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Things weren't going on their normal track today. First of all, and most probably the reason for it all: everyone was very stressed.
It was a hard week, long days and nights of work and different challenges to overcome.
One can only have so much to give, when you get to your limits and don't get your deserved rest, things can go downhill really fast.
Everyone had finished what they had to do, projects were done and they could finally rest. That does not mean everything was suddenly fine. The stress was still high.
So to try and lighten up the mood, it was decided they would watch a movie, after this long week.
This is how it all began: None of the regressors were little, but they were tired and Minho was already expecting for them to slip at some point of the night. What he didn't expect was for Mimi not to slip, but be a complete brat, trying to get on everybody's nerves for some reason, even though she wasn't normally like that when regressed.
Anyone could see from Minho's tense shoulders and serious voice that his patience with the girl was running out.
She goes from poking Felix, with the poor boy only laughing it off; to irritanting Jeongin, that could only whine and try to run away, and responding Chan in a way you could only describe as disrespectfull when he tried to get her to calm down and leave the boys alone.
You could see they were trying to understand the girl's estrange behaviour.
All but Minho.
Minho was already at his wits end. He didn't want to be understanding anymore, he wanted it to stop. And when she started to disturb Jisung while he tried to choose a movie for them to watch, he was past his limits.
"Sungie, but what if we watch the animation one? Hm?"
"I already watched that one. Let's watch something different today."
"But i want to watch the animation."
The girl was clearly trying to annoy Jisung. For what? Not even she knew herself. It was just an itch under her skin, a pressure on her heart, nothing seemed right today. And she obviouly didn't know how to process or express this feelings.
"But it's my turn to choose the movie!" Jisung said more harshly, getting frustrated with her insistence.
"But Sungie-"
"Mimi... stop with this. It's Jisung's turn to choose, so let him choose watever he wants."
Said Minho, interupting her whining, with a serious tone of voice. A warning. Because even if both of them weren't little, there was still a sense of responsibility, they still respected his guiding.
Or so that's what all of them thought. It wasn't the case tonight, apparently, because at his warning she just rolled her eyes, not even sparing him a glance and continued.
"Then let's watch an action movie instead."
"No! You heard hyung, it's my turn. Yours was already two weeks ago."
" Ugh! But you only like stupid movies!"
" Millie! Enough!"
At this everyone in the room looked his way, including the person the words were directed to.
She was trying to mantain a facade of indiference, but he knew her so well that he could see the surprise she was trying to conceal in her expression.
"Why are you like this today, huh?"
"I'm normal."
"No, you're not! All day you've been getting on everyone's nerves. So tell me, what is up with that?!"
"Nothing! And i'm not doing anything, so mind your business!"
"Mimi..." Warned Chan, he and all of the others were surprised with her way of talking. She never spoke with any of them like that, least of all Minho.
"What? I'm normal! You're all just boring today."
"I'm giving you one last chance to explain yourself, so you better start now." He said with a serious voice.
"I'm not little now, so what are you gonna do? Put me in time out? Shut up."
Nobody dared to even breathe at that moment. It was unknown territory.
"Hey! Where is the respect?"
"I'm older than you, so you should pay me respect!"
"So what? I'm a humam being too! Where is my respect?"
"You're so annoying today!"
"And you are being a brat! Why are you being so difficult the whole day?"
"I'm not a brat!"
"You're stressing everyone out! It's so hard to deal with you today!"
After all this discussion, it was this phrase that send a pang in her heart.
"Then don't deal with me!"
"What do you even mean by that?!"
At this point all the other boys were just watching them scream at each other. Some surprised, some worried and in Jisung's case, already at the verge of crying.
"Don't deal with me! If it's so hard then go away, i don't need you!"
And after all this discussion, it was this phrase that send a pang in his heart.
"Oh, so it's like that now?! You don't need me?! Okay then! But don't come crying back when you get in your senses and realize i'm not there!"
At this the tears were already making their way down her face, even if she tried to fight them harder than she was fighting him.
"I hate you!"
"Well gues what?! The feeling is mutual!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
With that she run to her room and banged the door closed. He got his things and was out the front door in a second. The night was ruined, the boys were shocked, Jisung was cying and nobody knew how to fix it.
Inside the dark room, Mimi was in her bed, seated against the wall, holding Sootie while she cried her heart out.
Nothing that came out of her mouth today was truth, she didn't understand what came over her.
The itch wasn't there anymore. Instead it was sadness, despair, fear, regret.
Minho was a part of her everything, of her whole world, together with the other boys. What was she suposed to do now? Without his love and care, his guidance, his cuddles, him. She doesn't hate him, of course not, how could she? But did he knew that? Did he knew that she was at her limit and said things she didn't mean?
Was it a excuse? Did she deserve to feel like this and cry, even when everything was her own fault?
So she hated herself and the things she said. The girl never cried like this in her whole life, with such hopelessness. Not even trying to calm down, not even holding Sootie anymore, she didn't deserve any comfort. She was bad, a bad baby, now daddy hated her. She annoyed everyone and ruined movie night. All of them must hate her now. She was alone.
Minho was walking aimlessly trough the streets, his phone vibrating in his pocket but he wouldn't check. He just needed some time alone, in silence, to try and understand how things scalated to that.
His feelings were hurt by the way she talked with him.
He didn't hate her and she didn't hate him, this he knew, or he hoped so. But listening the words being said didn't hurt any less. And he was so mad with her behaviour, at the same time he wanted to understand, because it wasn't common for her to act that way.
Was he too harsh? Did he neglect some signs for it to get to this point? Was she okay? Was Sungie okay? The last time he looked his way the boy was a second away from cying, and not so far from slipping it seemed.
He needed to get back. Solve this mess and have a good night of sleep, preferably with his babies.
Still in the living room Chan was trying to calm an inconsolable Jisung down, the boy crying and calling for his daddy. The moment the fight ended and each one went their own way Jisung was little and didn't know who to follow, but if that was someone that could make everything better it was his daddy, so he tried to go for the front door and follow Minho. Chan didn't let him, and the crying got heavier.
"I know, baby, i know. Your daddy will be back soon, don't worry, hm? Let's take a deep breath, okay?"
"I'm going to see how Mimi is doing, hyung."
"Good idea Binnie. Minnie keep trying to call Minho again, please."
"On it, hyung."
It wasn't necessary to get too close to the door to hear her cries. Broken, heavy, clearly hard to breath through.
"Mimi, baby, can Binnie open the door?"
He didn't know if she was regressed or not, but either way he tried to respect her privacy.
He received no answer, only more sobs. It was hard to listen to it. Anyone that heard it could clearly feel the regret in them.
"Baby, you need to breathe. Binnie will open the door to help you okay?"
No response.
So he got inside the room, the lights from the corridor helped to find the trembling figure of the girl in her bed holding herself.
"Hey Mimi, it's going to be okay honey, you just need to breathe."
She continued to cry, looking at Changbin taking a seat beside her, carefully.
"Can Binnie touch you?"
The girl shook her head no.
"No? Okay, but i'm here, for anything that you need."
"Ha-te me." The girl said and Changbin had a better guess she was in headspace now.
"Hate you? Nobody hates you, baby."
"Hate, Mimi bad, bad, bad girl, bad!" With each word she got more overwhelmed, starting to get physical, punching her thighs and grabbing her hair.
"Hey, hey! None of that. You're gonna hurt yourself baby." He said holding her wrists, trying to pry them away from her hair.
"Hate! Hate! Daddy hate! E'yone! 'lone!"
"Shh, nobody hates anyone here. We all love each other." He just hoped Minho would come back soon and try to fix this mess.
When the door opened everyone in the living room breathed a sigh of relief, exept the worn out little that Chan was cuddling with.
"Minho, we tried calling you." He said almost whispering, not to break the silent atmosphere in the room.
"I know, i'm sorry, hyung. I needed some time alone."
"We understand, hyung." Said hyunjin by the other side of the little.
Minho got slowly closer to Jisung, the little too tired to move, just slowly extending his arms in the other's direction.
"Hey baby..." Minho said quietly, holding Sungie's hands.
"I'm sorry for before, it must have been scary, hm?"
The boy nodded, sniffling.
Minho got even closer and hugged the little gently. Whispering on his hair.
" I'm so sorry, baby. Daddy will talk with Mimi, kay?" Another nod.
"You want to keep cuddling with hyung here? After daddy talks with Mimi i will be back, hm? I love you."
He kissed the baby's head and got up to go to their room, listening to Chan talking quietly to Sungie about putting a cartoon to watch.
When he got to the room's door it was still possible to hear the faint cries from inside. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for a conversation he didn't know how it would go.
When the door opened, both Changbin and Mimi looked over, when the girl made eye contact with Minho closing the door behind himself, she started crying harder all over again, like she didn't spend the last hour crying her heart out.
Changbin looked saddly at her and at Minho. Slowly getting his hands out of her grasp and getting up after patting her hair lovingly.
He got closer to Minho and whispered:
"Hey hyung, she calmed down a little for a while and is regressed, but i think you should know she tried to hurt herself by punching her legs and pulling her hair, so i had to stop that and kept holding her hands."
Minho got even sadder with the news, looking at his little girl.
"Thanks, Binnie." And with a nod Changbin got out of the room and it was just the two of them, in the almost dark room, the only source of light being the pochacco night light on the other side of her bed that Changbin must have turned on.
Minho took a seat beside the girl, not too close, on the end of the bed. They were looking at each other, but didn't know where to start. The girl still crying.
"Mim-"
"Sorry! S- sorry daddy! Sorry! Don't hate daddy! Love daddy! Don't hate Mimi p'ease! Don't hate, don't hate, p'ease! Mimi bad! Bad girl!" She cried out, words jumbled, with sniffles and sobs in between sentences. Minho could understand what she tried to say, and even if it hurt, he couldn't go easy on her behaviour from today.
"Daddy doesn't hate you, okay? Daddy could never hate you, and i'm sorry i told you that, i'm really sorry, i hope you know i didn't mean it."
He started without touching her, while she listened, crying and holding the fabric of her pajama pants in little fists.
"But you need to know that your behaviour today and the things you said were not nice, you don't scream at us, or tell us to shut up and roll your eyes. We don't do that, that can hurt the others feelings. Do you understand that?"
The little nodded.
" I need words, are you comfortable to talk now?"
"Yes, daddy."
"So you understand where you've been wrong today? That you hurt my feelings, was disrepectfull with me and Chan hyung and was giving a hard time to the other boys?"
"Yes, daddy. I'm so'wy, daddy." More tears dripping her face.
"Hm, you're forgiven by me, but you need to apologise to the other boys too, okay?"
"Y- yes."
"Good." He was still serious, not touching or babying her. Yet.
"But now I wan't to understand what happened. Why were you acting so different today? Did something happen?"
"No."
"If nothing happened, can you try to explain to me how you were feeling?"
"J-just, big feelings, chest huwt. Wowk too much, stwess. "
"Were you feeling overwhelmed and stressed?"
She nodded at that.
"If you feel like that you talk with someone, you know? If not, you can say you need some time alone to sleep more, do something you like, or try to write about how you feel, we already talked about these options, right?"
She nodded again.
Minho was almost breaking with the way she was crying and looked so guilty and unsure of herself.
"I already forgave you, but you need to try and talk to us when you don't feel okay so this doesn't happen again, okay?"
"K-ay."
"I love you, you know that?"
These brought even more tears and sobs.
She shook her head no.
"No? But i love you, baby, i really do."
"No, don't desweve."
"You don't deserve?"
She shook her head again.
"Baby, of course you deserve to be loved. You're so kind, and cute, and good." At all of that she just kept disagreeing.
"Hey, can daddy give you a hug?"
"No, don't desweve."
"Baby, i already forgave you. Daddy really wants a hug now. But if you don't want to it's okay. But don't think you don't deserve love, we all make mistakes. It was a hard week and you were tired and overwhelmed, right?"
At that she just gave up, still thinking she didn't deserved the care, but she wanted so much.
They hugged, with the little getting in his lap. At the closeness with her favorite person, she cried some more, and a headache was sure to come for all this crying. But all that mattered at the moment was that daddy was hugging her.
"Don' t hate daddy. I so'wy. P'ease daddy no hate."
"No hate, baby. Don't worry. I love you so much and i know you didn't mean it, right? Just don't do it again, okay?"
"Kay, so daddy no leave 'lone?"
"I will never leave you alone."
"Tomorrow we will talk about your punishments, okay? And you're going to apologise to the other boys."
"Kay, daddy."
"Let's call Sungie here and sleep?"
"Yeah." She said with her head on his shoulder, eyes closing. He giggled at that.
"Don't sleep yet, we have to brush our teeth."
"Hm..." She mumbled already falling asleep.
It was a hard week and a harder night. But at the end of the day they loved each other.
Everything wasn't magically solved, but with comunication and understanding things would work out.
Love and relief, that's what all three of them were feeling while cuddling to sleep together.