Work Text:
Buck really likes his boyfriend.
He may not know what Tommy's coffee order is, and Tommy may not indulge Buck's antics (like Chim's bachelor party) to the level he would like him to, but that was part of being in a relationship. It's not going to start out perfect, but part of being in a relationship is learning about one another!
And Buck and Tommy both have places to grow, with Buck recently discovering his sexuality and Tommy being a little too pessimistic, but they will grow and support each other because they're partners! Right?
————–
Buck and Tommy don't go out on dates a lot. That's not to say they don't spend a lot of time with each other; their usual date night is ordering takeout and hanging out at one of their places. Buck cooks sometimes. It's comfortable.
But every once in awhile Buck wants to go out, show off his boyfriend (or have his boyfriend show him off), but usually Tommy feels too tired after working to go anywhere. And Buck understands that! He's also a firefighter with crazy long hours. He's fine with that. But he would like some variety at the very least.
He decides to ask Tommy to go see a new rom-com that came out recently, Love and Other Awkward Situations, and while the movie is bound to be a bit silly, he thinks it would be a fun change.
Plus, if Tommy gets tired, he can just sleep on Buck's shoulder. And maybe they can sneak a few kisses here and there.
Buck thinks he's come up with a brilliant plan, but when he brings it up to Tommy that night, Tommy doesn't seem to agree.
"I don't like those kinds of movies," Tommy states. "They're stupid."
"But that's the point," Buck argues. Buck loves rom-coms, but even he knows they're no where near peak cinematography. He likes them because they're silly, and he's a sucker for a good romance. "Half the fun is pointing out how stupid it is."
Tommy sighs and closes his eyes, head tilted up to the ceiling. "Look, unless you want to make out in the back of the theater, I'm not going."
Buck feels the sting of rejection in his chest. But he probably should've known better, knowing Tommy's dry sense of humor and broodiness is probably not the key demographic for a movie like that.
Tommy seems to realize he's made Buck upset, so he sighs again. "Hey, if you really want to go to the movies, how about we go see that new thriller movie instead. I'll watch that with you."
Buck doesn't really like thrillers. He's liked some, but he gets enough of an adrenaline rush from his job that he doesn't really need more of it when he's off the clock. But his boyfriend is trying to compromise, trying to make him happy, so if he has to watch one thriller movie to show he appreciates his boyfriend, he can do that.
And they still get to do something different!
At the movies, Buck buys the tickets, Tommy buys the snacks, and they sit towards the back of the theater. Tommy holds his hand most of the movie, and they kiss a little bit during slow parts, and Buck enjoys just simply spending time with his boyfriend.
But he can't help that every once in awhile, Buck wishes he could be hearing Tommy laugh.
————–
Him and Maddie had made plans a couple weeks ago to go on a double date.
Maddie had heard a lot about Tommy, and while the two of them met at her and Chimney's wedding, they haven't really gotten to know each other. So it seemed like a great idea to use a double date for them to get to know each other.
Buck and Tommy had gotten there first, so Tommy had gone up to the bar to get them some drinks right before Maddie and Chim walked in.
Buck asks about Jee, Maddie and Chim give enthusiastic replies, and Tommy comes over with two beers.
"Hey!" Tommy yells. "Sorry, I would've grabbed something for you guys, but I didn't know how long you'd be.
Maddie smiles. "No worries."
Chim ends up getting drinks for him and Maddie so Maddie can talk to Tommy. When he comes back, Tommy is talking about his time at the 118.
"Yeah, Captain Gerrard ran things pretty differently from Bobby. But we got through it, even though we bumped heads a little bit, right Howie?"
Chimney glances up at Tommy, face screwed up a tad, before he brings his drink up to his mouth. "I think it was a little more than butting heads," he mutters.
"Aw, come on Howie, you were the new guy. We had to mess with ya a little bit," Tommy counters, eyes twinkling like he just said something hilarious. Chimney glares at Tommy, but says nothing.
Buck looks to Maddie, who seems uncomfortable, but not necessarily confused. He knew that Tommy and Chimney didn't get along when Chimney first started at the 118, but he feels like he's missing something.
Before he can ask anything, Maddie changes the subject back to Jee, and how they've already had to start looking at preschools because, according to her, "the waitlists are so stupidly long Jee would be out of preschool by the time she got off".
Buck seemingly doesn't know everything about Tommy's past, but clearly he's become a better person, right? Obviously Tommy and Chimney aren't best friends by any means, and, okay, Tommy did not respond to Chim in the best way, but from what Buck does know it seems like Tommy has improved a lot as a person. Far from perfect, Gerrard's influence couldn't go away overnight, but still better.
Even though some of the tension dissipates by the time they leave the bar, it never fully leaves. The whole thing leaves Buck feeling uneasy, but he's not sure why.
————–
Buck, Karen, and Hen started doing wine night a few months ago.
It started a little bit before Buck and Tommy started dating, when Karen had gotten a fancy bottle of wine from a coworker to thank her for helping them get a (apparently, very important) prototype to work. They had invited Buck and Eddie over, so Christopher and Denny could hang out and the adults could drink fancy-ass wine. From then on, Buck, Karen, and Hen met nearly every week to drink wine and talk shit.
Eddie comes sometimes too, he's always invited, but with Christopher starting to go to after school clubs and his school having more fundraisers to make-up for the COVID years, he doesn't show up every time. This particular night, Christopher's school was holding a fair, and Chris specifically wanted to go to see a girl he apparently has a crush on. So, just the three of them tonight.
The first glass of wine, they make the usual small talk. Buck asks Karen how work is going, and Karen and Hen talk about Denny growing up to fast. As Hen pours them all a second glass, she clears her throat.
"So," she says as she tops off each of their glasses and pushes Buck's in his direction, "how are you and Tommy doing?"
Buck knows Hen well enough to know that this is what she's really been wanting to ask him all night. "We're good. We went on a double date with Maddie and Chim, and it went…fine."
Hen and Karen share a look with each other, and Buck knows them both well enough to know they're doing some telepathic shit he can't understand. "What?"
They look at each other again, before Karen starts to explain. "We talked to Tommy. At the medal ceremony. And his answers just….concerned us a bit, that's all."
Hen continues, "We know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, obviously. We just care about you, and we want to see you happy."
And while Buck appreciates how much they care about him, he's still confused. He, once again, feels like there's something he's missing here. He must have some stupid look on his face, and Hen starts laughing.
"Look, nothing he said was outright bad. I just know that Chim didn't have the best first impression of him, I definitely did not have the best first impression of him, so I'm not going to fully trust him. Especially when it comes to someone I care about," she emphasizes to Buck. "But he seems to be…better. So unless you think there's an issue, we won't assume there's one." Buck isn't sure if that last part is exactly true, but at the very least it seems like they won't press further.
Karen nods to everything Hen says. "But if something were to happen, we have your back," she reminds him. Buck smiles at the two of them. He remembers their first wine night after Buck came out, Hen and Karen had decorated their house with Eddie's help, hanging up blue, purple, and pink streamers along with a bi flag behind where Buck sits. They bought wine that had pride flags on it, and even though the wine was pretty terrible, Buck remembers feeling like the night was anything but.
This time, however, he hopes that each glass of wine he drinks can quiet down the nagging feeling inside the back of his head that Tommy isn't who Buck thinks he is.
————–
Buck is feeling torn.
Tommy just left his place after they had dinner. Dinner was going well at first; Buck cooked, Tommy brought wine, and Buck was happy his boyfriend was with him.
But then Tommy had asked how Buck was doing after Bobby's heart attack, and…
Well, Buck had tried to be vulnerable, but when he mentioned how Bobby is the father Buck felt he never had, Tommy felt the need to point out how "his father's alive". Which, true. But Tommy also knew that their relationship wasn't the best, and Buck will always see Bobby as more of a father than Philip.
But Tommy had opened up about his own relationship with his dad, and it felt like maybe they were getting somewhere. Tommy doesn't open up often, so when he does, Buck feels special.
But then Buck made the stupid daddy issues comment, and Tommy had urged that Buck was the only one with daddy issues, followed up by saying he hoped he did.
Which…
Okay, Tommy is…very blunt. Which explains the 'dad being alive' comment. And, even though the whole daddy issues thing left a bad taste in his mouth, Buck could contribute it to Tommy feeling a little too vulnerable.
But he wishes Tommy wouldn't feel too vulnerable. Not with Buck. At the very least, Buck wishes that he could be vulnerable without the comments and the jokes.
Buck knows he's an emotional person, and he knows that sometimes he needs to hear the logical side of a situation before he explodes. But sometimes, he just needs someone to listen to him, hug him, comfort him. More than anything, he needs to know someone cares about him.
Not that Tommy makes it seem like he doesn't care about him. But with everything Buck has experienced lately surrounding Tommy….
No, he's getting in his head here. Plus, communication is important with things like this, and it's not like Buck has talked to Tommy about how he feels, what he wants and needs. Communication is key for a relationship, and Buck just needs to turn that lock.
And maybe, they'll come out of this stronger than ever.
————–
Buck forgets all his problems when he's kissing Tommy.
They had ordered pizza to Tommy's and watched a show, and once the pizza was gone and the credits were rolling, Tommy had put a hand on Buck's knee and slowly inched it up his thigh.
Now, they were in Tommy's room, Tommy's tongue in his mouth as Buck tries to take Tommy's shirt off. Tommy pulls back to let Buck pull the shirt over his head before reaching for Buck's own shirt, pulling it off in one fluid motion.
They pull back to each other like magnets, slowly moving towards the bed. Buck is desperately trying to kick his pants off, and he can tell Tommy is trying to do the same.
They finally reach the bed, and Buck pushes Tommy back onto the pillows at the head of the bed. He slowly moves from Tommy's mouth, to his jaw, to his neck…
He starts moving his hips, and the friction is amazing, and-
"Eddie."
Buck freezes.
For a split second, Buck isn't sure if he said it. He pushes himself up onto his knees, now straddling Tommy instead of laying on top of him.
"What?" Buck's voice is so small, he's not sure if Tommy can even hear it. Tommy covers his face with his hands, pulling the skin.
"Shit, Evan. I-"
And that's all the confirmation Buck needs before he's throwing his clothes back on. He thinks he accidentally stepped on Tommy's dick in his rush to get off of him, but honestly Buck is too upset to care. He just needs to focus on getting the hell out of there.
————–
Buck feels like an idiot.
Now, in hindsight, he doesn't know how he didn't see it sooner. Tommy had taken Eddie to Vegas in his helicopter to see a fight that Tommy had only bought two tickets for. Buck had watched as his boyfriend - should he even still call him that? - took his best friend into the sky and left Buck behind.
They went to basketball together all the time, and Tommy and Eddie were hanging out alone together, and-
If Buck wasn't currently driving, he'd be slamming his head into his steering wheel. How was he so stupid? How was he so blind?
The worst part is he wants to believe there's another explanation. He's too upset right now to think of any, but maybe there is one?
Yeah, Buck thinks, I'm fucking delusional.
The drive to Maddie and Chim's house feels too long. But he finally gets there, and he knocks, and oh shit he probably should have texted-
Maddie opens the door in her pajamas, confused. "Buck?" she asks, "What are you doing here?"
All Buck can do is fall in Maddie's arms and sob.
————–
Luckily, Jee and Chimney are spending the night at Albert's. Not that he doesn't love them both, but right now he doesn't want Chim or Jee to see him like this.
After Buck had cried in the doorway for probably five minutes, Maddie had firmly ordered him to put on some of Chimney's sweats and get on the couch. Not one to defy his sister, he followed her orders, sitting on the edge of the couch in their living room. Maddie came back over with wine (I would offer you something stronger, but it's late and we both have work tomorrow, Maddie had said), before turning on House Hunters.
They've watched three episodes so far, and have gone through two bottles of wine (which probably defeats the purpose of not having something stronger earlier), and Buck has finally stopped wanting to cry every two seconds. They had just finished an episode that clearly had Maddie riled up (The house isn't even in their budgets, PLUS it's UGLY! she had yelled as if it could change the couple's decision) before Buck could speak.
"Tommy called me Eddie."
Maddie's head snaps towards him at a speed Buck is pretty sure defies physics. "He did what?"
"Yeah," Buck whispered, and fuck tears are flooding his eyes again. Maddie, the best big sister she is, obviously notices and pulls Buck back into her arms. He doesn't start sobbing again, but he does wipe a couple tears on her pajama shirt.
He can tell that the only reason Maddie isn't immediately finding Tommy's current location is because Buck is there, he can tell from the slight shake in her arms and the red in her face he sees when he glances up.
He loves her for it.
"Did he say anything to you?" she asks, and yeah Maddie for sure is pissed.
"Not then. I left too quickly," he explains, and he wishes his voice wasn't as watery. "But he's been texting me. He wants to get coffee tomorrow."
Buck's phone barely stopped vibrating with texts and calls ever since he left Tommy's. He wasn't going to check them, but - and Buck would never admit this out loud, especially to Maddie - he was hoping Tommy had provided the explanation he so desperately wanted.
Instead, it had been a lot of apologies, Tommy claiming he doesn't know why it happened, until finally he had asked Buck to grab coffee before his shift.
"Are you going to go?" Maddie carefully asks him.
"Yeah." Maddie's face at his response shows she clearly doesn't agree with his choice. "I just want to hear him out."
"I can't stop you," she huffs, "but you better break up. You deserve more than that trash." Buck's not sure he agrees.
"We will. I don't think our relationship can be saved." That, he does believe. And it breaks his heart.
"Well, I am always a text away," Maddie pulls back to look Buck in the face, but grabs his hand. Buck softly smiles at her.
"I know. I love you."
—
Ironically, Buck meets Tommy at the coffee shop they made up at after their first date.
When Buck walks over, he sees Tommy sitting at a table in the corner, one far away from other people. Tommy already has a cup of coffee in front of himself, the spot in front of him empty.
It's fine, Buck can order his own damn coffee.
After picking up his coffee from the counter inside, he stays further away and just watches Tommy. He really does not want to have this conversation. What if he just left now?
He knows he can't, or at the very least shouldn't. He's braved worse situations.
Buck walks over, and Tommy looks at him as he approaches. He at least had the decency to look sheepish. As Buck sits down, he notices that Tommy's hair is still done how he always does it, his clothes don't have any wrinkles, and he doesn't have bags under his eyes or the air of fatigue Buck gets when he couldn't sleep well the night before. Like last night.
Buck feels like a terrible person thinking this, but it makes him even more angry.
Buck expectantly looks at Tommy as he takes a sip of his coffee. The oat milk latte at the very least is familiar, and it comforts him a bit. Tommy gets the hint and begins to talk.
"Buck, listen, I'm really sorry for how last night went."
Buck laughs darkly at that, nodding but only because of the ridiculousness of it all. He can't believe he's sitting at a coffee shop drinking an iced milk latte, as his now ex-boyfriend tells him he's sorry he said his best friend's name, Eddie's name, during sex.
They sit in an awkward silence for awhile, before Tommy realizes Buck isn't going to say anything and clears his throat. "Look, okay, I know I probably should explain…that to you."
No fucking shit.
Tommy runs a hand through his hair and tugs a bit, the only sign that he's stressed. "Okay, first of all, I want to preface this by saying you're not going to like what I have to say. But, whatever, I think the worst has already happened." Buck's chest feels tight. "Okay, okay, I'll just rip the bandaid off. I'm sure it's…obvious…at this point, but yeah, I guess I was…interested in Eddie at first."
And Buck isn't necessarily surprised by that, but he still thinks he feels his heart break. He lets out a shaky breath.
"But, when we kissed, I didn't really know how to say no to you. I mean, I figured I was the first guy you kissed, and I didn't want your first go at a guy to be…tainted. But, I mean, you know I think you're adorable Evan. Rejecting you would've made me feel like, I don't know, I kicked ten puppies." Honestly, Buck thinks could've seen Tommy kick ten puppies without caring, but that's beside the point. "And then I thought after that first date it would've been done, and we both could move on with our lives. But god, Evan, you're so stubborn, so then I had just hoped we'd eventually…fizzle out." Tommy cringes, and at least he has the common sense to know that line of thinking is stupid.
Still, each word Tommy says cracks Buck's chest open a little more. And makes him more and more angry.
"So, what, you thought you could just string me along? Let me put in all my time and energy into our relationship while you were just waiting for us to break up?" Buck is honestly proud at himself for not screaming in Tommy's face, or squeezing his coffee cup so hard the coffee explodes everywhere. Instead, his voice is low with a hint of underlying rage.
Tommy rolls his eyes at that. "Don't act like I was your first pick either, Evan."
Buck freezes at that, his eyes widening, before narrowing at Tommy. "What the hell do you mean by that?"
Tommy looks exasperated, which Buck thinks is really stupid, because Tommy is the one saying crazy shit when he's supposed to be apologizing. "Oh come on, Evan. You can't honestly think you got your balls in a twist when Eddie and I were hanging out because you wanted my attention," Tommy bites. "I mean, you literally tried to break the guys ankle because he was spending more time with me than you."
First of all, he was not trying to break Eddie's ankle. Second of all…
Buck processes what Tommy is claiming.
Oh. Fuck. Oh, fuck.
Tommy…isn't wrong. This is quite the revelation.
Tommy laughs darkly, as if he can read Buck's mind and know what Buck just realized. "Well, I wouldn't set your expectations too high. I mean, I took him on helicopter rides, and I couldn't get him. No offense, Evan, but what do you have to offer him that I don't?"
Buck sits there for a minute, both in shock from the revelation and heartbroken from the realization that Tommy isn't wrong. Tommy stands up, wipes imaginary dust off his shirt, at puts a hand on Buck's shoulder. Buck wants to shake his hand right off.
"Well, Evan, it's been fun. Wish this could have ended on a better note. Honestly, I wish you the best.
Tommy then pulls his hand away and walks towards the parking lot. Buck still sits there, his heart sitting in his chest in pieces.
—
Buck knows that Eddie knows that he's acting weird.
The entire shift, Buck hasn't been talking to Eddie at all, hell he's barely able to look at him. It's hard enough that his ex boyfriend wanted his best friend and not him, but realizing he has feelings for that same best friend makes the whole thing more complicated.
So he is ignoring Eddie. Not like Eddie hasn't tried.
Buck knows that once he gets over this initial sting, he's going to feel terrible. He hasn't looked at Eddie's face all day today, but he knows if he did after every one of Buck's rejections he'd see the two lines in the middle of Eddie's eyebrows he gets when he's confused and, sometimes, a little hurt. Eddie has tried to grab his shoulder or his arm a few times, trying to get Buck to just look at him, but Buck just shrugs it off and walks away.
He can tell that Chim and Hen probably know about the breakup, Chim from Maddie and Hen from Chim. They haven't said anything to him outright, but they're teasing him less than usual today. Despite that, he's pretty sure they don't know the details, since they also seem to be confused why Buck is giving Eddie the cold shoulder. But maybe they do. Buck doesn't care.
He's taking inventory of the truck for probably the fifth time this shift when Bobby finally comes up to him. "Everything going okay, Buck?"
Buck sighs and closes his eyes. He loves Bobby, Bobby fills in the hole in his heart that his father left, and because of that Buck knows Bobby can tell something is wrong. But Buck doesn't particularly want to talk about it right now.
"I'm fine," he mumbles, going back to taking inventory. Buck can see Bobby cross his arms in his periphery.
"You sure about that? I think the last time I asked you to take inventory, you hid in the showers for half an hour," Bobby accuses, and Buck knows he's caught.
Buck sighs, eyes darting around the station. If he's going to talk about this, he doesn't want anyone, particuarly Eddie, to hear about how he was simply a filler in his relationship. Attentive as ever, Bobby can sense Buck's nervousness, and jerks his head towards his office. Buck nods, and they go to the solace of Bobby's office.
Bobby closes the door behind the two of them, then walks over to his desk and sits down with his hands clasped on his desk. "So," he starts, "what's going on Buck?"
Buck can't look at Bobby, knowing his eyes are full of concern and understanding. His hands are clasped tightly behind his back, fidgeting nervously. "Tommy and I broke up."
Buck looks up at Bobby from under his lashes to gauge his reaction. Bobby's eyes are sad, and his mouth is pressed in a thin line. "I'm so sorry Buck," he whispers, "what happened? I thought you guys were dong well?"
I thought so too, Buck thinks bitterly, but doesn't say out loud. He shrugs. "I don't know, I guess I had been having some…off feelings, for awhile, but…" Buck starts, but doesn't – can't – finish, the confession feeling too big to say aloud.
"But what?" Bobby implores, inviting Buck to continue. Bobby's look and presence is inviting, and Buck doesn't want to hide from his father figure.
"Tommy called me Eddie."
Bobby's eyebrows shoot up, his surprise clear in his face. Whatever Bobby was expecting, that certainly wasn't it. It's not like Buck expected it to happen either.
"Well, was it an accident?" Bobby asks, and well technically it was, but the reason behind it…not so much. "Tommy and Eddie are pretty good friends, aren't they?"
It's so tragically ironic, Buck wants to laugh until he runs out of oxygen, and honestly that wouldn't be a terrible way to go after this situation. Instead, tears flood into his eyes again, and god damn it he wants to be done crying over this guy that clearly didn't care about him. "Uh," Buck closes his eyes tightly to prevent tears from falling at the bombshell, "It wasn't really the time to be thinking about your friends."
Unfortunately, saying it out loud makes it impossible for Buck to prevent the sobs from coming out of his mouth. He pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying unsuccessfully to push the tears back into his eyes. He hears Bobby stand up and come over to him, and then Bobby's arms come around him and hug Buck tightly to his chest. Buck quickly puts his arms around Bobby, pulling him in even tighter.
"I'm so sorry Buck," Bobby whispers to him, rubbing a hand up and down Buck's back. Buck continues to cry, but having Bobby's comfort slowly mends his heart.
Buck's not ready to confess his other revelation, but hopefully he can in time.
————–
Eddie doesn't know what he did wrong.
It's clear that Buck is upset about something – he's way quieter than usual today, which is how he always get when something is bothering him – but usually he lets Eddie in. Even if he doesn't tell Eddie what's wrong, he'll still sit close to him, work with him, look at him. But today, Buck seems to be avoiding him, which he only does when Eddie is the cause of his pain.
Eddie knows he can be an asshole, but he also can't think of anything he's done. Is he really being that shitty of a friend?
He sees Hen putting a comforting hand on Buck's shoulder before walking over to the ambulance. Eddie has looked to Hen for advice a lot more recently, both for help with Christopher and helping him through…other realizations. He knows Buck has been talking to her a lot more recently too, so maybe she knows what Eddie did?
Before he can talk himself out of it, he walks over to Hen, determination in each step. She looks over to Eddie as he approaches, her eyebrows raising just above the frames of her glasses.
Before Eddie can get a word out, Hen crosses her arms and begins to speak. "Before you ask, no, I don't know why Buck is being all weird with you," she tells him. "All we were talking about was the breakup."
Hold on. "Breakup?"
Hen's eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting Eddie's answer. "You didn't know that him and Tommy broke up?" she questions. "Wow, you must of really fucked up."
Eddie groans. Apparently so, he thinks bitterly, but what did I do?
Hen seems to take pity on him, because her eyes soften. She puts a hand on Eddie's shoulder, much like how she put her hand on Buck's. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but just give Buck time. You know he gets in his head sometimes. He'll come around, I promise," she tells him, then pats Eddie's shoulder and goes into the ambulance. Eddie is left standing outside, dumbfounded.
So, Tommy and Buck broke up. He can't honestly say he's super upset about it, but he is upset that Buck didn't tell him. Did he say something that made Buck think he couldn't tell Eddie about this? Is it because Eddie and Tommy are (were) friends? Did Eddie make his feelings for Buck too clear?
Their next call, a simple car accident with only bumps and bruises for injuries, Eddie notices that Bobby is giving him tasks that separate him from Buck. In fact, Bobby keeps them separated the rest of their shift, which Bobby never does. What the hell is going on?
————–
Eddie has been home for hours, and he can't stop thinking about Buck. And not in the fun way.
He still doesn't understand why Buck didn't tell him about his and Tommy's breakup, or why Buck couldn't look at him all day. He especially doesn't know why Bobby would separate the two of them, given he was all but shoving them together his first day when Buck couldn't even stand him.
Buck was there for Eddie when him and Marisol broke up, and Eddie wasn't even all that torn up about it. He wants to be there for Buck when he's going through this (apparently) hard breakup.
He needs to talk to Buck.
He pulls out his phone and opens Hen's message thread.
Think you can watch Christopher for a bit?
Eddie, I will watch Christopher the whole night if
it gets you and Buck to figure your shit out.
Okay, not the response he was expecting, but Eddie supposes he can be pretty predictable when it comes to Buck.
Eddie knocks on Christopher's door. "Chris?" he asks, opening the door. "Wanna go to the Wilsons?"
Christopher's face lights up. "Yeah!" he exclaims, "Me and Denny can play the new football video game that came out!" Eddie has no idea what game Chris is talking about, but whatever, Hen and Karen can figure it out.
Him and Chris pack a bag, just in case the hang out does become a sleepover, then load in the car and drive to the Wilson house.
————–
Hen had never been so happy to receive a text from Eddie in her life.
Right after Eddie leaves Christopher and Hen closes the door behind him, Karen comes out with two glasses and a bottle of wine, her eyebrows raising suggestively. Hen laughs as Karen pours them both a glass of wine, handing Hen's to her.
"So," Karen says, looking to her wife. "can we officially say that wine night worked?"
Hen and Karen smirk at each other, clinking their glasses together.
"God, I hope so."
————–
Buck is wallowing in his own misery. He knows it's not healthy, but given the circumstances, he thinks its understandable.
Athena had texted him earlier. Bobby told me about your breakup, I'm sorry Buckaroo, she had texted him. I don't offer it often, but if someone teaches Tommy a lesson, I'll be more than happy to turn a blind eye. The text had made Buck smile.
However, the feeling of love and happiness the text had given him didn't last long. Buck can't stop the thoughts you're not good enough and how could Eddie ever love you if your own boyfriend couldn't? Buck knows Eddie loves him to some degree – Eddie wouldn't just put anyone in his will, Buck knows that – but maybe Tommy was right, and Eddie could never love him back in the way Buck wants him to.
The racing thoughts in his head are cut by a knock on the door. Buck groans. It's probably Maddie checking in on him, again. She's been texting him all day, asking if he wants her to come over, and he's sure Chimney told her how he had been acting all day so now she's not going to give him the option.
He goes down to the door to let Maddie know he's not in the mood. "Maddie–"
It's not Maddie at the door.
Eddie looks at him, his arms crossed and a determined look on his face. It's the first time Buck's looked at him all day, and even though he should look away he can't stop looking at his hair, his brown eyes, his chiseled jaw covered in stubble, and oh his shoulders-
"We need to talk." Oh. Right.
Buck finally tears his eyes away from Eddie and opens the door wider to let Eddie in. He closes the door, then the two just stand there in silence. Buck can't look anywhere but his feet, but he sees one of Eddie's feet tap on the floor impatiently.
"Are you mad at me or something?" Eddie asks, and even though his voice isn't shaking like Buck's does when he's upset, he can tell Eddie is worried. For both Buck and himself.
Buck knows he can't lie to Eddie. He sighs, "No."
"Then what's going on Buck?" Eddie asks desperately, bending down and forcing Buck to make eye contact with him. And oh, Eddie looks so sad and scared Buck feels a fist grip tightly around his heart. Buck can't let himself be the reason Eddie looks like that.
He gestures his hand towards the couch in invitation. Eddie walks over to the couch while Buck grabs beers for the two of them. He's going to need it if he's going to get thought this conversation.
When he gets back over to the couch, he sits on the opposite side from Eddie and hands Eddie his beer before opening his own. He takes a giant gulp, Eddie takes a small sip.
"I know about the breakup," Eddie confesses, "Hen told me."
Buck sighs. Of course Eddie was bound to find out. "Yeah."
"But you didn't tell me," Eddie presses, "and you've been weird with me all day. Is it because I'm friends with Tommy? Because you should know I would pick you over Tommy any day." And oh, it's everything he wants to hear, but Eddie isn't actually saying what Buck wants him to say, and it hurts.
He could take the out Eddie gave him, but he can't. "It's not that," Buck admits, his voice small and taking another sip of his beer. And all of the sudden, Eddie is moving closer, and he's putting his hand on Buck's shoulder, and Buck can't help but look up at him.
"Then what did I do?" Eddie asks desperately, "You're going through a breakup, and you didn't tell me, I still want to help you through it but you won't let me in. All day, I've been trying to think of what I could've done that hurt you so bad, but I can't. And I want, no need to make this right, because, Buck," he pauses, "Evan, you're important to me," Eddie urges, and Buck's heart is simultaneously filling and healing and breaking. Buck turns back forward and pushes the palms of his hands into his eyes to ground him and push his tears back.
Buck's feeling so much at once, he knows it's inevitable he's going to break.
"Tommy didn't want me," Buck looks back at Eddie and finally confesses, "he wanted you."
He feel's Eddie's grip on his shoulder tighten, sees Eddie's eyes widen and his jaw slack in shock. "What?" he questions softly.
Buck can't help the tears that build up in his eyes. "Yeah," he chuckles bitterly. "I had gone over the other night, and we were…you know. It was good at first, but then he said your name," Buck knows he's admitting everything, but now that he's started he can't stop. "We met up the next day, and he confessed everything. How he was trying to woo you over first, but it wasn't working, and I was there and eager so he…settled, I guess."
Eddie's still frozen in shock, processing everything he just heard. If Eddie thought processing the fact Tommy was even gay was difficult, this is definitely…a lot.
"I'm sorry Buck," Eddie finally says, apologizing only for simply existing, at least in Buck's mind. He can't think of anything else Eddie could possibly be sorry for. "I had no idea."
"Not your fault," Buck mutters, "I wouldn't expect you to." And, goddamnit, Buck's crying again. He doesn't want to cry about this anymore, especially in front of Eddie.
"Buck, look at me," Eddie demands softly, moving to crouch in front of Buck and looking him in the eyes. His brown eyes are soft and comforting, and Buck could look into them forever if he could.
"You are worth so much more than someone's second choice, Buck, especially behind me," Eddie urges, the words searing Buck's heart. "You are one of the best people I know, one of the most important people in my life, hell I gave you everything I have, my son, Buck." Eddie's eyes are so intense it burns Buck from his head all the way down to his toes. "Which makes me feel all the more worse, because I never, ever want the reason you feel bad about yourself to be because of me. Never."
Buck wants to start sobbing and never stop. It's like Eddie can read his mind and know exactly what Buck wants to hear, and yet it's not enough. Because Buck is selfish, and he wants more. But Buck can push that part of him down, the part that loves Eddie more than Eddie will ever understand, and Eddie's words can be enough.
"I'm sorry," Buck apologizes, "for being so weird with you today. I didn't mean to make you upset."
Eddie chuckles, "Don't worry about it Buck," and Eddie's all soft like he is with Chris, and it feels like a comforting blanket. He claps Buck on the back before standing up and walking back to the opposite side of the couch, and Buck wants to beg him to come back, but he's still got some self control.
"Now that we've got that out of the way," Eddie smirks, taking a swig from his beer, "wanna watch Love and Other Awkward Situations? I heard it just got added to Netflix."
————–
The credits are rolling, and Buck and Eddie can't stop giggling. The movie was so stupid, but it was just what Buck needed. Though the few beers they've both had didn't hurt either.
They're joking about how the male love interest accidentally asked out the female love interest's mom when the laughter slowly dies down and they're finishing their beers in a comfortable silence.
Buck doesn't know if it's the silence, his own need for validation, or the alcohol that makes him ask Eddie "Did you mean everything you said earlier?"
Eddie looks at him, his gaze piercing when he says "Of course," Eddie emphasizes, "I know I don't say it often enough, but I should. Like I said, you're pretty much the best person I've ever known. You deserve to hear it sometimes." Buck's eyes fill with tears, but he doesn't think they're the sad kind.
Eddie adds, "And, for the record, Tommy clearly never deserved you anyway."
Buck wouldn't normally have the courage to push further, to ask for more, but the alcohol is making his blood buzz, "Then who does?" Buck asks softly, "Deserve me?"
Eddie locks eyes with Buck, his gaze intense, and they sit like that, just looking at each other, for awhile. Buck briefly regrets even asking. He knows he's fishing for a response but–
Eddie bites.
Suddenly, Eddie is closing the distance between them on the couch, grabbing Buck's face with both his hands like he's something precious, pulling Buck towards him–
Buck thought he liked kissing Tommy. This is so much better.
Their lips lock together, Buck's bottom lip slotted between both of Eddie's, and it's perfect. It's intense, but not overwhelming, and then their lips start moving against one another's and Buck can't get enough.
"I don't even know if I do sometimes," Eddie admits in between kisses, and oh god his voice is so low and sexy Buck doesn't know how he was ever able to hold back before, "but I'm willing to try. You're worth it."
Eddie's words burn a brand on Buck's heart and he slams their lips back together, hoping that his lips can convey just how much Eddie's words mean to him. How much Eddie means to him.
After some time, they finally pull away, and Buck smile splits his face in half. "You know," Buck teases, "Tommy was the one who made me realize how much I love you." And then he realizes what he said, and he slams his mouth shut and pulls away a bit. "But you know, if you're not sure, or you need time, or–"
Eddie laughs and kisses Buck again, both to stop him from spiraling and to say he's all in. "Buck, I would not have kissed you if I wasn't sure. Or needed time. Or wanted to be a dick about it."
Buck laughs too, and he's so happy he can't contain it, but he'll settle for kissing Eddie for now.
"For the record," Eddie still holds Buck's face as he pulls away, "you're my first choice. You'll always be my first choice, Buck. And I love you too."
It's all perfect. They're happy. And Buck didn't need a fucking helicopter.