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It was time to go back to school, Seonghwa wanted to go back but also didn’t want to… During the winter break his walls of numbness had been reconstructed, stronger than ever. His parents started suspecting things seeing how many pictures of him wearing hongjoong’s clothes existed on the internet, it was their second year in school and Hwa started becoming Joong’s model. So his parents kept reminding him how much of a disappointment he would be if he turned out gay. As well as the usual comments that always went straight into Seonghwa’s heart.
He hadn't talked or replied to Hongjoong in a few days because he was terrified of his parents finding out. He was praying that Joong understood and didn’t think bad of him… He kind of didn’t want to see him again because he knew Hongjoong was going to see right through his act… But he also needed to see his boyfriend, his mental well being depended on it… and his physical well being was also in the balance today.
As he arrived at the doors of school he had to pause, not sure if he would be able to go inside. He became really really anxious, everything distorting around him, sounds muffling when someone touched his shoulder.
“Are you alright Seonghwa-oppa?” He was hoping for Hongjoong but it was Narea, the prom queen girl. She had been a little less annoying, well, she completely stopped being annoying but just seeing her face made Seonghwa uncomfortable. Her voice somehow seemed genuinely concerned.
“Uh yeah, yeah, just… happy to come back I guess.” He smiled politely as he always does.
“Are-Are you sure? I saw Hongjoong-oppa earlier. I can go get him if you need…” She said a bit embarrassed. Seonghwa was completely baffled by the kindness she was showing… Did Hongjoong traumatise her that much when he yelled at her during prom?
“No no, I’ll be alright, I have to go to the dorms, I need to put my luggage there.” He politely said, but with a lot less acting this time as she appeared to have changed a lot.
“Ok, ok… I’m sorry for being a pain… Thank Hongjoong-oppa for me!” And she ran away. What a weird interaction that was, he didn’t know what she meant but he would relay her words, just to see the very confused look on his boyfriend's face… Now he actually needed to go to the dorms, or he would be late. Thankfully this interaction made his anxiety level go down a lot. After putting his stuff in the dorm he couldn’t bring himself out the door. He was standing there looking at it and not being able to reach for the handle, his ears ringing and his breath heavy. Well, he wasn’t going to be on time today… But he had to, he didn’t want a call from his mother this early in the morning, thinking he skipped again. He was now getting mad at himself, which didn’t help at all.
“MOVE YOU STUPID FUCKING BODY” He screamed punching the wall to his right with all the anger built up in him. That wasn’t a bright idea. Not only did he hurt himself quite a lot, but he also could have broken the wall, and asking for more money from his parents always came with the question “Why” and telling them he punched the wall was going to get him scolded again. But thank goodness he didn’t punch a hole through it. But his fist was bright red and was hurting a whole bunch, it had Seonghwa questioning whether it was broken or not. He sat on the floor, his back rested on the door. He couldn’t go to class like this could he? He fell asleep trying to hold himself together.
He woke up to loud banging on his door. He looked at his watch realising he fell asleep, 10:30, oh no.
He heard his phone buzzing on the other side of his dorm and didn’t know whether he should open the door first or answer the phone. It made him panic even more. His body didn’t want to move again while his brain told him to go pick up the phone as the banging on the door was getting louder. The phone stopped making noise, giving a little space for Seonghwa’s thoughts to calm down slightly. He managed to stumble and get on his feet, his head spinning a bit. He opened the door, trying to look as composed as he could. Hongjoong was there, absolutely terrified, his phone in hand, 911 dialled but the call button had not been pressed yet.
“Oh my fucking god!” Hongjoong jumped into the older’s arms. “Thank god you are alive!” He pushed Seonghwa into his living room, closing the door behind him. “Are you alright?” He looked straight into his boyfriend’s eyes, they were empty and foggy. Hwa could only look back, his words not coming out, not a noise, nothing, he isn’t even sure he tried to say something, his mouth never opened. “Hwa please say anything, are you with me? Can you hear me?” He wanted to answer but his whole body wasn’t listening to him, everything he was commanding his limbs to do was shut down. He didn’t even know if he was breathing or not.
All he managed to do was fall a bit forward and rest his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder. The younger took him in a tight embrace, completely panicked. The smaller man led him to the couch and he followed.
“Whatever your brain is doing is okay, you are not alone anymore, focus on me.” Hongjoong cupped Hwa’s cheeks with his hands, smiling fondly. “When you are ready tell me what’s bothering you or if you need anything alright? I’ll stay right here in the meantime.”
“C-Class” Was all he could get out.
“Don’t worry, I told the teachers not to put you absent and they all agreed, they gave both of us the day off, and your head teacher said that if you needed more you could rest longer. They won’t inform your parents, they agreed no questions asked.” Seonghwa relaxed at those words, he had the day with Hongjoong that he hadn’t seen for way too long.
“Hug, p-please” he breathed out. His lover tightly embracing him, setting himself so that Hwa could lean completely on him. Even sitting down and held he was dizzy and the world was spinning around him making him feel a little nauseous.
After a while his anxiety calmed down, he could breathe a little better and think better again. The dizziness was still there but he felt like his body was his again. He weakly lifted his arms to hug Hongjoong back as well as he could. He had the urge to squeeze his tiny boyfriend as much as he could and so he did, almost crushing him in the process. He hated hurting Hongjoong and he hoped he would understand, he needed it a lot right now. Hongjoong tightened his hug too, it made Seonghwa feel instantly better. He was now gasping big amounts of air as he realised how bad he was failing at breathing earlier.
“Hey hey, don’t breathe too much at once, you’ll pass out. Slow in and out. Innn…. Out…. In…. Out…” under Joong’s guidance his breath steadied and his strength came back. His mind quieting was one of the best feelings in the world, along with realising completely that he was back with Hongjoong and not stuck home.
“Hi-i.”
“Hello there Seonghwa. Feeling better?” Replied the tinier man.
“Yeah, a lot better.”
“Could you… Hug me a little less tight please” Oh gosh he didn’t realise just how much strength he was putting into that hug until he let go of his lover. “Now we can both breathe!” He said jokingly.
“ ‘m sorry” he pouted, suddenly a sharp pain reminded him about that punch earlier. “Ow” he said, he tried to hide it from Joong but failed miserably.
“Where are you hurt?! Are you alright?”
“Yes, it’s… just my hand, it’ll be fine.” Oh gosh the pain kept getting worse. He looked at it, it was slightly purple… That was not good at all. His knuckles were slightly bleeding too. How hard did he punch that wall?!
“Oh fuck, let me get stuff.” Said Hongjoong looking at the hand. He went to grab ice and bandages to cover all that up. “If it still hurts tomorrow evening you are going to the hospital to check that out alright?”
“Yes, yes, promise.”
“What happened to your hand? Did you punch someone?”
“Yep, and that someone was a wall… Bad news, it was stronger than me.” He joked, happy that his brain stopped bothering him. Once his hand was wrapped up nicely and the ice put on it for a while he could feel it get better. “I need to use the bathroom I'll be rig-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as he tried to get up but his dizziness didn’t let him, he felt like he was about to pass out and sat back down, Joong rushing to help him. “Or not.” Joong went to the kitchen.
“Feels weird to ask, but when did you last eat Hwa? Or drank anything?”
“Uhh… Good question, give me a minute, my head is spinning.” He breathed for a minute before Hongjoong came back with a sugary drink, probably cola. “N-No thanks…”
“Drink. You’ll feel better.” He couldn't counter that argument that he told Joong so many times after he starved himself to his limit and called Hwa for help. So he took the glass and drank it all up in one go, in just a few minutes he was feeling better. “So? When did you last eat?”
“Hey, that’s my job! I ask the questions.”
“Seonghwa.” He was getting serious.
“I ate yesterday morning I think… I have to say that the last two or three days are a complete blur…”
They ordered some food as lunch was approaching fast anyways and spent the day basically cuddling on the couch until they both fell asleep on each other. Hwa got woken up by a bad nightmare.
“Hey, I’m here.” Joong said after watching the older man look around trying to find him in the dark. The younger one grabbing the other’s arm. He was shaking slightly. “Nightmare?” He looked at the smaller man with those eyes, the ones Hongjoong hated and loved, the ‘I’m about to break’ eyes. He hated seeing his lover like that, but he also knew that it meant a huge weight was about to get lifted off of the taller man’s shoulders.
Seonghwa bursted into tears, launching himself at Joong. Hugging him tightly. They spent about two hours trying to get Hwa to calm down, and somehow the only thing that worked was when they were kissing. He could forget about everything when both their lips were together, the world didn’t matter anymore. The more they kissed, the more passion was put into it.
Their tongues were entering each other’s mouth, exploring like they had never been there before. The heavy atmosphere switched to a different one as the tension grew stronger, both their bodies starting to heat up as Seonghwa started towering over Hongjoong who was melting into the couch under his lover’s kisses as they got deeper and deeper. Seonghwa’s mouth eventually slipped and escaped, trailing down Joong’s cheeks then neck, biting slightly before soothing with his tongue. Seonghwa was now sitting on top of Hongjoong’s stomach, the younger one laying down on the couch, his head on the arm of the couch.
“Hwa~” Hongjoong said. “W-what are you~” he suppressed a moan as Seonghwa teased his nipple under his shirt. “What are you doing?” he finished slightly out of breath.
“I’m trying to get relaxed, and you are helping” he said, lust transpiring in his low voice, the one he only used when teasing Hongjoong or when he became that lust demon in bed. Hongjoong felt his entire body heat up as the older backed up a little of where he was sitting, feeling his lover’s ass getting closer to his dick. “Do you want it to happen?” The older one said, leaning closer, almost lying fully on his partner.
Oh yes, yes he wanted Seonghwa. That wasn’t even a question, he had been deprived from his love’s touch and face for too long, he needed to feel him in any way possible.
“Do what you want to me, ask me whatever you want, I’ll oblige.” Seonghwa smiled widely, but the kind of smile that makes you regret what you said as you didn’t know the extent to ‘whatever you want’. Hongjoong second guessed himself as he heard a low giggle coming from the man currently on top of him, with full control over his tiny body… Giggle that also shot a spark through his spine as it was low and mischievous… And Hongjoong was getting really horny.
Seonghwa was completely lost to his lust, but he didn’t care, he only cared about making Hongjoong and himself feel as good as he could. He went back into his partner’s mouth, showing his domination as that only was feeling so good to Hongjoong that he was already making those sweet pleasure noises Hwa was looking for. Then he started lowering his lips, cheeks red and hot, then lower again, his beautiful neck, already bitten but that didn’t stop the taller man from biting again, harder this time basically sucking on the other’s skin. This was definitely going to leave a mark but none of them cared right now. Then he got lower again, moving Hongjoong’s shirt to reveal his collarbone, gently kissing it before getting annoyed at the shirt so he sat back up lifting himself on his knees to grab Hongjoong underneath his shirt, feeling the younger one’s body from hips to tits, the shirt going up with the skillful hands of the taller man. Everytime Hwa was teasing the other’s nipples he would shudder and try to muffle a moan desperately trying to escape his mouth. He didn’t want his lover to be satisfied just yet, so he would hold those noises in as long as he could.
“Let those out… I want to hear your voice Joongie." Again, the low lusty voice was used by the older who leaned all the way to his lover’s ears to say that sentence, sending shivers straight to Hongjoong’s length… He was probably not going to be able to hold his moans for much longer, he was already completely stunned by how Seonghwa basically did nothing and yet the younger one was completely out of his mind… He never asked, but it was kind of obvious he wasn’t his first sex partner, it was apparent already but tonight especially.
Hongjoong couldn’t answer that, he just gulped loudly watching his boyfriend’s face full of want, making his smile widen in satisfaction. The older started tugging at his shirt, he wanted it off, and now, so the smaller male complied, slightly lifting his body for the other one to get rid of the annoying piece of fabric. Satisfied the taller man went back to his kissing spree, he was determined to taste every single bit of his boyfriend. Insisting particularly hard on the nipples as he was trying to get one of Joong’s loud moans he loved so much, getting amused by the other one’s playfulness.
“You little devil… Let me hear them.. Or else.” He stopped there.
“Or else what? What could you possibly do to me, Mister Horny?” He raised an eyebrow while pressing his tongue on his cheek, challenging the older male… He shouldn’t have.
Oh? So he wanted to play like that? Good for Seonghwa. He backed up even more, brushing over Hongjoong’s dick, already very hard, even through his pants, feeling the other twitch under him, suppressing his reflex to throw his head back in pleasure. He was stronger than the taller male thought. He was now on the other side of the couch, behind Hongjoong’s folded legs to leave some space for the older. Seonghwa grabbed the other’s knees, pulling them apart enough for his hands to start roaming on his hips, then getting more inside the legs, tickling slightly close to his length. The younger one had brought up his hand over his mouth, his palm towards Hwa.
The older started unbuckling his belt, which didn’t seem hard for him at all… compared to the first time, even though Hongjoong didn’t know whether Hwa remembered that night or not. The older one was very drunk and they never spoke about it. The belt undone and thrown away to a far corner and Seonghwa was already taking care of Hongjoong’s pants, his arousal getting more and more visible as Hwa kept on swiftly teasing his dick.The pants came off as well as the boxers, all in one go. Leaving Hongjoong’s length very visible. Hwa however didn’t do anything with the bare cock in front of his eyes, even if he really wanted it, he was going to play with Hongjoong first. He started massaging the inner thigh, grazing past the hardened length exposed right next to those strong thighs.
“S-Stop teas~iing Hwa!” A not so suppressed moan in the middle of the sentence made Seonghwa raise an eyebrow, he was getting close to be able to hear those soft moans out loud.
“Oh?~ Someone is getting worked up over there…” He grabbed Joong’s dick. Not doing anything more. “If you want to command me, do it right.” Seonghwa said, inviting the younger one to take control if he really wanted it. “Or you can just stop playing games and let out those loud moans of yours baby.” That lustful voice was still here and oh god did it keep turning Joong on.
But Hongjoong wasn't about to give up just yet, so he was indeed going to take on Hwa’s proposition. Suddenly his face changed completely from shy, pleasure-hungry to lustful demon. He sat up reaching for the other’s shoulder and pushing him strongly for him to lay on his back, head on the armrest. The older man had a satisfied face. Gosh that face was sexy, how could this pretty and polite man turn into this kind of demon?
As the younger was unbuttoning his shirt the other one was shivering in anticipation, he didn’t care about what was happening as long as it happened, whether he had control or not. Now it was his turn to feel the other kissing his skin. Hongjoong was biting and sucking every inch, leaving the older one to silently moan with his eyes rolling to the back of his head. He missed Hongjoong and his touch, he missed the pleasure, he missed everything. Joong went back to the older’s lips and fought for dominance with their tongues, the smaller man somehow winning. The kiss was rough and passionate, leaving both of them panting and excited for what was to come…
“How do you want it tonight, love?” Asked Hongjoong, teasing Seonghwa’s nipples. A tiny moan escaping the older’s mouth as he tried to answer.
“Are you up for kinda rough?” He replied, the demon smirk on his lips.
“Hmmm~ Naughty, are we baby?” He twisted Seonghwa’s erected nipple making him loudly moan in pleasure mixed with pain. His cock violently twitching in his pants, asking for friction or any kind of touch. He started rubbing his clothed length on Joong’s leg. Hongjoong saw that and grabbed Hwa’s crotch, earning a suppressed moan from the older.
“Someone is impatient” The taller man was going crazy from the anticipation, pushing himself more into the other’s palm. “I’ll make you beg for it” The older looked back at the younger, a playful sparkle in his lustful eyes.
“Game on Joong-ha~” He replied, taking the younger’s chin in his hand and pulling him closer to his face, Hongjoong gulping hard but returning the demon face before kissing again then going straight to the other’s nipples, sucking and biting. Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s neck lightly pushing on the younger’s chest, forcing him back so he could sit.
“If you aren’t going to take my pants off, I’ll do it myself” Hwa said, pushing Joong’s chin to push his head back, earning a smirk. The taller man never broke eye contact while unbuttoning his pants, and taking them off along with the rest, now both of them were butt naked and fucking horny. The younger’s eyes got caught on the other’s cock when suddenly he felt the other’s hand grabbing his length, pleasure shooting through his spine. He bit his lower lip, catching a huge moan before it escaped. “Are you sure you don’t want to give that to me?” He said, stroking up and down the younger’s dick once, only once, just for teasing.
Another suppressed moan. “I-I’ll make you beg I said.” He replied firmly, grabbing the other’s nape and lodging his lips on his neck sucking hard before going back down to the collarbone, biting hard. Seonghwa moaned before pushing the other violently, straight back to the position they started all of this in. Without a warning he took Hongjoong’s length all the way in his mouth, not caring about preparations. The other man bit the top of his hand trying incredibly hard not to scream in pleasure at the sudden warmth and wetness around his dick. He slowly bobbed his head two or three times, watching the younger arch his back and clench his fist on the couch’s armrest behind his head. The older came off, leaving the other deprived for warmth and touch.
Seonghwa took Hongjoong’s wrist and yanked him off of the couch, kissing him passionately, mouths moving in sync as the older pushed the younger to the bedroom, hungry for more. But before Hwa could push the other one on the bed, Hongjoong spun them around, throwing his partner on the bed with strength, Hwa’s breath taken away by the quite rough impact. He smirked widely, signalling he liked that to the other.
“How violent?” The younger asked, already heading to the nightstand to grab some lube, he looked at the condom for a second.
“I want to feel nothing but pain tomorrow. No need for that.” He said replying to the question and telling the other to put back the condom. His tone was commanding and completely lustful. Hongjoong looked at him with a slight hint of concern while putting the rubber back in the drawer before closing it. “Strangle me, slap me, fuck me as hard as you can, I don’t care, but do it good.” He insisted, nothing in his voice hinted begging, it was nothing but an order.
“You are going to hate yourself in the morning…”
“I will… That is if you are even capable of fucking me that good Joongie…” He challenged the younger who’s concerned look turned into a playful demonic face. Seonghwa knew exactly how to handle him and get what he wanted whenever he wanted it. And right now he wanted to feel anything, pain or pleasure, he didn’t care. But he wanted to remember that night…. And oh boy he would remember it for the rest of his life.
Hongjoong poured lube on his fingers before going over to Seonghwa and turning him around and pushing him further up in the bed so he could sit behind the older. With his other hand he pushed firmly his boyfriend’s head into the mattress, letting him only be able to breathe slightly but making sure not to tug at his hair as it always had been the only forbidden thing during sex along with worth-related insults.
Without warning he inserted two fingers into Seonghwa’s ass. The older one could only struggle to breath into the mattress as the pain hit him like a truck but he liked it. That was what he asked for. As the pain dimmed down he moved, looking for it again, also giving permission for Hongjoong to keep going, the younger curling his fingers trying to find that sweet spot. He laid forward, his fingers still inside, to bite on his partner’s shoulder as hard as his brain could tolerate as he still hated hurting his lover.
“YES, yes ngh~ yes” was all Hwa managed to say, his mind foggy from the limited amount of oxygen and the pure pain, mixed with pleasure he was granted. A third finger got added even though Hwa was not accustomed to two, vivifying his pain once again making him tear up and moan very loudly, his mouth staying agape. Hongjoong started biting the other’s sides, sucking from time to time, leaving marks. And there it was Seonghwa’s sweet spot, Hongjoong had found it, earning the dirtiest moan he ever heard from his boyfriend.
Hwa tried to grab his own cock to stroke it but Hongjoong stopped him, grabbing his wrist and locking it in place next to his head with the hand that was on the older’s head, releasing it and allowing Seonghwa to take a deep breath. The taller man kept on letting out satisfaction noises as he pushed himself further and further on Joong’s fingers.
The younger knew that if he wanted to win their little game, he had to make the other beg before actually starting to fuck him, knowing perfectly that he wouldn’t be able to hold his moans once his cock was in. Seonghwa needed something bigger than the other’s fingers inside of him, he needed to feel completely full, the fingers were already not enough, his mind was going crazy, he needed Hongjoong top to bottom inside of his back entrance. But he wasn't going to beg for it, he wasn’t about to lose the game, no matter how lost to his instinct he currently was.
“Fuck me before ngh~ I r-ride you until you pass out.” He directed, commanding his partner like a military officer.
Hongjoong got close to the other’s ear, “Beg for it.” he whispered.
Then suddenly his fingers were out of the other one and he was laying on his back, the older man on top of him. “I warned you.” He smirked devilishly. Seonghwa took his boyfriends cock into his hand and spreaded the precum all over it, it was going to be enough to serve as a lube as Seonghwa was too far gone to stop and reach for the actual lube. Hongjoong was done for the second Seonghwa sat on Joong’s lap, the younger’s dick going all the way inside, both of them moaning in harmony. The smaller man’s hands grabbed the sheets before going to the older’s hips, holding them so hard that they were already starting to bruise.
The older had his hands on Hongjoong’s pecs and was playing with his nipples as he violently moved his ass up and down the smaller’s cock. He was hitting his own prostate every single time, shooting pleasure in all of his body. The pain he was feeling only aroused him further, making him become a sweating and moaning mess, his brain going full autopilot, the rest of the world disappearing from his mind, it was just his pleasure and his boyfriend.
Hongjoong has lost their little game. His partner proving just how much power he held over the tiny man. If they wanted they could hurt the other in ways no one else could but there was an unspoken trust between them. But here he was, pleasing the love of his life by hurting him, a part of his brain hated that, the other part was lost to his boyfriend as soon as they started. Ultimately his internal battle ended as Seonghwa took in his dick especially hard, his lust winning the battle and commanding his body, he was going to fuck Hwa so hard that the other wouldn’t be able to walk for days, he asked for it after all.
Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa by his neck, barely letting him breath and yanking him straight on his back on the mattress, positioning himself so he could trust back and forth as hard as he physically could.
Hongjoong was holding his neck strongly and Hwa was liking it a little too much, arching his back from the pain and distress only. Both of them were getting closer and closer from their sweet release, losing their minds completely. Seonghwa was smiling, his mouth opened as the hand on his throat kept him from moaning, silent noises were the only thing escaping his mouth. Hongjoong started thrusting back and forth with a strength Seonghwa never suspected his boyfriend had, making the older see stars as pain and pleasure mixed in his body. Seonghwa grabbed the other’s hand, the one that was on his throat and held it tightly, pushing it even more towards his neck, indicating the other could hold even tighter. Joong’s nails were digging into the other’s hips until they bled.
Hongjoong’s movements became irregular as his high was nearing, seeing as Seonghwa was also quite close, he let go of the other’s reddened throat and grabbed his length instead, stroking it faster and faster, still thrusting violently. The older man was an absolute mess, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, pulling his own hair and moaning uncontrollably, mouth opened in a smile. He was hurting so bad yet not a hint of pain was visible on his face.
“Please PLEASE PLEASE keep going ngh~ Hongjoong I love you ahh~” He had reached his climax, releasing strings streams of cum in his boyfriend’s hand as well as his own abs.
Hongjoong let out an extremely loud moan followed by a grunt as he rode out his own high making sure he and Seonghwa would feel good until the last second.
Hwa was panting so hard that no air was getting inside his lungs, crazy giggles of bliss coming out of his throat. He was trembling in pleasure.
Hongjoong came back to his senses, all of his strength leaving him as he flopped onto the mattress next to the taller man. After a few seconds he realised the state his boyfriend was in.
“Seonghwa, Seonghwa please calm down.” He was starting to panic a little. He put his hand on Seonghwa’s chest, the other one on his cheek. “Hwa, Hwa please listen to me, you are going to pass out if you don’t”
Foggy eyes met Hongjoong’s, “f-F-Feel s-soo go ngh~good” he somehow managed to say, still completely trembling, he was indeed about to pass out. He could feel nothing else than intense pleasure and pain. Then as the pleasure dimmed down a little, he felt Hongjoong cupping his cheeks, saying things but Seonghwa’s senses were starting to shut down so he couldn’t hear properly, but he could see how panicked Hongjoong looked making him come back from that state of complete bliss. His smile dropped at the sight of what he wanted to be a pleased boyfriend but was a terrified one. All of his senses reactivated at once. Making him panic as he felt just how close he was to passing out, his breathing accelerating.
“Seonghwa, Seonghwa are you with me love?!”
He could only grab Hongjoong’s wrist to signify he was there.
“Breathe, breathe, In… and out… In and out…” he kept giving the rhythm for a while, making sure Seonghwa wouldn’t start hyperventilating again. Soon the older could breathe as normally as his body let him. His partner slowly caresses his chest.
“I-I am so sorry” He said, sincerity transpiring from his voice, hoarse from all the choking. “It just felt so good!” He started to tear up. “I di-didn’t mean to finish like this…” He looked away when suddenly his eyes widened, a thought crossing his mind. “Oh my god, did I hurt you?!” He sat up suddenly grabbing Hongjoong by the shoulders, his body reminding him just how rough the sex they just had was.
“No no! You didn’t, you didn’t, calm down.” Seonghwa was crying, looking straight into Hongoong’s eyes, trying to find any traces of lies, but he found nothing. Hwa grabbed his partner’s cheeks, resting his forehead on the other’s.
“Are… Are you alright Seonghwa?”
“I… I never felt so good in my life… And I had to ruin it for you… Did you even enjoy it a little bit?...” He may have had the best night of his life, if his boyfriend hated it he would hate himself for the rest of his life.
“Up until you almost passed out, yes. It was the best experience I’ve ever had… Are you sure you… you are alright?” He said, not detaching his forehead from Seonghwa’s.
“Physically? Absolutely not, but that was the plan, I’ll rest tomorrow. Mentally I’m doing so much better than before, I basically can only think about the insane amount of pleasure I just felt.” He paused, detaching himself from the other man, his caring gaze was back. “Are you really okay?” He asked, a hand skimming through Hongjoong’s hair.
“A little shaken by… that last part, but yeah, you didn’t even touch me most of the time, the worst thing I’m going to get is maybe some slight bruises on my wrist… and a few hickeys of course.” He smiled kindly, his eyes getting lidded as the rough sex they just had took everything he had in him. “I gotta admit, it felt incredible, I’m never forgetting it.” He finished, plopping onto his boyfriend’s shoulder, the other gladly accepting him, even locking him in place with a hug.
Seonghwa didn’t want to apologise again right now, but he would definitely do that tomorrow. “Alright then, time for bed, you have to get to class right?”
Hongjoong groaned, getting out of Seonghwa’s embrace and wobbling onto his feet. “Let’s go shower”
“Absolutely not.”
“You need to get cleaned up, it’s going to be a pain to get rid of in the morning, and you know that Hwa… You probably won’t even be able to move tomorrow.” Replied Hongjoong, obviously not wanting to go either.
“To be fair, I don’t even think I can get up… I have no idea how I managed to sit up like this, but the second I move I feel like my body will give up on me.” He held his arms out, doing the grabby hands, earning a chuckle from the younger. “Come here… sleepy” he pouted, talking like a kid.
“Alright, alright, let me clean you up and put clothes on you first.” Seonghwa groaned but agreed, letting himself plop back on the bed, his body reminding him just how much he was going to hate himself for asking Hongjoong to be this rough.
After a lot of cleanup and struggles to get both of them in pyjamas, they managed to go to bed. Hongjoong spooning Seonghwa as lightly as possible to avoid hurting him.
“I won” said Seonghwa.
“Oh shut up and sleep you sex demon.”
They both fell asleep pretty quickly as, well, both of them worked hard a few moments ago…
Seonghwa woke up alone in bed. He had a pretty bad headache.
‘I didn’t drink yesterday right?.... I can’t remember any-’ He got cut in his thoughts as he tried to move to get up. Well, now he remembered what happened… Pain shooting through his entire body. Not an inch of him wasn’t hurting. Thank god he had the day off. He managed to turn around on his back and stayed like this for a few minutes before being too bored to stay in bed. He was going to suffer but at least it won’t be boring. He stood up very painfully and waddled to the living room of his dorm… traces of yesterday’s interactions were evident, clothes were on the ground, the couch was a mess and Seonghwa didn’t like it. He liked his apartment clean. After taking pain killers he tried to clean as best as he could, but his hand was hurting a lot, the one he punched the wall with… He was seriously starting to think that he broke it. He folded the clothes they had randomly discarded in the room, put all the cushions of the couch back in place, and changed the sheets. There was blood on the sheets?! Who bled? Did he? He went to the bathroom to check how badly he got wrecked… His eyes widened just looking at his exposed neck.
“Oh shit!” It was purple and the marks resembled hands… some of those were definitely hickeys too. Even his voice sounded hoarse from the choking and probably the very loud noises and screams he made… He was scared to lift his shirt and inspect his torso now. As he did he just stood there, desperation hitting him. There were so many marks of teeth and heckeys… He was a model, so it was a problem, but at least he knew where the blood came from… Oh gosh, what had come through his mind yesterday night… Judging by the intense pain he didn’t have to check lower… he knew he had hand marks and nail marks on his hips and butt… He was calling in sick for the week. No one would see him like this, NO ONE, not even Joong. He could barely walk anyways…
It was 10am and he had about six more hours before Joong came back. Then he remembered his phone that he hadn’t looked at since he arrived yesterday morning. Oh no… He had so many missed calls and messages. 73 missed calls from Hongjoong, yesterday 10am and 35 messages on various messaging systems. Oh god he must have been scared to death, Seonghwa felt very guilty, remembering the face of the younger one when he managed to open the door.. Or right after the session last night… His heart accelerated slightly and his chest tightened. He also had one missed call from his mother and one single message from her.
‘Please tell your school to stop being useless and stop calling me unless they are sure you aren’t in class. Those idiots told me you weren’t in and then called me back to tell me you were.’
He needed to thank Hongjoong for that one, he would absolutely not have been able to answer his mother even today. Especially now that he realised he didn’t answer on purpose.
Now he was sitting on the couch, watching random dumb things on tv, but it didn’t manage to distract him for long, his thoughts catching back to his tired mind and painful body. The number of missed calls running circles in his mind, occasionally reminding him of the absolutely terrified face his boyfriend made as well as the 911 number dialled on Joong’s phone, Seonghwa’s anxiety was peeking again and he didn’t want to call Hongjoong, he didn’t answer to him yesterday so he had no right to call him now. He needed a way to shut his mind up, sleeping wasn’t an option, not only did he not think he was going to be able to fall asleep, but he also really didn’t want to risk having a nightmare while being alone and in pain. He had an idea that was much more sensible… drinking. Being drunk always managed to shut his mind down and find everything more entertaining, it would keep him occupied until Hongjoong came back, if he didn’t drink too much he would be almost sober by the time his lover finished his classes for the day.
And so he did. He drank way more than he told himself he would and was pretty close to being completely wasted. He didn’t do anything dumb, he was simply looking at the dumbest stuff on TV and giggling like a kid, he even turned on the kid’s shows at some point, enjoying looking at funny and lighthearted animated drawings. As Hongjoong told him multiple times, he just turned into the kid he never got to be when he was drunk. He was so… broken. He didn’t have any other words to describe it as he never went to a therapist to get diagnosed with anything, so broken was the best word. But right now he was enjoying his little cloud of silliness and drunkenness. What he didn’t expect was Joong coming home way earlier than he was supposed to.
Hongjoong was trying to be quiet in case Seonghwa was still asleep. But got greeted by a very loud big baby.
“JOONNNNGIEE!” Seonghwa launched himself at him, hugging him very tightly, even lifting him up a little before whining slightly.
“H-Hey?” It was not usual at all, the little giggles Hwa was letting out were even weirder. It was not hard at all for Joong to realise something was very wrong with his lover. “Are you alright Star?”
“Yee!” Oh gosh, he was drunk wasn’t he? But the older one was not one to drown his problems… why the heck was he drunk at twelve thirty?! His anxious mind was catching up to him, including himself in the possible cause for his partner’s actions. Did he regret yesterday and try to forget about it? Did he do or say something bad? Did he– “I love you~~ soooooooooooooo much Joongieeee!” Seonghwa dragged his words as if he struggled to say them or wanted to make sure Hongjoong understood. Well, it was probably not his fault then.
“Love, why are you drunk this early?” He asked as the other one was giggling and kissing him clumsily everywhere he could.
He pouted. “Bored” He just said, like a kid after getting caught doing something they shouldn’t do. He detached himself from Hongjoong and almost tripped. Thankfully Joong managed to catch him and not fall along with his lover, guiding him to the couch before going back to try and get his winter coat, his scarf and his hat off of himself, which was way easier now that his big boyfriend wasn’t clinging onto him.
“Bored? That’s it?” He said, going to the kitchen to get a glass of water, Seonghwa really needed one… or more.
“Yee!” He said with the child voice he always had when drunk. “Brain wouldn’t shut up and it hurts! And, and I was missing youuu!” He said all innocently while doing the grabby hands towards his lover. He was really, really drunk. Hongjoong looked at the glass of water. ‘I need a way bigger glass than this’ he thought to himself. He went to sit next to Seonghwa after getting a big mug of water filled to the brim… which was not the best idea when it was for a drunk person… As expected, Hwa’s shirt drank as much water as the older one did. It made Hongjoong laugh and ultimately Seonghwa followed, laughing along.
The TV noise made him look at it, curious about what his drunk lover was watching… he was not expecting a cartoon. “Hwa… Why are you watching paw patrol?”
“LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY AREEEEE!” Hongjoong was sure he had lost hearing points.
“Have you eaten anything before you drank? Or even during?” Seonghwa just shook his head no. Hongjoong was in for the full experience today wasn’t he? His boyfriend being this wasted had only happened two other times, and both those times it was the exact same story. First he acted like a kid. Then after a glass of water he felt sick and had to throw up, then Hwa became really needy as he sobered up. Another big glass of water and he was starting to come back to normal, another trip to the bathroom and then sleep time. And after he woke up it was apologies time… He didn’t hate taking care of his lover, but seeing Hwa being a mess was never pleasant. He was also not looking forward to the thirty minute long apology session where Seonghwa was going to inevitably cry and blame himself for being a bad lover, then he would pass out and wake up with a bad headache and wanting to sleep for another week but he would settle for cuddles and good food.
“Joongie…”
“Yep, yep, bathroom trip” He knew exactly what that little call was for. Thankfully they managed to reach the toilet bowl and lift the seat up in time. The good thing was that Hwa always felt it early enough and never threw up on the floor. And as expected the rest of the day went by as planned… Even drunk Seonghwa was well organised and it really scared Hongjoong and made him laugh at the same time.
Though the apologies were way less long this time as the older’s attention got caught by the time, it was not even three yet.
“Wait- What are you doing here this early?”
“Class got cancelled, did you not see the email we got?” Replied Joong.
“No? Why are classes cancelled? Is it for the whole school?”
“You have not looked through the window at all today have you?” After those words Seonghwa went to the window where he could only see white everywhere. All of the roofs, roads, courtyards and gardens were covered by a big layer of snow.
“Well I guess I can go sleep some more… Sorry again…”
“I’ll go get painkillers first… and the trash can just in case.” He paused for a bit. “Does your hand still hurt?”
Shit, Hwa forgot about that. It was still hurting a lot and he knew Hongjoong was going to take him to the hospital to get it checked…
After the dredded visit to the hospital he knew that he indeed broke his hand… That wall was too damn strong. And now he was annoyed at how difficult it was to clean with a cast…