Chapter Text
Ashton doesn’t need to knock when he reaches the doorway to the downstairs guestroom. The door is already wide open, and inside he sees exactly what he’s been fearing all morning. She’s actually going through with it, and though he knows that he won’t be able to change her stubborn mind, he’ll just have to try.
And, god, does he try.
“Mrs. S,” he says as he enters the room in quick strides, and even his tone sounds as desperate as he feels. “I ask that you please reconsider what you’re doing.”
The older woman actually snorts as if he couldn’t have said anything more ridiculous than that, and if anything, she speeds up the process of shoving her belongings into her suitcase. The fact that she hasn’t even taken the time to fold her clothing, which is something that she never fails to do, is hint enough that she’s desperate to escape their household. Ashton doesn’t know if he should be offended or worried.
“You ask me to reconsider my decision,” she starts, and again, she snorts. “With all due respect, Mr. Irwin, I’ve been considering these things for my entire life. Always considering, but never taking action! Well, that’s about to change. I’m still breathing, still able to walk upright, so why not get out there and see the world I’ve been living in for over fifty years?”
“It’s… It’s Ashton,” is all that Ashton can manage despite all that she’s said, as he watches her stuff the scarf he had bought her for Christmas into the suitcase as well.
Ashton doesn’t like being referred to as Mr. Irwin by his children’s nanny, he finds it far too formal and that’s not the type of relationship that he had wanted to establish. However, Mrs. S claims that it’s a sign of respect, and therefore no matter how many times he’s told her not to call him that, she chooses to do so anyway.
Once the suitcase has been stuffed to the brim with everything that she owns, Mrs. S clasps it shut and turns to him with a sympathetic grin. It’s nice to know that at least she feels some ounce of sympathy, even if her hasty actions show otherwise. In a much gentler tone that she often uses when telling bedtime stories to his children, she says:
“The way I see it, sometimes life sends us certain… signs. My own children are adults now and my husband is dead, god rest his soul. This means that I am free to be myself, I’m free to do whatever I please, and what pleases me is a one-way trip to Vegas!”
Her face splits into the widest grin that Ashton’s ever seen, and then she’s holding out her hand expectantly.
“My final check, please.”
Ashton stares down at her empty hand for a moment, a hand much smaller than his own and wrinkled with age. His own hand squeezes the envelope between it, reluctant to hand it over. But how childish would it be to refuse? In fact, it’s probably illegal to refuse an employee’s resignation unless they’ve signed some sort of contract stating otherwise, and despite seeing Mrs. S as family, Ashton is her employer first and foremost. So with an exasperated sigh, he hands over the check.
“Thank you very much!” she says, practically snatching the envelope from him. She’s still smiling as she lifts her suitcase from the perfectly made bed and walks right past him without another glance.
Normally, Ashton would be a gentleman and offer to carry things for her, but seeing as she’s Mrs. Independent now, he simply follows her out of the room and down the hallway, still hoping to change her mind even though he knows that it’s far too late for that.
“Sandra, please—”
“It’s Mrs. S, to you!”
“Fine.” Ashton rolls his eyes as he struggles to keep up with her. For a small woman in her mid-fifties, she sure does move rather quickly. “Mrs. S, but what about my children? Not only do they adore you, they still need you in their lives! We all need you and you’re wanted here. You can’t expect me to believe that you don’t feel an ounce of compassion for this family.”
Suddenly, Mrs. S stops walking and spins on her heels to face Ashton once more. He nearly crashes into her because of this, but manages to halt just in time. Currently, her expression is the stern one that she wears whenever one of the twins refuses to get ready for bath time. Ashton almost feels like a child himself, underneath her sharp gaze.
“And you can’t expect to guilt trip me into staying, Mr. Irwin. Shame on you for even attempting to do so.”
For the second time, the older woman spins on her heels and continues walking. Of course Ashton proceeds to follow her again, this time to apologize for his rudeness.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to guilt you into staying. It’s just. I mean—” He lets out a frustrated groan as he struggles to convey what he means. Time is running out and so is his patience, but lashing out is certainly not going to make things better. Instead, he tries reasoning with her. “Look, today is just really, really bad timing. Why not stay for one more night? Just one? It’ll give you the chance to mull over this entire situation, and who knows! You may even change your mind after all.”
Whether she agrees with that idea or not, Mrs. S doesn’t reply with her own opinion. She continues walking until she reaches the kitchen area, where the children are still eating the breakfast that she had prepared for them earlier. Their innocence shields them from what’s currently taking place, which is why they don’t suspect a thing as Mrs. S walks over and kisses each of them on top of the head. They continue sipping juice and chewing on toast, and Ashton already dreads breaking the news to them.
“I expect you to be good little angels for your father, understood?” She gives them a reward-winning smile and uses a thumb to brush the bread crumbs from the side of Annie’s mouth.
“Yes, Mrs. S,” the twins say in unison, just like she had taught them back when Ashton hired her nearly half a year ago.
Being an infant and all, Billie merely stares at her before refocusing on the task at hand—eating the pieces of Cheerios in front of him.
After bidding farewell to the children and successfully avoiding Ashton’s pitiful stare, Mrs. S exits the kitchen and makes her way to the front door, where she grabs her little black umbrella. It isn’t raining outside at the moment, but since the umbrella belongs to her, of course she’ll take that, too.
Never one to give up so easily, Ashton catches her one more time before she leaves.
“Mrs. S, I am literally begging you right now. My kids, they need a nanny and you’re the best one we’ve had in the past year! You and I both know how difficult it can be to find a new one, especially one that’s absolutely perfect.” Ashton pauses mid-speech and waits for her to actually look at him. When she does, he tries his hardest to appear as genuine as he feels inside. “You were perfect for this family. You still are, and we really do need you…”
Unexpectedly, but certainly not unwanted, Mrs. S sighs. For a brief moment, watching her stand there with her hand hovering over the door handle, it almost looks as if she’s actually changing her mind. It almost looks as if she really will stay with them. Just almost, and it’s enough to get Ashton’s hopes up again.
Unfortunately, luck really isn’t on his side today.
“I believe that’s where your problem lies, Mr. Irwin.” She pushes down on the handle and opens the door. Just before exiting the house and their lives for good, she glances over her shoulder and says, “Your children don’t need another nanny. They need a mother.”
The door shuts behind her before Ashton even gets the chance to reply. He tries really hard to restrain himself from cursing out loud, since the children would be able to hear it and Ashton has established a strict “no swearing” rule in his household. Thus, instead of breaking that rule, he covers his face with both hands and take several deep breaths to calm himself.
Don’t let her stress you out, Ashton. You can handle this, you’ve done it before. Just move on to the next phase.
It takes all of thirty seconds before those positive thoughts actually begin to make him better. Only slightly, but still enough to spark action. Ashton moves towards the front door and twists the lock in place, deciding to let go of Mrs. S in the same way that she has decided to let go of them. More like abandoned them, but whatever. Now that that’s been taken care of, it’s time to make a phone call.
As he passes the kitchen once more, one of the twins calls out to him.
“Daddy,” says Annie, watching Ashton with those big, hazel eyes that she inherited from him. “Where’s Mrs. S gone? Why did she leave?”
Knowing that he’ll have to tell them sooner or later but not having the energy nor the time to do it now, Ashton bites his bottom lip as he comes up with a white lie.
“She’s… going on a trip. Yeah, a really long trip.” To stop her from worrying and asking more questions, he smiles. It works easily enough, since she stops staring at him and resorts to sipping the last of her orange juice. Next to her, Ashton catches the other twin trying to hide her toast beneath a napkin. “I see that, Lillie. Finish your toast, please.”
The little girl begins to whine and slouch in the chair, but Ashton doesn’t have any time to chastise her. He leaves the kitchen and grabs the telephone on his way to the living room, where he knows that the children will be unable to hear his conversation. His fingers are shaking as he inputs the first number that comes to mind, and he begins pacing the room while he waits for an answer. When they finally do pick up, Ashton doesn’t wait for their greeting before announcing his own problem.
“My nanny quit this morning and now I need to find a new one as soon as possible.”
The sound of ruffling comes from the other end, and then Michael is sighing into the phone. It’s his usual reaction when they’re about to have a conversation that he’d rather not participate in, but he participates anyway because Ashton is his friend, and friendship has always been extremely important to Michael.
“Wait a minute, Mrs. S quit? Are you serious?” He pauses for a brief moment, then adds in a rather suspicious tone, “Okay, what’d you do this time?”
Joking or not, Ashton doesn’t appreciate the teasing. Not right now, when he’s on the road to possibly having another breakdown. And since there’s somewhere that he needs to be really soon, a breakdown is the last thing that he needs. Therefore, he rolls his eyes and makes it clear that there’s no time for jokes.
“First of all, I didn’t do anything! She…” Ashton pauses to sigh at the ridiculousness of it all. “She won the lottery, which I find appalling because I had no idea that she even gambled. Somehow she won and now she’s headed to Las Vegas to gamble it all away, something about living her dreams before she dies. I don’t fu—freakin’ know.”
This time Michael’s reaction comes instantly. He bursts out laughing and the sudden loud noise isn’t at all kind to Ashton’s ear drum, so he holds the phone away from his head until he’s sure that Michael is finished. Can’t blame him, though. If it were someone else in jeopardy, Ashton would have laughed as well.
“Sorry, sorry! I’m not laughing at you, I swear,” Michael tells him, despite still giggling a bit. “But… holy shit, she won the lottery? How—how much?”
“I don’t know, just a few thousand? Regardless of the amount, it was more than enough to get her to completely abandon us…”
Ashton stops pacing and leans against the mantel over the fireplace. It’s decorated with a few picture frames of himself and his children, and the one closest to him features Mrs. S standing in front of the Christmas tree with the children at her side. If Ashton didn’t have certain morals, he wouldn’t hesitate in tossing the picture into the fireplace; but since he does have certain morals, he simply shakes his head and looks away from the picture.
“I just don’t get it,” he goes on. “I was so sure that she was the perfect nanny for this family, and I thought that she valued us as much as we valued her. Apparently I was only fooling myself into believing that she’d stay for the long run. I mean, everyone leaves eventually. Heck, she was the third nanny I’ve hired in the past year alone! I honestly don’t know what to think about that.”
Several seconds pass by where Michael doesn’t respond to any of that, and at first Ashton just assumes that he’s thinking of what to say. However, a few more seconds pass and Ashton is positive that he hears someone whispering in the background, though it isn’t audible enough to be distinguishable.
“Michael? You still there?”
In response, Michael hums into the phone, though it sounds less like he’s thinking of an answer and more like, well, something else entirely.
“Y-Yeah, sorry, I’m here. Uh… so you’re gonna get another nanny to replace her, then?”
“Well, it’s not as if I have a choice,” Ashton says with a sigh. “I’ll have to search for one soon, but right now, I just need a babysitter. I have to leave in about an hour to take care of some business, and now that there’s no one to watch the kids for me, I’m basically screwed. So, I was wondering if you knew anyone…”
Ashton trails off when he gets distracted by the odd sound of Michael’s heavy breathing in his ear. Just as he’s about to inquire about his friend’s strange behavior, his ear picks up another voice in the background, a very familiar voice that he would be able to recognize anywhere.
“You like that?”
There’s no mistaking that it’s Calum who speaks, but it’s further confirmed when Michael hums once more and that’s all that it takes for Ashton to figure out what they’re doing. Now he can’t decide if he’s disgusted, disappointed, or equal parts both.
“For Christ’s sake,” Ashton groans, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Are the two of you actually fornicating while I’m talking to you on the phone?!”
Michael has the nerve to laugh at his distress, and it doesn’t come as a surprise. Countless times Ashton has walked in on his friends while they were in compromising positions, so the fact that this time he doesn’t have to witness it with his two eyes should make him feel grateful. However, hearing the nasty things that they’re doing isn’t exactly great, either.
“Hey, you’re the one who called and interrupted our morning blowjob session! You should know by now that it’s routine.”
“Morning, Ashton!” says Calum in the background, and Ashton chooses to believe that his muffled voice is caused by him not being close enough to the phone, and not because his mouth is probably full of Michael’s dick at the moment.
Ashton rolls his eyes again. “You guys are quite honestly the crudest people that I’ve ever met. You could’ve just told me that you were… busy.”
“Relax,” Michael tells him, laughing softly. “I answered the phone because I figured that it would be an emergency, and guess what? I was right, as always. Anyway, you can’t blame us for being in the honeymoon phase.”
“Michael, you’ve been married for two and a half years.”
“I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”
Annoyed but knowing that he still needs their help, Ashton merely sighs and decides to ignore any and all background noise, just in case his friends are still going at it like a couple of wild animals. Even so, he can’t deny that he isn’t slightly jealous that Michael has Calum and Calum has Michael. They’ve been a couple since they were teenagers and they were best friends for a handful of years before that, so it’s only right that they get their happy ending. Ashton lost all hope of achieving his own happy ending when he lost his wife a year ago.
With another sigh, he changes the subject.
“Listen, I’ll let you get back to your precious blowjobs after you’ve helped me. Do you know anyone who can watch the kids for me today? I know that you and Cal have that huge family thing to get to later.”
“Unfortunately,” Michael mutters. “But, uh… what about Ashley? Have you asked her yet?”
Ashton gasps. “I haven’t! But I’ll give her a call right now, thanks for the suggestion.”
He ends the phone call right after Michael tells him good luck, but as soon as he has dialed Ashley’s number, the sound of a baby’s cry grabs his attention. There’s only one baby in the house so he knows that it’s Billie, and Ashton’s feet automatically carry him back into the kitchen so that he can deal with his wailing son.
To no one’s surprise, the twins are no longer sitting obediently at the kitchen table. They’ve most likely retreated down the hall to the playroom, and being left all alone and stuck in his highchair, baby Billie began to cry. That’s the thing about Billie—he dreads being alone, even for a slither of a second, and without a nanny to keep him busy, this makes Ashton’s job that much more difficult.
“Alright, alright. Daddy’s here,” he murmurs sweetly to the crying infant. He holds the phone between his ear and shoulder as he retrieves Billie from the highchair, and as usual, the baby ceases crying as soon as he’s being held by his daddy. It’s one of the cutest things about him, if Ashton’s being honest, so he kisses one of Billie’s chubby pink cheeks and holds the baby close to his chest.
At last, there’s an answer.
“Hello?”
“Ash, it’s an emergency.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound good. Is everything okay?” she asks, sounding especially concerned.
Ashton checks his wristwatch and senses the panic that builds up even more, because the clock is ticking and the children are still in their pajamas. Even if Ashley agrees to help, it’ll take a bit of a miracle to get them ready on time.
“No, everything is definitely not okay right now,” he admits. “Mrs. S quit this morning and I have no one else to watch the kids for me today. I’ll tell you the details later, but I was wondering if you’re not busy, would you be alright with watching Billie and the girls for me? Just for a few hours, at most.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course! Bring them over whenever you’re ready, I just finished doing a bit of cleaning and Kiara is watching some Disney movie in the other room. I’m sure she’d love to play with Lillie and Annie, and I can find some way to keep Billie entertained.”
In all honesty, Ashton never would have imagined that it’d be this easy. The baby in his arms is the only thing that keeps him from jumping up and down with joy and relief, but he does grin from ear to ear.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he exclaims. “I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am for your existence. I’ll be over sooner than you know it, and they’ve already eaten breakfast so you won’t have to worry about any of that.”
After getting off the phone with his daughters’ ballet instructor, Ashton feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Well, sort of, because there’s still a weight against his chest and Billie is trying to chew on his necklace, but at least now he doesn’t feel so helpless. Shifting the baby so that he’s propped up by Ashton’s hip, Ashton leaves the kitchen and makes his way to the staircase.
“Let’s go, Billie,” he murmurs, smiling down at the adorable infant at his side. “It’s time to get you ready for a fun playdate!”
As always, Billie responds with a bunch of gibberish, but it’s enough to make Ashton giggle for the first time that morning.
***
Ashley’s apartment is only about fifteen minutes away, and combined with the twenty minutes that it takes Ashton to get his children out of the house and into the car, he has less than half an hour to make it to work. It’s not an impossible feat, though. With his skilled driving and slight disobeying of the speed limit, he arrives at her apartment complex within approximately twelve minutes. Call it a talent, call it luck, but Ashton is never late for anything. Ever. And he certainly won’t start now.
Once standing in front of her door, Ashton knocks twice. Thankfully, she answers in ten seconds flat, and the twins eagerly greet her with hugs. Afterwards, she points them in the direction of the family room where her own daughter, Kiara, is waiting for them. Ashton doesn’t mind that they don’t even say goodbye to him before running inside, since it’s clear that they’re eager to play with their best friend.
“Here’s the diaper bag,” Ashton says, removing the strap from his shoulder and placing it on hers when Ashley reaches out for it. He gives Billie one last kiss on the cheek before handing him to her as well. “And here’s the little munchkin who requires the diaper bag. I’m afraid he didn’t get much sleep last night because of night terrors, so he’ll probably be needing a nap soon.”
Ashley nods at everything that he says, and when she turns her attention to Billie, she puts on a grand smile and speaks to him using the softest tone.
“Hi, baby!” she coos, “Did the mean night terrors keep you awake? Aww, they did, didn’t they? Well don’t you worry, I’ll keep you safe from now on. Just like your daddy protects you.”
Ashton smiles just as wide when she kisses Billie’s temple and he leans into her gentle touch. From the looks of it, he might be falling asleep right here in the doorway, and Ashton is glad for that. Ashley already has three five-year-olds to watch, and a teething baby with separation anxiety would only make things harder for her. Billie really likes her, though, and that’s rare. So, Ashton knows that they won’t have any trouble today.
“Thanks again for the help,” he says with great sincerity. “I owe you one, Ash.”
“Actually, you owe me a few,” she replies, but the half-smirk on her face gives away that she’s just teasing him. “It’s fine, you know. I mean, us single parents have to stick together, don’t we?”
Ashton nods at the statement, even though he can’t help but feel a tad guilty for always needing her help and never aiding her in return. Although to be fair, she’s never asked him for anything like this. Now, whether it’s because she’s a super mom who never needs his assistance or simply because she just thinks that he has enough on his plate, remains a mystery.
“Well?” Ashley raises an eyebrow and begins to gently bounce Billie when he starts to fuss a little. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Suddenly remembering that he’s on borrowed time, Ashton checks his wristwatch and barely refrains from cursing out loud, even though a one year old couldn’t possibly repeat anything he’s said. At least not yet, anyway.
“Right, gotta go!” Ashton spins on his heels and practically dashes back towards the parking lot. Over his shoulder he calls out, “I’ll be back in just a few hours!”
Laughing to herself, Ashley waves goodbye.
“Just don’t break any traffic laws on the way there!”
Despite hearing her warning, maybe Ashton does break one or two laws just to make it to the office in time. Even so, no one else has to know.
***
As anticipated, Mrs. S doesn’t return that night. Nor does she return the next night after that. On the third night since her resignation, Ashton has no choice but to tell the truth when one of the twins asks about the nanny’s disappearance. And although Ashton always tries his best to shield his children from such harsh realities, they’re much more perceptive than he gives them credit for.
Therefore, on that third night when Ashton is tucking them into bed, he’s taken off-guard when Lillie speaks up.
“How come Mrs. S isn’t tucking us in?” she asks.
“Mrs. S always tucks us in,” Annie adds, as if it’s a detail that Ashton may have forgotten.
As he thinks of an answer, Ashton glances back and forth between his daughters whose beds are adjacent to one another. He’s reminded of a few years back when they’d grown too big for their cribs and he’d wanted to buy them the cutest little bunk beds. He remembers having to throw that idea out of the window when his late wife, Charlotte, expressed worries about one of the girls somehow falling off the top bunk, despite the railing meant to protect them. She had always been the more precautious one who worried over many things, but now that she’s gone, Ashton finds himself worrying twice as much as she ever did.
Once he makes sure that Lillie is safe and secure in bed, Ashton sits on the edge of the mattress and exhales the most tired sigh.
“Well, Mrs. S isn’t exactly here to do that anymore, so I’ll be tucking you in from now on.”
“But where did she go?” Lillie asks only half a second later, and it pains Ashton to hear the longing in her voice.
“Where did she go?” Annie repeats.
They’ve had this strange pattern of speaking for as long as Ashton can remember. Unlike fictional twins that can be seen in movies, they don’t often say the same thing at the same time, but usually, Annie will repeat whatever Lillie says as if to add emphasis. According to the internet, it’s not uncommon for one twin to act as the leader and for the other twin to follow, but in moments such as these, it makes them twice as difficult to deal with. Ashton always tries his best to understand them, but only Mrs. S has the ability to figure them out and communicate properly.
And, well, now she’s gone for good.
“I told you that she went on a long trip, remember?” Ashton tries smiling softly in hopes that it’ll cheer them up. “But no worries, daddy will take care of you and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” He gasps, then. “Say, wanna hear a bedtime story? I can read you that book that Mrs. S always read to you—”
“She’s not coming back, is she?”
For the second time that night, Lillie’s question takes him by surprise. It must be showing on his face, and combined with the several seconds of silence that follows afterwards, they don’t need an answer to know the truth. After all, they’re at an age where they’re beginning to be able to think for themselves and come to their own conclusions. Regardless, Ashton drops the act and decides to tell them the truth. It’s the least that he can do, especially since they’ll know when a new nanny arrives to replace Mrs. S.
“No,” he mutters sadly, shaking his head. “She’s not coming back, Lils. I’m sorry.”
Because he expects there to be waterworks, Ashton is more than relieved when neither of the girls begin to cry. He’s not sure if he would be able to console them if that were to happen, because he knows how much they adored Mrs. S in comparison to the previous two nannies.
Technically speaking, the first nanny had only been a babysitter and not an official nanny, but Ashton had no choice but to get rid of her when he finally realized that she had been drinking his wine and refilling the bottles with water. Belinda came after that, but she was far too strict and the girls were practically afraid of her. On the other hand, Mrs. S was the perfect balance of gentle nurturer and disciplinarian. It’ll definitely be hard to find someone just like her, or even better.
Ashton clears his throat and puts on another smile. “It’s going to be alright, loves. Pretty soon you’ll have a brand new nanny! One who tells the best bedtime stories and makes the yummiest pancakes. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
However, when he attempts to reach out and hold his daughter’s small hand in his, she quickly retracts her hand and closes in on herself, staring at the blank ceiling instead of meeting his eyes. The blatant rejection stings worse than any pain he’s felt in ages, and when he glances over to Annie’s bed, he finds that his other daughter is behaving in the same way, picking at the sheets instead of looking at him.
“Lillie? Annie?” he says quietly. “What’s gotten into you both?”
It takes several seconds of prodding, but eventually Lillie is the one who speaks up first.
“It’s not fair,” she mumbles.
Ashton furrows his brows. “What’s not fair?”
“First you made mommy go away and now Mrs. S.”
Those words are twice as shocking as anything else that she’s said already, but even more than that, a sharp pain settles right over Ashton’s heart. Staring back into her big, sad eyes, he can almost make out his own reflection, the reflection of a broken man whose children blame him for the death of their mother. He doesn’t know why it comes as a complete shock, since he’s been blaming himself this whole time as well. Maybe it’s because he has always wanted his children to see him as a protector and the one who loves them most, not some villain who brings nothing but bad luck and pushes everyone away.
Perhaps that’s exactly what he is, then. Someone who jinxes those around him and fails to keep his family happy, no matter how hard he tries. Maybe he hasn’t been trying hard enough, and his daughters’ unhappiness is proof of this.
Before being able to speak again, Ashton has to swallow down the hard lump that has formed in his throat. Both of his daughters are staring at him now, waiting for what he will say next—or, perhaps they’re waiting for him to promise that he’ll bring back the women that they love. After all, they’re still just a couple of innocent children. All children have hope for impossible things, and even the most damaged ones believe in something.
“I-I didn’t make them go away, sweetie, they just…” Ashton trails off and goes silent again, unsure of how he can explain that people don’t come back from the dead and that their nanny chose to leave them behind. Therefore, he goes for the safe route and tells them: “Daddy’s going to fix everything, okay? I promise.”
Thankfully, it’s a good enough answer for now.
“Pinky promise?” murmurs Lillie.
Ashton nods without a second thought and links his pinky finger with Lillie’s. He even leans over as far as he can and links his other finger with Annie’s, promising them both a second time so that they know he means it. While they don’t look as if they believe in him entirely, they do look like they’ve been given hope. That’s good enough for now, too.
Soon afterwards, they say goodnight and accept the forehead kisses that Ashton gives to them. The girls don’t ask for a bedtime story and Ashton is relieved for that, because the lump has resurfaced in his throat and he’s not sure that he’ll be able to keep it together for much longer. The last thing that he wants is for his baby girls to see their daddy crying, because then they’ll finally see that he isn’t the strong, resilient father that he’s supposed to be. Nothing would be worse than that.
There’s still nearly three hours before midnight, and although Ashton hasn’t gone to bed before two o’clock for as long as he can remember, he decides that tonight shall be an exception. He’s far too exhausted to work on anything that needs to be completed and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to focus on it, anyway; in other words, going to bed is his only option.
But as luck would have it, Ashton doesn’t make it down the hallway to his own bedroom before those plans are interrupted, too. Billie’s cries reach his ear before he even turns the corner, so he has no choice but to make a detour to the nursery to comfort his son. It certainly isn’t the first time that Billie has woken up in the middle of the night. However, it’s only been about an hour since Ashton first put him to bed, which usually implies that he’s just going to continue waking up all throughout the night.
The crying increases to its full volume when Ashton opens the door to the nursey and enters the room, where he finds Billie standing in his crib. It’s quite obvious that the poor babe had yet another nightmare, so Ashton does what any parent would do. He plucks Billie from his crib and whispers sweet nothings into his ear while gently rocking him in order to calm him down.
“Don’t cry, little one. Please don’t cry,” he murmurs softly, and pauses to press a gentle kiss to Billie’s temple. “It’s alright now, Billie. Daddy won’t ever let anything hurt you.”
The soothing words combined with the gentle rocking works its usual magic, and soon enough, Billie’s wailing turns into soft sniffles as he begins to drift off to sleep against Ashton’s chest. It’s these moments that make Ashton feel like he’s actually needed. With Billie, he feels as if he’s actually doing something right, because the little boy isn’t old enough to realize the truth. All he knows is Ashton’s warmth and soft humming when he’s being put to sleep, so Ashton will cherish these moments for as long as he possibly can.
“Well,” he murmurs, chuckling to himself. “At least I know that you still believe in me, huh?”
Billie doesn’t answer that, of course; but his breathing gradually slows down until Ashton is positive that he’s dozing off for good. His father’s voice never fails to have that effect on him, even if Ashton fails at most other things. In fact, he can’t even succeed at putting on a good face. His daughter’s words keep echoing inside of his head, and no matter how many times he tells himself that she’s just a child who doesn’t understand the weight behind those words, he can’t help but feel that she’s completely right. If he had tried harder to get Mrs. S to stay, or if he’d only been a better husband to Charlotte, then maybe neither of them would be gone.
If only, if only, if only.
It’s almost ironic, how Ashton manages to get Billie to stop crying when he can’t even stop himself from doing the same thing. But since no one’s watching him in this dark room whose only source of light is the night lamp plugged into the wall, Ashton hardly cares at this point. He allows himself to cry about his failures, the stress that eats away at him with every passing day, the death of his children’s mother as well as the death of the marriage that they tried to save by having another baby. He cries because he feels so lonely, he cries because he’s afraid; but most of all, he cries because it’s the only thing that allows him to feel, and the ability to feel anything is what he truly misses.
“I just… I just don’t know what to do,” he whispers as another tear falls down his cheek.
From the looks of it, he’s absolutely sure that it’ll take a miracle of some sort before he’s able to figure everything out and get his children to believe in him again. And, well, he of all people knows that miracles don’t just grow on trees. Therefore, he’ll just have to find the seed to plant that tree for him.
***
Finding a new nanny to replace the previous one is never easy, but since this will be the fourth time that Ashton has hired a nanny at all, the process isn’t nearly as difficult as it should be. Actually, the only difficult part is deciding on which nannies to choose for the next stage: interviewing them.
Being a very busy man and a single father of three, Ashton doesn’t have all the time in the world to play nanny jeopardy and eliminate them one by one, so he dedicates just one entire evening to scrounging the internet for the perfect nannies. He scans over profile after profile, scrolling past the ones who don’t meet the requirements that he’s looking for and saving the ones who do meet those requirements in another tab. By the time that he’s finished, he’s left with five nannies who live nearby for him to choose from for the in-person interviews.
“What do you say, Billie?” he asks, glancing down at the infant currently sitting in his lap. “Nancy sounds like a good candidate, don’t you think? Even her name is that of a typical nanny.”
Instead of speaking his usual gibberish, Billie stares back at his father before reaching up and making an attempt at stealing the spectacles from Ashton’s face. Remembering the last time that Ashton had to replace his glasses because of one of his kids, he easily dodges the small hand and kisses it instead, smiling when his son smiles at him first.
“Sorry Billie, but my vision isn’t yours to play with.”
Billie makes an indignant sound at that, and then he goes back to chewing on the baby keys that never fails to keep him busy. Without a nanny to take care of things, Billie has hardly left Ashton’s sight over the past few days, except for when he’s asleep in his crib. Other times, he follows Ashton around the house in his baby walker or sits on Ashton’s lap while his father is working on the computer. It’s not too tough, though. Aside from crying a tad more than the average baby, Billie has always been an easy going baby who finds ways to entertain himself and doesn’t require constant movement. He’s actually rather quiet when he isn’t crying, and Ashton is grateful for that.
The twins, on the other hand, are currently playing by themselves as usual. The only time that they venture into Ashton’s office is when they’re hungry or want him to put a movie on for them to watch, and although it’s nice not having to keep an eye on them every minute of every day, Ashton feels as if he should be doing more when it comes to spending time with his daughters. Even so, he lets things continue as they are because he has more on his plate than he can handle right now, and hiring a new nanny is the first step to fixing everything. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
“What about Tabitha, then? She sounds really nice.” Ashton squints at the brightly lit screen and begins to read from the woman’s profile. “Says here that she’s got ten years of experience and she’s really good with babies. Well, you’re a baby, so what do you think?”
When all that Billie replies with is a giant spit bubble and jingling of the keys he’s playing with, Ashton takes that as an undecided answer.
“Alright, alright. How about—”
He instantly pauses when he clicks on the next tab and is met with a mysterious profile. The user doesn’t have a profile picture, but they’re a twenty-two year old with six years of experience and they’re listed as Luke H. The funny thing is that Ashton doesn’t recall clicking on this particular profile while going through the epic list of nannies, and then there’s the fact that, well, they’re a dude. A dude who happens to be the very first male that Ashton has come across on this website so far.
To be honest, Ashton had no idea that male nannies were even a thing. Well, until now. But instead of judging this “Luke H.” right off the bat, he takes a moment to carefully read the user’s profile and finds that he does remember opening it in another tab, only he hadn’t read the name before. Seeing that this person meets all of the requirements that Ashton is looking for, suddenly his gender no longer matters as much.
“Well, he certainly doesn’t sound bad at all,” Ashton mutters, though mainly to himself. “His qualifications are good, too. He knows CPR, first-aid, and his background check is already on file… not to mention that he’s highly educated and received his degree about a year ago. He used to be a tutor, he really likes to sing, and apparently he’s a… surfer?”
Ashton glances down at Billie again, who is beginning to bang the keys against the desk just because he likes the noise that it makes, and also because babies can be quite destructive sometimes. It brings a soft laugh out of Ashton.
“You know, once upon a time—and I mean a long, long time ago—your daddy was a surfer, too! Not a very good one, but still.”
Unsurprisingly, Billie utters a long sentence that is completely undecipherable, but his tone makes it sound as if he doesn’t believe a single word that he’s just been told. Ashton gasps and pretends to be offended, and his reaction causes Billie to giggle for several seconds.
“Excuse you, but I’m telling the truth!” Ashton exclaims, and for whatever reason, Billie finds it absolutely hilarious. The baby giggles uncontrollably while staring up at Ashton with the brightest blue eyes, appearing just like his mother in this moment. A bittersweet feeling settles deep within Ashton’s stomach, but he decides not to focus on it.
“Okay, I think I’ll give him a chance and schedule an interview. Do you think that I should?”
Billie raises the keys into the air and blabbers something that sounds suspiciously a lot like the word maybe, so Ashton will take it as such.
“I trust your judgement, then,” Ashton says with a laugh, and he kisses the top of Billie’s head.
The next step is getting in contact with Luke H. and setting up an interview for the upcoming weekend, so that’s precisely what Ashton does. And while he still wants to schedule interviews with the other four nannies, he’s sure that this first one will be a very interesting start.
***
When Saturday morning arrives, it’s as if all hell breaks loose.
It all starts when Ashton somehow manages to ignore his alarm clock and wake up much later than planned. When he quickly stumbles out of bed to start the day and prepare for Luke’s arrival, he smacks right into the door leading to the en suite. He swears it has nothing to do with his impaired vision and everything to do with his jumbled up brain, since he isn’t fully awake yet. An incredibly quick shower fixes that problem, and then it’s time for him to get the children ready, too.
That’s where Ashton runs into a bit of trouble. Lillie and Annie decide that they really don’t like him today, so after choosing to finally follow orders only once he’s given said orders at least five times, they chase each other around the house while making as much noise as they can. Ashton is far too busy taking care of Billie to get them to quiet down, since the poor babe pukes up the breakfast that Ashton feeds to him. While it obviously isn’t the baby’s fault, this event does set Ashton back another twenty minutes as he cleans Billie up, changes his clothes, and then goes back to clean the highchair as well.
Honestly, he’s been without a nanny for a mere six days and he’s already tempted to grab a bottle of wine and say screw it, then proceed to down the entire bottle to put himself to sleep for countless hours. At this point, he’s sure that a hangover is totally worth a few hours of bliss and freedom.
At last, the clock strikes twelve. Since they’ve agreed to hold the interview at noon, it doesn’t come as a surprise when the doorbell rings only a minute or two later; but unfortunately for Ashton, Billie is still in a fussy mood and absolutely refuses to be put down, whereas the girls have only just calmed down and are now sitting quietly in the family room, all thanks to Alice in Wonderland on the TV.
Sadly, Ashton doesn’t get a chance to clean up the toys that they’ve left scattered along the floor. Even so, he sincerely hopes that all will go well regardless, and that he’s able to make a good impression; after all, choosing a nanny is not just about how much the family gets along with the nanny in question. It’s just as equally about how well the nanny feels about the family that wants to hire them!
With a baby on his hip and a belly filled with nerves, Ashton kicks a Lego toy to the side and answers the front door with a welcoming smile.
On the other side of the door stands a man with a bright smile of his own, only it’s a lot softer and perhaps even a tad bit bashful. In contrast, the smile on Ashton’s face instantly shifts into a look of confusion as he tries to figure out who exactly this stranger is—this rather attractive stranger, who looks like a university student that’s going door-to-door for some sort of school project, or something like that, which would explain the brown bag slung across his shoulder and his white button-down with grey cardigan combo.
However, Ashton isn’t looking at the bag so much as he’s taking in the stranger’s appearance; his soft, featherlike blond hair that almost looks like gold in the natural sunlight; his clear blue eyes that brings an innocent look to his already boyish face, adorned with a pointy nose, a subtle cleft in his clean-shaven chin, and thin lips that are much pinker than the color in his cheeks.
“Hi there,” Ashton slowly says, only because he supposes that he should be the one to speak first. “May I help you with something…?”
All of a sudden, the bashful smile on this guy’s face disappears as well, and now he looks just plain embarrassed as he scrambles for a reply.
“Oh, um,” he starts, and then briefly glances over his shoulder at where his car is parked along the sidewalk as if contemplating to run for it. “You’re… You are Mr. Irwin, right? If not, then oh gosh, I’m terribly sorry. I must have the wrong address! You see, I’m meant to arrive at the Irwin residence at noon but then I got lost because I’ve never been in this area before and the houses are all so big, and then—”
“Yes!” Ashton blurts out just to get this guy to stop talking at a mile a minute. “Yes, I’m Ashton Irwin, and you… you’re Luke, I assume?”
Once again, his smile returns immediately.
“Yep, that’s me!” Then, he extends his arm for a handshake. “Luke Hemmings, at your service. Again, I’m really sorry for the delay…”
Ashton is quick to reach out with his free arm and take the hand that’s been offered to him, noting how much softer they are in comparison to his own. When he retracts his hand, he does his best to ignore the blood rising to his cheeks and clears his throat, putting on the welcoming smile that had originally been there.
“Then I’m the one who should be apologizing! It’s just that I… well, I had imagined that you would look quite different.” Or, in other words, he hadn’t imagined that Luke would be so handsome and young looking, though it makes sense. He’s only twenty-two and fresh out of university, after all. “Anyway, please, come in!”
Ashton opens the door wider and allows Luke to step inside, then shuts the door behind him. Right off the bat, Luke silently takes in his surroundings, looking everywhere from the high ceiling to the floor beneath his feet. Ashton can feel himself blushing again, seeing the multiple toys scattered along the hardwood floor.
“I hope that you’ll excuse the mess,” he says with a nervous laugh. “It’s not always like this, but my girls have been really… hyperactive all morning and I didn’t have any time to clean up the mess that they’ve made.”
Luke instantly turns to face him with that same soft smile from before.
“Oh, it’s alright! I don’t mind at all. I was just admiring, well, everything else. You have a very lovely home, this place is almost like a mansion.”
As Ashton starts to thank him for the compliment, Billie suddenly drops his favorite yellow sippy cup to the floor. In the blink of an eye, Luke bends down and picks it up with a swoop of his hand, and then he hands it over to Billie with an amused expression on his face.
“Ah, where are my manners? I’m Luke! What’s your name, little guy?” Luke asks, and instead of holding his hand out like he did for Ashton, he holds out just his index finger and allows Billie to grasp onto it. Ashton almost flinches at the sight, knowing that his son has the iron grip of a bear; however, Luke’s smile only widens.
“This is Billie,” Ashton answers. “And he just had his first birthday a couple of weeks back.”
Luke lets out a dramatic gasp. “Well then, happy belated birthday to you!”
The strangest yet most beautiful thing happens next. Luke makes a random silly face at Billie, and Billie actually laughs, like, full-on laughs to the point where his eyes sparkle and his chubby cheeks go a little pink, which is a reaction that doesn’t usually occur with strangers. In fact, it pretty much never happens. Even Mrs. S had to earn his trust before she was able to make him laugh like that, but with Luke, Billie appears to be entirely comfortable and amused at the man’s silly facial expressions. And as a spectator to this interaction, Ashton is both surprised and impressed.
Straightening his back again, Luke looks to Ashton and whispers, “I think he likes me.”
“I think so, too,” Ashton whispers back, and the two of them share a brief laugh. Billie laughs with them as well, despite obviously having no clue as to what’s so funny. But anyone can agree that his laughter is a lot more welcomed than his crying.
Ashton leads Luke into the living room where he will be conducting the first part of the interview, and while Luke settles in, he takes Billie into the other room and sets him down in his play pen. Thankfully, the girls still have their eyes glued to the television, so he knows that they won’t be much of a distraction during this first part. Still, he gives them a quick reminder.
“Daddy’s just going to be in the other room with our guest, so I need the both of you to be on your best behavior, alright?”
He thinks that one of the twins nod their head, but other than that, they don’t pay him much attention. Sighing, Ashton supposes that it’s much better than being blatantly defied. With that thought in mind, he leaves them to their Disney film and makes a detour to the kitchen, where he grabs the tray of lemonade and cookies he’d put together earlier and then returns to the living room.
Ashton finds Luke standing in front of the fireplace, examining some of the picture frames on top of the mantel. From this angle, Ashton can see the hint of a smile on Luke’s face, and at this rate he’s beginning to wonder if Luke ever stops smiling. Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a generally happy person. As a matter of fact, Ashton used to be the most optimistic and positive guy out there; but he just hopes that Luke won’t be put off by the way that he is nowadays.
“Mr. Irwin, I—”
“Please, call me Ashton,” he requests, setting the tray down onto the coffee table between the two fancy, cream colored sofas.
Luke comes over and takes a seat on the sofa opposite of Ashton. Again, he smiles, and it’s the bashful one from before.
“Ashton. I just wanted to say that you have an incredibly beautiful family. You must be truly happy.”
“Thank you. And yes, I am.” Ashton returns the smile with ease, and as Luke reaches forward to take one of the two glasses of lemonade, he crosses a leg over the other and patiently waits until Luke has quenched his thirst. “However, what this family needs now more than ever is a new nanny, ever since the previous one left us nearly a week ago.”
“Right,” Luke says, nodding. He sets down his glass and crosses his legs as well, suddenly looking quite determined. “Interview time, correct?”
Ashton huffs out a small laugh. “You’re correct, but don’t think of this as, say, an interview for a position at KFC, Ikea, or anything like that. Since I’m looking for a full-time, live-in nanny, I’d prefer it if we were as open with each other as possible, you know? If you have any specific concerns, feel free to talk about them. If there’s anything that you’d like to know about me, don’t hesitate to ask. Alright?”
After hearing those words, Luke visibly relaxes a little, though he looks as surprised as Ashton did when Billie instantly warmed up to him.
“Alright, no problem. I can do that,” Luke replies. “Thanks.”
Ashton raises a brow. “For?”
“Well, for…” Luke pauses for a few seconds and gives it some genuine thought. He looks as if he’s thinking really hard too, with his brows furrowed in concentration and his head tilted to one side. Finally, he merely shrugs and begins to look bashful once more. “Um. I don’t really know. But thanks anyway.”
And that right there, that makes Ashton laugh. Like Luke, he’s not entirely sure as to why he’s laughing all of a sudden, but it happens and he doesn’t attempt to fight it. His laughter only comes to an end when he takes notice of the way that Luke is looking at him now, all wide-eyed with a half-smirk to show his amusement. And now Ashton is the one who starts feeling a tad bashful, so he clears his throat and begins with the usual questions.
“So, tell me a bit about yourself. Why did you choose to become a nanny?”
Before answering the question, Luke glances down at his folded hands in his lap. Or, more specifically, the small ring on his pinky finger. However, it seems less like he’s thinking of an answer and more like he’s remembering something special, hinted by the way that he begins to smile before locking eyes with Ashton again.
“Around four years ago, I went through a very… difficult time. Actually, it was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to deal with, and at that point in my life, I couldn’t find a single reason to be happy. But, I was also working at a Kindergarten back then, and spending time with those bright children became my new source of happiness, I think. I saw how even the smallest of things could make them happy and excited, and remembered how I was the same way at their age. It made me want to protect their happiness, to nurture them and teach them that even when life knocks them down, they can still get back up and enjoy the little things that never fail to make them happy. For me, those children were… quite literally the little things that kept me going, I suppose.”
Ashton isn’t sure of what enchants him the most; the explanation itself, the sincerity in Luke’s tone as he speaks, or the subtle smile that never seems to leave his face the entire time. Perhaps it’s all of the above that leaves Ashton speechless by the time that Luke has finished, and then it’s up to his brain to process all of that. He must remain silent for a second too long, because Luke’s smile becomes uneasy and he nervously chews on his bottom lip while scratching at the back of his head.
“Was that… too weird? Too corny? I swear that I meant every word of it, it’s just that my mind is still focused on the fact that this is an interview and whatnot, so I may have gotten a little carried away…”
Ashton dismisses those words with a wave of his hand. “No, no, it was fine! Really. I think it’s very sweet, actually.” He smiles at Luke just to prove that he means it, and it warms his insides when Luke grins back as usual. “So is that when you decided that you wanted to be a nanny?”
“Half and half,” Luke answers, and when it’s clear that Ashton doesn’t understand, he explains further. “It was when I decided that I wanted to do something involving childcare, which led me to where I am now as a teacher at Sunnydale Elementary School. I figured that since my mom was a teacher and my oldest brother is a professor, then I’d follow in their footsteps.”
“But?”
“But… being a school teacher just isn’t for me. I mean, I loved tutoring back in high school, but I’ve been babysitting since I was sixteen and I’ve always preferred it over simply teaching. A teacher can only do so much for a child, whereas a nanny has the advantage of making sure that the child has a good home-life, too. After all, what goes on at home often affects how a child does in school, you know?”
Ashton nods while making a mental note of that. Lillie and Annie still have another year before they have to start going to school, and Ashton has been mentally preparing himself for their first day as school students from the day that they learned how to walk. Now that he’s all on his own, he’s not sure if he’ll be able to handle it anymore.
“Well, I’m sure that figuring out what you really wanted to do must have been a great moment for you.”
“Oh, it certainly was!” Luke replies excitedly, and it almost causes Ashton to laugh again.
“So,” he says, ready to move on. “I hope that you don’t take this the wrong way, but did you ever have any doubts about becoming a nanny? You know, since it’s considered an unusual job title for men?”
“Not really, no. I’ve never really been the type of person to conform to every gender role out there, so it’s never bothered me. Well, except for that one thing…” Luke trails off and snorts, rolling his eyes. “Apparently male nannies are called… mannies, and it grinds my gears more than you could ever know. But eh, what can ya do.”
“Mannies? Seriously?” Ashton really does start to laugh this time, but when Luke sighs and nods his head sadly, showing that he isn’t kidding, Ashton can’t help rolling his eyes as well. “Geez, sounds a bit unnecessary, if you ask me. Those must be the same people who use terms like ‘man purse’ and ‘man bun’.”
“I know, right?! Finally, someone understands me!”
For the second time, Luke has that excited grin on his face. Ashton only realizes that he’s mirroring that grin when his cheeks begin to feel sore from smiling so much, but he doesn’t stop because, well, he’s unable to right now. It’s clear that Billie isn’t the only one who’s affected by Luke’s charm.
“I take it you won’t mind if we call you Nanny Luke instead of Manny Luke, then?” he teases.
Luke playfully rolls his eyes, still grinning. But what he says is this: “You can call me whatever you’d like.”
Over the next several minutes, Ashton asks Luke about a handful of other questions that he answers just as perfectly as the first one; but eventually, the interview has somehow shifted into the most relaxed and casual conversation that Ashton has had the chance to have in who knows how long. They take turns talking about their hobbies (Luke enjoys singing and baking, and he usually sings while he bakes), their mutual interest in all things musical (Luke used to play the guitar), and sharing cute stories about the children in their lives (Luke has the most adorable nephew).
At some point, Ashton moves to the other sofa and sits next to Luke to show him countless baby pictures like the proud daddy that he is. It’s been a long time since Ashton has gushed about his children to someone who doesn’t already know them, and it’s extra nice because Luke is genuinely interested in every little thing. But it’s not only due to the fact that he wants to become the new nanny. Ashton can tell that Luke really does adore children, and he’s exactly the type of person that this family needs.
“This was taken a few months ago on Halloween,” Ashton explains as he hands Luke yet another photo of the girls. “They both wanted to be Little Red Riding Hood and refused to believe me when I said that there was only one Little Red in the story, so I went along with it and bought two of the same costumes. And since we always dress up as a family, Billie was the wolf and I had to be Granny.”
Ashton hands Luke another picture that had been taken, this time featuring the four of them together, and it fills him with even more joy when he sees the way that Luke’s face splits into the biggest grin.
“Aww!” Luke coos, and he carefully holds the photo between his fingers as if it were the most valuable treasure. “This has to be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! And dare I say it, but you sure do make a pretty Granny.”
Ashton giggles in such a way that could light up even the darkest of rooms. Though slightly embarrassed at first, he relaxes again when Luke also giggles, still giving all of his attention to the photograph. It’s more than obvious that he has passed the first part of the day’s interview, so Ashton figures that it’s time to move on to the second half.
“Speaking of which,” he says, grabbing Luke’s attention again, “would you like to meet my daughters now?”
Luke nods without hesitation. “I’d love to!”
A moment later, Ashton escorts Luke into the family room where the children are. He sighs with relief when he finds that they’ve obeyed his request from earlier, since he had honestly expected otherwise. Instead of paying attention to the end of Alice and Wonderland, Lillie and Annie are entertaining themselves with a game of patty cake while Billie quietly chews on the stuffed monkey in his play pen. He looks rather sleepy, so Ashton makes a mental note to take him upstairs for his nap soon.
“Lillie, Annie,” he calls out to get their attention. “Come and say hello to our guest, Nanny Luke.”
The girls stand up from the floor without question and do as they’re told. However, they approach their father and Luke with the most confused expressions on their faces, and it isn’t difficult to figure out the cause of it. Ashton hadn’t mentioned the gender of the first applicant, and since neither of the girls actually say hello or anything else for that matter, Ashton speaks for them.
“This is Lillie,” he says, gesturing to the small, curly-headed blonde girl on the left. “Like the flower, but spelt with two L’s and the letters I and E instead of a Y. My other daughter is named Annie, and they’re identical twins but you can tell them apart by—”
“Freckles,” Luke finishes for him. He smiles at Ashton before squatting down to be at the same height as the twins. “Annie has light freckles dusted across her nose and cheeks, while Lillie does not. Lillie does, however, have the faintest little beauty mark beneath her right eye. It’s easy enough to remember the difference.”
Okay, so Ashton has to admit that he’s very impressed. At first glance, the twins look exactly alike; but upon closer look, they have more physical differences than most people are aware of. Or care about, for that matter. Luke most certainly cares, though. Ashton didn’t think that he could like Luke even more than he already does, but it appears that he’d been wrong.
“Hi there, I’m Luke!” he chirps, speaking to both of them at once with a friendly smile.
Finally, Lillie says, “Are you the new nanny?”
“Well, that all depends,” he answers.
“Depends?” Annie inquires.
“Yeah, it depends on whether or not you and your daddy decide that you like me and want me to stay with you.”
The confusion on the girls’ faces changes to that of enlightenment, now that they have a clear understanding of what’s going on. Ashton is just grateful that they don’t seem hesitant or wary, especially considering the hole that Mrs. S left in their little hearts. He had figured that they’d immediately shun another nanny in fear that history would repeat itself, but that doesn’t seem to be the case as of now. In fact, Luke’s presence seems to intrigue them.
“You’re a boy and a nanny, too?” Lillie asks, and her tone suggests that she finds it to be quite amazing.
“I am,” Luke replies with a laugh.
Annie adds, “We’ve never had a boy nanny before.”
“Well then,” Luke starts, and he places his right hand over his heart as if to make an oath. “I can promise that I don’t have any cooties on me.”
The girls actually giggle at that, and even Ashton can’t stop himself from grinning. He can tell that they’re going to get along just fine.
“Say, how about letting Luke play with you both while daddy fixes lunch?” Ashton proposes.
The twins eagerly nod at the same time.
“Wanna play Legos with us?” Lillie suggests, and she holds out a hand for Luke to take.
Luke nods. “I like the sound of that,” he says, and allows himself to be led over to the abandoned pile of Legos in the middle of the room.
The point of having the nanny candidates play with the children is so that the parent gets a first look at how they interact with each other. Obviously, this part is just as important as the questions and answers segment, and it’s advised that the parent doesn’t watch the nanny like a hawk during this time so that they’ll also get a glimpse of how the nanny behaves when the parent is out of sight. That’s why Ashton busies himself with making sandwiches for lunch, and every now and then, he checks in on them to see if everything is going well.
Now, let’s just say that everything couldn’t be any better. Just like little Billie, who joins in on their Lego fun once taken out of his play pen, Lillie and Annie warm up to Luke incredibly fast. Actually, they do a lot more than simply warm up to him, because it’s clear that they’ve already declared him as their new best friend.
Even from the kitchen, Ashton can hear their laughter and Billie’s squeals of joy. He can’t recall the last person who made his children laugh like this. Not even Mrs. S was able to pull this off during her interview many months ago. It’s almost hard to believe that any of this is real, but every time that Ashton walks by the family room, he’s pleasantly surprised to find that it is. With a warm smile on his face, he watches Luke playfully tickle the girls, give eskimo kisses to Billie, and entertain them with a couple of sock puppets that he brought along in his little brown bag. Their laughter and their angelic smiles are contagious, and for a moment, it’s as if Luke has always been with them from the very beginning.
The next time that Ashton walks into the family room to summon them for lunch, he’s both confused and amused when he finds Luke and the girls spinning in circles. They both laugh just as loudly as before, when Luke gives up and plops down on the carpet again to catch his breath.
“I hope that I’m not interrupting anything too important,” Ashton says, grinning cheekily.
“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Luke laughs. “They were just teaching me some of their ballet moves. As it turns out, I’m not that good!”
“It’s okay,” Annie tells him. “You’re still better at spinning than daddy is.”
“Oi, I’m not that terrible!” Ashton argues, but the girls erupt into giggles before he’s even done with that sentence. “Anyway, it’s time to eat lunch now. Make sure you’ve washed your hands with soap before you sit down at the table, girls.”
“Okay!” they reply in unison as they dash out of the room and down the hallway.
Once they’ve gone, Luke scoops Billie into his arms and stands up again. His original plan was probably to hand Billie over to Ashton, but the worn out baby rests his head on Luke’s shoulder and it doesn’t look like he wants to be bothered anytime soon.
“Uh oh, looks like someone’s sleepy,” Luke murmurs. He gently rubs Billie’s back and kisses the top of his head. “How about some lunch first, hm?”
Even just watching this small bit of interaction makes Ashton feel weak in the knees. He’s not sure what it is, but there’s something about seeing Luke with a small babe in his arms that makes it the cutest sight ever, a sight that makes Ashton feel all sorts of good things inside. But even more than that, he wants to know how.
“How do you do it?” Ashton wonders aloud.
Luke finally looks up at him with the most innocent expression, one that reminds Ashton of his own children, as strange as it is.
“Do what?” he asks, cocking his head to the side. It only makes it ten times worse.
“Well… everything,” Ashton replies. “Lillie and Annie absolutely adore you. That much is obvious. But even Billie seems to have taken a strong liking to you as well, and I can honestly say that that’s never happened before. He’s never been too comfortable with strangers, but when it comes to you, it’s as if… you’re not a stranger at all? So, I’m just wondering, how do you do it?”
Luke really does take a moment to give the question some thought, while Ashton continues to stand there, amazed at just how good this guy is. Hell, it’s an even bigger mystery that he isn’t already a father himself, because he’d obviously make a damn good one.
“I… guess I’m just a natural?” he says at last, and once again, the bashful grin has made its return. “I don’t know, I just do my best to keep them smiling. As long as they’ve got a smile on their faces, then I assume that I must be doing something right.”
Well, it certainly isn’t a bad answer and it does make a bit of sense, so Ashton will accept it for now.
Next, he invites Luke to stay for lunch and leads him into the kitchen, where he’s forced to watch with amusement as the girls argue over who gets to sit next to Luke. In the end, Luke sits next to Billie’s highchair and encourages the baby as he attempts to use a spoon to eat the special carrot soup that Ashton made for him.
Meanwhile, the girls are more talkative than ever. They spend more time asking Luke question after question and less time actually eating their lunches, but of course Luke doesn’t mind it. They’re just trying to get to know him a little better, so they ask the first things that come to mind.
“What’s your favorite color?” Lillie asks.
“Blue! What’s yours?”
“Blue!”
“Wow, really?”
“No,” she admits. “But it is now.”
Everyone sitting at the table laughs. Even Billie, who has no clue what’s going on but is just happy to be there with them.
“Do you like cookies?” Annie asks next.
“I love cookies,” Luke tells her. “Especially the chocolate chip ones with M&Ms inside!”
“Mrs. S always made us yummy cookies with chocolate chips,” Lillie says.
Luke tilts his head to the side. “Mrs. S?”
“The previous nanny,” Ashton explains. “She used to bake for them quite often, is all.”
“I see, I see. Let’s make a deal, then.” Luke leans forward and glances back and forth between the girls with a mischievous grin. “If it turns out that my cookies are even yummier than the ones you’ve had before, will you teach me to do the spinny ballet thing again?”
The girls nods without a second thought on the matter.
“Okay, I’ll teach you!” Lillie says.
“Me too! Me too!” Annie exclaims.
Luke chuckles and says, “Then it’s a deal!”
After lunch is when the interview officially meets its end. During past interviews with previous nannies, this is the point in which Ashton usually goes over everything that he enjoyed about the nanny’s methods. However, because he can’t think of a single thing that Luke isn’t good at, Ashton doesn’t even know where to begin. That’s how he ends up spending the next five minutes praising Luke for his childcare skills, until the younger man has gone completely red in the face. His smile is one of total gratitude, though, and Ashton can hardly wait to see him again.
“Girls!” Ashton calls out. “Come and say goodbye to Luke!”
A few seconds later, they’re joined by the sound of small feet pitter-pattering against the hardwood floor, and then the twins appear from around the corner, once again looking as if they have a million and one questions to ask.
“You’re leaving?” Lillie asks incredulously.
“Already?” Annie adds with just as much emotion.
Before either adult can answer that question, the twins charge at Luke at once, clinging to his legs and expressing their disapproval with a chorus of “no, no, please don’t leave!” It’s safe to say that this strong reaction was completely unexpected and Ashton is briefly rendered speechless at their odd behavior, but he quickly snaps out of it and attempts to chastise them for misbehaving.
“Lillie, Annie, that’s enough,” he says in a warning tone, but they easily ignore him. That’s when Ashton glances back up at Luke with an apologetic look on his face, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I’m really sorry, they’re not usually like this…”
“It’s fine, nothing I can’t handle,” Luke tells him in a tone of confidence. He then bends down to the girls’ height and accepts their hugs, holding them close to his chest and gently patting them on their backs. When he pulls away, he smiles at them. “There’s no reason to be sad, angels. How about turning those frowns upside down for Nanny Luke, hm?”
The girls do attempt to smile, but their sadness outweighs their efforts.
“Aww, I know that you can do much better than that! See, I’ll prove it.”
Suddenly, Luke begins tickling the both of them. In an instant, Lillie and Annie erupt into a fit of giggles and he doesn’t show them mercy until tears have formed at the corners of their eyes. Afterwards, they’re still smiling at him with toothy grins and nodding at every word that he says, as he promises that they will see each other again soon.
This is the moment in which Ashton finally comes to a decision and realizes what must be done. Seeing just how much the girls (and Billie) adore Luke to the point of refusing to let him leave, Ashton would be a fool not to hire the guy right on the spot. Sure, it’s a bit of a risky decision because there’s still four other nannies that Ashton had wanted to interview, but the truth is that no one is as unique as Luke. Luke is patient, kind, funny, and he understands the children in a way that not even Ashton feels like he does. And after today, he doubts that the girls will be as welcoming to the other potential nannies because of the great effect that Luke has had on them in just these past couple of hours.
In addition to how much the children adore Luke, Ashton has to admit that he’s beginning to develop a soft spot for the nanny as well. It’s just that he and Luke really click together in a way that Ashton hasn’t clicked with anyone in a long, long time, and he has enjoyed Luke’s company to the fullest. It certainly wouldn’t be a bad thing to have him around all the time, so with this thought in mind, Ashton finally goes for it.
“Actually,” he speaks up, gaining their attention. “I think that… Luke really should stay, at least for a little while longer. This will give us plenty of time to go over the contract and set up a move-in date for you.”
At first, it doesn’t look as if Luke has the slightest clue of what Ashton is trying to say, but once it finally clicks, he looks about as excited as a child who’s just been told that they’re going to Disneyland. It’s quite amusing, to be honest.
“You mean that I’m hired?” he asks, just because it sounds too good to be true.
Ashton confirms it with a nod and an honest smile.
“That’s exactly what I mean! Welcome to the family, Luke.”
It’s only when he says those words that Lillie and Annie are able to process what’s going on, and then the two of them are jumping up and down with tremendous joy and excitement. They ask Luke if he’s really going to stay and be their new nanny, and Luke tells them that there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Ashton’s never seen a sight so precious, and since there’s plenty of time to discuss details and contracts, he doesn’t disrupt their little reunion—despite the fact that Luke hadn’t even left to begin with.
And so for the first time in the past week, Ashton starts to feel like he has a bit of control over his life again.
***
Once all of the formal paperwork has been taken care of, Luke moves into the Irwin household just a few days later. Ashton has never seen Lillie and Annie as excited as they are on the morning that Luke shows up on their doorstep, carrying two suitcases and wearing a smile even brighter than the sun. He’s not the only one full of smiles today, either. Ashton is relieved to know that with a nanny in the house to take care of the children, he can finally catch up on the work that he’s been neglecting. All that he has to do is help Luke get settled in and explain some of the house rules that must be followed. The rest will come naturally.
“First things first,” Ashton says, “I’ll show you to your room and then give you a tour of the house so that you’ll never have to worry about getting lost. Does that sound good to you?”
Luke, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he arrived over ten minutes ago, nods his head.
“Sounds perfect to me.”
Lillie, however, has other plans.
“I want to do it,” she says to her father, visibly pouting now. “You said that I could do it.”
Ashton chuckles. “Of course, love. How could I have forgotten? Lillie and Annie will show you to your room and then give you a tour of our home, while I follow behind and make sure that you feel as welcomed as you should be. Now, does that sound good?”
Lillie gives a curt nod. “Thank you.”
A second later, the twins grab Luke by the hands and begin tugging him in the direction of the grand staircase.
“Come on! Come on!” Annie says, urging Luke to walk faster. “You have to see your room! You have to see it!”
Luke simply laughs. “Alright, alright, I’ll hurry.”
Even so, he doesn’t miss a chance to glance at all of his surroundings. The Irwin home contains almost as many wall paintings as a very miniature art museum, since Charlotte had been a collector. The fancy paintings on the wall is only the tip of the iceberg, however.
Most of the furniture is rather old with a vintage feel to them; but not in the way that each piece was bought in a garage sale and still contains old cigarette burns on the cushions. No, definitely not that. More like, the furniture was owned by someone else a very long time ago, yet never actually used. In fact, all of the pieces still had plastic on them and remained in pristine condition, back when Ashton first bought them. Now, one might wonder why such valuable furniture is kept in a house with young children, but all of the more expensive furniture sits in the living room and the children aren’t allowed to go in there. The twins obey these rules, for the most part.
Luke’s bedroom is the first room on the right side just near the staircase. There are a total of two guest bedrooms within the home, one on the first floor and another on the second floor. Being a much older woman, Mrs. S used to inhabit the one on the first floor to prevent her from having to climb the stairs so many times a day. Although she left the room as spotless as if she had never lived there at all, Ashton figured that Luke would be more comfortable in a room that has been vacant for a longer period of time.
Lillie is quick to open the door to the guestroom and lead Luke inside by the hand.
“This is where you have to sleep,” she tells him, pointing to the bed against the wall as if he can’t see it himself.
“Do you like it?” Annie asks, and she stares up at him with a big, toothy grin as he glances around the room. When he’s finished, he looks down at her with a smile that’s equally as excited as her own.
“I love it,” Luke says. He glances over his shoulder and watches Ashton set the suitcases down near the doorway, then adds: “I really, really do. Honestly, I think it’s even bigger than the little apartment that I was staying in. Are you sure that I get to live in here?”
Ashton nods. “Of course! You didn’t think that we’d stick you in a closet, did ya? As the saying goes, mi casa es su casa. I think. I’m not really sure, foreign languages have never been my strong point.”
Luke laughs softly. “Well, you’re not wrong.” A second later, he gasps and turns to Ashton once again. “Oh, by the way! I was kind of wondering if I’m allowed to hang a few things along the walls? Just a few personal items that I brought with me. And don’t worry, it’s nothing provocative or anything like that.”
“Um, sure? Yeah, go ahead. I don’t really mind,” Ashton says, shrugging. “Feel free to do whatever you want with the room, just try not to drill any holes in the walls or build a secret laboratory of some sort, alright?”
Understanding the reference, Luke ends up laughing again.
“You have my word,” he says, and then he winks.
The twins seem to grow impatient with the brief staring contest going down between their father and the new nanny, because once again, they take Luke by the hands and begin to lead him out of the bedroom and into the hallway once more. Ashton simply follows behind and lets the girls have their bit of fun.
“This is my room!” Lillie announces as they arrive at another door just down the hall.
“Hey! It’s my room, too!” Annie corrects her.
In response, Lillie sighs dramatically and revises her original statement.
“This is our room, and it’s the bestest one in the whole entire house.”
With that, she opens the door and charges into the room with Annie following right behind her. They show Luke which bed belongs to each of them, where they keep their clothes and their toys, the many story books in the little bookcase near the corner, and they even let him meet Mr. Fluff, their most favorite stuffed bunny rabbit.
They don’t move on with the tour until the last task is completed, and Ashton half expects Luke to be exhausted by now because he himself is feeling a little tired just watching the girls run around like this. But if anything, Luke appears to be even more excited now, and Ashton is a mix between impressed and worried that this guy is abnormal as it gets.
Well, at least he knows that one thing is for certain. Never again will he underestimate Luke’s tolerance for hyperactive five year olds.
Next, they find themselves standing outside of the nursery. Annie opens the door as quietly as possible, but they don’t enter the room because Ashton doesn’t allow them to. That’s only due to the fact that Billie is currently taking his late morning nap, and he gets rather fussy whenever he’s awakened from it. If there’s one thing that puts Billie in a foul mood, it’s having his sleep disturbed.
“Billie sleeps in here,” Annie whispers to Luke. “You can say hi to him later when he’s awake.”
“Alright, I’ll put that on my to-do list,” Luke whispers back to her.
After leaving the nursery, they move onto the bathroom and Ashton’s exercise room, and since the use of those rooms is rather self-explanatory, they don’t spend much time there. Eventually they find themselves outside of Ashton’s office, and the girls come to a halt right in front of the door.
“This is where daddy works and does the grown-up stuffs,” Lillie explains. “We can’t go in there unless daddy is in there, too.”
Both Lillie and Annie turn to Ashton in unison, and even if they won’t ask out loud, he knows exactly what it is that they’re hoping for. Even Luke has a look of curiosity on his face, but being the only other adult in the group, he knows that it’s polite not to ask for permission to enter such an obviously private room. However, now it’s Ashton’s turn to impress the new nanny, so he smiles at his daughters and pretends to be nonchalant about the whole thing.
“Well, daddy just so happens to be standing right here, so you can go on and show Nanny Luke the office if you’d like.”
Because they’re obviously just bursting with excitement, Lillie and Annie reach for the doorknob at the same time. They push it open together and quickly lead Luke into the small room, but since they’re far too young to explain what everything is, like the multiple computer screens and the musical instruments, Ashton does the rest for them.
“As you can see, this is where I compose the music that I make. I guess there isn’t actually much to see, but—”
“Wait, you’re a composer?” Luke interrupts, whirling around so fast that Ashton nearly bumps into him. Currently, the curious look from only a moment ago has made way for one of sheer amazement, as if he’s just realized that he’s in the presence of a celebrity or something.
“I am, yeah, but I mean—I’m definitely no Hans Zimmer, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ashton huffs out a short laugh in an attempt to rid himself of the subtle blush on his cheeks, despite knowing that it won’t go away as long as Luke keeps gazing at him like this. “But, um, yeah. I compose for much smaller films, and sometimes other things like commercials.”
“Wow,” Luke mutters in awe. “That’s amazing!”
“You really think so?”
“Well, why wouldn’t I? I really love how you’ve decorated the room, too. It looks just like an actual studio! Are those real vinyls on the wall?”
Ashton can say that he definitely hadn’t expected Luke to be so intrigued by the room or his occupation, but it certainly does give him the ego boost that he’s been needing. He spends the next few minutes showing Luke his collection of vintage records and letting him listen to a sample of a soundtrack that he’s working on, until the twins grow impatient again because they’re ready to move on with the tour. Ashton only relents after promising to show Luke some more at another time.
Once back in the hallway, Lillie points at the double doors leading into the last room on the second floor.
“That’s where daddy sleeps,” she explains, and then she gasps as an idea suddenly comes to mind. “Wanna see the bed? It’s super duper big!”
“And bouncy!” Annie chimes in.
Of course, being the adorably innocent little angels that they are, obviously neither of them understand the implication behind those words. So before it gets any worse and Ashton’s face goes as red as an apple, he loudly clears his throats and gives them his best smile.
“Or, you can take Luke downstairs and show him the rest of the house! I’m sure that he wants to see your playroom and the backyard. Don’t you, Luke? Of course he does. Girls, lead the way!”
The look on Luke’s face tells Ashton that he’s trying extremely hard not to laugh right now. He doesn’t say anything, though, and simply lets the twins lead him back to the staircase.
“Let’s go, Luke, I wanna show you my bike!”
“You have to see mine, too!”
They’re gone in an instant, leaving Ashton to his own vices for the time being.
The rest of the morning goes by smoothly and lunchtime is a repeat of the first time that Luke joined them for a meal. The girls strike up an undying conversation and Luke gushes over Billie, who seems to gush over him as well. But even after lunch, they’re unwilling to leave Luke’s side. At most, Lillie and Annie cease following him around for about twenty minutes while he unpacks his things and gets settled in his new bedroom, and the only reason that they don’t sit in his room and watch is because Ashton requests that they give him a bit of space. Of course, he can’t expect a couple of children to completely understand what that means, but they do as he says because they know that Luke will come out and play with them eventually.
It’s not until approximately three in the afternoon when things begin to go astray.
Lillie and Annie are currently demonstrating their fancy ballet moves to Luke once again to show him how it’s properly done, while Luke sits on the floor in front of them with Billie propped up in his lap. Luke claps for them every time that they perform a perfect spin, and he presses Billie’s hands together to make him clap as well. Ashton is content with sitting back and watching the four of them, until he’s interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.
As soon as he gets to the kitchen where it’s much quieter, Ashton answers with a casual greeting when he sees who’s trying to reach him.
“Hey, Cal. How’s it going?”
Calum loudly speaks into the phone. “You better not be busy, because I think I’ve just landed you the perfect deal!”
“Deal? What deal?” Ashton frowns, already suspicious. Regardless of his own curiosity, he shakes his head and responds, “Never mind that, I actually am kind of busy today. The new nanny moved in this morning, so the kids and I are helping him get settled in. Y’know, by making him feel welcomed and whatnot.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Him?” Calum snorts. “You hired a dude nanny? Is that, like, a real thing? Huh, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”
Ashton just rolls his eyes. “Yes, I hired a dude nanny, and yes, it’s a thing. It’s 2016, Cal, get with the times.”
“Pfft, have you forgotten that I’m married to a guy who has dyed his hair all the colors of the rainbow? Twice?”
“Point taken. Anyway, his name is Luke and the girls practically love him already. I mean, even Billie warmed up to him rather quickly! And listen to this: during lunchtime today, my little sunshine did the cutest thing where he—”
“Ashton, for the love of god,” Calum groans. “As much as I just love hearing stories about the adorable things that Billie does, we’re running on limited time here and I need you to get your ass down to the studio if this is going to work out.”
“If what is going to work out, exactly? You still haven’t told me about this so-called deal of yours, whatever that means.”
“Okay, so the guys and I were chilling out in the studio and getting ready to write, just like we always do. But then some dude in a fancy business suit shows up, and I don’t know who the fuck he is because I’ve never seen him in my life, but apparently he’s some really big producer. Or, at least one who actually makes good money. Anyway, so he recently just finished making this movie where—”
“Calum, will you just get to the freakin’ point already? While I’m young, please.”
“Well, excuse me,” Calum scoffs. “As I was trying to say, I may or may not have bragged to him about knowing a really good music composer by the name of Ashton Fletcher Irwin, and he may or may not want to hear some of your stuff to decide if he wants you to compose a soundtrack for his film. And as the sweet, kind, and helpful best friend that I am, I may have told him that you’d be able to swing by with a sample within the next hour.”
It takes another moment or two before Ashton finally understands everything that’s going on, and then he’s not quite sure how to feel about it. Excitement? Joy? Panic? Because he’s already beginning to feel anxious about possibly not being good enough for this supposedly “big” producer, or that he won’t make it to the studio in Downtown Los Angeles in time. Either way, he knows that he has to at least try. These type of opportunities don’t come often, so he’d be a giant fool not to take a chance.
“Wow, I… really don’t know what to say.”
Calum laughs easily, then his voice trails off as he greets someone in the background. When he speaks again, the excitement has returned in his tone.
“You can thank me after you get the job! You will show up, won’t you? He says he’s got places to be, things to do. He won’t be here forever.”
Ashton finally snaps out of his daze and begins aimlessly pacing around the kitchen, his thoughts flowing faster by the second.
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there! Try to keep him there for as long as you can, alright? I have to handle a couple of things, grab a sample, and then I’ll be on my way!”
“Alright, I’ll do whatever I can. But you better hurry, you and I both know that I’m not the best at stalling.”
They end the call at the same time, and Ashton doesn’t waste another moment. He powerwalks back into the family room where Luke and the children are still playing together, and though he feels really bad for what he’s about to ask from the other man, he knows that it must be done.
“Hey Luke, can I speak with you for a moment?”
Luke nods and stands up without question. “Sure thing.”
Before he can even take more than two steps, Lillie begins to whine.
“But daddy, it’s Lukey’s turn to take one of the blocks!” she says, pointing to the game of Jenga that they’ve just begun to play.
“Then I promise not to keep him for long,” Ashton reassures her.
“Billie can take my turn for now,” Luke suggests, “so why don’t you and Annie show him how to play, alright?”
The twins agree to this plan without further argument, and begin to show their baby brother how to carefully pull off one of the blocks. Now that that’s been taken care of, Ashton leads Luke into the kitchen, and he can’t help the smile on his face when the first thing that he says is:
“Lukey? Is that the nickname they’ve settled on, or have people always called you that?”
Luke’s laugh is just as bashful as his smile, and he shrugs at the question.
“I don’t know, they randomly started to call me that so I’ve basically accepted my fate,” he says, and then sighs dramatically. “But no, I can’t recall anyone else calling me Lukey before. Although, my… my dad used to call me Lewi, for some reason I’ll never know.”
Ashton honest to god cackles. “Lewi! Now that’s adorable.”
In the midst of his laughter, Ashton suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to be in a rush right now. So, he ceases with the teasing even though Luke doesn’t seem to mind it one bit, and is actually laughing with him.
“Anyway, I needed to speak with you because something has come up and… well, I really didn’t want to have to leave you alone on your first day, but there’s just no way around it.”
Ashton pauses to make sure that Luke is still with him, and when he doesn’t find a trace of confusion on the other’s face, he moves on.
“You see, I have this friend who’s in the music business just like me, except that he writes songs for famous pop singers like Ariana Grande and whoever else the young people are into these days. Anyway, he met a producer today who just might hire me to compose the soundtrack for his new film! Well, if he decides that I’m talented enough.”
After hearing that last bit, Luke gasps and claps his hands together excitedly.
“Ashton, that’s wonderful! This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it? Your big break?”
“It’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for, and that’s why I really can’t pass up the opportunity. Still, I don’t want to overwhelm you by making you watch the kids on your very first day. So if you want, I can just bring them with me or have someone else—”
Luke shakes his head and rests a hand on Ashton’s shoulder. “Ash, come on. Watching children is my job, you don’t have to worry about me! I mean, what kind of nanny would I be if I couldn’t handle a few hours of playing with dolls and watching Spongebob Squarepants? I really don’t mind, and I’m not just saying that because Spongebob happens to be my favorite cartoon. So go on and do what you need to do, I’ve got things covered here.”
Perhaps those words are just what Ashton needs to hear in this moment, because he feels a great weight being lifted from his shoulders that has nothing to do with Luke removing his hand. Right now, he feels as if things really will be okay. He’s not alone anymore, Luke is here to help.
“Luke, you are a saint,” he says, sighing with relief. “Thank you so much for understanding. Now before I leave, I want to make sure that I’m not just leaving you in the dark. I had a few things planned out and there are some rules to go over, so are you ready to hear them?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Alright, so the girls know all of the rules and shouldn’t give you any trouble, but just in case, you should know that they’re not allowed to go outside without adult supervision. Pretty standard, right? But the thing is, if you decide to let them play in the backyard, just make sure that they keep away from the pink rose bushes along the side of the house. They belonged to my wife, and I don’t want them to get ruined.
“Also, I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight, but it doesn’t look like I’ll make it back in time. If you know how to cook spaghetti, you’re welcome to give a shot—in fact, I’ll send you a link to the recipe that I always follow. Oh, and I should probably warn you that Lillie is a very picky eater. The only thing that she loves to eat are fruits such as bananas and grapes, which makes it difficult to ensure that she gets the right amount of grains and protein and whatnot. So if she tries to say that she’s too full to eat another bite, I can tell you now that she’s most likely fooling you. Just keep an eye on her and you should be fine. Annie, on the other hand, likes eating most things except for raisins, and Billie is… well, he’s a baby so he’ll eat the typical things that one year olds eat. Got all that?”
As if making a mental list inside of his head, Luke nods to everything that Ashton says as he’s explaining them. Once Ashton has finished, Luke nods twice in a row to show that he’s got it all memorized in the nanny hard drive located in his brain.
“Got it. Anything else?”
Ashton gives him a nervous smile. “Wish me luck?”
Luke, however, leans back against the kitchen island and chuckles.
“I have a feeling that you won’t even need it. Good luck, though. I know you’ll do great.”
Those words of encouragement are more than enough to make Ashton feel confident in himself. He stops wasting time in the kitchen and explains to the girls that he’ll be back later in the evening, so for the time being, Luke is in charge. Afterwards, Ashton rushes up to his office to pick out a sample of one of his best soundtracks, and when he thinks that he’s chosen the best one, his legs carry him back downstairs and to the front door.
“So you remember the rules, right?” he asks as he quickly tugs on a jacket.
Luke nods. “I do.”
“And you have the schedule that I gave to you so that you’ll know when it’s dinner time, bath time, and bed time?”
“Yep. Memorized it when you gave it to me last week, but I’ll make sure to double check.”
“Good, good. And are you sure that you can handle this—?”
“Ashton, I can promise you that the world won’t end in the few hours that you’ll be gone. Okay?”
“Right,” Ashton laughs, albeit nervously. “Okay.”
Just before he leaves, Luke gently squeezes his arm and tells him that he can and will do this. That kind and selfless gesture is all that it takes for Ashton to believe it, too. He’s going to get this job and nothing will stand in his way.
***
Ashton doesn’t get back home until a quarter to nine. It’s largely due to heavy traffic along the highway leading out of Downtown Los Angeles, but also partly due to the fact that he actually did it. He managed to get the job and the film producer, Mr. Fischer, liked him so much that he offered to buy Ashton a drink and continue their discussion in a more relaxed setting. Thankfully, he took no offense when Ashton declined the offer and explained that he needed to get back home as soon as possible, and now here he is, home at last.
The house is unusually silent when Ashton steps through the front door, which is surprising because the girls still have half an hour to play before bedtime. It’s only when he enters the family room that he’s able to understand the silence. He finds the cutest sight of all: his daughters curled up on the sofa on either sides of Luke, fast asleep while the Spongebob Squarepants movie plays on the television. Luke glances up from his phone when he notices Ashton enter the room, and a welcoming smile instantly makes its way onto his face.
“Welcome back,” he whispers just loud enough for Ashton to hear, but still quietly enough so that he won’t awaken the girls.
Ashton easily returns the smile and carefully lifts up the white box in his hands.
“I brought cake. Want a slice?”
That’s essentially what leads Luke to wiggle out of the twins’ embrace and stand up from the sofa to follow Ashton into the kitchen. Ashton sets the cake box down in the middle of the kitchen island and retrieves a couple of plates, forks, and a knife for them to cut it with. It’s just a plain, white two-layered cake with buttermilk frosting, since Ashton has yet to discover what flavor of cake Luke enjoys. But he seems to have made a wise decision, because Luke hums with delight as the first forkful touches his tongue.
“So how was everything here? It doesn’t seem like you ran into any problems.”
“Nope, no problems at all,” Luke confirms. He licks a bit of frosting from his bottom lip and grins. “We played Jenga for ages, and then I tried out the spaghetti recipe that you linked to me. It must have turned out pretty nicely, since the girls didn’t complain and neither did Billie. They helped me clean up after that, and then I put Billie to bed a little early because he kept falling asleep on my chest. Afterwards, I put Spongebob on and the girls ended up falling asleep halfway through it. So to sum it up, I guess I’d say that things went perfectly.”
Ashton listens to all of that in pure amazement. The twins actually helped him clean up after dinner? Lillie didn’t throw a fit about having to eat spaghetti and meatballs? It sounds a little too good to be true, but Ashton can tell that Luke isn’t lying. He has no reason to lie, after all. Therefore, the only plausible explanation is that he really is the super nanny that Ashton has been dreaming of hiring.
“How did it go at the studio?” Luke asks, just like Ashton figured that he would.
Not wanting to make a huge deal out of it because he’s always been the modest type, Ashton merely shrugs and raises the fork to his lips again. Just before taking a bite of the sweet cake, he answers casually:
“It went pretty well, I think.”
Luke arches his brows. “You think?”
“Yeah.” Ashton glances up at him and smiles. “I got the job.”
For a moment it looks as if Luke is ready to give a loud cheer, but at the last second, he remembers that Lillie and Annie are still sleeping in the other room. So instead of cheering loudly, he grins from ear to ear and holds up his palm for a high-five, which Ashton gladly delivers.
“I knew that you would,” he says afterwards, licking his fork clean. “Didn’t doubt it for a second.”
That humble, borderline insecure side of Ashton begins to flare up again, and he takes a moment to close the box of cake and store it within the refrigerator before replying to those words.
“Pretty optimistic for someone who’s only heard a sample of my work.”
Luke only shrugs and leans against the counter. “Well, I know good music when I hear it, and you just so happen to be a musical genius.”
The sincere compliment brings a blush to Ashton’s cheeks, and he takes those words to heart. He’s pretty sure that he hasn’t done anything to deserve such kindness from someone who doesn’t owe him anything, but he can’t deny that it’s a pleasant feeling. Luke is still watching him with those piercing blue eyes, but they aren’t intimidating and they don’t make Ashton want to look away. Instead, they make him feel validated, in a strange sort of way.
“Thank you,” he mutters.
Luke responds by smiling again and he finally breaks eye contact, looking down at the empty plate with scattered crumbs and frosting residue.
“There’s something that I’d like to ask you about, but I’m not sure if it’s in my place to do so.”
That immediately gets Ashton’s attention again, and though he begins to frown, he nods because his curiosity never fails to get the best of him.
“What is it?”
“Feel free to tell me if I should just mind my own business,” Luke blurts out, and then he pauses to think about how to word the question. “But it’s about your wife. I was just wondering… what happened to her?”
“Her name was Charlotte and she passed away,” Ashton answers without hesitation. “She got really sick with viral pneumonia when she was pregnant with Billie and it weakened her a great deal. She’d never been the strongest person where physical health was concerned, so it ended up taking her life during labor. We almost lost Billie as well.”
A short moment of silence stretches between them, a reaction that Ashton is used to by now. It’s not the first, the second, nor the third time that he’s explained this to anyone and it no longer pains him to talk about it. In fact, he’s at a point where he doesn’t feel anything at all when speaking about it. Nothing except the tiny slither of guilt that never seems to fade away no matter how much time goes by. Even so, it doesn’t mean that he likes talking about it, either.
“I’m sorry,” Luke eventually tells him, and that’s what they always say. “I know that I probably shouldn’t have asked, it’s just that the girls talk about her as if she’s just… gone away for a while, so I assumed that you were divorced but it didn’t make sense because you still wear your wedding ring, but uh, yeah. I’ll just stop talking now.”
There’s only one part of Luke’s nervous rambling that Ashton actually pays attention to.
“Wait, they’ve talked to you about her? Lillie and Annie?”
“A little bit, yeah,” Luke answers. “They said that when she comes back, they’re going to introduce me to her… I wouldn’t be too alarmed, though. Most children at their age have a really vague understanding of death. Sometimes they don’t understand that it’s a permanent thing and they usually see it as something that happens to other people, without realizing that someday it’ll happen to them, too.”
All of this comes as a total surprise to Ashton. Before now, he had no idea that this is how his daughters have been dealing with the death of their mother for the past year, probably because he never took the time to sit with them and explain the situation in depth. He’s been too busy focusing on his own mourning and using his work to distract himself every day, not realizing that his girls need him now more than ever.
It’s no wonder that they blame him for their mother’s absence, especially since Ashton hasn’t given them any reason not to.
“I suppose this makes me a pretty bad father,” Ashton mutters, though mainly to himself.
Luke apparently does not agree with that. “What are you talking about? Ashton, nothing could be further from the truth.”
“Luke,” Ashton sighs, shaking his head. “While I do appreciate your kindness, you can’t possibly know if you’ve only been here for one day…”
“Exactly. I’ve been here just one day and so far, you’ve shown nothing but the fiercest love, care, and protection for all three of your children. Now tell me, how exactly does that make you a terrible father in the slightest?”
Of course Ashton’s natural instinct is to argue and exemplify self-deprecation, but he also knows that it’s a ridiculous thing to argue about in the first place. If anything, he should be honored and grateful that Luke thinks he’s better than he actually is. He should take the compliment just because it’s the polite thing to do, even if he disagrees with it. It doesn’t make any sense to try and prove that he is all the bad things that he sees himself as, so for now, he doesn’t say anything at all.
Luke takes Ashton’s silence as acceptance, which explains why he gives Ashton that signature smile and says:
“Just give it some time. I know that things have been tough, but soon enough, you’ll believe in yourself as much as I believe in you now.”
***
Later in the night, Ashton is awakened by the sound of Billie’s cries coming through the baby monitor. Being exhausted from the day’s events, he tells himself that it’s just a dream and that the crying will stop eventually, just because he really doesn’t want to get out of bed. But the universe clearly isn’t on his side, and the crying doesn’t come to an end until Ashton is completely awake with no hope of going back to sleep anytime soon.
“Alright, Billie, alright,” he groans into the pillow, willing his legs to move. “Daddy’ll be there in a sec. Just… please, please stop crying.”
Knowing that he doesn’t have any other choice, Ashton drags himself out of bed and groans a second time when he sees that it’s just past three in the morning. His alarm is set to wake him up in less than four hours so that he’ll have a chance to go for his morning jog, which is something that he hasn’t done since before Mrs. S quit on him. Now that Luke has taken her place, Ashton can return to his normal schedule. Early morning jogs at least three times a week is at the top of his to-do list.
That is, if he isn’t too exhausted to get out of bed when he needs to, all thanks to Billie. It isn’t really his fault, though. The doctors claim that it’s normal for infants to begin having night terrors at this stage, so all that Ashton can do is deal with it for now.
A big yawn escapes Ashton’s mouth as he trudges down the long hallway, feeling as if there are weights tied to his ankles and slowing him down. Since he isn’t really thinking of much besides his desire to go back to sleep, he doesn’t notice that he can no longer hear his son’s crying. He also pays no attention to the soft voice that has replaced the crying, a soothing voice that is quietly singing the words to an all too familiar song. Ashton doesn’t process any of this until he reaches the doorway to the nursery, where he discovers that the problem has already been attended to.
Inside the room, he finds Luke standing over the crib with Billie in his arms and gentle words pouring from his lips. The detail that amazes Ashton most is the way that Billie is staring up into Luke’s eyes and Luke is looking right back at him, as if they’re sharing some sort of mutual connection that cannot be explained by words. But it’s clear that there’s a mutual understanding between them, it’s clear that Billie feels safe and comfortable in Luke’s arms, and most of all, it’s clear that Luke’s affection for Ashton’s son stems from the bottom of his heart. Not his job title.
Luke sings in a voice as smooth as honey, “Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”
It’s as if Luke’s singing has a magical effect to it. Billie starts to close his eyes and without so much as another sniffle, he’s out like a light. Luke continues humming softly and gently rocking Billie in his arms just in case, but it appears that he’s already drifting into another deep sleep.
“I had no idea that you were an Elvis fan,” Ashton speaks up, revealing himself at last.
Luke instantly whips his head towards the doorway, startled at the sudden appearance of a third person. As the shock wears down, he starts to look embarrassed upon realizing that he was being watched and listened to the whole time. Ashton doesn’t understand what’s so embarrassing about singing a baby to sleep, especially when you’ve got a voice as beautiful as that.
“Kind of, I guess,” he mumbles so as to not wake the sleeping infant in his arms. “It was just the first song that I thought of and it seemed to be working, so I just went with it…”
Ashton giggles quietly and enters the nursery. “Relax, I’m not trying to tease you. You have a very lovely voice, by the way. Now I understand why you love to sing, you’re obviously good at it.”
Even in the dark room, Ashton can see that Luke visibly blushes. They smile at each other before directing their attention to Billie, who yawns adorably but shows no signs of waking up again, thank goodness. To ensure that it remains this way, Luke carefully places him back in the crib and exits the nursery with Ashton following behind.
“I’m sorry that he disturbed your sleep,” Ashton whispers after shutting the door behind him. “He’s been having a lot of night terrors lately, and he often wakes up scared and confused. I assure you that it doesn’t happen every night, though.”
Luke chuckles suddenly. “If you’re worried that I’ll quit because of a crying baby, you’re gravely mistaken.”
“Right, right. Because you’re the super nanny. Got it,” Ashton teases.
Both of them laugh this time, filling the silent hallway with the sound of their joy. But there isn’t much to say after that, and since it’s still three in the morning and both of them are obviously eager to get back to sleep, they bid each other farewell for now.
“Well, I better get back to bed while I still can,” Ashton says, and he covers his mouth as another yawn escapes him. “So I guess this is goodnight. Again.”
“Alright. Goodnight to you, too.”
Luke waves at him as Ashton awkwardly walks backwards down the hallway, his eyes still trained on Luke’s form standing in front of the nursery. Once back in his own room, exhaustion overtakes Ashton as soon as his body crashes into the soft mattress on his bed, and he falls asleep to the soothing tune of Elvis still on his mind.
***
Eventually, Ashton decides that he would like to celebrate the wonderful opportunity that he’s been given. And since it’s mainly thanks to Calum, he invites his friends over to his home for drinks and the chance to watch the soccer game on his flat screen television. While Ashton has never been one for watching sports, he figures that it’s the easiest way to get Michael and Calum to drop everything that they’re doing and rearrange their schedules, just to come over for beer and soccer.
They show up not long before the game is supposed to start, and since Ashton is still in the kitchen preparing his homemade guacamole dip, Luke answers the door with Billie propped up on his hip and a welcoming smile on his face.
“Hello! You must be the Cliffords. I’m Luke Hemmings, the nanny of the home. You can just call me Luke, if you’d like. It’s a great pleasure to finally meet the both of you, though I haven’t heard much. Ah, forgive me for rambling—please, come in!”
Surprised by the level of formality that they’re greeted with, Michael and Calum can only stare back at Luke with their mouths hanging open. At least, Luke assumes that that’s the reason for their rather delayed reaction to his greeting. He mentally berates himself for being so awkward when he just wants to make a good first impression. These are his employer’s best friends, after all. They need to like him at least a little bit, otherwise it’ll always be awkward and uncomfortable whenever they visit.
At last, the one with the platinum blond hair leans over and mutters to the other, “You owe me twenty bucks,” before stepping through the doorway.
The dark haired fellow follows right behind him, allowing Luke to shut the door.
“I owe you nothing, now stop being so rude,” grumbles the dark haired one. Suddenly, he turns to Luke and smiles politely. “Please excuse our bad manners. I’m Calum, and this is my husband, Michael.”
“Hey,” says Michael, and he takes Luke’s free hand and gives it a firm shake. He seems to study Luke for several seconds before finally letting loosening his grasp and letting the hand go. Then, he smirks. “I knew it.”
Luke raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Um. Excuse me?”
“It’s nothing,” Calum blurts out, waving a hand dismissively. “Just… an inside joke of sorts.”
“Cal made a bet that you would be an old dude. Like, really old, but I knew that Ash wouldn’t hire some old fart to look after his kids, y’know?”
Calum groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, appearing both frustrated and embarrassed that his husband would casually admit something like that. On the other hand, Luke doesn’t really know how to respond, so he stands there awkwardly while Michael pesters Calum about the twenty bucks he owes him for being wrong about Luke, and Calum pleads for Michael to shut his mouth because Luke is literally standing right there.
Finally, Luke clears his throat and lets out an equally as awkward laugh.
“Thanks, I think?”
Michael snickers and nudges Calum in the side. “See? I told you that he wouldn’t be offended.”
“Whatever. I’m done with your nonsense.” The irritated look on Calum’s face suddenly shifts into one of pure adoration when his chocolate brown eyes land on the baby that Luke is still holding. “Well hi there, Billie Joe! Remember me? Your uncle Calum? My, my, you’ve gotten so big!”
It seems that Billie does remember the man to some extent, because he begins smiling and doesn’t protest when Luke hands him over. Calum pretends that the baby weighs a ton by huffing and puffing as he hoists Billie into the air, and Billie giggles in the most adorable way that warms Luke’s heart.
“I’ve missed you too, bug,” he murmurs while peppering kisses over Billie’s cheeks.
The commotion in the foyer doesn’t go unnoticed, and soon enough, the twins come running towards them while yelling excitedly:
“Uncle Mikey! Uncle Cal!”
Since Calum’s arms are currently occupied, Michael scoops both girls up in his arms and spins them around, laughing just as much as they are because he’s equally as happy to see them. When he puts them down again, they move over to hug Calum’s legs as a way of greeting him, too.
“Uncle Mikey!” Lillie gasps, hopping up and down excitedly, “Are you gonna sleep over? Are you?”
Michael laughs and smooths down some of her wild curls.
“Afraid not, Lils. Not this time. But we are staying for dinner, and hey, maybe we can draw another picture together! Would you like that?”
“Mhm! Mhm!”
“Annie,” Calum says, getting her attention. “Where’s your daddy hiding, hm?”
“Here I am.”
Ashton appears from around the corner with a sheepish grin, and his plan to remain low-key about the whole thing is ruined when his friends begin cheering for him as if he’s walking down the red carpet. It’s silly because he hasn’t even started on the project yet, but they’re congratulating him as if the film has already won several awards all thanks to his superior composing skills. Regardless, Ashton feels incredibly grateful to have the constant support of his old friends.
“Alright, alright. Stop hooting and give me my hugs,” he tells them.
“You asked for it!” Michael says just before pulling Ashton into the tightest bear-hug. He’s always had a pension for overdoing things, so Ashton expects no less from him even now. Instead, he hugs Michael just as tightly before letting go at the same time.
“Proud of you,” Calum says, and now that it’s his turn, he pulls Ashton into a much gentler hug. Not just because he is Michael’s mellow counterpart, but also because he’s still holding Billie in one arm. When he pulls away, he kisses Ashton’s cheek and musses his hair, which is absurd because Ashton is the eldest and should be doing that to him instead. Calum’s joy is contagious though, so Ashton can’t even whine about his messed up hair.
They move the conversation into the family room since the soccer game will be starting in just five minutes. Michael plops down into one of the arm chairs that he claims has the comfiest cushion in the world, while Calum and Ashton sit on either sides of the sofa. Not wanting to miss out on a single second of their uncles’ visit, Lillie and Annie lie on the carpet and busy themselves with a coloring book, since they’re obviously not interested in soccer.
In contrast, Billie gets to sit on Calum’s lap and doesn’t appear to have any qualms about that. And why would he? Billie adores Calum about as much as Calum adores him, and watching Calum speak to Billie while playfully poking him in the tummy to make him laugh, Ashton can tell that he’s beyond ready to adopt a baby of his own. Thing is, Calum doesn’t seem to think so, and neither does Michael. It makes sense; both of them are only twenty-five years old, and though they’ve been together for a total of ten years, having a child of their own is on a whole other level of responsibility. And since they’ve been married for just a couple of years now, they still have to get used to the new status of their relationship before jumping into parenthood.
“Hey, Ash,” Calum says all of a sudden. “When in the world are you going to get these kids a dog? No one deserves to grow up without a little puppy to keep them company from time to time.”
“Or a cat,” Michael chimes in.
“As if. I say that Billie is a dog person. Aren’t you, Billie?” Calum gently pokes Billie in the tummy to get a response, and when the baby smiles up at him, he takes it as a confirmation. “See? I know a dog person when I see one. It’s my sixth sense.”
Michael rolls his eyes and stuffs another guacamole covered tortilla chip in his mouth.
“Bullshit. People can like both cats and dogs, or even neither.”
“Language, Michael,” Ashton reminds him. Since the girls are in earshot, his strict no-swearing rule still applies.
“Shit, sorry. I mean, dammit. Fuck, wait—”
Ashton exhales the most dramatic sigh while Calum laughs so hard that he probably nearly pisses himself. Leave it to Michael to screw up that badly, but on the plus side, it doesn’t look as if the girls heard the brief exchange. Lillie and Annie are currently discussing which colors to use on whatever it is that they’re scribbling, and that’s a relief. Ashton, like any other parent, doesn’t want them repeating such words.
“Anyway, I just don’t think they’re ready for a dog yet,” he explains, answering Calum’s question from earlier. “Someday soon, perhaps. But now’s not the best time for such a big responsibility.”
“Fair enough,” Calum says, nodding, and he doesn’t prod any further. Like Michael, he knows just how difficult the past year has been on Ashton and the kids. While a family pet might bring a bit of fun and joy around the house, it can also bring about the opposite. For now, adopting a dog will have to remain on hold.
Luke joins them in the family room a moment later carrying the pack of beers that Ashton had bought for this very occasion. He hands a bottle to each of them and smiles when they kindly thank him, then he sets the remainder of the bottles on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
“Can I get you anything else?” he asks, and glancing down at the already half empty bowl of chips, he adds, “More chips, maybe?”
While it’s very kind of him to offer to refill the chips bowl, nowhere in the contract does it state that he has to serve Ashton’s guests. That’s why Ashton gently grabs him by the wrist when he bends down to pick up the bowl anyway, since no one answered him quickly enough. Luke looks down at the hand around his wrist and then his eyes glance over at Ashton, obviously feeling confused.
Ashton chuckles and says, “It’s fine, Luke, you don’t have to do anything else. You’re a nanny, not a servant.”
“Why don’t you watch the game with us?” Calum suggests. “It’s just about to start so you haven’t missed a thing.”
“I don’t know,” Luke starts to say, sounding just as uncertain as he looks. “I just put the lasagna in the oven and I’ll have to periodically check on it. I don’t want to accidentally forget because I’m distracted by the game…”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it,” Ashton insists. He tugs Luke closer to the sofa until Luke gets the picture and sits down in between Ashton and Calum, right where he belongs.
“Are… Are you sure?” Luke asks, but before he can say anything else, Ashton nods and reassures him.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I mean, I don’t even like watching sports to begin with, so it wouldn’t make a difference to me if I missed something.”
While at first it looks as if Luke will argue, he quickly settles down and accepts the break that he’s been given. After all, his primary tasks include taking care of the children, cooking for them, and cleaning up after them. Since all of the children are currently in the same room and Ashton isn’t too busy to do those things, then there isn’t anything left for Luke to do at this moment.
Michael reaches for one of the extra beers on the coffee table and leans over to hand it to Luke, who stares at it for a moment before glancing to his side Ashton, and then back at the beer in Michael’s hand. Finally, he shakes his head and gives Michael an apologetic smile.
“I really shouldn’t drink on the job, but thank you.”
Michael snorts. “One beer shouldn’t be a problem unless you’re the lightest weight of all. Or, do you mean you shouldn’t as in your boss won’t let you?” Before Luke can answer that, Michael directs his attention to Ashton. “Dude, don’t be cruel. Let the guy have a beer!”
“Yeah, let ‘em have a beer,” Calum agrees.
Before the two of them start chanting “beer” as if they were all back in university again, Ashton raises his hands to get them to quiet down.
“Alright, alright, don’t start a riot,” he says, rolling his eyes. He then turns to Luke. “Well, since you’re technically not on the job right now, you can have a drink if you’d like one. I really don’t mind. Honestly.”
Luke visibly relaxes, now that he has Ashton’s permission to consume alcohol. Obviously, most employers prefer it if the nanny neither drinks nor smokes, especially around the children, but since Ashton trusts Luke and it’s not as if they’re drinking hard liquor, he really doesn’t see the harm in it.
“Maybe just one, then,” Luke says at last. He accepts the beer from Michael and clinks the bottle against Ashton’s when prompted, just before taking a sip and leaning back to get more comfortable.
After that, everything is perfect. The soccer game begins between two teams whose names Ashton keeps forgetting, but he likes the red and orange colors of the team that quickly gains the lead. He hardly pays any attention to it, though. He mainly listens to the in-depth conversation that Luke and Calum have about the teams currently on the field, and it surprises him just how much Luke knows about the sport. It’s plain to see that he’s a big soccer fan, and Ashton listens because he enjoys finding out new things about Luke. Why? Well, because Luke is a part of the Irwin family now.
Despite also being Luke’s employer first and foremost, Ashton has always strove to have a deeper relationship with the nannies. He finds that it builds a more secure level of trust between them, and it also makes interactions much more pleasurable. It’s one of the reasons that he prefers to be called by his first name instead of Mr. Irwin; it feels less like living with an employee and more like living with a good friend who helps him care for the children and the house. He hopes that over time, he will reach this ideal type of relationship with Luke.
Remembering that there’s food cooking in the oven, Ashton eventually excuses himself and disappears into the kitchen. He finds that the lasagna is perfectly done on the outside as well as the inside, so he puts on a couple of mittens and removes it from the oven to cool down. He’s too distracted by the lovely aroma that fills his nostrils to notice the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen, until he looks up and finds Michael with the empty bowl of chips in his hands and an expectant look on his face.
Ashton laughs, but he points to the pantry anyway so that his friend knows where the bag of chips are.
“You’ll spoil your appetite with all those chips,” Ashton warns him.
Even so, Michael continues his task of refilling the empty bowl with salty tortilla chips.
“Thanks for the advice, dad,” Michael says, just to tease him.
Ashton predicted such an answer, having known Michael since high school, so he isn’t bothered by the teasing and simply rolls his eyes. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that his friend is an actual adult and not the loud, occasionally obnoxious teenager with the ridiculous fringe that Ashton used to know. But although Michael is a lot more mature nowadays, he still has his moments where it seems as if he hasn’t changed at all. And he honestly hasn’t, at least not too much. He has a way of making Ashton feel young again and it’s only one of the many reasons that Ashton keeps him around these days.
“So,” Michael starts off a little louder than necessary, and Ashton already knows that he’s about to say something rather unwanted. Starting off his sentence with that word is how it always begins without fail, so Ashton turns away from the lasagna with his eyebrows raised high on his forehead. Now that he has Ashton’s full attention, Michael continues: “Luke seems pretty nice. Where’d you find ‘em?”
Having no expected it to be about Luke, it takes Ashton a brief moment to come up with an appropriate response.
“Oh. Well, I stumbled across his profile on the usual website that I use to search for nannies,” he answers casually. “Why?”
Michael shrugs nonchalantly and bites into another chip. “Just curious.”
Ashton also knows that Michael is never “just curious” about anything, despite what he says. Therefore, such an answer only raises Ashton’s suspicion and he crosses both arms over his chest before attempting to nag the true reason out of his friend.
“No, it’s something else,” he says slowly, and when Michael only crunches on another chip instead of denying it, Ashton knows that he’s right. “Okay, what is it? You know that I hate guessing games, just tell me what it is that you’re thinking.”
Unfortunately, Michael chooses now to let that annoying teenage side of himself resurface. Instead of answering Ashton immediately, he forces him to wait by simply standing there and humming a random tune while eating more chips. Ashton has a mind to reach out and snatch the bowl away from him, just to get an answer and stop this foolishness.
Finally, Michael says, “I was just thinking of how he’s the total opposite of Mrs. S, y’know? Young, funny, really nice, but also really hot—don’t tell Calum I said that—and the kids seem fond of him, too. Obviously that’s what’s most important, a nanny that the kids adore.”
“I suppose all of that’s true,” Ashton mutters. Still, he doesn’t understand what Michael is getting at, so he adds, “But what’s your point?”
“I never said that I had one, it’s just that he kind of reminds me of Charlotte.”
If not for the fact that Ashton is already leaning back against the counter, he would have recoiled from such a statement. His feelings on the matter must be visible on his face, because Michael ignores the chip in between his fingers and looks as if he’s ready to retract his statement in case he has unknowingly angered Ashton. But Ashton isn’t angry, per se—actually, he doesn’t really know how to feel right now. He’s just certain that Michael is wrong.
“What are you talking about?” he asks, frowning more from confusion instead of anger. “He’s nothing like Charlotte, and whatever it is that you’re trying to get at by saying this, maybe you should reconsider it.”
For whatever reason, Michael rolls his eyes and sighs with exasperation.
“Ash, c’mon. You can’t tell me that you don’t see a single ounce of resemblance between them. I mean, it’s almost uncanny,” he argues, and even when Ashton turns away to pretend to examine the lasagna once more, Michael doesn’t drop the subject. “Think about it: blond hair, blue eyes, cute haircut and a thin build? The guy looks as if he could’ve been her long lost brother or some shit like that.”
“Stop swearing,” Ashton grumbles, blatantly ignoring the rest of what has been said.
“The girls can’t hear us from in here,” Michael points out. “Don’t try to change the subject. And I’m not trying to, like, antagonize you or anything so you don’t have to sound so grumpy. I’m just wondering if that’s why you chose him, because he reminds you of Charlotte.”
Ashton groans and whirls around to face him again. “That isn’t why I chose him and he doesn’t remind me of her! I mean, do you honestly think that I would stoop so low as to try and replace my wife with a nanny who just so happens to share some of her physical features, which I hadn’t even thought of until you brought it up? That’s ridiculous, Mike.”
Realizing that he’s definitely struck a nerve, Michael finally relents and the stubborn look on his face switches to one that’s much more apologetic.
“Okay, you win. Sorry for bringing it up and for going all… Dr. Phil on you just now.” He adds that last bit to try and be funny, and when Ashton can’t help but chuckle quietly, Michael smiles. “But you know that I’m just looking out for you, right? And that I want you to be happy? I know that this past year has been hell and you’ve been dealing with it in the best way that you can for yourself and your family, but Ashton, you’re only twenty-seven. And if someday you decide that you’re ready to get out there and mingle, just know that it’s not too late! You’re still young, y’know?”
While Ashton thinks that Michael is trying to be encouraging by saying all of that, whatever any of that means, it’s clear that he’s implying one thing and one thing only. And since Ashton has figured out what that thing is, he gasps before he can stop himself.
“Michael Gordon Clifford, are you insinuating that I would…” Ashton pauses and lowers his voice significantly before continuing, “fuck the nanny? Seriously? This is real life, Michael, not one of the many pornos that you’ve watched.”
Michael snorts. “And what do you think that porn is based off of? Real life scenarios! Well, mostly. Anyway, don’t sound so repulsed. I know that blondes are your type and you were watching Luke more than you were watching the TV.”
“That’s because I don’t even like soccer,” Ashton says, grumbling like a petulant child.
“Hah! So you don’t deny staring at him, then? Because you think that he’s cute?”
“Michael.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll stop, but only because I love you and I’m not looking to get a black eye.”
Michael takes a moment to add a few more chips to the bowl before taking it into both hands and moving towards the exit. However, Ashton isn’t done with this conversation despite knowing that he should be relieved that it’s over. He isn’t though, and that’s why just before Michael leaves for good, he speaks up again.
“It’s not going to happen despite what you’re thinking,” Ashton says, but even he knows that he doesn’t sound as sure as he should. “I mean, sure, I can admit that Luke is… cute, as you so put it, but I’m not that desperate and I do have certain morals. Also, he’s probably not even into men.”
In an unexpected twist of events, Michael bursts out laughing so hard that he starts to choke on the chip in his mouth. Luckily he manages to swallow it down, because Ashton isn’t sure that he’d be able to perform the Heimlich maneuver quickly enough to save his friend’s life.
Michael glances over his shoulder and says with a smirk, “Dude, he’s fucking gay.”
“How could you possibly know that?” Ashton questions. “And don’t say that it’s because he’s a nanny. That’s no different than saying that all male nurses are gay, just because it’s a job usually held by women.”
“Duh. It’s obviously not because he’s a nanny,” Michael scoffs. “Unlike you, I’m just choosing to use my gaydar. And you know what my gaydar tells me? It tells me that I’m right and that the angelic Luke Hemmings is totally into cock.”
Ashton grimaces at such vulgar language. “Not only is that completely untrue, but I’m pretty sure that it’s also offensive. Gaydars don’t exist.”
“Whatever,” Michael says with a sigh. “If you know that I’m wrong then why continue arguing? Anyway, I’ve got a game to watch so don’t wait up.”
He leaves before Ashton can think of an appropriate comeback, which really isn’t good. You see, Ashton is the type of person to argue on and on until he gets his point across. He argues until he’s proven right or he’s proven wrong, but since Michael no longer wants to play this game, he leaves Ashton to argue with himself on the subject.
It’s absolutely pointless, though. No matter what Luke’s sexuality may or may not be, it’s none of Ashton’s business because that would be unprofessional. Luke is his employee and even thinking about possibly doing certain things with him is beyond immoral, so Ashton shakes his head and tries forcing himself to forget all that Michael has said to him.
If one thing’s for sure, it’s easier said than done.
Michael and Calum leave shortly after dinner since Calum has to get to work early the next morning. Lillie and Annie are sad to see them leave so soon, because it’s been a while since the both of them have visited the Irwin household. However, the girls cheer up again as soon as Michael promises to bring ice cream and Obi Wan (his and Calum’s pug) over the next time that they visit.
Once plenty of hugs and farewells have been exchanged, Calum has Luke’s number in his phone so that they can talk more about soccer sometime, and Ashton has given them the leftover food because he knows that the kids won’t eat it, Michael and Calum leave at last—but not before Michael gives Ashton a suggestive wink and a glance in Luke’s direction, hinting at their unpleasant conversation from much earlier. Ashton only responds by rolling his eyes and hoping that Luke hasn’t noticed a thing.
Later on in the night, after putting both Billie and the girls to bed, Luke comes back downstairs to help Ashton with the task of cleaning everything up, despite how many times Ashton tells him that he doesn’t have to. Luke is quite persistent when it comes to helping others, though. It’s a trait that Ashton can relate to, so he stops resisting and lets Luke do as he pleases.
However, it’s kind of awkward being around him like this, now that Ashton can’t stop thinking of what Michael had said. He tries his best to put it behind him because this whole thing really is ridiculous. So what if Luke is handsome? Ashton can recognize a person’s beauty without being sexually attracted to them. And even if Luke is into men, it doesn’t mean that he’d ever be into Ashton, specifically.
Besides, Ashton doesn’t even know if he himself is into men! While it’s true that he has slept with one before, it occurred long ago during his early university days before he got back together with Charlotte. Ever since then, he’s seen it as a “phase” because, well, doesn’t everyone experiment while they’re young and curious? Or, perhaps he’s only referring to it as a phase because he’s been afraid to admit the truth all this time, and the truth is that his attraction to the same gender is still there. He only attempted to bury it because back then, he hadn’t known that there were more than two sexualities to identify with; although he supposes that he should’ve known, since Michael is the proudest bisexual man that Ashton knows.
For now, Ashton shakes those thoughts from his mind and decides that they’re not welcome. He has enough to deal with as it is and a sexuality crisis wouldn’t be helping him in the slightest, especially since it wouldn’t be much of a crisis in the first place. He knows the truth and that’s that, he accepts it and he’s moving on.
“They were even nicer than I had imagined,” Luke says out of nowhere.
Ashton snaps out of it and pauses his hand movements. Upon noticing that he’s been scrubbing the same plate for the past few minutes at least, he rinses it beneath the hot water and sets it aside to dry with the others. Then, he glances over to where Luke is currently wiping down the kitchen table.
“Sorry, what?”
“Your friends?” Luke specifies, grinning. “They were really nice to me. I admit that I was a little nervous when you announced that they would be visiting, but after sitting down and talking with them, I decided that I really like them.” He pauses. “Do you think that they like me, too?”
“Of course they like you,” Ashton says, smiling back at him. He returns his gaze to the sink and begins washing the silverware. “More than you know it.”
Luke hums before falling silent again. For a little while, the only sound within the kitchen is running water and silverware clinking together, but it doesn’t last for long. Soon enough, Luke makes another attempt at sparking up a conversation.
“How long have the three of you been friends? Um, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“Since high school,” Ashton replies with ease. “I met Michael at a party, but we didn’t become friends until I started working at his dad’s hardware store over one summer. He’d come in sometimes and we’d talk, probably because he was bored and I was the only young person working there, but we got along nicely, I guess.”
“What about Calum?”
“Calum came along soon after that. He and Michael have known each other since they were about… seven or eight years old, I think. They were already dating by the time that I befriended them, so it became natural for the three of us to hang out sometimes. But we attended different schools back then, so we didn’t become as close as we are now until university. I had taken a gap year, so they weren’t too far behind.”
“Wow,” Luke murmurs, sounding truly amazed. And it’s odd, because Ashton doesn’t see how it can possibly be that interesting. “It’s no wonder that the bond between the three of you is as strong as it is. You’ve practically been together for half of your lives already!”
Ashton chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
“But Michael and Calum,” Luke goes on, “What they have together is even more unique… I mean, how often do people end up marrying the person that they’ve been close friends with since childhood? They must be soulmates for sure.”
“Soulmates?” Ashton laughs again. “You believe in such a thing?”
“Of course!” Luke answers without hesitation. “I know that it probably seems silly, but… well, I really do believe in them. Heh, I guess it’s one of the perks of being someone who works with children for a living? Like, I have to have a vivid imagination to communicate with them, and sometimes that includes believing in things that can never be proven as real. And no, I’m not talking about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.”
Ashton laughs once more and turns the faucet off, having finished with the last of the silverware. He dries his hands on the towel on the counter beside him and turns to face Luke, who is already looking back at him with the cutest little grin from having made Ashton laugh. For the slightest second, Ashton thinks that his heart skips a beat in his chest, but he passes it off as the possible oncoming of heartburn.
“So you really do think that soulmates exist?”
“I really do, and I believe that everyone has one.”
“I see. Well, I envy your optimism,” Ashton jokes, though in truth, it’s only half a joke.
“Optimism?” Luke puts a hand on his hip and tilts his head in a way that almost makes him appear sassy, and he clearly takes issue with the so-called joke and Ashton’s pessimism. “Let me guess, you don’t believe that you have a soulmate somewhere out there just waiting for you.”
Ashton shrugs. “Maybe I did at some point, but she’s gone now.”
All at once, the playful sass disappears from Luke’s posture and his tone, and now he looks as if he wants to apologize but doesn’t know how. This sudden change of attitude confuses Ashton at first, until he realizes the weight of what he’s just said. To his own ears, he’s only stating the facts as casually as he knows how; but Luke, who can’t possibly know Ashton’s inner feelings on the matter, probably thinks that he has just brought up something painful that shouldn’t be talked about. Ashton doesn’t get a chance to tell him that it’s okay, he hasn’t accidentally stepped on any toes, because Luke already starts speaking again.
“You know,” Luke says, speaking quickly out of nervousness, “some people believe that many of us have more than just one soulmate, and even more people believe that the concept of soulmates isn’t always romantic in nature. Actually, it’s entirely possible that we all have many soulmates! Romantic soulmates, platonic soulmates such as friends and family members…”
He tails off then and spends the next few seconds trying to think of what else to say while scratching the back of his head. Maybe Ashton thinks that it’s kind of cute, in a strange sort of Luke way, so he takes pity on the guy and laughs again.
“Thanks for the reassurance, but I promise that I’m not as lonely as I look. Nowadays, I like to think of myself as being… married to my work.”
Luke seems to relax a bit, now that he knows he hasn’t offended Ashton in any way. Even so, he still sounds a tad shy when he replies.
“Well, maybe someday someone else will come along, someone who will bring you just as much happiness as you felt before.”
Ashton highly doubts that anything like that will ever happen to him, but he knows that Luke has good intentions. And since Ashton doesn’t want to be pitied and he hates to be a Debbie Downer, he smiles and doesn’t argue with that notion. He decides that it’s worth it, once Luke smiles back at him.