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Quantum entanglement is the phenomenon whereby a pair of particles are generated in such a way that the individual quantum states of each cannot be described independently of the state of the other. The measurement of the state of one particle, therefore, provides information about the other.
*
In other words, the observation of either Screwllum's or Ratio’s position on the final examination result ranking board determines the position of the other. Screwllum came in first place this time, thus Ratio's second.
"That is, not at all, what quantum entanglement is about. If you are going to use a metaphor to rub salt in my wound, at least do it properly.” Ratio steps forward slightly so he can pretend that he doesn't belong to the same friend group as the blond man. They soon blend into the flow of students. Ratio walks intentionally fast with a slight hope that he may lose those two idiots.
Empirical research shows that he cannot.
Ratio finds an empty classroom and slips in. He sighs when he sees Aventurine and Topaz follow right after.
"What are you two doing here?” Ratio asks.
"We got lost?” Aventurine answers innocently.
"Your department is half a campus away. How did you get lost that badly?”
"We thought it might be nice to visit you a bit since the final exam is finally over. You’ve been busy with research all semester.” Topaz smiles apologetically.
It has been a while since Ratio last hung out with his friends. While Ratio does feel a little bit bad about it, he can’t really help it. If the curriculum that has tormented hundreds of generations of physics students wasn’t excruciating enough for Ratio, his research project is currently coming to a major stage that consists of endless reports and exhaustive experiments. He has seen more physics than he’s seen people during the past months, and on rare occasions in which he actually gets to see a person, said person is more than likely one of his professors. Ratio makes mental notes to spend more time with his friends once his schedule gets less busy.
Ratio notices that Aventurine is looking at something outside the classroom's window. The schematic look on his face lets Ratio know that “something” is not in his favor.
“Hey Doctor, since you hate the last entanglement metaphor I made so much, wanna hear another one?” Aventurine suddenly asks, still staring out the window.
“With all due respect, no.” Ratio replies.
“Too bad, this is the price you pay for making us listen to all those yappings.”
The realization of either Screwllum's or Ratio's location at a given time gives us information about the location of the other one with a probability much higher than 50%.
"Now that's just factually…” Ratio's words are interrupted when the door opens. A figure with a funny-looking hat that just happens to be one place higher than Ratio on the ranking board walks in.
“...wrong.” He finishes his sentence with a facepalm.
Funny-looking hat bows at them.
“Greetings, Mr. Ratio. And I believe these are your friends from the Department of Economics and Management.” His voice is soft and polite.
Ratio's face is still in his palm. He doesn't want to look up and see Aventurine's smug quite yet.
"Are you alright, Mr. Ratio?” Screwllum’s concerned question doesn’t particularly help.
"Yes… I'm fine, Mr. Screwllum. I'm fine.” Ratio takes a deep breath before slowly raising his head. He tries to give Screwllum a reassuring smile, not sure if he’s succeeded or not.
It feels weird to be around Screwllum right now, and it’s not because of the placement of their names on the ranking list. Ratio is not the type of person to hold a grudge against somebody just because they achieve more. He just doesn’t like being compared to a particle in an entangled quantum pair with Screwllum being the other one. Fine, they happen to temporarily be in the same empty classroom, at the same time, possibly for the same reason of avoiding the crowded hallway. That does not mean they are correlated to each other.
“Say, Mr. Screwllum, what’s your plan for this morning? Just asking.” Aventurine asks.
"Answer: I will be attending the annual quantum chromodynamics conference in less than an hour.” Screwllum replies.
“And I'm assuming you will be there as well?” Aventurine turns to Ratio.
That bastard Aventurine knows exactly what he's doing.
Ratio finds Screwllum's electronic gaze fixated on him.
“No, I will not.” Ratio says.
He will. He just refuses to let Aventurine get his point.
"I see.” Screwllum responds.
Ratio regards the hint of disappointment in his voice as a common hallucination. Thus there’s no need to feel guilty, he thinks to himself. He still does anyway, as if Screwllum is not going to figure that out in less than an hour when they’ll be sitting in the same goddamn room.
"So a math student is going to be at a physics conference but a physics student isn't? Not just any physics student but the physics student of our year?” Topaz raises an eyebrow.
"It happens sometimes, yes.” Ratio tries to sound as casual as possible
What the hell is Screwllum the math student doing in a physics conference anyway, one may ask. Well, he’s Screwllum. Normal people's standards cannot be applied to him. In fact, Ratio will not be surprised if one day he randomly shows up at Ratio’s sculpting session saying he wants to learn the art form and nail it on his very first attempt.
“Scientists have their own laws, Topaz.” Aventurine says with a knowing smile that gives Ratio the urge to smack him upside the head. "Well, we're just passing by to say hi to our good friend Ratio. We’ll be heading off to a club meeting now.”
Ratio knows damn well those two are not having any meetings this early in the morning. But then it’s not like he can do anything about it. He watches as dread slowly arises in his eyes as his friends walk away, leaving behind echoes of giggles. And then Ratio finds himself alone in an empty classroom with Mr. Genius.
“Congratulations on your exam result.” Ratio says after several minutes of silence in an attempt to break the awkwardness.
“Thank you. Congratulations to you too, Mr. Ratio.”
Ratio scoffs.
“There’s no need to be condescending, Mr. Screwllum.”
“I mean it, Mr. Ratio. I’d like to apologize if it came out as condescending.” Screwllum looks at him. Bright turquoise eyes are probably trying to read his reaction. Ratio doesn’t respond. Another several minutes pass.
“...Well, I should get going. I’ll see you around, Mr. Ratio.” Screwllum finally speaks up again, and Ratio feels rather grateful for that. He's just begun to fear that a black hole may appear due to the density of awkwardness that has been skyrocketing in this room.
“Goodbye.” He nods. Regret comes almost immediately after.
Now why did he even say that? They are going to the same conference.
It takes Screwllum precisely seven steps to start hypothesizing that Veritas Ratio may be following him.
If there is one thing more awkward than saying goodbye to a person just to realize both of you are walking in the same direction, then it must be saying goodbye to a person knowing that you two are going to the same location for the same reason. Bonus points if said person is why you are in second place in your final exam.
Screwllum’s hypothesis is confirmed once both of them have reached the conference room.
“This is the conference room.” Screwllum states.
“I know.”
Ratio replies as he avoids Screwllum's glowing eyes. It is barely 9 am and Ratio can already imagine the front page of tomorrow’s local newspaper.
A college student cringed himself to death right before an annual physics conference.
As Screwllum begins to realize what is happening, he chuckles lightly before saving Ratio from his impending doom.
“Let us find our seats then.”
Ratio finds himself sitting next to Screwllum a few minutes later, the reason being his brain could not come up with a single excuse for them not to when Screwllum suggested it. Well, not a single one that he can tell Screwllum at least.
Internally, Ratio is already on that newspaper's front page. Externally, he still has three more hours of this. He’ll live. Probably. If not, he will just haunt Aventurine and Topaz for the rest of eternity. It is fine. It has been a good life.
The thing about scholars is they would put most things aside to make place for knowledge pursuing. Ratio's awkwardness coupled with the existence of a certain robot sitting next to him gradually fades away as the professors deliver their speeches about quarks and gluons. At one point, Ratio has started to feel hopeful about his chance of surviving the three hours of being in Screwllum’s presence.
For some unknown reason, though, an afternoon after the conference, Ratio still finds himself sitting across Screwllum in a nearby coffee shop, discussing quantum chromodynamics. It started when one of Ratio’s thoughts got spoken out loud, and Screwllum responded to that, and their conversation didn’t end there. It didn’t end when the conference ended, and, well, they could not just leave it like that. That’d be extremely unprofessional.
Ratio casts a glance outside and realizes the sun has started to set. They've spent all the working hours of the day together.
That is still not what entanglement is about.
"I find our discussion rather joyous, Mr. Ratio. I wish to be engaged in more of them in the future.” Screwllum says as they leave the shop.
“...I don't see why not.” Ratio gives him a dry smile.
He does.
“Are you occupied this weekend, then?” Screwllum asks.
“It’s one of my sculpturing sessions, unfortunately.”
It is one of Ratio’s sculpting sessions. At least he doesn’t have to make up any excuses.
“I will see you sometime, then.” Screwllum nods before he turns to leave.
For some reason, Ratio feels like Screwllum has already had “sometime” planned out.
—
The principle of uncertainty: Any pair of properties of a particle cannot be both measured exactly, at the same time, even in theory. The more accurately one property is measured, the less accurately the other property is known.
*
Ratio is, in fact, surprised when Screwllum randomly shows up at his sculpting session.
“How can I help you, Mr. Screwllum?” He tries to appear friendly.
“I would like to learn the art of sculpting.”
Ratio starts to suspect that there might be some forces that are actively listening to his thoughts.
"Can't you just install a program containing instructions for that?” He asks.
“I believe certain knowledge can only be acquired through practice. Do you not agree, Mr. Ratio?” Screwllum replies.
“...True.”
Screwllum takes the seat next to Ratio.
“Are you in any sort of need for my guidance?” Ratio reluctantly asks.
“I appreciate your kindness, Mr. Ratio. I did install the instructions. However, a suggestion for what I should make first is more than welcomed.” Screwllum tilts his head.
Ratio glances inside his opened backpack. “Then… how about rubber duck. That should be a suitable choice for a beginner.” Well not exactly. But beginner Screwllum can hardly be sorted into the same category as any other beginner, can’t he? Screwllum nods before he gets started with his work. Lucky for Ratio, his days of working with quantum mechanics have perfected his ability to tune the existence of a person out completely, even if said person is Screwllum himself.
Fine, maybe the latter part of that statement is not entirely true.
It doesn’t take long for Ratio to start being aware of the turquoise LEDs that are expectantly fixed on him. When Ratio turns to look at the table next to him, a stone rubber duck looks back at him. The quality of it is irritatingly good.
“What do you think?” The electronic voice asks him.
“I think I should’ve picked something more challenging. Well done.” Ratio comments genuinely. He puts out his hand. “Can I take a look?”
Screwllum places the stone rubber duck in his palm. Their hands make the smallest bit of contact, which makes Ratio notice that Screwllum has taken off his gloves, likely due to the inconvenience of wearing them while sculpting. The mental surface is too cool on Ratio’s fingertips. He ignores that tiniest, almost non-existent spark in his stomach.
“You can keep it if you want.” Screwllum says as Ratio observes the little duck.
“Oh.” Ratio says, a little taken aback. “As much as I appreciate your generosity, I have no use for it.” He hurriedly adds while handing back the sculpture to Screwllum. Screwllum slightly lowers his head, almost as if he’s disappointed. Common hallucination.
“I suppose I will leave it at the studio with the rest of the other statues.” Screwllum stands up from his seat. “It’s been a rewarding experience, and for that, I’d like to say thank you, Mr. Ratio. I have other matters to attend to now. I look forward to seeing you some other time.”
Ratio’s gaze follows Screwllum as he leaves the room. He continues to stare at the closed door for a good minute before he resumes with his own sculpture and tries not to think too much about what just happened. He doesn’t question why Screwllum suddenly wanted to learn sculpting or why he wanted Ratio to keep the duck. Or why he kept seeing these hallucinations of Screwllum getting saddened every time Ratio turned him down.
As Ratio is about to leave, he looks at Screwllum's duck. As if possessed by an unknown force of evil, Ratio decides to put that duck in his backpack, next to his actual rubber one.
The next time Ratio meets Screwllum is in the university’s quantum laboratory. A place which Ratio has every reason to be at and Screwllum has none. He starts to seriously consider Aventurine’s words. It still doesn’t make any sense for it to be put in a simile with the definition of quantum entanglement, of course. But on its own, the statement is starting to get more and more accurate. It’s got to be something to do with that idiot’s ridiculous luck. Having a bet with him is setting oneself up for failure. The man has Nike standing on his hand like the goddess Athena when it comes to gambling or anything that involves luck.
It’s either that or whatever force whose whole purpose is to make Ratio suffer. Possibly the same one that causes particles to be entangled as well.
“Mr. Ratio, meet Mr. Screwllum. Though I’ve suspected that you two may have already known each other beforehand. I saw you went to the conference last week together.” His professor smiles at him.
Perfect.
“I’ll be your research partner in your upcoming project. It’s an honor of mine.” Screwllum holds out his hand.
Of course, why not?
Ratio is about to have a thought that goes what’s next, will he be changing his major to physics next semester as well or something along those lines but figures it would be too risky as there very well may be something currently eavesdropping on his thoughts and working on turning them into reality.
“...I suppose that’s why you attended the quantum conference last week. It’s my pleasure as well.” Ratio shakes his hand, doesn’t even bother asking why, out of all people, he would be paired with Screwllum. Out of the five stages, Ratio is at the final stage: acceptance.
“You’ve always worked alone, Ratio. Working with somebody else once in a while may do you some good.” His dear professor answers anyway.
Certainly something to look forward to, working with a notorious genius that is, Ratio thought to himself bitterly.
It wasn’t even that long for Ratio’s “upcoming” project to become his “current” project.
Ratio walks toward the laboratory with dread in his stomach. And, of course, Screwllum, the forever gentleman who has always been appropriately early, arrived before him. He’s reading some papers that Ratio assumes to be their initial reference material. Ratio takes a deep breath before walking in.
“Early as always, Mr. Screwllum.” Ratio notifies Screwllum about his arrival.
“Greetings, Mr. Ratio. I hope you got a good night's sleep.” Screwllum puts aside the papers. “I brought you coffee in case you need it.”
“Oh.” A surprised sound escapes Ratio’s mouth. “Thank you.”
He receives the coffee cup from Screwllum’s hand and takes a sip. As a regular customer of the cafeteria’s drink stall, he can immediately tell that this is not from them.
“Where did you get this?” Ratio asks curiously. The taste is astonishingly good and he’d like to buy them himself sometimes.
“I brewed them myself at home. Is there something wrong?” A tinge of nervousness is found in that question.
“It’s fine.” Ratio says, quickly adds, “I like it.”
Screwllum nods. “Then I’ll make them for you more often. I’m glad you like it.”
Ratio opens his mouth to say something but then decides to close it again. There’s no need to say ‘there’s no need’. There’s never really any harm in good coffee and how often can ‘more often’ be anyway?
Well, almost every day, Ratio later learns.
If his previous research made Ratio see more physics experiments and equations than living things, this one increases the probability of him being in the same room with Screwllum to a number higher than the probability of him seeing any other person on Earth. It’s almost like Aventurine’s metaphor has manifested itself into reality and for actual good reasons as well.
Maybe the next time he sees him he will ask if the man is god himself.
“Observation: You seem distracted. Are you sick, Mr. Ratio?” There is a degree of worry in the android’s voice. They are standing in front of a set of monitors, discussing the result of their latest experiment and how they should put it in the report.
Naturally, Ratio has learned to be more comfortable around Screwllum considering how much time they have to spend working with each other. And, may his professor’s old age bring him wisdom, having a research partner really does Ratio some good. Words and thoughts don’t slip away as easily when there’s somebody else there to listen. Especially if that person is a walking supercomputer with an inhuman ability to memorize every single thing Ratio has ever said to him.
“Tiredness, maybe. How long have we worked on this report already?” Ratio closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He has started measuring time in the unit of coffee quite a while ago. Ratio glances at the wooden table nearby. Three cups apparently.
“Six hours and forty-seven minutes. We should take a break. We can resume our work tomorrow.” Screwllum says as he turns to discard Ratio’s empty coffee cups. Ratio opens his mouth to tell him that he can do that himself but then decides against it, for he has just now realized that two out of those three cups were brought to him by Screwllum himself. Since when have these things become this normal?
"Question: Are you returning home now?” Screwllum inspects Ratio as he locks the door of the laboratory.
“No… I think I will pay the sculpture studio a visit. It’s been a while.”
He has no idea why he’s being so honest.
“Understood. Goodbye, then.” Screwllum nods but doesn’t show any sign of actually leaving the hallway that they are standing in.
It takes Ratio about seven steps to start questioning if Screwllum is following him.
His question is answered when they both have walked inside the studio and Screwllum turns to close the door behind him.
“...I see what you’re doing, Screwllum.” Ratio glares at the android. Screwllum chuckles in response.
"It's been a while for me to be here as well, Ratio.”
"Very well. Do you need a suggestion this time too, Mr. Genius?” Ratio asks half-heartedly as they settle in the exact same seat they did the last time. Screwllum shakes his head.
“Answer: I’ve already decided what I want to make today.”
“I look forward to the result, then.” Ratio smiles as he sits down to continue the work where he left off last time. It's a Greek Renaissance-style portrait statue with delicate features and an olive branch hairpin similar to the one he usually wears. He raises his head to look at Screwllum once every ten minutes or so, unconsciously admiring the way the android is fully focused on his task. He perceives how the chisel and hammer move around with mechanical precision in those shiny slender fingers. Mesmerizing, he internally muses, then instantly discards the thought the moment he becomes aware of the existence of it.
What Ratio doesn’t notice, though, is that Screwllum has also been observing him as well, and it is all due to the genius’s flawless calculation. Thus, it takes Ratio by surprise when he realizes what Screwllum is making.
“Is that… me?” He can’t help but ask.
“What do you think?” Screwllum speaks with a hint of tease in his voice.
“Well, it certainly looks like me.” Ratio moves to stand behind Screwllum for a better look. A warm laugh is let out as a response.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Ratio looks at the statue of himself a bit more before continuing to speak.
“Although other people may say that it looks a bit out of character. The expression looks too kind.”
“But you are kind, Ratio.”
“It will be very difficult even for a genius like you to find somebody else agreeing with that statement, Screwllum.” He scoffs. He watches as Screwllum turns around. Turquoise lights look up at him. Screwllum watches him back with meticulousness, as if considering his statement about how others perceive him. Finally, as his central processor unit has finished its calculation, he speaks:
“Even if it is true that I’m missing the viewpoint of others, I don’t think it really matters anyway. After all, art is supposed to reflect the belief of the artist, isn’t it? I personally believe Veritas Ratio is a compassionate and devoted person at heart, especially for the things that he cares about. Physics and his friends, for instance.”
Ratio finds himself speechless for several seconds at Screwllum’s comment. Then he begins to chortle.
“Topaz and Aventurine would be extremely offended by how you put physics before them in that sentence. Not to say that they would disagree though. They know where they are.”
“Let us just assume that there are multiple sides to Veritas Ratio. The more a person tends to look at one side, the less likely they can understand the others. Enthusiasm or narcissism, kindness or selfish ambitions. Some things must be left uncertain for the revealing of other things. Either way, I prefer my version of Veritas Ratio more. It is closer to the real Ratio in my perspective.”
A pause.
“Would I be able to find myself upon that list of things that you care about, Ratio?” Screwllum asks, catches Ratio in bewilderment.
Another pause, longer than the last one.
“Of course.” Ratio replies.
Screwllum is considered a friend just like Aventurine and Topaz, of course. Sure, he has never spent dozens of hours a week around them like he did with Screwllum recently before, but Ratio would argue that that’s hardly a situation he could get himself out of even if he wanted to.
Screwllum stands up to walk around the room. His back is facing Ratio as he examines the several shelves of statues.
“I can’t seem to find the rubber duck I made last time.” He says with slight amusement. “Question: Do you happen to know where it’s gone, Ratio?”
Ratio can feel the heat creeping up his face.
“No. Strange, huh.”
“Well, whoever took it…” Screwllum faces Ratio directly, causing the man to start praying that he doesn’t notice the blush on his face, “...I hope they like it.”
“...I’m sure they do. A pity that I may not get to see it again.”
He hears Screwllum’s warm chuckle. Though it certainly doesn’t help with his current blushing situation, Ratio doesn’t find it unpleasant at all.
As they are both about to leave the studio, a question pops up in Ratio’s head. He admits that the time it took for him to come to such a suspicion was embarrassingly long considering how blatant Screwllum was being this entire time.
What if it wasn’t a force of nature but genius Screwllum himself who set up all these coincidental encounters between them?
“Screwllum, do you…”
Do you, by any chance, have feelings for me?
Ratio finds he cannot get that question out of his mouth as Screwllum looks at him. Thus, he changes tactics.
“Why did you decide to make a sculpture of me?”
Screwllum considers it for a bit.
“Perhaps it was because I wanted to portray your beauty.” He replies at last.
Well, that didn’t help.
Not in the way that Ratio had hoped it would help, at least. Or perhaps, so precisely how Ratio had hoped it would help that it backfired.
What the hell.
Ratio feels like his heart has just died then revived itself. And his brain, too. He may as well just do exactly that himself and hope that it will get rid of the flush that is threatening to spread to every single cell on his body.
Some things must be left uncertain for the revealing of other things.
“If there’s nothing else, I will see you tomorrow, Ratio. It is quite late already. Goodbye. And I mean it this time.” And then, with a soft laugh, Screwllum heads home, leaving a slightly dumbfounded Ratio behind.
He decides to go back into the studio to take the sculpture Screwllum has just made with him. It will be quite hectic if anybody finds out there’s a statue of him in the studio and, judging by the abysmal quality of the gossip that’s been spreading like wildfire around the campus lately, it will not take long for them to find out who the creator is.
—
Forcing one particle of an entangled pair into a particular state causes the entanglement to break.
*
One day, the messenger of god, otherwise known as their professor, came to announce that the god, otherwise known as their principal Nous, has decided that they no longer want Ratio to suffer. Ratio really wishes that they made up their mind one or two months earlier before he started to enjoy the suffering he was put through, otherwise known as working with Screwllum. That would’ve been nice.
It happened like this: Screwllum was summoned for a private talk in the hallway during one of the times they were discussing their project. Screwllum came back with the knowledge that he was now included in a scholarship program that would take place abroad.
“How long is the program going to be?” Ratio asks, tries to be as nonchalant as possible.
“Answer: Two years. But we will have enough time to finish our current project before it happens, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”
“Oh.” Ratio gives the quietest response. If Screwllum notices it, he doesn’t say anything. Their conversation regarding the topic ends there.
That afternoon, Ratio finds Aventurine’s singing particularly obnoxious.
“Oh, ‘cause it’s gravity, oh, keeping you with me…”
“Gravity is the weakest one out of the four fundamental forces.” Ratio states matter-of-factly.
“Don’t you just hate it when physicists just casually ruin your experience of enjoying music, Topaz?” Aventurine says with a feigned pout. “Can I at least know why you decided to ruin it, Mr. Physicist?” Ratio looks at him with a deadpan expression.
“Is it because of the scholarship program?” Topaz asks.
“How… Nevermind.” Ratio has forgotten that these two run a student club. They know pretty much everything that is going on in the campus. “It is not. I wasn’t aiming for it anyway.” A lie. Sort of. He did try to go for it when he first got accepted by the university. He gave up after the fourth research conducted by him failed to get any attention from Nous.
“We weren’t talking about that. We heard Screwllum got accepted.” Aventurine says with a heightened tone of mischief.
“I don’t think there’s a single person that has ever walked around this campus who didn’t see that coming, Aventurine. Why would I be upset because of that?”
Ratio did see that coming, as well. How could he not? He just kind of forgot about it recently due to the amount of work he had. Work that was more than likely to involve Screwllum, yes, but that’s beside the point.
“It is because of Screwllum, isn’t it?”
Well.
“No, it’s not. I’m fine, Aventurine. I’m not upset. Your song is just dumb.” He hears the offended gasp from the blonde and snorts.
The three of them continue walking for a while. As if wanting to give Ratio some space to brood, the other two don’t carry out their usual antics. Their company keeps Ratio’s thoughts off the turmoil that seems to pay no mind to his refusal to acknowledge it and continues messing up his heart like it owns the place (it probably does anyway). It doesn’t take long before they reach the girls’s dormitory building. Topaz finally says something as she’s about to walk into the building.
“The thing about gravity is that it can reach infinitely far, right? Sure, you can win against it by simply jumping up, but it will pull you back down eventually. Well, of course, if there’s no other force applied to you, but… let’s just keep it optimistic.”
Ratio widens his eyes.
“That’s the top student of the economics major for you.” Aventurine giggles a bit before they continue to walk back to their own dorms.
That’s also the thing with quantum entanglement. As much as the slightest touch from the outside world on any particle of the pair and the entanglement would break. But as long as you keep them both isolated from the world, no matter how far apart they are in space, they stay entangled. That was why Aventurine’s metaphor was disqualified in the first place. Proximity has nothing to do with the way two particles are entangled.
Of course, realistically, it would be infinitely more intricate to keep them isolated than to break the entanglement between them. And Ratio is afraid that ‘contact from the outside world’ has already come.
Keep it optimistic, his friend said.
Well, they are not entangled particles now, are they?
It seems that Ratio has been brainwashed into believing the entanglement metaphor propaganda of Aventurine. He laughs at himself because of it. What a scandal for a physics student.
It’s midnight and Ratio figures he cannot sleep. He stares at the duck and the statue of himself lying on a table in the corner of his dorm room. Two gifts from Screwllum. Two gifts that were stolen from the studio. Ratio would argue that Screwllum did say he could have one of them if he wanted to, and the other one quite literally had his face on it, so Ratio was just taking what was… rightfully his.
Two gifts. One looks stupid, one looks kind. The very last two adjectives that people can use to describe Ratio and yet both were made with Ratio in the creator's mind. And that’s what Ratio is like to Screwllum. Not the stupid part. That’s a conclusion coming from Ratio. Screwllum might have perceived the duck as… cute. Ratio slightly blushes at the implication that that’s also what Screwllum probably thinks of him. Still, not an adjective that can be used to describe Ratio.
What is Screwllum like to Ratio? What would a gift made for Screwllum by Ratio look like? Probably not that different from the real one. Screwllum doesn’t have multiple sides to him. He’s probably as much of a gentleman to everybody else as he is to Ratio. Regardless, Ratio wants to find out. Thus, in the middle of the night, in a setting that is much more suitable for a horror movie than for a rom-com, Ratio leaves his dorm and heads to the studio with one question in mind.
What is Screwllum like to him?
As much as physicists like to ramble about how time is relative, more often than not, they cannot, in fact, stop time, due to the unfortunate reality that they cannot make things move with the speed of light. Thus, what will happen, will happen, and not even Screwllum and Ratio can stop it.
“Mr. Ratio, Mr. Screwllum, your paper has been accepted for publication. Congratulations.” Their professor says, declaring that their collaboration is officially over. There’s officially no more reason for Ratio to see Screwllum and drink the coffee he makes anymore.
With bitterness in his mouth, Ratio asks, “When are you leaving for the program?”
“Answer: It would be next Monday if there are no changes to be made.”
Ratio takes a deep breath to gather his courage. “Come with me to the sculpture studio. I… made something for you.”
Screwllum lets out a surprised sound but doesn’t say anything more. They travel to the studio in utter silence, with Screwllum precisely two steps behind Ratio. He kinda wishes that they were walking side by side, but this will have to do.
Once they are inside the studio, Ratio makes his way toward one of the shelves. “I thought about how I should depict ‘Screwllum’ when I made this. And… Well, you don’t have as many sides as I do, not that I’ve known of. It wouldn’t be as different from how another person would depict you.” He picks up a sculpture. A mechanical hand with puppet-like joints for knuckles, similar to Screwllum’s own. A butterfly is on the tip of its index finger, with rather soft and mellow patterns on its wings. Fine and gentle. That’s Ratio’s Screwllum. He hands it to the android. “A gift.”
A soft laugh escapes Screwllum's vocal module as he reaches out to take the sculpture. “Thank you. But I do think it’s quite different from how others would depict me, Ratio.”
“How so?”
“Well…” Screwllum carefully places Ratio’s present on the table beside him. He then takes off his gloves. “Not many people I’ve seen my hands ungloved.” He raises his hand so he can touch Ratio’s face. For a moment, Ratio thought his heart had stopped experiencing time itself for how fast it was going. For a moment, it reached the speed limit of the universe.
A gentle tap on his face from the cool mental digit and Ratio snaps back to reality.
“I…” He finds that no sound is coming out of his mouth. He tries again. “I hope we will have more collaborations in the future. Maybe when you get back.” Fear suddenly sparks inside his chest. “You will get back, right?”
Screwllum chuckles. “Yes, I’ll be back. I promise.”
As they say goodbye, Ratio forlornly wishes that he can experience that awkwardness when they both walk to the same location after again.
—
A quantum system can be in a superposition of several eigenstates. Upon measurement, however, its state collapses into a single eigenstate due to interaction with the external world.
*
“That’s such an overcomplicated way to say that you two are in a situationship.” Aventurine comments as they make their way inside Ratio’s house. It’s their summer break. And though for college students that lasts for two weeks at most, they still have time for a short vacation back to their hometown. Aventurine sprawls across Ratio's couch despite its owner’s judging glare. Topaz opts for the armchair nearby. They both lazily watch as Ratio brews some tea in the kitchen.
It’s been a little more than three weeks since Screwllum’s departure. One hundred more to go.
“We are not in a situationship.” Ratio says as he places the cups of tea on the table. Aventurine picks one up with a smirk. He leisurely sips from it as he eyes Ratio’s shelves. And then he spots something. “Dude, I've always known your narcissism was bad but I didn’t think you would actually display a statue of yourself in your living room.”
Ratio forgot that he had decided to bring that sculpture back home since he figured the dorm room was probably not the ideal place to store them. There would be fewer thoughts about Screwllum if there were fewer things that reminded him of Screwllum in his sight. He will keep the duck with him when he returns to campus, though. He may want to talk to it once in a while.
Topaz walks toward the statues. “It looks pretty decent. Did you make it?”
If that’s not an awkward question to answer. Ratio waits for Aventurine to put down his cup before he speaks. He doesn’t want the idiot to spill tea on his beloved couch.
“Screwllum made it.”
Both of his friends almost snapped their necks for how fast they were turning to look at him.
“Come again?” Aventurine, being the drama queen that he is, throws him a look that says ‘I’m tempted to pick up that bloody teacup just for the sole reason of spilling it on your couch because that’s the only appropriate way for me to express my state of perplexity right now.’
“Screwllum made that sculpture.” Ratio repeats himself, much quieter than how he usually speaks.
“What did he even say after that?” Topaz asks. “As much of a strange person that he is, he couldn’t just make a statue of you and not give any explanation at all, could he?”
Ratio clears his throat. “He… he said he wanted to portray my beauty.” He can almost see the physical manifestation of Topaz’s growing embarrassment as he recites the phrase.
“He made a sculpture of you then said, and I quote, ‘wanted to portray your beauty’, and that goddamn superposition or whatever you call it still hasn’t collapsed yet. That is more persistent than my will to live.” His blond friend is completely flabbergasted.
“Your will to live is not that high of a standard for persistence.” Ratio snorts.
The rest of their conversation plays out with multiple ‘how did you two even move on after that?’ and ‘oh my god you are absolutely hopeless’ coming from both of them. It’s one thing if those phrases are from the blond one, another if they are actually from Topaz. Now that’s concerning. “For a person who got hated by most of his peers for the curves-ruining habit, you seem to have pathetically failed at matters like this.” The blonde comes to a conclusion at last.
“It’s not that I can do anything about it now, can I? He’s half the globe away already.” And whose fault is that? “He’ll be back. He promised me that.”
“But how do you know he still has feelings for you when he’s finally back?” Topaz says.
Good question.
“I don’t.” He replies honestly.
Half of scientific research involves not knowing the answer to a question. The other half is about finding out the answer to said question.
“I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.”
—
Einstein, stop telling God what to do.
*
Ratio casts a quick look at his calendar. Fifty-four weeks since Screwllum’s departure. Fifty more to go. He opens his phone and smiles at the good morning text from Screwllum. He replies with a little heart emoji. He then opens a group chat and finds his two dearest friends getting murdered (figuratively) by their dissertation. Ratio can already tell today is going to be a decent day.
It’s not that Ratio isn’t also being victimized by his own dissertation or anything. He just got used to being the object of victimization from all the years he spent conducting research. For normal people, they are getting delivered to hell. For Ratio, he’s a good neighbor of the devil himself. Thus, despite his chosen topic being several times more difficult than that of normal people, he’s coping fine.
The only thing that’s been bothering him lately is the realization that Screwllum will not be at his graduation ceremony, which is four months away.
Well, he can still attend Ratio’s master’s and doctoral graduation ceremonies. In fact, Ratio may just get multiple PhDs if that’s what it takes for Screwllum to be able to attend one of those.
The day of their execution (some call it dissertation defense) is approaching and they all start to go a little insane. People, namely Topaz and Aventurine, actually begin to relate to Ratio rehearsing his presentation to rubber ducks so much that they stole his. Ratio has no choice but to use the duck Screwllum has gifted him. Not really rubber but just as cute.
“Your creator is really smart. I know you have it in you as well. Give me some advice.” Ratio talks to it the evening before the presentation day. Disappointingly enough, the duck does not possess such an ability.
Good luck with your defense.
Ratio wakes up with a text from Screwllum as usual.
Thank you.
He replies. His finger type out ‘it’d be nice if you could attend it’ then quickly delete it.
It is a shame that I cannot attend it.
Ratio steps out of the dorm. He will be fine.
To nobody’s surprise, Ratio’s defense went flawlessly. One degree is checked off his list, and several more to go.
Summer break comes. The second one since Screwllum left. He’ll be back to Ratio in the next one if everything goes as planned. Then, measurement will be made and the wave function between the two of them can finally be collapsed into one single deterministic state. Some days Ratio has feared that the result he will receive may not be the one he is looking forward to. But then again, the work of a scholar is not to seek what they want to see but to find the truth.
Ratio accepts his professor’s offer to work part-time as a teaching assistant at the university while studying for his master’s degree. He finds out that he enjoys the work of an educator more than he initially thought. Lecture halls appear more endearing to him as days go by, although there occasionally are some complaints about his rather aggressive style of teaching.
“You should really consider becoming a lecturer once you’ve collected all your degrees, Ratio.” His professor says to him one day. And he listens.
That will be a choice he will make some arbitrarily long time from now, though.
Seventy-one weeks since Screwllum left. Although a bachelor's degree is nothing but a stepping stone for people like Ratio, he does admit that he feels kind of excited about it. Partially as a result of his friends being over-excited about it. They declare that an event like this doesn’t happen often, thus one must be absolutely gorgeous for it. And so, against his will, Ratio is forced to wake up five hours prior to the actual start of the ceremony for preparation.
“Must we really…” Ratio complains.
“Yes, really. Now close your eyes, I have to put on your eyeshadow.”
Several more makeup steps and a long walk later and Ratio is now standing in the hall. There are the brightest smiles on Aventurine’s and Topaz’s faces. Well, there are smiles on everyone’s face. Naturally, there’s a smile on Ratio’s face as well. “Congratulations, Mr. Ratio.” His professor says with the kindest expression on his face, and he can’t help but imagine this could be him someday.
If only Screwllum was here, a thought appears in Ratio’s mind. Only then does Ratio that he didn’t receive a text from Screwllum this morning. Before sadness or suspicion even has the chance to spark, he hears Topaz’s delighted shout. “Group photo!”
Then, in between the flashes, Ratio instinctively averts his gaze to the entrance of the hall, and there he sees someone unexpected.
A figure with a funny-looking hat. And a comically large bouquet as well. Ratio freezes. Well, at least his brain does. His body must have started running, because the moment he snaps back to reality, he’s standing right in front of Screwllum.
“Congratulations, Veritas.” He hears the gentle voice that is filled with affection. How long has he not heard it? And by the gods, did Screwllum just call him by his first name? Ratio finds himself at a loss for words. And it appears that Screwllum’s also there with him. The android speaks after many, many seconds. “You look breathtaking.” Ratio, for the first time, appreciates the relentless effort of two certain annoying fools to put makeup on him at four in the morning.
“You… But the scholarship…” Ratio stutters out some words at last.
“Clarification: I finished the program early. I… wanted to see you sooner.”
Ah yes, he casually finished the program for geniuses handpicked by Nous early because he wanted to see Ratio sooner.
“Now you’re just showing off.” Ratio snorts, although pink has been painted all over his cheeks. Mostly from happiness.
Ratio knows very well now that the measurement of their quantum states has already been made. He still asks the question though, for formalization.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend, Screwllum?”
Another of those laughs that he can’t seem to get enough of. “It isn’t like you to ask questions with obvious answers.”
“It is for formalization.” He says.
“Yes, Veritas Ratio. I want to be your boyfriend.”
Ratio doesn’t think there will be a happier day in his life. Well, maybe the day that he gets proposed to. And his wedding day. Screwllum will have to start working on those things, if he hasn’t already, of course.
Ratio plants a kiss on Screwllum’s lower face plate, leaving the faintest smudge of lipstick behind. As utterly embarrassing as it looks, Ratio doesn’t want to wipe it off at all.
And that is how life goes for some people. They graduate from college and get the boyfriend that they’ve waited for more than a year one day, and still have to wake up and go to a graduate lecture the next day. Only that Ratio would soon find out that his new boyfriend had already waited for him at said lecture when he arrived.
“Screwllum,” He says, slightly startled, “As much as I love to sit next to you in class, this is a physics class.”
“Ah. I forgot to inform you. I’ve acquired the permission to change my major to physics for my graduate program.”
Ratio is reminded of a thought he tried not to have but apparently failed a while ago.
I do not appreciate you spying on my thoughts, he thinks to whatever the high-being that’s listening. Never mind, it is not my place to tell you what to do. Just keep on doing what you’re doing, I guess.
“Then I guess I have no choice.” He signs with faux exasperation and sits down next to Screwllum.
With the fingers intertwined under the table, Ratio turns to kiss the side of Screwllum’s face.
And they will have many days like this to come.