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“You're going to be a second year student soon.” Hiragi told him back then.
“I know.” Kaji answered, annoyed at being treated like a child.
“You gotta take care of the first years – don't give me that expression. You know what I'm talkin’ about.”
How bad could it be? Hiragi, as much as Kaji respected him, was too much of a worrywart sometimes. Kaji could handle a few snooty first years without immediately resorting to punching them. Probably. Although, punching is a highly effective method to get others to listen to you, so there was no reason not to use it. He was punched so many times when he was a first year and he turned out alright, anyway.
“Kaji…” Hiragi sighed. “Not everything can be solved with violence. Actually, most things can't and you know it.”
Knowing and taking in the information turned out to be much more difficult than he realized. The new students this year were…interesting. Kaji had to push some around for a bit, to get rid of their huge ego, because half of them only respected Umemiya and never bothered to listen to anyone else.
And then there was Sakura Haruka. Sakura, who never respected anyone – because apparently honorifics are overrated? – and who'd find the fastest route to get into trouble. Sakura, who thought he could deal with everything on his own, then when he realized he couldn’t, he'd stand up in front of Kaji and look like he's seconds away from crying. Needless to say, Kaji didn't like him, but it was partially due to the fact that it felt like he was looking at a mirror.
They didn't have the best start, to be honest, with Kaji being ticked off by Sakura's insensitive question.
There's no point in you making you a leader!
Alright – first of all, rude! Secondly, fuck that. Kaji didn't ask to be a leader, he was put in this position for some ungodly reason that was beyond him. Also, jokes on Sakura, because he got into the same situation, which would’ve made Kaji laugh but again – mirror and everything.
Anyway, after talking so much shit, he had the nerve to come to Kaji after their fight against KEEL – which turned out to be such a shit show by the way – while looking like a beaten up kitty. Kaji never did well with crying people, and while Sakura didn't look like the type to cry, he could never be too sure. He just crossed his fingers, hoping the other could contain the tears that were welling up in his eyes.
The first was to get the idiot a drink, just in case he would start crying they'd be prepared for it. His second action was to take Sakura to the rooftop, away from prying eyes and curious stares, away from the nosy people. The best location he could come up with was the rooftop, even though it ran the chance of meeting a senpai up there, it was worth the risk. Kaji could never forget the conversation he had with Hiragi last year, and back then, when he was almost crying himself (though he'd deny it vehemently nowadays), the wind made up for a good excuse to cover his face. Hiragi also said that it was best to have such a conversation at a high place, not that he knew why, but Hiragi was smarter than him so the reason behind it must be good.
The walk upstairs also gave him time to think about his answer, to carefully choose his words because he was a second year now and he had to take care of his dumb kouhai.
When he sat down, he got to the main point immediately. Something he was painfully aware of ever since seeing Sakura fighting. He had no regard to his surroundings at first, until he realized his classmates were being pushed around by KEEL. He then tried, how unsurprising, to find a solution to deal with KEEL, all on his own. Kaji clicked his tongue when he watched Sakura turning his head around, with his widened eyes reflecting fear in them, when he heard Kaji bluntly speaking.
It made him wonder if he looked like that too. If that was what Hiragi saw when he took him to talk. What a pitiful sight, he huffed through his nose as he tried to get his point across.
But just like him, Sakura was stubborn and unrelenting. He had this dumb notion that relying on people made him weaker, a belief that must've been drilled into him over years, because he refused to let go of it no matter how Kaji tried to explain to him he was wrong. Being bad with words in the first place meant Kaji wasn't well equipped to help him, so he went for a different approach. He snatched the bottle he gave Sakura and stuck a piece of paper to it.
“Green tea?” Sakura was confused at the new label.
“Yes, but it's coffee inside, right?” He felt so smug inside at coming up with such a nice idea, yet he couldn't break into a smile. This wasn't the right time, not with the way Sakura's face twisted into a pained expression. Being told that he was scared of being rejected made him step backwards and the tears in the corners of his eyes glistened as they started to roll down.
“I don't know what you think about how the others around you judge you.” Kaji took a lollipop out of his pocket and took off the wrapping. “But the fact that you're scared out of your wits has been blatantly obvious to everyone.”
A rude wake up call, but at least it stopped Sakura from crying. Instead, he was shocked to find out he was like an open book, showing his feelings while lashing out at people. When Sakura refused to believe – so, so stubborn, augh – Kaji tried to use another example, and his mouth was running dry of talking so much. He thought that subtly hinting would do it, but Sakura is just as dumb as him, and he was tired of going around in circles, so he just said it.
“Not a single one of them chose to reject you.” He clicked his tongue as he continued. Becoming too heated over the subject and starting to mutter all kinds of stupid shit that he shouldn't be saying, this was unlike him.
Sakura…didn't believe him. Of course he wouldn't, that wasn't the sort of thing you can just believe. Sakura, like him, was a strong headed person who needed more proof to be certain, perhaps even a worse case because Kaji had someone he was willing to rely on. He almost pitied him at that moment, but fortunately, before he could do something he'd regret later, Umemiya and Hiragi had to ruin the atmosphere.
He fucking hated that they'd been listening to his patethic attempt of consoling his dumb Kouhai, so he punched Umemiya, out of self defense of course! Of his lost pride, that is!
Later, Hiragi would ruffle his hair and smile proudly. “That was good.”
“I was just spoon feeding him everything, that wasn't good.” Kaji ran over this conversation multiple times in his head since then, and every word made him cringe and groan.
“Nah, some people need to be treated like this sometimes, can't be help. I'm so proud of you for not givin’ up.”
Kaji covered his red ears and rubbed them quickly. He still didn't think he did anything particularly good, but if Hiragi said so…sure. He could take his word for it.
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Sakura was on a road to self destruction with the way he was pushing himself to his limits. Kaji wished he could take off some of his burden, but the other boy was too prickly to agree for anything like that. Besides, Kaji had his own problems, unfortunately.
Some things are better learned from first hand experience, he sighed. Sakura was sparring with Hiragi for the fifth time this day and his movements were becoming slower. It was clear he was exhausted from the non-stop workout, but he refused to stop.
Kaji oversaw the first years training, and he was currently sparring against Suou. Intriguing at first to see how fluid his body movement was despite the eyepatch, but at some point it simply ticked Kaji off. He was slippery and tried to use Kaji's movements against him. Dodging his punch and trying to grab his wrist in a way that would make it impossible to shake it off once it was caught, but Kaji wasn't dumb. Well, not that dumb, anyway. He saw this from miles away and moved his hand away before Suou could grab it.
“Wow, you're so strong, haha.” If he thought that Suou's moves were annoying, he soon found out that his grins were worse. The smugness in the corners of his mouth was making Kaji see red, with the only reason for him being relatively calm was the noise of his shoes against the gym's floor. It reminded him where he was and who he was fighting.
There was no point to train with this dodgy motherfucker, because surely Kaji would lose his mind and punch him way too hard, so he told him he can have a break for now. Suou seemed happy at this, scurrying away to help some of his classmates, how touching, and Kaji could fully turn his full attention to Hiragi and Sakura.
The way Sakura moved was pathetic. Any punch screamed of desperation, and Kaji could tell. Hiragi was only humoring him at this point, but he soon retreated and told Sakura to take a break.
“I can still fight!” Sakura yelled. He refused to back down, continuing the rest of the conversation in the same high tone. Hiragi, obviously, tried to explain to him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, but Sakura wouldn't listen.
Kaji was curious – was his meeting with this Endo dude so bad that he got fixated on beating him up? Something about it made his eye twitch in anger, but he ignored it because he was a senpai first. And as a senpai, he reckoned Sakura needed a punch or two to knock some sense into his small brain, but he stopped in place as Sakura began to passionately talk.
“This has nothing to do with him.” Sakura clenched his fist and Kaji felt a sigh of relief escaping his chest. What the fuck, he chastised himself, but couldn't waste any time on it since Sakura was still talking. “It doesn't matter who I fight, I've already decided that I ain't letting any of my guys get beat up.”
Ah, so this was the source of his desperation?
“I'm not dumb. I don't believe that I alone can save everyone. But…If I can get even a little stronger…then I can save just a few more guys.”
Fool, Kaji grimaced at the words coming out of Sakura’s mouth, a kind fool, and the worst type of fool. This boy pretended he didn't need anyone not too long ago, but that was a lie – these are his true colors. This fragile kindness that should've been whittled away after what he's gone through, yet was still buried inside him, a flame that refused to be put away.
“I dunno when he'll come, or even if he's gonna do it.” He looked determined more than ever, the fire of his kindness extending all the way to his eyes. “But that’s why I wanna prevent any regrets when it happens. This isn't the time to stand still.”
And that fire lit up Kaji's heart as well. He was already on his way to Sakura and Hiragi, but now he hastened his steps and told Sakura he would train with him. With a half-hearted sigh, Hiragi stepped back and allowed them to fight.
This is for a good reason, Kaji thought as he took his stance, but a good reason doesn't mean it won't be self destructive. That thought bothered him, but this was the only way he could help Sakura. If there was any other way, surely by now Hiragi would've made use of it. But he didn't. And while his method wasn't the best solution, it was probably the only solution he could offer.
Both of them stared at the other before they nodded. Sakura immediately closed the distance between them and raised his leg. Kaji dodged to the left when he tried to kick his midsection, but dodging wasn't necessary, as Sakura's aim was completely off the mark.
“Focus!” He barked at Sakura and showed him how it’s done, with a low kick that hit Sakura's thigh from below. That made Sakura wince back with a groan, but he managed to return to his fighting stance quickly. “Try again!” And Sakura nodded, moving in one more time, going with what seemed like a punch to Kaji's shoulder, but turned out to be a kick to his arm. It landed, albeit weakly, but Kaji couldn't expect him to be in full strength after fighting against Hiragi for so long.
Why am I so bent on helping him? A voice of doubt surfaced inside his head. He let Sakura take control of the fight, just to show him how each of his punches and kicks can be dodged, so it didn't require too much effort from him.
Because Hiragi-san asked me to take care of him.
That answer was obvious, just like Sakura's next punch – to his face. But unlike the punch, he couldn't dodge the thoughts inside his head. Even if he did so because Hiragi told him, even if he saw this as some sort of mission he was given as a second year, this…definitely wasn't in the scope of the mission, right? He was…taking a detour…
He was, also, punching Sakura back, without keeping his strength in check, oops.
“Ouch.” Sakura rubbed his chin. “That hurt!”
“Ah, no shit. We're sparring.” Kaji dismissed it, but his heart sank down when he saw Sakura's chin becoming reddened.
“Hnn…” Sakura let out this weird, adorable noise, then he lunged at Kaji. He was surprisingly fast for someone who was sparring for the past two hours, getting his fist next to Kaji’s chest before punching lightly. Then he delivered another punch, which turned out to be the second half of his one-two combo, but there wasn't enough strength behind it. Still, Kaji had to command him for keeping his wits during a fight and being creative with his hits. Kaji would just tank the hits until he saw an opening…
“Enough! Stop…STOP!” Hiragi hurried to stop them. He smacked their heads before one of them managed to put the other out of commission. “You two…! I never told you to go all out, you idiots!”
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“You look like shit.” Kaji was never bothered by how blunt he was, until today. He wished he could’ve been nicer.
“Really? Jeez, I couldn't tell.” Sakura shot him a dirty look and his voice reeked of sarcasm.
“I dunno, your head is pretty thick, you might've not felt that.” He lightly hit Sakura's back. He felt relief when his hand hit something substantial, signaling him that Sakura wasn't just a figment of his imagination. And to make sure he wasn't wrong, his fingertips lingered on the curve of Sakura's back.
“Fuck off.” Sakura replied oh-so eloquently. He grabbed Kaji's hand to shove it away from him, putting an end to Kaji's worries in the process, because that grip was too strong to be mistaken for a delusion. “I don't feel like listening to you right now, everything hurts so much.”
“Well, did you expect anything else? I thought you were ready to go down with Endo if needed.” Kaji already knew how Sakura would react to that, so as a countermeasure, he pulled out a lollipop, but instead of bringing it to his own mouth he waited to see Sakura opening his mouth to retaliate. Once he saw an opening, he shoved the lollipop into Sakura's mouth.
“You suck.” Sakura mumbled, but didn't say anything else. He chewed on the lollipop, eww.
Kaji had a tingling need to answer, but it wouldn't do them any good. Sakura was such a smartass who loved having the last word, it was impossible to talk with him sometimes. All they achieved was going in circles and as the senpai, he had to be the one giving in. Naturally, that was the role of a senpai, he liked to tell himself, but he didn't feel like Sakura's senpai. There was definitely some favoritism when it came to Sakura and Kaji could no longer claim he was set on fulfilling the task he’d received from Hiragi.
“He definitely got some nice hits on you.” He moved closer to Sakura, closer than Sakura would consider comfortable – right in his face in fact, and stared at the bump on his forehead.
“He – he didn't! He didn't hit me there!” Sakura didn't seem to notice the short distance between them, he was too busy pointing at his forehead and proudly telling Kaji that it was his strong headbutt that got him the bump.
“Oh, I see. Makes sense.” Kaji smiled widely, knowing he was in risk of being the next target of said headbutt as he joked at Sakura's expense. “Your punches are weak as fuck, so of course it has to be your thick head doing the heavy lifting.”
“Hnn…” Sakura was starting to fume, his face turning red. “You…” Kaji waited for it, staring at Sakura's mismatched eyes as they glared back at him. “Suck big time, you really do.” He finished lamely, turning his head to the side.
They still stood in the same place and Kaji couldn't resist it anymore. He poked Sakura's epic bump.
“Ouch! Don’t touch it!” Sakura whined.
“Sorry, sorry.” Kaji pulled away his hand on his own this time. His own actions made him confused, but he knew he shouldn't try to understand them right at that moment. They were low on sleeping hours and they wanted to go home more than anything. Kaji would be sneaking into his room because he'd rather not have his parents see him in this state. Not tomorrow, either, because the swelling always looked worse the day afterwards.
“I heard your fight sucked too.” Sakura said.
“And who the fuck told you that?” He wasn't exactly ashamed, but he wished he could take that motherfucker on his own and not have to rely on Hiragi.
“Does it matter?” Sakura shrugged. “I guess I just…realized how awesome our senpai are…”
“Damn right they are.” Kaji huffed. It was really a wonder that Sakura went against Hiragi multiple times and still didn't realize that. “You're really lucky to have great senpai, like Hiragi-san.”
“You too…one of them…” Sakura mumbled shyly before turning his back and running away.
“Huh?” Kaji said, but there was nowhere there to answer. A feeling bubbled inside his body, repeating the words inside his head. By the time it sank in and he processed that short sentence, he was already pulled away by his classmates.
“It's all over.” Enomoto told him. “Let's go home, okay?”
Kaji's vision was stuck on the spot where Sakura stood earlier. That was unfair, he couldn't just say whatever he wanted to and – and not let Kaji reply!
“Kaji…?” Enomoto shook his shoulder, paying extra attention not to grab him strongly.
“Fuck…that idiot!” Kaji eventually spat out.
“You don't need to worry, Hiragi took care of that asshole.”
Kaji whipped his head to look at Enomoto. “Huh?”
“That Banjo guy? You don't have to be so bothered by it.”
“Ah, sure, whatever.” Kaji shouldn't correct his mistakes. It wouldn't do good for his reputation. “Fuck him too.” He quickly continued so that Enomoto wouldn't question his phrasing. “Let's go home already, I wanna take a shower.”
In his head, when he replayed the conversation he had with Hiragi before the year began, he thought about how naive he was. His past self would've never guessed how this year would turn, but then again – his past self didn't meet Sakura Haruka. Sakura, who headed head first into trouble and was as stubborn as a bull. Sakura, who had the nastiest attitude and enough insults in his vocabulary to piss off Buddha. And Sakura Haruka, who also had the sweetest smile he’d ever saw.