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”Hey Moony?” Peter has been looking at the other boy thoughtfully as he reads.
Remus is objectively handsome, Peter thinks. It’s not exactly conventional beauty, but he’s funny, and sharp as a whip. Those are attractive qualities. He admires his friend, and feels that they share the unique experience of being the outliers of the twosome that was James and Sirius.
Maybe he could like Remus like that, if he tried.
Remus doesn’t look up from his book, the swot, answering with a noncommittal hum.
”How did you know you liked boys?”
Remus blinks, eyes stilling on the page. Peter watches the tips of his ears turn red, and Remus looks up slowly as he bookmarks his book and sets it aside.
“How—“ do you even know that— was left unsaid, but Peter fills in the blank.
He shrugs. “I pay attention.”
He’d seen the brush of fingers as Remus and Benjy passed one another in the hall, the looks that they shared when they thought no one was looking.
”Right…” Remus says slowly, frowning.
”So how did you know?” Peter pressed.
“I’m not gay,” Remus mumbled, his eyes were on the floor now, on his shoes; Peter found as he followed his gaze- but his body was turned towards Peter nonetheless. Open.
Peter waited for an elaboration.
”I’m bi.” Remus says hesitantly, glancing up for just a moment.
Peter frowned.
“Bi?”
Remus huffed, smiling ruefully. “It means I like both. Boys and girls.”
”Oh…” Peter didn’t realise that was possible, his brows furrowing. Remus shifts on the end of his bed, glancing up again but unable to hold eye contact. He clears his throat.
“And to answer your question, I honestly didn’t really think about it. I just. I mean, I did think about it, but not until after a boy started flirting with me and realising that I wanted to flirt back, and maybe kiss him a bit.” Remus shrugs, a small smile tugging at his lips. “It’s easy to have that experience with the opposite sex, so I never questioned my sexuality before him.”
Peter considered for a moment with a frown, that he couldn’t think of having experienced that moment.
”Maybe people aren’t interested in me like that,” he considered out loud.
Remus snorted. “Well that’s not true. In first year Mary had a huge crush on you, it was super obvious. And in third year Emmeline asked you to ‘study’ at least twice before you felt bad enough to cash in the ‘raincheck’ for a study date. When nothing came of it, she barely spoke two words to you again.”
Peter feels his face morph into an expression of confusion as he looks back at the other boy for an elaboration.
”Peter, she thought it was a date date.”
”We were studying charms.” Peter says, his confusion only building.
He might be clueless, but even he knew that there was nothing romantic about doing homework together.
Remus smirks. “See I heard that she asked you to conjure her the best flower you knew how, and you got her her a puffapod— I’m assuming because we had been studying them in herbology and it was the first one that came to mind— and she obviously hadn’t been paying attention in class because when she held it up to her nose to smell it, it made her so dizzy that she had to go to the hospital wing. You didn’t even go with her.”
”She said she was feeling ill,” Peter tried to defend, “And she looked pretty pale, I didn’t want to catch anything.”
Remus snorted.
“Back to the point, Pete, people have shown interest in you, you just haven’t noticed.”
Peter just looks back at his friend with obvious confusion. Perhaps a little denial.
“Do you think,” Remus continues, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment as he contemplates his next words. “Do you think maybe you just aren’t interested in all that?”
“All what?”
Remus shrugs. “Y’no. Going on dates. Flirting. Hooking up. All the things that then leads to—” he waves his hand as if Peter should just know what he means by that.
Oh.
oh.
He means relationships. Love.
Well fuck. He’s broken, or something.
Being in a relationship was all anyone around him ever really talked about these days. He had come to the conclusion; sure he had to be gay, because he didn’t get what the boys were talking about when they spoke about girls. But now he thought about it, really considered it, liking boys didn’t make sense either.
“It happens, sometimes, you know.” Remus continues gently as Peter has his little crisis. “Sometimes people just aren’t interested in dating. And that’s okay, too, you know.”
Peter meets the other boys eyes and searches them, looking for anything to indicate that what he’s saying isn’t true. But he seems sure.
“How do you know?”
Remus shrugs. “I just know. I don’t think people like to talk about it, but people don’t like to talk about a lot of stuff. No one wants to be different, right?”
Peter shrugs, noncommittal.
“Everyone just wants to fit in.” Remus sighs. “So do I, which is why I haven’t yno. Said anything about being bi.” He looks up at Peter with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Peter shakes his head. “I won’t, but you have to promise not to tell anyone I don’t like people at all.” He winces. “I don’t know if that’s yno, actually the case. It sounds right, but I just…”
”I get it.” Remus reassures.
Peter slumps a little, offering a thankful smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Remus smiles back. “You’re welcome.” He pauses a moment, and Peter can practically feel it when the mood in the room shifts to devious, glancing up to see a smug smirk on Remus’ face.
“Did you think you were gay, wormtail?”
Peter scowls. “Maybe,” He grumbles.
Remus jumps up, and instantly Peter gets the feeling he should move, unsure what the other Gryffindor is planning, but knowing it’s nothing good.
”Well you know there’s really only one way to know for sure,” He says, barely holding it together when his face turns serious.
Peter doesn’t have the chance to respond before Remus reaches out and starts after him, shouting, “With a big gay kiss!”
Peter quickly dives out of the way, Remus crashing into spot he was sitting in and chasing him around the dorm making kissing noises as Peter squeals and squeaks like his animagus, darting away from the lanky but limber werewolf.
He eventually tackles Peter to the ground but doesn’t kiss him, only ruffles his hair, both of them laughing in a tangled heap on the rug.