, before it dissolves into a pathetic whine as soon as leehan lays the flat of his tongue over taesan’s rim. humiliation washes over him when taesan registers a lubed-up finger prodding inside as well, and his hips buck into the touch without his permission.
leehan’s chuckle is buried in the midst of the noises as he continues to drag his tongue over and over and over against taesan’s hole, his warm hands on the back of taesan’s thighs, holding him there. taesan feels used and worshipped all at once, and when leehan slides another finger in, he whimpers at the stretch.
it’s somehow even hotter this time, with leehan continuing to lick into him, sucking and laving his tongue everywhere he can reach. taesan trembles and moans when the other boy gets another finger inside, rhythmically clenching and relaxing around it. “ fuck,” he keens as leehan starts to thrust. “leehan, more, please-”
there’s that slight bit of pain that stings at the back of his spine, but it’s overpowered by just how good leehan’s mouth feels. leehan doesn’t hesitate to look for taesan’s prostate, and taesan whimpers helplessly as leehan narrows in on that sensitive spot.
it doesn’t take long until he’s crying out nonsensical pleas – a mix of curse words and leehan’s name and a whole lot of begging. when leehan pulls both his tongue and his fingers out, taesan downright sobs at the loss, scrambling against the bedsheets.
“shh, it’s okay, i got you,” leehan promises, tugging his own shorts down. taesan feels his throat go dry when he catches sight of leehan’s cock. he thinks back to what the other boy said earlier, about dicks being pretty, and taesan can’t help but think that leehan might actually be right.
“you’re staring,” leehan teases. taesan immediately averts his eyes.
“because you’re beautiful,” he says softly, too heartfelt and genuine and vulnerable, and taesan’s worried leehan can see right through him. but all leehan does is smile in a way that’s too tender for taesan’s heart, gently brushing taesan’s bangs from where it’s plastered on his forehead.
“says you,” leehan counters, gaze fond. taesan watches him as he swipes lube along his length, his body braced and tense in anticipation. when leehan grabs a spare condom, about to rip it open, taesan finds himself reaching up to stop him before he even realizes what he’s doing, the younger staring down at him in confusion.
“taesan, what-“
“i don’t mind not using a condom,” taesan confesses quietly. he can feel leehan’s gaze on the side of his face, but he’s honestly too embarrassed to make eye contact. “want to feel you inside.”
he hears the way leehan’s breath hitches, before he’s suddenly being pushed back down on the mattress. “you are driving me crazy,” is leehan’s only response, and then he’s tugging taesan close and locking their lips together in a feverish haze.
taesan allows himself to get lost in the feeling of leehan’s mouth, moaning softly when he feels the other boy’s tongue prod against his lips. it’s heated and wonderful and taesan’s mind starts to go fuzzy, until he feels the head of leehan’s cock prod into him, pulling away momentarily to gasp as his head hangs between his shoulders.
“oh shit,” he pants, can feel his rim twitching around leehan’s dick. “you’re big.”
“you flatter me,” leehan says, but his voice sounds strained and taesan can tell he’s affected too. “god, dongmin-ah, i wish you could see yourself. so gorgeous and beautiful, all for me.”
taesan shakes his head, eyes fluttering shut as he gasps out a moan when leehan slides further inside him. unable to help himself, taesan grabs leehan down by the arms, until leehan gets the hint and they’re kissing again for what seems like the nth time that night. it’s hungrier than anything else they’ve shared tonight, but taesan hopes it’s a kiss that conveys just how much he feels right now, in this moment.
with their lips still locked, leehan begins slowly thrusting into taesan’s hole. every sound taesan makes is vibrated against leehan’s lips, but the other boy continues to kiss him through it, a distraction from the dull sting that comes with being penetrated. leehan’s free hand finds taesan’s waist, squeezing him soothingly while inching the rest of his length into him, drawing out a slightly pained moan as taesan breaks away.
“i know,” leehan shushes when a broken whine tumbles out from taesan’s lips, before he’s burying his face into leehan’s shoulder and trying to muffle himself.
“donghyun,” taesan shudders from where he’s pressed to leehan’s collarbone, once he’s gotten used to the feeling of leehan’s dick inside him. he hears leehan hum, a sign to show he’s listening. “please, you can move.”
“are you sure?” leehan asks, one more time before anything else. taesan finds himself nodding his head vehemently, and that’s all it takes for the last of leehan’s resolve to completely crumble.
taesan can feel the way leehan pulls his hips back halfway, only to push back into him in one, fluid motion that makes taesan scream . leehan begins with small thrusts, gradually speeding up in pace. it feels amazing, better than taesan expected it to feel, and he knows he’s gone when all he can do is lie there and moan out leehan’s name.
“you feel so good, taesanie,” leehan murmurs reverently, the hand on taesan’s waist squeezing tight enough to leave marks. taesan squirms beneath him, breaths coming in heavy and a flush painting his body down to his chest. he can’t really formulate words anymore, not when he can feel leehan everywhere inside him, but he wraps his legs around leehan’s hips and tries to bring him even closer, wants to deliriously merge their bodies into one.
“deeper,” taesan manages to say, the end of his words bleeding into a drawn out moan. “i want- i want you deeper, please-“
leehan might have said something in reply, but taesan can’t really hear, not when leehan is slamming into him and making his moans slip out of him unrestrained. distantly, taesan can still feel embarrassment over being so loud, but he doesn’t really have the time or energy to wonder whether jaehyun and sungho can hear him from the next room over when the tip of leehan’s dick brushes along his prostrate, making him cry out in pleasure.
“gonna come- ah!- donghyun, please, faster,” he sobs.
he hears leehan groan above him. “i’m not gonna last long,” the other boy warns, and honestly, taesan’s a little relieved. he’s been feeling his orgasm bubble up in his stomach for the better part of the last half hour, but as ridiculous as it sounds, he still wants the both of them to come together.
“donghyun, wait,” taesan gasps out, whimpers when leehan keeps pressing up against his prostrate. “i’m gonna come- please, can i?”
he feels leehan press his lips on the side of his neck, surprisingly soft considering what they’re doing right now. “you’re so perfect, dongmin,” leehan murmurs, and there’s something in his voice, something that taesan can’t quite place that makes his heart ache. “god, i…”
he trails off. taesan doesn’t know what he might have said, and he might have lingered on it if he didn’t feel the coil in his stomach unraveling, pushing him closer to the edge of his orgasm.
“i’m so close,” taesan pants, thighs clenching in warning as he trembles in leehan’s arms. “please, i can’t-“
“you can come, dongmin-ah,” leehan urges breathlessly, and that’s all it takes for taesan’s jaw to go slack as his orgasm crashes over him stronger than a tidal wave. he can feel leehan’s stare on him, hot and heavy and intense, but he doesn’t dwell on what mortifying expression he must have on when he feels leehan come just seconds after, painting his walls and making him feel so full.
leehan’s moans are softer, panting into taesan’s neck as they both ride out their orgasm. taesan can feel leehan go soft inside him, and he whimpers when the other boy finally pulls out, can feel the way leehan’s come drips outside of him in a way that’s almost pornographic.
completely blissed-out, taesan throws an arm over his eyes as he catches his breath. he feels leehan gently break away from he was resting his head on taesan’s chest. it takes him a couple more moments, but when he finally turns his head to look at leehan, he’s met with the sight of the other boy with his phone out, the camera pointing right in the direction of taesan’s hole.
the flash goes off.
“hey- kim donghyun!” taesan yelps, shutting his thighs close and wincing immediately when he feels the sting of pain in his lower body. he promptly ignores it, struggling to sit up and trying to grab at leehan’s arms. “delete that!”
leehan laughs, a melodic fond sound that makes taesan’s heart feel all funny. “oh, come on!” he grins, “i needed to commemorate the moment.”
“donghyun,” taesan complains, face feeling hot. “it’s embarrassing.”
“no, it’s not,” leehan insists, thumbing taesan’s cheek and wiping away his sweat. “not to me, at least. you’re so beautiful dongmin, trust me.”
taesan bites his lip, feeling the fight drain out of him. “fine,” he relents, “but i will murder you if anyone else sees that.”
he obviously meant it as an exaggeration – although he might actually die in morbid embarrassment if anyone else really did lay eyes on that picture – so it surprises him when leehan’s gaze turns a little darker. “i am definitely not sharing this with anyone,” he states, almost possesively, and it makes taesan’s breath stutter against his own will.
leehan takes it as a cue to change the subject, flopping down beside taesan and watching his expression carefully. “how do you feel?” the other boy asks. “was i- was it good? did you like it?”
“my ass hurts like a bitch,” taesan groans out, which makes leehan giggle. “but, yeah, it was… amazing, actually. although…” he pauses, turning to look leehan straight in the eye. “you’re a little freaky, you know that?”
“maybe,” leehan smiles, eyes crinkling in amusement. “but you can’t judge me when you looked like you were definitely enjoying it too.”
taesan shoves him away lightly, a blush rising to his cheeks as he covers his face in his hands. “you’re so insufferable,” he grumbles, and leehan’s laugh is suddenly the prettiest noise in the world.
“let me get you cleaned up, okay?” leehan says. taesan doesn’t have the energy to protest, simply nodding and letting leehan take the lead once more.
the other boy is gentle in his movements, wiping taesan down carefully. taesan is still sensitive all over, whimpering softly whenever the wipes leehan’s using brushes against his crotch, but leehan holds him through it and murmurs sweet praises that has taesan’s heart stuttering in his chest. taesan has to remind himself to breathe. the air around them feels a little too intimate now, even more so when leehan presses a chaste kiss to the inside of his thigh.
“all better?” leehan asks once he’s done. taesan nods, grateful. he feels guilty all of a sudden, thinking about how good leehan is to him and wondering whether he truly deserves it.
“i should go,” taesan says quietly, picking up his shirt from where it’s discarded on the floor. “it’s late, and jaehyun and sungho hyung might have questions if they find me the next morning-“
“hey, wait, taesan-“ leehan flounders, grabbing onto taesan’s hand before he can get up. “you don’t need to leave so suddenly.”
leehan’s eyes are wide and just a little bit glassy. he’s staring in a way that makes taesan feel seen, makes him want to break eye contact, but taesan can’t bring himself to look away. and for just one, split-second taesan could have sworn leehan’s eyes darted down, right at his lips.
his throat suddenly feels very dry. “donghyun-“
“stay the night,” leehan interrupts softly. he’s looking at taesan like he might actually love him, and it’s scary. “come on, taesanie, i… i don’t want you to leave yet.”
and, really, how could taesan say no to that?
they lie there on leehan’s bed, naked except for their shirts. leehan falls asleep first, snuggling into taesan’s side as his breaths even out. taesan can’t bring himself to do the same though.
because it’s in that moment, with the other boy bathed in moonlight and admittedly drooling onto taesan’s shoulder, does taesan finally admit something to himself. the realization doesn’t hit him like a ton of bricks, but it’s something he thinks he’s felt this whole time, maybe since the very beginning.
he likes leehan. he likes leehan.
and it terrifies him. he thinks of leehan’s bright eyes and beautiful smile and the way he’s always been so easy to be around. he thinks of warm hands and lingering stares caught on-camera and the fact that leehan’s never really left his side ever since they met. he thinks of shared kisses and leehan making him fall apart in his hands and love-
oh fuck.