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It’s the first really nice day in weeks, even though it’s freezing and Jared’s face is red from the cold. But the snow covering Central Park is glistening in the sun and it’s nice to be outside for a change, breathe in the crisp air.
“Uncle JT!”
Jared tears his eyes away from the sky and looks over to where his niece is skating towards the boards, and where Jared and her dad are standing.
“Did you see it, Uncle JT? Did you see? I did a pirouette,” Ashley says excitedly. She’s five years old and if Jared didn’t know better he’d say she could skate before she could walk, that’s how good she is.
“It was awesome, pumpkin,” he says, glossing over the fact that he did indeed miss her pirouette, because he was staring at the sky like a crazy person. “How about you do it again?”
She grins broadly at him, skating back to where her mom is pushing two-and-a-half year old Jamie across the ice. Ashley spins around and Jared laughs, clapping.
“I think she loves you more than me,” Jeff says, grumbling a little. But Jared knows he’s only faking the disappointment, because Ashley and her dad are inseparable, and they adore each other.
“Of course she does,” Jared says, grinning broadly. “I’m her favorite uncle.”
“You’re her only uncle.” Jeff snorts, wrapping his arm around Jared’s neck and pulling him into a headlock, rubbing his knuckles over Jared’s head.
“Jerk, stop it. I’m not five anymore.”
Jeff laughs. “Sometimes I wonder.”
Jared pulls away, rolling his eyes, but he can’t help but grin up at his big brother. Jared’s 6’5” but Jeff is 6’7” and one of the few people Jared has to look up to. Jared likes it, makes him feel protected. Even though he’s thirty, it’s still a nice feeling that Jeff is still looking out for him.
He always did, ever since Jared was three years old and climbed up the apple tree in their backyard, not knowing how to get down again. Jeff had climbed up as well and with his help Jared had been able to find the courage to climb down again.
Jeff winks at him and then turns his gaze back to his family on the skating rink. There’s a fond smile displayed on his face when he watches his wife, Karen, and their two kids laugh and have fun. It makes Jared smile as well. He’s happy that his brother is happy.
The loud heartbeat in his chest reminds him of the fact that he is not as happy and carefree as his brother’s children. But he pushes the thought away; he’s gotten good at denial.
Karen skates towards them, Jamie on her hands squealing with joy at the pace. Ashley is not far behind them and Jeff pulls his wife into a quick kiss before picking up his youngest and lifting him over the boards. Jamie’s cheeks are red and he’s grinning broadly at his dad.
“Skate, Daddy.”
“Yes, you did,” Jeff says and Jared watches him rub his nose over his son’s cheek.
“Uncle JT, can you help me?”
Jared looks down at his niece, holding out her skates to him. He chuckles and kneels down, opening the laces of one skate and pulling it off. He holds out a boot for Ashley and she slips in. He repeats the whole process with the second skate and soon Ashley is standing in front of him in her boots, picking up her skates. He smiles up at her and pushes back to his feet.
It hits him completely out of the blue, the feeling of sudden dizziness and his heartbeat echoing in his ears. The color must have drained from his face too because Ashley looks at him with shocked eyes.
“Uncle JT?” she peeps and Jared prays for a second, reaching for the boards to help him steady himself.
This can’t be happening, not in front of the kids. Not now, not today when it’s been such a perfect day out, without the worries of unpaid invoices and no health insurance. He catches his brother’s gaze and sees him rushing over. He doesn’t feel Jeff catch him; the darkness has already taken over by then.
He’s a carefree boy, climbing trees, running through the woods behind their house, shooting hoops in the driveway with his big brother, teasing his little sister.
When he turns fourteen and starts high school, he makes the football team straight away. There are proud smiles on his parents’ faces and he’ll never forget his dad’s holler when he scored his first touchdown.
Everything’s easy back then.
He dreams about going pro, of playing in the NFL and running out onto the field while the whole audience roars for him and his team.
At fourteen you don’t think that anything is going to happen to you or your family; that one fraction of a second will turn your whole life upside down, and everything you ever dreamed about will crash and burn right in front of you.
Jared learns that the hard way.
One second he’s coming home from football practice and the next, the phone is falling from his mother’s hands when they tell her that his dad had a heart attack.
A heart attack; and not even forty.
His dad was fine, healthy, always eating right, going to the gym twice a week, no weight issues, no nothing. And still… those things didn’t save him.
He clings to Jeff’s hand like it’s a lifeline. Fourteen years old and feeling like he’s four, hoping his big brother can fix whatever is wrong. Megan is on Jeff’s other side, looking at him with big brown eyes filled with tears.
Turns out that a brother in his first year of college is no magician.
They find out that Jared’s dad had a genetic heart defect called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which was just never discovered until it caused the sudden heart attack. The doctors tell them that it’s not uncommon, since a lot of people suffering from HCM - that’s what they call it - never experience symptoms or only mild ones.
Jeff organizes the funeral, since their mom is still in shock. They all are. But someone has to take care of everything. Jared looks up to Jeff and thinks his brother is the strongest person on earth.
It’s a week after the funeral that Jeff drags him and Meggie to a doctor. They get tested for HCM, because it’s genetic and all, and there’s a fifty percent chance that they have it too.
The tests are easy enough and that night Jared returns home with a letter saying that he has HCM, along with a life pulled even more off its axis than before. Jeff and Megan return home with a letter each of their own, declaring them healthy.
Jeff has more pamphlets and brochures stuffed in his jacket’s pockets, and the doctor has given him a list of specialists in their area. What scares Jared the most is the desperate look on his big brother’s face. He’s never seen Jeff look so young and vulnerable, not even when they buried their dad.
His mom breaks down when she hears the news, wrapping him up in a desperate hug, asking what she’s done to be punished so much.
From that moment she sends Jared to each and every specialist she can find. He has to take hundreds of pills and a ton of medication, even though the doctors all tell his mom the same thing.
HCM is not curable, but if Jared takes his medication he will be fine.
She doesn’t believe them.
She makes Jared quit the football team and starts driving him to school. She doesn’t let him do anything too strenuous, even though he tells her that he’s feeling fine and is totally capable of walking to school. It’s only three blocks down the road anyway.
Jeff is back at college - he’s on a full ride and he can’t really afford to miss any more classes than he already has - and Jared bitches to him on the phone one night, which causes Jeff to talk to their mom. The conversation ends in a screaming match and Jared feels small and helpless, and he wants nothing more than to run to his room, hide under the bed and cover his ears.
His mom is crying bitter tears when the phone call ends and Jared feels so bad and guilty when she says that she couldn’t save her husband but she’s going to save him; that he promises himself that he’ll stop bitching and do whatever it takes to make his mom feel better again.
He doesn’t bitch to Jeff anymore, just follows his mom to whatever appointment she makes. Soon it turns from traditional doctors to alternative healers who try to make the HCM go away with the laying-on of hands or acupuncture.
It feels ridiculous and Jared learns the hard way that all those supposed healers were doing was take money that they didn’t have out of his mom’s pocket, when the bank comes and takes their house away.
The doctor’s visits stop and when Jared tells his mom that his prescription for his medication is running out, she starts crying and tells him that they lost their insurance. There’s no money either to buy his medication, everything spent on the doctors’ visits and supposed healers.
The small two-bedroom apartment they’re now sharing is the only thing they can afford with the little money his mom makes working at the store. He tells her that he can help, get a job in the mornings before school or even in the evenings. But she forbids him to do just that because of his heart condition.
Jeff helps out a little, sends checks and money whenever he can, making Jared promise that he’ll buy the medication he needs. But he has to live too and New York is expensive, so Jared tells him to stop sending money. He comes up with a story of getting his medication at the local clinic. Jeff sounds so relieved that Jared feels guilty for lying to him for weeks, but he’s the reason why his mom the lost of all their money and their insurance. He’s not going to do that to his brother too.
His mom slowly starts to fade away, there’s no other description Jared can find to describe it. There’s no money for doctors or medication anymore and she knows it; looks at him as if she expects him to drop dead at any second. She falls deeper into depression every day, leaving Jared to make sure that Megan is taken care of.
He graduates high school and even though his grades would be definitely good enough to get a scholarship with a good college, maybe even NYU, he doesn’t send out any applications. Instead he gets a job at a call center, assuring his mom that it’s not physically exhausting in the least.
The pay is horrible but between him and his mom they find a way to deal.
He thinks about buying medication again. But every time he looks at the money in his hands he decides that there are more important things he has to use it for: rent, repairs, better food, and school supplies or treats for Megan. And he’s doing fine anyway. Okay, so sometimes he’s short of breath or he gets dizzy, but that’s it. And if that’s all it is, Jared can live with it.
Megan gets a full ride to UPenn and Jared is so proud he might burst. He cheers and screams loudest at her graduation and she laughs and waves at him from the podium. Their mom is sitting next to Jared muttering that the next of her children is leaving her because she’s a failure.
Jared bites the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming at her that he’s still here. He’s twenty-two, works a shitty job and has no friends because he rushes right home after work - even though his colleagues have invited him out for a beer after work more than once - to take care of her and Megan.
Now Megan is leaving and it’s just him and her.
He’s twenty-six when his mom doesn’t wake up one morning. The doctors say she died of a broken heart. But Jared knows better, she died because she couldn’t save him and when she stopped trying, she started losing her will to live.
Jeff asks him to move to New York where his big brother is working as a Detective with NYPD. He’s married too with a beautiful baby girl named Ashley, who Jared hasn’t seen enough in the last year. And photos are just not the same.
There’s nothing keeping him in Texas, not anymore. So he quits his job and packs his bags. He moves in with his brother, his sister-in-law Karen and little Ashley. Due to his lack of education, finding a job is harder than he thought. In the end he winds up at a call center for an electronics store, but it’s better than nothing. It pays the bills or at least it lets him help pay for utilities.
When he first moved here, Jeff gave him the address of a doctor close by where he could get a frequent check-up and his prescription. Jared doesn’t tell him that he can’t afford insurance or to buy the medication for himself. Jeff has other things to worry about. He needs to take care of his own family and being a detective doesn’t exactly make you rich.
Jared knows the moment Jeff and Karen tell him that she’s pregnant again that he will have to move. The baby will need his room. Karen tells him that Ashley can share, but Jared really doesn’t want that. Each kid should have their own room. And it’s not like he can’t live alone. He just never had to.
The apartment is in Brooklyn, meaning a forty-five minute commute to and from work in the mornings and evenings, but it’s okay. He’s even become friends with one or two of the roaches living with him. Jeff and Karen hate it, but Jared tells them that he’s fine living there. Not that he could afford anything else if he weren’t.
His apartment is on the fourth floor, and his heartbeat is always loud in his chest and he feels a little short of breath after the walk up the stairs.
He tries to ignore both and he’s gotten good at it. It’s been years since he last took a pill and he’s been dealing fine. So what if the symptoms become a little more frequent? He’s still feeling fine.
The cold is fucking with his head.
He hears a snort behind him and turns around to see Mike standing behind him, dressed exactly like Jensen is. Thick black parka over dark blue scrubs. Jensen thinks he can see ice crystals on Mike’s bald head. They’ve known each other since they started their internship at the hospital ten years ago; have been friends for most of that time too. Mike chose neuro, while Jensen himself found his calling in cardio.
“What?” he grits out, rubbing his hands some more, praying, hoping.
“Remind me again why you’re here and not in Oahu?”
Jensen rolls his eyes. Mike knows exactly why. They don’t need to discuss this every single second of every single day. It’s done and over with, even though Mike never knows when to quit.
“Ah, c’mon, Jenny. It would have been an amazing opportunity.”
Yeah, Mike is right. It would have been. And if it hadn’t been for Justin, his cheating, lying asshole of an ex-boyfriend, he might have taken it. But being around Justin for most of the day after what went down between them had been a huge deal breaker. And Mike knows it. Of course he does, he’d been there through all the vodka bottles Jensen emptied after Justin packed up his things and left.
“That’s like letting him win. You know that, right?” Mike asks, pushing it past Jensen’s line of patience.
“Shut up, Michael,” he hisses. He loves Mike like a brother, really he does. But sometimes he really wants to bash his head in.
“Jensen Ackles, Head of Cardiology at thirty-four. Now that would have made the headlines.”
Jensen grits his teeth together and prays for the ambulance he’s waiting for to get here soon, or this might be the day Mike really needs a surgeon himself. He can hear the sirens in the distance and starts rocking back and forth on his heels.
“You can deny it all you want,” Mike continues. “But you chickened out of the opportunity of your fucking life because the guy was an asshole.”
Jensen is about to start telling Mike exactly where he can stick it, when the ambulance turns onto the street and stops right in front of the hospital. The backdoors swing open and out climbs the first paramedic.
“Thirty-year-old Jared Padalecki fainted while walking in the park. He suffers from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy according to his brother.”
Jensen sees a huge guy getting out of the car behind the paramedic, giving the guy on the stretcher a stern look.
“No Jared, you will have the doctors take a look at you, damn it.”
The guy rolls his eyes and says, “I’m fine.” It sounds more like a wheeze and Jensen can see that he is suffering from shortness of breath, which is a really common symptom of HCM. “You should have just gone home with Karen and the kids.”
“Right and leave my brother, who just fucking collapsed in Central Park, alone. Besides, Karen is totally capable of taking care of the kids. Whereas, right now, you don’t seem to be able to do that at all,” the older guy says.
“Hi,” Jensen says, jumping in before the younger guy on the stretcher can shoot anything back. He looks from one man to the other. “I’m Dr. Ackles. I think your brother is right and we should take a look at you.” He waves the paramedic inside the ER and into one of the exam rooms.
When they want to transfer the patient to the bed, intense hazel-green eyes turn towards him. “I’m fine,” the guy insists again.
“You are not fine, JT,” his brother says and there’s a hint of desperation in his voice. “You fainted.” He turns to Jensen. “We’ve known since he was fourteen. And he has never shown any symptoms until a couple of years ago. Despite the medication he’s been taking.”
Something flashes across his patient’s face and Jensen frowns a little wondering what it means. “We’ll take good care of him,” he says. “You can wait outside and we’ll come and get you when we’re finished.”
The man looks back and forth between Jensen and his brother, until his brother sighs. “Jeff, if you want them to check me out, you have to give them some room.”
“There’s some paperwork that needs to be filled out anyway,” Jensen says. “And we promise your brother is in good hands.”
Jeff nods slowly. “Okay.”
When the door to the exam room closes, Jensen’s patient sits up on the bed. “So can you go, help some real patients and then come back in a couple of hours to let Jeff know that I’m fine?”
Jensen looks at him, stunned. “What?”
“I don’t need an examination. I know exactly what’s wrong with me,” he says. “Besides, I can’t pay for any of this. I don’t have insurance.” He swings his legs off the bed. “I just really need for Jeff to get off my back.”
Jensen nods and the look he saw on his patient’s face before suddenly makes all the sense in the world. “How long ago did you stop taking your medication?”
His head jerks up and he huffs out an exasperated breath. “None of your business. I’m fine. I’ve been doing fine all my life.”
“When did the symptoms start?” Jensen asks.
“It doesn’t matter,” Jensen’s patient says.
“Mr. Padalecki…”
“Jared,” the guy says. “Mr. Padalecki was my dad.”
Jensen nods, wondering if it was Jared’s father who passed on HCM to Jared. “Okay, Jared then. It looks like your HCM is getting worse. I just wanna help you. Get you back on your medication, so you can live a long happy life.”
Jared snorts. “Right. And how do you wanna do that without putting me into lifelong debt that I’ll never be able to pay back?”
“Jared,” Jensen says and Jared cuts him off.
“No. Damn it. I’ll deal with it just the way I’ve done it for the last sixteen years.”
He gets up from the bed and Jensen can see the moment the dizziness hits him, making him sway and then stumble. Jensen catches him by his biceps, feeling the muscles flex beneath his fingers.
“C’mon,” he says, helping Jared back on the bed. “Just let me take a look at how bad it really is. Maybe we can find a way. What about your brother, maybe you can ask him…”
“No way,” Jared shakes his head. “Keep Jeff out of it. He has a wife and two kids he needs to take care of.”
“He’s also your brother and you seem close. I’m sure he’d want to help. I know I would if it’d be my brother,” Jensen adds.
“He would,” Jared agrees. “But I don’t want him to.”
“If it could help…”
“No,” Jared says loudly. “What part of the word ‘no’ don’t you understand?”
Jensen sighs. He’s had his fair share of patients who don’t have insurance, but Jared’s by far the most adamant one to not ask for help.
“Jared, you need help. We need to figure out how bad it really is. You’re thirty. I’m sure you don’t wanna just drop dead from heart failure if you could have done something about it.”
Jared flinches when Jensen says it and Jensen can see that he’s hit a nerve. Maybe Jensen’s been right about his assumption and it really was Jared’s dad.
“Just make it as cheap as possible,” he says, lying back on the bed.
Jensen takes a deep breath, thinking about all the tests and what they’ll cost Jared. How they will put him in debt for a long time to come. How it’s not fair. Jared didn’t ask for this. He shouldn’t have to pay for something life dealt out to him.
The clock on the wall is slowly driving Jared crazy. He’s been at the hospital for way too long already and each passing minute will just make the invoice higher, putting him deeper in shit he really doesn’t have the nerves to deal with.
“How long does it take to evaluate those fucking tests?” he grumbles under his breath.
“They’re just doing their job, JT. Let them and stop being such a pissy patient.” Jeff sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I know you hate this. I do. But you’ve never…” he shuts up and presses his lips together in a tight line.
Jared lets out a deep breath, dropping his head back on the pillow. Yeah, he knows. He’s never fainted before. His heart condition is getting worse, has been for years. But there’s really nothing he can do about it. He doesn’t have the money to just get up and buy medication or get health insurance. And he refuses to even think about asking Jeff for it, even though he knows that his brother would give him a new heart if he could.
“The wait’s killing me,” Jared says and when Jeff looks over he shoots him a small smile, which is returned after a second. “It’s the only free day I have this week.”
“You work too much,” Jeff says and Jared huffs out a laugh.
“Says the workaholic who’s not happy if he’s not working day and night.”
“Only if I’m on a case.”
“I’m sure Karen and the kids would appreciate seeing you once in a while, even if you’re on a case.”
Jeff sighs. “How did this conversation turn out to be about me? We were talking about you, little bro.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “Nothing to talk about. Same as always.”
“And still we’re here,” Jeff replies, plucking at the seams of his shirt. “How long has it been getting worse?”
“Jeff…”
“You can’t tell me that you didn’t realize that something was up. I mean there must have been some symptoms, right?”
Jared bites the inside of his cheek and shrugs. “Maybe. I get tired a lot lately, but I didn’t think… How was I supposed to know it meant something?”
“JT, you have a heart condition, of course it means something.” Jeff shakes his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it didn’t seem worth mentioning.”
“Argh, JT,” Jeff growls and gets up from his chair. “Your heart… you have to be more careful, more in tune with your body or you’ll just drop dead like Dad.”
Jared flinches, because he knows that. He’ll end up just like dad, the only difference being that he knows he has a weak heart.
There’s a knock on the door and Jared looks over to find Dr. Ackles and a younger woman with dark hair standing in the doorway. He lets out a deep breath and forces a smile.
“Hey, Doc. What’s the verdict?”
“Hi Jared.” His voice is soft and Jared actually really likes how Dr. Ackles sounds; makes him feel relaxed and warm. He guesses that the guy learned how to talk to patients at med school. “This is Dr. McCoy. She’ll be helping with your case.”
Dr. McCoy smiles. “Hey.”
Jared sighs and raises his eyebrows at Dr. Ackles. Really? He thought he’d made himself clear. He can’t afford any of this and even the few hours he’s already spent here will put him into debt for months.
Dr. Ackles doesn’t seem to care, because he just continues. “So we evaluated your test results.”
“Just tell us,” Jeff grits out. “We can take it.”
Jared is not so sure himself. Maybe Dr. Ackles will tell him that he’s going to die soon. He’s not sure he can take that. Looking over at the strained face of his brother, he’s not sure Jeff could take it either.
“Your myocardium is hypertrophied, meaning your heart muscle has thickened to an extent where the heart is having problems functioning properly,” Dr. Ackles says and Jared’s heart sinks. “There are several treatments we can discuss. But first of all we want keep you here for a few days to monitor your condition closely, so we can make an informed decision.”
“No,” Jared shakes his head.
“What?” Jeff asks. “Of course you’re staying here. Why would say ‘no’?”
“Jeff.” Jared takes a deep breath, looking over to Dr. Ackles for rescue, but the doctor is just looking at him with a determined look on his face, and he knows that he can’t expect help from him. “I can’t stay here.”
“Jared, this is your health. If you’re worried about that stupid fucking job of yours, don’t. You’ll find a new one.”
Jared huffs out a breath. “Oh will I? Because I’m so fucking qualified for anything besides working with a phone. Open your eyes, Jeff. There is nothing else for me. And you know they’ll fire me the moment I don’t turn up in the morning. How will I be able to pay the rent if I stay here, huh?”
“You’re not going back into that shit hole,” Jeff says loudly. “It’s probably the reason your condition got worse.”
“So, and where would I live, huh?”
“You’ll live with us, of course.”
Jared shakes his head. “No. I won’t. The house is just big enough for you and your family.”
“We can get a bigger one,” Jeff says.
“Damn it, Jeff!” Jared pushes up to sit in his bed, a wave of dizziness hitting him. “Don’t be stupid. You’re not gonna put yourself into debt because of me. I won’t let you.”
“You’re family, Jared. My family. I buried Dad, I buried Mom, and now you just want me to let you die too? Well fuck you.”
Jeff throws up his hands and then storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Jared flinches at the sound. His gaze falls on the doctors who had stood by, watching in silence the whole time.
“Well, good job,” he says angrily. “If you’d have just let me walk away. But no, you had to play hero. Save the poor kid.”
“Jared,” Dr. Ackles says and Jared hates the compassion he hears in his voice. “We can help you. Maybe you should just tell your brother about the ‘no insurance’ thing?”
Jared snorts. “Listen, I put my mom out of her home because she thought she could save me. I won’t do that to my brother and his family. I have this disease and I will deal with it. I know it’ll kill me sooner or later.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Dr. McCoy says. “There are ways, treatments.”
“Not for me,” Jared shakes his head. “I can’t afford them and it’s okay. I’ve made my peace with it.”
“Okay,” Dr. Ackles says. “I will talk to the hospital board; see if we can’t get them to take care of the costs. We’ve taken pro-bono cases before. And yours is definitely good enough to be considered. But you have to promise me that you’ll stay at least for tonight.”
Jared sighs. “I…” He doesn’t know why Dr. Ackles doesn’t just want to let him go, but in the end he shrugs. “Okay. One night.”
Jared’s brother is sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting area, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands. Jensen takes a deep breath and walks over, sitting down in the chair across from the man.
“He’s staying tonight.”
Mr. Padalecki lift’s his head and Jensen’s heart hurts with the devastation he sees in his eyes. “I don’t get it. Why would he not consider treatment? Why would he just decide to die?”
Jensen doesn’t really have an answer to that. “Well, he’ll stay tonight and then we’ll see. You should go talk to him, show him that you’re still here.”
“I just… I did everything. After my dad died I…” he shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than listen to me whine.” He straightens his shoulders. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll see you in the morning then.”
He stands up and Jensen watches the change in his posture. Only seconds ago he was barely holding it together and now he’s standing straight, the look on his face determined. He nods at Jensen and then walks over to Jared’s room.
Jensen watches them through the window. He can’t hear them but he sees them hug after a little while, knowing that no matter what, Jared’s brother will be there for Jared.
He sighs and looks at his watch. It’s after 7 p.m. but he doesn’t think that JD Morgan has left the hospital yet. So he makes his way over to the office of the chief of surgery and knocks.
“C’min.”
Jensen pushes his head through a little gap. “You got some time for me?”
JD Morgan has been Jensen’s mentor ever since he first started his internship at the hospital. The older man smiles at him and nods. “Sure thing, Jen.” He pushes the papers on his desk away, while Jensen steps into the room. “What can I do for you?”
Jensen hands over Jared Padalecki’s file. “I was thinking you could talk to the board about taking his case pro-bono.”
JD frowns, thumbing through the file. “Jensen,” he starts and Jensen knows without a doubt that he’s already lost. It’s clear in the tone of JD’s voice. He knows when his mentor is trying to be gentle while letting him down easy.
“Why not?” he asks, interrupting whatever JD wants to say next. JD sighs, pinching his nose. “He’s an ideal candidate.”
“Jensen, you know about the pro-bono case of the Siamese twins we’ve taken on. The surgery is scheduled to go down in two days.”
“I know. But we’ve taken more pro-bono cases at once before.”
“Not in an economic crisis,” JD says and Jensen looks at his mentor, feeling stunned.
“So what, we’re letting people die now?”
“Of course not, Jensen.” JD shakes his head. “But that man is not dying.”
“Not yet. We can save him, JD. Make his life better with only a little bit of work. And you’re saying we can’t because of some money?” Jensen throws his hands up when he sees the resigned look on JD’s face. “That’s exactly what you’re saying, right?”
“I’m sorry, Jensen. But my hands are tied here.”
“Well thanks for nothing,” Jensen grits out and slams the door on his way out of JD’s office. Not that it’ll help change the man’s mind (haven’t brought it to the board).
“Whoa!”
Jensen closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. “What, Mike?”
He feels Mike’s arm fall around his shoulders and he looks over to his friend. “Looks like someone needs to get drunk tonight.”
Jensen thinks about it. The prospect of just getting drunk is really tempting, even though he really shouldn’t. But what the heck? In the morning he’ll have to tell Jared that they can’t really take him on pro-bono and he knows that Jared will just walk out of here without a look back. So yeah, getting drunk definitely sounds like a great option right now.
“Let’s get drunk,” he hollers when he pulls away from Mike’s lips and Jensen is grateful for the shot glass that Steve is pushing in his direction.
The liquid burns in his throat and he reaches for a second one before the first one is really down yet. It makes his body feel warm and he loses himself in the feel. He hasn’t really drunk any alcohol, except the occasional beer, since three days after Justin left and that was almost nine months ago. So the alcohol goes to his head pretty quickly and he starts rambling about Jared, and how unfair it is that they will have to let him go because the world’s economics is fucked to hell.
Steve listens to him, nodding along. He’s pretty wasted too. Good thing Chris is behind the bar today, because he keeps the drinks coming.
“Y’know I wonder when saving lives turned into a matter of budgets and money,” Jensen grumbles, throwing back another shot.
“Always,” Mike says, planting a sloppy kiss to Tom’s cheek. “It’s always been about that. Money is always the issue.” Jensen snorts. “Maybe not for you,” Mike adds. “But for everyone else.”
Jensen feels the alcohol turn sour in his stomach at Mike’s throw away comment. He knows that Mike doesn’t care, none of his friends do. But there’s a reason he doesn’t advertise where he’s from.
“If I could just figure out a way to help him.”
“You could just give him the money,” Tom says and Jensen huffs out a laugh.
“Right, as if he’ll take it.”
Chris leans against the bar, handing out another round of shots. “He should just find someone wealthy to marry, problem solved.”
Jensen laughs and the others join in. Yeah, that would definitely solve the problem. Jensen doesn’t think Jared knows anyone wealthy to marry though.
It’s after midnight when he finally makes it home. The moon is shining into the room through the huge windows at the end of the room, reflecting on the spotless marble floor. He stumbles along the hallway and into the bedroom, falling down onto his bed. He buries his head in his pillows and prays that the hangover won’t be so bad in the morning.
Yes, Jared hates hospitals.
Now more than ever.
“Rise and shine! It’s a beautiful morning.”
Jared closes his eyes tighter, turning away from the cheerful voice.
The curtains of his windows are pulled open and Jared huffs out a breath, squinting his eyes open. He wishes instantly that the curtains could have stayed shut, because now Jared has to look out of the window to see a blue sky and Central Park being bathed in the morning sun.
“I’m Chad. I’ll bring you some breakfast in a minute.”
Jared’s eyes swing to the cheerful voice, being faced with a skinny blond guy who’s about his age. “Don’t bother. I’m not hungry,” Jared says, looking at the clock on the wall. “When will Dr. Ackles be here?”
The guy - Chad apparently - looks at him and shakes a finger right before Jared’s face. “Oh no, everyone will eat breakfast on my watch. It’s the most important meal of the day.” He nods. “And Dr. Ackles will be by when he has the time. So get comfortable.” He checks Jared’s vitals and nods, seemingly satisfied. “I’ll be back in a sec.”
Jared groans. He can’t deal with so much cheerfulness in the morning. And he really doesn’t want to stay here any longer. The bill is getting higher with every passing second.
Chad comes back with breakfast, which consists of toast, jam and green Jell-O. Great, he can’t stand Jell-O ever since he was five and had eaten so much of it he had thrown up afterwards.
“I’ll be back with your medication after breakfast. So eat,” Chad says, leaving Jared to nibble on his toast.
Ten minutes later he’s back collecting the rest of Jared’s breakfast. “You sure you don’t want the Jell-O for later?”
Jared nods. “I’m sure.”
“Good. Now here’s your medication.” He hands Jared a pill container and waits for Jared to swallow them.
Jared doesn’t think it’ll do any good anyway, not after not taking it for almost fifteen years. But he figures it can’t hurt him either. So he takes them.
“Will Dr. Ackles be by shortly?”
“What? You got another appointment today?”
Jared huffs out a breath. “Yeah. But it’s none of your business. So would you just get him?”
“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine,” Chad grumbles. “I’ll go and tell him you’ve asked for him.”
Jared lies back in his bed, his eyes once again going to the clock on the wall. With every tick Jared feels himself getting more into debt and he considers just checking out right now. Nobody will care anyway, but Jeff will tear him a new one if he gets here and Jared’s gone. He sighs and decides to wait.
It’s an hour later, when the door to the room finally opens and Dr. Ackles steps in. From the look on his face Jared already knows that he hadn’t been able to convince the board to take his case on as pro-bono.
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Ackles says.
Jared shrugs. “Not that I believed it would really happen anyway. So, will you let me get out of here now? Discharge me already? I have to get back to work, so I can start earning the money to pay the hospital bill.”
“Jared…”
“Listen,” Jared says, letting out a deep breath. “I know you wanna help me. But there’s nothing you can do. So just let me leave with some of my dignity still intact.”
Jared swings his legs off the bed and makes his way over to the closet where his clothes are stored. He still feels a little dizzy but it’s not as bad as yesterday. He pulls out his jeans and shirt, and when he turns, Dr. Ackles is looking at him with an odd look on his face.
“What?”
“Marry me.”
“What?” Jared asks stunned.
“Marry me.”
“You’re crazy.”
“You need insurance. I have insurance. So marry me.”
Jensen doesn’t even know what got into him when he said those words. But the moment they’re out, he knows that it’s the right thing to do. He can save Jared.
Jared’s staring at him with a disbelieving look on his face and Jensen takes a step closer. “It doesn’t have to be for long. Just y’know for as long as it takes to get you better.”
“Why? Why are you offering this?”
“Because I can make you better. I’m sorry but the hospital can’t take your case pro-bono. So I’m offering you a different way.”
“Do you offer that to all your patients?” Jared asks and Jensen huffs out a laugh.
“Only the good looking ones.” Jared rolls his eyes, but Jensen can see him relax a little. “Jared, it doesn’t have to be anything besides a business deal. The bed in my guest room is really comfy.”
Jared shakes his head, he looks confused. “What? You want me to move in too?”
“Course. I mean we… we have to make it as real as possible, right?”
“I don’t get you.” Jared shakes his head, running his hand through his long hair. “How would you even think of something like that?”
Jensen shrugs. “It was just an idea that came to me.”
“An idea that would get me insurance,” Jared says, still looking pretty stunned.
“Yes. So what do you say?”
“This is crazy. No one will believe that we married for love. I mean we only met yesterday.”
Jared’s right. No one will believe that. But it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that Jared will have insurance and Jensen will have a way to make Jared’s life better.
“Does it matter?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to tell Jeff.”
“Tell me what?”
Jensen spins around and sees Jared’s brother standing in the doorway. He doesn’t know how much the man heard, but it’s clear that he heard some of it from the look on his face.
“Jeff,” Jared breathes. “I…”
“Tell me what, JT? That you lost your insurance or that you’re considering marrying this guy for money.”
“Jeff, please.”
Jensen knows that he should leave, but when he makes his way to the door, Jeff slams it shut. “You stay where you are.” Jensen stops and lets out a deep breath.
“I was just trying to help.”
“You wait your turn,” Jeff hisses and turns back to Jared. “Now tell me, damn it, Jared. When did you lose your insurance? Why didn’t you come to me? We could have figured something out.”
Jared shakes his head. “What, Jeff? What would you have figured out? You have your family to think about.”
“Jared, we’ve always found a way, haven’t we?”
Jensen hears the desperation in Jeff’s voice and he can see the same desperation displayed on Jared’s face.
Jared shakes his head. “I’m not sorry. I already put mom out of her house and home. I’m not gonna do the same to you.”
Something flashes across Jeff’s face. “You haven’t even kept up with your medication, have you?” Jared doesn’t answer, but Jensen doesn’t think he has to. Jeff’s already figured it out. “Have you, Jared?” His voice is loud and it echoes in the room.
“No, okay. No!” Jared yells back.
“Why, JT?” Jeff’s voice is soft again. “This is your health we’re talking about. Why would you do that? How long ago did you stop?”
Jared hangs his shoulders. “Jeff, don’t.”
Jeff’s face falls. “Tell me you didn’t stop when mom lost the house. Tell me!”
“What did you want me to do, Jeff?” Jared shoots back. “I had Megan to think about.”
“I sent you money.”
“Which I used to pay the bills.”
“I could have sent more.”
Jared shakes his head stubbornly. “You were going to college, damn it! I didn’t want you to put yourself into debt. I was the reason Megan and Mom lost everything, you think I would have wanted you to lose everything too?”
Jeff takes a step closer to his brother. “It wasn’t your fault, JT.”
Jared snorts. “Right, if I hadn’t gotten sick, if Dad hadn’t passed this on to me, Mom would still be happily living in her house in the suburbs.”
“JT…”
“I will never do that to you and Karen. Never,” Jared says, determined. “And I’ve been dealing fine so far.”
Jeff shakes his head. “You’re sick, JT. The condition has become worse.”
“I’ll be fine.” Jared turns to Jensen. “Tell him.”
“Jared will be fine,” Jensen says. “There are several options and treatments, and once he’s on my insurance, we’ll find something that’ll make him better.”
Jeff looks at Jensen incredulously. “Why? Why would you even offer something like that?”
“I’ve tried to get Jared onto the pro-bono list, but it’s not an option right now. I’m offering a solution that’ll make all of us happy. Jared will have a long life ahead of him and I won’t have to say that I sent someone I could have helped away because of money issues.”
“Are you even real?” Jeff asks and Jensen chuckles.
“I think I am. And the marriage doesn’t have to last for long, just for the time it takes to make Jared better.”
“I can’t believe we’re even talking about this,” Jeff says, turning to Jared. “You gonna say ‘Yes’?”
Jared shrugs. “Only if you’re okay with it.”
“This’ll make you better, right?”
“Right,” Jensen agrees and Jared nods.
“Then I’m okay with it.” Jeff pulls Jared into a tight hug and Jensen feels completely out of place, but there’s nowhere he can go now. “Whatever it takes, JT. Whatever it takes.” He lets go and turns to Jensen, holding out his hand. “Guess we should at least shake hands if you’re going to be my brother-in-law.” Jensen smiles a little and shakes it. “I’m Jeff.”
“Jensen.”
Jared looks over at him. “Jensen,” he repeats. “I like it. So what are we gonna do now, Jensen?”
“You okay?” Jensen asks, sounding amused.
“You didn’t tell me that you lived in a penthouse on the Upper East Side.” Jared looks out of the huge window right down to Central Park.
“Would that have changed your decision?”
It’s been a week since Jensen asked Jared to marry him and Jared’s head still feels like it’s spinning. He still isn’t sure why Jensen offered to marry him so he could have insurance and he’s not sure Jensen knows it either.
They had gotten married that day a week ago at city hall. It was fast and completely anti-climactic. Jared still wonders about the fact that his hand wasn’t shaking when he signed the marriage document.
But here he is, after a week in the hospital where Jensen had made sure that Jared had adapted to his new medication - a mix of beta-blockers, calcium antagonists and anti-arrhythmic drugs.
While he was in the hospital, Jeff and Karen - who had taken the whole story with a lot of grace, ‘Whatever makes you better, Jared,’ she had whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek - had gotten his things out of his apartment and moved them into Jensen’s guest room.
What they had forgotten to tell him - and apparently Jensen had too - was that Jensen owns a penthouse at the New Yorker Upper East Side, two blocks away from the hospital.
Jared runs his fingers over the immaculate surface of the open kitchen counter, ignoring Jensen’s question in favor of asking his own, “Do you ever cook here?”
“Not really,” Jensen says. “I’m not a good cook. Sorry, maybe I should have mentioned this before. I hope you weren’t hoping for me to cook.”
Jared turns around to him and sees teasing eyes sparkling at him. A smile is tugging at the edges of Jensen’s mouth and Jared thinks obviously having fun suits Jensen very much. He’s a handsome guy to begin with, but the crinkle around his eyes that appear when he smiles, make him even more beautiful.
“Naw, I’m a pretty decent cook myself, so don’t worry. And if you’re nice, you might find yourself a home cooked meal once in a while.” Jared winks at him and Jensen laughs.
“C’mon, I’ll show you the guest room.”
They walk over to the hallway that starts at the other end of the living room and Jensen pushes open the second door on the right. It opens to a big, bright room with a huge bed a walk-in closet and an en-suit bathroom. It’s probably bigger than his whole apartment.
The room is painted a light beige with several sepia pictures of New York lining the walls. The shelves are lined with his books and DVDs, and there’s a picture of him, Megan and Jeff sitting on the nightstand.
“You like it?” Jared nods dumbly, not knowing what to say. Jensen grins. “Good. I hoped so.”
The doorbell rings and Jensen claps his shoulder. “Get settled and I’ll see who’s at the door.”
Jared smiles cautiously and watches Jensen leave the room, closing the door. He drops down onto the bed. The mattress is soft, but not too soft and Jared falls back. It feels perfect. It’s been a while since he slept in a decent bed. The one in his old apartment had been old and the mattress had sagged in the middle.
He closes his eyes and feels the excitement from the whole day get the better of him. He starts drifting off until he hears loud voices in the living room.
Jared’s good looking, but the smile really does things to Jensen. This isn’t supposed to be anything but a business arrangement to get Jared better, so Jensen tries to ignore the flutter in his chest whenever Jared smiles at him, even though there are dimples and he always had thing for them.
He walks to the door and sighs when he sees Mike standing out in the hallway. Why did he ever tell Benny, the doorman, that he could let his friends up without calling first?
Jensen has been avoiding Mike for a reason over the last week and the look on Mike’s face tells him that his friend is not happy about it.
“Open the door, Jenny. I know you’re home.”
Of course he does. Jensen takes a deep breath and opens the door. “Hey, Mike,” he says casually, stepping back to let Mike through. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? What’s up?!” Mike asks loudly and Jensen cringes, hoping that Jared won’t hear them. “How about, you marrying some guy out of the blue?”
Jensen groans. “How do you know about that?”
“Your name is on his insurance information, so I called them asking about it. They told me that he’s your husband. What the fuck, Jensen?”
“Will you calm down, damn it,” Jensen hisses. “Jared’s in his room. He really doesn’t need to hear you throwing a fit.”
“Me throwing a fit?” Mike retorts. He throws his hands up. “How about my best friend going insane over night? What were you thinking, Jen?”
“I was thinking that it was Jared’s only hope. And Chris even said he should just marry a rich guy. So he did.”
“Just that, I’m pretty sure you weren’t the rich guy Chris was talking about.”
Jensen shrugs. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters,” Mike says, shaking his head. “Have you even thought about the possibility that he might have planned all this to get your money?”
Jensen huffs out a humorless laugh. “Right. What? He just got himself HCM and then didn’t take his medication for years, quit his insurance and then fainted in Central Park so he’d get brought to my hospital so he could then get into my pants? Are you paranoid?”
Mike presses his lips tightly together. “Okay so maybe the HCM is real.”
“It is,” Jensen says and Mike rolls his eyes.
“But he could still have planned it all. Maybe he heard about you and then he comes to the hospital and gives you some sob story as to how he doesn’t have insurance and asks you to marry him.”
Jensen opens his mouth to tell Mike that he was the one to propose, but Jared is quicker, saying, “I’m not a gold digger, thank you very much. Besides, it was your friend who asked me. Not the other way around.”
Mike shuts his mouth instantly, looking straight at Jensen, who just nods. “Jared’s right, I did ask him.” He shrugs apologetically when he says, “I’m sorry, Jared. Mike’s normally not such an ass.” He contemplates and adds, “Well, most times.”
“You asked him?” Mike asks, sounding completely baffled.
“Yes, I did,” Jensen says.
“But,” Mike stops and looks him up and down. “Who are you and what did you do to Jensen?”
Jensen chuckles. “Calm down, Mike. It’s just a business arrangement. We get Jared better and then we’ll get divorced. Right, Jared?”
“Right.”
“I need a drink,” Mike breathes, turning to the bar. “Anyone else want something?” Jensen nods, but Jared shakes his head.
“I’m not allowed to drink, but thank you,” he says, sounding as if he’s forgiven Mike for calling him a gold digger.
Mike nods absently, but pours himself and Jensen a whiskey each, handing it to him. They clink glasses and Jensen takes a swallow, feeling the alcohol burn in his throat.
“You okay again?”
Mike shakes his head. “Not sure. Wait until the others hear about your insanity.”
Jensen cringes. He can just imagine what they’ll say.
“Maybe we should invite them,” Jared says, walking closer to Jensen. “Y’know, get my brother over here too, so they can all bond over our insanity. I’m sure they’d get along great.”
Jensen looks at Jared, thinking Jared might be the insane one. But then he thinks about it and maybe the idea isn’t so bad.
“Sounds good. Tomorrow night, Mike. Bring the guys. You’re meeting Jared’s family, so be on your best behavior.”
Mike’s eyes grow wide. “I need to get drunk. I seriously need to get drunk.”
Jensen laughs. “We’ll see you tomorrow. Seven p.m. sharp. And no emergencies, you hear me. I’m expecting you to be here.”
Mike flees and Jared laughs out loud, his head thrown back and he looks completely at ease. Jensen allows himself to watch for one second, because it’s a beautiful picture.
He’d slept like a baby and he doesn’t really want to get up, but he can hear Jensen rummaging around in the living room. So he gets out of bed and makes his way into the living room. Jensen turns around from where he’s working the coffee machine. He’s already dressed in jeans and a light blue button down shirt.
“Hey, morning.”
Jared smiles. “Morning.”
“You want some OJ?” Jared nods and sits down on one of the bar stools. Jensen cocks his head. “You feeling okay?”
Jared takes a deep breath and nods. “Just feeling a little dizzy. Probably got up too fast.”
Jensen gets out some OJ and pours Jared a glass, putting it in front of him. Then he goes over to where they stashed Jared’s medications yesterday and takes out three pills. “Here, take them.”
Jared sighs, but swallows them down with the OJ. Yesterday had been such a good day that Jared had almost been able to forget about his heart condition. But, of course, life reminds him right away.
“Hey,” Jensen says and Jared looks over at him. Concern is written all over his face, but there’s an encouraging smile displayed there as well. “There’ll be good days and there’ll be bad days, but we’ll manage. Make sure that the bad days only occur once in a while, huh?”
Jared forces a smile. “Yeah, sure.”
“You want me to call everyone and postpone our dinner?”
“No.” Jared shakes his head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, but promise me you’ll take it easy today. Just relax; watch some TV, read a book, something like that.”
Jared wants to protest, but since he lost his job the first day he hadn’t turn up at the office and he hasn’t had time to find a new one, there isn’t really anything else for him to do.
“I wanted to make my famous Chili for tonight,” he says.
“Jared,” Jensen starts, but Jared interrupts him, holding up his hands.
“But I’ll call Karen, so she can help me.” Jensen seems to be pleased with that and Jared adds, “You can go to work now. Worry about someone else for a change.”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “I’ll be home on time.”
Jared nods. “Okay. See you tonight then.”
Jensen grabs his keys and wallet, waving to Jared before he’s out the door. The moment Jared’s alone it hits him how completely domestic they’re being. It doesn’t even feel weird, and shouldn’t that freak him out? But it feels like he and Jensen just fit.
Oh no, he won’t fall for Jensen. Not when this is all just a damn business arrangement.
He grabs the phone before he can think about how Jensen’s smile makes him feel for another second and dials Karen’s number. She answers on the second ring, telling him that she’ll go grocery shopping for the Chili and then come right over.
Jared has to admit that it has its advantages when your sister-in-law is a stay-at-home mom right now. He takes a shower in the meantime and gets dressed, only now realizing that he had sat at the kitchen bar dressed only in boxers and a ratty old t-shirt. Jensen didn’t seem to mind though.
Benny calls to announce Karen’s arrival and Jared waits at the door for her. He smiles and waves at her and the kids when they step out of the elevator. Jamie just runs right towards him and he picks him up. Ashley is more hesitant. He hasn’t seen the kids since he collapsed in the park over a week ago and he guesses that Ashley is still pretty much freaked out.
“Hey, pumpkin. Don’t I get a hug?”
“Are you okay, Uncle JT? Mom said you’re sick.”
Jared kneels down, setting Jamie on the floor, but keeping his arm around his nephew. “Your mom’s right. I’m sick, but I’m lucky and the doctors are going to make me all better. And I know that a hug from my favorite niece would make me even better.”
She gives him one of her blinding smiles and he pulls her into a tight hug. He lets out a contented breath when she wraps her small arms around him.
He kisses her cheek and then leads them all inside. Ashley’s eyes almost pop when she sees the inside of the penthouse. “Is this a castle?” she asks, sounding in awe.
Jared laughs. “Naw, it’s just a penthouse.”
“Are you living here now, Uncle JT?”
Jared nods. “Yes. You know that Uncle JT got married, right?” Ashley nods seriously. Both kids had been at Karen’s parents while they had been at city hall. “This is Uncle Jensen’s place and now I’m living with him. You’ll meet him later.”
Ashley nods and takes Jamie’s hand. “Don’t touch anything,” she says seriously. “We don’t want to break things.”
Jared and Karen chuckle before Jared goes to hug Karen quickly. “Thanks for coming by.”
Karen looks at him intently. “Sure, no problem. How are you feeling, JT?”
Jared shrugs. “Jensen said that there’ll be good days and bad days. Today is not such a good day.”
“Does the medication help at least?” she asks, concerned.
Jared nods. “It does. So how about we get started on the Chili. It needs to simmer for a few hours.”
“Can we help?” Ashley asks and Jared grins at her.
“Of course! Wouldn’t be my famous Chili without your help.”
“Marrying someone to get them insurance is fraud. You know that, right?”
Jensen sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “Only if someone tells them.”
JD drops into a chair opposite of Jensen. “What are you doing, Jensen? This is not like you.”
“I’m saving a life,” Jensen says calmly. “We both know that Jared would have died sooner rather than later if he hadn’t gotten the treatment he needs. You’ve seen his file.”
“But marrying him?”
“You didn’t leave me any choice, JD. It was the only way.” Jensen lets out a deep breath. “Besides Jared’s a good guy, it’s not so bad having him around.”
JD cocks his head and raises his eyebrows. “This is the first time you’ve done something completely insane and spontaneous in all the years we’ve known each other. For a guy you don’t even know.”
Jensen shrugs. JD is right. He’s not a spontaneous type of guy. He plans everything. He’s calm and thinks about things. But not with Jared. With Jared it’s different and he isn’t even sure why.
“He deserves to have a good life,” Jensen says. “And that’s all I’m giving him.”
“You’re an amazing doctor, Jensen,” JD says. “I just really hope you know what you’re doing right now.”
Jensen doesn’t, not really. But for once in his life it feels right to just follow his gut.
“I’ll be fine. But thanks for the concern.” He gets his papers in order and stands up. “I need to go. There’s a bypass waiting for me.”
JD nods and waves him away. “Good luck.”
Jensen knows JD doesn’t just mean the surgery he’s doing in a little while, but everything else too. He gives JD a small smile and nods. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
He makes his way into the kitchen to find Karen stirring something in a huge pot, while two small children are sitting on the kitchen floor; the girl coloring in a coloring book and the boy playing with two toy cars.
“Hey,” he says and all three look at him.
Karen smiles, while both kids stare at him with big eyes. “Hey. Jared had to go and lie down. He wasn’t feeling too well.”
Jensen’s heart sinks a little. “I’ll go check on him.” But before he can turn around the little girl steps up to him.
“Are you Uncle Jensen?” Jensen is a little taken aback, because he hadn’t really thought about it. But he figures he technically is Uncle Jensen now. So he nods. “I’m Ashley and that’s Jamie.”
Jensen smiles. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He means it. He hasn’t really had all that much to do with kids lately, but he’s always gotten along with them pretty well.
Ashley beams at him. “Mommy said you’re going to make Uncle JT all better.”
“I will do my best.”
“Uncle JT is my favorite uncle,” she says seriously and Jensen smiles softly.
“I promise to take good care of your Uncle JT.”
After a moment, she nods and smiles before going back to her coloring book. Jensen looks up and sees Karen giving him a thumbs up. He smiles. “I’m gonna…” he motions towards Jared’s bedroom and Karen nods, smiling too.
Jared’s bedroom is half dark but Jensen can see enough so he doesn’t turn on the lights. Jared’s in bed, his breath shallow but steady. Jensen takes out the blood pressure monitor and puts it around Jared’s biceps, trying not to wake him.
But Jared stirs anyway, blinking his eyes open. A smile forms on his face when he sees Jensen and Jensen’s heart jumps a little, because it really is a beautiful smile.
“Hey, you’re home.”
“I am. Heard that you’re not feeling so good.”
“I’m okay. Just a little tired.”
“I’m gonna call everyone and postpone our dinner.”
Jared sits up at once and shakes his head. “No, don’t. I’m fine.”
“Jared,” Jensen says softly.
“No. I’m good. I’ve slept. I feel better now.”
“Jay,” the nickname slips out before Jensen can really help himself, but he’s rewarded with one of the most brilliant smiles he’s ever seen.
“Only my dad ever called me Jay. I like you calling me Jay.”
Jensen grins sheepishly and continues. “Okay, Jay. But the others will understand if we postpone the dinner.”
Jared shakes his head. “No way. I’m good. And I’ll be going to the hospital for a check-up tomorrow anyway, so you’ll see that I’m good.”
Jensen lets out a deep breath. “Fine. But you take it easy tonight. Doctor’s orders.”
“Okay.” Jared nods and smiles.
It hits Jared in that moment that this feels like they really are a family. This feels so completely normal and right that he’s thrown for a loop for a moment. It’s not meant to be anything more than a business arrangement. But when Jensen smiles at him when he turns around with their drinks, Jared can’t help but feel a flutter in his heart.
He smiles back and for a second it’s just them looking at each other. He can’t remember ever having such a connection to someone other than his immediate family.
Someone pulls at his hand and he looks down, breaking up the moment. Ashley is grinning at him and he grins back.
“What’s up, Princess?”
“Come. I’ve made a picture for you.”
She pulls him over to where her coloring things are lying all over the floor. For a second he’s worried what Jensen will say, but when he sees him stepping carefully around Ashley’s toys, he knows that Jensen doesn’t really mind. Ashley grabs a piece of paper from the floor and then hands it to Jared.
“Here. It’s you and Uncle Jensen.”
Jared looks down, seeing a drawing of two men holding hands. There’s a house too and a dog. A smile starts stretching across his face. If this wasn’t just what it is, Jared can totally imagine him and Jensen getting a house and a dog.
“That’s beautiful, honey.”
Jared looks over his shoulder to see Jensen standing close behind him, just a few inches and they’d be touching.
“How about we put it up on the fridge?” Jensen asks and Ashley beams at him.
“Really?”
Jensen nods and takes the drawing from Jared’s hand, accidentally brushing his fingers. Jared’s fingers tingle and he has to pull himself together quickly, because they’re not a family and this is not real. Jensen is helping him out and when he’s all better they’ll go their separate ways again.
This is nothing but a business arrangement.
“Jay, you okay?”
Jared blinks and nods, forcing a smile at Jensen. “Yeah, of course.”
The doorbell rings and Jared lets out a relieved breath when Jensen makes his way over to the front door.
A warm hand comes to lie on the small of his back and he turns to see Karen watching him with soft eyes. “It’ll be okay,” she says. “Everything will work out.”
Jared smiles awkwardly. Nothing has ever really worked out how he wanted it to work out in his life before, so why should this be any different?
Jensen’s friends seem to have met Jeff in the foyer, because all of them trail into the living room behind Jensen.
“So you’re the one making an honest man out of Jensen, huh?” a guy with long dark blond hair says.
Jared shrugs. “I guess so.”
“Well you’re really pretty, so I can totally see why Jensen would want to tie the knot with you.”
“Shut up, Chris,” another guy with long brown hair says. “Don’t be an ass.” He holds out his hand to Jared. “I’m Steve. And this asshole here’s Chris.”
Jared shakes their hands. “It’s nice to meet you, I guess.”
Steve grins. “You’ll get used to him.”
“It just takes a while,” says the tall guy standing next to Mike. “Hi, I’m Tom. Mike’s better half.”
“Hey,” Jared replies. “Nice to meet you.”
For a second an awkward and tense silence hangs in the air, before Karen says, “Let’s spice things up and have some Chili.”
It makes everyone laugh a little and Jensen hands out some beers to his friends, Karen and Jeff, while Jared pours the kids and himself some soda. It gets easier after that. The Chili is a hit and Tom, Mike’s boyfriend, even wants to have the recipe.
Jared finds out that Chris and Steve own the bar across from the hospital, while Tom works as a nurse in peds. He already knew that Mike’s an attending in neuro. Karen tells a few funny stories about things Ashley and Jamie have done, and Jeff even gets out some anecdotes from when he and Jared were kids.
It feels good, easy even, and Jared can’t help himself but look at Jensen more often than not. The thing is, most times Jensen’s looking right back at him. Their eyes meet more than once and Jared can’t help but smile each and every time. Despite the fatigue and the shortness of breath he’s feeling today, he hasn’t felt as good as right now in years.
Jeff, Karen and the kids leave first. The two rug rats ready to drop. Jared kisses both their cheeks, before thanking his brother and sister-in-law for coming by.
“Anytime,” Karen says. “And remember my words,” she adds cryptically, kissing Jared’s cheeks.
“Rest, little brother,” Jeff says, pulling Jared into a half hug. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jared waves after them and then wanders back into the living room, where Jensen is sitting on the couch. He drops down next to him, causing Jensen to turn towards him.
“You okay?”
Jared yawns and nods. “Fine.”
Jensen snorts. “You’re beat. Go to bed. I’ll kick them out.”
“Hey!” Mike complains.
“Shut up,” Jensen says. “Jared’s beat. And we all have to be at work in the morning anyway.”
“You maybe,” Chris says. “We don’t open before noon.”
Steve pulls him up. “Don’t be an ass. Come on, maybe the cute little blond you’ve been eyeing all week is at the bar again.”
Chris’ face lights up. “Hmm, sounds good.” He stands up and holds his hand out to Jared. “It was nice to meet you, Jared. Jensen could have done worse.”
Jared chuckles tiredly. “Thanks, I guess.”
He watches Jensen lead his friends to the front door and then lets out a deep breath when the door closes behind them. Jensen turns around.
“You’re not in bed yet.”
Jared smiles a little, laying his head on the back of the couch. “Not yet.”
“Did you take your pills?” Jensen asks and Jared feels a warm feeling fill his heart.
“Yes, Doctor.”
Jensen chuckles. “C’mon then, let’s get you to bed.”
“I can walk, y’know,” Jared says, slapping Jensen’s hands away gently. He gets up and makes his way to his bedroom. He can hear Jensen following him. “What? You wanna tuck me in?” he asks amused, looking at Jensen over his shoulder.
Jensen stops at the door and for a moment Jared thinks he might say ‘yes’ and Jared wouldn’t say ‘no’ either. But then Jensen smiles softly and shakes his head.
“Good night, Jay.”
Jared smiles. “Night, Jen.”
Jensen looks a little surprised at the nickname, but then he smiles broadly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Jared falls asleep that night with the image of Jensen smiling in his head.
Jensen looks up from the files he’s been studying. “Thanks, Chad. I’ll go and see him in a minute.”
Last night had been a total success. Jared had wormed his way right into Jensen’s friends’ hearts, and it doesn’t surprise Jensen in the least. Jared just has that effect on people. You meet him and there’s just something about him that pulls you right in.
Jensen smiles at the memory of Jared calling him ‘Jen’. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy when Jared used his nickname last night. It’s stupid, really, just how much he wants to listen to Jared say his name over and over again.
He pushes open the door to Jared’s room and stops dead in his tracks when he sees JD standing next to Jared’s bed, checking the file.
“What’s going on?” He looks at Jared, who looks just as confused as Jensen does. “JD?”
“Ah, there you are. Take a seat. I’m sure you wanna be here when we talk about your husband’s condition.”
“What?”
“You don’t really think that I’d allow you to treat your own husband, do you Jensen? I mean that’s a serious conflict of interest.”
“But…”
“He’s your husband, right, Jensen?” Jensen nods dumbly. “Then I will take over as his doctor. But of course you have every right to stay here while we do your husband’s check-up.”
Jensen huffs out a breath, but sits down next to Jared’s bed. Jared gives him a small smile and Jensen feels himself calm down. He should be the one to give Jared reassurance, not the other way around.
“Y’know, I’m fine,” Jared says. “You can go and check on your other patients and then come back and keep me company for lunch, huh?”
Jensen wants to say ‘no’ and that he’ll stay, but he doesn’t really have the time. Now that JD has taken over as Jared’s doctor, Jensen can spend more time on his other cases.
“Okay,” he nods. “I’ll be back at lunch.”
Jared grins. “Great. See you then.”
They’ve fallen into a routine, starting each day with breakfast. On the days Jared has to stay at the hospital for his check-up they have lunch in Jared’s room; on the other days Jared drops by for lunch in the cafeteria with Jensen. And at night Jared is waiting with dinner for Jensen. If he feels like it, he cooks for them and Jensen finds himself looking forward to those nights. Nights are spent in front of the TV watching movies or a game.
It’s nice and comfortable, and Jensen finds himself daydreaming about a future.
It’s stupid and he probably shouldn’t, but he can’t help himself. He likes having Jared around. They fit and it’s great to have someone waiting for him at home to share his day with.
Jared is witty and clever, making Jensen laugh so hard his belly hurts. But he can be serious too and Jensen is completely enthralled with Jared’s knowledge of almost everything. Jared says it’s because he reads everything he can find.
They spend weekends with Jared’s family and Jensen comes to cherish those moments when he can watch Jared with his niece and nephew. The joy on his face makes Jensen’s heart fill up with warmth.
Jared still has bad days when he’s short of breath and tired, and Jensen has to admit that it always makes him uncomfortable to leave Jared alone; he’d rather stay at home and hover, making sure that Jared is okay and comfortable.
A couple of days before Thanksgiving it’s especially bad. Jensen is in the kitchen preparing breakfast, scrambled eggs and pancakes, when he hears Jared’s alarm clock ring. He grins, knowing that Jared will pad into the room any minute, with his hair sleep tousled and his eyes still half closed.
But Jared doesn’t come. Jensen’s heart is beating rapidly in his chest. He wants to storm into the bedroom, make sure Jared’s okay. But what if he’d just gone into the en-suite bathroom? What if he just had to use the bathroom and it took a little longer? Jensen would make a fool out of himself.
When the alarm clock stops ringing after two minutes, though and the door to Jared’s room stays closed, Jensen thinks to hell with it.
He grabs Jared’s pills and a glass of water before making his way over to Jared’s room. Knocking carefully he waits for any word to let him know that it’s okay to enter. There’s nothing.
So, he pushes the door open. The room is dark and Jared is under the covers, looking like he’s curled into a ball.
“Jay?”
His answer is a rattling breath and Jensen walks over to the bed. He hesitates for a second before running his fingers gently through Jared’s hair.
“Hey,” he whispers. “I have your pills here.”
Jared turns around slowly. His face is covered in sweat and he looks pale. “Thanks,” he wheezes.
Jared’s hands are shaking, so Jensen pushes the pills into Jared’s mouth before lifting the glass of water to his lips. He makes sure that Jared drinks it all and then watches Jared lie back again.
“Bad day, huh?” he asks and something that Jensen is pretty sure is supposed to be a smile, appears on Jared’s face.
“You should be at work,” Jared says, taking rattling breaths between each word. Jensen’s heart aches for him and he hopes that the meds will kick in soon.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m right where I wanna be.” Out of instinct, he kicks off his shoes and then climbs into bed with Jared, who looks at him baffled. “Shh,” he whispers, manhandling Jared, so that he’s lying on Jensen’s chest, his one arm wrapped around Jared’s shoulder and the other hand running gentle fingers through his hair to soothe him. “Sleep. Leave the rest to me.”
“Jen…”
“Doctor’s orders,” he says seriously and Jared laughs, breaking into a cough, his whole body shaking when he tries to breathe. “Careful, careful.” Jensen helps Jared to sit up, rubbing a hand over Jared’s lower back. “Steady breaths, in and out. In and out.”
Eventually Jared’s breathing steadies and he sinks back against Jensen’s chest. Jensen wraps his arms around him, pressing his forehead against Jared’s shoulder blade.
“I hate this,” Jared says, his breath rattling.
“I know,” Jensen replies, pulling him back down so they’re lying down again. “Close your eyes and sleep. You need it. And I’m here, not going anywhere.”
He feels Jared tense in his arms, so he just tightens his hold until Jared relaxes. They lie in silence and eventually Jensen feels Jared getting heavy. His breath is shallow but steady and Jensen sends a little prayer upstairs for small mercies.
He needs to call the hospital, tell them that he won’t be in today, so he grabs the phone on Jared’s nightstand, calling the familiar number.
“Hello?”
“Mike, it’s me. I can’t come in today. Jared’s having a really bad day.”
There’s a pause at the other end of the line and then Mike sighs. “You sure you wanna do this? I mean, he’s not really your husband, you know that right?”
Jensen groans. “Don’t be an ass, Mike. He needs me.”
“Your patients need you too.”
“Will you just tell JD that I’ll be back tomorrow?”
He can imagine Mike shaking his head and rolling his eyes in the silence that follows. “I really hope you know what you’re doing, Jen.”
Jensen looks down at the sleeping man in his arms and he knows he’s doing the right thing. He can’t leave Jared now; he may never be able to. “Yeah, I do.”
“Good,” Mike says and he sounds as if he means it. “I’ll tell JD. So you take care of your lover boy.”
“He’s not…”
“Not yet,” Mike interrupts. “Have fun. Tell Jared I said ‘hi’. See you tomorrow.” Then the call is disconnected and Jensen is left staring at the display, feeling completely stunned.
Looking down at Jared again, he can’t help but run his fingers through his damp hair again. At least his forehead is not sticky with sweat anymore and his breathing has grown a little stronger too. The meds are helping.
Jensen must have drifted off, because when he opens his eyes the next time, Jared is propped up on his elbows, staring at him with an unreadable look on his face.
“Thank you,” he says and Jensen stretches his arms over his head, smiling.
“You’re welcome. You feeling better?”
Jared shrugs. “Tired, but at least I can breathe a little easier. Don’t you have to be at the hospital?”
“No.” Jensen shakes his head. “I called in, told them I’m staying home with you today.”
“You shouldn’t have,” Jared says, sighing. “I don’t wanna keep you from your job.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen replies quickly. “I could use a day off.” His stomach growls and Jared grins. “You up for some breakfast?” Jensen asks and Jared nods. “Okay, you stay here, I’m gonna heat up the eggs and the pancakes I made this morning.”
“I can sit at the table.”
Jensen shakes his head. “Man, stop being so stubborn and let your husband bring you breakfast in bed.” He winks and there’s a slight blush covering Jared’s cheeks.
He hurries with the breakfast and when he walks into the room again, Jared has pushed his pillows behind his back and is leaning against the headboard. Jensen smiles, when he notices that Jared is looking better than this morning.
Jensen puts the tray on the bed and then sits down across from Jared, pushing one plate towards him.
“Eat.”
“Yes, Doc.”
Jensen grins and opens today’s newspaper, skimming over the headlines. They eat in silence and Jensen enjoys the normalcy immensely. It’s nice and comfortable and something Jensen could really get used to.
Jared is the first to break the silence. “What are you doing Thanksgiving?”
Jensen looks up from the newspaper and shrugs. “Working.”
“Working?” Jared asks with raised eyebrows. “On Thanksgiving?”
“Well, people need doctors on Thanksgiving too.”
“Yeah, but…” Jared grows silent. “I just thought you might spend it with your family.”
Jensen puts down the newspaper. “I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but there’s a reason why I never mention them.”
Jared looks a little taken aback by the hardness in Jensen’s voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”
Jensen sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. But me and my family parted ways a long time ago.”
“But it still hurts, huh?” Jared asks softly.
Jensen sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and shrugs. “Sometimes,” he says truthfully. “Just sucks that my parents couldn’t accept that I’d rather become a doctor than run the family business. As if being a doctor is something less.”
Jared cocks his head. “What’s the family business?”
“Oil, a lot of oil. Ever heard of Ackles Oil?” Jared nods. “That’s the family business.”
Jared’s jaw drops a little and Jensen hadn’t expected anything else. People always look differently at him when they first hear that he’s the son of oil magnate Alan Ackles.
“Wow,” Jared breathes. “What did your parents do when they heard you didn’t want to join the company?”
Jensen lets out a deep breath. It’s been years since he talked about it, but it still stings. “When I told them that I wanted to go to Harvard and become a doctor, my father laughed in my face, as if being a doctor is not suitable for an Ackles.” Jensen snorts. “He told me that he wouldn’t pay for it. He just didn’t think about the fund my grandma had made for me. So I went anyway - got written out of the will for it. But they couldn’t touch the money my grandma left me. It was more than enough.”
Jared lets his gaze roam around the room and Jensen chuckles. “Yeah that was one of the luxuries I allowed myself when I moved here.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared says.
Jensen shakes his head. “It was a long time ago. I’m fine.”
“So that’s why you work on Thanksgiving?”
Jensen nods. “Yup. Better than staying at home, alone.” Jensen looks over to where Jared seems lost in his thoughts for a moment. “So, you going to see your family?”
Jared nods. “Megan is coming over, too. You’d like her.”
“I’m sure I would.” Jensen smiles. “Another time, maybe.”
“What about Christmas? You’re not working then, are you?”
Jensen laughs softly. “I can try and switch shifts with someone.”
Jared grins broadly at him. “That would be great.”
Jensen feels his heart jump a little at the thought that Jared is genuinely happy to spend Christmas with Jensen.
“What? Why?” Jensen asks immediately, when JD brings it up.
Jared looks at Jensen. “What’s he talking about, Jen?”
“Your test results show that your condition is getting worse, little by little, despite the medication you’re taking,” JD explains and Jensen feels his blood run cold. “An ICD is an implantable cardioverter defibrillator that we could implant. It’s used for high risk patients and I think in your case it would be the best solution. It is the most effective and reliable method for patients with your test results.”
“Show me the results,” Jensen says, holding out his hand. JD hesitates for a moment, but then he hands over the file. Jensen skims through it and he doesn’t really get it but the HCM is getting worse. JD is right, the ICD is Jared’s best option. It would also mean that Jared wouldn’t need any meds anymore.
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice is quiet and Jensen looks up, trying for a reassuring smile.
“You’ll be fine. The ICD is the best option right now. And there is a new procedure that was just approved by the FDA. It’s minimally invasive and can be done with conscious sedation.”
“Would I still need to take pills if I get the ICD?” Jared asks.
“No, most patients live without any pills after the implantation.” JD smiles at Jared. “It’d improve your life. You’d even be able to play sports.”
“Okay,” Jared says and Jensen looks up, seeing Jared looking at JD with determination. “Okay, we’ll do it.”
JD smiles. “Great. I’ll get the procedure scheduled.”
“You okay, Jen? You look like you’re not feeling so well.”
Jensen takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I’m fine. You know what that means, right?” Jared looks at Jensen questioningly. “Well, you wouldn’t need to be married to me anymore.”
“Oh,” Jared breathes. “Yeah, I guess.” Something flashes across Jared’s face and Jensen can’t keep from hoping that it is disappointment.
Because that’s what he’s feeling. Jared will move out, will move on with his life. And Jensen? He isn’t sure what to do without Jared in his life.
It’s stupid, because this wasn’t ever meant to be more, to be real. But it feels real and Jared has never felt like this, completely enthralled with one person. Jensen is funny and intelligent. He listens to whatever Jared has to say and never seems bored.
But what does Jared have to offer him? Jensen is rich, filthy rich, and Jared is just a guy with a high school diploma and no job. He has no money to his name and no way of ever making something of himself. And on top of that he has a weak heart.
What a catch, right?
When he gets home that night, he locks himself in his bedroom after telling Jensen that he has a headache. However, lying on the bed and sulking doesn’t make it better.
It was always a given that the marriage would end. So Jared will just have to deal with it. He’ll be fine. Eventually he’ll be fine.
But it doesn’t stop him from coming up with an idea to make at least one more happy memory with Jensen. He calls Karen the next morning and she’s completely thrilled by the idea, promising him that she’ll help him get everything ready.
On Thanksgiving morning Jared gets up and has breakfast with Jensen. Somehow their living together has been strained since the moment they learned that this marriage really is temporary.
“So you’re going to Jeff’s place later?” Jensen asks and Jared nods.
“Yeah, he’s picking me up around noon.”
Jensen smiles, but it seems forced. “Tell them ‘hi’.”
“I will.” Jared looks down at his plate, pushing around the last few bites of pancake on it. “I…” he starts, not really knowing what to say.
“What?” Jensen asks.
Jared shrugs and smiles sadly. “Just… Happy Thanksgiving, Jensen.” He drops a kiss to Jensen’s cheek and then he vanishes into his room. He doesn’t want to see the look on Jensen’s face.
Ten minutes later he hears the front door close. Jensen never came to say good bye.
At noon Jeff comes over and picks Jared up. “What’s wrong?” he asks the moment he comes face to face with Jared.
“Nothing,” Jared says. “Everything’s great.”
“JT…”
“I knew this was going to end. I went into it knowing that it was just a business arrangement.”
“Shit, JT,” Jeff breathes. “You really like him, huh?”
Jared shakes his head. “No, I think I love him.”
Jeff pulls him into a tight hug. “It’ll be okay, little brother. I promise. It’ll be okay.”
Jared appreciates the reassurance even though he knows better. Jensen will move on, find someone who’s perfect for him. Not someone with as much baggage as Jared.
“C’mon, Karen’s had the turkey in the oven since this morning. It needs saving.”
Jared forces a laugh and then follows his brother out of the penthouse. When they get to Jeff’s house, Megan jumps into his arms.
“I can’t wait to meet that guy of yours. I can’t believe he married you so you could have insurance,” she gushes, her cheeks red with excitement.
Jared chuckles. “Well, if everything works as planned, you’ll meet him soon.”
“On my side everything’s ready,” Karen says, pointing at the couple of picnic baskets that are standing on the kitchen counter.
That means Jared just has to make one more call.
“And?” he asks the person on the other end.
“It’s really quiet. No problem to come over.”
Jared disconnects the call and they all pile into the car, driving back to Manhattan. The hospital is really quiet and Chad waves when he sees Jared, pointing to the office Jensen’s using right now.
Ashley tucks at Jared’s hand. “Can I yell ‘surprise’?”
Jared smiles. “Of course you can, honey.”
“Jamie too?” Jamie asks.
“Both of you can yell ‘surprise’.”
Both kids smile brightly and Jared counts to three before pushing the office door open.
“SURPRISE!” Ashley and Jamie yell, startling Jensen, who spins around to look at them, completely stunned.
It takes a second but then his face breaks into a huge smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Celebrating Thanksgiving with you, Uncle Jen,” Ashley says, running over to him hugging his legs. He runs a hand gently over her hair and Jared’s heart clenches at the fond look on Jensen’s face.
“That’s a real surprise,” Jensen says, looking up at Jared. “You planned all this?”
Jared shrugs. “You should be with family on Thanksgiving.” He doesn’t say ‘your’, but it’s implied and at the look that lights up on Jensen’s face he thinks maybe Jensen heard it nonetheless. He pulls Megan towards his side. “This is Megan, Jen.”
Jensen smiles broadly, holding out his hand. “It’s good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Ignoring Jensen’s hand completely, Megan pulls him into a tight hug. “Thanks for doing this for JT. It means the world to me.”
Jared can see that Jensen is blushing at the words and he smiles fondly when their eyes meet over Megan’s head.
“So, we brought food,” Karen says, interrupting the moment. She puts the two picnic baskets on the table.
“Food’s always appreciated,” Jensen says. “C’mon, sit down.”
When they’re all seated, Ashley asks, “Can I say thanks first?”
Jeff nods fondly. “Of course, honey.”
“I’m thankful for Uncle Jen because he made Uncle JT better again,” Ashley says and smiles broadly.
Jamie nods seriously at his sister’s words. “Me too,” he pipes up and Jared feels a little overwhelmed. He doesn’t really know how to explain it to them when the time comes and Jensen won’t be there anymore.
Jensen looks really touched on the other side of the table.
Jeff, Karen and Megan say they’re thankful that Jared’s better and that they’re all healthy and that they met Jensen.
When it’s Jared’s time to say thanks, he doesn’t really know what to say, because it would all be too obvious. So he mumbles that he’s glad that he’s doing better and that life seems to be looking up.
Jensen says that he’s thankful that they all thought of him and came by to spend Thanksgiving at the hospital with him.
It’s dark when Jensen’s shift ends and they make their way home. Snow is slowly falling from the sky and Jared huddles inside his parka. He turns around when he notices that Jensen’s not beside him anymore.
Jensen’s a few steps back, looking up at the dark gray sky.
“Jen, you okay?”
Jensen shakes his head and looks back at Jared. “Y’know what I should have said I’m thankful for?” Jared frowns and shakes his head. “I was offered a job as Head of Cardiology at Oahu General Hospital in January. I didn’t take it.”
“What?” Jared asks confused.
“I didn’t take it because I couldn’t stand working with my cheating ex-boyfriend. But y’know what? It was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m so thankful that I didn’t take the job. Because it means I got to meet you.”
Jared feels a lump in his throat and his heart speeds up. “What are you saying, Jen?”
Jensen steps towards him. “I’m saying that I’m thankful that you came into my life and that I got the chance to marry you. And that I don’t wanna ever let you go again.”
“Jensen,” Jared breathes.
But before he can say anything else, Jensen’s lips are covering his. They’re warm and soft, and Jared leans into the touch. He hasn’t been kissed in years and this is Jensen, so he feels a little lightheaded when they break apart. He sways on his feet and Jensen holds onto his arms to keep him steady.
“Jay, you okay?” he asks concerned, and Jared laughs.
“So okay.” And then he leans down and kisses Jensen again.
It’s Thanksgiving and here, Jared is standing, kissing Jensen out on the street while it’s snowing. That’s definitely something to be thankful for.
He pads into the living room after brushing his teeth and finds Jensen rummaging in the open kitchen. His back is turned to Jared, but Jared doesn’t need to see his face to know that he’s tense and on edge.
“Jen?” he asks carefully.
Jensen spins around, almost knocking his head into the open cupboard door. He hisses when he avoids it by an inch and then plasters on a smile when he looks at Jared.
“Hey, c’mon sit down. I made breakfast. It’s a big day.” He stops himself and runs a hand through his hair. “But you can do it. It’s only a little procedure and you’ll be fine.”
All of a sudden it dawns on Jared. Jensen is worried about the procedure, about Jared getting the ICD. Jared smiles softly.
“Dr. Morgan explained it all to me, Jen. I’m not nervous.”
Jensen nods quickly. “Of course not. You shouldn’t be. It’s really no big deal.”
Jared makes his way over to where Jensen is standing at the kitchen counter. “Stop it.”
“What?” Jensen asks surprised.
“Stop worrying. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” The ‘we’ still sounds pretty new to Jared, but it feels so damn right that it makes him smile broadly nonetheless.
Jensen’s head drops to his shoulder. “I just… I’d be calmer if it would be me doing the procedure. JD… he’s good… but…”
Jared presses a soft kiss to Jensen’s hair. “I know. It’s okay. But there’s no need to freak out. Promise me you’ll do your job, while I get the ICD.” Jensen groans and Jared lifts his head. “Promise me.”
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Okay, I promise. I just…”
Jared stops him mid-sentence by leaning down a little bit and kissing Jensen. It’s soft and gentle, but when Jensen pushes his tongue, rubbing it slowly against Jared’s, it does get more heated. Jensen’s hands find their way into Jared’s hair, entangling it with his fingers and holding Jared in place. Jared moans a little, feeling his dick stir in his pants.
They haven’t really done anything more than kiss over the last few days since Thanksgiving, but Jared can’t wait to actually get the ICD and take this further, without worrying that his heart might give out.
Jensen pulls back, smiling softly. “I think I feel better now.”
Jared laughs. “Good. Me too. Let’s have breakfast now, so we can get this day over with.”
The procedure is scheduled for eleven thirty and they make it to the hospital at around eleven. Chad, the nurse, takes him to the room where he’ll spend a few hours after the procedure, so they can make sure that the ICD is working properly. Jensen trails after them and Jared raises his eyebrows at him.
“What did you promise me?”
“I just wanted to make sure that you’re comfortable,” Jensen defends himself and Jared chuckles.
“Go and look after your patients. I’m fine.” Jensen opens his mouth and Jared is sure he wants to argue, so he adds quickly, “Go. You can come see me when Dr. Morgan has put the thing in.”
Jensen huffs out a breath and says, “Fine. I’ll go.” He looks at Chad. “Make sure he’s comfortable.”
“Of course, Dr. Ackles,” she says seriously.
Jensen leaves and it’s not long after that Chad leads him into the examination room. Dr. Morgan enters shortly after Jared gets rid of his shirt.
“Morning, Jared. How are you feeling?”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Dr. Morgan smiles. “Let’s get on with this, then.”
The procedure really doesn’t take long and soon Jared’s back in his room, with a bandage covering the place where Dr. Morgan put the ICD in. There’s a knock on the door and Jared grins when he sees his brother and sister-in-law.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by. You shouldn’t have.”
“We just wanted to see how you’re doing,” Karen says, sitting down next to Jared’s bed. “How are you feeling?”
Jared smiles. “Good. It doesn’t hurt at all.”
“That’s good,” Jeff says. “I’m glad you’re feeling okay, lil’ bro.”
There’s a commotion outside the door and then Mike pushes Jensen into the room. “See, he’s fine. Can you stop fretting now and do your job?”
Jensen’s cheeks are burning red and Jared frowns. “What’s going on here?”
“This love sick fool was so worried about you and your stupid ICD that he was driving me crazy. I actually have some patients I need to check on, so I just wanted to drop Jensen off.”
“Jen?” Jared asks slowly and Jensen groans.
“Yeah, okay. I might have gone a little overboard, but I just couldn’t stop worrying.”
Jared smiles, holding out his hand to Jensen and when he grabs it Jared pulls him closer, putting his hand over his heart.
“See, beating strong and steady. And all just because of you.”
He can see the tension practically draining out of Jensen’s body and he smiles when Jensen leans down to plant a wet kiss on his lips.
When they pull apart he meets Karen’s eyes over Jensen’s shoulder. She’s smiling and mouthing ‘I told you it would work out’. Yeah, she really did.
And right now it really is working out well. Jared pulls Jensen into another kiss and when they come up for air, the room is empty.
“You gonna take me home now?” he asks.
Jensen smiles broadly and nods. “Home it is,” he says.
“Jay, I’m home,” he calls out and regrets it the moment he hears paws pattering on the hardwood floor. “Sadie, no,” he gets out before their puppy jumps him, causing him to tumble to the floor and letting go of the grocery bags.
They spill out on the floor and Jensen groans when he sees more than one tomato getting trampled by an over-excited puppy.
“Sadie,” he says sternly, but the puppy is not listening to him. She’s been Jared’s baby girl from the start.
“Sadie!”
Jared’s voice echoes to them and Sadie stops immediately, perking up her ears. Jared’s footsteps travel towards them and then he rounds the corner, breaking into a loud laugh when he sees Jensen lying on the floor between their groceries.
“Very funny, Jay,” Jensen grumbles, climbing to his feet.
“I’m sorry,” Jared says trying to sound serious, but Jensen can see the teasing glint in his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Next time you go and get our groceries.”
“Ah, Jen,” Jared croons, walking over to him and wrapping his freakishly long arms around Jensen’s body. “Don’t be angry. She’s just a baby; she doesn’t know her own strength yet.” He plants a soft kiss on Jensen’s lips and Jensen finds himself relaxing into the touch.
“I know,” he sighs, when he pulls away. “Just take her out back while I get this mess sorted out.”
Jared grins. “C’mon Sadie, let Daddy clean up the mess you made.”
Jensen rolls his eyes at the daddy thing. He told Jared to stop it, but his husband doesn’t really listen to him.
They’ve been married for almost two years now and each day Jensen falls more in love with Jared. They got the house six months ago, after Jensen caught Jared staring at Ashley’s drawing with want in his eyes for the thousandth time. Sadie moved in three months later.
Everything is perfect.
The ICD procedure was a full success and Jared hasn’t had any symptoms ever since JD put it in. After it was clear that it worked Jared found a job at a library, which he loves. Jensen was promoted to Head of Cardiology last year and even though it’s a lot of responsibility and long hours, he loves it.
Life is really working out for them right now.
Jensen puts the groceries he could save where they belong and then mops up the tomato mess. He finds Jared and Sadie in the backyard playing ball, when he’s finished and grab himself a beer.
He loves watching Jared and Sadie romp around, only for the fact that Jared can romp around with their energetic puppy. A few minutes later, Jared walks up the steps that lead to the back porch and drops into Jensen’s lap.
Jensen huffs out a breath. “You’re heavy, Jay.”
Jared leans in and breathes, “You love it.” And Jensen can’t really argue with that. Who wouldn’t love a sweaty Jared in their lap?
“I love you,” he says.
Jared beams at him. “I love you too.”
Then they’re kissing and everything’s right in the world.
