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“Are you sure this will work?”
“Of course it will Johnny. This is the best plan. Nobody has ever thought of a plan like this. This is the mother of all plans. This will go down in the history books for how good this plan is. Sleepy Joe will be out of that house soon. America will rally around a true leader again.”
Johnny stared down nervously at the weapon of the former president’s choice. To shoot from that distance and only graze an ear? How was he supposed to do that? He was only a stuntman in Donald’s favorite war movies; he’d never actually fully trained with guns before.
“But sir…”
“Johnny I’m gonna look like a hero with this plan. This plan is amazing Johnny it’s the best!” Trump stated with a smile large enough that his skin began to noticeably crease in the corners.
Johnny couldn’t even finish his sentence before Trump left giddily with his entourage of security to make his way to the center podium.
Johnny took position in the sea of red white blue. The M.A.G.A. chants were loud but his heartbeat was louder.
He raised the nozzle of the gun to take aim. His palms were soaked, his stomach was churning. The spaghetti dinner he had last night still not sitting well.
He looked down the scope and saw his bright tangerine target. A perfect unmissable ginormous bullseye of a head. The plan to make his former president the ultimate martyr seemed too easy. It really was all coming together just as the Omaha steak god said it would.
As Johnny went to squeeze the trigger the shiny neon glow from the fake tanner of the great one’s skin bounced off the sun’s rays to create the harshest glare Johnny had ever experienced!
He heard the bullet release from the nozzle as his eyes winced shut in agony.
His eyes were still closed as he began to hear gasps and screams emanate from the crowd.
Johnny managed to blink himself back to reality to see that the bullet did in fact hit his target…
…but not as planned.
Donald J Trump was lying in a pool of his own blood. His head had snapped so far back from the impact of the shot that his toupee had come clean off.
Johnny stared in horror as bodies came jumping all around to protect the man beloved by everyone in attendance. He knew it was too late though.
This was one orange he wished he never squeezed.
fin