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Laios my sweet boy, you deserve so many more reader insert fics.
A = Aftercare (what they are like after sex)
Giving- Depending on if the session was intense or not his aftercare would differ as well. If you need specific aftercare, be sure to tell him, he’s not going to pick up on hints. For best results discuss needs BEFORE sex. He would be very open to what you suggest and make sure to remember your needs after a lil breather. Without a prior discussion he would check on how you were feeling and get snacks and some water to replenish afterwards.
Receiving- If it was early in your relationship, he would possibly ask for reassurance or if there was anything he could change for next time. He would get more confident and better at reading your needs as he gets more experienced.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)
Theirs – He loves his arms and hands. How strong they are after he has trained for so long to become strong enough to swing his sword and protect those he cares about. He loves to watch them enter you, paying attention to how your fluids coat them.
Yours- Have you SEEN the orc panel of him talking about the chiefs’ wives????? He loves someone who is soft and chubby especially if they have a nice round butt, pillowy chest, and soft tummy. No matter what size you are he would love the place where your spine meets your hips for some reason. He always places his hand there while walking through a crowded place trying to keep track of you and not get overstimulated in crowds.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Theirs- his cum is thick and not too watery. He doesn’t cum an unreasonable amount, but it is more than average. He does have an above average amount of precum, almost as soon as he gets hard his poor cock starts leaking in excitement. I don’t know how to explain it but his cum is a little muskier than the average. WOULD DEFINITELY want to test how different foods affect how it tastes once he finds out that it’s a thing. At first, he would do it by himself, tasting it after he jerks off or secretly after he came on you. Once he has gotten more comfortable, he will bring it up to you, seeing if you are into his little experiment. If you weren’t then he would try to eat food that he thinks makes it taste better before asking for head/ or more often. IF YOU DO, he will repeat his experiments and see which food made it taste better to you. He would then ask if you wanted to.
Yours/ semen- he would be so upset if you wouldn’t let him taste your cum, but he would accept it. If you do, he licks up every drop he can if it's on him or you. Before he puts it in his mouth, he would mess with it slightly to feel its thickness.
Yours/ slick (once again idk what to say) –He will lap at you every time he has the chance (with permission of course) He would go for the kiss after going down on you so be sure to let him know if that is not something you’re into. Instead of wiping his mouth afterwards he would be very gross about it and lick it off of himself, not wanting to miss any of it.
He may compare your taste to different monsters he’s tasted absentmindedly, you knew what you were getting into.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
As much as he tells you he doesn’t want to have sex in the dungeon it is one of his secret fantasies. Something he prefers to just play out in his head than ever wish into real life. The idea of seeing you fucked by one of the monsters in front of him while he watches gets him so hard so fast, as well as him being pleasured by a monster while you watch. Or ideally you both being simultaneously pleasured by a dryad or the like.
He worries that one day he will be a victim of nightmares and then while they are being cooked the group sees his wildest sexual fantasies play out in the steam. While it haunts his dreams it also makes him aroused.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they are doing?)
He is not very experienced honestly although he had a fiancée previously, I don’t see him wanting to have sex outside of a relationship, and not having any previous relationships where he felt comfortable enough to have sex, including his previous engagement which I think was probably arranged. He knows about sex in a very scientific way, maybe reading a smut book that had sirens or succubae in it mistaking them for genuine monster resource books. He finished reading it and secretly kept it with him and rereads it occasionally.
He knows the simple stuff but anything further you're either going to have to teach him or tell him to research it, which he will be very open to.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He ideally wants to look at you during sex so missionary, cowgirl, and the like are his go to. He likes the amount of control he has in doggy style, but he doesn’t like not being able to see and touch you as freely as he wants to. He would love putting you in a mating press, getting so close to you and observing your facial expressions thrusting deep into you while having access to your clit/ dick.
He would love for you to ride his face though, letting his tongue reach deep inside you hand on your hips pulling you down so you are as close as possible.
For someone with a dick/ strap, he would want to ride you, taking it at his own pace. If he was in a particularly submissive mood, then he would want to be in a sudo-spooning position with his top leg hitched up to his chest to you could reach deeper into him, your chest pressing into him, arm reaching around to play with him as you thrust.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
In the beginning he takes it very seriously, as if he is completing a task, trying to make you feel good. As he gains more confidence, he would begin to be a little bit goofier, making jokes or observations as he thinks of them. He would love to playfully bite you while you’re concentrating to get you out of your own head a bit.
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He tends to be well-shaven and groomed upstairs due to the fact that he doesn’t want to look like his dad, naturally leaning toward being unkempt. But downstairs where he typically doesn’t pay attention it would be up to his sexual partner, if you have it a way you like it, he would try to keep it that way, just genuinely not having a preference. His pubes are slightly darker than his head hair, and on the straighter and thicker side.
For his partner he would definitely prefer them to have hair down there vs. being cleanly shaven. He wants to smell you, he will tell you that to your face if you ask if he cares.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
In a way, he can be kinda scientific at the start. Noting what you like, what you don’t that it doesn’t lead to much intimacy. As he gets more familiar or heated, he will be very intimate and vulnerable. He will compliment you and whisper sweet things to you. He wants to be close to you, letting your souls mix together and breathe the air from your lungs, wanting to consume you in anyway he can.
J = Jack off (masturbation head canon)
Before you he would only masturbate as a stress reliever whenever he was especially pent up. Though that would be very rare.
After you two meet and he started having feelings for you he would start getting boners just from your presence, if he wasn’t clear on his crush yet it would be so confusing for him “is this a side effect of a monster, or magic in the dungeon?” Not wanting them to interfere with his focus he would either ignore them, or if he couldn’t he would quickly get off.
After you two get together but before you had sex he would jerk off, feeling hot thinking of you and feeling a little ashamed.
After you first had sex, he would tell you almost immediately if he got hard and ask if you wanted to have sex. He would prefer to handle it with you but would be satisfied with a quick self-care session, thinking of you and being disappointed it didn’t feel the same. Thinking about how he was so spoiled now, in a positive way.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Monster fucking (obviously)
Bondage – both on him and his partner- especially suspension sex where his partner is suspended.
Dom/Sub dynamics -He’s a service dom-leaning switch and he enjoys the structure and rules this type of sex lends itself to. He would want to use safe words even outside of BDSM sessions.
Sexual eating- like eating off of someone or feeding his partner/ his partner feeding him.
Cock warming- he is so touch-starved after years of being socially isolated especially romantically.
Light Impact play- this goes with the BDSM aspects- he doesn’t want to hurt his partner that much but if they are into it, he would be very willing. He likes it on himself when combined with sensory deprivation, giving into his partner completely. He loves the tingles on the skin it leaves after the impact though anything more he would be averse to. He would want you to feed him while blindfolded too, guessing what you’re feeding him.
Roleplay- he would love multiple types of roleplaying but be prepared he does not half-ass his roleplaying and it would be a turn off if you did too.
Aphrodisiacs- especially if it’s related to monsters/ made from monsters. He naturally has a fairly low sex drive and would be interested in the type of desperation and intensity they offer.
Sensory deprivation- as mentioned before, especially if it accompanied with impact play. He likes the idea of completely trusting someone and being at their will.
Pegging/ Anal on him- he wants to explore all types of pleasure with you so he would try it once, then become really into it, the feeling of being so full of you intoxicates him.
Anal on someone with a vagina- similar to above he wants to explore all types of sexual things with you, though he would prefer being inside your pussy. He thinks using butt plug for you is a perfect answer. (Bonus get matching but plugs and he would swoon.) If you don’t like it he would be willing to live with out it.
Overstimulation- both giving and receiving.
Not necessarily a kink but he would want to be sexually stimulated/ sexually stimulate you while cooking.
Lactation
Nipple play
Vore- mainly in theory I don’t wanna explain.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
At your place. He lives with his sister and probably wouldn’t move until married or…. Other things. So, he would prefer not to risk his sister walking in or telling her not to come home while you're over. He would also be down for renting out somewhere like a hotel or a private room at a bathhouse. If possible, his favorite place would be someplace pretty in nature with no risk of being caught. Feeling free in nature, taking pleasure in each other’s bodies.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He for sure gets turned on by eating certain monsters, or just seeing them. If you were open to it, he would talk about them and what he likes about them with you during foreplay. Other things would be you displaying public affection for him verbally. He wouldn’t be a big fan of public physical displays of affection more than handholding or a chaste kiss but if you tell him, you love him or compliment him in public then he would get very excited. He loves it when you make it clear you aren’t ashamed of him.
N = No (something they would not do, turn offs)
He doesn’t like degradation. Giving or receiving. If it’s something you really like the furthest, he would go would be name calling like “his slut” or “his whore’. Same with him receiving it.
Because it would be possible in universe, he would not want to kill you and bring you back to life. IDK why I feel like this should be stated, he also doesn’t like it if/when you risk your life for him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Prefers to give, but we knew this already. Would want to give you oral almost every day, plus he's good at it. Paying attention to what you like and staying on the course. He would do THE MOST to make you feel good, he is somehow more verbal while giving oral than receiving it. Outside of the absolutely lewd clicking and licking sounds, he would whine while giving you oral and would orgasm untouched just by how excited it makes him.
When receiving oral he would enjoy it as well but wouldn’t ask for it outright much more preferring if it’s something you initiate. He would have his resting bitch face for the start, focusing on you and how you look. After it gets hotter and more intense, he would let out little whines and try to stop his hips from thrusting into your mouth. He wants so bad to be good for you. He would only pull his gaze from you as he gets close to his height, trying not to climax before you are ready. He likes when you pay attention the veins running up his cock, he is not a fan of making you gag, though he does take pleasure in the sensations it sends running up his cock, it makes him feel bad that you may be uncomfortable.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He tends to start slow and deep, thoroughly stretching you and letting you feel every inch of him. He wants to please you so he will try to do what you want but left to do what he wants he is honestly a little all over the place. He will speed up out of nowhere being rougher and sloppy as if he just can’t get enough.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)4
Not a big fan of quickies. If you're in the dungeon and you need him, he will take you aside and take care of your needs up against a wall, after he has checked for traps.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He does not want to risk being seen in public. He knows he’s not very socially aware and doesn’t want to make anyone dislike him by putting them in an awkward position.
You would have to bring up anything risky for him to try out right, he will not pick up on cues you drop. Even then he would be on the safer side of sex, willing to indulge in many things as long as he is prepared and there is a safe way to do it. He is more afraid of hurting you than himself honestly, especially if you want to have sex in the dungeon. He knows that you can be healed but he doesn’t want to take the risk of you being seriously hurt or worse eaten and digested.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As long as he remains untouched, he can make you feel good for hours. Whether he’s edging you or overstimulating you he will go for as long as you will let him. But if you touch him or let him in on you, he will last one round or two at most. He gets so into it and drunk on your touch that he’s almost tipsy afterwards and will want to just be by you after he orgasms.
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Before you he may have bought some sort of self-sex powder made from a monster, but he was too scared to use it. Other than that, he didn’t really indulge in himself that much.
After you he would be so into toys, mainly for you and to help you feel good. Though he would be so excited to try a monster inspired dildo/ sheath for you to fuck him with. Would want to use a monster based aphrodisiac with you, consensually. Also, if you got him a flesh light/dildo that was molded after you to take with him when he had to leave, he would probably bust upon seeing it. He would be too shy to use it in the dungeon and would probably leave it at home, afraid of losing it or having one of his party members see it. He would use it when Falin wasn’t home, and he couldn’t see you though.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not big on teasing, not verbally at least. He will want to make you horny in public and then do nothing about it until you both are at your place. But when its time he wants to get to the pleasure in a reasonable amount of time, letting the tension and excitement build but not being cruel about it. He has some self-worth issues so he gets off on you telling him how much you want him so he will tease you a little bit until you tell him how desperate you are for him.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
When in control he tends to be on the quieter side maybe like 30-50% volume, mainly small grunts and whines will escape. He will try to dirty talk or talk you through it, complimenting you and encouraging you.
When you are in control, particular if you are pegging him/ topping him he increases so much, the whining and moaning is almost every other breath for him, the volume level increases with the longer you’re fucking him and the closer he gets to his orgasm. Please overstimulate him he will turn unintelligent and insensible so fast, though he can’t handle it for very long before he drops.
W = Wild card (a random head canon for the character)
After you get into a stable and official relationship, he would introduce roleplay. As I mentioned before roleplay with him can be intense but one scenario he likes and can be lax about is roleplaying that you are the spouse of some wealthy or high up person and are all alone and new to the island and he is your security guard/ knight your spouse sent to protect you on your travels. You meet in a tavern, and you tell him how lonely you are, that your spouse rarely pleases you. He tells you it would be wrong of him to take advantage of his boss’s trust but that he desires you as well. You would have saved up money to rent a nice room out for the night and you would rush to the room still in character letting your pretend yearning come to a climax.
After this one scenario he would still call you by your honorable title out in public or in intimate moments.
X = X-ray (let us see what’s going on under those clothes)
Listen, Laios is an average man physically. That part of his draw. He is about 6 inches hard and has a slightly above-average girth. He is a grower and not a shower, though while soft he is a bit closer to his full size than average. His dick is slightly paler than the rest of him, save for his pink tip which gets darker in hue the more he gets aroused.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He gets hard fairly often when he’s around you or thinks of you but that doesn’t mean that every time, he’s hard he wants to have sex or be touched. I think he is on the lower end of the sex drive when it comes to him wanting to be touched but on the higher end when it come to wanting to please you. I also head-canon him as greysexual so for most of his life he didn’t experience a lot of sexual attraction to people, nor did he want to satisfy himself in that way very often. He gets pleasure from tasting you and making you get off, but it isn’t necessarily just sexual pleasure.
He will get very horny sometimes, don’t get me wrong, there will be times where for a full week you would have to use a crow bar to pry him off of you. It just varies, he’s getting used to being comfortable in his sexuality.
Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Related to the stamina thing, if he orgasmed, he will be out within like thirty minutes, less if you let him remain in you or you stay in him. If he just pleasured you, he would wait until you fell asleep first before letting himself drift off.