Work Text:
They met by circumstances of life.
Many would say that she was the kind of girl who no one really noticed at first. She’d sit there quietly without a sound and if you said ‘hi’ you’d be lucky to get a smile and a nod. But if you looked closely, you would notice her fingers tapping on the desk, playing an imaginary piano. She usually walked with her head down and her headphones on, oblivious to what was going on around her. In fact, she didn’t mind that no one noticed her. So, the first time Momo saw her, she wasn't really doing it.
Momo was leaning against one of the sides of the subway waiting for people to finish getting on and off the wagon. Her friends were talking about something that Momo clearly wasn't paying attention to. It had been a hard day at work, and she wasn't in the mood to be listening to the same old gossip.
From her peripheral view, she saw a girl about her age pass by, with her eyes on her phone and her headphones. Something in Momo made her stop looking at the ceiling and follow the girl with her eyes. She heard the subway announcing the movement and the closing of the doors.
Momo frowned at her heart giving a little sigh, as if to say 'oh, there you are. I was looking for you'. But before she could process that train of thought and feeling of familiarity in her body, Jeongyeon called her name, bringing her back to her friends' conversation. A couple of comments later, they had arrived at the station where they were to get off, before doing so, Momo took one last look at the girl on the subway, she was still with her eyes on her phone.
She decided to let that feeling slide and believe it was her exhaustion from the day.
After a quick goodbye with her friends, Momo walks hugging herself in the cold of the night thinking about the hot bath she is about to take before going to bed to rest from the stress of the day.
Arriving home, she was greeted, as always, by two pairs of tails wagging back and forth in excitement accompanied by barking. Momo smiled and bent down to pet her little puppies, letting them sit on her legs while she took off her shoes.
She set her bag on the kitchen counter, which was also her dining table, and pulled a coke from the refrigerator. She pulled her phone out of her back jeans pouch and saw a message from Nayeon, as if they hadn't been together just a couple of minutes ago.
[Nayeon-unnie]
tomorrow, 6pm, usual bar
Momo frowned, it wasn't normal, well, that normal, for Nayeon to be meeting them for drinks on a Wednesday. However, a few seconds later came a second message.
[Nayeon-unnie]
reason: Tzuyu's pre-birthday
second reason in case that's not enough, which it should be: why not?? ;)
It was true, the group's baby's birthday was that same Friday and they had agreed to celebrate her all week. Momo responded with a simple ‘see you there’ before leaving her phone in her room and going into the bathroom to wash off the day.
_______________
For Momo, one —perhaps the most important— advantage of working as a translator is that you can do it from home. That allowed her to be snuggled up with her puppies and in her pajamas while watching the same movie over and over again, doing the dialogues and trying to match them to the actors' mouth movements.
Another advantage, which would count as a disadvantage at the same time, is that she enjoyed what she was doing so much that she could be at it for hours without noticing how tired she was or how long she had been working. For that very reason, she jumped when Nayeon started spamming her phone with messages.
[Nayeon-unnie]
it's 4 o'clock
I know it was your home office day
so, you'd better be getting ready for later
that you're not still on the computer
and that you've had something to eat!
don't make me come and get you out with a kick in your ass
you better be there on time.
you know tzu doesn't like it when we're late
Shit. Momo jumped up from her bed, but not before saving her advance, so she could eat something before starting to see what she was going to wear because she knew that Nayeon was a woman of her word and capable of kicking her ass just to be on time.
[Momo-yah]
fyi
i was already getting ready without the need of your threats
see you later!
In the face of any predictions from her friends, especially Jihyo, Momo was entering the bar more than a couple of minutes before the arranged time. Before entering, she greeted the guy who was always at the door of the place, who told her that their usual table was ready for them. She wasn't surprised to see Jihyo and Nayeon already seated and chatting.
"Hey, I thought Jeong would come with you." She said as she sat across from Jihyo.
"She had to attend to some unexpected emergency stuff at work, but it shouldn't be much longer before she gets here."
"She shouldn't be long because she threatened to leave her without sex and Nintendo for a week if she was late." Jihyo added.
Nayeon clicked her tongue and punched Jihyo on the arm, who laughed along with Momo.
"Oh," Momo turned to look at the girl at the bar raising a hand to her, who saw her back and nodded. The good thing about being a regular is that people already know your drinks. "So, it's ‘threat day’ from Nayeon."
The three of them continued the conversation they were having when Momo arrived while waiting for the other two, who didn't take more than twenty minutes to arrive. And although Momo saw them almost every day at work, she never tired of spending time with her friends.
They ordered round after round of beer, sang happy birthday to Tzuyu even against her will, because they like to embarrass the baby of the group and because they like to make noise wherever they are. When the waiters told them that the next round of beers was on the house, they went back to toasting and celebrating because the embarrassment had been worth it.
The four older girls looked at Tzuyu with the deepest affection that soul sisters can give, and it was not only that they felt the need to protect her because she was the youngest, but Tzuyu had the power to make anyone fall at her feet just by looking at her, and those four were no exception.
"Tzu, how does it feel to have a group of friends older than you?" Nayeon dropped her head on Tzuyu's shoulder.
"We're not even that much older?" Jihyo gave her a side eye.
"It feels like I'm with my mom and her friends."
Momo had to cover her mouth to keep from spitting out the drink she had just taken, and Nayeon with an ‘offended’ look on her face in play, asked:
"And which of us is your mother figure?" Before Tzuyu could answer, Nayeon continued, "does that means you have mommy issues?"
Tzuyu frowned before raising one of her eyebrows and ignoring the elder's last question.
"Jeongyeon-unnie or Jihyo-unnie."
"And why not me?"
Nayeon separated from her shoulder and turned to look at Tzuyu with an expression of genuine hurt.
"Unnie, even though you're the oldest of all, most of the time you behave like the youngest. I can't have such a childish mother figure."
The other three burst out laughing at Tzuyu's reply and Nayeon's reaction. While Jihyo and Jeongyeon, and Tzuyu underneath as well, continued to laugh at Nayeon's whining, Momo watched out the window as she took a sip of her beer.
The street was lightly crowded, so she didn't pay much attention to the few people on the sidewalk. Jeongyeon had mentioned several times that they should go and try the desserts at the café from across the street, a girl from her work area had told her that they were good, but they always ended up at the bar as usual.
The storefront was made of stone and had large windows. At the top of the café, they had adapted it to have a terrace where people could enjoy the good weather in the afternoon. The place did have an air of comfort and where they could enjoy one of their usual afternoons when they met, before returning the look with her friends, Momo decided that she would insist them to visit it.
She took a last look at the place and the people on the terrace and lowered her gaze to Jihyo, only to raise it again a second later and see the people at the table near the railing of the place across the street.
She frowned and tried to focus her sight a little, trying to find what it was that made her want to look back and the reason why her heart was starting to beat faster and harder. She scanned carefully and quickly each of the people at the table, as if from one second to the next what she was looking for would disappear. They seemed to be girls about her own age, nothing out of the ordinary.
Then she saw her. The girl from the subway.
Suddenly, the sounds of the bar faded into the background and all she could hear was her breathing along with her heartbeat. She blinked again, and again, verifying that her eyes weren't giving her a hard time. Her heart fluttered again before calming down.
Momo thought about what would be the probability that this girl was having coffee with her friends right in the place in front of where she was with her own friends, and that besides, they were sitting at parallel tables. At that moment, the girl straightened up, and then Momo understood that she was not there with her friends, but that the girl actually worked there. She watched as she apologized to the girls at the table with a smile and disappeared inside the cafeteria.
Momo stared at where the girl had gone into the cafeteria for a couple of seconds before returning her gaze to her friends. She knew that her attention was no longer on her table, but on the girl across the street, and she couldn't help but feel the anxiety, to go there and see the girl again, invade her body.
As much as she tried to pay attention to her friends' chatter for the rest of the night, Momo couldn't help but keep up with the bouncing in her leg and that impatient feeling in her chest. However, by the time they all left the bar, it was the middle of the night, all five of them were drunk, and the girl from the subway had been forgotten.
_______________
It was the excruciating headache that made Momo wake up the next day. With a grunt she moved to check the time on her phone.
"Ah, shit."
She dropped her phone on the bureau and covered her face with both hands. She had a fair hour counted to look more human than zombie and get to work on time. She stood up from her bed and was thankful her puppies were still asleep because at that moment she wasn't around to put up with their barking. She left their food in their bowls, put her coffee to brew and while that was getting ready, she took a bath with ice water to wake up.
The morning was cold, so she decided to put on boots with double socks, her jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and her coat. She poured her coffee into a flask and without wasting any more of her morning, she left the apartment.
At that time of the morning, the subway was usually still empty enough to find a place to sit. She usually preferred to stand because she could get out of the wagon quickly, but in the condition she had woken up in that morning, she needed to sit down. As she got off at her station and began to walk through the streets, she passed the bar she had been to the night before, and that's when she remembered the discovery she had made.
Momo stopped in her tracks and without thinking twice about whether she was late for work, she walked in the direction of the coffee shop and stood looking inside from the street, she could see a little movement inside. She traveled her gaze back and forth in search of the subway girl, but after a while of looking and not finding her, she gave up, believing that maybe she only worked late shifts.
When she arrived at her office, she found that her friends were in the same state as she was. Well, all except Jihyo, who always managed to have the energy of a ten-year-old with hyperactivity. After a quick hello, Momo sat down in her seat, put on her headphones, and mentally prepared herself for the workload in front of her.
During the first few hours of work, Momo's thoughts did not wander to the cafeteria, but it wasn't until after lunch when it was her turn to work together with Jeongyeon in the sound area that she allowed herself to rest a bit and think about something other than the project they had to finish in the week.
She thought that maybe she would spend her home office days in the cafeteria, that some other day she could stop by for something at lunchtime, or maybe on her way back to her apartment. In time, she could find out the subway girl's work schedule, maybe talk to her and calm the erratic beats of her heart at the thought of talking to her.
So, that's what she did.
When it was time to leave, it didn't take her long to convince Jeongyeon to go to the coffee shop they had talked about yesterday, with the excuse of wanting a piece of sweet bread and the chance to stop postponing going. Jeongyeon texted Nayeon, who along with Jihyo had been stuck in a meeting that had run longer than planned, to let her know that she would be there with Momo.
And Momo seemed to be engaged in the conversation about the second season of the House of the Dragon that was about to premiere, but as soon as they entered the place, she let Jeongyeon lead the conversation so she could put a little more attention on looking for the subway girl.
"I was thinking of having a viewing party for the episode."
The place smelled delicious, the mix of aromas between the freshly brewed coffee, a hint of cinnamon and vanilla, along with the baked bread, made Momo's stomach growl.
"Nayeon is not going to watch it with you?" she asked as she looked at the menu.
"She had already been invited to dinner by one of her friends." Momo felt Jeongyeon's gaze on her, she returned her sidelong glance. "Besides, she told me why did she stay if one, she hasn't watched the first season; and two, to watch me drool and gay panic over Rhaenyra? She passed."
Momo laughed loudly.
"You couldn't defend yourself against her argument."
"It's not my fault!"
"No, you're right, it's not your fault you're that gay."
“Yah!” Jeongyeon nudged her arm, to which Momo laughed again.
They placed their orders —and Nayeon's and Jihyo's too, who had said they'd catch up with them there— at the bar and while Jeongyeon went to set aside just one table that was becoming vacant, Momo stayed behind to wait for her coffees and the bread she'd ordered to come out. Or at least that's what she had told the older girl, because she was actually paying more attention to the girls in the small kitchen and the ones at the coffee machines.
She let out a small sigh of resignation when she didn't recognize any of the girls on call. When one of them passed her the drinks in a to-go tray and the bread in a paper bag, Momo smiled and thanked her, to which the girl replied with another smile and wishing her a good day.
As she turned to go to the table with Jeongyeon, she heard the squeaking of someone's shoes stopping in their tracks. When Momo looked up, she found the girl from the subway, whom she would have collided with and spilled the coffees on if the girl hadn't reacted and stopped in time.
The air got stuck in her lungs, her chest began to ache from the erratic heartbeat that more than from the shock of almost bumping into the girl, from having her in front of her. She tried to pull it together by gasping some air through her mouth, to get out of the shock and gain some courage to at least apologize. But before she could react, the girl smiled at her and Momo knew there was no turning back, it was a hopeless case.
"I'm sorry" said the girl with her smile on her face and the sweetest voice Momo had ever heard.
It was easy, she just had to say something like ‘no, it was me who didn't notice’, or maybe a ‘sorry, good day’. She didn't have to say anything else, it didn't have to be something clever or attention-grabbing, but it was Momo, and it was the girl, and so up front and so close, well, Momo doesn't work that well in front of pretty girls.
And when she saw the girl’s eyes, those eyes, she knew she was a goner. Then, Momo opened her mouth to say something and before Momo could stop them, the words came out.
“Were you looking for me too?” her voice came out hoarse, having to clear her throat afterwards.
“Excuse me? I think you're confusing me with someone else.” The girl took a step back as covertly as she could.
Now there was no turning back. So, without much thought before speaking, Momo continued:
“I don't think so, you are the girl from the subway.”
“I... there are a lot of people on the subway” she frowned. “I'm not the only one with black hair and Japanese in town.”
“You're right, look at me, also Japanese and with black hair– well oreo type, but I get your point.” Momo narrowed her eyes slightly, analyzing the girl's face. “Still, I'm 95% sure you're her.”
“Well, and I'm going with that other 5%. And if you'll excuse me, I must get back to work.”
“Wait!” Momo raised one of her arms towards the girl. “Just, take a moment and look at me. But truly look at me.”
With half her body turned in the direction of the drink bar, the girl turned her head to look at her. Momo stayed in the same position as the girl watched her from head to toe; she saw the curiosity reflected in her gaze.
The girl saw Momo's clothes, her tennis shoes, her hands, and arms. When she stopped her gaze at the level of her chest, Momo thought she was looking at her breasts —which she was not against—, but then she noticed the subtle and fleeting frown of the girl. Momo lowered her same gaze to her own chest, trying to follow the girl's gaze. She saw her small mole near her armpit.
Her gaze kept moving up Momo, past her hair, past her neck, lips, nose, and cheeks, until at last they brought their gazes together. The girl's eyes now had a different gleam in them. Momo felt as if the girl could see right through her, as if the other could also feel her heart beating with such heaviness.
They were in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by the noise of people and music, the smell of coffee and food; and yet, Momo felt a certain intimacy in how their breaths had synchronized and slowed.
Her heart fluttered again, and this time, Momo couldn't help but let out the sigh accompanied by the same question, now in a whisper.
“Were you looking for me too?”
The feeling inside Momo's chest was a familiar but long-forgotten name. As if her heart had recognized the heart of the girl in front of her.
“I– I don't know” the girl grimaced before pulling a pen from her apron and walking back to Momo, taking her hand. “Here, tomorrow's my day off, call me and we'll meet up.”
Momo watched the girl's profile as she wrote on her hand. When she pulled away, the feel of her touch lingered on hers, she saw her number and her name. Mina. When she looked up again, she caught Mina still looking at her own hand, as if she too had felt that familiar warmth she kept feeling on her palm.
When Mina returned her gaze to her face, Momo watched as she turned her head slightly, keeping her eyes fixed on her eyes.
“So, I'll see you later, Momo.”
That was how she thought that at that moment, her heart would stop and die because there was no human way that girl would know her name. And it seemed that her surprise was reflected even more on her face, because Mina smiled and before she spoke, she let out a light laugh.
“Just kidding, from this close I can smell your peach scent. You said you are Japanese, peaches equal Momo.”
“I'm not joking when I tell you that my name really is Momo.”
Mina's expression went from playful to serious in the time it took her to blink.
“That can't be a coincidence.”
“The scent and my name?” Momo frowned and tilted her head slightly. “Well, no, I bought a peach-scented perfume on purpose.”
Mina smiled.
“That wasn't what I meant, but nice to meet you, Momo.”
Before she had time to say goodbye as well, Mina had turned around to disappear behind the kitchen door.
When Momo turned around to catch up with Jeongyeon, her friend was watching her with a smirk, Momo knew it meant she had seen her interaction with Mina. She rolled her eyes and braced herself for the older girl's comment.
"Yeah, that was even gayer than me drooling over Rhaenyra."
But Momo's head was busier thinking about Mina's name and the sensation of her hands touching that kept tingling over her palm, than thinking of a comeback for Jeongyeon. Besides, she was right.
_______________
Needless to say, Momo could hardly sleep that night because of the impatience to dial Mina and meet. Now there she was, pacing back and forth throughout her apartment with Mina's number on her phone ready to be dialed.
"Come on Momo, we can do it, don't be a useless lesbian."
She exhaled through her mouth before sitting down on her couch and calling. One of her puppies climbed onto the couch with her, and with her free hand, she began to pet it.
"Tell me, Dobby, how does it feel to live stress-free from talking to a pretty girl?"
"Thanks, peaches."
"Eh–" Momo had been more attentive to her puppy than to the fact that the line had stopped ringing because Mina had answered the phone. “Hi, Mina.”
"Hi" she heard Mina drawl out a nasal chuckle.
And in the steadiest voice she could muster at the time, Momo continued.
"So, I was calling you to take your word for seeing you today."
"We can meet somewhere in the middle."
"I was going to recommend a Korean BBQ I like to go to with my friends, but if you'd rather we can–"
"Sounds good to me." Mina interrupted her. "I don't know of any good Korean food places around here."
"Well, then I'll text you the location of the place."
"Yeah okey, is 5 p.m. okay with you?"
"Sounds good by me. I'll see you there?"
"Yeah, I'll see you there then, Momo."
Before Momo could say goodbye and hang up, Mina stepped forward saying 'by the way, you're prettier' and hanging up the call. She stood with the phone pressed to her ear for a moment as she processed what had just happened and feeling the blush settle on her cheeks.
It was the barking of her puppies that made Momo react.
"Boo, let Dobby eat in peace!"
She checked the time and saw that she had a couple of hours before she had to leave and be on time, but to be on the safe side, she set an alarm an hour before she had to leave and another half hour before.
Momo grabbed her computer to get a little ahead of her work while she ate breakfast. However, by the time she had finished eating, she had forgotten that she was supposed to be working and had not made the transcript of the hour she had already watched of the movie. She laughed at her little mistake and started the document from the time the movie stated, making a reminder on her phone to do the transcript for the past hour.
After finishing her work, she took her dogs for a walk, they had been in the apartment all week and Momo didn't think it was fair that she went out and they stayed in. She realized that even though the afternoon seemed to be warm, the clouds looked gray in the distance, and she would most likely have to go out with a coat when she went to meet Mina.
She stayed in the park for a while as she let her puppies play and run around for a while. She thought about how she had a while without going out by herself and enjoying the breeze. And that maybe the old people had discovered the secret of peace and quiet through sitting and watching the sunset from their backyards, because at that moment, Momo thought, she hadn't had such a quiet moment in her whole week.
By the time Momo returned to the apartment, the first alarm she had set went off and the nerves returned to her mind. She took a quick shower to calm down and wash off the little dirt from being out with her dogs.
The second alarm went off as she was finishing fixing her hair. She left her things lying around in the bathroom, poured her puppies some food, grabbed her coat and keys, and headed out to the restaurant.
Maybe it was nerves, maybe she wanted to make a good first impression, but Momo for the first time, without having to be threatened by anyone, had arrived before the agreed time. Only a couple of minutes, but she was sure that her friends would not believe her if she told them.
Momo went inside to set the table in her name, telling the boy that she would wait for the other person outside anyway. She leaned against the wall at the entrance of the restaurant and looked up at the sky, trying to breathe in as much air as possible to calm a little of the pressure that was beginning to form in her chest.
Up until that moment, Momo had done her best not to think about her feelings about that evening, and about spending it with Mina, but now that the hour was upon her, Momo couldn't help but keep her emotions in mind.
"Peaches" she heard to her left. "Ready?"
Momo nodded and let Mina lead the way. When the boy saw Momo enter again, he grabbed the menus and directed them to the table he already had ready for them.
"So, here we are" said Momo once they were both seated.
"That's right."
"Hi."
"Hi."
Momo wasn't quite sure how to start some kind of conversation. Mina's gaze was intense, but not defiant; more like expectant to hear what Momo had to say. But even she didn't know what she wanted or needed to say.
She opened her mouth to see what was coming out of it, when the boy came back to find out if they wanted to order something to drink, Mina asked for just water for the moment, she asked for a beer at once.
When she returned her gaze to Mina, already looking at the menu, she grimaced at your failed attempt at conversation and grabbed her own menu.
"Should we order something to share?" Mina asked without looking up.
Momo smiled, the more food the better; not to mention that sharing food was part of her love languages.
"I'm open to options." she set her menu aside and focused her attention on Mina. "We can each order something we're craving and then split it up and taste both. Or we can order something to the center for both."
"Maybe something for the center and a couple of extras?"
"Sweet, what were you thinking?"
"That maybe... maybe we should order your favorite because there are so many choices and I'm indecisive."
Momo nodded and with her eyes looked for the one who always used to be her waitress. When she found her, she made a sign to get her attention and then a couple more signs that Mina didn't understand, but apparently the other girl did because she nodded smiling before going into the kitchen.
They start by making some casual small talk. About how Momo had come there for her master's degree and had ended up deciding to stay instead of going back to Kioto. On how she had come to her job and had met her friends and how there were days when she missed her parents and sister a lot.
Mina thought a bit about her family situation when she realized that Momo's was what she had dreamed of all her childhood.
In another universe, Mina never had to leave her home country, and it was her safe place. In this one, she will find her safe place surrounded by nine girls, with different backgrounds, but with the same desire of belonging.
By the time the food was on the table, they both felt more comfortable with each other, and the awkwardness and politeness with which they treated each other had become friendlier, and Momo already felt more confident to talk about why they were there.
"So, Mina, I think I have a confession to make." Mina nodded smiling and with the mouthful. “I– um– since I met you, I have these strange new feelings that I can't overlook.”
"Feelings?"
Even with Mina's taken aback expression, Momo nodded, still with certainty in her body.
"I feel like something in me has known you for a long time."
“So, you think we have met before in some kind of reincarnation?”
Momo nodded with the bite still in her cheeks.
"I'm sure we haven't met before." She tilted her head as she rested her crossed arms on the table, leaning her body towards Mina. "But I also know I recognize you from somewhere. But do you believe in reincarnation or past lives?"
Momo believes that a part of her had been secretly yearning for Mina all her life. If in fact the past lives are real, she believes that they were lovers then, and that the only thing that ever separated them was death. In some parallel universe, they will also meet because their souls are intertwined searching for that missing piece.
In this life, maybe Momo asked for Mina that time when she was a little girl with even more hopes and dreams asking a shooting star for someone to play princesses with. Or on her sixteenth birthday when she wished for her true love. Maybe when she was twenty-two and crying for the longing for someone's companionship.
Now she was in front of Mina, and it seemed as if after all those years of searching for her, the universe had finally put her on the way home.
"Not really, but one of the girls I live with is into all that esoteric shit. One of the first nights when I arrived, we were my best friend Sana, her girlfriend Dahyun and I talking about our purposes and what we wanted out of our lives, when this girl, Chaeyoung, came in."
"And did she tell you anything about me?"
"Not about you, obviously, but that I was going to meet someone and that I would almost instantly feel like, a certain familiarity in meeting them." Mina shrugged her shoulders. "She told me something like that we would have a very strong connection and even from other times."
Momo raised an eyebrow expectantly. If there is no red thread binding them together, then maybe fate has no business telling her who to love. Momo will grab a string and do it herself, loop it twice around their wrists and tie it with a knot for good measure. Part of her has been Mina's since that day she saw her on the subway.
"So?" She smiled, and it was all it took for Momo to make Mina realize that the whole universe had conspired in their favor to bring them together once again.
"Maybe we did meet in other lives; maybe we did love each other in them, maybe it never happened or has happened." Momo watched as Mina stood thoughtfully looking down the street outside the coffee shop. When she turned her gaze back to her, Mina's expression reflected seriousness and certainty. "So, I decide on this one to do it too."
"Do what?"
"To know you, and maybe love you too." Mina sighed. "I choose to believe you in that we know each other from past lives because I can find no other explanation to justify the way I feel standing next to you without knowing you. I choose to believe that it was fate that brought us back together, but loving you in this life, that I choose to do on my own."
Mina, contrary to Momo, thinks that no one in this world is made for another person, but that each person is made for themselves, that love all about choices. No one is 'perfect' for us, and people need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was ‘made for us’ because it isn't true. No one is made for us, besides ourselves, other people belong to themselves.
But if you want it to work with someone else, you have to work at it, hard. You must be understanding, compassionate, know that it's not just about communication but about comprehending other people's reasons and motives and the place from which they say things.
And that it is a choice; to love another person constantly. With their flaws, with those acts of theirs that make you go out of your mind, with their sadness, anger, and frustrations. Every day that passes, you choose to keep on loving them.
And Mina is not sure if Momo will continue to choose her for the rest of her life, but, that night, Mina chooses Momo.
"... we should–"
Momo’s phone screen lit up at Jihyo's message, telling her that the reservation was at 10 o'clock and if she wanted her to pick her up or meet them at the club.
"Fuck."
"We should… fuck?"
"Eh? What?"
"We were just talking about what we would do for the week" Mina looked at her confused. "To get to know each other more."
"I meant–"
"I guess... yeah that way we could get to know each other better."
"No!" Mina raised her eyebrows even more surprised at Momo's reaction, after all she was the one who had proposed it. Momo shook her head with her eyes closed. "I mean, I didn't mean that ‘we shouldn't fuck' it's not something I hadn't thought of."
"Oh, so in the hours we've known each other you had already given it some thought?" Mina raised an eyebrow suggestively.
"No, I swear it's all getting out of context."
"I mean, I'm not against it."
That was what made Momo stop talking to try and clarify the conversation they were having.
"Really?"
"Yeah, you're hot, I'm hot, I think we'd be a good match in the bedroom."
Momo's throat went dry from one moment to the next at the insinuation Mina was making to her. Well, actually Mina thought she had, but it was the fact that she didn't think it was out of place the accidental proposition.
Momo cleared her throat and took a sip from her glass.
"Good to know we're on the same page" she grabbed her phone and showed Mina the messages. "But I was actually cursing because I forgot the time and my friends are waiting for me to go to a club."
"Oh, well, the proposal still stands for another day."
"Do you wanna come?"
"As in...."
"To the club!" Momo took a wavy breath feeling the blush on her cheeks as it dawned on her what Mina might have understood. "Come with me to the club. It's one of my friend's birthday, we're going to dance and drink, it's going to be a good night."
"Dancing and drinks? I'm in."
Mina winked at Momo, who asked for the bill. They argued a bit over who would pay the check, but since it was Momo who had invited Mina, she would pay, the next one would be the youngest's turn.
Momo texted her friends telling them that she would catch up with them at the club together with Mina, to which Jeongyeon replied that if she was 'the beautiful coffee girl' that she had a gay panic over, and when they started to tease her over the chat, she silenced her phone and continued to enjoy the walk with Mina.
By the time they arrived at the club, Jihyo had already let Momo know they were inside. Momo grabbed Mina's hand so she could get in line without losing her among the people waiting to get in. When the caddyman told her they could go through, Momo stepped aside to let Mina go through first, and without giving her time to react to her actions, her body acted as if by instinct and familiarity, making her place one of her hands on Mina's waist. When she turned to look at her, Momo didn't know why she had done so, so she quickly removed her hand and scratched her nape.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did it, it just felt–"
"Natural" Mina completed, smiling slightly. "I know, it's okay."
Momo smiled back at her.
When they found Momo's friends, they also found a couple of shots waiting for them at the table. They all made Mina feel welcome at the party, just as they all kept teasing Momo who kept drooling over her.
Momo didn't lie to Mina when she told her that the night would be full of drinking and dancing, because now they are on the dance floor, body to body, and Mina can't remember the last time dancing like this with someone had made her feel such a fire inside her.
Momo's hands are sly, moving up and down her sides provocatively. And she feels the pressure they make when Momo makes them bring her hips as close together as possible, tempting her to leave her hands on Mina's lower back, even lower.
Maybe it's because of the heat she felt, maybe it was the way Momo knew how to move that makes Mina chooses to kiss Momo in the middle of the dance floor. With her hands tangled in her hair and feeling Momo's hands squeeze her waist.
Mina has to accept that it's not the crowd that makes it hot, and Momo makes it even hotter when she finally gets her hands on her ass. And it's not because of the alcohol that makes Mina moan, but Momo's tongue on hers, invading and taking her mouth.
However, that won't be the last thing Mina remembers the next morning when she wakes up in Momo's bed.
_______________
After a couple of weeks after that night, and it feels like everything around Momo is touched by Mina’s presence, even when she’s not there. Out of the blue —maybe it wasn't, but until then Momo didn't recognize Mina's essence in everything. Mina’s existence fills her thoughts constantly to the extent that her presence occupies Momo’s mind when she’s not around, and sometimes it slips out of her lips, with the walls in her room hearing, and then they continue to echo Mina’s name.
Every little thing Mina has mentioned that is to her liking, every song she talked about, seemed to pop up in Momo's life more frequently. Or at least, they now took up more of her attention. Mina said she like cats, but why are there so many cats around her neighborhood these days? Meaning, Momo didn't really like cats, but now, she suddenly found them adorable. They act like reminders for Momo to think of Mina once again.
It's not as if she needs any more reason to think about Mina either, since free time they have, time they spend together. On days when Momo works from home, Mina spends evenings and mornings at the apartment. And on days when Momo leaves the office early, she stops by the cafeteria for a freshly baked loaf of bread that Mina keeps just for her.
On days when Mina didn't sleep over with Momo, they were glued to the phone talking by text. Where Mina would ask Momo 'if I were a worm, would you still like me?' type questions; and Momo would send her videos with 'pov: us in another universe' captions and in the background a video of any two things, sometimes fish swimming together, sometimes a pair of flowers moving together in the wind, other times of clouds together in the clear sky.
And on weekends, they split them up to spend time with each group of friends. It was as if their routines blended seamlessly and somehow complemented each other.
In this universe, they were lying on Momo's bed, both on their sides facing each other in silence. From the living room, they could hear the record that Mina had played, they could smell some of the freshly brewed coffee that Momo had made before returning to bed with Mina. Both could spend hours looking at each other without the need to say anything. It was something that the rest did not understand, but they knew that only Mina and Momo did.
Half an hour must have passed, more or less Momo counted, because the record was already playing the last song on that side, when Mina spoke, almost in a whisper.
“For some reason, that I don't quite understand, when you look at me in my eyes, all I can see is purpose.”
“Of what?” Momo also asked in a low voice.
“Being, I suppose.” She sighed "Before I met you, no one used to notice me and most of me liked me because no one bothered me, no one hurt me." Mina's smile faltered a bit from the impulsiveness of wanting to add ‘but no one-outside of my friends-loved me’. "So, I wasn't making much effort to change things either."
"But?"
"But it was you and your boldness that made me want to step out of my comfort zone a little." Momo saw the gleam in Mina's eyes change, and how her whole face reflected affection and longing. “My heart has started beating differently since I met you. Maybe now it beats the way it is supposed to.”
And Momo cannot help if love has been redefined to mean Mina. She knew that the love she felt for Mina didn't fit in her chest, and the pressure she felt from wanting to get everything she felt out seemed to break her to pieces; but when Mina said things like that to her, Momo vowed to live for love.
And there was no other way to bring out all the affection she felt than by filling Mina's face with kisses, filling the room with her laughter.
"Wait, wait!" said Mina with a chuckle. "I'll get the coffee."
Momo gave her a kiss before letting her go, watching her move around the apartment from the bed. She heard Mina flip the record over and the music started playing again.
"Here you go."
Momo sat on her bed, leaning her back against the wall.
"Thanks," but when she took a sip, she made a face. "I don't know why, but I like coffee better when you make it."
Mina hummed as she dressed in a pair of Momo pants and her sweatshirt.
"You're just saying that so you're not the one who has to make it."
"That's not true!" Momo pouted.
Mina laughed before giving her a kiss.
"Yeah, right. See you later then."
"Don't go," Momo pulled her arm so that Mina fell on top of her. "Stay a little while longer."
"I can't, I have a couple of to-dos before my shift, and you have to go to the office today." Mina kissed her again. "But I'll see you tonight again."
"Okay" replied Momo in a defeated tone.
Truth be told, Momo loved her routine. It wasn't as if she didn't before, but now she didn't have to wait for the weekend to think about whether she would see her friends at the usual bar or see what idiocy one of them would come up with, or spend it on her couch playing Animal Crossing.
Now she knew that come the weekend, she and Mina would have plans. That during the week she no longer had to ask any of her friends if they wanted to have dinner together, of course, without telling them it was because she felt lonely some nights. Now, Mina would be with her, physically or by message.
Her routine hadn't changed, only the gaps in her days had adapted to Mina's presence in her life.
That day had been no exception. She worked, sent a couple of videos to Mina in her free time, ate lunch with her friends where they caught up on their lives outside the office, and then worked some more before returning to the apartment to walk her puppies and then get to shower and wait for Mina to get off her shift at the cafeteria.
She was finishing up a couple of tasks and errands on her Animal Crossing Island when she heard the apartment door open.
"I bought you a present" Momo watched as Mina's head peeked out of the front door alone.
"I love surprises!" she moved her Switch from her lap and rested her hands on her legs.
Mina smiled before opening the door all the way and revealing a giant box with a coffee machine, only for Momo's happy expression to change to one of confusion.
"Uh, baby, no offense, but what the fuck?"
"Peaches!" Mina complained with a chuckle. She put the box on the kitchen counter and as she reached for the scissors so she could open it, she continued, "you said you like the coffee I make, but in the cafeteria, I make it with a machine like this. So, now I can make you coffee the way you like it at home too."
"Mitan!" Momo exclaimed happily again as she stood up from the couch to hug Mina. " You didn't have to do all this for coffee. Thank you so much."
"I know, but I like spoiling you."
Momo let out a laugh before giving her a kiss of welcome and another of thanks.
"That thing you just said is going to come back to bite you in the ass."
"I know that too." Mina replied smiling as well.
"I love you so much, Mitan."
"I love you more."
Mina kissed her back, closing the space between them.
_______________
In the past, Mina wondered how other people knew that someone was for them? Now, she knows it’s because they bring peace you haven't found anywhere else. They support your effort. They water your growth.
It was the day Mina had started cooking classes, Momo's recommendation. And even if you think you know the reason —Momo's love for food—, it's not why.
It had been days when Mina didn't quite know what to do in her free time, and Momo told her about how she had started cooking classes when she had had a ‘fit’ phase in her life, but after a couple of weeks of trying that lifestyle, she had resigned herself and gone back to her usual diet; but that there were still times when she regretted giving up the cooking classes. And after a couple of days of mulling it over, Mina had decided that maybe it would be a good idea to take Momo's recommendation.
So, there was Momo, checking the time on her phone, impatient for Mina's arrival after her first class. To her surprise, when Mina arrived at the apartment, the emotion on her face was not one of excitement, more one of defeat.
"Hi" Momo quickly stood up from her place to go to Mina, who was taking out her things at the kitchen counter. "How did it go, Mitan?"
"Bad, things didn't go well for me."
"But– how?"
Mina shook her head and brought a plastic container of food over to her.
"Try it for yourself."
Momo saw what appeared to be a poke bowl mixed in by the hustle and bustle of the walk back to the apartment. However, when she took the first bite, she understood that scene from Ratatouille when different colors and sounds appear when mixing flavors.
"Wow..." said Momo with her mouth still full.
"Did you see? It didn't come out the–"
"...It's fucking good."
"Eh?" Mina turned to look at her seriously. "You're just saying that because I'm your girlfriend."
"I say that as a food lover."
"Momo, no. The dressing came out saltier than it really was."
"I really don't notice it."
"And the rice was overcooked."
"Softer, I don't have to chew as much."
"Stop it!" Mina raised her voice, and Momo stopped chewing instantly. "It's bad."
"Hey, it's okay," Momo put aside the poke bowl and rested one of her hands on Mina's arm to comfort her "it was just the first class."
"No, I failed, I didn't do my best."
"Even as your first class, I’m sure you did better than some of the people who have been there for months already."
"I should have done better."
Momo detected anger mixed with disappointment and frustration in Mina's voice. She clicked her tongue and, though Mina wasn't looking at her, smiled sweetly at her.
"I understand, you were raised as an overachiever. It's okay, you can rest now."
Rest? Mina didn't know the meaning of that word when it came to trying something new. Throughout her life, her father had made her see that if she didn't excel in every single activity she did and practiced, then there was no point in continuing to do them. Piano lessons, ballet, tennis, swimming, and even singing. Each of her dreams and aspirations had become duties and obligations.
Mina turned to look at her in disbelief.
"Eh?"
"Here, you don't have to be the best all the time, you can fail, have fun and learn from it."
"But–"
"It's okay, you can enjoy things."
Mina blinked a couple of times unable to fully comprehend what Momo was telling her.
"Now, let me tell you why this is the best poke bowl I've ever eaten. First…"
They spend the rest of the night —and the wee hours of the morning, marathoning Marvel to lift Mina's spirits, but Momo knows her girlfriend's body language, and knows that her mind is still on edge about the cooking class; she can see that Mina was greatly affected by the idea that she has about her performance.
So, while Mina focuses her superficial attention on movies, Momo focuses all her attention on analyzing Mina. She notices how her jaw is clenched and that from time to time, the muscles there tighten. As she stands in the kitchen, she gets a better look at Mina's eyes and gaze, as she emits rage combined with something akin to dismay.
And now that she thinks about it, Momo has never seen any feelings resembling sadness reflected or present in Mina. She wonders how long she's been repressing those emotions in herself; how much sadness Mina can carry until she finally explodes.
With that in mind, Momo waits until the movie is over for the moment to touch on the subject.
“You know it's okay to cry, right?”
“What?” Mina exclaimed as she chose the next film.
“Since I've known you, and that's about two years and a half now, I've never seen you cry.” Momo settles back down next to Mina, draping one of her arms around her shoulders. “Not when you fell and we had to take you to the ER to get stitches; not in emotional movies or– not even when the dog dies! Nor when you lost the necklace you loved so much, or even in very stressful situations."
“I– eh?”
“What I'm trying to say, is that I'm here if you want to cry, know that it's a safe place to do so.”
“Thanks?”
Momo nodded and went back to letting Mina snuggle up next to her.
And it didn't happen for the next few days, or couple of weeks, but one afternoon when Mina had gone out to do her grocery shopping.
What happened was that there wasn't the brand she always bought of ketchup. Fucking ketchup. And as if there weren't ten other brands to buy, Mina started crying in the middle of the aisle. First it was a couple of tears, but without her being able to do anything about it, within seconds she started bawling, and there was nothing she could do to stop the crying.
She cried in the supermarket, while paying for her groceries, on the way home and when she arrived.
Momo freaked out and panicked because she didn't know what to do, so she just let Mina cry in her arms for as long as it took. And when she finally calmed down, Momo asked her the reason that had made her like that, and when Mina told her about the ketchup, Momo wanted to laugh until her belly hurt because it was fucking ridiculous, but she just comforted her and told her that it was okay, that it was okay to cry for any reason, no matter how small it seemed.
Now, it’s 3am and they are in Momo’s living room with soft light and her favorite record is spinning. Mina is kissing her. They have no worries in the world; maybe they do, but at the time, any of them seemed insignificant enough to count.
They look into each other's eyes, and Momo actually hopes they're together in every universe. She wants to be with Mina all the time, wants to hold her hand all the time, feel the same warmth from her embrace.
Because being with Mina, feels like dancing in their happiest moments. Being with her means Momo can hold Mina’s heart alone. Means belonging where she does and breathe as she does. Momo wants to continue to start her mornings the same way Mina does: warmly and eyes ahead. Momo would make sunlight the way she likes it and ease the beginning of her day if it means that Mina will have one less concern on her mind every morning.
Momo thinks they will have to meet again. Wherever they stand next, she will go and find Mina. And she will love her every time, every life; hopes that in each life, Mina will continue to choose her.